hello again

I SPOKE WITH JIMMY'S SOCIAL WORKER, TODAY.  IT SEEMS LIKE MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, WE ARE MAKING SOME PROGRESS INTO GETTING THE PHONE THING RESOLVED.  THIS IS AROUND THE 6TH OR MORE CALL TO THE SOCIAL WORKER, AND TODAY I ACTUALLY GOT HER DIRECTLY ON THE PHONE.  I SPOKE WITH HER YESTERDAY, ALSO, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE FOR HER TO GO SEE JIMMY....SHE WAS VERY NICE TO ME ON THE PHONE.

SO WHEN I SPOKE WITH HER TODAY, SHE SAID SHE HAD JUST GONE TO SEE JIMMY, 1/2 HOUR AGO.  SHE EXPLAINED TO HIM WHAT PAPERWORK HAD TO BE FILLED OUT, AS THE WOMAN LAST FRIDAY, HAD SPOKEN TO ME AND EXPLAINED THINGS....THE BIG MYSTERY IS, HOW TO COMMUNICATE THIS TO JIMMY...A MAN IN PRISON...IT SEEMS SO VERY DIFFICULT.

BUT I THINK TODAY, IT GOT STRAIGHTENED OUT.  TODAY HAS BEEN 28 DAYS SINCE I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO JIMMY..........WELL, IT'S THE PHONE COMPANY'S LOSS, AS THEY DIDN'T MAKE THE 700 OR SO DOLLARS....HEE, HEE.....

I ASKED HOW HE WAS....SHE SAID HE WAS HAPPY THAT HE WILL SOON BE ON PAROLE!

I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO.....I JUST CAN'T SAY IT ENOUGH!.......HE IS A MOST WONDERFUL MAN, AND INDIVIDUAL, AND I KNOW YOU'RE ALL SICK OF ME PROFESSING MY LOVE TO HIM!

MY DAYS HERE HAVE BEEN QUIET.......VERY QUIET.

I SLEEP UNTIL AROUND 5 OR 6 PM, BECAUSE JIMMY DOESN'T CALL ME TO WAKE ME UP, AS HE HAS FOR 3 YEARS.  THEN, I GET UP. MAKE COFFEE, SHOWER, AND TAKE THE DOG OUT.  THEN I DO ALL THE USUAL HOUSEHOLD CHORES........I GET THE MAIL, AND IT USUALLY HAS 1 OR 2 LETTERS FROM JIMMY....AND THEN, I EVEN COOK FOR THE DOG, EVERYDAY...YES, EVERYDAY........PRINCE EATS SOME DOG FOOD, BUT HE LOVES THINGS LIKE BROWN RICE, SALAD, AND VEGETABLES, LIKE BROCCOLI. I ALSO MAKE HIM STEAK, HAMBURGERS, CHICKEN, OR LIVER......SOMETIMES  A LITTLE SCRAMBLED EGG, OR PLAIN YOGURT............AND HE GETS A MILK BONE BISCUIT EVERYDAY!.....SO THAT'S PRINCE!....SOMETIMES I BOIL HIM SOUP BONES......

I'VE ALSO BEEN WRITING A LOT LATELY.  TOMORROW I WILL GO TO THE POST OFFICE TO MAIL A 15 PAGE MANUSCRIPT I WROTE....A ROMANTIC SHORT-STORY, AN ADVENTURE....IT IS  OVER 6000 WORDS.....I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT!.......IT'S NOT SO MUCH IN THE WRITING IT, BUT IN WRITING SOMETHING THAT "EXCITES THE PEOPLE."  THEN, IN A FEW DAYS , I WILL START ANOTHER PROJECT.  THAT IS TO WRITE ANOTHER SHORT STORY FOR A MAGAZINE , USING 2500 WORDS.  SO , THAT IS HOW I QUIETLY SIT HERE, WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND....I ALSO GOT INVOLVED PLAYING "BOOKWORM," AND PLAY IT FOR 1-2 HOURS/DAY....I LOVE WORD GAMES LIKE THAT.......CHECK IT OUT ON GOOGLE....

WHEN I SIT AND THINK ABOUT THINGS, THE 3 YEARS OF JIMMY'S INCARCERATION HAS CHANGED ME IN SOME WAYS....AND I FEEL FOR THE BETTER.  IN THE BEGINNING OF THE 3 YEARS, I WAS VERY TENSE, AND UPTIGHT...UNDER WAY TOO MUCH STRESS.  NOW, AFTER 3 YEARS, I LEARNED TO PSYCHOLOGICALLY HANDLE IT BETTER.........THAT IS, IN A MORE PEACEFUL, CALMER, WAY.  SIMPLY PUT, I FEEL LIKE THIS IS WHERE GOD WANTS ME AT THIS PARTICULAR TIME IN LIFE.  I WANT NOTHING, AND I WANT FOR NOTHING, EXCEPT MY HUSBAND, THAT IS.  WE HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL, PERFECT LOVE, AND MARRIAGE, DESPITE PRISON WALLS.  THERE IS 50% DIVORCE RATE IN AMERICA, AND YET, WE HAVE THE STRONGEST MARRIAGE.  JIMMY LOVES ME AS NO OTHER MAN CAN.  AND VICE-VERSA........OUR LIFE AND LOVE OUTSHINES ALL OBSTACLES, SUCH AS PRISON WALLS AND CELLS.......

AND THAT'S WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT....RIGHT NOW, AS I'M TYPING, MARCH 1ST, IS HERE, AS IT IS MIDNIGHT.  JIMMY WALKED OUT THE FRONT DOOR, ON HIS WAY TO COURT, THEN JAIL, MARCH 28, 2003.  THAT WAS 3 YEARS AGO, AND IT IS STILL GOING ON.......

SOME WOMEN HAVE ASKED ME, "HOW DO YOU GO ON?"  "WHY DO YOU WAIT?"..................THE ANSWER IS, BECAUSE "I LOVE HIM."...................AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN ANSWER WHEN THE TIME COMES..........YOU WILL KNOW IF YOU SHOULD WAIT..........THE ANSWER WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE DEPTHS OF YOUR MIND..........AND HEART.

...............AND NOW, ONCE AGAIN, I WOULD LIKE TO WRITE PART 3 OF THE PRISONER'S COMMENTARY.........HIS NAME IS MIKE, BY THE WAY...

PART 3....THIS DOES NOT HOLD TRUE FOR ALL FEDERAL PRISONS.  I'VE SPOKEN TO JERSEY AND PENNSYLVANIA PRISONERS WHO'VE INDICATED THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN HARDCORE FED JOINTS WHERE YOU ARE NOT PLAYING PING PONG OR POOL.  MARION, FOR EXAMPLE, WITH IT'S 23 HOUR LOCK .  THE FEDS APPEAR NOT TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT A PRISONER'S FAMILY TIES WITH IT'S COUNTRY WIDE FACILITIES. 

FROM THE INFORMATION I HAVE READ, IT IS EVIDENT THAT PRISONERS AT GUNATANAMO BAY HAVE IT BAD.  STRIPPED OF ALL CIVILIAN RIGHTS DUE TO THEIR JURISDICTIONAL LOCATION AND SUBJECT TO INTERROGATIONAL TACTICS, NOT EVEN THOUGHT OF BY YOUR TYPICAL HOMETOWN POLICE DEPARTMENT.  HOPEFULLY THE PATRIOT ACT WILL BE AMENDED OR EXCISED TO AT LEAST PROVIDE THESE UNACCUSED BUT SUSPECTED PRISONERS SOME BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS.  THE ACLU IS CURRENTLY HOT ON THE TRAIL OF THESE ISSUES.  LET'S HOPE AND PRAY FOR THEIR PREVALENCE.  AND LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT THOSE PRISONERS HELD IN JURISDICTIONS OTHER THAN THE UNITED STATES."

......to be continued.........next time, we will hear Mike talking about the psychological<SPAN class=spell id=sp-26 title="Click here to replace with: logical, zodiacal, oligarchy, official, officials" style="PADDING-RIGHT: 2px; BACKGROUND-POSITION: left bottom; PADDING-LEFT: 2px; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: url(http://sdk.webmail.aol.com/sdk/20050527/images/bg_spellingErr.gif); PADDING-BOTTOM: 2px; CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 2px; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat-x; BACKGROUND-COLOR: yellow" _backupTitle="null"> aspects of being incarcerated for years.....

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE!...........FRAN

"A PRISONER'S COMMENTARY"..........PART 2

PART  2......."A PRISONER'S COMMENTARY"

"THERE SEEMS TO BE 3 BASIC CATEGORIES OF CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS:  1..THE OFFICER WHO'S JUST THERE TO DO HIS SHIFT, AND GET PAID.  2..THE OFFICER WHO GOES BEYOND HIS CALL OF DUTY TO HELP YOU OUT WITH YOUR PROBLEMS:  AND , 3.  THE OFFICER WHO GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO MAKE YOU MISERABLE ON HIS WATCH.  .......HE BELIEVS THAT ALL PRISONERS ARE SCUM OF THE EARTH, AND SHOULD BE TREATED ACCORDINGLY.

ALTHOUGH MY VOICE COMES FROM A STATE LEVEL, O BELIEVE IT HOLDS SOME IMPORTANCE IN GLEENING ITS FEDERAL COUNTERPART.  FOR EXAMPLE, IN PENNSYLVANIA, IN 1989, HUNDREDS OF MALE PRISONERS WERE MOVED INTO FEDERAL PRISONS ACROSS THE U.S.  ABOUT A YEAR LATER, UPON THEIR RETURN, MOST WERE DISAPPOINTED IN COMING BACK TO THEIR PARENT INSTITUTION.  REASONS RANGING FROM THE FEDS EXPANSIVE PROGRAMS, CANTEEN, RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES, LIKE POOL, PING-PONG, AS WELL AS NICER BUILDINGS, AND CELLS.  THE DOWNFALL BEING LACK OF VISITS DUE TO THE FAR DISTANCE OF THE LOCATION AND MORE EXPENSIVE PHONE CALLS."....................to be continued

A PRISONER'S COMMENTARY

AN INMATE HAS SENT ME A 12 PAGE COMMENTARY, THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU..............

"IT WASN'T MY GOAL IN LIFE TO BECOME A CONVICT GROWING UP.  I GUESS THE CIRCUMSTANCES, AT THOSE IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDHOOD AGES CAUSED ME TO BECOME WHAT I AM TODAY...A FELON.  NO DOUBT WE ARE ALL MOLDED BY OUR CHILDHOOD ENVIRONMENTS TO BECOME ONE KIND OF ADULT, OR ANOTHER.  THIS INCLUDES OUTSIDE INFLUENCES OTHER THAN FAMILY.  PARENTS WILL FOREVER NURTURE AND PRAY FOR THEIR CHILDREN TO BECOME HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL, REPUTABLE ADULTS.  OR AT LEAST MOST OF THEM WILL.  IN THE END, IT'S A ROLL OF THE DICE. 

ON TV, IN BOTH REAL AND FABRICATED CRIMINAL COURTROOMS, WE SEE DEFENDENTS BLAMING THEIR CRIMINAL   BEHAVIORS ON THEIR CHILDHOODS.  AND BECAUSE OF MY IMMERSION IN THE PENAL SYSTEM, FOR 3 COMBINED PERIODS OF 8 YEARS, I BELIEVE I AM JUSTIFIED IN STATING THAT A CHILDHOOD COULD BE A PARTIAL EXCUSE FOR COMMISION OF CRIMINAL ACTS.  IN SOME CASES, A  CHILDHOOD COULD BE SO HORRID, THAT THE DEFENDENT'S PERSONA IS SO WARPED.  IN A DEATH PENALTY CASE, REASON EXISTS FOR THIS PERSON TO BE BANNED FROM SOCIETY FOR LIFE, RATHER THAN MURDERED BY THE STATE..

THE FACT REMAINS THAT IN MY OPINION, 99% OF US HAVE PERSONAL CHOICE OR  FREE WILL.  THE OTHER 1% ARE ROBBED OF CHOICE BY SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTOR BEYOND THEIR CONTROL.  THE ONES WHO CAN'T KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG.  ON THE OTHER HAND, THE ONES CONTAINED UNDER THE 99% , THAT HAD A TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD, KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG, REGARDLESS.  THEY HAD THE FREE WILL OR CHOICE, NOT TO COMMIT THE ACT THAT PLACED THEM IN THE ENAL SYSTEM.  THEY ARE ACCOUNTABLE AND MUST BE ACCOUNTED FORIN THEIR CRIMES.  ALTHOUGH I MAY GRIPE ABOUT THE LENGTH. I DID THE CRIME, AND DESERVE THE TIME.

THE AUTHOR CAN GENERALIZE THAT 2 FACTORS EXIST FOR MEN AND WOMEN IN DEALING WITH A PRISON SENTENCE.  tHESE THINGS ARE PERSONAL TO EACH INDIVIDUAL AND THESE THINGS SUBJECT TO ALL AS A GROUP.

ONE FACTION ALLOWS MEN AND WOMEN TO BE RECIPIENTS OF THE LONLINESS, DEGRADMENT, LEARNED HARD-HEARTEDNESS (GUARDED EMOTIONS), ACCELERATED AGING, MYRIAD FORMS OF ABUSE, MIND GAMES AND A CHANGE OF THE CORE PERSONALITY, BETWEEN PRISON INTAKE, AND RELEASE.  I AM SURE THE AUDIENCE CAN NAME OR THINK OF OTHERS I'VE MISSED.  THE REMAINING FACTION, IS THE TREATMENT OF THE IMPRISONED MEN AND WOMEN, BY CORRECTIONAL PERSONNEl."...........to be continued......

THE MEN IN THE PRISONS ARE READING THIS JOURNAL, AND THEY JUST LOVE IT.  I HAVE STORIES FROM 6 MORE INMATES, WHO WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THEIR THOUGHTS WITH YOU..........

YESTERDAY, JIMMY SENT ME SEVERAL LETTERS.  IN ONE HE STATES, " TODAY IS THE 22ND DAY SINCE WE HAVE LAST SPOKEN.  WE SAVED $700, OR MORE IN PHONE CALLS, BUT I WOULD HAVE GLADLY GIVEN UP ........TO TALK TO YOU, AND HEARD YOUR SWEET, SWEET VOICE."

IN ANSWER TO A COMMENT.......WE WOULD NOT BE ADOPTING, BUT WOULD GO THE ROUTE OF MOTHER SURROGACY, AS JOAN LUNDON DID.

NITE!....AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!...........FRAN

VISITORS GO TO BAYSIDE PRISON

I'M SO HAPPY, BECAUSE JIMMY HAD 2 VISITORS AT PRISON TODAY.  THE MANAGER OF THE FOOD STORE WHERE HE WAS, AND STILL IS EMPLOYED, ALONG WITH HIS WIFE WENT TO SEE HIM.  I KNEW THEY WERE GOING, AS I HAD TO GIVE THEM ALL THE INFO ABOUT THE PRISON...DIRECTIONS, VISITING HOURS, AND BASICALLY WHAT TO EXPECT....THEY HAD TOLD ME , BEFOREHAND, THAT THEY HAD NEVER BEEN IN A PRISON, AND IT WAS A LITTLE SCARY.  I ASSURED THEM, THAT I HAD GONE THERE, BEFORE, ALONE, AND IF I COULD DO IT , THEY COULD, TOO...AS I MYSELF HAD NEVER GONE TO VISIT A PRISON, EITHER, BEFORE THIS ALL STARTED IN MY LIFE....

AND SO, THAY SPENT AROUND 6 HOURS WITH JIMMY, SITTING FACE TO FACE, ON CHAIRS........THEY SPENT 1 1/2 HOURS IN LINE FOR REGISTRATION, BEFOREHAND....THEY MUST HAVE LEFT THEIR HOUSE AT 5 AM , OR SO, TO GET THERE FOR 7AM REGISTRATION.

OF COURSE THEY TOLD ME ALL ABOUT JIMMY!........ACTUALLY I KNEW IT BEFORE THEY EVEN TOLD ME........JIMMY LOOKED HAPPY, BUBBLY ,AND BRIGHT, AND CHEERFUL, AS USUAL!...HE WAS LAUGHING, JOKING, TALKING, AS USUAL.........THAT IS MY HUSBAND FOR YOU!....ALWAYS CHEERFUL, NEVER DEPRESSED...ALWAYS LOOKING ON THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THINGS.....JIMMY IS HAPPY NO MATTER WHERE HE IS!

THEY CALLED ME FROM  THEIR CELL PHONE, AS THEY WERE DRIVING HOME, AND I SPOKE WITH THE WIFE FOR 20 MINUTES....EVERYONE SOUNDED HAPPY, AND IN UPBEAT SPIRITS!

WELL, THAT WAS SATURDAY, TODAY!  NOW IT'S ONLY 24 DAYS TILL PAROLE!

I MUST SAY ONE THING........MY HUSBAND HAS A VERY SPARKLING, ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY.....PEOPLE ARE JUST ATTRACTED TO HIM.......SOME PEOPLE HAVE PERSONA'S LIKE THAT, IN WHICH THEY MAGNETICALLY ATTRACT OTHERS TO THEM....AND THAT IS JIMMY!

I JUST HAVE TO SAY, THAT RIGHT NOW, I AM VERY, VERY HAPPY IN LIFE.  EVERYTHING , IN ACTUALITY, IS GOING VERY WELL.....EXCEPT OF COURSE, THAT I MISS JIMMY SO MUCH.  BUT, YOU SEE, WE ARE SO CONNECTED, THAT HE IS ALWAYS WITH ME.  HE TOLD ME IN TODAY'S LETTER, THAT EVERY NIGHT HE SENDS HIS GUARDIAN ANGEL TO ME, TO PROTECT ME.....AND I FEEL IT EVERYNIGHT..........JIMMY SAID, AROUND 2 AM, LAST NIGHT, "I FELT YOU ALL AROUND ME."   AND WHEN I SPOKE TO ROBERT'S MOM, THE INMATE WHOSE MOTHER CALLS ME , WITH A 2 PHONE CALL......I ASKED HER TO PLEASE TELL JIMMY THOSE EXACT WORDS....SHE LAUGHED.  I SAID, "PLEASE, SAY THOSE EXACT WORDS TO JIMMY....'I FELT YOU ALL AROUND ME LAST NIGHT, JIMMY.".............AND SHE SAID THOSE WORDS....THEN , TODAY, I GET THE LETTER FROM JIMMY WITH THE SAME WORDS, WRITTEN AT THE SAME TIME I FELT HIM WITH ME................INCREDIBLE.

AND SO, TRUTHFULLY, I SPEND A VERY GOOD LIFE.........QUIET, PEACEFUL....REALLY NO STRESS.  YES, AFTER 3 YEARS, I HAVE BEGUN TO ACTUALLY EXPECT STRESS FROM THE PRISON SYSTEM.  AND NOW, I AM EQUIPPED WITH SOMETHING EVEN STRONGER THAN THE PRISON SYSTEM....AND THAT IS GOD........JESUS.

SO WHEN ALL THAT "PRISON STUFF" GETS TO BE TOO MUCH, I JUST HAND IT OVER TO JESUS, AND LET HIM DEAL WITH IT ALL..........

IN THAT WAY, I LEAD A VERY GOOD LIFE, IN EVERY WHICH WAY........I HAVE A STRONG MARRIAGE, A VERY LOVING AND DEDICATED MAN........I AM FINANCIALLY SET, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, AND DON'T HAVE TO WORK, EVER AGAIN, EXCEPT IN DOING THINGS THAT I ENJOY, LIKE WRITING.  I PHYSICALLY FEEL BETTER THAN EVER..........I AM VERY CALM ALL THE TIME, AND LEAD A PEACEFUL LIFE, DOING THE NORMAL DAILY THINGS AT HOME, THAT MOST WOMEN DO.  WE HAVE A LOVING FAMILY OF 2 CATS AND 1 DOG........AND YES, WE DO PLAN TO START A FAMILY......YES START ONE, WHEN JIMMY IS OUT, AND THINGS ARE MORE SETTLED........YES!  YOU HEARD IT HERE, FOR THE FIRST TIME!........YES, WE WILL START A FAMILY, AND WE ARE BOTH IN OUR 50'S..........AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING NEGATIVE, JIMMY AND I HAVE MORE NOW, THAN EVER BEFORE, TO OFFER A CHILD.......OR CHILDREN.  WE HAVE THE TIME, PATIENCE, KNOWLEDGE, AND LOVE TO GIVE A CHILD..........I NEVER REALLY DID BELIEVE IN HAVING A CHILD AT A YOUNG AGE........NOT ENOUGH OF LIFE EXPERIENCE........AND TIME, AND PATIENCE..........

GOOD NIGHT, FOR NOW.............FRAN

INSEPERABLE.......

"INSEPERABLE"......THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE TO ME.....AND IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME............"INCREDIBLE," THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE TO ME..........

YES, JIMMY.  THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE TO ME..........

STILL NO PHONE COMMUNICATION...IT HAS NOW BEEN 23 DAYS WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN.

LETTERS ARRIVE EVERYDAY FROM JIMMY, AND I SEND HIM LETTERS EVERYDAY..........HE JOKES IN ONE LETTER, THAT THE OFFICERS WANT TO KNOW JUST WHO IS THIS MAN, AND WOMAN, WHO SENDS HIM SO MUCH MAIL..........SOMETIMES I SEND HIM 8 OR 10 THINGS AT ONE TIME............AND THEY LOVE MY CARDS, WITH ANIMALS, BECAUSE EVEN THE ENVELOPES HAVE BEAUTIFUL COLORFUL ENVELOPES , OF SCENES WITH ANIMALS........JIMMY TELLS ME THE OTHER INMATES BORROW THOSE CARDS, AND TRACE THE PICTURES OF THE ANIMALS, AS THEY LOVE THOSE CARDS!  TOMORROW, I WILL GO BUY SOME MORE...THIS TIME I'LL GET DOLPHINS, AND WHALES, AND COLORFUL PARROTS AND BIRDS.......I'VE SENT JIMMY AT LEAST 30 CARDS, SO FAR....ONE EACH DAY.

PLEASE, IF ANYONE CAN SPEND A FEW MINUTES WRITING TO AN INMATE, LET ME KNOW.  HE STILL DOESN'T GET MAIL, AND I SENT HIM A CARD, WHICH HE WAS VERY APPRECIATIVE OF.  HE HAS GOTTEN NO MAIL, SO I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE LET ME KNOW........

WELL, IT'S ONLY 25 MORE DAYS TILL JIMMY'S PAROLE..

HIS PAROLE DATE WAS CHANGED FROM MARCH 6TH, TO MARCH 21ST.....THAT IS ONLY 15 DAYS LONGER.  HOWEVER, JIMMY WON'T BE COMING HOME.....HE WILL BE TRANSPORTED TO THE HALF-WAY- BACK HOUSE, AND HAS TO BE THERE FOR 180 DAYS, NOT THE 90 DAYS THAT WERE FIRST PROMISED.  SO, THAT MEANS, HE WON'T BE ABLE TO COME HOME UNTIL SOMETIME IN THE FALL.  SO, IF ANYONE MAY HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED THAT THINGS IN MY LIFE WERE GOING TOO WELL, AND I MIGHT END THIS JOURNAL...WELL, BE ASSURED...THE LIFE OF A PRISONER'S WIFE KEEPS GOING ON AND ON......I DON'T KNOW...MAYBE INTO ETERNITY..........

IN RESPONDING TO "TASTYOFXTASY,"  WHO COMMENTED IN THE LAST ENTRY..............MARRIAGE IS A VERY SACRED THING, AS IT IS A COVENANT BETWEEN GOD, AND THE 2 MARRIAGE PARTNERS..........NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU..........NOT PEOPLE, NOT GOVERNMENT, AND NOT EVEN PRISON WALLS, ALTHOUGH IT MAY SEEM SO DIFFICULT, MOST OF THE TIME.  IN MARRIAGE, PEOPLE TAKE VOWS, AND FORM A COVENANT, OR PACT, BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND GOD.....YOU ARE A PART OF YOUR HUSBAND...THAT IS WHAT MAKES MARRIAGE SO GREAT........YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE.ONE NEEDS A RIGHT AND A LEFT HAND TO CLAP, AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS IN MARRIAGE...YOU NEED A HUSBAND AND WIFE.  YOU ARE PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY PART OF EACH OTHER.  DIVORCE IS A  MAN MADE LAW, BUT IN GOD'S LAW, DIVORCE DOES NOT EVEN EXIST....ONCE MARRIED, YOU FOREVER BELONG TO EACH OTHER. 

AND IT IS IMPORTANT TO ALWAYS REMEMBER, THAT A WIFE, ( OR HUSBAND) , CANNOT BE FORCED TO TESTIFY AGAINST HER SPOUSE, IN A COURTROOM....THAT IS THE LAW.

YES, MARRIAGE IS THE MOST BINDING FORCE IN OUR WORLD.......

YOU SEE, I LIVED WITH A MAN FOR 28 YEARS, AND I WILL ALWAYS SAY IT IS MUCH BETTER TO BE MARRIED....THERE IS NO COMPARISON.......WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME, IT IS THE MOST WONDERFUL FEELING...UNIMAGINABLE.......................YOU SEE, WHEN I STARTED TO LIVE WITH THE OTHER MAN, IN THE EARLY 70'S, IT WAS FASHIONABLE TO DO IT, AT THAT TIME....AND NOW, IN THE 2000'S, IT IS ONCE AGAIN FASHIONABLE, AS SO MANY PEOPLE LIVE TOGETHER..........HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF, IN CYCLES...........WELL, I WILL SPEAK FOR MYSELF.  IT IS BETTER TO BE BOUND IN MARRIAGE...TO FEEL THAT DEEP LOVE AND COMMITTMENT.....AND YES, TO ACTUALLY FEEL AND KNOW, THAT YOU BOTH BELONG TO EACH OTHER...........

ALSO, WHAT YOU MENTIONED IN THE COMMENT, THAT YOU EXPERIENCE AS A PRISONER'S WIFE...IT IS JUST WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING THROUGH, SO DON'T FEEL YOU ARE ALONE.........WE ARE ALL TOGETHER IN THIS!

                                                     FRAN

PS....WHEN THE PHONE CALLS ARE VERY LOW, TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO KEEP TRYING DIFFERENT PHONES IN THE PRISON...HE MAY FIND A LOUDER ONE, AS WAS THE CASE WITH JIMMY AND I..............WHAT I ALWAYS DO, IS KEEP A NOTEBOOK BY THE PHONE.  THEN WHEN JIMMY CALLS, I GO DOWN THE LIST OF THINGS ABOUT THE HOUSEHOLD, THAT I NEED TO DISCUSS WITH HIM, THAT HAPPENED THROUGHOUT THE DAY........JIMMY TELLS ME "OK, FRAN, GO DOWN THE LIST.".....WE DO THAT FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES OR SO...IF I NEED AN ANSWER FOR SOMETHING, HE WILL GIVE ME THE ANSWER IN HIS NEXT CALL, OR WRITE ME A LETTER........THEN, FOR THE REST OF THE CALL, WE DEVOTE IT TO SAYING LOVING THINGS.  ALSO, FOR THE LAST CALL OF THE DAY, AT NIGHT, WE TRY TO ONLY DEVOTE IT TO LOVE THOUGHTS...SINCE IT IS BEFORE BEDTIME, AND THEN WE CAN LAY IN EACH OTHER'S LOVING ARMS WHEN WE GO TO BED.........THE WHOLE KEY TO PRISON PHONE CALLS IS, BEING ORGANIZED, AND NOT LOSING ONE SECOND OF THE CALL!

 

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PRISONER'S WIFE

DO YOU WANT TO STEP INTO MY WORLD, FOR JUST ONE MOMENT, AND SEE HOW MIXED UP OUR PRISON SYSTEM IS IN THIS COUNTRY.  TRUTHFULLY WHAT IT TRIES TO DO , IS DRIVE THE WIFE AT HOME ........INSANE.  AND IT DOES A VERY GOOD JOB TRYING TO DO IT.

I BELIEVE THAT THE PRISONS  SHOULD BE RUN BY PRIVATE SECTORS.  IT IS APPARENT, THAT THE STATE, CANNOT HANDLE THE OVERLOAD OF WORK, AND ARE DOING A MISERABLE JOB, BECAUSE THEY ARE CONFUSED, AND DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING, TO PUT IT PLAINLY. I KNOW THAT IN SOME STATES , SOME PRISONS ARE BEING RUN BY PRIVATE SECTORS.........

OK, HERE WE GO.  AT 11 AM, I STARTED MAKING PHONE CALLS.  

1...I CALLED BAYSIDE STATE PRISON....THE AUTOMATED SYSTEM , IS WHAT YOU GET.  I HAD TO FIND OUT THE VISITING HOURS.  THE AUTOMATED VOICE TELLS ME ABOUT THE VISITING HOURS ON DEC. 24, 2005.........IT IS NOW FEB. 21, 2006........A NEW YEAR, A DIFFERENT MONTH........DOES IT MAKE SENSE?  IS THAT THE EFFICIENT RUNNING OF AN INSTITUTION, I MUST ASK?

2.  SO, NOW I CALL SOCIAL SERVICES.  THEY GIVE ME THE PROPER VISITING HOURS.........OR, I SHOULD SAY, 'I HOPE THEY ARE CORRECT."

3. A FEW MINUTES LATER, I RECEIVE A PHONE CALL FROM BAYSIDE, THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF THE PHONES.  SHE SAYS SHE RECEIVED A COMPLAINT THAT I AM UNABLE TO RECEIVE PHONE CALLS  (I KNOW THAT IS THE COMPLAINT JIMMY FILED AROUND 2 WEEKS AGO).

I GAVE HER JIMMY'S SBI NUMBER, AND SHE LOOKED HIM UP.  NOW, SHE TELLS ME THAT JIMMY HAS NOT FILED THE PAPERWOEK, FOR THE PHONES TO BE STARTED.  I SAID THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE, AS JIMMY IS FAMILIAR WITH THE SYSTEM, AND IT MUST BE THAT THE PAPERWORK GOT LOST, SOMEHOW.  I SAID, 'CAN YOU PLEASE NOTIFY HIM, SO THAT HE CAN RE-SUBMIT THE PAPERWORK."  SHE SAYS NO...SHE HAS NO CONTACT WITH THE INMATES.  I ASK , HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE , ONCE YOU GET THE PAPERWORK....SHE SAYS 5 BUSINESS DAYS.  I SAID, CAN'T YOU PLEASE RUSH IT THROUGH, AS IT HAS BEEN 21 DAYS I HAVE NOT SPOKEN TO MY HUSBAND.  SHE SAID, NO.

3...I CALL THE SOCIAL WORKER.......I EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON.......SHE ANSWERS ME BY SAYING, "CAN'T YOU COMMUNICATE THIS TO YOUR HUSBAND?"  "HOW?," I ANSWER.  "WELL, DOESN'T HE CALL YOU?"..........OK, SO NOW YOU SEE WHAT GOES ON HERE..........NO COMMUNICATION, AND TOTAL INEFFICIENCY IN THE PRISON SYSTEM..........THEN, SHE SAYS, " I WILL TELL HIS SOCIAL WORKER."   ...OK, SO SHE WASN'T EVEN HIS SOCIAL WORKER.  "WHAT IS THE NAME OF HIS SOCIAL WORKER?", I ASK.............YES, NO ONE EVEN HAS THE COMMON COURTESY TO TELL YOU ANYTHING, AS THEY SHOULD LET YOU KNOW WHO HIS SOCIAL WORKER IS, UPON ARRIVAL TO THE PRISON..........I'M NOT SURE IF IT IS INEFFECIENCY, OR IGNORANCE, OR MAYBE A LITTLE OF BOTH.........TRUTHFULLY, I HAVE NOT YET FOUND MANY PEOPLE WHO WORK IN THE PRISON SYSTEM TO BE OF A HUMANE NATURE....IT IS NOT THAT THEY DON'T EXIST...SOME ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE..........IT'S JUST THAT THE WHOLE SITUATION ABOUT PRISONS, IS A VERY MIXED UP ONE, FROM THE FAMILY'S POINT OF VIEW.,

ALTHOUGH I MAY HAVE A HUSBAND IN PRISON, I STILL WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED WITH SOME RESPECT.  I AM NOT FROM THE STREET...I AM NOT A DRUG-ADDICT, OR PROSTITUTE.  I AM AN EDUCATED, PROFESSIONAL PERSON, AND I WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED AS ONE.  FOR THAT MATTER, EVERYONE, DESPITE THEIR SITUATION SHOULD BE TREATED WITH RESPECT, AS THEY BELONG TO THE HUMAN RACE.  AS A NURSE, I WORKED MAINLY WITH DRUG ADDICTS, HOMELESS, AND STREET PEOPLE.  I TREATED THEM WITH RESPECT, AND THEY ALWAYS SEEMED TO APPRECIATE THAT. 

AND AS FAR AS THESE PRISONS ARE CONCERNED, IT IS THE WORST I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE....I ONLY WISH THAT OTHERS IN OUR COUNTRY UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENS WITHINN THESE PRISONS....IT IS A TOP SECRET, BUT WHEN YOU ARE PART OF IT, YOU REALIZE THE TERRIBLENESS OF IT ALL, AND MAY I EVEN USE THE WORD, "CORRUPTION."

SO, THIS IS WHAT TAKES PLACE, ON A DAILY BASIS....PLENTY OF PHONE CALLS, BUT YOU NEVER GET ANYWHERE..............SO, I HOPE THE SOCIAL WORKER TELLS HIM.  I AM ALSO SENDING HIM A NOTE ABOUT IT, AND I'VE CONTACTED THE MOTHER OF AN INMATE, WHO MAY BE ABLE TO GET THE MESSAGE TO JIMMY. WHEN HER SON CALLS HER...I AM CURRENTLY WAITING FOR HER CALL BACK TO ME. 

AND SO, THAT IS IT........THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO TELL YOU ABOUT JIMMY'S PAROLE...........IT IS TOO UPSETING FOR ME TO EVEN WRITE IT RIGHT NOW.........YOU WILL ALL BE SHOCKED, WHEN I TELL YOU WHAT IS HAPPENING..........LIKE I SAID, THE PRISON SYSTEM NEEDS RE-FORMATION......

THANK GOD FOR THIS JOURNAL, WHERE I CAN COME AND LET MY THOUGHTS OUT...

ALL THE GUYS AT BAYSIDE HAVE BEEN READING THIS JOURNAL, AS I MAIL IT TO JIMMY..........THEY JUST LOVE IT........THE SAYING AROUND BAYSIDE IS , "FRAN ROCKS!"........THEY ARE IN FAVOUR OF THIS JOURNAL, THAT THE PUBLIC IS BEING MADE AWARE OF WHAT GOES ON BEHIND BARBED WIRE!..................FRAN

BAYSIDE STATE PRISON

NO PHONE CALLS FROM JIMMY, YET.  IT IS NOW 16 DAYS.  ANOTHER READER OF THIS JOURNAL, WHOSE HUSBAND IS AT BAYSIDE, HAS ALSO NOT RECEIVED ANY PHONE CALLS...I'M WONDERING IF BAYSIDE STILL EXISTS, OR WHAT!  DID IT SUDDENLY DISAPPEAR INTO THIN AIR?....IT ALWAYS HAD A VERY CREEPY FEELING TO IT, WHEN I WOULD VISIT JIMMY THE FIRST YEAR...THE SUMMER OF 2003.

IT WAS LIKE , I WOULD DRIVE THERE, THROUGH THICK FORESTS, WINDING ROADS....IN THE MIST OF THE MORNING.......I WOULD PASS THE CORNFIELDS, AND BARNS AND SILOS, FINALLY ARRIVING AT 7AM....TO ME, IT WAS KIND OF SPOOKY!....BUT THEN AGAIN, I'VE NEVER BEEN IN PRISON, MYSELF!

TO GET THERE AT 7 AM, I WOULD LEAVE MY HOUSE AT 5:30 AM, THE LATEST....WHICH MEANT I HAD TO GET UP AT LEAST AT 4:30 AM....I WAS LIKE THE ONLY CAR DRIVING DOWN THE GARDEN STATE PARKWAY AT THAT TIME OF DAY, ON A SATURDAY, OR SUNDAY MORNING........WHAT WE WILL DO FOR LOVE, I JUST DON'T KNOW!

 I RECEIVE A LETTER FROM JIMMY EVERYDAY, AND I SEND HIM SEVERAL LETTERS, CARDS AND ENVELOPES EVERYDAY, FILLED WITH NEWSPAPER ARTICLES  OF THINGS THAT WILL INTEREST HIM, AND SOME COMPUTER PRINT-OUTS.........I RE-STARTED HIS SUBSCRIPTION TO THE "WALL STREET JOURNAL.".......HE JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT READING THAT PAPER.......NOT ONLY FOR THE STOCK-MARKET AND BUSINESS, BUT FOR INTERESTING ARTICLES, MANY OF WHICH HE SENDS ME.

HE ASKED ME TO ONCE AGAIN ORDER HIM 2 BOOKS ON-LINE, WHICH I JUST DID THROUGH BARNES AND NOBLE.  THEY ARE 2 PAPERBACK BOOKS BY CLIVE CUSSLER, FICTION ADVENTURE, CALLED "VIXEN 05," AND "TIDEWATER."  JIMMY SAID THESE ARE THE ONLY TWO, OF THAT AUTHOR HE HASN'T READ.

SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, WE ARE KEEPING BUSY, AND THE TIME IS MOVING ALONG................

I HAVE NOW GOTTEN INTO PLAYING "BOOKWORM, " ON THE COMPUTER...IT IS FUN, AND CAN KEEP YOU GOING FOR HOURS!......

ANYONE INTERESTED IN WRITING TO AN INMATE,  AKA, PEN-PAL, JUST LET ME KNOW, AND I WILL GIVE YOU ALL THE FACTS.........HE IS A 41/M, SINGLE, WHO HAS NOT RECEIVED ANY MAIL IN 2 1/2 YEARS.  HE IS AT BAYSIDE STATE PRISON..  HE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO WRITE TO, AND HE ONLY HAS AROUND 5 MORE MONTHS LEFT TIL PAROLE...............SO, JUST LET ME KNOW!

MAY YOU ALL HAVE A NICE DAY!................FRAN

jimmy's valentine's day letter

I RECEIVED THIS VALENTINE'S DAY LETTER FROM JIMMY...WEDNESDAY, FEB. 15, IS 2 WEEKS WE HAVE HAD NO PHONE CONNECTION WITH EACH OTHER.

KNOW THIS, ST. VALENTINE'S DAY, AND EVERYDAY....THAT YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING.  FRANCES, PLEASE LET ME KNOW THAT YOU STILL LOVE ME.  THE LACK OF CONTACT WITH YOU, MY WIFE, MY LOVE, IS KILLING ME.  ALL I THINK ABOUT 24 HOURS/DAY, EVERYDAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK, IS MY WIFE, ALL ALONE....HER HEALTH...HER BEAUTY....MY LITTLE KIDS....MY HOME.  I SWEAR, I WILL NEVER SPEND ANOTHER DAY AWAY FROM YOU...........YOUR LOVING HUSBAND, JIMMY

BAYSIDE STATE PRISON..PHONES START WORKING

YOU ARE THE FIRST TO KNOW.  I JUST NOW GOT A CALL FROM A PRISONER'S MOTHER...IT WAS A 3 WAY CALL. WITH HER SON, AND ME.  JIMMY SAYS HE LOVES ME, AND WISHES ME A "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY."   THE PHONES/PIN NUMBERS ARE BEING TURNED ON, A LITTLE AT A TIME.  JIMMY'S IS NOT TURNED ON YET, BUT HE THINKS IN A DAY OR SO, IT WILL BE WORKING.

SO, THAT'S IT.........THAT'S THE STORY.

                      FRAN

bayside state prison

THANK YOU, EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORTIVE COMMENTS, ABOUT THE MILITARY WIFE, WHO WROTE THINGS AGAINST THIS JOURNAL..........YES, I HAVE BLOCKED HER.  WHY?  BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T BELONG HERE. SHE NEEDS TO FIND A MILITARY WIFE JOURNAL, WHERE SHE CAN GO THERE FOR SUPPORT, SO SHE CAN DEAL WITH HER ANGER, IN A CONSTRUCTIVE WAY.

HOWEVER, IF SHE IS STILL READING THIS, I JUST WANT O SAY A FEW MORE THINGS, TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST.......

AT THIS MINUTE, AND MOMENT, YOU SHOULD  BE DOWN ON BENDED KNEES, PRAYING TO GOD, FOR THE SAFE RETURN OF YOUR HUSBAND....TO BRING HIM BACK TO YOU IN ONE PIECE, ALIVE AND WELL, SO YOU CAN RESUME YOUR HOME LIFE, IN A NORMAL WAY.  I WOULD NOT BE OUT THERE, JUDGING OTHER PEOPLE, AT THIS TIME. 

YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY, A BABE IN THE WOODS...STILL WET BEHIND THE EARS........YOU HAVE SEEN NOTHING IN LIFE, NOTHING YET.  SO BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU FOCUS YOUR THOUGHTS, BECAUSE IT MAY COME BACK TO YOU IN A CRUEL, WAY, IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL....IT IS LIKE THAT FOR ALL OF US ON THIS PLANET....THAT IS JUST HOW IT WORKS

THE WORLD OF THE MILITARY AND THE WORLD OF PRISONS, ARE WORLDS APART...BUT, THEY ARE LITTLE WORLDS, IN THEIR OWN ENTITY....EACH WORLD FUNCTIONS AS THEIR OWN LITTLE WORLD.  MOST OF WHAT GOES ON BEHIND PRISON WALLS, IS UNKNOWN TO MOST.

MOST PEOPLE "GENERALIZE"IN THEIR MINDS, WHO A CRIMINAL IS.  I KNOW THAT I DID AT ONE TIME.........CRIMINALS ARE EVIL, VICIOUS PEOPE, LURKING BEHIND EVERY CORNER...READY TO ATTACK.. THAT MAY BE THE CASE IN SO MANY, BUT THERE ARE THOSE WHO MAY NOT FIT THE "MOLD."....even if it is .1%, IT IS WELL WORTH IT....TO CARE FOR THAT .1%........AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND THEM, AND LOVE THEM.

I AM NOT TRYING, BY ANY MEANS TO COMPARE THE MILITARY TO PRISONERS, IN THIS JOURNAL.  TO DO SO, WOULD BE A BIG MISTAKE ON MY PART, AND WOULD BE VERY FOOLISH.  IF I HAVE GIVEN ANYONE THAT IMPRESSION, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I DID NOT MEAN THAT AT ALL.  I ONLY COMPARE BEING WITHOUT THE ONE YOU LOVE...HOW DIFFICULT IT IS....AND THE DIFFICULT PASSAGE OF TIME, THROUGH DAY TO DAY LIFE, AND HOLIDAYS....HOW WE STAY ALONE...WAITING, AND WONDERING ABOUT OUR HUSBANDS.

I READ AN ARTICLE, NOT TOO LONG AGO, THAT MILITARY MEN ARE TAKING THEIR FAMILIES, AND RUNNING AWAY, OUT OF THE COUNTRY, TO CANADA.  THEY DO NOT WANT TO FIGHT THE WAR.  ISN'T THIS A CRIME?....I THINK IT IS.  WELL, I GUESS, ANYONE CAN DO WRONG THINGS, UNDER THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES....

JIMMY TELLS ME EVERYDAY, HOW HE MEETS PRISONERS, IN PRIISON, WHO WERE ONCE IN THE MILITARY.  I WAS SHOCKED TO HEAR THIS.  "FRAN, HE SAYS, EVEN AN EX-MILITARY MAN CAN COMMIT CRIMES.".........SO, IT IS NOT BEYOND MILITARY MEN TO COMMIT CRIMES.

MY HUSBAND WAS IN THE MILITARY....IN THE 70'S, DURING THE VIETNAM ERA.  HE WAS PROUD TO BE IN THE ARMY, AND HAD AN "HONORABE DISCHARGE."

HE LATER BECAME AN ATTORNEY.  JIMMY KNOWS THE LAWS, AND THE HISTORY OF AMERICA, BETTER THAN MOST PEOPLE KNOW THEIR NAME.  HE CAN RE-CITE, FROM MEMEORY, THINGS WE ONLY LEARNED, AND THEN FORGOT IN HIGH SCHOOL.  HE KNOWS THINGS, BY HEART, SUCH AS THE CONSTITUTION, THE PREAMBLE....AND OTHER THINGS.  HE CAN RE-CITE EACH PRESIDENT'S NAME, SINCE GEORGE WASHINGTON, AND CAN TELL YOU ABOUT EACH ONE, AND CAN DRAW A SKETCH OF EACH ONE.....

JIMMY IS ONE OF THE MOST DEDICATED AMERICAN CITIZENS, THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN.......GIVEN A CHANCE, HE WOULD BE RIGHT OUT THERE FIGHTING FOR HIS COUNTRY....(ALTHOUGH HIS POLITICAL VIEWS DO NOT AGREE WITH WHAT IS TAKING PLACE NOW, WITH THE WAR)...

AS I HAVE SAID....YOU ARE A BABE IN THE WOODS.  YOU HAVEN'T SEEN LIFE YET.  I HOPE YOU ARE NOT DIS-ILLISIONED OR SURPRISED ALONG THE ROAD OF LIFE....IT TAKES A STRONG PERSON TO SURVIVE THIS WORLD.

HAVING SAID ALL THAT, I WILL SAY GOOD-NITE, AND PEACE!                       FRAN

BAYSIDE STATE PRISON

THIS IS ESPECIALLY FOR NABSHELL WHO LEFT A RUDE COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY, AND IN ANOTHER PAST ENTRY.

LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW...IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING THIS JOURNAL, THEN DON'T READ IT.  KEEP YOUR NASTY COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.  I'M SORRY YOU HAVE A HUSBAND IN THE MILITARY, AND YOU SOUND LIKE A MISERABLE WOMAN.  IF I HAD A MILITARY HUSBAND, I WOULD START MY OWN JOURNAL TO SUPPORT HIM, AND NOT GO INTO OTHER JOURNALS, ABOUT PRISONER'S AND THEIR WIVES.  I WOULD START A JOURNAL AND BE SUPPORTIVE OF HIM, AND SHOW MY LOVE TO HIM, NOT GO AND PUT OTHER PEOPLE DOWN.  MY HUSBAND WORKED VERY HARD HIS WHOLE LIFE, AND I HAVE ALSO, FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE...SO DON'T PUT PEOPLE DOWN, WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM....I WOULD SUGGEST YOU USE YOUR TIME CONSTRUCTIVELY IN LIFE , AND BE THE WONDERFUL CITIZEN YOU PROFESS TO BE......EVEN MILITARY MEN MAKE MISTAKES, AND GO TO PRISON...SO, YOU'D BETTER LOOK AT WHAT IS HAPPENING ON YOUR OWN SIDE OF THE FENCE..........

BAYSIDE STATE PRISON....WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE PHONES?

TODAY WAS THE 10TH DAY...TOMORROW IS THE 11TH, OF NO PHONE CALL FROM JIMMY.......WHAT IS HAPPENING, BAYSIDE STATE PRISON, WITH YOUR INMATE PHONES?

IT IS THE WEEK-END, SO I SUPPOSE THEY ARE NOT EVEN WORKING ON IT..............IF IT IS SUCH A MAJOR PROBLEM, WITH THE PHONE LINES, I WOULD THINK THEY'D BE WORKING ON IT DAY AND NITE, 24/7.

ONE THING, EVERYONE KNOWS, IS YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE AN ENTIRE PRISON OF MEN ANGRY...JUST BECAUSE THE PHONES ARE NOT WORKING, AND THEY CAN'T SPEAK TO THEIR LOVED ONES.

IF ANYONE ELSE HAS SOMEONE AT BAYSIDE STATE PRISON, IN LEESBURG, NEW JERSEY, AND HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOUR PRISONER, PLEASE EITHER LEAVE A COMMENT HERE, OR E-MAIL ME, AT    CRYSTALMOON222@aol.com

IT WOULD BE INTERESTING TO SEE HOW MANY ARE GOING THROUGH THIS TIME OF SUFFERING, ALONG WITH ME. 

I HAVE ALREADY RECEIVED SOME E-MAILS FROM WIVES, WHO HAVE THANKED ME FOR ACTUALLY FINDING OUT SOME INFO THAT THE PHONE SYSTEM IS BEING REPAIRED.

I RECEIVED 2 LETTERS FROM JIMMY.  OF COURSE HE IS VERY UPSET ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK WITH ME FOR THE PAST DAYS........

HOWEVER, ONE GOOD THING HAPPENED....HE DID SEE PAROLE, AND THEY NOW SAY HE WILL BE PAROLLED BETWEEN 3/6 AND 3/21/06.  THEY ARE NOT SURE OF THE EXACT DATE.  AND SO, NOW IT HAS BEEN MOVED UP 15 MORE DAYS.

I MISS JIMMY, SO MUCH.  WHAT CAN I DO OR SAY....I AM HELPLESS.  SO, I SIT AND WAIT.

IN HIS LETTER , HE SAYS...."THIS PLACE (BAYSIDE STATE PRISON), IS MUCH BETTER THAN 'CRAF.'  MORE AND BETTER FOOD, CLEANER, AND CAN MOVE AROUND MORE....BUT NO YOU (you're not here).  IF I WAS OFFERED ALL THE POWER AND WEALTH IN THE WORLD, TO GIVE YOU UP, I WOULD NOT TAKE IT....NOTHING MATTERS, WITHOUT YOU."

GOOD-NITE, EVERYONE................FRAN

 

 

some thoughts

IT HAS BEEN 8 DAYS, AS OF TODAY, THAT JIMMY AND I HAVE BEEN SEPERATED BY THE PHONE...THAT IS, UNABLE TO TALK.  THAT IS THE LONGEST PERIOD OF TIME THAT WE HAVE BEEN DIS-CONNECTED IN OUR 5-YEAR MARRIAGE.

WHEN I TOOK PRINCE OUT FOR A WALK, A LITTLE WHILE AGO, I GAZED UP AT THE MOON, AND KNEW WE ARE SO TOTALLY CONNECTED...JIMMY AND I, THAT IS.   CONNECTED THROUGH OUR SOUL AND SPIRIT...ALWAYS HAVE BEEN , AND ALWAYS WILL BE...INTO ETERNITY.  THAT IS WHERE WE ARE ONE UP  ON THE REST OF THE WORLD...SOMETHING THEY CAN'T TAKE AWAY FROM US...OUR CONNECTION, THAT IS.  THROUGH PAST LIFE-TIMES, AND INTO FUTURE LIVES, WE ARE INFINITELY ONE, ALONG WITH GOD, OUR CREATOR.  IT IS SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE NEVER THINK ABOUT, OR DON'T UNDERSTAND...JIMMY AND I BELIEVE IN A LOT OF META-PHYSICAL THOUGHT....SOMETHING YOU JUST MAY NOT FIND IN MOST  PRISONS...WE BELIEVE IN DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS, AND PARALLEL UNIVERSES, AND THINGS LIKE THAT...MOST IS PURELY SCIENTIFIC.  AND WITH A BRILLIANT MIND, AS MY HUSBAND HAS, IT IS EASY TO UNDERSTAND, THAT OUR COMMUNICATION IS ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL THAN MOST....I HAVE STUDIED THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE........

AND SO, I'D BETTER STOP, RIGHT NOW, AS I CAN GO ON AND ON ABOUT THIS SUBJECT...........

AND SO, IT GOES TO SHOW YOU, THAT EVEN SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A TELEPHONE, CANNOT KEEP US APART...NOT PRISON WALLS, OR BARS, OR CHAINS, OR BARBED WIRE............NOTHING, I REPEAT, NOTHING, CAN KEEP US SEPERATED.........WHY?  BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING GREATER BETWEEN US, WHICH IS NOT SEEN BY THE HUMAN EYE................IT IS EVEN GREATER THAN THE GREATEST LOVE....IT IS A CONNECTION, WITH OUR SOUL AND SPIRIT.

OUR BEING SEPERATED, THROUGH PHONE LINES, AND DISTANCE IN MILES, AND RULES AND REGULATIONS OF A PRISON, ONLY PROVE TO MAKE US STRONGER, TOGETHER, UNITED AS ONE SPIRIT AND SOUL...........INTO INFINITY,  I'M NOT SCARED, BECAUSE I KNOW JIMMY IS ALWAYS WITH ME...........                      FRAN

PS.....ONE NEEDS TO GO THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE, THEMSELVES, TO TRUELY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.  AND, YES, I FEEL "BLESSED" BY THE PRISON EXPERIENCE. 

bayside state prison

I JUST FINISHED MAKING MY DAILY CALLS ON THE PHONE TO TRY TO SOLVE THE PHONE PROBLEM...I ONCE AGAIN, AS EVERY DAY, CALL VERIZON, AND GTL...THE ANSWER IS THE SAME WITH THEM...NO BLOCKS, EVERYTHINGS OK.

SO, THIS TIME AROUND, WHEN I CALLED BAYSIDE, I WENT TO THE "POWER PLANT EXTENSION."...I MEAN, I FIGURED IF ANYONE SHOULD KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AT BAYSIDE, WITH THE PHONES, IT SHOULD BE THE GUYS IN THE POWER PLANT  (I HAVE ALREADY SPOKEN TO SOCIAL WORKERS, AND BUSINESS OFFICE, AND THEY DON'T REALLY GIVE ME A PROPER ANSWER)...........

SO FINALLY, I GOT A MOST WONDERFUL MAN IN THE POWER PLANT, WHO SPOKE VERY NICELY TO ME, AND EXPLAINED EVERYTHING, IN A CALM WAY.....HE SAID THERE IS A MAJOR PROBLEM WITH THE INMATES PHONES AT BAYSIDE, AND THEY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON IT FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS, AND ARE CURRENTLY WORKING ON IT..............FINALLY, I GOT SOME PLAIN AND SIMPLE DIRECT ANSWERS...THAT IS ALL I WANTED, AT LEAST..........THAT IS ALL ANY PRISONER'S FAMILY WANTS.......ANSWERS.  AND IT SEEMS THAT OUR PRISON SYSTEM, THE WAY IT IS CURRENTLY SET UP, PROVDES NO ANSWERS FOR THE FAMILIES THAT SIT AT HOME, AND ONLY WAIT......I HAVE SAID IT ALL ALONG, IN THIS JOURNAL, AND THIS IS ONE EXAMPLE THAT PROVES IT.

AND SO, THIS NICE MAN, TOLD ME THAT BY THE BEGINNING OF NEXT WEEK, MAYBE SOONER,  THE PHONES SHOULD BE WORKING...AS IT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM....

AND I SEND MY BLESSINGS TO THIS MAN, WHO TOLD ME WHAT THE PROBLEM IS....AND HE SAID IT TO ME IN A CALM WAY...HE WAS NOT ANNOYED, THAT I HAD CALLED THE POWER PLANT.  HE WAS NOT HURRIED, OR IMPATIENT , AS MOST PEOPLE ARE.  AND SO, I BLESS HIM, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, THAT HE HAS GIVEN ME SOME PEACE OF MIND.....THERE SHOULD BE MORE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD LIKE THIS MAN.....EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE YOU DO COME ACROSS A PERSON, WHO DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN OUR WORLD, AND HE IS ONE OF THEM.....

I WILL GO OUT NOW, TO MAIL JIMMY THE 10-PAGE LETTER I WROTE HIM LAST NIGHT.

                                            FRAN

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

HERE ARE THE EXACT STEPS TO READ THE STORY I GOT PUBLISHED TODAY, IN THE "ASBURY PARK PRESS," ABOUT JIMMY'S MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TO ME.....IT IS A SMALL. LITTLE STORY...BUT YOU MAY FIND IT INTERESTING!

IN KEYWORD, ENTER,   WWW.APP.COM

ON LEFT HAND SIDE , YOU WILL SEE A LONG BLACK BOX...SCROLL DOWN TO, "WEB EXTRAS,' AND CLICK ON THAT.

ON LEFT HAND SIDE, SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU COME TO "ON THE RUN"....click on that.

LOOK FOR "MORE ON THE RUN STORIES."  CLICK ON THE 2ND SET OF STORIES,  "MORE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS."   YOU WILL FIND IT THERE..."JIMMY AND FRAN."

GOOD LUCK!

THE PHONE IS STILL QUIET.  I JUST FINISHED WRITING A 10 PAGE LETTER TO JIMMY, TO LET HIM KNOW ABOUT THINGS GOING ON IN THE HOUSEHOLD....

I WILL GO TO BED NOW, AS I AM TIRED, AND WILL ANSWER SOME E-MAILS TOMORROW.....FRAN

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

HERE ARE THE EXACT STEPS TO READ THE STORY I GOT PUBLISHED TODAY, IN THE "ASBURY PARK PRESS," ABOUT JIMMY'S MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TO ME.....IT IS A SMALL. LITTLE STORY...BUT YOU MAY FIND IT INTERESTING!

IN KEYWORD, ENTER,   WWW.APP.COM

ON LEFT HAND SIDE , YOU WILL SEE A LONG BLACK BOX...SCROLL DOWN TO, "WEB EXTRAS,' AND CLICK ON THAT.

ON LEFT HAND SIDE, SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU COME TO "ON THE RUN"....click on that.

LOOK FOR "MORE ON THE RUN STORIES."  CLICK ON THE 2ND SET OF STORIES,  "MORE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS."   YOU WILL FIND IT THERE..."JIMMY AND FRAN."

GOOD LUCK!

THE PHONE IS STILL QUIET.  I JUST FINISHED WRITING A 10 PAGE LETTER TO JIMMY, TO LET HIM KNOW ABOUT THINGS GOING ON IN THE HOUSEHOLD....

I WILL GO TO BED NOW, AS I AM TIRED, AND WILL ANSWER SOME E-MAILS TOMORROW.....FRAN

BAYSIDE STATE PRISON...PHONES NOT WORKING

I SPOKE TO THE SOCIAL WORKER TODAY, AT BAYSIDE STATE PRISON.  SHE SAID THE PHONE LINES AT BAYSIDE ARE DOWN, AND ARE BEING WORKED ON.  SO, THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO, BUT WAIT, PATIENTLY.  I KNOW THE INMATES THERE MUST BE A VERY UNHAPPY GROUP OF PEOPLE, AT THIS TIME.  AS YOU ARE WELL AWARE OF, INMATES RELY ON THIER PHONE CALLS TO MAKE IT THROUGH EACH AND EVERY DAY, AND TO BE SEPERATED FROM THEIR LOVED ONES, IN THIS WAY, IS YET ANOTHER FORM OF TORTURE THEY MUST ENDURE, DESPITE EVERYTHING ELSE.........WHAT I UNDERSTAND IS THAT BAYSIDE SWITCHED OVER TO THIS NEW PHONE SERVICE, AND THEY MUST BE EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTIES.

FOR SOME GOOD NEWS, I HAD ANOTHER LITTLE STORY PUBLISHED IN THE "ASBURY PARK PRESS," TODAY  (FEB. 8, 2006).  IT IS NOT IN THE NEWSPAPER, ITSELF, BUT CAN BE READ ON-LINE.  IT IS A STORY ABOUT JIMMY'S MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TO ME.

SO, I'LL TRY TO EXPLAIN HOW TO GET THERE....

GO TO,  WWW.APP.COM

CLICK ON "WEB EXTRA BUTTON."

CLICK ON THE LINK FOR "MORE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS."

YOU WILL FIND "FRAN AND JIMMY'S" STORY....HOW WE MET IN LAS VEGAS, ETC...WELL, HE NEVER ACTUALLY PROPOSED.  HE "TOLD ME," 'I'M COMING BACK THERE TO VEGAS TO MARRY YOU."   I ANSWERED, "THE SOONER, THE BETTER!"

WELL, READ THE WHOLE STORY FOR YOURSELVES!.........FRAN

NO COMMUNICATION

THERE HAS BEEN NO COMMUNICATION BETWEEN JIMMY AND MYSELF...TOMORROW WILL BE ONE WEEK...I KNOW AT THIS POINT HE IS GOING CRAZY, BECAUSE I AM THE ONE PERSON THAT HE WANTS TO TALK TO, AND CAN'T.....SOCIETY TRYS THEIR BEST TO KEEP US APART...BUT THEY STILL CAN'T, BECAUSE JIMMY AND I HAVE A UNIQUE METHOD OF COMMUNICATION, DESPITE ALL THIS.  IT ONLY STRENGTHENS US.....AND THAT COMMUNICATION, BY THE WAY, IS THROUGH OUR MINDS....SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE CANNOT DO.

I WAS BUSY ALL DAY....RUNNING ERRANDS...DOING PAPER-WORK....POST OFFICE....LOTS OF THINGS...LOTS OF PHONE CALLS ...TALKING TO PEOPLE.

I SPENT TIME IN THE CHURCH TODAY...THAT WAS MY MAIN CONCERN.....GOING TO THE CHURCH.  I VISITED THE SAME SHRINES AND GROTTO THAT JIMMY AND I WENT TO TOGETHER ON HIS FURLOUGHS HOME LAST FALL.

AFTER CALLING SEVERAL TIMES TODAY, I FINALLY GOT THROUGH TO THE PHONE SYSTEM PLACE...IT IS A NEW PHONE SYSTEM  BEING USED AT BAYSIDE...MOST OF THE DAY THEIR COMPUTERS ARE DOWN.  I FINALLY GOT THROUGH AT 5 PM TODAY, HAVING BEEN PUT ON HOLD FOR 1/2 HOUR.  SHE CHECKED THE LINES...JIMMY HAS BEEN TRYING TO CALL...PROBABLY LIKE A MILLION TIMES..BUT THE PHONE SYSTEM HAD A PROBLEM ON IT...SHE SUPPOSEDLY FIXED EVERYTHING...THE LINES ARE ALL OPENED....SO MAYBE HE WILL GET THROUGH TOMORROW....

SO, THAT IS IT.  LIFE GOES ON........FRAN

good morning

GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE....

IT'S A BRIGHT, SUNNY DAY, HERE IN SOUTH JERSEY...COLD AND CRISP.  I'LL BE GOING OUT EARLY , TODAY, TO DO SOME ERRANDS.......WALMART, TO BUY CASES OF CAT FOOD, AND THEN FOOD SHOPPING IN SHOP-RITE. 

I'M SITTING HERE SIPPING ON MY MORNING CUP OF COFFEE....I HAD A VERY NICE PEACEFUL SLEEP LAST NIGHT.  I WAS READING ONE OF EDGAR CAYCE'S BOOKS LAST NIGHT, ABOUT THE CIRCLES AND CYCLES OF LIFE.  CYCLES IN LIFE ARE IN 7-YEAR CYCLES.....AS WE GET OLDER, THE CIRCLES OF LIFE TEND TO BECOME MORE SPIRAL,  INSTEAD OF GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES.......WHEN WE REALIZE ALL THESE THINGS HE TALKS ABOUT, WE WILL REALIZE THAT WE ARE ALL PART OF A BALANCED AND ORGANIZED UNIVERSE...NOT CHAOTIC, AS WE MAY SOMETIMES FEEL IN THIS CRAZY, WORLD OF OURS, WHICH APPEARS UP-SIDE DOWN, AND MIXED UP AT TIMES.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW LATER, IF JIMMY CALLS....

                                                                     FRAN

bayside prison

IT'S MONDAY EVENING...STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM JIMMY.  LAST CONTACT BY PHONE WAS LAST WEDNESDAY...THAT IS 6 DAYS AGO. 

NO PHONE CALLS....ONE LETTER RECEIVED.

I SPENT 2 HOURS ON THE PHONE TODAY, GETTING THE RUN- AROUND.....ONE BIG CIRCLE...CALL HERE, CALL THERE....NOBODY EVER SEEMS TO KNOW........AND THAT IS JUST HOW IT IS...YOU'D THINK I'D BE USED TO IT BY NOW, BUT I'M NOT.......

I FINALLY GOT SOME SATISFACTION FROM AT AT&T, CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION DEPT.  A VERY NICE WOMAN SPOKE WITH ME.  SHE CHECKED EVERYTHING ON THE COMPUTER FOR ME, VERY METICULOUSLY.  SHE SAID THERE WERE NO BLOCKS, ON THEIR END.  SHE SAW I HAD PAID THE $700.00 LAST WEEK.  THERE WERE NO PAYMENTS DUE AT THIS TIME.  SHE SAW THAT JIMMY'S LAST CALL WAS AT 7:20 AM, TO CALL ME BEFORE HE LEFT.  SHE SAW THAT WE HAVE AN ACCOUNT WITH AT&T CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTIONS, SINCE 2003, WHEN JIMMY FIRST WENT TO BAYSIDE...SHE SAW I HAVE BEEN PAYNG BETWEEN $700.00 to $1200.00/MONTH, FAITHFULLY, EXCEPT WHEN JIMMY WAS AT KINTOCK, THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, BECAUSE HE COULD USE A PHONE CARD THERE.

SO, I Will SIT AND PATIENTLY WAIT.

DID YOU KNW THAT ONE OF THE CORPORAL WORKS OF MERCY, IN THE CATHOLIC FAITH IS,  "TO VISIT THE IMPRISONED."

AND SO, I PUT MY FAITH IN THE LORD, AND PATIENTLY WAIT FOR MY HUSBAND........I PATIENTLY WAIT FOR THIS NIGHT-MARE TO BE OVER ONE DAY...HAVING SOME ONE IN PRISON IS A NIGHT-MARE, BY FAR AND LARGE....

ANYONE THINKING OF COMMITTING A CRIME SHOULD READ THIS JOURNAL, AND SEE EXACTLY HOW IT IS......IT IS A LIFETIME OF TENSION AND STRESS...FOR YOURSELF, AND OTHERS............

BELIEVE ME.  IT IS A BEAUTIFUL WORLD OUT THERE........NOT WORTH IT TO BE IN PRISON...........IF YOU DO IT THE RIGHT WAY IN LIFE, YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING, WITHOUT COMMITTING A CRIME....AND IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE.

........FRAN

BAYSIDE STATE PRISON, LEESBURG, NEW JERSEY

JIMMY'S FIRST LETTER FROM BAYSIDE STATE PRISON, ARRIVED!  (it got here yesterday, Saturday, but I got it out of the mailbox today).

HE SAYS HE IS DOING GOOD, BUT MISSES ME. ...HE WRITES, " I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH, I CANNOT STAND IT."

"I HOPE TO HAVE MY PIN NUMBER ON MONDAY, THE 6TH, SO I CAN CALL YOU."........IT IS NOW 4 OR 5 DAYS, SINCE WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.

"YOU ARE ALL I LIVE FOR IN THIS WORLD."...."PLEASE HOLD STRONG!"....'NEVER AGAIN WILL I BE AWAY FROM YOU...NEVER!".........JIMMY WRITES.

"I KNOW YOU WONDER HOW I AM HERE.  I AM OK.  AS OK AS I CAN BE WITHOUT YOU."

"THEY HAVE ME IN THE TRAILORS.  I MAY BE PUT ON THE "FARM."......."I DO NOT CARE.  ALL I WANT IS TO BE WITH YOU."

IT IS NOW, AS OF TODAY, 28 DAYS UNTIL JIMMY IS PAROLLED.  THAT IS, 4 WEEKS AS OF TOMORROW, MONDAY.  I CONTINUE TO CHECK THE DAYS OFF ON THE CALENDER THAT JIMMY MADE FOR ME, THAT HANGS ON OUR BEDROOM WALL.

....HERE I GO AGAIN, COUNTING DAYS, WEEKS...LIVING IN THE WORLD OF COUNTING, AS WE ALL DO IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!

ONE OF THE READER'S OF THIS JOURNAL ASKED ME ABOUT CONJUGAL VISITS.  AS FAR AS I KNOW, CONJUGAL VISITS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY.  I BELIEVE IT DIFFERS STATE TO STATE.  IF IT WERE ALLOWED HERE, I WOULD BE THE FIRST TO BE THERE, THOUGH.  IT WOULDN'T BOTHER ME AT ALL, BECAUSE I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BE WITH MY HUSBAND, EVEN FOR JUST ONE NIGHT...JUST TO SLEEP IN HIS LOVING ARMS......ONE PERSON TOLD ME HOW STRANGE IT IS...YOU ARE PUT IN A STARK, BARREN ROOM, WITH 1 PILLOW AND BLANKET...1 TOWEL AND WASHCLOTH.  IT IS ALL VERY ODD, AND "STERILE," FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD...VERY IMPERSONAL, LET'S SAY.  AND THEN, YOU FEEL AS IF PEOPLE ARE WATCHING YOU...THAT YOU ARE ON CAMERA, WHICH I GUESS YOU MAY VERY WELL BE..........WELL, I'M THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT WOULDN'T CARE......I WOULD BE VERY HAPPY TO BE WITH MY HUSBAND, THAT'S ALL!

I SENT JIMMY 2 VALENTINE'S DAY CARDS.  I HOPE THEY GET THERE .

I AM DOING OK, HERE AT HOME...THE HOUSE IS QUITE...THE PHONE NEVER RINGS....IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO BE MORE IN PRAYER, WITH THE LORD...........

GOOD-NITE EVERYONE.........MAY YOU SOON BE RE-UNITED WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE!............FRAN

 

'Lazy Day"

IT'S BEEN A LAZY, HAZY DAY TODAY....THE KIND MY HUSBAND LIKES.....RAINY, MISTY, DAMP,GREY,  AND NOW, I SEE THE FOG SETTING IN, AS NIGHT TIME COMES...

JIMMY WOULD SAY, "LET'S STAY IN BED ALL DAY TODAY, CUDDLED UNDER THE BLANKETS, LISTENING TO THE RAIN DROPS FALL"................AND SO, I DID THAT TODAY.  STAY IN BED, THAT IS...ALONE, WITH THE 3 ANIMALS ALL AROUND ME.........I ALWAYS KEEP THE BLINDS WIDE OPEN, SO I CAN LOOK AT THE SKY, WHILE IN BED........I LOVE TO LAY IN BED, GAZE AT THE SKY AND TREES....AS WE HAVE A LARGE PICTURE WINDOW IN THE BEDROOM.

TRUTHFULLY, I JUST GOT UP AT 5PM.......I LIKE TO SLEEP IN THE DAY..........I DID IT ALL MY LIFE, SINCE I PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS WORKED THE NIGHT SHIFT WHILE WORKING AS A NURSE.  IT WAS EITHER 12 MIDNIGHT TO 8 AM, OR 7PM TO 7AM.  SO, FOR ME IT WAS ALWAYS NORMAL, SINCE THE AGE OF 20, WHEN I FIRST STARTED WORKING AS AN RN....I FOUND IT MORE SUITABLE TO MY CIRCADIAN RYTHMS.  I FEEL "SICK" AND OUT OF SORTS WHEN I GET UP IN THE MORNING.....I MEAN, I WILL GET UP, AND TAKE THE NEWSPAPER IN, FEED THE CATS, OPEN THE BLINDS, AND MAYBE WATCH SOME MORNING SHOWS ON TV, BUT BASICALLY I AM NOT CONSTRUCTIVE TILL THE LATE AFTERNOON , AND EVENING.

JIMMY IS THE OPPOSITE.....UP AT 6 AM, HE IS DOING THINGS FROM THE MORNING...HE WAS ALWAYS BUSY IN THE HOUSEHOLD, AND I WOULD HEAR HIM IN THE BACKGROUND....IT NEVER BOTHERED ME, BUT I FOUND IT SOOTHING, TO HEAR HIM DOING THINGS........TV ON., BACON AND EGGS BEING MADE....HE WOULD GO OUT FOOD SHOPPING AT 7AM, WHEN THE STORE OPENED.  HE WAS BACK BY 8 AM, BRINGING ME BREAKFAST.  HE WOULD BE DOING THE HOUSEWORK, AND STARTING TO COOK DINNER, AS I WOULD CRAWL BACK IN TO BED, UNDER THE WARM COVERS.  JIMMY TRIED TO CHANGE ME....TO MAKE ME GET UP EARLY.  BUT HE JUST NEVER COULD.  I TRIED TO CHANGE MY WAYS, AND I'LL TRY HARDER, TO GET IN SYNCH WITH HIM, WHEN HE COMES HOME.  FINALLY, JIMMY DID REALIZE THAT MY CIRCADIAN BODY RYTHMS WERE DIFFERENT THAN HIS, AND IT WAS BECAUSE I WORKED THE NIGHT SHIFT MY WHOLE LIFE.  HE REALIZED THAT I CAN GET UP IN THE AFTERNOON AND DO MORE WORK AND GET MORE ACCOMPLISHED LATER IN THE DAY, THAN MOST PEOPLE THAT GET UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.....

IT WAS 2001, IN LAS VEGAS, IN OUR 2-STORY TOWN-HOUSE.  I WAS SLEEPING IN THE BEDROOM,UPSTAIRS.   JIMMY WAS WORKIMG ON THE COMPUTER, IN THE "COMPUTER ROOM," NEXT DOOR.  HE CALLED ME, "FRAN, COME HERE, I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING." (HE DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS STILL SLEEPING)......I GOT OUT OF BED, AND WALKED TO HIM, HAIR TOSSLED, SLEEPY-EYED.....HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME, AND PULLED ME TO HIM.  "YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU FIRST GET UP.  YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE SLEEPY- EYED PEOPLE, AND IT TAKES YOU AT LEAST 20 MINUTES TO FULLY WAKE UP."   HE WAS RIGHT!  THAT'S HOW I AM.....

JIMMY ALWAYS LOVED TO TAKE PIX OF ME SLEEPING.  HE HAS LOTS OF THOSE....EVEN ON THE PLANE, FLYING BACK FROM JERSEY, TO LAS VEGAS, FIRST CLASS.  HE HAS ALL THOSE PIX IN PRISON WITH HIM.  HE EITHER HANGS THEM ON HIS BED, OR HIS LOCKER.....WHEN AT BAYSIDE PRISON, THE FIRST TIME AROUND, HE HAD MADE AROUND 6 PHOTO ALBUMS OF ME, THE PETS AND OUR HOUSEHOLD....EVEN THE OTHER INMATES SAY, 'GEE YOU LIKE TO PHOTOGRAPH YOUR WIFE WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING!"

LAST NIGHT, I STARTED READING ONE OF THE BOOKS I BOUGHT JIMMY, BUT WHICH WERE SHIPPED BACK HERE.  IT IS "THE DA VINCI CODE DECODED,' by MARTIN LUNN.  IT IS A NON-FICTION BOOK, WITH ACTUAL FACTS.  YOU SEE, MOST PEOPLE THINK THAT THE STORY, 'THE DA VINCI CODE,' IS A NEW CONCEPT.  IT IS NOT.  I HAVE BELEIVED AND READ ABOUT THIS FOR MANY YEARS, GOING BACK TO THE LATE 70'S AND 80'S...EVERYONE TODAY, IS EXCITED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS, BUT I AM NOT...I WAS AWARE OF IT, WAY BACK THEN. 

AND SO, I ENJOYED READING ABOUT THE ACTUAL LIFE OF LEONARDO DA VINCI.........I AM A NON-FICTION READER......I LIKE THE ACTUAL FACTS, OR HISTORY....I GET EXCITED ABOUT THE FACTUAL HISTORY, ETC......TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND HOW IT WAS IN THAT DAY AND ERA....TO BE TRANSPORTED  BACK TO ANOTHER DAY AND AGE..........AND SO, I READ ABOUT THE MONA LISA, WHICH I AM ONE OF THE FORTUNATE ONES, WHO ACTUALLY SAW IT IN "THE LOUVRE" MUSEUM, IN PARIS, IN THE 1980'S ON ONE OF MY SEVERAL TRIPS TO PARIS.......

I READ ABOUT JESUS, MARY MAGDELLAN, AND THE LIFE AS IT WAS THEN....

I READ ABOUT "OPUS DEI," WHICH IS IN EXISTENCE TODAY.

THE MATERIAL IS CONTROVERSY, AND SO, I WOULD NOT LIKE TO GET INTO IT...RELIGION, THAT IS.

HOWEVER, AS I SAID, THIS IS THE TYPE OF STUFF I'VE ALWAYS BEEN INTERESTED IN, AND HAVE ALWAYS READ ABOUT........JIMMY SAYS I AM ALWAYS AHEAD OF THE TREND........AND NOW, THE TREND IS  THE BOOK, "THE DA VINCI CODE."  WHEN YOUNGER, I ENJOYED FICTIONAL STORIES....I READ ABOUT EVERY ROMANCE NOVEL THERE IS AND MYSTERY AND SUSPENCE.....HOWEVER, IN THE PAST 20 YEARS OR SO, I ENJOY NON-FICTION, AND MY LIBRARY OF BOOKS AT HOME, LEAN TOWARDS SUBJECTS THAT ARE UNUSUAL.....................AND SO, LIKE I SAID, I ENJOYED READING ABOUT THIS UNUSUAL MAN, LEONARDO DA VINCI, A GENIUS IN ART, SCULPTURE........HE LEARNED ANATOMY OF THE HUMAN BODY BY DISECTING HUMAN CORPSES, SO HE COULD DRAW OR SCULPT THEM....IT TOOK HIM SOMETIMES 4 OR 5 YEARS TO DO A PAINTING.......HE WAS AN EXTREMELY FASCINATING AND UNUSUAL MAN.......HE WAS A GENIUS, JUST LIKE EINSTEIN......AND I AM FASCINATED TO LOOK INTO A PERSON'S MIND, AND SEE WHAT MAKE PEOPLE TICK.......

YOU MAY ASK, "HOW DO YOU READ SO MUCH FRAN, BEING DIAGNOSED AS LEGALLY BLIND?"..........I ASK MYSELF THE SAME THING, AND I AMAZE THE EYE DOCTOR, AND EVERYONE AROUND ME.  I ASK THE EYE DOCTOR. EVERYTIME I SEE HIM , WHICH IS EVERY 6 MONTHS, IF IT IS OK FOR ME TO KEEP READING.  TIME AND TIME AGAIN, HIS ANSWER IS ALWAYS THE SAME.... HE SAYS "YES," AND THAT IT IS ACTUALLY STRENGTHENING MY LEFT EYE, WHICH HAS THE BETTER EYESIGHT......THE ONE EYE I AM READING WITH HAS ACTUALLY GOT 10 POINTS BETTER FROM A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO.......HOWEVER, THE EYE DOCTOR ALWAYS TELLS ME, I AM WORKING EXTRA HARD TO READ, AND SEE...DOUBLY HARD AS A NORMAL PERSON WITH NORMAL EYESIGHT.  THAT MY EYES GET TIRED SO MUCH MORE QUICKLY...AND THE TRUTH IS, I DON'T SEE EVERY WORD EITHER, AND CAN'T SCAN AS I ONCE DID, VERY FAST...I SEEM TO MISS OUT ON THINGS.......THAT'S WHY I TEND TO MAKE A LOT OF SPELLING MISTAKES, HERE, IN THIS JOURNAL....NO MATTER HOW I TRY TO CORRECT THEM , I JUST SEEM TO "MISS" SOME LETTERS......

I TELL YOU ALL THIS, BECAUSE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN LIFE, IF YOU SO WISH IT......IF YOU BELIEVE IT, IT WILL BE MANIFESTED. 

I KNOW THAT I SEEM TO MANY, TO BE A WOMAN, SITTING HERE WAITING FOR JIMMY,  BUT ALONG WITH THAT, I AM AN INDEPTH PERSON, WHO IS VERY INTERESTED IN THE WORLD, HISTORY,ART, EDUCATION, SCIENCE, AND METAPHYSICS, AMONGST OTHER THINGS............THROUGH YOUR READING, AND ACQUIRING OF KNOWLEDGE, YOU CAN BE MORE CONNECTED TO THE MAN YOU LOVE, WHILE HE SITS IN PRISON.  YOUR MINDS CAN "CONNECT," AS JIMMY AND MINE DO...........YOU WILL BEGIN TO REALIZE THAT THE PASSAGE OF TIME, IS ALMOST A MANIFESTATION OF HOW WE PERCEIVE THINGS IN OUR MINDS......YESTERDAY CAN BE TODAY, TODAY CAN BE TOMORROW,,,IT IS ALL HOW WE PERCEIVE IT.......WITH THE PASSAGE OF JIMMY'S PRISON TERM, THIS UNDERSTANDING OF TIME, MAKES MORE AND MORE SENSE TO US......WE ARE MORE AWARE OF IT...WE HAVE MORE OF AN IN-DEPTH FEELING OF THE PASSAGE OF TIME, AND WHAT IT MEANS.  TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, THEY BUILD THEIR LIFE ON WEEK-DAYS, MONTHS, HOLIDAYS, ETC...THEY BUILD THEIR LIVES AROUND A CLOCK...BUT FOR JIMMY AND U, WE HAVE LEARND OTHER-WISE THROUGH OUR EXPERIENCE...TIME IS NOT REALLY EXISTENT........THE REALITY OF TIME, DOES NOT EXIST...ONLY OUR LOVE AND CONNECTION EXISTS, WHICH IS INFINITE......ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE.......YOU MUST GO THROUGH THIS , TO ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE IT...AND YOU MUST ALLOW YOURSELF TO UNDERSTAND IT, BECAUSE IT IS THE GREATEST GIFT TO BE BESTOWED UPON YOU, ONCE YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN IT....THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE PASSAGE OF TIME, THAT IS...THEN, YOU WILL REALIZE THE ONLY CONNECTION YOU ACTUALLY HAVE IS WITH GOD, THE UNIVERSE, AND THE PERSON YOU LOVE AND ARE METAPHYSICALLY CONNECTED TO.  THOSE ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN OUR WORLD...NOT THE CLOCK, OR THE CALENDER, OR WHATEVER MATERIAL THINGS YOU LIVE FOR.

WELL, THE PHONE STILL HAS NOT RUNG...JIMMY HASN'T GOTTEN HIS PIN YET........

AND SO, I WILL SHARE WITH YOU A POEM I WROTE , AND GOT PUBLISHED IN A BOOK OF POEMS, IN 2003, THE YEAR JIMMY WAS INCARCERATD....IT WAS ONE OF THOSE TIMES THAT WE COULD NOT SPEAK ON THE PHONE, AND I WAITED FOR HIS CALL.

 

                                "THE SILENT RING"

                 THE SILENCE OF THE PHONE,

                 THE RING THAT NO LONGER RINGS.

                 MY LOVE, I THINK OF YOU.

                 I SEE YOU IN MY THOUGHTS,

                 I HEAR YOU WHISPER WORDS OF LOVE.

                THE SILENCE OF THE RING IS SO LOUD.

                IT IS THE ENDLESS WAIT.

                                                BY FRANCES R.

                                                 (COPY-RIGHTED 2003, AND

                                                 PUBLISHED IN "THE COLORS

                                                 OF LIFE")

31 more days till parole

WELL, THE DAYS ARE QUICKLY COUNTING DOWN!....31 MORE DAYS....IT WILL BE 5 WEEKS, THIS COMING MONDAY......WE ARE OUT OF JANUARY, INTO FEBRUARY, NOW....6 WEEKS UNTIL SPRING, AND TODAY WAS "GROUND-HOG DAY."   GEE, IT SEMMS LIKE I'M BECOMING LIKE THOSE GUYS IN PRISON...THEY COUNT AND CALCULATE EVERY MINUTE AND MOMENT OF EVERY DAY......

I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM JIMMY YET, AND I KNOW IT IS STILL TOO SOON. 

I DID GET THE 3 BOOKS I ORDERED BACK IN THE MAIL, TODAY....MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND SENT THEM HERE TO ME.  HE SAID HE WILL READ ME "MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA"  WHEN HE COMES HOME....HE LIKES TO DO THAT...READ A CHAPTER OR TWO A NIGHT, OUTLOUD, AS I LAY IN BED....THEN, SOMETIMES I DRIFT OFF TO SLEEP.  WHAT A HUSBAND I HAVE!  THE LAST BOOK HE READ ME WAS "THE LITTLE PRINCESS," DURING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON 2002.  IT WAS A BOOK I READ AS A CHILD, AND JUST LOVE....JIMMY REALLY LIKED THE STORY ,TOO, AS WE ARE BOTH LITTLE KIDS AT HEART!

TODAY I WAS KEPT QUITE BUSY, AS I DID SOME PAPER-WORK FOR MY HUSBAND....I WENT TO THE LIBRARY AND MADE AROUND 70  COPIES, AND TOMORROW I'LL GO MAIL IT AT THE POST OFFICE, REGISTERED MAIL....HIS LAST CONVERSATION TO ME, WAS THAT I SHOULD GET THAT ALL INTO THE MAIL BY FRIDAY.  WELL, HE WILL BE PROUD OF ME, BECAUSE I MET HIS DEAD-LINE...I KEPT PUTTING IT OFF FOR THE PAST 2 WEEKS.

I AM ALSO WORKING ON A STORY I'LL SUBMIT TO A MAGAZINE.  I ALREADY HAVE OVER 5000 WORDS WRITTEN, AND WILL PROBABLY WRITE ANOTHER 1000 TO 2000 WORDS.  I'VE BEEN SITTING UP ALL NIGHT WRITING IT, AS THAT'S WHEN I FEEL INSPIRED...AND GOING TO BED AT 6 AM....FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF NIGHTS.......THE STORY IS ALL UP THERE, IN MY HEAD....IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TYPING IT OUT, AND PROOF-READING IT, WHICH I DO OVER AND OVER AGAIN...AS YOU CAN SEE HERE, I MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES, DUE TO MY POOR EYESIGHT, I KEEP HITTING THE WRONG KEYS....OH WELL!

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A PLEASANT EVENING!...........FRAN

JIMMY WAS TRANSFERRED BACK TO BAYSIDE STATE PRISON, EARLY THIS A.M.!

THE PHONE RANG AT 7 AM THIS MORNING.  IT WAS JIMMY.  "FRAN," HE SAID EXCITEDLY, "THEY ARE TRANSFERRING ME, RIGHT NOW, TO BAYSIDE STATE PRISON."  HE GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION TO MAKE A QUICK CALL TO ME.  HE SAID IT WILL NOT AFFECT HIS COMING HOME ON PAROLE, MARCH 6TH.

JIMMY IS HAPPY IN ONE WAY, TO GO TO BAYSIDE.  ONCE THERE, HE WILL HOPEFULLY HAVE MORE FREEDOM TO WALK AROUND, AND LAST TIME HE WAS THERE, HE WAS ON "THE FARM."....UNLOCKED DOORS, SO THE INMATES CAN GO OUTSIDE AND WALK AROUND....NO BARBED WIRE FENCES.  ACCESS TO THE LIBRARY.  ALL THE MEN HAVE SOME SORT OF JOB.  LAST TIME, JIMMY TAUGHT THE GED TO INMATES  (HIGH SCHOOL EQUIVALENCY CLASSES).  I WENT TO VISIT HIM THERE, A FEW TIMES THAT SUMMER....VISITS WERE OUTSIDE, UNDER THE TREES, SITTING ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER....THERE ARE CORNFIELDS, AND SILOS, AND BARNS....IT IS VERY PRETTY AND PICTURESQUE.  I EVEN WENT TO FAMILY DAY, THAT SUMMER....IT IS 1  1/2 HOURS FROM OUR HOME.

BUT NOW, THE PROBLEM IS, WHEN THE INMATE IS TRANSFERRED, WE LOSE CONTACT BY PHONE.  I HAVE TO SIT AND WAIT, UNTIL JIMMY CAN GET HIS PIN NUMBER, SO HE CAN CALL ME COLLECT.  SO, I JUST WAIT...AND WAIT.  HE SAID, IF BY MONDAY, I DON'T HEAR FROM HIM, I SHOULD START CALLING TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED ABOUT HIS PIN............MONDAY?!   THAT'S A LONG TIME FOR ME NOT TO SPEAK TO JIMMY.  IT IS ONLY WEDNESDAY, NOW....ANOTHER 6 DAYS!

YESTERDAY WAS  VERY GOOD DAY, FOR ME.  EVERYTHING WENT VERY ORDERLY, AND ON TIME....I TOOK CARE OF ALL THE HOUSEHOLD BUSINESS, AND PHONE CALLS THAT I NEEDED TO MAKE....I FELT THAT MY LIFE WAS IN SOME SORT OF BALANCE AND HARMONY.  I EVEN CALLED VERIZON , AND PAID THE $700.00 (For 1 month, only, one month, since jimmy went to craf), SO I COULD BE SURE THAT I WOULD HAVE NO INTERRUPTIONS IN TALKING WITH JIMMY. 

BUT NOW, TODAY, LESS THAN 24 HOURS LATER, AND IT SEEMS AS IF MY WORLD HAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN AGAIN.........WHEN I LOSE CONTACT WITH JIMMY, THE HOUSE GETS COLD AND QUIET.......I FEEL REALLY UPSET INSIDE OF ME.......THERE IS NOTHING THAT ANYONE CAN SAY OR DO FOR ME......I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN IT.  THROUGH THIS ORDEAL, I HAVE COME TO REALIZE THAT OUR PRISON SYSTEM ALMOST SEEMS TO LIKE DISRUPTION IN ONE'S LIFE......THEY TRY AS HARD AS THEY CAN TO CAUSE YOUR LIFE TO BE TOPSY-TURVEY.  I AM A WOMAN WHO IS USED TO PEACE AND HARMONY WITHIN MY HOME AND FAMILY...WORKING AS A NURSE, I BELIEVED IN PEACE AND BALANCE, BECAUSE WITHOUT IT, THE PATIENT WOULD NEVER HEAL..................AND SO, HERE I AM,......STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS.

EVEN THE BOOKS I SENT JIMMY...WELL, THE PRISON REFUSED THEM, SO JIMMY SENT THEM BACK TO ME......I HAD ORDERED THEM ON-LINE THROUGH BARNES AND NOBLE, AND IT COST ME $27.00.  WELL, I TRIED.

AND SO, ONCE AGAIN I WILL TRY TO KEEP MYSELF FOCUSED, MY HOME IN BALANCE, AND TRY TO KEEP PEACE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE........I AM NOT GOING TO LET THE PRISON SYSTEM UPSET ME , JUST BECAUSE THEY LIKE TO KEEP SHUFFLING PRISONERS AROUND.....WELL, AT LEAST JIMMY IS HAPPY, BECAUSE HE IS IN TRANSIT TODAY....IT USUALLY TAKES ALL DAY TO TRAVEL AROUND, LEAVING MEN AT DIFFERENT PRISONS....I SUPPOSE HE IS HAND-CUFFED, OR MAYBE SHACKLED AT THIS TIME....JIMMY IS THE TYPE OF MAN THAT LIKES MOVEMENT...PROGRESS........FOR HIM TO BE IN THAT 8X9 FT.CELL WAS TOO MUCH, ALTHOUGH HE REFUSED TO ADMIT IT, EVEN TO ME.

NOW, I WILL PUT ALL OF THIS INTO THE HANDS OF GOD....

.........FRAN

 

P.S....IF THERE ARE ANY PRISONER'S WIVES OUT THERE READING THIS, WHO ARE INTERESTED IN COMMUNICATING WITH A JOURNALIST WHO IS WRITING A MAGAZINE STORY ABOUT PRISONER'S WIVES, PLEASE E-MAIL ME, ASAP, AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE INFO.  I SPOKE WITH HER YESTERDAY, AND SHE IS READING THIS JOURNAL.  SHE IS INTERESTED IN DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW.  SO, EVEN IF YOU ARE HAVING A VERY DIFFICULT TIME WITH YOUR HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND'S INCARCERATION, CONTACT HER.

MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IS:       CRYSTALMOON222@aol.com