WELL IT'S SPRING, BUT IT'S AS RAINY AS CAN BE...ALSO THE DAYS ARE DARK AND DULL...OH WELL!....BUT THE TEMPS ARE AROUND 50 AND 60....THAT'S HOW IT IS HERE IN SOUTH JERSEY!....I KIND OF CAN'T WAIT TIL MEMORIAL DAY, WHEN THE BOARDWALK OPENS UP, AND I CAN GO AND SIT THERE, WITH THE OCEAN BREEZE AND EAT CLAMS ON THE HALF SHELL! JUST LOVE THEM! ONE DOZEN ONLY OPENS MY APPETITE FOR THEM. BY THE SECOND DOZEN, I'M REALLY INTO THEM. BY THE THIRD DOZEN, I'VE STARTED TO HAVE MY FILL!!!.....JIMMY DOES NOT LIKE SEAFOOD OR FISH, SO HE EATS PIZZA!........THEN I GO TO THE CANDY STORE TO BUY SOME SALT WATER TAFFY. I USED TO BRING BOXES OF SALT-WATER TAFFY BACK TO MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS IN VEGAS, AND THEY USED TO GO CRAZY OVER IT!.............WELL, I GOT UP EARLY TODAY , 4 AM AND I'VE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED ALOT. I PREPARED 2 LETTERS JIMMY WANTED ME TO WRITE . ONE TO THE SENATOR, AND ONE TO THE CONGRESSMAN (not about prison). THAT'S HOW MY JIMMY IS! HE LOVES POLITICS/POLITICIANS, AND LIKES TO GO RIGHT TO THE SOURCE. ALSO, I HAVE PREPARED, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, OUR INCOME TAX. I DID IT ON-LINE WITH E-FILE. THERE'S ALWAYS NEW THINGS TO LEARN AND DO IN LIFE!...............SO TODAY, WHAT WILL I DO?........RUN ERRANDS......POST OFFICE, LIBRARY, PHARMACY, FOOD STORE......UMMM AND YES, A BOTTLE OF WINE FOR ME!....IN LAS VEGAS, IT'S SO EASY TO BUY LIQUOR /BEER IN THE FOODSTORE. HERE IN JERSEY, YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE "LIQUOR STORE!"....WELL. I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU ALL AS I GO ABOUT MY ERRANDS, TODAY.
Monday, March 29, 2004
I HAVE A BOX FULL OF LOVE LETTERS THAT JIMMY HAS SENT ME THIS PAST YEAR. THE ONE I RECEIVED TODAY, I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU (JIMMY GAVE ME HIS APPROVAL!) I FEEL THIS LETTER MAY HELP PEOPLE. IF WE COULD ONLY HELP BUT ONE PERSON, OUR MISSION IS ACCOMPLISHED. IF WE CAN SPREAD LOVE AND DEVOTION, THEN WE WILL BE HAPPY. KEEP IN MIND THAT THE DIVORCE RATE IN AMERICA IS SOMETHING LIKE 50%...THAT IS WAY TOO HIGH!!!......SO TONIGHT, WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP NEXT TO YOUR SPOUSE, FRIEND, OR LOVER, JUST REMEMBER THESE WORDS, WRITTEN BY A MAN WHO IS INCARCERATED FOR 1 YEAR. A MAN THAT HAS NO PHYSICAL TOUCH WITH HIS WOMAN ...HIS WIFE FOR 1 YEAR. LIKEWISE, I HAVE HAD NO PHYSICAL TOUCH FOR 1 YEAR WITH MY HUSBAND, LET ALONE ANYONE ELSE, AS I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME ALONE. .....SO DO ME A FAVOR. GIVE YOUR LOVED ONE AN EXTRA SPECIAL KISS AND HUG. FEEL BLESSED BY YOUR UNION. ....AND WHEN I LOOK UP TO THE NIGHT SKY TONITE, THE FIRST STAR I SEE....I WILL KNOW WITHIN ME, THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN THAT EXTRA THOUGHT AND KISS TO YOUR MATE....AND THERE'S A LITTLE MORE "LOVE" IN OUR WORLD....OUR UNIVERSE, TONIGHT.
DEAR FRAN...MY DEAREST WIFE...........................IT'S BEEN 1 YEAR SINCE I HAVE BEEN IN PRISON....365 DAYS. 365 NIGHTS AWAY FROM YOUR HUGS AND KISSES. THE THINGS IN OUR MARRIAGE THAT I TOOK FOR GRANTED...SLEEPING WITH YOU...WALKING HAND IN HAND...COOKING FOR YOU...GIVING YOU A MANICURE...BRUSHING YOUR BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HAIR...SIMPLE THINGS.......365 DAYS AND NIGHTS OF NOT SEEING YOU SLEEP....NOT WATCHING YOU BREATHE......MANY YEARS AGO I HEARD A BRUCE SPRINGSTEIN SONG CALLED "THE RIVER"...AND HE SINGS ABOUT HOW HIS WIFE'S BREATHING AS HE HELD HER, BROUGHT HIM JOY. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IT THEN, BUT I DO NOW THAT I AM MARRIED TO YOU. ..I LOVE YOU AND NEED YOU, SO VERY, VERY MUCH. LOVE, YOUR JIMMY
And so, I sat in silence, looking at the 4 walls, after Jimmy left. I didn't even cry, until days or weeks later. I kept the house silent. Prince sat on the covered front porch, and rarely came in the house. His appetite diminished. He was depressed. After all, his "ALPHA" had left. He had seen Jimmy walk out the front door. And now, Prince's role was to protect me. And that's just what he did. And to this day, no one can get within 5 ft. of me. He is growling and ready to attack. This is actually a good thing for me, a woman living alone. And then, I started lashing out at Jimmy. Writing him how much I hated him. I never actually hated him. I just needed someone to lash out to. And on the phone, he would say, "IT'S OK, Fran, you have every right to hate me. I've done a terrible thing to you. But I still love you, no matter what terrible things you may say." And terrible, they were. I used every curse word there was. Jimmy always says, i have the face of an angel, but can tell someone off in a minute, if i need to. And so, Jimmy became like a father to me...listening to me, as I cried and carried on...he stood there strong, like a steel wall, comforting me that my emotions were normal, and he would help me thru it. And so time went on. I took control of the house and myself. I started losing weight. I controlled my diet. I lost a total of 70lbs. in 7 months. That is really a lot, I've read. It is almost impossible to do so fast. I maintaained my weight thru the winter, and now have lost 5 more, making it 75 lbs. I catgorized everything in the house. I kept strict records of everything. Every piece of paper, mail, receipt, was filed away. Today I must have 30 files here, 5 boxes. Every photo was put in albums. We have around 30 photo albums. I have kept in boxes every letter, card and newspaper article Jimmy sent me. I sang and my voice improved, and I recorded 15 tapes of my voice......I sing and talk to Jimmy. I began to write and send in stories and poems for publication. I also like to walk outside.And so, that is how I've spent my "TIME" this past year....And , if you haven't already guessed, I love my JIMMY more than anything!
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Yes, one entire revolution has ocurred.You must be wondering exactly what I am talking about.The earth has made one entire journey around the sun, since Jimmy left.That is, it is exactly 1 full year that Jimmy left the house.Jimmy left on March 28, 2003. We stood at the door, I faced him, and we kissed.Then, I laid my head forward on his chest.Then, I said,"This is all so surrreal."And he left.And yes it was surreal. I was in some other realm.I was not in the present dimension of time.I was entirely alone.No one called.No one was with me.Jimmy went alone to the court, and then to jail. Later that evening he called me,from a temporary waiting area.no beds available, he slept on the floor. And I just sat in my chair, near the bed. I looked at the 4 walls.Emotionless and shocked.Jimmy had predicted I would be like that for at least 2 weeks.And I was.Alone, no one tried to help me. My main concern was to just walk to the kitchen to feed Prince, Misty, and Jimbo, each day.I stopped eating. And when I saw the same half can of diet coke sitting by my bedside, each day, I realized that I had stopped drinking too. I hung on, cause I had my babies here with me.And the second day, a terrible storm blew through the house.a strong wind, like a tornado.the walls and roof rattled.And I just sat here, and trembled.No radio, no tv.only quietness.and then I'd sleep.And then a few days later, Jimmy was in some very small cell with another guy.he was in lock-down 23 hrs a day. His cell was smaller than my bathroom. I could not imagine my active man locked into such a small place.so the days passed. ..he went to an evaluation center, and then to "THE FARM," where he is now. And now, one full year has passed. On a more positive note, we romantically spoke today, how in a few weeks he'll go to the half-way house.How we can meet and kiss and have lunch together!And thus, such is life.By the way, my favorite tv program has always been "Oz," since it came on many yrs ago. Jimmy always told me, prison is not as they portray it on that show. I watched it, and started feeling nauseated.the clanging of the bars.It made me physically sick, and I turned it off. I said to Jimmy, 'when you come home, please lets fill our lives with artwork,cafes, cultural events.I need to forget about prisons! And now, I'm going to watch my favorite show."THE SOPRANOS."
Sunday, March 21, 2004
JIMMY JUST LOVED TO BUY ME BARBIE DOLLS. EVERYDAY, I'D WAKE UP WITH A NEW BARBIE DOLL NEXT TO ME!....I LITERALLY HAVE HUNDREDS!...THEY ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL!...SOME ARE COLLECTOR EDITIONS. I HAVE WEDDING BARBIE, REPANZUL WITH THE TOWER. ONE LOOKS LIKE IT'S FROM DR. ZHIVAGO, WITH FUR TRIMMED HAT AND COAT..CHRISTMAS AND HOLIDAY EDITIONS.......I HAVE HER RED CONVERTIBLE, AND SEVERAL ROOMS.......I HAVE MANY KELLY DOLLS, WHICH IS HER LITTLE SISTER.........I HAVE KEN DOLLS.........HORSE AND CARRIAGES. WE HAVE THEM ALL DISPLAYED ON SHELVES IN MY HOUSE HERE. I STILL HAVE MY VINTAGE DOLLS FROM 1960..THE ORIGINAL BARBIE WITH PLATINUM BUBBLE CUT HAIRDO...ALSO KEN AND SKIPPER, ALONG WITH A BLUE CARRYING CASE AND LOADS OF CLOTHES AND ACCESSORIES. I BELONG TO THE BARBIE DOLL FANCLUB, AND GET THE MAGAZINE. SOME BOXES I OPENED, BUT MOST I'VE KEPT UNOPENED. THE BARBIE DOLL INDUSTRY IS VERY BIG AMONG ADULTS AS WELL AS KIDS. I ALSO HAVE HUNDREDS OF STUFFED ANIMALS THAT JIMMY BOUGHT ME....I ALSO HAVE SEVERAL HEIRLOOM DOLLS........A VICTORIAN GIRL, A BRIDE, A FARMGIRL.........A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL DOLL, NAMED CLARISSA, WITH LONG HAIR AND RED DRESS THAT IS SO LARGE, I HAVE HER SITTING IN A CHAIR...SHE IS A "PARLOR DOLL." AND THEN, I MUSTN'T FORGET "CHISTINA," WHO IS A BABY DOLL WHO LOOKS LIFELIKE.....I HAVE SEVERAL OUTFITS FOR HER. SHE ALSO SITS ON THE COUCH. IF YOU THINK I'M NUTS ABOUT MY DOLLS, JUST WATCH "QVC," TO SEE THAT DOLL-COLLECTING IS A BIG THING AMONG WOMEN!
Saturday, March 20, 2004
MARRIED LIFE WITH JIMMY WAS ANYTHING BUT UNUSUAL!ALONG WITH THE USUAL BUFFETS, RESTAURANTS ,SHOWS AND CASINOS, JIMMY INTRODUCED ME TO A WHOLE NEW WAY OF LIFE! LUNCH WAS AT THE COUNTRY CLUB, WITH THE GOVERNOR.WE SAT OVERLOOKING THE GOLF COURSE, WITH 3 ATTORNEY FRIENDS, WHO ARE WELL-KNOWN IN LAS VEGAS.OF COURSE, I WAS FRIGHTENED, BUT JIMMY MADE ME FEEL AT EASE, AS HE IS SO WELL-SPOKEN. THEN WE WERE INVITED TO THE "JUDGES OF LAS VEGAS COCKTAIL PARTY." OF COURSE, JIMMY BOUGHT ME SHOPPING FOR A NEW BLACK SILK OUTFIT AND HANDBAG.IT WAS ALL SO DREAMY AND MAGICALJIMMY WAS A FORMER REAL ESTATE LAWYER....HE WORKED FOR A TOP FIRM IN MANHATTEN YEARS AGO.AND HAD HIS OWN PRACTICE. SO HE KNEW REAL ESTATE AT THE BACK OF HIS HAND. SO, HE LOVINGLY BROUGHT ME AROUND TO LOOK AT REAL ESTATE.HOTELS,CASINOS. NOW, I'M TALKING ABOUT BUYING THESE PLACES.BUSINESS MEETINGS.PEOPLE FLEW IN TO MEET US. MOST PEOPLE GO TO MOUNT CHARLSTON AND STAY IN A ROOM.WE TOURED THE PLACE!THE KITCHEN, THE BOILER ROOM, THE FREEZER, THE PANTRY!THE SCARED LOOK ON THE FACE OF A COOK WHEN WE WALKED IN! WE SAT AND TALKED TO THE MANAGER IN THE WEDDING RECEPTION ROOM FOR HOURS. WE MET WITH ONE OF THE RICHEST MEN IN THE WORLD.A BILLIONAIRE. WE WENT TO HIS OFFIC(ESTATE),LOCATED ON TROP AND EASTERN.NEXT TO MARIE CALLENDER'S. MY HEART WAS ALWAYS BEATING SO FAST. I AM A SHY SORT OF PERSON. BUT JIMMY HELD MY HAND AT ALL TIMES, AND HE JUST KNEW, AUTOMATICALLY HOW TO HANDLE EACH SITUATION. I WAS THE QUIET WIFE THAT EVERYONE ALWAYS LIKED. WE WENT TO LOOK AT GAS STATIONS, CONVENIENCE STORES.JIMMY WAS BUYING WHAT WAS ALMOST AN ENTIRE TOWN, ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF LAS VEGAS....HE ALWAYS SPOKE TO THE OWNER, WHO WAS A MILLIONAIRE THAT LIVED IN MALIBU.WE LOOKED AT SOME OF THE CASINOS/HOTELS. HE WANTED TO BUY ME A NEW HOME, SO WE WENT TO "TURNBERRY ESTATES"NEAR THE HILTON. IN THOSE PLACES YOU USUALLY NEED A CREDIT/SECURITY CHECK TO GET IN. BUT WE GOT RIGHT IN. THE CONDO JIMMY WANTED TO BUY WAS $2 MILLION.OVER 5000 SQUARE FT.5 BED/5 BATH...PRIVATE ELEVATOR.OVERLOOKING THE MTS. AND THE STRIP, ON THE 12TH FLOOR, ACCESS TO YOUR OWN LIMOSEINE.AND THEN OF COURSE HE BROUGHT ME TO BUY A JAQUAR.HE ALWAYS SAID,"HIS BABY HAD TO HAVE THE BEST!"SO THAT WAS LIFE IN LAS VEGAS FOR ME! WHEN I FINISH WRITING MY BOOK, IT WILL HAVE ALL THE DETAILS IN IT!OF COURSE, HERE I SIT ALONE IN NEW JERSEY, IN THE COLD, WITH A HUSBAND IN PRISON!.....(oh well! such is life, I guess!..smile)
Friday, March 19, 2004
WELL, HERE IT IS ALMOST SPRING, AND I WOKE UP TO A BIG SNOWFALL.IT'S GREY AND DARK OUT AND SNOWING! EVERYTHING IS COVERED HERE IN SOUTH JERSEY! JIMMY IS ON THE LIST FOR HALF-WAY HOUSES. HIS FELLOW INMATE ,WHOM HE IS FRIENDS WITH, WILL BE GOING IN 2 WEEKS. JIMMY KNOWS HE WILL GO AFTER HIM. SO THAT MEANS IN ABOUT 3 WEEKS OR SO. ALSO HIS ATTORNEY CALLED ME YESTERDAY AND HE IS GOING TO SEE JIMMY, AND HAS SPOKEN WITH ISP (HOUSEARREST)...SO, THINGS ARE MOVING ALONG!THE MOST BLESSED THING HAPPENED YESTERDAY. I HAD SENT JIMMY'S "JUDGE" A COPY OF "ANGELS ON EARTH" MAGAZINE , TELLING HIM ABOUT JIMMY'S STORY, "LUCKY," AND HOW HE GOT HIS FIRST STORY PUBLISHED NOW THAT HE IS IN PRISON. THE JUDGE SENT ME THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LETTER IN REPLY.I AM READY TO FRAME IT! IT IS HIS LETTERHEAD, AND THE "SEAL OF THE SUPERIOR COURT OF NJ." HE LOVED JIMMY'S STORY, AND SO HAPPY HE IS WRITING. HE IS PLEASED THAT HE IS A GOOD CITIZEN AND HAS A LOT TO OFFER THE WORLD.HE BLESSED OUR MARRIAGE, AND TO PERSIST EVEN THROUGH TOUGH TIMES.. JUST A BEAUTIFUL, SPIRITUAL LETTER!.....AND FROM A JUDGE! WHAT A WONDERFUL, MOST BLESSED MAN HE IS!WE FEEL TOTALLY ELATED AND BLESSED..AND NOW, ON WITH OUR LAS VEGAS STORY.AFTER MARRIAGE, I CONTINUED TO WORK AS A REGISTERED NURSE IN A LOCAL HOSPITAL. I HAD WORKED AS A NURSE SINCE 1973, IN HOSPITALS. BUT NOW, IT WAS THE HARDEST THING TO LEAVE JIMMY'S SIDE. HE WAS WITH ME EVERY MINUTE,GETTING ME UP FOR WORK, HELPING ME GET DRESSED, WALKING ME OUT TO THE CAR, WITH A LUNCH-BAG FULL OF FOOD HE HAD PREPARED! "IF YOU CAN'T EAT IT ALL, JUST SHARE IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS,"HE WOULD SAY.WE WERE CONNECTED BY OUR CELL PHONES ALL NITE. HE WOULD NOT SLEEP TILL 3AM, AFTER I TOOK MY BREAK.THAN, AT 8AM, HE WAS STANDING BY THE KITCHEN DOOR, WAITING FOR ME.AS I FELL INTO HIS LOVING ARMS, HE HAD BREAKFAST READY AND WAITING. THEN, UPSTAIRS WE WENT, TO GO TO SLEEP. THIS WENT ON DAY IN AND DAY OUT, FOR 1 YR. SOMETIMES HE'D COME UP TO SEE ME ON MY FLOOR, CARRYING PIZZA FOR EVERYONE. ONCE, WE HAD A POT LUCK THAT I WASN'T AWARE OF. I CALLED JIMMY. IN 20 MINUTES HE WAS AT THE HOSPITAL WITH STRAWBERRY CAKE AND ICE CREAM, FOR DESSERT! AND SO IT BECAME HARDER AND HARDER AS I WORKED, TO BE SEPERATED FROM MY MAN FOR 13 HOURS .AND SO I WORKED UNTIL 1 YEAR LATER..THE WORK OF A NURSE IS VERY DIFFICULT, ESPECIALLY WITH THE NURSING SHORTAGE.EVERYDAY HE SAID, "IT WON'T BE LONG, FRAN, UNTIL YOU WILL NOT WORK.
Friday, March 12, 2004
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
TODAY JIMMY TOLD ME HE HAS GOTTEN THE PRINTED LIST, AND HE IS ON IT,TO GO TO THE HALF-WAY HOUSE. I'M KIND OF EXCITED! BUT STILL, WE DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL BE. THERE HAS BEEN A 'BACK-UP" IN THE SYSTEM, SO THEY ARE WAITING FOR PEOPLE TO LEAVE BEFORE THEY CAN PLACE THEM.IT IS A PROBLEM IN OUR COUNTRY.PRISONS ARE OVERCROWDED. THEY LOCK UP EVERYONE FOR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.PRISONS ARE FILLED UP WITH MEN WHO DON'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT. THERE ARE AROUND 2.2 MILLION PEOPLE IN PRISON IN OUR COUNTRY. AND NOW, WITH MARTHA STEWART GOING THERE, IT SEEMS QUITE FASHIONABLE, AND THE 'THING TO DO!".WELL, BACK TO "OUR LOVE STORY." THE DAY AFTER WE CAME HOME FROM PALM SPRINGS, JIMMY TOLD ME HE'D BE UP EARLY TAKING CARE OF HIS BUSINESS BACK IN NEW JERSEY. SO SURE ENOUGH, IT WAS STILL DARK OUT, AND I COULD HEAR HIM DOWNSTAIRS IN THE KITCHEN, TALKING ON HIS CELL. WITH THE 3 HOUR TIME DIFFERENCE, LIFE WAS AWAKE BACK IN JERSEY. IN MY USUAL LAID- BACK WAY, I CAME DOWNSTAIRS AT 10 A.M. JIMMY HAD BREAKFAST MADE FOR ME. HE WAS ALREADY IN CONTROL OF THE WHOLE KITCHEN AND THE HOUSEHOLD. I JUST LOVED IT! WE WENT OUT TO THE CAR TO GO SHOPPING, TO HOME DEPOT. I REMEMBER LOOKING OVER AT HIM AS WE SAT IN THE CAR. HE RATTLED OFF A LIST OF THINGS WE WOULD DO TODAY. I SAID ,"JIMMY, YOU ARE IN FAST MOTION. YOU DO EVERYTHING QUICK, AND I DO EVERYTHING AT A SLOWER PACE. IS THIS GOING TO WORK BETWEEN US?" HE SAID,"FRAN, YOU ARE PERFECT. I DO NOT WANT YOU TO CHANGE. DO THINGS AS YOU NORMALLY DO THEM. I NEED SOMEONE TO "SLOW ME DOWN A LITTLE. I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE." SO THERE WAS THE START OF OUR LIFE AS "MAN AND WIFE." AND TO THIS DAY, WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT BETWEEN US...A MERGING OF 2 BODIES, SOULS, AND MINDS.AND WE JUST LOVE IT! IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS JIMMY HAD TOTALLY RENOVATED THE HOUSE! THE HOUSE WAS PAINTED, WALL TO WALL CARPET THROWN OUT,TILES INSTALLED THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE, WITH CERAMIC TILES IN THE KITCJEN. HE MIRRORED THE LIVING ROOM AND BEDROOM. HE BOUGHT NEW FURNITURE.BLACK LEATHER FURNITURE FOR THE LIVING ROOM, AND A CALIFORNIA KING SIZE BED, WITH MIRRORS AND LIGHTING. I NEEDED A STOOL TO CLIMB UP INTO THAT BED! WE ARE BIG PEOPLE, AND I SLEEP WITH ABOUT 10 PILLOWS, LOADS OF STUFFED ANIMALS AND A FEW DOLLS, 2 CATS AND A 50-LB DOG.......WELL, THERE WAS STILL ROOM LEFT OVER! JIMMY WANTED TO MAKE SURE THE "MARRIAGE BED" WAS JUST PERFECT!.........AND IT WAS! (smile)
Sunday, March 7, 2004
Friday, March 5, 2004
I'M SITTING HERE, WORKING ON THE COMPUTER, WITH THE T. V. ON.I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT! THE FACILITY MARTHA STEWART WILL BE GOING TO,IN DANBURY, CONNETICUT.IT IS A MINIMUM SECURITY PRISON,JUST LIKE THE ONE JIMMY IS IN!IT IS A VERY OPEN, SOCIAL TYPE PLACE, NO LOCKED DOORS, NO BARBED WIRE. EVERYONE WORKS(JIMMY IS THE CLERK FOR THE SCHOOL TEACHER FOR GED).MOST WORK IN THE KITCHEN OR MOPPING FLOORS, ETC. JIMMY MOPS AROUND HIS OWN BED EVERYDAY (HE IS A CLEANLINESS FREAK, ANYHOW).THERE ARE 75 INMATES SLEEPING IN AN OPENED ROOM, LIKE A DORM. JIMMY IS LUCKY, AND SHARES A COTTAGE WITH 3 OTHERS. THEY SLEEP IN BUNK BEDS. THEY HAVE "COUNT" 4 TIMES A DAY.THE INMATES GO AND STAND BY THEIR BED. THEY ARE COUNTED TO MAKE SURE NO ONE HAS ESCAPED. DOORS ARE KEPT OPENED. JIMMY GOES OUTSIDE TO WALK , AS MUCH AS HE WANTS.NO LOCKED CELLS.NO BARS.IT IS LIKE A "BOYS SCHOOL".I ALWAYS JOKE WITH JIMMY THAT HE IS IN SCHOOL.IT IS A VERY DISCIPLINED ENVIRONMENT. THEY CAN BUY SNACKS FROM THE CANTEEN,LIKE SOUP, POPCORN,TUNA FISH.THE MEALS ARE VERY SCARCE, AND THE FELLOWS ARE HUNGRY. TODAY, FOR DINNER THEY ATE A SCOOP OF NOODLES, WITH MEAT ON TOP OF IT THAT LOOKED LIKE ALPO DOG FOOD, 2 SLICES OF BREAD, AND FRUIT COCKTAIL...I JUST WANTED TO CRY, CAUSE JIMMY LOVES FOOD.THEY GIVE THEIR SPAGHETTI TO JIMMY, AND JIMMY, WHO IS A GOOD COOK, "FIXES UP" THEIR FOOD FOR THEM...HE RECOOKS IT IN THE MICROWAVE WITH SOME SPICES, ETC. HE IS LIKE THEIR "DADDY." HE IS A WISE MAN, OLDER THAN THE MAJORITY, SO EVERYONE COMES TO HIM FOR ADVICE, ETC. JIMMY IS A LEADER, EVEN IN PRISON. YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE THAT TRAIT AWAY FROM HIM.YOU CAN BUY A TV OR RADIO. JIMMY HAS CHOSEN A RADIO WITH HEADPHONES. HE WOULD RATHER READ AND WRITE WHILE IN PRISON, INSTEAD OF GETTING TAKEN UP WATCHING TV(DOESN'T HAVE CABLE, ANYHOW!) .JIMMY LIKES TO LISTEN TO TALK SHOWS. HE TAKES LOTS OF BOOKS OUT OF THE PRISON LIBRARY.MY JIMMY READ ALMOST ALL OF JAMES MICHENERS NOVEL WHILE THERE.AND YOU KNOW HOW BIG THOSE BOOKS ARE! HE HAS THE"WALL STREET JOURNAL" DELIVERED TO HIM EVERYDAY, ALONG WITH SEVERAL MAGAZINES. HE SPENDS TIME IN THE LAW LIBRARY, HELPING OTHERS. HE IS KNOWN AS "THE JAILHOUSE LAWYER," .HIS INTELLIGENCE IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT TURNS ME ON. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A STRONG, POWERFUL, INTELLIGENT MAN!AND THAT IS MY JIMMY!
THE NEXT DAY,SUNDAY, APRIL 29, 2001, DAWNED BRIGHT AND SUNNY, AS EVERYDAY(just about), DOES IN THE DESERT. AT 7AM YOU SEE AN ORANGE SKY AS THE SUN RISES ABOVE THE MOUNTAINS.THE RAYS OF THE SUN ARE INTENSE AND STRONG IN THE DESERT, EVEN AT 7AM.THOSE OF US THAT LIVE THERE ACTUALLY CRAVE THE STRONG RAYS...THE HEAT TO WARM OUR BODY.AND SO, TODAY, WE WERE GETTING MARRIED!WE GOT UP AND WENT TO A BREAKFAST BUFFET ON THE STRIP.JIMMY'S 2 FRIENDS WERE WITH US,WHOM I'LL CALL L AND S, I TOOK A LIKING TO L AND S..THEY WERE FUN AND HAPPY PEOPLE! S WANTED TO GET A TATOO, SO WE DROVE THERE AND HE GOT ONE! THEN, JIMMY AND I LEFT THE 2 AND DROVE DOWNTOWN , ALONG LAS VEGAS BLD. TO GET OUR MARRIAGE LICENSE. IT WAS A BUSY PLACE SO IT TOOK A COUPLE OF HOURS. EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY SECOND, JIMMY WAS HOLDING MY HAND, OPENING CAR DOORS,OPENING EVERY DOOR. HE TOUCHED ME EVERY SECOND WE WERE TOGETHER, AS IF I WOULD DISSAPEAR INTO THIN AIR. HE LOVES TO TALK TO PEOPLE, SO HE WOULD TELL EVERYONE THAT WE WERE GETTING MARRIED! I REMEMBER , THE SKY WAS SO BLUE, THE SUN SO BRIGHT...EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT WITH THE WORLD! WE WENT HOME. I RESTED. JIMMY SAID,"FRAN, WE'LL GO RIGHT BEFORE MIDNIGHT TO GET MARRIED. I LIKE TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY IN LIFE."SO AROUND 11PM, WE PROCEEDED DOWNTOWN TO THE JUSTICE OF PEACE OFFICE. JIMMY HAD A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS FOR ME. L AND S AND V(THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR), WERE WITH US. IT WAS A WOMAN THAT MARRIED US..IT WAS A CUTE PLACE, THAT THEY HAD SET UP LIKE A CHAPEL. ACTUALLY, IT HAD A VERY SPIRITUAL, ESOTERIC FEELING IN THE ROOM. YOU COULD FEEL THE PRESENCE OF LOVE THERE. THAT MANY PEOPLE BEFORE US HAD STOOD THERE TO PROFESS THEIR LOVE AND SAY THEIR VOWS.....AND SO, IN A FEW MINUTES WE SAID..."I DO.".............WE WERE SO HAPPY........I WAS WALKING ON AIR.......I THINK I WAS ACTUALLY HAVING AN "OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE!"......I JUST WAS NOT WITHIN MYSELF!...........AND SO WE WENT HOME. WE REALLY WANTED TO JUST BE ALONE!......L AND S REALLY JUST WANTED TO GO TO "THE STRIP!"............AND SO, EVERYBODY HAPPY, THE HOUSE QUIET. THE LIGHTS OUT, WE WENT UPSTAIRS TO BED............AND OH! ONE OTHER THING! PRINCE, MISTY AND JIMBO(our dog and 2 cats) WERE SO VERY HAPPY TO HAVE A WONDERFUL "DADDY!"
Thursday, March 4, 2004
FOR 6 WEEKS WE TALKED ON THE CELL PHONES..ROUND THE CLOCK. I GOT TO KNOW HIM REALLY BY HIS VOICE. WE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING. WE WENT WAY BACK TO OUR CHILHOODS.IT WAS STRANGE...WE WERE 2 YEARS APART IN AGE,BORN AND LIVED IN NEIGHBORING CITIES IN NEW JERSEY.SIMILAR UPBRINGINGS..ITALIAN HOUSEHOLD. BOTH COLLEGE EDUCATED AND PROFESSIONALS. IT WAS REALLY KIND OF SPOOKY. BUT TRUTHFULLY, I HAD PRAYED TO GOD ABOUT THIS, BEFORE I EVER KNEW HE EXISTED. I HAD ASKED GOD TO SEND ME SOMEONE LIKE JIMMY. AND SO, I DO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! AND POOFFFF, JIMMY APPEARED IN MY LIFE!!! SO, 6 WEEKS LATER, ON APRIL 28, JIMMY FLEW BACK TO LAS VEGAS. I BROUGHT A NEIGHBOR(FRIEND) WITH ME TO THE AIRPORT(IT WAS 11PM), A SATURDAY NITE..A HOT, DRY, TYPICAL DESERT NITE. JIMMY WAS THERE WITH 2 FREINDS FROM JERSEY..ONE WOULD BE OUR BEST MAN. FOR ME, IT WAS ALL KIND OF LIKE A DREAM. I HAD A VERY "AIRY FEELING." HE KISSED ME AND WE WENT TO MY CAR."COULD THIS BE HAPPENING! IS THIS FOR REAL!" WE WENT TO MY HOME, AND I HAD PREPARED LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOD!I KNEW I;D BE HAVING JIMMY AND 2 MALE GUESTS STAYING, AND I KNEW THEY WOULD BE HUNGRY! I HAD LOTS OF COLD-CUTS,SNACKS, THINGS LIKE THAT.JIMMY THEN PRESENTED ME A BEAUTIFUL PENDANT.IT WAS A CRYSTAL MOON,WHICH IS ALWAYS MY INSIGNIA.I ALWAYS WEAR IT AROUND MY NECK...THAT IS ME! CRYSTAL MOON! AND SO, WE ALL ATE AND DRANK SODA,EVERYONE HAPPY! THEN OUR NEIGHBOR FRIEND WENT HOME AND WE GAVE MY CAR TO JIMMY'S 2 FRIENDS. THEY WERE EXCITED TO GO TO THE STRIP! IT WAS WELL PAST MIDNIGHT. JIMMY AND I WENT UPSTAIRS TO BED. AFTRE ALL, TOMORROW WOULD BE A BUSY DAY...WE'D BE GETTING MARRIED!..SO UPSTAIRS WE WENT, HAND IN HAND. WE HAD A LOT OF TALKING TO DO BEFORE WE FELL INTO A BEAUTIFUL BLISSFUL SLEEP! YES, I DID SAY TALKING!........LOL
Tuesday, March 2, 2004
THE NEXT DAY WAS MARCH 17, 2001...ST. PAT'S DAY.WE DROVE INTO LAS VEGAS, WITH 2 CARS FOLLOWING, AS I LED.WE DROPPED EVERYBODY OFF AT THE BOULAVARD MALL, AND I TOOK JIMMY TO SHOW HIM MY HOME, AND TO MEET PRINCE , MISTY, AND JIMBO.HE WASN'T TOO HAPPY WITH PRINCE, AS PRINCE NEARLY ATTACKED HIM ON THE STAIRCASE! AFTERWARDS, THOUGH, PRINCE AND JIMMY FELL IN LOVE, AND JIMMY BECAME THE ALPHA. AFTER ABOUT AN HOUR, WE ALL PROCEEDED TO PAHRUMP,WITH ME LEADING. WE STOPPED AT TERRIBLE'S CASINO, AND HAD OUR FIRST CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE MEAL...THEN WE WENT BACK TO OUR MOTEL, AND AGAIN HAD ANOTHER MEAL OF CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE(THE FIRST TASTED BETTER, THOUGH).WE PLAYED IN THE CASINO.WE TALKED. EVERYBODY HAD A GREAT TIME.EVERY MOMENT, JIMMY AND I WERE FALLING DEEPER AND DEEPER IN LOVE.THE NEXT DAY, THE REAL ESTATE AGENT TOOK US TO SEE THE SKI AREAS ON MT. CHARLSTON.AND SOON IT WAS SUNDAY AFTERNOON,AND TIME FOR JIMMY TO LEAVE. I DROVE HIM AND HIS FREINDS TO THE AIRPORT, AND WENT HOME.WHEN I GOT HOME, JIMMY CALLED ME AND SAID HIS FLIGHT WAS DELAYED AROUND 7 HOURS.SO , I WENT BACK TO THE AIRPORT AND SAT THERE WITH HIM AND HIS FRIENDS.WE ATE PIZZA,AND TALKED,HOLDING HANDS CONSTANTLY.JIMMY DOZED OFF.HE LOOKED VERY DEPRESSED.HE WAS QUIET. AT 11PM HE SAID,"I WANT YOU TO GO HOME NOW, FRAN..I WANT YOU TO KEEP WALKING, AND DO NOT TURN AROUND TO LOOK BACK AT ME." SO, I DID JUST THAT.I WENT HOME AND FELL ASLEEP. BEFORE I KNEW IT, IT WAS THE NEXT DAY AND JIMMY WAS CALLING ME. HE WAS BACK IN NEW JERSEY, IN HIS BAILBONDSMAN OFFICE. HE SAID, "I'M COMING BACK THERE TO MARRY YOU.I'LL SETTLE SOME THINGS HERE,AND BE BACK ASAP." I SAID, "OK..THE SOONER THE BETTER!"HE NEVER ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM WE JUST KNEW WE HAD TO BE TOGETHER AND MARRIED.......A FEW DAYS LATER HE SENT ME A SPRINT CELL PHONE.WITH THAT PHONE,WE TALKED 24/7.HE WAS ALWAYS WITH ME.