THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF THIS JOURNAL

IT IS EXACTLY ONE YEAR SINCE I STARTED WRITING THIS JOURNAL, "REFLECTIONS OF A PRISON WIFE."  IT WAS A COLD, BLEAK, NEW YEAR'S EVE, LAST YEAR WHEN JIMMY CALLED ME FROM THE PRISON.  HE TOLD ME TO GO ON AOL, AND START WRITING MY THOUGHTS IN A BLOG....IN A JOURNAL.  AND SO, I DID JUST THAT.  AND MY JOURNAL BECAME MY FRIEND.  MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS FLOWED OUT.  IT WAS A PURGING OF MY SOUL.  AND ALONG THE WAY, I MET SOME WONDERFUL PEOPLE.  MANY BECAME MY FRIENDS...GRETCHEN, DAWN, SUSAN, BILL, SUGAR.....AND SO MANY OTHERS READ THIS JOURNAL, WHO STOPPED BY, IN THEIR BUSY DAY, TO TAKE A GLIMPSE AT WHAT I HAD WRITTEN.  SOME LEFT COMMENTS, OTHERS DIDN'T. ...AND ALONG THE WAY, AOL SOMEHOW FOUND MY JOURNAL, AND FEATURED IT ON THE AOL PEOPLE FRIENDS AND FLIRTS PAGE...THE COMMUNITY PAGE.....AND I WAS HAPPY AND THRILLED ABOUT THAT.  AND TO THIS DAY, 1 YEAR LATER, OVER 4,700 PEOPLE HAVE READ IT.  ....I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU MY THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS, AND MAYBE A LITTLE ADVICE.  I LET YOU STEP INTO MY LIFE, AND TAKE A GLIMPSE AT ME....WHAT GOES ON IN THE LIFE OF A PRISON WIFE.   THE UPS, THE DOWNS....THE INS THE OUTS....THE OTHERWISE BORING AND MUNDANE LFE OF A WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND HAS BEEN IN PRISON FOR 21 MONTHS, WHO PATIENTLY WAITS FOR HIM....MANY OF YOU THINK, "WHY NOT STEP OUT, FRAN, AND HAVE A GOOD TIME.".....I DO HAVE  A GOOD TIME, IN A VERY QUIET AND UNUSUAL WAY.....A LIFE OF SOLITUDE...STAYING CONNECTED TO JIMMY VIA THE PHONE...........LETTERS..........CREATIVE IMAGINATION WHEN I LAY IN BED WITH HIM.................STRANGE, BUT ALL TRUE.

WHEN I COMPARE MYSELF, AND OUR MARRIAGE SINCE LAST YEAR, I THINK I / WE HAVE PROGRESSED........A STONGER, CLOSER MARRIAGE.......CEMENTED NOT ONLY IN LOVE, BUT TRUST, TOO...........A LOVE STILL FILLED WITH THE ELEMENTS OF SEXUAL ENERGY, AND YES, FRIENDSHIP.........A STRONG BOND BETWEEN US..........LIKE A ROPE MADE OF STEEL, THAT NO ONE CAN EVER COME BETWEEN...NO ONE CAN EVER BREAK.........

AS FOR ME, I'M  HEALHIER, MINUS 1 TOE......STRONGER.....THINNER.......A LITTLE OLDER, BUT MY HUSBAND SAYS PRETTIER................QUIETER...........MORE PENSIVE.............AND YES, A WRITER....................AND I HOPE TO CONTINUE WRITING, UNTIL I REALLY BECOME GOOD AT IT!........................

AND SO, AS WE GO INTO THIS NEW YEAR, I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR STICKING BY ME.........I'D LIKE TO WISH YOU ALL A HEALTHY, HAPPY, AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR...............AND MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS AND WISHES COME TRUE................HAPPY 2005!

.....................................LOVE, FRAN...........A PRISON WIFE 

SUNAMI

AND NOW, TONIGHT, I WOULD LIKE TO WRITE ABOUT THE TERRIBLE DISASTER THAT HAS TAKEN PLACE ON OUR PLANET......THE SUNAMI.

FOR THE SUNAMI ITSELF, IT IS NOTHING TERRIBLE, BUT A NORMAL COURSE OF EVENTS THAT TOOK PLACE IN NATURE.  THE EARTH IS NOT A SOLID BALL OF HARDNESS, BUT IS MADE UP OF PLATES.  THESE PLATES MOVE BACK AND FORTH, AND OCCASIONALLY, THE PLATES GET STUCK.....WHEN THE PLATES JOLT AND MOVE TO TRY TO GET UNSTUCK, A SUNAMI OCCURS.....IT IS NOT THE OCEANS FAULT...IT IS NOT THE WAVES FAULT....THEY WERE JUST RESPONDING TO A NATURAL COURSE OF NATURE....WE AS HUMAN BEINGS ARE SMALL CREATURES, LIKE TINY ANTS, UPON OUR PLANET....WE ARE MINISCULE WITHIN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM....OUR SOLAR SYSTEM WITHIN OTHER SOLAR SYSTEMS....WHERE DOES IT ALL BEGIN AND END.....NO ONE KNOWS....AND OUR BRAINS CAN BARELY COMPREHEND IT......BUT, AS JIMMY TOLD ME TODAY, "FRAN, WE ARE IMPORTANT AS HUMAN BEINGS, AS WE ARE CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD."

I LIVED IN CALIFORNIA, SO EARTHQUAKES WERE A DAILY FACT OF LIFE...EVEN IN LAS VEGAS, I WAS IN AT LEAST 2 LARGE EARTHQUAKES....IN ONE, MY HOUSE SWAYED, AS I RAN DOWN THE STAIRCASE, TRYING TO GET OUTSIDE.....ALL MY WINDCHIMES SWAYED, AND CHIMED IN UNISON.....EARTHQUAKES MAKE ME FEEL NAUSEATED AND DIZZY...AND CLAUSTRAPHOBIC....I JUST GOT TO GET OUTSIDE TO THE  FRESH AIR.  IN ANOTHER EARTHQUAKE, I WAS IN A CASINO....ALL THE SLOT MACHINES WENT BLANK....PEOPLE RAN OUT OF THEIR HOTELS INTO THE STREETS....IN CALIFORNIA, YOU GET USED TO HOW AN EARTHQUAKE "FEELS."...SO WHEN LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, WHEN AN EARTHQUAKE STRUCK, LIKE IN THE CASINO, I WOULD CALMLY SAY OUTLOUD, "WE ARE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE."....PEOPLE WOULD LOOK AT ME, AND SAY 'WE ARE?'....AFTER AWHILE, YOU GET TO KNOW THE FEELING.........SOMETIMES THE DIZZINESS, AND HEART PALPITATIONS LAST FOR A FEW WEEKS LATER..............I WORKED WITHA NURSE WHO HAD HUGH HEADACHES WHEN AN EARTHQUAKE STRUCK.

IN 1982, I WAS IN INDIA....SOUTHEAST ASIA, ON VACATION....IT WAS IN THIS TIME OF YEAR....THE BEST TIME OF YEAR TO GO THERE...I SPENT 5 WEEKS IN INDIA...........FROM DELHI, TO BOMBAY, TO POONA, TO GOA, A PORTUGEUSE COLONY..............GOA IS REALLY NOT TOO FAR FROM SRI LANKA......IT IS IN SOUTH INDIA, AND IS A BEAUTIFUL RESORT AREA....PALM TREES, BLUE OCEAN, BEAUTIFUL WEATHER....JUST A PARADISE, TO PUT IT PLAINLY........PLACES LIKE THAT ARE DREAM COME TRUES, AS YOU LAY OUT ON THE BEAUTIFUL BEACHES, OR AROUND THE POOL.........RELAXATION....FUN....PLEASURE.....NOT A TENSION IN THE WORLD.................I JUST COULD NOT IMAGINE HAVING THIS SUNAMI TAKE PLACE, OUT OF NO WHERE.....INTO A BEAUTIFUL, PEACEFUL, WARM, TRNQUIL DAY....IT IS UNBELIEVABLE....UNTHINKABLE........................

WE STAYED IN GOA, IN A BEAUTIFUL RESORT HOTEL.....WE HAD OUR OWN THATCHED ROOF BUNGALOW......IT WAS ON A HIGHER ELEVATION, OVERLOOKING THE OCEAN.....I STILL HAVE THE PICTURES....I REMEMBER IT PERFECTLY.......TOURISTS WERE EUROPEAN, SCANDINAVIAN...BRITISH........GOOD FOOD, DRINKS, AND MERRIMENT.................AND NOW, TO SEE THIS HAPPENING IN THE YEAR 2004.....

WILL NATURE BE THE DESTRUCTION OF OUR PLANET?....OR WILL MAN DESTROY HIMSELF?.....WE DON'T KNOW..........BUT I DO KNOW, EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON NATURE......GRAVITY......THE PERFECT BALANCE AND HARMONY OF THE PLANETS IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM.....THE ATOMS IN OUR BODIES............EVERYTHING IN PERFECTION.........CREATED THAT WAY  BY GOD...........FOR NO PLANET TO GO OFF BALANCE, NOT EVEN A HAIRLINE..............AND NOW, SEE WHAT HAS HAPPENED...........SCIENTISTS BELIEVE THE SUNAMI HAS CAUSED A CHANGE IN THE EARTH ON IT'S AXIS............YES, THIS WILL AFFECT EVERY LIVING AND NON-LIVING CREATURE ON OUR PLANET, AND I BELIEVE ON OTHER PLANETS...........IT MAY THROW THE BODY OUT OF KILTER......PEOPLE MAY FEEL DEPRESSED, AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHY........BECAUSE EVERYTHING AFFECTS EVERYTHING ELSE..........I AM SURE WE WILL SEE CHANGES IN OUR WEATHER PATTERNS TOO.........WE JUST DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS IN STORE FOR US..........BUT WE MUST TRY TO MAINTAIN AS MUCH ORDER AND BALANCE AS POSSIBLE.......THE MOON AFFECTS OUR TIDES AND OUR EMOTIONS.....I WONDER HOW IT IS AFFECTING US ALL NOW............

WELL, GOING BACK TO INDIA, AND GOA.......I WAS ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES. I WAS NOT ONLY A TOURIST, BUT MINGLED WITH THE LOCALS TOO  WE VISITED PEOPLES HOMES.  THEY DRESSED ME IN SARI'S AND BANGLES, AND BRAIDED MY THEN LONG HAIR....WE VISITED MARKET PLACES.....I ATE INDIAN FOOD...AND LEARNED ALL THEIR CUSTOMS.....ON THE TV, IT ALL LOOKS SO FAMILIAR.......THE PEOPLE, THE CHILDREN, THE FAMILIES....IT IS ALL SO SAD...........

FOR SOME STRANGE REASON, AS THE SUNAMI STRUCK SOUTHEAST ASIA, I HAVE BEEN IN THE HOUSE FOR 4 DAYS, FEELING NAUSEATED AND WITH GASTROINTESTINAL SYMPTOMS..........I JUST HAVE NOT BEEN MYSELF.......I EVEN REFUSED TO TALK TO JIMMY ON THE PHONE THESE DAYS, AND I KNOW I UPSET HIM..........TODAY I FINALLY TALKED TO HIM, AND EVERYTHING IS NOW OK.  IT WAS LIKE A VERY BIG GLOOM CAME OVER ME.....IT SEEMED ALL SO BLEAK.....IT STARTED SATURDAY NITE, WHEN I RETURNED HOME FROM KINTOCK.......I TRIED ON THE PHONE TO EXPLAIN THIS GLOOM TO JIMMY.......HE TOLD ME TO GO TO SLEEP, GET THROUGH THE NITE, AND BY TOMORROW IT WOULD PASS .  I DID THAT, BUT THE FEELING DID NOT PASS UNTIL TODAY, WEDNESDAY......I AM KNOWN BY OTHERS AS A HIGHLY SENNSITIVE PERSON....I SENNSE WHEN THINGS ARE ABOUT TO HAPPEN....IT HAPPEN DYAS BEFORE THE OKLAHOMA BOMBINGS, AND THEN AGAIN FOR 911.........IT IS AN INDESCRIBABLE IMPENDING DOOM THAT OVERTAKES ME........I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AT THE TIME, BUT WHEN THE EVENT OCCURS, THEN I KNOW, JUST WHY I FELT LIKE I DID....................FOR EXAMPLE, 2 WEEKS BEFORE 911, JIMMY TOOK ME TO NEW YORK....THE CITY I LOVE NAD LIVED THERE FOR 16 YEARS.  AS SOON AS WE ARRIVED, I WANTED TO LEAVE.  I FELT AN INTENSE DOOM AND GLOOM....I FELT INTENSELY DEPRESSED...AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME LOOKED GREY AND BLACK.....I STARTED TELLING HIM, I WANTED TO LEAVE NEW YORK, AND GET AWAY.........I WAS SO SHOCKED AT MYSELF TO SEE THIS........I SAW AND FELLT DEVISTATION IN NEW YORK.........I WAS CRYING, AND ONLY FELT RELIEF WHEN WE LEFT......

PEOPLE TELL ME I AM PSYCHIC.........I TRY NOT TO BE, BUT OTHERS TELL ME SO......HOWEVER, THIS KIND OF THING THAT HAPPENS TO ME BEFORE LARGE WORLD NAD NATIONAL DISASTERS TAKE PLACE IS GETTING KIND OF SCARY...................I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHY I AM BEING GIVEN THIS GIFT OF PREMONITION.......AND BELIEVE ME, IT IS NOT A NICE THING TO FEEL....IT IS LIKE I FEEL THE PAIN OF THE SUFFERING PEOPLE INTENSIFIED WITHIN ME................IT STARTED AS A CHILD, WHEN I WOULD HAVE DREAMS THAT PREDICTED FIRES , THAT WOULD BE IN THE NEWS MEDIA THE NEXT DAY......................

I WOULD LIKE TO CLOSE WITH THIS QUOTE FROM A PERSON IN SRI LANKA.......................

.........."I FEEL VERY ALONE.  I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE ANY FUTURE."

LET US PRAY FOR THIS INDIVIDUAL, ALONG WITH THE 70,000 DEAD, AND COUNTING, THE OTHERS WHO ARE LEFT WITHOUT MOTHERS, FATHERS, HUSBANDS, WIVES.....FAMILIES WIPED OUT......TOTAL DEVISTATION........ONLY GOD HIMSELF HAS THE ANSWER FOR ALL OF THIS................WE ARE TOO MINISCULE TO REALLY COMPREHEND ANND UNDERSTAND JUST WHY THESE THINGS HAPPEN ON OUR PLANET.

AND LET US TAKE A MOMENT TO TELL OUR LOVED ONES......'I LOVE YOU."

THOSE WORDS AND MOMENTS ARE REALLY WHAT COUNTS..................SENDING MY LOVE TO ALL OF YOU....FRAN AND JIMMY

CHRISTMAS AT KINTOCK

I SAW JIMMY YESTERDAY AT KINTOCK.....THE RULES CHANGED ONCE AGAIN, AND I WAS ABLE TO BRING HOME-COOKED FOOD.......SO I BROUGHT LASAGNA, AND CHICKEN, AND LOADS OF OTHER STUFF.....I HAD 5 CHRISTMAS BAGS FILLED WITH GIFTS, AND HE HAD A PRESENT FOR ME.....EVERYTHING WAS GREAT AND HAPPY AND FESTIVE....WE STAYED 4 HOURS.....IT WAS A BEAUTIFU; BRIGHT SUNNY DAY, THROUGH THE FARMLANDS OF NEW JERSEY.............AND THEN I GOT HOME, TO A LONELY HOUSE, WITH MY 3 PETS WAITING............AND THEN ONCE AGAIN, I GOT SICK.....TO MY STOMACH............IT MUST BE PSYCHOLOGICAL.  I JUST DON'T KNOW....I HAD BARELY EATEN ALL DAY.......AND WHEN I GOT HOME, IT ALL STRUCK ME LIKE A BOLT OF LIGHTENING.....I FELT SO DEPRESSED , AND I STARTED CRYING...AND THEN LATER I STARTED VOMITING.....JIMMY CALLED ME AS SOON AS I GOT HOME....HE COMFORTED ME, WHEN I SHOUD BE THE ONE COMFORTING ME....I THINK HE REALIZES ALL THIS HAS A DEEP PROFOUND AFFECT ON ME...I JUST CAN'T HELP IT.....THERE ARE NO WORDS THAT CAN HELP ME...ONLY TIME WILL HELP ME, WHEN I CAN FORGET THIS EPISODE OF MY LIFE.......IT'S JUST HAT THOSE "PRISON PLACES' MAKE ME LITERALLY FEEL SICK....AND I NEVER REALIZE IT UNTIL I GET HOME.....WHEN I WAS A TEEN-AGER , IN NURSES TRAINING, I HAD TO VISIT ALL THOSE TERRIBLE INSTITUTIINS, AND I FOUND IT TERRIBLY DEPRESSING....IT AFFECTS ME IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH....I HAD TO GOT TO RAHWAY PRISON, FOR MY TRAINING, AND ATE LUNCH IN THE CAFETERIA...A HAMBURGER.....WELL, I REMEMBER I JUST COULDN';T EAT IT, AND I WAS SICK TO MY STOMACH, FOR WEEKS LATER.  SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT THE INMATES COOKED THE FOOD, AND I JUST COULD NOT EAT  ANYMORE........WELL, JIMMY TOLD ME THAT WHERE HE IS, IN KINTOCK, INMATES ONLY COOK FOR INMATES....NOT FOR OFFICERS OR ANYOINE ELSE...................AND IN MY NURSES TRAINING I HAD TO GO TO PLACES LIKE GREYSTONE PSYCH INSTITUTION, AND MARLBORO PSYCH........ALSO CARRIER CLINIC..........ALL THESE PLACES WERE LOCATED IN THESE STRANGE REMOTE, COUNTRY AREAS OF NEW JERSEY.......AND I STILL REMEMBER IT WELL.........I KEEP ASKING JIMMY THAT WHEN HE COMES HOME, PLEASE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THIS EPISODE OF OUR LIFE AGAIN...HE SAYS OK, HE WON;T.........I'M JUST SAYING THAT TO BE DIFFICULT, I GUESS.....................JIMMY KEEPS SAYING I WOULDN';T BE NORMAL IF I WASN;'T SOMEWHAT UPSET ABOUT THIS EPIOSODE OF LIFE.....SO I GUESS IT'S OK TO HAVE MY CRAZY THOUGHTS , AT TIMES.....THEY ARE NOT REALLY CRAZY, BUT SORT OF MIXED UP....THEY COME AND GO...........ANYHOW, I WAS GLAD O GET HOME, TO THE PLACE I FEEL SAFE AND SECURE IN........IN HERE, NO ONE CAN HURT ME OR HARM ME....I AM WARM AND SAFE, WITH 3 LOVING PETS.........WITH A PHONE IN WHICH MY HUSBAND TALKS TO ME.........WHAT A STARNGE WORLD MY LIFE HAS BECOME........I JUST DON'T LIKE GOING OUT IN THE WORLD ANYMORE...IT MAKES ME FEEL APPREHENSIVE...LIKE I WANT TO RUN BACK HOME..........

AND SO, ANOTHER CHAPTER IN THE LIFE OF A PRISON WIFE........ANOTHER DAY OVER....ANOTHER CHRISTAMAS OVER.........AND NOW, ONWARD , TO THE FUTURE........I'M GLAD TOMORROW WILL BE TOMORROW, AND TODAY WILL BE OVER..................................FRAN, THE WIFE OF A PRISONER

MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!.....I HOPE THAT YOU ALL HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY, DESPITE WHATEVER CIRCUMSTANCES YOU MAY BE GOING THROUGH AT THIS TIME.........

WELL, FOR ME, LIFE HAS BEEN QUIET , AS USUAL, AND I JUST CONSTANTLY DAYDREAM ABOUT JIMMY.  HE SAID TO ME TONITE, ON THE PHONE..."FRAN, YOU AND I ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE USED TO GOING OUT"....MINGLING WITH THE WORLD....BEING HAPPY AND JOYFUL AT ALL TIMES....GOING TO DINNER, AND SHOWS....TRAVELING AROUND THE COUNTRY, AND THE WORLD.......GOING TO THE MOVIES...CASINOS...SHOPPING..........CELEBRATING AT ALL TIMES............AND THEN, GOING HOME AND MAKING LOVE, OVER AND OVER AGAIN............FOR US, THAT IS ONE THING WE NEVER GET TIRED OF........ALL DAY, AND ALL NITE..............EVERYDAY.....

  ON SATURDAY, CHRISTMAS DAY, I WILL GO TO VISIT JIMMY FOR 4 HOURS.......WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BRING FOOD, SO WE MAY CALL OUT FOR CHINESE FOOD.....THE LIFE OF A PRISON WIFE IS SO STRANGE........I JUST CAN'T GET USED TO IT...........TO  "VISIT' MY HUSBAND, IN AN INSTITUTION.......IT ALL SEEMS SO UNNATURAL.............AND SO THESE PAST DAYS I'VE BEEN QUIET....NOT MUCH ENTHUSIASM FOR ANYTHING.....EXCEPT TALKING TO JIMMY. .........IS THIS NATURAL, TO BE SO DEDICATED TO A MAN WHO IS LOCKED UP, OR SHOULD I GO OUT PARTYING, LIKE SO MANY OF YOU PRISON WIVES DO............NOPE, I'M IN LOVE WITH JIMMY, AND DEDICATED TO HIM.........

  I'VE BEEN PAINTING SUN-CATCHERS THIS PAST WEEK TO GIVE AS PRESENTS TO MY AUNT, SISTER, AND NIECE.....I ALWAYS LIKED DOING IT, BUT IT HAS REALLY GOTTEN TOO DIFFICULT WITH MY EYESIGHT....I CAN NO LONGER DISTINGUISH BETWEEN CERTAIN  COLORS....LIKE BLUE AND GREEN...........AND SO I PAINTED THE LEAVES BLUE, INSTEAD OF GREEN, AND I HOPE NO ONE NOTICES!.............

  ON CHRISTMAS EVE, I WILL GO OUT TO DINNER AT THE LANDMARK INN, WITH MY AUNT , SISTER, AND NIECE.....MY RICH AUNT ALWAYS TAKES US OUT TO A FANCY RESTAURANT ON CHRISTMAS EVE.......SO I WILL ENJOY IT.............THE NEXT DAY, I'LL GO SEE JIMMY, BRINGING HIM GIFTS, AND HE SAYS HE HAS A GIFT FOR ME...............I ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING PREPARED TO BRING TO JIMMY.

   I HAVE SADLY LEARNED NOT TO DEPEND ON ANYTHING....EVEN GOOD NEWS.........I PREFER TO REMAIN NUMB ANND EMOTIONLESS.....IT IS EASIER THAT WAY........THAT IS WHAT THE "SYSTEM" DOES TO AN INDIVIDUAL..........

  JIMMY SAYS THAT I AM DEPRESSED.......I DON'T REALLY THINK I AM.........IN MY PRESENT SITUATION, IT IS NORMAL TO BE SOMEWHAT DEPRESSED..........IT WOULD BE ABNORMAL, IF I WERE RUNNING AROUND, PARTYING AND MESSING AROUND.........LIFE IS VERY FUNNY........AT LEAST I KNOW THAT MY POSITION IN LIFE RIGHT NOW IS BETWEEN THE SLATES OF LIFE..............JIMMY SAYS HE WILL PULL ME OUT OF IT WHEN HE GETS HOME, AND EVERYTHING WILL RETURN TO NORMAL.........AND I KNOW THAT HE WILL, AND IT WILL.........ALL RETURN TO NORMAL........HOWEVER, SHEDDING A LITTLE HUMOR ON THE SUBJECT, WHEN JIMMY GETS HOME, WE'LL HAVE TO REMAIN TALKING TO ONE ANOTHER ON OUR CELL PHONES.....I DON'T THINK I COULD EXIST WITHOUT TALKING TO JIMMY ON THE PHONE.......FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS, WE TALK EVERYDAY, AT LEAT 3-5 TIMES, OR MORE  A DAY, ON THE PHONE........OUR RELATIONSHIP IS DEFINETLY BUILT AROUND TELEPHONES..........WHAT A STANGE WORLD OUR SOCIETY HAS BECOME!

  THE GOOD NEWS, IS THAT THE NEWSPAPER CALLED ME TODAY, AND MY STORY WILL BE PUBLISHED IN THE NEWSPAPER ON CHRISTMAS DAY........IT WILL VBE IN THE 'ASBURY PARK PRESS,".........UNDER CHRISTMAS MEMORIES.......THEY LOVED MY STORY!......IT IS ONLY 100 WORDS LONG..........IT WILL MOST LIKELY ALSO BE ON THEIR WEB-SITE ON CHRISTMAS DAY, TOO...SO IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, YOU CAN READ IT THERE........THE STORY IS TITLED, " NEWLYWEDS...A ROMANTIC CHRISTMAS IN LAS VEGAS."............iIT IS ABOUT OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS TOGETHER, IN LAS VEGAS....HOW JIMMY WINED AND DINED ME, FOR THE WHOLE SEASON.....IT HAD TO BE ONLY 100 WORDS, SO I REALLY COULDN'T TELL EVERYTHING!..........WHAT I LOVE ABOUT WRITING, IS TO FIND OUT EXACTLY WHAT THE PUBLICATION IS LOOKING FOR....AND THEN, TO CONSTRUCT A STORY THAT WILL FIT INTO THE NEWSPAPER OR MAGAZINE.....THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT...........TO CRREATE SOMETHING THAT WILL ATTRACT OTHERS.......TO MAKE IT INTERESTING..........TO TAKE AN OTHERWISE BORING SUBJECT, AND CREATE SOMETHING TO ATTRACT THE PUBLIC.................OUR WORLD ANDSOCIETY IS BASED ON "SENSATIONLISM"...AND THAT IS WHAT WRITERS AND SCREEN-WRITERS DO..................THE ART OF FINDING THAT NICHE...................

WELL, ONCE AGAIN, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AND THANK YOU FOR READING THIS JOURNAL........IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PRISON WIFE, AS SHE AWAITS HER HUSBAND'S RETURN HOME, AFTER ALMOST 2 YEARS...................WITH LOVE,   FRAN

 

Getting into the holiday spirit!

Hi Everyone!

I didn't realize it has been so long since I wrote in this journal!  The days seem to be flying by!  I've been Christmas shopping for Jimmy, and getting ready for the meal I will cook and bring along on Christmas Day, to the half-way house.  I am cooking a lot , and Joimmy has invited a couple of other guys to eat with us!  I'll be cooking lasagna (one with meat, and one vegetarian, as his friend doesn't eat pork),  Italian sausage and meatballs, freshly grated parmesian cheese, Italian bread, Genoa salami (jimmy loves and request it), provolone cheese, ham, and a nice antipasto salad.  Also, I'll bake Christmas cookies, my famous ghiardelli brownies, and corn muffins (which Jimmy loves)...I also bought a panatone and some Italian chocolates.......also soda, and I almost forgot, I'll make roasted chicken.......Does that sound like enough?!......I hope it all fits in the car!  The friend driving me can always put the top down, as he has a convertible sports car!  The visit is for 4 hours, so we'll have plenty of time to eat!........I will wear my red holiday Christmas top, and a hooded woolen holiday jacket, embroidered with snowmen, etc.....So,. as you can see I'm kind of excited.........I love my husband so, and want to be a good wife to him, although he is in prison.....

This week I mailed 30 Christmas cards to our friends and families...some in New Jersey, and some in Las Vegas....Today, I sent Jimmy a big Santa Claus hat (so he can wear it when he cooks in the kitchen!).......I have sent him 3 Christmas cards, too....................As far as gifts, I bought him 5 long- sleeve shirts, a pair of gloves, and socks.  Today I picked up a cute pewter angel ornament, with the name "GRACE."....Grace was his mother's name, and he calls me Gracie, as a nickname, because I remind him of GRACIE ALLEN...always saying silly things...and the way i say it sounds just like her....Well, I can't help it!   It just comes natural....And when Jimmy talks to me, it sounds like Georghe Burns...the dialogue between us really makes people laugh!....The guys at the half-way house always ask him, "how's Gracie...what did Gracie say today?!".............

  And so, I have Jimmy's presents all wrapped up, and ready to go on Christmas day.  I will also buy him a cassette player, so he can listen to my singing tapes that i have recorded...............

  I have decorated Prince's room (MY DOG).....He likes the front porch as his own room, although he sleeps in our bedroom, too....both rooms are near to each other.  So I have an angel doll that lights up, a santa the moves and plays Christmas music, and the ballerina from the NUTCRACKER SUITE, that dances and plays music....I also have a large standing angel that lights up, looking out the window....On the back patio, I have a life-size santa , sitting in a chair, and a life-size snowman. standing up.........That will be it for this year.....Jimmy and I are big Christmas decorators....we have a beautiful white tree, and visctorian village with trian, people, etc....but it's a little too much for me to do it all alone....Well, tomorow i will take out 1 of our 3 nativity sets, and put it on display.....see what I mean!....We have lots of strands of lights, that Jimmy puts up...........Oh we do enjoy the holidays, that much I must say....The last Cristmas we were together was December 2002....I baked over 400 cookies, and around 6 fruitcakes.....we distributed everything to family and friends.........We had stockings hung up.....I had put our names on them with glitter.....5 stockings hung up, for Jimmy, me, the dog and 2 cats!..............Everynite, we would romantically sit on the couch, under the christmas tree, and Jimmy would read me a chapter from the children's book called, "THE LITTLE PRIncess.".......It is a very old story, which I remember reading when I was around 7 or 8 years old.  And shockingly, Jimmy and I found the book when we were Christmas shopping in the Hallmark Store.........It is a wonderful story, and I recommend it to all adults....Sometimes, we would lie in bed, and I would drift off to sleep, as he read to me........Jimmy is such a wondeful man.............

  And so, that last Christmas together, we went out for dinner with our family on Christmas eve, and then at midnight we went to Midnight Mass..........Yes, Christmas is truely a wonderful time of year.........And now, my favorite song is "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU!"

  This past week I have also been doing some crafts, and feel peaceful to get involved doing that.....As my Christmas gifts to my sister, aunt, niece, and a the friend who drives me to see Jimmy, i have painted 'sun-catchers."  I enjoy doing that, as they are so colorful, and it means more to give someone something you made yourself.  ..............I plan to start crocheting again , soon, and teach myself to knit (did it many years ago)........

  i SAW jIMMY CARTER on The Larry King show, yesterday, and he really influenced me alot........He has written around 16 books......He gets up early and writes om the computer, and then he loves to do wood-working, and has started painting too, with acrylics.....and he has such a strong marriage with Rosalyn.  When I spoke to my Jimmy tonite, he mentioned hearing the show on radio....he likes Carter very much, too......We are on the same wave-length, even seperated by 120 miles..........

  My story and pix of the cats is now out on the newstand....."TRUE LOVE MAGAZINE,"  JANUARY 2005 ISSUE....in the "pet shop."....misty and Jimbolook really great!......and I even get paid a small sum for that...$50.00!....................This week I sent out 2 more stories, and I have a few more I want to do!....The stories are always in my head and I just can't rest until I type them out!................Jimmy is in the process of contacting publishers for the book I have written...he says it is time now, to do that.............

Well, thank you all for reading my journal.....It is not easy to be a prisoner's wife. We create a special little world around us.....let us stick together..................FRAN