Thursday, April 7, 2005

SURREAL EXPERIENCE

I AM WATCHING  LARRY KING ON TV.  HE HAS THE MOTHER AND BOYFRIEND OF THE YOUNG 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN, WHO WAS A BEAUTIFUL , YOUNG WOMAN, IN THE PROCESS OF BECOMING AN ACTRESS.  HER NAME IS NICOLE, AND SHE WAS SHOT ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK, DURING A MUGGING, IN THE EAST VILLAGE, BY 4 YOUTHS, AND DIED ON THE SPOT.  HER MOTHER EXPLAINS THE EXPERIENCE OF LOSING YOUR DAUGHTER AS 'SURREAL.'  THE DEATH OF HER DAUGHTER HAPPENED ONLY 2 MONTHS AGO, AND IT IS REALLY TOO SOON FOR THE MOTHER TO EVEN BE SPEAKING OF THIS, BECAUSE HER MIND IS WANDERING.  WHEN YOUR HUSBAND GOES TO PRISON, AS I  HAVE ALWAYS SAID, 'IT IS A SURREAL EXPERIENMCE.'  I HAVE SAID THIS MANY TIMES IN THIS JOURNAL, THAT THE MORNING JIMMY LEFT FOR COURT/JAIL, I LEANED INTO HIS CHEST AND SAID, "THIS IS SURREAL.  I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING."  DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO FEEL YOU ARE IN A 'SURREAL' STATE?  IT FEELS YOU ARE IN A BUBBLE. YOU CAN NOT THINK AND MAKE DECISIONS.  YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE FLOATING.  YOU FEEL COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED FROM THE WORLD.  YOU OFTEN FLOAT ABOVE, AND 'SEE" YOURSELF FROM ABOVE.  YOU CANNOT CONCENTRATE. YOU CANNOT FOLLOW WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING.  WATCHING TV, AND LISTENING TO THE RDIO ARE USELESS, BECAUSE YOUR MIND CANNOT FOLLOW ANYONE'S SPEECH. YOU FEEL FAINT AND UNATTACHED.  YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOURSELF.  YOU CAN'T S;EEP, AND YET BEING AWAKE IS USELESS..AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.  MANY OF YOU PRISON WIVES KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.  THE MOTHER OF NICOLE WILL BE GOING TO SUPPORT GROUPS, AND PSYCHIATRISTS. BUT FOR THE PRISONER'S WIFE, SHE HAS NO ONE.  AND THAT IS WHY I SEE A NEED IN OUR COUNTRY FOR FOLLOW-UP PROGRAMS FOR THE PRISONER'S WIFE.  SUPPORT GROUPS. SOME ONE SHOULD VISIT YOU AT HOME TO SEE IF YOU ARE "HANDLING IT' OK. SOMEONE SHOULD AUTOMATICALLY BE THERE TO CHECK UP ON THE PRISONW IFE.  ESPECIALLY, IN THE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF INCARCERATION.  I AM LUCKY. I HAVE PAST THOSE DEPRESSING FIRST FEW MONTHS/ YEARS, AS I SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.  BUT I WORRY ABOUT YOU, WHO ARE JUST NOW ENTERING THAT PHASE.  AND I HAVE A VISION, THAT THINGS IN OUR COUNTRY WILL ONE DAY CHANGE.  AS I HAVE SAID, EARLIER, GREAT BRITAIN HAS A WONDERFUL NET-WORK TO HELP FAMILIES OF THE INCARCERATED.  WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO SEE IT HERE TOO?  

2 comments:

sugar1337 said...

I do hope one day that anyone who needs help can get it too....

barbpinion said...

Wonderful entry, hon. I do wish we had a network to help families of those who in prison. Maybe some day. We need to pray for this. Much love. *Barb*
http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK