HAPPINESS.......

JIMMY WILL BE HOME FOR GOOD, ON PAROLE , IN EXACTLY 1 MONTH....................YES, EXACTLY 4 WEEKS FROM TODAY, ON A TUESDAY, JIMMY WILL LEAVE THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, COME HOME, AND NOT HAVE TO RETURN TO THE HALF-WAY HOUSE.................WE ARE BOTH VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT!.....................

HOWEVER, WE ARE BOTH REMAINING FOCUSED AND CENTERED................WE ARE KEEPING OUR LIVES AS ORDERLY AND ORGANIZED AS WE CAN................WE DISCUSS MANY THINGS...............AND ALL IS GOING VERY WELL PRESENTLY.

JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, ONCE AGAIN, ON MONDAY, FOR HIS HOME 12-HOUR VISIT.........

IT WAS A GREAT VISIT, AS ALWAYS!.....................

IT WAS, I BELIEVE, HIS 19TH VISIT HOME.

IT IS ALWAYS A GREAT VISIT, AS WE ARE 2 PEOPLE THAT ARE HAPPY TO ALWAYS BE TOGETHER!.................WE ALWAYS TALK, AND ONE MAY SAY WE HAVE GREAT COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE 2 OF US!

WE LOVE TO BE WITH EACH OTHER, AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS!

EVEN IF WE ARE IN 2 SEPERATE ROOMS, DOING SOMETHING, JIMMY WILL COME IN THE ROOM VERY OFTEN, TO KISS ME, AND SEE WHAT I'M DOING, AND MAKE SURE I'M OK.

JIMMY BOUGHT A COPY OF "THE REPUBLIC OF PLATO."  HE'LL START READING THAT SOON.........AGAIN, THAT IS! I'LL READ A LITTLE OF IT, ALSO.

JIMMY BOUGHT A COMPUTER COURSE ABOUT "COGNITIVE THINKING."  HE JUST LOVES IT!...........MY HUSBAND IS JUST TOO MUCH!...............AND HE JUST LOVES TO LEARN, AND LEARN, AND KEEP LEARNING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!             :)

I PROMISED HIM, I WILL ALSO LISTAN TO THE "COGNITIVE COURSE,"  BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M DOING A COUPLE OF COMPUTER COURSES TO UPGRADE MY NURSING LICENSE............LIKE, "BIO-TERRORISM IN THE WORK-PLACE," WHICH IS MANDATORY FOR NURSING LICENSES THESE DAYS.

I ALSO ALWAYS BUY BOOKS AND BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS!..........I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TO BE SURROUNDED BY READING MATERIAL!................I BOUGHT ANOTHER BOOK BY SYLVIA BROWN, ( I HAVE ALMOST HER WHOLE COLLECTION OF BOOKS)..............ANOTHER BOOK WHICH EXPLAINS THINGS IN THE BIBLE..AND ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT "ABUNDANCE," AND IT IS A VERY CHEERFUL AND PRETTY BOOK TO LOOK AT, AND READ, WITH SMALL VERSES IN IT, THAT ARE VERY OPTOMISTIC.........

AND SO YESTERDAY, JIMMY COOKED DELICIOUS SPARE RIBS!.............SO YUMMY..I JUST LOVED THEM...............I MADE THE SALAD.  HE ALSO MADE ME BREAKFAST WHEN HE ARRIVED HOME............HE MADE THE COFFEE, AND DELICIOUS SCRAMBLED EGGS!

MY HUSBAND JUST LOVES TO COOK!  SO I ENJOY WATCHING HIM COOK!.............AND HE CLEANS UP TOO!

THE DOG AND CATS ARE SO HAPPY THAT PAPA IS HOME NOW, TWICE A WEEK.  PRINCE GETS WALKED SO MANY TIMES BY DADDY THAT HE IS JUST VERY, VERY HAPPY!...............HE IS A BIG DOG, AND LOVES TO WALK, AND I BECAME UNABLE TO WALK HIM, BECAUSE HE PULLED ME OVER A FEW TIMES, AND FELL TWICE WITH HIM, AS HE IS A VERY STRONG DOG..................PRINCE IS NOW 61 LBS.  THAT IS AN 11 LB. GAIN SINCE DADDY HAS BEEN IN PRISON.

JIMMY SAYS I'M DOING SO MUCH BETTER, MYSELF, THAT I AM REALLY BACK TO THE SAME PERSON I ALWAYS WAS.  HE SAYS I AM REALLY NO LONGER AGORAPHOBIC, AS I BECAME VERY FEARFUL OF GOING OUT, AND HAD PANIC ATTACKS, AND EPISODES OF BEING SCARED, AND WANTING TO STAY ALONE, DURING THE MONTHS OF MY HUSBAND'S IMPRISONMENT.  WE BOTH AGREE, THAT THIS KIND OF REACTION FROM A WOMAN WHO IS IN LOVE WITH HER HUSBAND, IS ACTUALLY A NORMAL REACTION. JIMMY SAYS THAT I MOST LIKELY WOULD HAVE FALLEN DEEPER INTO BECOMING A FULL FLEDGED AGORAPHOBIC IF HE WAS NOT IN THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, AND NOT ABLE TO COME HOME.  YES, DURING THOSE DAYS, I WAS A RECLUSE, AND WOULD SLEEP ALL DAY.  IT WAS REALLY ODD.  HE WOULD CALL ME FROM PRISON, AND TELL ME TO GET UP...BUT I COULDN.T.  I WOULD SLEEP ALL DAY, UNTIL AROUND 7 PM, AND THEN GET UP, FOR A SHORT WHILE AND TAKE A SHOWER, TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS, AND TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE............IT WAS AS IF GOING TO SLEEP WAS THE ONLY PLACE I WANTED TO BE............I WOULD BE AWAKE ENOUGH TO ANSWER JIMMNY'S PHONE CALLS FROM PRISON...............I MADE UP THE WORD AND THOUGHT THAT I WAS ACTUALLY  "HIBERNATING" MYSELF, AS AN ANMIMAL, LIKE A BEAR, HIBERNATES ONESELF, IN ORDER TO PHYSICALLY SURVIVE....................AND THAT IS WHAT I THINK IT REALLY WAS.......................BUT NOW, IT HAS ALL CHANGED.

I AM BACK TO NORMAL

I GET UP EARLY, AND MAINTAIN A ROUTINE SCHEDUlE AND LIFE..............I AM NO LONGER SCARED TO GO OUT, AND REALLY ENJOY IT!  JIMMY AND I TALKED ABOUT ANOTHER ASPECT.  I SAID TO HIM, "WHEN A WOMAN'S HUSBAND IS IN PRISONM SHE HAS NOTHING AT ALL TO LOOK FORWARD TO.  THAT WOMAN CANNOT PLAN A DAY, A WEEK AHEAD, AND OF COURSE NEVER A HOLIDAY.  SO THAT IS THE PROBLEM.  THE MAN IS DOING TIME, AND ACTUALLY THE TIME HAS BECOME NON-EXISTANT IN THE WOMAN'S LIFE."

JIMMY AGREED WITH ME, AND WE ANALYZED THE WHOLE THING...................IT IS SIMPLY VERY DIFFICULT FOR ANY WOMAN, OR WIFE, TO DEAL WITH THE PASSAGFE OF TIME, AS THE HUSBAND IS IN PRISON..............

IT IS A HORRIBLE THING.

NOT REALLY UNDERSTOOD, BY ANYONE, UNLESS THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH IT.

IT IS TRUELY A "PSYCHOLOGICAL MESS,"............AND I BELIEVE IT HAS NEVER BEEN REALLY INTENSELY STUDIED, BY PSYCHOLOGISTS.

I AM HAPPY TO BE IN A DIFFERENT STAGE RIGHT NOW!.............I AM HAPPY, AND SMILING, AND THAT IS ALL I RELALLY CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW...........I LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT DAY, WHICH IS THURSDAY, WHEN JIMMY WILL RETURN HOME AGFAIN.............

ALTHOUGH I AM HAPOPY, RIGHT NOW, I DO CARE ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO ARE CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH THE ENTIRE PRISON PROCESS.............

THANK YOU BILL, CINDY, DAWN..............SOME OF THE MATURE PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ MY JOURNAL FROM THE START..............THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SUPPORTING ME, AND TELLING ME, THAT LIFE WILL CHANGE AND BE MORE PLEASANT, WHEN JIMMY COMES HOME FOR GOOD................IT HAS BEEN 3  1/2 YEARS............

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, FOR LISTENING TO MY THOUGHTS............................FRAN