Tuesday, March 15, 2005

....waiting....

I SIT HERE WAITING...AS USUAL.........AND I JUST HATE WAITING........I LIKE TO GET THINGS DONE........TO PROGRESS AHEAD.......AND JIMMY IS THE SAME WAY..........HE IS EVEN WORSE THAN I AM...........WE BOTH SPENT OUR WHOLE LIVES MOVING AHEAD...GETTING THINGS DONE.......ONLY TO HAVE A STANDSTILL IN OUR LIFE FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS........BUT, EVEN NOW, THINGS ARE MOVING AHEAD.....

  JIMMY CALLED ME A LITTLE WHILE AGO......THINGS ARE MOVING AHEAD, NOW THAT HE IS WORKING.........THINGS ARE STARTING TO PROGRESS......CHANGES FOR THE GOOD, ARE STARTING TO TAKE PLACE.............THINGS LIKE "9-HOUR PACK-PASSES,' AND " WEEK-END FURLOUGHS HOME,"  ARE NOW IN OUR FUTURE........

  JIMMY IS LIKE A BOAT.......HE IS ALWAYS MOVING FULL-SPEED AHEAD..........AND I , IN MARRYING HIM, AM PART OF HIM....AND I ENJOY IT........HOWEVER, I AM LIKE AN ANCHOR......I AM HIS STABILITY.....HIS STRENGTH...........I AM HIS WIFE........I AM ALWAYS THERE.........AND I ALWAYS LISTEN TO MY HUSBAND............JIMMY AND I HAVE NEVER STOPPED TALKING, FOR 4 YEARS, SINCE THE FIRST DAY WE MET...........WE LOVE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER....

.......YES, IN A RELATIONSHIP, COMMUNICATION IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT..............JIMMY HAS TOLD ME EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS LIFE, FROM THE BEGINNING...AS FAR BACK AS HE CAN REMEMBER.  AND I , TOO, HAVE TOLD HIM EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, SINCE MY FIRST MEMORY.

...AND WE TALK, AND TALK.........AND JUST NEVER GET TIRED OF IT!........AND THEN, WE MAKE LOVE, AND MAKE LOVE , AND MAKE LOVE.......ALL DAY, AND ALL NIGHT....ROUND THE CLOCK.......AND NEVER GET TIRED OF IT!............IT'S OK, WE'RE MARRIED!   :)                MY HUSBAND IS THE MOST SENSUAL MAN ON THIS PLANET, AND I'M SURE OTHER PLANETS AND UNIVERSES, TOO!

  AND SO, HERE IT IS, ANOTHER NIGHT.....I AM HAPPY BECAUSE THINGS ARE MOVING AHEAD.........TIME IS MOVING ON............IT'S FUNNY, MOST PEOPLE WANT TIME TO STANDSTILL...THEY DON'T WANT "NEXT YEAR" TO GET HERE JUST YET.........THEY DON'T WANT TO GET OLDER..........................BUT, WHEN YOUR HUSBAND IS IN PRISON, YOU WANT THE TIME TO MOVE ALONG..............YOU SIT AND STARE AT THE CALENDER, AND BEG THE DAYS AWAY........FOR ME, I SIT AND DAYDREAM ALOT........BUT I AM A DREAMER, ANYHOW........I SIT AND MEDITATE, AND CONTEMPLATE THINGS......I LOOK DEEPLY WITHIN THINGS, AND PEOPLE.................I AM NOT ONLY A DREAMER, BUT I AM AN ANALYZER, TOO..................I AM VERY PERCEPTIVE OF PEOPLE................I LOOK VERY DEEP WITHIN THEIR HEARTS AND SOULS     AND MY HUSBAND DOES THE SAME...........HE SAYS HE IS "iNTUITIVE.".........HE CALLS ME "PSYCHIC.".......................

  AND NOW, AS IT HAPPENS SO MANY TIMES, THE PERFECT SONG IS PLAYING ON THE RADIO....BY THE RIGHTOUS BROTHERS......................

"UNCHAINED MELODY"................

  "LONELY RIVERS FLOW TO THE SEA...TO THE OPEN ARMS OF THE SEA....LONELY RIVERS SIGH WAIT FOR ME........WAIT FOR ME........I'LL BE COMING HOME WAIT FOR ME....OH MY LOVE, MY DARLING, I HUNGER, HUNGER FOR YOUR TOUCH....A LONG, LONELY TIME.....AND TIME GOES BY SO SLOWLY....AND TIME CAN DO SO MUCH......ARE YOU STILL MINE......................I NEED YOUR LOVE......I NEED YOUR LOVE.......GOD SPEED YOUR LOVE TO ME............(END OF SONG...I TYPED IT WHILE IT PLAYED, AT THE MOST APPROPRIATE TIME)

  GOOD-NITE.....I WILL NOW GO TO BED, AND LAY IN JIMMY'S ARMS AS I HAVE FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS.........I WISH ALL YOU PRISON WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS, CAN MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND AS WE HAVE...............JUST REMEMBER THAT NO ONE, YES NO ONE , CAN COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND'S LOVE............AND IF YOU MAINTAIN . AND LEARN TO USE YOUR MIND, NOT EVEN PRISON WALLS CAN SEPERATE THE 2 OF YOU.........NOT DISTANCE, NOT MILES, NOT MINUTES OR DAYS OR YEARS.........YOU ARE IN CONTROL, WHEN YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR MIND.............AND THE LOVE FOR YOUR HUSBAND WILL ALWAYS WIN............TRY IT, AND SEE...........AND DESPITE ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN OUR WORLD...AND IN OUR LIVES, WE WILL ENDURE, AND NOT BE OVERCOME BY TERRIBLE THINGS AND SITUATIONS............YOU WILL FIND THE STRENGTH AND POWER, THROUGH YOUR LOVE AND DEVOTION TO YOUR MAN..............................I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE STOOD BY ME, SINCE I HAVE BEEN WRITING THIS JOURNAL.........IT MUST GET BORING TO READ THE SAME THING EVERYDAY.............BUT NOW, BY READING MY WORDS, YOU, TOO KNOW WHT IT IS LIKE.............THEN, PART OF THE PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNAL WILL HAVE BEEN REACHED...............FOR YOU TO FEEL THE "EVERYDAYNESS, " THE "BOREDOM," THE "STANDING STILL OF TIME," ...THE SLOW PROGRESSION OF TIME, IN AN OTHERWISE ACTIVE AND PROGRESSIVE WOMAN.............HOW LIFE STOOD STILL FOR ME THE DAY JIMMY WALKED OUT OF THE DOOR, ON HIS WAY TO JAIL........................FRAN

 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

i know u can not wait for his weekends home i am so happy for yall you two are so in love more in love than some who do not have husbands in jail it is kinda funny well better get to work have a good day

Anonymous said...

As they say true love is always worth the wait.  :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Fran,  I hate waiting too.  You were wise to start writing stories and a journal to keep busy.   It's good news that a weekend furloughs are in the near future.  I will breath a little easier when Jimmy comes home to you for good.     Dawn

Anonymous said...

i read your entry and i am happy that you and jimmy have the relationship that you have i wish i could say the same for myself, the man that i spent the past four years being devoted to while he was in jail just got out and told me to go to hell because his sister didnt want us together so all them days i spent waiting was pointless but he says he loves meso i can only believe he will be back.