Wednesday, April 27, 2005

PRISONER'S WIFE DOES "TIME"WITH HER HUSBAND

FOR THOSE OF YOU JOINING THIS JOURNAL FOR THE FIRST TIME, LET ME EXPLAION SOME THINGS.  I AM A PRISONER'S WIFE, WHOSE HUSBAND IS NOW IN A WORKING HALF-WAY HOUSE.  I AM DOING THE "TIME ," WITH JIMMY, OTHERWISE, KNOWN AS "DOING THE BID."  I WAIT AT HOME.  IY IS NOW APRIL 28, 2005...EXACTLY 25 MONTHS SINCE JIMMY WENT TO JAIL, THEN PRISON, THEN REHAB, AND NOW FINALLY A HALF-WAY HOUSE.  IN THIS JOURNAL YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME, FIRST HAND, WHAT IT IS LIKE TO WAIT , AT HOME, FOR YOUR HUSBAND WHO IS INCARCERATED.  WE ARE NOT KIDS, BUT ARE 2 MATURE PEOPLE, WHO HAPPENED TO FALL IN LOVE 4 YEARS AGO, ACROSS THE NATION...I LIVED IN LAS VEGAS, JIMMY LIVED IN NEW JERSEY.  WE MARRIED 8 WEEKS LATER, AND I FULLY KNEW HE HAD TO SERVE A PRISON TERM.  I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THE PRISON SYSTEM, AND REALLY NEVER WANTED TO KNOW, UNTIL I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MOST WONDERFUL MAN.  I DIDN'T REALIZE HE HAD TO STAY IN PRISON FOR SO LONG.  WE THOUGHT HE MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN HOUSE ARREST, LIKE MARTHA STEWART.  SO HERE IT IS 25 MONTHS LATER.  THAT IS A LOT OF DAYS AND HOURS, LIVING FOR YOUR HUSBAND.  IN THIS JOURNAL YOU WILL EXPERIENCE JUST WHAT IT IS LIKE TO LIVE THE LIFE OF THE FORGOTTEN WOMAN, AT HOME...YES, THE FORGOTTEN WOMAN IN OUR SOCIETY.  AND SO, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE MY TEARS, MY JOY, MY JOKING, MY UPS AND DOWNS, MY EMOTIONAL TURMOIL AT TIMES.  READ THIS JOURNAL , WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE , FROM THE NIGHT I STARTED IT...A LONELY, MISERABLE  NEW YEAR'S EVE DEC. 31, 2003.  SEE HOW IT STARTED OUT .  SEE HOW THE WRITING HAS CHANGED SINCE THAT FIRST ENTRY.  SEE HOW DEPRESSED I WAS, AND HOW, NOW, SOMEHOW HAVE LIFTED MYSELF ABOVE ALL THAT, ALONE, WITH MY HUSBAND'S SUPPORT FROM PRISON.  NOTICE HOW I AM A HAPPIER MORE TOGETHER PERSON.  YES, I FIGURED THE PRISON SYSTEM OUT, BY MYSELF, BY GOING THROUGH IT.  FOR THAT I AM GRATEFUL...TO HAVE BEEN BROUGHT THROUGH THIS PRISON EXPERIENCE, LED BY MY HUSBAND, ONLY TO BECOME A STRONGER PERSON.  IF YOU ARE READING THIS, AND VERY DEPRESSED, HANG ON.  THINGS WILL AUTOMATICALLY CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE AND IN YOUR THOUGHTS...IT IS AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY, BUT ONE WELL WORTH TRAVELING.  I INVITE YOU ALL INTO THE CORNERS OF MY MIND.  FOR SOME IT MAY EVEN BE A SCARY EXPERIENCE.  DO NOT FEAR, FOR YOU WILL ONLY LEARN FROM IT...JUST HOW IT IS TO LIVE LIKE THIS.  YOU SEE, I LIVE FOR THE RING OF THE PHONE.  THAT IS HOW WE HAVE STAYED CONNECTED.  AND FOR THE WAITING OF THE MAIL.  I HAVE BOXES OF MAIL, LETTERS, CARDS, AND HOME-MADE CARDS.  AND , OF COURSE, I LIVE FOR THIS JOURNAL, WHICH HELPED PULL ME OUT OF THE DEPTHS OF DEPRESSION.  AND YES, EVERYDAY I GET LOADS OF MAIL AND COMMENTS FROM THOSE READING THIS, TO THANK ME, AND SHARE THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES.  AND SO, I FEEL BLESSED.  AND I AM HAPPY TO GIVE YOU MY THOUGHTS.  AND NOW, APRIL 28TH IS HERE, AND WE PROCEED INTO THE 25TH MONTH OF BEING PHYSICALLY APART...........FRAN

7 comments:

trishaham said...

Hey Fran, Hang in there.

God Bless,
TiasNme2

paintsaqha said...

FRAN,
GOOD MORNING!
JUST CURIOUS HOW MUCH LONGER JIMMY IS GOING TO BE APART FROM YOU?  AND WHEN HE IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO COME HOME AND BE SAFE WITHIN YOUR ARMS?? HAVE I TOLD  YOU THAT I LIKE WRITING TO YOU FOR THE SOLE REASON THAT I CAN USE ALL CAPS AND YOU WON'T THINK I AM SHOUTING! LOL...
TAKE CARE DEAR,
SHERYL
PAINTSAQHA

crystalmoon222 said...

not sure when i will see jimmy, and not sure when he will come home.  i actually stopped counting days and minutes...i only look forwarc to the next day.  it is terrible to be that way...but i don't believe in the concept of time, months, seasons, holidays...i just flow through life, as nature does....fran

fasttrack58 said...

I ADMIRE YOURS AND JIMMY'S STRENGTH FOR WHAT YOU BOTH HAVE DONE TO HONER THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR EACH OTHER... LINDA

cudles23 said...

u are such an inspiring writer keep up the good work loves

tlanell76 said...

Hello from one who can relate.  My first love of 15 years is currently incarcerated and hopefully through prayers he doesn't have too much longer to go *wishful thinking*. He and I are engaged to be married. You and I, we are sisters in the struggle many may not know why or understand or even feel our pain, the things we go through etc. but I'm here with you going through the same exact thing if not worst - just know you are not alone.

Peace & Blessings :o)
TLL

butterfly65441 said...

FRAN, I WAS HAPPY AND SAD FOR YOU AT THE SAME TIME WHEN I FOUND THIS JOURNAL. I AM A 28 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF FOUR AND MY HUSBAND WAS INCARCERATED IN APRIL OF 2005 FOR FOUR YEARS, ONLY 10 DAYS AFTER I GAVE BIRTH TO OUR ONLY DAUGHTER. I WAS HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU HAD FOUND A WAY TO DEAL WITH THE ONGOING PAIN AND HURT AND ANGER OF THE SITUATION THAT YOU AND I AND THOUSANDS OF OTHER WEMON WITH LOVED ONES IN THE SYSTEM HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERY DAY. YOU ARE A INSPIRATION TO ME, AND MANY OTHER WEMON GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING THAT I WATCH YOU WRITE ABOUT IN YOUR JOURNAL. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR JOURNEY WITH THE SYSTEM THAT I HAVE COME TO HATE........THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SOMEONE TO TALK TO WHO KNOWS THE UPS AND DOWNS OF THE SYSTEM AND THE TIME WE SERVE WITH THEM EVERY DAY. CONTINUE THE GOOD WORK AND HANG IN THERE. ........... LAURA HENSLEY, CINCINNATI, OHIO