Sunday, June 6, 2004

More Thoughts

Dear Jimmy,

To the man I love.  To the best man in the world.  Let me send my good thoughts about you into the universe, and beyond this universe. You have made me a total woman. You have given me strength to carry on in this sometimes cruel world.  You have taught me about love, romance, strength, endurance.  Between us , we have a magnificent flow of energy.  It is magnetic.  We heal one another.  Although 80 miles apart, we are one with each other.  Before you went to prison, we agreed that this would be the one opportunity to play "mind games" with one another.  What I mean is psychic experiences with one another.  And yes, it has been working with us....and we don't even try, it just comes naturally to us.  For example, for the past 2 weeks, I had taken out my folder on Art Bell's old newsletters that I've kept for years.  And on the phone the other day, you told me you met an inmate that also loves Art Bell. You were talking to him about his radio show, "Coast to Coast."  You were discussing subjects on his show.  See what I mean?  Is this coincidence.  And when you call me because you think I need you at that moment...and you find me crying..........The other day, you said, "Fran, it is almost 1 1/2 years I've been incarcerated, and everyday, you still tell me that you live every moment for me. That is incredible. You are an incredible woman."  Well, yes, I do live for Jimmy.  My role at this moment is to keep our household together.  And I do. You see, before I met Jimmy, I did lots of things in my life.....But I've never been connected to a man like I am with Jimmy, my husband.  I traveled round the world, many, many times...and it was for pleasure.  I took 2 international trips/year.  I've been to 28 countries, some 2 or 3 times.  Italy, France, England, I went to 3 times.  I've been to India, Morroco, Scandinavian countries, Greece, Scotland...to name a few.  I went on cruises in Greece and Italy and the Carribean.  I've been to 8 islands in the carribean, Hawaii, and Mexico.  You see, I've seen and done it all........more than the average person. People would die just to go on one international vacation.  I was blessed, but I did work hard for it..........and now, all that is a memory.  I don't want o go anywhere...just to lay in my husband's arms..that is all I want.  I've had some people leave cruel comments.  They say, "get a life."  I always had a life, and I still do.  Actually, I am excited about this part of our life.  It will lead us to great places in life.  Life is a journey.  It ultimatly is what you make of it.  My advice is, don't be jealous of others....of what others have and do.  We all have the power within us to climb to the highest star.  I do, and you do , too!.........................with love,  Fran

3 comments:

sheshespice said...

Thank you so very much, Knox Hugh, for your encoraging and caring comment.  I really appreciate it.  I also worked with addicts for years in New York City as an R. N., so I'm aware of substance abuse.  MY husband never took drugs, but he got involved in an unfortunate situation  (his crime took place before I married him). He is a bailbondsman, so he is always telling me statistics, etc.  In the prison, most of the inmates know him, because he's bailed them out many times! Isn't that incredible!  Please keep in touch with me. I need good people around me, like you!  The prison system is so fascinating.  The average person knows nothing about it. They are "quick" to put the criminal down....But, hey!  We're all human.  I think the saying goes, "People who live in glass houses, shouldn't through stones."  And SHE SHE SPICE, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for taking your precious time, to read my journal.  You are a wonderful person, and may God Bless You.  Even I myself have not taken the time to go back and read my journal since it's start , on December 31, 2003.........it was New Year's Eve, and I felt very depressed.....That was over 5 months ago.  And I still share my thoughts with everyone.To get my "record " straight, I am 51 years old.  I lived with the first man for 28 years(since I was 20).He left me on 2/01, and went to Betty Ford Clinic, because he was an alcoholic. Exactly 1 month later, I met Jimmy(3/01).  I was an R.N.
since I was 20...that makes it 31 yrs. I stopped working at the age of 48.  ...wow, those are a lot of sats about my life!.....Sorry if I sometimes get the dates wrong! ...Now, are you happy.  I am not a con, and never stole money, or whatever.  I am however, a very young looking 51 year old.......I pass for 30 or 40, and sound 25 or less .  Why, are you jealous now?!...my little she spice.

sheshespice said...

First of all, very troubling how you "God Bless Me" in one breath and call me your Little She She Spice in a condesending tone in the next accusing me of being jealous of you. You are a very troubled woman.No, I am not jealous of you...how could I be?Nothing you write here is believable.What  is very obvious through your tone and manner however is that you put a lot of emphasis on your looks, and material things..."the one who toots their horn the loudest usually has nothing to toot about" It's a shame that your esteem is so low, you are proud of being on the run with your con, and blame family and friends for "setting" him up.Everything is is the FAULT of everyone else.You also state over and over that because of his (your husband's) education, previous jobs, ownership of several businesses, that somehow the "crime" wasn't that bad.We are all supposed to feel sorry for you, and feel sorry for the repression your husband suffers from in jail.If I had seen just once, ANYWHERE in your journal any bit of sorrow on you or your husband's behalf for not only the crime, but for  being involved in supplying drugs to fathers, sons, teenage daughters..destoying their families, maybe I might have some empathy for you....do you ever think about the people that are addicted, and what their families go through? and how people like your husband lperpetuate the vicious circle of crime and addiction, whether it be ONE time or MANY?...

I never made a comment about the THINGS you think I am jealous of.I am not a jealous person. I never said I was PERFECT. I left a comment based on the words you have written not the things you own or the places you've been...yes I took the time to read your whole journal in order to understand.Would it be reasonable for me to just drop in and leave rosy comments w/o truly understanding the story?I have given you at least that benefit, and I tried to understand. I have a right to my opinion based on what I have seen. I am sorry if you d

sheshespice said...

sorry if you don't like it...