Monday, April 4, 2005

I AM ONE OF THE 30% WHO SURVIVED!

HI EVERYONE!  TODAY HAS BEEN AN UNUSUAL DAY, AND A BUSY ONE TOO.  I WANTED TO WRITE THIS A FEW DAYS AGO, BUT NEVER GOT AROUND IT. PLEASE READ EVERY WORD OF IT, BECAUSE THERE IS A SPECIAL MESSAGE HERE, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU. I WRITE THIS JOURNAL BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO ENJOY WRITING, AND LIKE TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU.  BUT IF I DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE AND REASON IN LIFE TO DO THIS, IT WOULD ULTIMATELY BE OF LITTLE USE. WELL, I GUESS YOU WERE ALL WATCHING ABOUT THE POPE ON TV, AS HE WAS DYING.  YOU MAY HAVE SEEN DOCTORS TALKING ABOUT "SEPTIC SHOCK," WHICH THE POPE WAS IN. IT "SHOCKED ME," BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THE SURVIVAL RATE WAS SO LOW.  WELL, GUESS WHO WAS IN THAT 30% SURVIVAL RATE?  YOURS TRUELY!  YES, LAST AUTUMN, IN SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER 2004, I HAD A TOE THAT TURNED GANGRENE, AND I WAS ALSO IN SEPTIC SHOCK. I MADE A MIRACULOUS RECOVERY.  EVEN MY VASCULAR SURGEON COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT MY FOOT, AFTER THE AMPUTATION HAD HEALED SO WELL, AND HE HAD THOUGHT I NEEDED  2 MORE SURGERIES, WHICH I DIDN'T AFTER ALL. I WAS DYING, AND KNEW IT. MY FEVERS WOULD NOT BREAK, EVEN THOUGH I WAS ON INTENSE ANTIBIOTICS (VANCOMYCIN AND OTHERS).  MY HEMAGLOBIN KEPT FALLING, AND I WAS TRANSFUSED WITH 4 UNITS OF PACKED CELLS.  I WAS DEHYDRATED, AND ALL ELECTROLYTES WERE THROWN OFF BALANCE. I WAS GASPING FOR BREATH. MY KIDNEYS WERE SHUTTING DOWN.  I WAS PARTIALLY CONFUSED, AS YOU SEE, THE MASSIVE STAPH INFECTION (mrsa), RAPIDLY SPREADS TO YOUR ENTIRE BODY, INCLUDING YOUR BRAIN. I WAS IN TOTAL PAIN THROUGH-OUT MY BODY, WITH SEVERE HEADACHES. MY IMMUNE SYSTEM BROKE DOWN, AND THE BONE MARROW WAS NO LONGER PRODUCING RED BLOOD CELLS, SO I HAD TO BE GIVEN SHOTS TO PRODUCE BONE MARROW.  YOU SEE, I LAY IN BED, AND KNEW I WAS DYING, BECAUSE MY BODY WAS NOT RESPONDING TO THE MEDICINE. AND MY HUSBAND WAS NOT WITH ME. I DON'T LIKE TO BE TOO GRAPHIC, ABOUT WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE DYING.  NO ONE WANTS TO READ ABOUT THAT. I AM HAPPY TO HAVE NURSED MY OWN SELF BACK TO HEALTH, AND I STILL AMAZE THE DOCTORS! (i had 9 doctors working on my case, figuring out just how to save me).  I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 6 WEEKS.  WHY DO I WRITE THIS?  BECAUSE YOU, AS A PRISON WIFE , SHOULD BE AWARE OF THIS.  AS IT IS NOW, WE HAVE NO RIGHTS. WE WILL HAVE TO BE SICK, AND DIE ALONE, IF OUR HUSBAND IS IN PRISON.  IT SHOULD CHANGE.  AND SO, I LEARNED THESE FACTS. IF A WIFE DIES, THE PRISONER MUST PAY $800 TO GO TO SEE HIS WIFE, FOR 1 HOUR , LAID OUT.  HE WILL BE TAKEN IN HAND-CUFFS, AND A WAIST BELT, AND IN SHACKLES, TO THE FUNERAL PARLOR.  HE WILL SEE NO ONE ELSE.  THE DOORS WILL BE LOCKED AS HE SPENDS TIME WITH HIS WIFE. HE IS NOT PART OF ANY SERVICES.  IF, SHE IS SEVERELY SICK, HE MUST ALSO PAY $800 TO BE BROUGHT TO HER BEDSIDE IN HANDCUFFS AND SHACKLES.  I KNOW ALL THIS SOUNDS GRUESOME. THESE ARE THE FACTS, AS I UNDERSTAND IT, HERE IN NEW JERSEY.  PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF IT IS DIFFERENT ELSEWHERE. WHAT I FEEL , IS THAT PRISONER'S WIVES SHOULD WRITE TO THEIR "STATE LEGISLATORS, "  ABOUT THE "RIGHTS FOR PRISONER'S WIVES."  WHEN YOU ARE SICK, OR DIE, IT SHOULD BE YOUR RIGHT, AS A WIFE, TO HAVE YOUR HUSBAND AT YOUR SIDE.  DON'T YOU THINK SO?  I WAS THERE, AND IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE.  IF NOT FOR OURSELVES, LET US TRY TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, FOR THOSE IN THE FUTURE.  ONE PERSON DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE. WHILE JIMMY WAS AT BAYSIDE PRISON, MINIMUM SECURITY UNIT, THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN WHOSE WIFE DIED, UBEXPECTEDLY.  SHE ALSO DIED FROM A MASSIVE INFECTION, LIKE MINE, AND LIKE THE POPE.  HE NEVER WENT TO HER FUNERAL.  HE NEVER HAD ANY CLOSURE ON HIS WIFE'S DEATH.  AND THAT IS A VERY TERRIBLE THING.  HE WAS OFFERED TO BE BROUGHT BACK TO THE MAIN PRISON, PUT IN A CELL, IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.  A SOCIAL WORKER SPOKE TO HIM.  I WROTE ABOUT HIM HERE, IN THIS JOURNAL.  WE PRAYED FOR HIM AND HIS WIFE, AND 3 SMALL CHILDREN.  HE FELT SOME RELIEF THAT PEOPLE WERE PRAYIG FOR HIM ON THE INTERNET. THAT PEOPLE CARED.  AND SO, I ASK YOU, TO PLEASE THINK ABOUT 'THE RIGHTS OF THE PRISONER'S WIFE."   YOU MAY THINK YOU ARE MARRIED, AND HE BELONGS TO YOU.  WELL, GUESS WHAT. HE DOESN'T. HE STILL BELONGS TO THE STATE.........FRAN 

4 comments:

sugar1337 said...

That is very sad....I hope that one day that could change for everyone deserves the chance to say goodbye to those that they love.

barbpinion said...

That IS very sad.  People have to get involved, to make their voice HEARD. Until they do not much will change, if anything. Hugs. hon. *Barb*
http;//journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

sinnermeetevil said...

I feel sad for all. I been there. My childrens father was in state prison for 10 years straight in PA. Was by his side for 5 years but I was way to young to stick by a man in prison. Now on the other hand, My baby brother is looking at some time. possible long time. my parents are not in good health and I am afraid that something will happen while he is going. That will devestate him. I know my brother. There will be no controlling him. I just hate to think abt it. My brother will be sentence in 8 days on my parents 37th wedding anniversary. that SUCKS!

octgrl1usa said...

Hi, thanks for creating this site.  My boyfriend has been in jail several times and now he has graduated to a prison.  It is minimum security, I hear he is treated like a bad animal.  Belittled all the time by the guards.  My question is he has committed crimes because of an addiction to crack.  I am devoted to him anyways cause he is truly a wonderful person.  I have seen him 4 times since he went to prison so I have just started this new lifestlyle.  I worry if he will change in prison and get out a different person. for the better that is.  What is the percentage?  Thanks and God Bless You