BAYSIDE STATE PRISON, TO TALBOT HALL, TO KINTOCK

NO WOMAN SHOULD HAVE TO SUFFER IN OUR COUNTRY, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.  AND YET, SADLY, THE WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND GOES TO PRISON, IS TREATED NOT ONLY IN A BAD WAY, BUT IN A WAY THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.  DOES THE GENERAL PUBLIC AND POPULATION UNDERSTAND JUST HOW A PRISONER'S WIFE IS TREATED?  YES, YOU, THE TAX-PAYING CITIIZEN.  DO YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY?  LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT IT, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, AT LEAST.  I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE...STILL HERE...ALTHOUGH I BELIEVE I AM NOW IN ANOTHER STAGE OF THE "PRISON PLAN."  I WRITE THIS, BECAUSE I REALIZE WHAT I WENT THROUGH IN THE INITIAL STAGES OF INCARCERATION, WITH JIMMY IN BAYSIDE STATE PRISON.  AND YET, IT WAS ACTUALLY THE NORM, AS I LATER FOUND OUT.  IN DOING SOME RESEARCH ABOUT IT, I WAS NOT ALONE. YOU SEE, IT WAS NOT EVEN THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND WAS IN PRISON, IT WAS HOW I WAS BEING TREATED..OUTSIDE THE PRISON, AT HOME....TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF NOTHING.  IT TORE ME TO PIECES..I LOST ALL SELF-DIGNITY.  I BECAME NO- ONE.  I HATED MYSELF.  AND JIMMY STOOD BY ME.  HE WAS THE ONE WHO TALKED TO ME , DAY IN AND DAY, OUT.  HE SUPPORTED ME, THROUGH DEPRESSION AND TEARS.  IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE OTHER WAY AROUND, BUT THIS IS HOW IT WAS..I CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST.  I CAN ONLY HOPE TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM, SOMEHOW, AND I KNOW THAT IS A LONG JOURNEY.  I WANT TO HELP THOSE WOMEN WHO ARE GOING THROUGH THIS NOW, AS I WRITE THIS.  YES, THEY ARE STILL OUT THERE.  AS YOU, THE TAXPAYER ARE IN YOUR COMFORTABLE HOMES, WITH YOUR LOVED ONES, THERE ARE WOMEN OUT THERE IN A TOTAL STATE OF DEVISTATION, WITH A HUSBAND IN PRISON.  IT MAY BE HIS FIRST INCARCERATION, LIKE ME, AND YOU ARE TOLD NOTHING ABOUT WHERE YOUR HUSBAND IS.  YOU ARE TOLD NOTHING ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT...ABOUT RULES AND REGULATIONS.  THESE WOMEN ARE DEPRESSED, AND ALSO MANY ARE ON THE BRINK OF SUICIDE.  I KNOW.  I RECEIVE MANY E-MAILS PER DAY FROM LOTS OF WOMEN WHO ARE POURING THEIR HEARTS OUT TO ME.  THEY ARE NOW GOING THROUGH THE SAME STUFF I WAS , OVER 2 YEARS AGO, WHEN JIMMY WAS FIRST INCARCERATED.  IT BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES, BECAUSE WHY ISN'T ANYTHING BEING DONE ABOUT THIS SITUATION IN OUR COUNTRY?  WHY HAS OUR COUNTRY PUSHED ASIDE THE MANY MILLIONS OF SUFFERING PRISON WIVES.  IT IS A STORY THAT HAUNTS ME.  I CANNOT FORGET IT.  I WILL MOVE FORWARD, ALTHOUGH SLOWLY, TO FIND SOME WAY TO HELP THOSE WHO SUFFER.  AS FOR ME,FOR EXAMPLE, JIMMY , MY HUSBAND TOOK ME OUT OF MY HOME IN LAS VEGAS, WHERE I HAD LIVED FOR 10 YEARS.  HE TOOK ME CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY, YES, 2500 MILES, WITH MY DOG AND 2 CATS.  I WAS AT THAT TIME A BLIND WOMAN, NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE, AND DIFFICULT TO GET MY BEARINGS IN PUBLIC.  MY HUSBAND FOUND A NICE, SAFE HOME FOR ME. IN NEW JERSEY.   AND THEN, HE TURNED HIMSELF IN.  IT IS SHOCKING THAT NO SOCIAL SERVICE WOULD EVEN THINK OF CHECKING UP ON ME...WHY? BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, NO SOCIAL NETWORKS EXIST, AS FAR AS I KNOW.  WHEN JIMMY WENT TO COURT, THEN JAIL, THE COURT SYSTEM SHOULD HAVE BEEN AWARE THAT I WAS A BLIND WOMAN, FROM CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY, ALONE, WITH NO HELP.  BUT THEY DON'T CARE, AND THEY NEVER WILL , UNLESS SOMEONE IS BOLD ENOUGH AND BRAVE ENOUGH, TO TRY TO CHANGE THINGS.  I'M ONLY TALKING ABOUT DOING GOOD THINGS FOR PEOPLE, THAT'S ALL.  WELL, I STILL LISTEN TO ALL THE WOMEN'S LETTERS.  PLEASE KEEP WRITING.  YOU SEE, I MYSELF THOUGHT I WAS UNIQUE, AND GOING THROUGH SOMETHING TERRIBLE.  AS I RESEARCH IT, I FIND I AM NOT ALONE.  I JUST FOUND SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET, TITLED, "the needs of prisoners' wives:  a challenge for the mental health professionals"  by DANIEL SW,BARRET CJ. IT IS A SMALL ARTICLE ABOUT RESEARCH DONE ON THE NEEDS OF THE PRISONER'S WIVES.  THEY SAY THERE IS A NEED IN 6 AREAS...INFORMATION, FINANCES, RELATIONSHIPS WITH FRIENDS, FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS, GRIEF, AND RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN.  THE NEEDS ARE DIFFERENT AT DIFFERENT STAGES OF SEPERATION, AND THE EARLY STAGES OF SEPERATION, HAVE HIGHER LEVELS OF DEPRESSION.  PRIOR EXPERIENCE WITH THE CORRECTIONAL SYSTEM DID NOT MATTER.  RESULTS SUGGST GIVING MORE INFORMATION TO THE WOMEN AT THE TIME OF THEIR HUSBANDS TRIALS, AND INFO ABOUT SELF-HELP GROUPS.  WELL, I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE SOME WORK HAS BEEN DONE, ALTHOUGH THIS STUDY WAS DONE IN 1981.  I AM SERIOUSLY THINKING OF CHANGING MY DOCTORATE FROM NURSING EDUCATION/RESEARCH TO SOMETHING IN WHICH I WILL DO RESEARCH ON PRISONER'S WIVES, AND THEIR NEEDS.  I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT.  I WOULD FIND IT NOT ONLY INTERESTING, BUT I WILL BE HELPING PEOPLE, WHERE A NEED EXISTS.  WELL, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.  I HAD TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST.  NOW REMEMBER, 25 MONTHS HAVE GONE BY FOR ME.  I AM NO LONGER IN THOSE INITIAL STAGES OF DEPRESSION OR GRIEF.  I AM , PRETTY MUCH SO, A HAPPY PERSON, WHO SIMPLY MISSES HER HUSBAND DESPERATELY.  HOWEVER, I HAVE MOVED THROUGH ALL THESE DIFFICULT TIMES, BY BECOMING A PUBLISHED AUTHOR.  I HAVE GOTTEN OVER 10 MAGAZINE STORIES PBLISHED, AND I HAVE GOTTEN MANY THINGS PUBLISHED IN THE ASBURY PARK PRESS.   AND YES, WRITING THIS JOURNAL, WHICH HAS MADE IT INTO THE NEWSPAPERS.  AND JIMMY AND I, WELL OUR LOVE GROWS STRONGER EVERYDAY.  WE ARE SO HAPPY THAT HE HAS A VERY GOOD JOB, AS FOODSTORE MANAGER, AND BECAUSE WE ARE PROGRESSIVE PEOPLE, WE ARE HAPPY WHEN THINGS ARE MOVING ALONG, AND PROGRESSING AHEAD.     HERE IS THE LINK TO THE RESEARCH ARTICLE...Entrez PubMed.......GOOD NITE TO ALL, AND SWEET DREAMS..........FRAN