Wednesday, February 16, 2005

some thoughts

ANOTHER DAY HAS COME AND GONE.....

...AND OF COURSE, I SIT HERE AS USUAL, AND MISS JIMMY.....

...THE NIGHTS ARE THE WORST...AS THE HOUSE BECOMES QUIET AND LONELY...

OUR LAST CALL WAS AT 7:30 PM....

I WATCH TV, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, AND TRY TO GET INTERESTED IN SOME SHOWS....I ALWAYS LIKE "AMERICAN IDOL."

TODAY ON OPRAH, WAS THE WIDOW OF CHRIS REEVES...SHE SAID SOME GREAT THINGS, THAT HIT HOME WITH ME............ONE THING SHE SAID, CAN ACTUALLY PERTAIN TO EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD......SHE SAID THAT HER WAY OF LIFE WITH CHRISTOPHER BECAME A NORMAL LIFE TO THEM......OTHERS MAY HAVE VIEWED HER LIFE AS ABNORMAL, LIVING WITH A QUADRAPLEGIC........BUT FOR THEM, LIFE BECAME NORMAL.............IN THE SAME WAY, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY, MY LIFE, AS A PRISONER'S WIFE HAS BECOME 'NORMAL" FOR ME......FOR US.  WE ARE STILL A "FAMILY," DESPITE PRISON WALLS.....WE STILL FUNCTION AS A FAMILY....DESPITE PRISON WALLS.  JIMMY AND I STAY CONNECTED, THROUGH THE PHONE AND MAIL.  HE WAKES ME UP IN THE MORNING WITH A PHONE CALL, AND HE SAYS GOOD-NIGHT TO ME AT NIGHT WITH A PHONE CALL.......I STILL VIEW MYSELF AS VERY MUCH MARRIED........THROUGHOUT THE DAY, WE DISCUSS ON THE PHONE THINGS AND ISSUES ABOUT OUR HOUSEHOLD...........I MAKE SURE I CARRY THE CORDLESS PHONE WHEN OUTSIDE, AND THE CELL PHONE WHEN I GO SHOPPING........EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, WE ARE CONNECTED AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.

YESTERDAY, AT THE SHOPPING MALL, I WAS TALKING TO A WOMAN WHO WAS 90 YEARS OLD...SHE DID NOT LOOK A DAY OVER 60...MAKE-UP AND HAIR DONE...BACK FROM A CRUISE LAST WEEK IN THE CARRIBEAN....HER HUSBAND HAD DIED LAST YEAR........THEY HAD BEEN MARRIED 66 YEARS........STILL DEDICATED AND DEVOTED TO HIM IN DEATH, SHE SAID SHE PRAYED TO HIM EACH NIGHT AND DISCUSSED THINGS WITH HIM.......SHE HAD A SMALL SHRINE TO HIM, AND SAID SHE WOULD NEVER THINK OF MARRYING AGAIN......THIS WOMAN WAS SO VIBRANT AND YOUNG LOOKING.......NAILS MANICURED...WEARING A BEAUTIFUL RED DRESS...TALL AND NICE FIGURE...SHE WAS INCREDIBLE.................I TOLD HER MY HUSBAND WAS IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE...SHE WAS A LITTLE SHOCKED, AND WANTED TO KNOW HOW I SURVIVED ON MY OWN.............I TRIED TO EXPLAIN, THAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME 'NORMAL' HAVING A HUSBAND IN PRISON...A HUSBAND THAT BELONGS TO THE STATE AND LIVES IN AN INSTITUTION...........FOR US, THAT HAS BECOME'NORMAL' AS SHOCKING AS IT MAY SEEM TO OTHERS.............NORMAL , OF COURSE, UNTIL HE IS RELEASED , AND COMES BACK HOME.........IN THE CHRIS REEVES HOUSEHOLD, IT WAS NORMAL FOR THE SCHEDULE TO REVOLVE AROUND HIM..........FOR ME, IT IS NORMAL FOR MY SCHEDULE TO REVOLVE AROUND JIMMY'S CALLS AND MAIL..........THE PICTURES HE DRAWS FOR ME, THE CARDS HE SENDS...THE LOVE LETTERS........AND SO, LIFE IS SO VERY STRANGE...........I THINK IT IS ALL ABOUT "SURVIVAL,"..........AND LEARNING TO CREATE YOUR OWN EXISTENCE AROUND YOU.........ONE THING I KNOW, AND HAVE ALWAYS SAID, 'NOT EVEN PRISON WALLS CAN COME BETWEEN THE LOVE WE HAVE FOR EACH OTHER."............AND WITH OUR UNIQUE MINDS AND PERSONALITIES, JIMMY AND I HAVE INDEED CREATED A WAY TO 'MAKE OUR LOVE SURVIVE."................AND LIKE I ALWAYS SAY...IT'S NOT HARD WHEN YOU ARE 'IN LOVE' WITH THE OTHER PERSON, BECAUSE THEN, IT BECOMES A NATURAL EXISTENCE AND STATE...........

JIMMY WILL START HIS NEW JOB NEXT MONDAY....IT IS AS A 'QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTOR" IN A TURKEY PROCESSING PLANT..............THESE PAST FEW DAYS HE HASN'T FELT TOO WELL...WITH A COLD...SO HE HAS TAKEN SOME TIME OFF FROM THE KITCHEN WORK.....JIMMY IS A STRONGE MAN AND RARILY GETS SICK, BUT WHEN HE DOES, MY BABY MUST REST IN ORDER TO RECUPERATE.........HE IS A HARD-WORKING MAN.......

GOOD-NIGHT FOR NOW....................FRAN

4 comments:

sugar1337 said...

You have to find things to help you cope no matter what your life situation is.  

vchavez19 said...

crystalmoon222 i really liked what you had to say. you sound like a wonderful person and  i am interested in emailing you to share my story about my boyfriend who just got sent to jail january2005 and has to serve  3yrs in state prison. i hope to hear from you my email is vcchavez@hotmail.com

i found your article here at this internet site   http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Love-Can-Survive-Prison-Walls&type=sv&id=14033
i was truly uplifted and inspiyered by what you had you say
thank you for sharing those wonderful little tips
your article placed some light in my dark night

hope to hear from you
good night

p00kie2323 said...

i am so glad he got his job will he start weekends coming home now?  i know you can not wait for that day though you are always so inspiring to others keep you head high as you have

ginskia said...

Hi Fran,

Me again!!!   I am still mad about Chris Reeve's death.  I was sure he was going to walk again and when hubby told me that Sunday while I was still sleeping that he died, I thought the media was just playing a cruel joke.  Yes, I had a crush on him back in the 80s.  You are the first in J-Land I have told about this.

Let me just state as to what is "normal"?  A lot of people would not consider our house situation as being normal since hubby does not work and I do.  However, to us it is a way of life.  There are a lot of things I can tell you that goes on in our house that is different from most people's house.  I however am not phased by it since I knew what I was getting into.

What really matters is the love between a man and a woman and that there is a very strong connection.  God joined you and Jimmy.  Nobody can break that, not even the state nor any government.

You and Jimmy talk many times a day and always send cards and care packages to one another.  You are not seeing anyone else.  You are sitting waiting for him.  I say you both are very devoted to each other.  You are more devoted and loyal to one another than a lot of couples who are both in society and the husband works and the wife stays home.  

I use to know these wives of execs in my last job who had very weak marriages.  Niether you nor I want to be in their situations.

Well, I have rattled too much, but we love you.

Hugs,
Anita