Sunday, March 28, 2004

"ONE REVOLUTION HAS OCCURED"

Yes, one entire revolution has ocurred.You must be wondering exactly what I am talking about.The earth has made one entire journey around the sun, since Jimmy left.That is, it is exactly 1 full year that Jimmy left the house.Jimmy left on March 28, 2003. We stood at the door, I faced him, and we kissed.Then, I laid my head forward on his chest.Then, I said,"This is all so surrreal."And he left.And yes it was surreal.  I was in some other realm.I was not in the present dimension of time.I was entirely alone.No one called.No one was with me.Jimmy went alone to the court, and then to jail. Later that evening he called me,from a temporary waiting area.no beds available, he slept on the floor.  And I just sat in my chair, near the bed.  I looked at the 4 walls.Emotionless and shocked.Jimmy had predicted I would be like that for at least 2 weeks.And I was.Alone, no one tried to help me.  My main concern was to just walk to the kitchen to feed Prince, Misty, and Jimbo, each day.I stopped eating. And when I saw the same half can of diet coke sitting by my bedside, each day, I realized that I had stopped drinking too.  I hung on, cause I had my babies here with me.And the second day, a terrible storm blew through the house.a strong wind, like a tornado.the walls and roof rattled.And I just sat here, and trembled.No radio, no tv.only quietness.and then I'd sleep.And then a few days later, Jimmy was in some very small cell with another guy.he was in lock-down 23 hrs a day.  His cell was smaller than my bathroom.  I could not imagine my active man locked into such a small place.so the days passed. ..he went to an evaluation center, and then to "THE FARM," where he is now.  And now, one full year has passed. On a more positive note, we romantically spoke today, how in a few weeks he'll go to the half-way house.How we can meet  and kiss and have lunch together!And thus, such is life.By the way, my favorite tv program has always been "Oz," since it came on many yrs ago.  Jimmy always told me, prison is not as they portray it on that show. I watched it, and started feeling nauseated.the clanging of the bars.It made me physically sick, and I turned it off.  I said to Jimmy, 'when you come home, please lets fill our lives with artwork,cafes, cultural events.I need to forget about prisons! And now, I'm going to watch my favorite show."THE SOPRANOS."

3 comments:

wvgranpappy said...

Crystal, Thanks for your prayers for my James. He will be coming home in three or four days GOD WILLING and I hope how soon your Jimmy will be coming home. My prayers are with you as yours are with me. THANKS AGAIN...OLE' PAPPY LOVES YA !!!

dakotarose2852 said...

Fran, I'm so glad Jimmy will be moving to a half way house. That will be so GREAT for the two of you! You are a strong, loyal woman. You have no idea how much I admire your strength. I want so much for you to have the good life you deserve. I know you have a good life, but I mean the good life with your Jimmy. You hang in there. I'm rooting for you.
Susan

crystalmoon222 said...

Thank you, Susan and Pappy for your comments. "SOON" to the half-way house, may still mean several months...but at least it is somewhere in the horizan! Glad James is coming home!.........................Fran