HAPPINESS.......

JIMMY WILL BE HOME FOR GOOD, ON PAROLE , IN EXACTLY 1 MONTH....................YES, EXACTLY 4 WEEKS FROM TODAY, ON A TUESDAY, JIMMY WILL LEAVE THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, COME HOME, AND NOT HAVE TO RETURN TO THE HALF-WAY HOUSE.................WE ARE BOTH VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT!.....................

HOWEVER, WE ARE BOTH REMAINING FOCUSED AND CENTERED................WE ARE KEEPING OUR LIVES AS ORDERLY AND ORGANIZED AS WE CAN................WE DISCUSS MANY THINGS...............AND ALL IS GOING VERY WELL PRESENTLY.

JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, ONCE AGAIN, ON MONDAY, FOR HIS HOME 12-HOUR VISIT.........

IT WAS A GREAT VISIT, AS ALWAYS!.....................

IT WAS, I BELIEVE, HIS 19TH VISIT HOME.

IT IS ALWAYS A GREAT VISIT, AS WE ARE 2 PEOPLE THAT ARE HAPPY TO ALWAYS BE TOGETHER!.................WE ALWAYS TALK, AND ONE MAY SAY WE HAVE GREAT COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE 2 OF US!

WE LOVE TO BE WITH EACH OTHER, AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS!

EVEN IF WE ARE IN 2 SEPERATE ROOMS, DOING SOMETHING, JIMMY WILL COME IN THE ROOM VERY OFTEN, TO KISS ME, AND SEE WHAT I'M DOING, AND MAKE SURE I'M OK.

JIMMY BOUGHT A COPY OF "THE REPUBLIC OF PLATO."  HE'LL START READING THAT SOON.........AGAIN, THAT IS! I'LL READ A LITTLE OF IT, ALSO.

JIMMY BOUGHT A COMPUTER COURSE ABOUT "COGNITIVE THINKING."  HE JUST LOVES IT!...........MY HUSBAND IS JUST TOO MUCH!...............AND HE JUST LOVES TO LEARN, AND LEARN, AND KEEP LEARNING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!             :)

I PROMISED HIM, I WILL ALSO LISTAN TO THE "COGNITIVE COURSE,"  BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M DOING A COUPLE OF COMPUTER COURSES TO UPGRADE MY NURSING LICENSE............LIKE, "BIO-TERRORISM IN THE WORK-PLACE," WHICH IS MANDATORY FOR NURSING LICENSES THESE DAYS.

I ALSO ALWAYS BUY BOOKS AND BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS!..........I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TO BE SURROUNDED BY READING MATERIAL!................I BOUGHT ANOTHER BOOK BY SYLVIA BROWN, ( I HAVE ALMOST HER WHOLE COLLECTION OF BOOKS)..............ANOTHER BOOK WHICH EXPLAINS THINGS IN THE BIBLE..AND ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT "ABUNDANCE," AND IT IS A VERY CHEERFUL AND PRETTY BOOK TO LOOK AT, AND READ, WITH SMALL VERSES IN IT, THAT ARE VERY OPTOMISTIC.........

AND SO YESTERDAY, JIMMY COOKED DELICIOUS SPARE RIBS!.............SO YUMMY..I JUST LOVED THEM...............I MADE THE SALAD.  HE ALSO MADE ME BREAKFAST WHEN HE ARRIVED HOME............HE MADE THE COFFEE, AND DELICIOUS SCRAMBLED EGGS!

MY HUSBAND JUST LOVES TO COOK!  SO I ENJOY WATCHING HIM COOK!.............AND HE CLEANS UP TOO!

THE DOG AND CATS ARE SO HAPPY THAT PAPA IS HOME NOW, TWICE A WEEK.  PRINCE GETS WALKED SO MANY TIMES BY DADDY THAT HE IS JUST VERY, VERY HAPPY!...............HE IS A BIG DOG, AND LOVES TO WALK, AND I BECAME UNABLE TO WALK HIM, BECAUSE HE PULLED ME OVER A FEW TIMES, AND FELL TWICE WITH HIM, AS HE IS A VERY STRONG DOG..................PRINCE IS NOW 61 LBS.  THAT IS AN 11 LB. GAIN SINCE DADDY HAS BEEN IN PRISON.

JIMMY SAYS I'M DOING SO MUCH BETTER, MYSELF, THAT I AM REALLY BACK TO THE SAME PERSON I ALWAYS WAS.  HE SAYS I AM REALLY NO LONGER AGORAPHOBIC, AS I BECAME VERY FEARFUL OF GOING OUT, AND HAD PANIC ATTACKS, AND EPISODES OF BEING SCARED, AND WANTING TO STAY ALONE, DURING THE MONTHS OF MY HUSBAND'S IMPRISONMENT.  WE BOTH AGREE, THAT THIS KIND OF REACTION FROM A WOMAN WHO IS IN LOVE WITH HER HUSBAND, IS ACTUALLY A NORMAL REACTION. JIMMY SAYS THAT I MOST LIKELY WOULD HAVE FALLEN DEEPER INTO BECOMING A FULL FLEDGED AGORAPHOBIC IF HE WAS NOT IN THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, AND NOT ABLE TO COME HOME.  YES, DURING THOSE DAYS, I WAS A RECLUSE, AND WOULD SLEEP ALL DAY.  IT WAS REALLY ODD.  HE WOULD CALL ME FROM PRISON, AND TELL ME TO GET UP...BUT I COULDN.T.  I WOULD SLEEP ALL DAY, UNTIL AROUND 7 PM, AND THEN GET UP, FOR A SHORT WHILE AND TAKE A SHOWER, TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS, AND TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE............IT WAS AS IF GOING TO SLEEP WAS THE ONLY PLACE I WANTED TO BE............I WOULD BE AWAKE ENOUGH TO ANSWER JIMMNY'S PHONE CALLS FROM PRISON...............I MADE UP THE WORD AND THOUGHT THAT I WAS ACTUALLY  "HIBERNATING" MYSELF, AS AN ANMIMAL, LIKE A BEAR, HIBERNATES ONESELF, IN ORDER TO PHYSICALLY SURVIVE....................AND THAT IS WHAT I THINK IT REALLY WAS.......................BUT NOW, IT HAS ALL CHANGED.

I AM BACK TO NORMAL

I GET UP EARLY, AND MAINTAIN A ROUTINE SCHEDUlE AND LIFE..............I AM NO LONGER SCARED TO GO OUT, AND REALLY ENJOY IT!  JIMMY AND I TALKED ABOUT ANOTHER ASPECT.  I SAID TO HIM, "WHEN A WOMAN'S HUSBAND IS IN PRISONM SHE HAS NOTHING AT ALL TO LOOK FORWARD TO.  THAT WOMAN CANNOT PLAN A DAY, A WEEK AHEAD, AND OF COURSE NEVER A HOLIDAY.  SO THAT IS THE PROBLEM.  THE MAN IS DOING TIME, AND ACTUALLY THE TIME HAS BECOME NON-EXISTANT IN THE WOMAN'S LIFE."

JIMMY AGREED WITH ME, AND WE ANALYZED THE WHOLE THING...................IT IS SIMPLY VERY DIFFICULT FOR ANY WOMAN, OR WIFE, TO DEAL WITH THE PASSAGFE OF TIME, AS THE HUSBAND IS IN PRISON..............

IT IS A HORRIBLE THING.

NOT REALLY UNDERSTOOD, BY ANYONE, UNLESS THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH IT.

IT IS TRUELY A "PSYCHOLOGICAL MESS,"............AND I BELIEVE IT HAS NEVER BEEN REALLY INTENSELY STUDIED, BY PSYCHOLOGISTS.

I AM HAPPY TO BE IN A DIFFERENT STAGE RIGHT NOW!.............I AM HAPPY, AND SMILING, AND THAT IS ALL I RELALLY CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW...........I LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT DAY, WHICH IS THURSDAY, WHEN JIMMY WILL RETURN HOME AGFAIN.............

ALTHOUGH I AM HAPOPY, RIGHT NOW, I DO CARE ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO ARE CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH THE ENTIRE PRISON PROCESS.............

THANK YOU BILL, CINDY, DAWN..............SOME OF THE MATURE PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ MY JOURNAL FROM THE START..............THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SUPPORTING ME, AND TELLING ME, THAT LIFE WILL CHANGE AND BE MORE PLEASANT, WHEN JIMMY COMES HOME FOR GOOD................IT HAS BEEN 3  1/2 YEARS............

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, FOR LISTENING TO MY THOUGHTS............................FRAN

wednesday's visit home

JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, ON WEDNESDAY, FOR HIS VISIT.  I AM STILL IN A STATE OF SHOCK, AS I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM, THAT I STILL FEEL HIM ALL OVER ME!

TONIGHT, WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE...........9PM TO 10PM, HIS ASSIGNED TIME, AND WE HAD SUCH GREAT CONVERSTAION, TOO!...WE ARE ALWAYS HAPPY AND JOKING WITH EACH OTHER!.................BUT THERE IS A VERY SERIOUS SIDE TO US IN WHICH WE DISCUSS MANY, MANY IMPORTANT THINGS..................THINGS ABOUT OUR LIFE, OURSELVES, AND THINGS HAPPENING INT THE WORLD AND NATION..................WE JUST LOVE TO KEEP "ABREAST" OF EVERYTHING HAPPENING IN OUR WORLD, AND IN LIFE , ITSELF..............WE TALK ABOUT CURRENT THINGS HAPPENING, AND DIFFERENT NEWS ITEMS........

TONIGHT JIMM WAS TALKING ABOUT THAT HE CAN'T WAIT TO BUY ME AN X-BOX..............HE WAS EXPLAINING IT TO ME............I KNOW I'LL LOVE IT, AS YEARS AGO I HAD SEGA, WHICH WAS NOT THAT GREAT, BUT I LOVED PLAYING ALL THOSE GAMES!.............IT KEEPS YOUR MIND ACTIVE!

WHEN JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, WE HAD ANOTHER GREAT DAY TOGETHER!

HE TOOK ME OUT TO THE APPROVED PLACES ON HIS PAPER.  THEN WE ARE BACK HOME BY AROUND 12 NOON.  THEN JIMMY LOVES TO DO SOME CLEANING IN THE HOUSE..............................HE TELLS ME, 'I LOVE TAKING CARE OF OUR HOUSE, FRAN.".................SO, I EITHER REST OR WATCH TV, AS HE DOES CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE...........HE DOES TELL ME THAT THE HOUSE IS ACTUALLY VERY CLEAN, BUT HE STILL DOES THINGS WHILE HOME.  IT MAKES HIM HAPPY, AND I AM HAPPY TO SEE HIM DO THINGS. 

HE IS BUSY IN THE KITCHEN.......HE MADE DELICIOUS HAM, AND THEN LATER SPLIT PEA SOUP WITH THE HAM BONE.  HE WANTED TO KEEP THE PEA SOUP FOR ME IN THE FRIDGE.....................I ALWAYS MAKE THE DECAF COFFEE, AS HE LOVES HOW I MAKE IT!

AND SO, WE ARE RELAXED AND IN BED BY 2PM, OR SO..........WE LAY IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS..........WE WATCH SOME TV...................JIMMY LOVES TO HOLD ME AGAINST HIS CHEST, AND WE BOTH DRIFT OFF TO SLEEP THAT WAY..................THROUGHOUT THE DAY, WE PICK ON FOOD AND SNACKS.................AND HE ENJOYS DOING THINGS ON THE COMPUTER.................I USUALLY SIT BY HIM, AND PLAY WITH HIS HAIR, AS HE DOES COMPUTER WORK................

WE ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE....................WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

MY MOTTO IN LIFE IS, "NO FUSS, NO MUSS.".............

FOR ME, I LOVE SIMPLICITY.

I HAVE TOLD JIMMY SO MANY TIMES, "IF IT IS NOT SIMPLE, PLEASE, I DO NOT WANT IT THEN."

AND SO, HE NOW JOKES WITH ME.........."OK, FRAN.  NO FUSS , NO MUSS.  IT MUST BE SIMPLE, FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY."......................AND SO WE LAUGH AT THAT.  BUT WE BOTH KNOW IT IS THE TRUTH.

...............AND, I HAVE TRUTHFULLY ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY, IN MY ENTIRE LIFE."...............AND SOMEHOW, THINGS BECOME EASIER IN LIFE, WITH THAT BELIEF.

................MY OTHER BELIEF SYSTEM, WHICH I ALWAYS WRITE HERE, IS "PEACE, BALANCE AND HARMONY."......................AND THAT IS TRUE.

HOWEVER, I AM AN OPINIONATED WOMAN, ABOUT MANY THINGS IN LIFE................................JIMMY IS A VERY KNOWLEDGABLE MAN, AND OPINIONATED TOO.  I THINK THAT'S WHY I LOVE TALKING TO HIM ABOUT SO MANY THINGS...................HE IS ONE PERSON IN THIS WORLD, WHO LOVES TO LISTEN TO MY OPINIONS.................AND, I LEARN SO VERY MUCH FROM JIMMY.

WELL..............HERE WE GO WITH SOME CURRENT THOUGHTS.....................

MY VERIZON PHONE BILLS ARE OUTSTANDING, ONCE AGAIN.  JIMMY CALLS ME FROM PAY PHONES, AND USES A VERIZON PHONE CARD...............IT IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE...............

I PAID MY BILL TODAY, ON THE PHONE..........$1100.00 FOR 1 MONTH...................THE FELLOW IN VERIZON I WAS TALKING TO, SAID, "OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOUR BILLS SO HIGH!".................YES, HE WORKS THERE AND CAN;T BELIEVE IT..................BUSINESSES ONLY PAY AROUND $600.00 or $700.00/MONTH FOR PHONE BILLS.

I TOLD THE FELLOW, MY HUSBAND IS IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE NOW, BUT HE HAS BEEN AWAY, TO PRISON, ETC., FOR 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHS, AND THAT IS PRETTY MUCH WHAT I HAVE BEEN PAYING EACH MONTH...............I LAUGHED AND JOKED WITH HIM...............I SAID, THE COST DIDN'T MATTER, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, AND JUST HAVE TO KEEP TALKING EACH DAY..................

I HAVE TO LAUGH AND JOKE THE ISSUE AWAY...............CAN I HAVE A HEART ATTACK ABOUT IT?....................NO.  I WON'T LET IT AFFECT ME.

HOWEVER, I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR THOSE WIVES OUT THERE, WHO CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY SUCH HIGH PHONE BILLS.

AND WHEN I SAY "PRISON REFORM," THIS IS ONE SUBJECT THAT IS A BIG ISSUE IN OUR COUNTRY...............THE COST OF PRISON CALLS IS OUTRAGEOUSLY EXPENSIVE.  THERE ARE ISSUES AND LAWSUITS GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY, ABOUT THE COST OF PRISON CALLS.......I HAVE READ MANY ARTICLES ON THE COMPUTER ABOUT THE ISSUES OF HIGH PRISON PHONE CALLS..............I AM SURE ONE DAY IT WILL BE SETTLED.......

HOWEVER, I BLESS ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL EVERYDAY, THAT WE HAVE TELEPHONES TO SPEAK ON.

SOMETIMES JIMMY HAS CALLED ME, AND SAID, "FRAN, I JUST HAVE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS.............THAT'S ALL."

ANOTHER WONDERFUL THING, IS THAT WE HAVE NEVER BEEN FAR FROM EACH OTHER.............BECAUSE WE ALWAYS STAY CONNECTED BY PHONE, WE ARE WITH EACH OTHER AT ALL TIMES..........................EVEN BEING IN PRISON FOR 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHS, WE ARE SO VERY CONNECTED.............JIMMY KNOWS EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSEHOLD, AND WHAT I DO EACH MOMENT.............AND WE BOTH LIKE IT THAT WAY!

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT, SINCE SO MANY NEGATIVE COMMENTS HAVE BEEN ROLLING IN LATELY.

HOWEVER, I WILL THANK "DAWN," WHO WROTE A WONDERFUL COMMENT TODAY.  DAWN BECAME MY JOURNAL FRIEND, AS SHE HAS BEEN READING MY JOURNAL FROM THE BEGINNING, AND HAS ALWAYS STOOD BY MY SIDE...................THANK YOU DAWN..........THANK YOU.

DAWN, (ADLESSOR), HAS WORKED IN LAW ENFORCEMENT , BEFORE RETIREMENT.  SHE UNDERSTANDS THE ISSUES.  SHE UNDERSTANDS THE DIFFICULTY OF BEING A PRISONER'S WIFE, AND HANGING IN THERE.  MANY TIMES, YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS VERY DESPERATE, DAWN WOULD SAY ENCOURAGING WORDS, AND WOULD HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY..........PLEASE READ HER COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY. 

I WILL TRY TO ANSWER SOME OF YOUR QUESTIONS, NOW.

MY JOURNAL BECAME FAMOUS, YOU MAY SAY, BECAUSE A LOT OF PRISONER'S WIVES ACTUALLY SENT COPIES TO THEIR HUSBANDS WHO WERE IN PRISON.  THE PRISONERS BECAME VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS JOURNAL, AND I IMAGINE THEY ARE STILL READING IT.  ALSO, WHEN SENT TO A HLF-WAY HOUSE, IN THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY, I BELIEVE THE MEN HAVE SOME ACCESS TO COMPUTERS, AT TIMES.

OVER 20,000 PEOPLE HAVE READ THIS JOURNAL.  AOL MESSED UP MY COUNTER, THAT IS WHY THE COUNT IS INACCURATE, BUT I HAVE KEPT TRACK MYSELF.

AN ARTICLE ABOUT THIS JOURNAL, ALONG WITH PIX OF JIMMY AND MYSELF, WAS WRITTEN IN "THE PRESS OF ATLANTIC CITY," ON FEBRUARY 10, 2005.........SUNDAYS PAPER...............THE REPORTER FOUND MY JOURNAL, WHIKE DOING RSEARCH ON GOOGLE, ABOUT kINTOCK.  HE WAS SO IMPRESSED WITH THIS JOURNAL, THAT HE CONTACTED ME, AND WROTE THE STORY.  HE VISITED ME AT HOME FOR A 2 HOUR INTERVIEW, AND SENBT A NEWSPAPER PHOTOGRAPHER HERE, TO TAKE PIX.  HE HAD SPECIAL PERMISSION TO INTERVIEW MY HUSBAND FOR 2 HOURS, UPON WHICH THEY TALKED ABOUT THIS JOURNAL......THERE WERE PRISON TOP OFFICIALS THAT WERE QUOTED IN THE ARTICLE, THAT COMPLIMENTED MY JOURNAL, AS IT IS A PLACE FOR PRISONER'S WIVES TO COME TO, TO READ AND NOT FEEL ALONE.  THOSE PRISON OFFICIALS AGREED THAT OUR COUNTRY OFFERS LITTLE OR NO HELP FOR THE PRISONER'S FAMILIES AND CHILDREN.

SO, ALL YOU COMMENTERS THAT SAY HATEFUL THINGS IN THIS JOURNAL, WELL, YOU ARE NOT INFLUENCING ME AT ALL.  I LISTEN, BUT I KIND OF FEEL SORRY FOR YOU ALL, BECAUSE YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE AT ALL.........

MAYBE IT IS GOOD, FOR EVERYONE TO EXPRESS THEIR OPINIONS, AS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING.

MY HUSBAND JIMMY, WENT TO JAIL, OM MARCH 28, 2003, AND THEN STAYED IN BAYSIDE STATE PRISON.  HE WAS AT KINTOCK, A HALF-WAY HOUSE.  HOWEVER, HE IS NO LONGER UNDER THE DOC (dept of corrections), BECAUSE HE WAS PAROLLED MARCH 21, 2006.  SO, NOW HE HAS BEEN AT A HALF-WAY BACK HOUSE, IN CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY.......HE IS PAROLLED, BUT STAYS THERE WITH 2 -12 HOUR VISITS HOME EACH WEEK.  HE ALSO TRAVELS TO HIS JOB EACH DAY, BY PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.

WELL, IT'S GETTING LATE, AND I'M A LITTLE TIRED, SO I'LL SAY GOOD-NIGHT.

I HOPE ALL OF YOU HAVE A BLESSED ANDWONDERFUL LIFE!..................................................FRAN

 

 

HOME AGAJN

JIMMY WAS HOME AGAIN, YESTERDAY, ON SUNDAY , FOR ANOTHER 12 HOUR VISIT..................8 AM TO 8 PM.  IT WAS ANOTHER LOVELY DAY, AS EACH OF HIS VISITS HOME ARE.

WE WENT FOOD SHOPPING TO BUY A FEW THINGS...HE BOUGHT ME 24 BEAUTIFUL DIFFERENT COLOR ROSES, WHICH I REALLY LOVE.  HE ALSO BOUGHT ME 24 CLAMS ON THE HALF-SHELL................WE BOUGHT THEM HOME, AND JIMMY ACTUALLY WAS ABLE TO OPEN THEM WITH A KNIFE...............HE LOVES TO WATCH ME EAT CLAMS ON THE HALF SHELL!  HE SATS IT IS A VERY SEXY THING TO WATCH ME EAT THEM!

WE DID EVERYTHING PLANNED. THEN WE WERE IN BED BY 1PM.  YES, IT WAS GREAT..........WE MAKE SURE WE DO OUR HUSBAND AND WIFE DUTIES, AS THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT, I GUESS...........

I GOT MANY WONDERFUL BODY MASSAGES, ETC.

WE BOTH HAVE OUR SEX, FOR 2 DAYS A WEEK.  THAT IS GIVEN TO US.....................THAT IS WHAT WE ARE ALLOWED, AND WE FOLLOW THE RULES VERT RIDGEDLY.

JIMMY COOKED ROAST BEEF, WHICH WAS DELICIOUS.

I ALSO HAVE FOUND OUT THAT MANY MEN WHO ARE IN PRISONS ARE READING THIS JOURNAL.  MOST OF THEM LOVE THIS JOURNAL, AND THE THINGS I TALK ABOUT.  MOST ARE NOT COMMENTERS.

I AM HAPPY BECAUSE I KNOW THEY ARE ON MY SIDE.  THEY ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE THE SILENT ONES, BUT WHO KNOW THE TRUTH THAT IS HAPPENING WITHIN THE PRISONS IN OUR COUNTRY.

I RECEIVED A SPECIAL MESSAGE, FROM A FORMER PRISONER THE OTHER DAY, AND HE HIMSELF IS A WRITER, AND HE READ THIS JOURNAL AND IS HAPPY WITH IT.

I FEEL STRONGER, AND BETTER NOW................THOSE THAT COMMENT AND SAY THINGS LIKE THEY ARE NOT IN FAVOR OF PRISON REFORM, THEY ARE THE STUPID ONES IN OUR COUNTRY..THEY ARE THE NON-INFORMED PEOPLE, COMMNENTING ON THAT WHICH THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF...........

I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE, BECAUSE I THINK THIS JOURNAL IS A CONTROVERSIAL ONE, AND IT IS HELPING PEOPLE.  MANY WIVES, FAMILIES, CHILDREN, AND YES EVEN PRISONERS THEMSELVES WHO ARE AWARE OF THE TRUE SITUATIONS.

I STARTED THIS JOURNAL, AS A SAD, DISTRAUGHT WOMAN.  AND NOW AFTER 3 1/2 YEARS OF A MAN IN PRISON.............I MYSELF KNOW WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT...................................FRAN

a great visit

WE HAD A GREAT 12 HOUR VISIT, YESTERDAY!.............IT WAS JIMMY'S 15TH VISIT HOME.

HE MADE TORTOLLENI WITH MEAT SAUCE....MEATBALLS AND SAUSAGE................IT WAS VERY YUMMY. 

WE WENT TO BJ'S AN SYOCKED UP THE HOUSE WITH FOOD, SINCE I AM MEDICALLY NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE ANYMORE..............HE PUTS ME IM MY WHEELCHAIR, AND WE GO AND LOOK AT EVERYTHING IN BJ'S!

WE BOUGHT BEAUTIFUL FRESH FRUITS................PEACHES, NECTARINES, AND STRAWBERRIES, WHICH I LOVE...............AND FRESH BROCOLLI AND SPINACH, AS I LOVE VEGTABLES!

YES, FOR ALL OF YOU WORRIED OUT THERE, JIMMY AND I ARE BIG PEOPLE!....AND I NEVER PUT BIG PEOPLE DOWN, AND NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ACCUSE THEM.....I LOVE FAT PEOPLE, AND I'M FAT MYSELF.  HOWEVER, BECAUSE I SAY THE TRUTH, YOU ALL GET ANGRY!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, JIMMY WILL COME HOME AGAIN IN 3 MORE DAYS, WHICH IS SUNDAY.  .WE ARE JUST COUNTIMNG THE DAYS DOWN. NOW.  TIME SEEMS TO BE MOVING SLOW RIGHT NOW.

WE ALSO WENT TO ST.NAXIMILLIAN KOLBE, ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH TO BUY  AN ENGRAVED STONE, IN THE ROOM OF SHRINES, FOR HIS MOTHER, WHO IS DECEASED..............SHE DIED AROUND 13 YEARS AGO.

...................FRAN

 

OPTIMISM

JIMMY IS COMIMG HOME TOMORROW, OMCE AGAIN, FOR HIS 12 HOUR VISIT, AND I AM SO HAPPY AND THRILLED!................I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM, AND BE IN HIS LOVING ARMS!

I AM SO POSITIVE AND OPTIMISTIC!!!!!!!!!!!

.....................FRAN

our thoughts

I SPOKE WITH JIMMY A LITTLE WHILE AGO, AND DISCUSSED THIS JOURNAL WITH HIM.  SO, HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR THOUGHTS.

BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED, WHICH WAS 5 YEARS AGO, JIMMY AND I WERE  "KENNEDY LIBERALS."   BUT NOW, AFTER SPENDING ALMOST 4 YEARS IN PRISON, JIMMY AND I HAVE GONE FROM BEING "LIBERALS,"  TO "CONSERVATIVES. "

JIMMY FEELS NOW THAT AFTER THINKING ABOUT LIFE, AND ANALYZING THINGS, THE "WAY TO GO,".............ACTUALLY THE "CORRECT WAY TO GO,'".......IN THIS COUNTRY, AND GLOBALLY FOR THAT MATTER, IS TO BE A CONSERVATIVE.  HE FEELS THAT PEOPLE , SUCH AS POLICE OFFICERS, PRISON GUARDS, AND THOSE IN AUTHORITY ...............THEY ARE THE RIGHT WAY.

AS MANY OF YOU MAY KNOW, MY HUSBAND WAS ONCE AN ATTORNEY, SO AS YOU CAN SEE, HE ALWAYS ANALYZES THINGS VERY CAREFULLY.

LET ME EXPLAIN. 

HE FEELS THAT SOMETHING LIKE 99%  OF THE LIBERAL POPULATION IS REALLY NOT ACCEPTED BY OUR COUNTRY. 

JIMMY IS A MANAGER AT A FOODSTORE, HERE IN NEW JERSEY.  HE TELLS ME THAT MEN IN PRISON COME UP TO HIM AND ASK HIM TO TRY AND GET THEM A JOB ..................WELL, SURPRISINGLY, 99%  OF THOSE MEN, WHO ARE SEEKING WORK, NEVER EVEN FOLLOW THROUGH WITH AN APPLICATION.  THE OTHER 1% ARE ALWAYS ASKING HIM FOR MONEY.

JIMMY AND I HAVE NEVER WALKED PAST A HOMELESS MAN WITHOUT GIVING HIM MONEY, OR BUYING HIM A SANDWHICH............................

WHEN JIMMY TRAVELS BACK TO VOA FROM HIS JOB, HOMELESS MEN APPROACH HIM  AND ASK FOR MONEY.  HE ALWAYS GIVES TO THEM.  LATER, WHEMN HE TALKS TO ME ON THE PHONE HE SAYS,  "HONEY, THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE I SPEND TIME IN PRISON WITH.  AND HERE THEY ARE, RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY STARTED FROM."

WHEN I ASKED HIM, JIMMY SAID, "YES, MANY OF THE MEN IN PRISON ARE CRAZY."    HIS OWN BUNKIE , IN CRAF,  WAS ON HEAVY PSYCH MEDS, AND WAS A CHILD MOLESTER.  HE TALKED TO HIMSELF ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT, AND WAS RIGHT ABOVE JIMMY, IN A BUNK,  IN A 9FT. BY 8 FT. CELL.  THE OTHER GUYS WOULD ASK JIMMY HOW HE COULD STAND IT, BUT JIMMY IS ABLE TO GET THROUGH ANYTHING IN LIFE. 

MY ANSWER TO JIMMY WAS,  'THEY MAY BE CRAZY, BUT THEY ARE SMART ENOUGH TO DO CRIMES TO GET LOCKED UP AGAIN, AND NOT LIVE OUT ON THE STREETS, AND NOT CLEAN THEMSELVES UP, AND LIVE A DECENT LIFE."......................THOSE THAT ARE DIAGNOSED WITH PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS ARE PUT IN INSTITUTIONS FOR THE MENTALLY ILL.  ....................SO, WHEN THE COMMENTOR SAID, THE EXCUSE IS THAT THEY RETURN TO THE STREETS BECAUSE THEY ARE CRAZY,...WELL, THAT ANSWER IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME...................AND I WORKED WITH STREET PEOPLE FOR 16 YEARS IN NEW YORK.

ALSO, IN INDIA, PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN INTO POVERTY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LIVE ON THE STREET, FROM BIRTH..................BEGGARS....LIVING IN HUTS. ..............CHILDREN THAT BEG, EVERYDAY ON THE STREET.............. THERE IS NO SOCIAL SYSTEM TO HELP THEM OUT, AS WE HAVE HERE IN AMERICA..................NO SOUP KITCHENS, AND NO FOOD STAMPS........

JIMMY WOULD ALSO LIKE TO GIVE HIS POINT OF VIEW ON ANOTHER SUBJECT.  JIMMY HAS SEEN IN PRISON, FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHS, MEN WHO HAVE 4 OR 5 WOMEN VISITING THEM.  MOST OF THESE MEN ARE UNMARRIED, AND HAVE MANY CHILDREN WITH EACH WOMAN.  THESE MEN ARE PROUD TO BE DOING THIS.  THEY WANT THESE WOMEN, WHO ARE 'THE GIRLFRIEND,' TO BUY THEM THINGS, AND SEND THEM MONEY......MOST OF THESE LOCKED UP GUYS HAVE TV'S RADIOS, ETC.....YOU NAME IT, THEY HAVE IT..............LOTS OF MONEY SENT TO THEM BY THESE WOMEN.  THESE WOMEN, WHO CALL THEMSELVES THE MAN'S "WIFE,' BUT ARE ACTUALLY NOT MARRIED, AND UNAWRE THAT THE MAN HAS MANY OTHER GIRLFRIENDS. 

MY HUSBAND FEELS SAD THAT THESE WOMEN ARE BEING ABUSED AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY THESE MEN.  MANY OF THESE ARE HEAVY-SET WOMEN, WHO HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO CATER TO THESE PRISONERS, WHO LEAD THEM ON FOR YEARS.  ....

NOW, JIMMY IS NOT SAYING THIS IS THE CASE FOR EVERYONE, BUT IT IS FOR SOME.

I MET MY HUSBAND BEFORE HE WENT TO PRISON.  WE MET A LITTLE WHILE AFTER HE COMMITED HIS CRIME.  WE WE LIVING TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE FOR 2 YEARS, BEFORE HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO PRISON.........................

ALSO, I MADE A MISTAKE.....IT COSTS JIMMY  $11.00 per day, TO AND FROM WORK.  HIS JOB IS 3 HOURS , TO AND FROM WORK.  THE OTHER GUYS COULD GET A JOB CLOSE BY, IF THEY WANTED.  MEN IN THE OTHER HALF-WAY HOUSE THAT JIMMY WAS IN EARLIER, HAD JOBS IN FACTORIES, AND SOME DID THINGS LIKE "PICK FEATHERS OFF THE CHICKENS," FOR CHICKEN COMPANIES.................THOSE MEN ALSO HAD PROSTITUTES COMING TO THE FACTORY, AND HAVING SEX WITH THEM IN THE YARD BEHIND THE FACTORY................

ANOTHER COMMENT MENTIONED MEN ARE BEAT UP IF THEY ARE CAUGHT WITH DRUGS, ETC....YES, THEY ARE.  THE MEN GET ANGRY WHEN ONE PERSON IN THE GROUP DOES WRONG THINGS, AND THEN THEY 'TAKE CARE OF THAT GUY."

.....AND AS FAR AS ME BEING A "SELF-RIGHTOUS PERSON," WELL THAT IS, IN A WAY,IN A WAY  A GOOD THING TO BE.  IT IS BETTER THAN BEING IN A STATE OF DEPRESSION, AND HATING YOURSELF .................AND BEING IN A DEEP DEPRESSION FOR 3 YEARS....................A SHUNNED, STIGMATIZED WOMAN............STIGMATIZES BY HER OWN SOCIETY...............THAT IS A TERRIBLE THING..............AND MOSY WOMEN OUT THERE, ARE SCARED, PRISON WIVES.  THEY SHY AWAY FROM SOCIETY.  THEY ARE FRIGHTENED.  THEY ARE HIDING THEMSELVES IN THE HOUSE.....................YOU, OUT THERE...YOU KNOW IT, IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU!.............."THIS THING CALLED PRISON!"

DON'T BE AFRAID!.................COME OUT AND SPEAK YOUR MIND..................TALK ABOUT THE PRISON SYSTEM IN OUR COUNTRY!

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN OPTIMISTIC PERSON IN MY LIFE, AND NO ONE, NOT ANYONE, WILL EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME...........................EVEN THOUGH I MAY BE A PRISONER'S WIFE.

................"AND WE ALWAYS REACH FOR THE HIGHEST STAR!"

........................FRAN AND JIMMY

 

monday thoughts

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS!..................THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS JOURNAL IS ABOUT!.....................TO  "STIR UP YOUR THOUGHTS,"  AND GET YOU THINKING ABOUT ISSUES IN OUR LIFE, COUNTRY, AND WORLD........

YES, I SUCCEEDED IN GETTING YOU ALL TO THINK ABOUT THINGS YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT1...............THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR OPINIONS!

AND TO A CERTAIN FEW, WHOM I WILL NOT MENTION NAMES, "STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME!"

YOU ALL FELL INTO MY TRAP!............

I TESTED THE READERS OF THIS JOURNAL, AND FOUND OUT MY ANSWER.

THE ANSWER I FOUND OUT, IS THAT THE AMERICAN POPULATION STILL STIGMATIZES THE PRISONER'S WIFE, AND THE PRISONER HIMSELF.......................THAT IS THE TRUTH, AND THE MINDS OF OUR PEOPLE JUST WILL NEVER CHANGE, UNFORTUNATELY...............................FRAN