hello again

I SPOKE WITH JIMMY'S SOCIAL WORKER, TODAY.  IT SEEMS LIKE MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, WE ARE MAKING SOME PROGRESS INTO GETTING THE PHONE THING RESOLVED.  THIS IS AROUND THE 6TH OR MORE CALL TO THE SOCIAL WORKER, AND TODAY I ACTUALLY GOT HER DIRECTLY ON THE PHONE.  I SPOKE WITH HER YESTERDAY, ALSO, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE FOR HER TO GO SEE JIMMY....SHE WAS VERY NICE TO ME ON THE PHONE.

SO WHEN I SPOKE WITH HER TODAY, SHE SAID SHE HAD JUST GONE TO SEE JIMMY, 1/2 HOUR AGO.  SHE EXPLAINED TO HIM WHAT PAPERWORK HAD TO BE FILLED OUT, AS THE WOMAN LAST FRIDAY, HAD SPOKEN TO ME AND EXPLAINED THINGS....THE BIG MYSTERY IS, HOW TO COMMUNICATE THIS TO JIMMY...A MAN IN PRISON...IT SEEMS SO VERY DIFFICULT.

BUT I THINK TODAY, IT GOT STRAIGHTENED OUT.  TODAY HAS BEEN 28 DAYS SINCE I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO JIMMY..........WELL, IT'S THE PHONE COMPANY'S LOSS, AS THEY DIDN'T MAKE THE 700 OR SO DOLLARS....HEE, HEE.....

I ASKED HOW HE WAS....SHE SAID HE WAS HAPPY THAT HE WILL SOON BE ON PAROLE!

I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO.....I JUST CAN'T SAY IT ENOUGH!.......HE IS A MOST WONDERFUL MAN, AND INDIVIDUAL, AND I KNOW YOU'RE ALL SICK OF ME PROFESSING MY LOVE TO HIM!

MY DAYS HERE HAVE BEEN QUIET.......VERY QUIET.

I SLEEP UNTIL AROUND 5 OR 6 PM, BECAUSE JIMMY DOESN'T CALL ME TO WAKE ME UP, AS HE HAS FOR 3 YEARS.  THEN, I GET UP. MAKE COFFEE, SHOWER, AND TAKE THE DOG OUT.  THEN I DO ALL THE USUAL HOUSEHOLD CHORES........I GET THE MAIL, AND IT USUALLY HAS 1 OR 2 LETTERS FROM JIMMY....AND THEN, I EVEN COOK FOR THE DOG, EVERYDAY...YES, EVERYDAY........PRINCE EATS SOME DOG FOOD, BUT HE LOVES THINGS LIKE BROWN RICE, SALAD, AND VEGETABLES, LIKE BROCCOLI. I ALSO MAKE HIM STEAK, HAMBURGERS, CHICKEN, OR LIVER......SOMETIMES  A LITTLE SCRAMBLED EGG, OR PLAIN YOGURT............AND HE GETS A MILK BONE BISCUIT EVERYDAY!.....SO THAT'S PRINCE!....SOMETIMES I BOIL HIM SOUP BONES......

I'VE ALSO BEEN WRITING A LOT LATELY.  TOMORROW I WILL GO TO THE POST OFFICE TO MAIL A 15 PAGE MANUSCRIPT I WROTE....A ROMANTIC SHORT-STORY, AN ADVENTURE....IT IS  OVER 6000 WORDS.....I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT!.......IT'S NOT SO MUCH IN THE WRITING IT, BUT IN WRITING SOMETHING THAT "EXCITES THE PEOPLE."  THEN, IN A FEW DAYS , I WILL START ANOTHER PROJECT.  THAT IS TO WRITE ANOTHER SHORT STORY FOR A MAGAZINE , USING 2500 WORDS.  SO , THAT IS HOW I QUIETLY SIT HERE, WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND....I ALSO GOT INVOLVED PLAYING "BOOKWORM," AND PLAY IT FOR 1-2 HOURS/DAY....I LOVE WORD GAMES LIKE THAT.......CHECK IT OUT ON GOOGLE....

WHEN I SIT AND THINK ABOUT THINGS, THE 3 YEARS OF JIMMY'S INCARCERATION HAS CHANGED ME IN SOME WAYS....AND I FEEL FOR THE BETTER.  IN THE BEGINNING OF THE 3 YEARS, I WAS VERY TENSE, AND UPTIGHT...UNDER WAY TOO MUCH STRESS.  NOW, AFTER 3 YEARS, I LEARNED TO PSYCHOLOGICALLY HANDLE IT BETTER.........THAT IS, IN A MORE PEACEFUL, CALMER, WAY.  SIMPLY PUT, I FEEL LIKE THIS IS WHERE GOD WANTS ME AT THIS PARTICULAR TIME IN LIFE.  I WANT NOTHING, AND I WANT FOR NOTHING, EXCEPT MY HUSBAND, THAT IS.  WE HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL, PERFECT LOVE, AND MARRIAGE, DESPITE PRISON WALLS.  THERE IS 50% DIVORCE RATE IN AMERICA, AND YET, WE HAVE THE STRONGEST MARRIAGE.  JIMMY LOVES ME AS NO OTHER MAN CAN.  AND VICE-VERSA........OUR LIFE AND LOVE OUTSHINES ALL OBSTACLES, SUCH AS PRISON WALLS AND CELLS.......

AND THAT'S WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT....RIGHT NOW, AS I'M TYPING, MARCH 1ST, IS HERE, AS IT IS MIDNIGHT.  JIMMY WALKED OUT THE FRONT DOOR, ON HIS WAY TO COURT, THEN JAIL, MARCH 28, 2003.  THAT WAS 3 YEARS AGO, AND IT IS STILL GOING ON.......

SOME WOMEN HAVE ASKED ME, "HOW DO YOU GO ON?"  "WHY DO YOU WAIT?"..................THE ANSWER IS, BECAUSE "I LOVE HIM."...................AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN ANSWER WHEN THE TIME COMES..........YOU WILL KNOW IF YOU SHOULD WAIT..........THE ANSWER WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE DEPTHS OF YOUR MIND..........AND HEART.

...............AND NOW, ONCE AGAIN, I WOULD LIKE TO WRITE PART 3 OF THE PRISONER'S COMMENTARY.........HIS NAME IS MIKE, BY THE WAY...

PART 3....THIS DOES NOT HOLD TRUE FOR ALL FEDERAL PRISONS.  I'VE SPOKEN TO JERSEY AND PENNSYLVANIA PRISONERS WHO'VE INDICATED THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN HARDCORE FED JOINTS WHERE YOU ARE NOT PLAYING PING PONG OR POOL.  MARION, FOR EXAMPLE, WITH IT'S 23 HOUR LOCK .  THE FEDS APPEAR NOT TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT A PRISONER'S FAMILY TIES WITH IT'S COUNTRY WIDE FACILITIES. 

FROM THE INFORMATION I HAVE READ, IT IS EVIDENT THAT PRISONERS AT GUNATANAMO BAY HAVE IT BAD.  STRIPPED OF ALL CIVILIAN RIGHTS DUE TO THEIR JURISDICTIONAL LOCATION AND SUBJECT TO INTERROGATIONAL TACTICS, NOT EVEN THOUGHT OF BY YOUR TYPICAL HOMETOWN POLICE DEPARTMENT.  HOPEFULLY THE PATRIOT ACT WILL BE AMENDED OR EXCISED TO AT LEAST PROVIDE THESE UNACCUSED BUT SUSPECTED PRISONERS SOME BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS.  THE ACLU IS CURRENTLY HOT ON THE TRAIL OF THESE ISSUES.  LET'S HOPE AND PRAY FOR THEIR PREVALENCE.  AND LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT THOSE PRISONERS HELD IN JURISDICTIONS OTHER THAN THE UNITED STATES."

......to be continued.........next time, we will hear Mike talking about the psychological<SPAN class=spell id=sp-26 title="Click here to replace with: logical, zodiacal, oligarchy, official, officials" style="PADDING-RIGHT: 2px; BACKGROUND-POSITION: left bottom; PADDING-LEFT: 2px; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: url(http://sdk.webmail.aol.com/sdk/20050527/images/bg_spellingErr.gif); PADDING-BOTTOM: 2px; CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 2px; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat-x; BACKGROUND-COLOR: yellow" _backupTitle="null"> aspects of being incarcerated for years.....

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE!...........FRAN

"A PRISONER'S COMMENTARY"..........PART 2

PART  2......."A PRISONER'S COMMENTARY"

"THERE SEEMS TO BE 3 BASIC CATEGORIES OF CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS:  1..THE OFFICER WHO'S JUST THERE TO DO HIS SHIFT, AND GET PAID.  2..THE OFFICER WHO GOES BEYOND HIS CALL OF DUTY TO HELP YOU OUT WITH YOUR PROBLEMS:  AND , 3.  THE OFFICER WHO GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO MAKE YOU MISERABLE ON HIS WATCH.  .......HE BELIEVS THAT ALL PRISONERS ARE SCUM OF THE EARTH, AND SHOULD BE TREATED ACCORDINGLY.

ALTHOUGH MY VOICE COMES FROM A STATE LEVEL, O BELIEVE IT HOLDS SOME IMPORTANCE IN GLEENING ITS FEDERAL COUNTERPART.  FOR EXAMPLE, IN PENNSYLVANIA, IN 1989, HUNDREDS OF MALE PRISONERS WERE MOVED INTO FEDERAL PRISONS ACROSS THE U.S.  ABOUT A YEAR LATER, UPON THEIR RETURN, MOST WERE DISAPPOINTED IN COMING BACK TO THEIR PARENT INSTITUTION.  REASONS RANGING FROM THE FEDS EXPANSIVE PROGRAMS, CANTEEN, RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES, LIKE POOL, PING-PONG, AS WELL AS NICER BUILDINGS, AND CELLS.  THE DOWNFALL BEING LACK OF VISITS DUE TO THE FAR DISTANCE OF THE LOCATION AND MORE EXPENSIVE PHONE CALLS."....................to be continued

A PRISONER'S COMMENTARY

AN INMATE HAS SENT ME A 12 PAGE COMMENTARY, THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU..............

"IT WASN'T MY GOAL IN LIFE TO BECOME A CONVICT GROWING UP.  I GUESS THE CIRCUMSTANCES, AT THOSE IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDHOOD AGES CAUSED ME TO BECOME WHAT I AM TODAY...A FELON.  NO DOUBT WE ARE ALL MOLDED BY OUR CHILDHOOD ENVIRONMENTS TO BECOME ONE KIND OF ADULT, OR ANOTHER.  THIS INCLUDES OUTSIDE INFLUENCES OTHER THAN FAMILY.  PARENTS WILL FOREVER NURTURE AND PRAY FOR THEIR CHILDREN TO BECOME HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL, REPUTABLE ADULTS.  OR AT LEAST MOST OF THEM WILL.  IN THE END, IT'S A ROLL OF THE DICE. 

ON TV, IN BOTH REAL AND FABRICATED CRIMINAL COURTROOMS, WE SEE DEFENDENTS BLAMING THEIR CRIMINAL   BEHAVIORS ON THEIR CHILDHOODS.  AND BECAUSE OF MY IMMERSION IN THE PENAL SYSTEM, FOR 3 COMBINED PERIODS OF 8 YEARS, I BELIEVE I AM JUSTIFIED IN STATING THAT A CHILDHOOD COULD BE A PARTIAL EXCUSE FOR COMMISION OF CRIMINAL ACTS.  IN SOME CASES, A  CHILDHOOD COULD BE SO HORRID, THAT THE DEFENDENT'S PERSONA IS SO WARPED.  IN A DEATH PENALTY CASE, REASON EXISTS FOR THIS PERSON TO BE BANNED FROM SOCIETY FOR LIFE, RATHER THAN MURDERED BY THE STATE..

THE FACT REMAINS THAT IN MY OPINION, 99% OF US HAVE PERSONAL CHOICE OR  FREE WILL.  THE OTHER 1% ARE ROBBED OF CHOICE BY SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTOR BEYOND THEIR CONTROL.  THE ONES WHO CAN'T KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG.  ON THE OTHER HAND, THE ONES CONTAINED UNDER THE 99% , THAT HAD A TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD, KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG, REGARDLESS.  THEY HAD THE FREE WILL OR CHOICE, NOT TO COMMIT THE ACT THAT PLACED THEM IN THE ENAL SYSTEM.  THEY ARE ACCOUNTABLE AND MUST BE ACCOUNTED FORIN THEIR CRIMES.  ALTHOUGH I MAY GRIPE ABOUT THE LENGTH. I DID THE CRIME, AND DESERVE THE TIME.

THE AUTHOR CAN GENERALIZE THAT 2 FACTORS EXIST FOR MEN AND WOMEN IN DEALING WITH A PRISON SENTENCE.  tHESE THINGS ARE PERSONAL TO EACH INDIVIDUAL AND THESE THINGS SUBJECT TO ALL AS A GROUP.

ONE FACTION ALLOWS MEN AND WOMEN TO BE RECIPIENTS OF THE LONLINESS, DEGRADMENT, LEARNED HARD-HEARTEDNESS (GUARDED EMOTIONS), ACCELERATED AGING, MYRIAD FORMS OF ABUSE, MIND GAMES AND A CHANGE OF THE CORE PERSONALITY, BETWEEN PRISON INTAKE, AND RELEASE.  I AM SURE THE AUDIENCE CAN NAME OR THINK OF OTHERS I'VE MISSED.  THE REMAINING FACTION, IS THE TREATMENT OF THE IMPRISONED MEN AND WOMEN, BY CORRECTIONAL PERSONNEl."...........to be continued......

THE MEN IN THE PRISONS ARE READING THIS JOURNAL, AND THEY JUST LOVE IT.  I HAVE STORIES FROM 6 MORE INMATES, WHO WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THEIR THOUGHTS WITH YOU..........

YESTERDAY, JIMMY SENT ME SEVERAL LETTERS.  IN ONE HE STATES, " TODAY IS THE 22ND DAY SINCE WE HAVE LAST SPOKEN.  WE SAVED $700, OR MORE IN PHONE CALLS, BUT I WOULD HAVE GLADLY GIVEN UP ........TO TALK TO YOU, AND HEARD YOUR SWEET, SWEET VOICE."

IN ANSWER TO A COMMENT.......WE WOULD NOT BE ADOPTING, BUT WOULD GO THE ROUTE OF MOTHER SURROGACY, AS JOAN LUNDON DID.

NITE!....AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!...........FRAN

VISITORS GO TO BAYSIDE PRISON

I'M SO HAPPY, BECAUSE JIMMY HAD 2 VISITORS AT PRISON TODAY.  THE MANAGER OF THE FOOD STORE WHERE HE WAS, AND STILL IS EMPLOYED, ALONG WITH HIS WIFE WENT TO SEE HIM.  I KNEW THEY WERE GOING, AS I HAD TO GIVE THEM ALL THE INFO ABOUT THE PRISON...DIRECTIONS, VISITING HOURS, AND BASICALLY WHAT TO EXPECT....THEY HAD TOLD ME , BEFOREHAND, THAT THEY HAD NEVER BEEN IN A PRISON, AND IT WAS A LITTLE SCARY.  I ASSURED THEM, THAT I HAD GONE THERE, BEFORE, ALONE, AND IF I COULD DO IT , THEY COULD, TOO...AS I MYSELF HAD NEVER GONE TO VISIT A PRISON, EITHER, BEFORE THIS ALL STARTED IN MY LIFE....

AND SO, THAY SPENT AROUND 6 HOURS WITH JIMMY, SITTING FACE TO FACE, ON CHAIRS........THEY SPENT 1 1/2 HOURS IN LINE FOR REGISTRATION, BEFOREHAND....THEY MUST HAVE LEFT THEIR HOUSE AT 5 AM , OR SO, TO GET THERE FOR 7AM REGISTRATION.

OF COURSE THEY TOLD ME ALL ABOUT JIMMY!........ACTUALLY I KNEW IT BEFORE THEY EVEN TOLD ME........JIMMY LOOKED HAPPY, BUBBLY ,AND BRIGHT, AND CHEERFUL, AS USUAL!...HE WAS LAUGHING, JOKING, TALKING, AS USUAL.........THAT IS MY HUSBAND FOR YOU!....ALWAYS CHEERFUL, NEVER DEPRESSED...ALWAYS LOOKING ON THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THINGS.....JIMMY IS HAPPY NO MATTER WHERE HE IS!

THEY CALLED ME FROM  THEIR CELL PHONE, AS THEY WERE DRIVING HOME, AND I SPOKE WITH THE WIFE FOR 20 MINUTES....EVERYONE SOUNDED HAPPY, AND IN UPBEAT SPIRITS!

WELL, THAT WAS SATURDAY, TODAY!  NOW IT'S ONLY 24 DAYS TILL PAROLE!

I MUST SAY ONE THING........MY HUSBAND HAS A VERY SPARKLING, ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY.....PEOPLE ARE JUST ATTRACTED TO HIM.......SOME PEOPLE HAVE PERSONA'S LIKE THAT, IN WHICH THEY MAGNETICALLY ATTRACT OTHERS TO THEM....AND THAT IS JIMMY!

I JUST HAVE TO SAY, THAT RIGHT NOW, I AM VERY, VERY HAPPY IN LIFE.  EVERYTHING , IN ACTUALITY, IS GOING VERY WELL.....EXCEPT OF COURSE, THAT I MISS JIMMY SO MUCH.  BUT, YOU SEE, WE ARE SO CONNECTED, THAT HE IS ALWAYS WITH ME.  HE TOLD ME IN TODAY'S LETTER, THAT EVERY NIGHT HE SENDS HIS GUARDIAN ANGEL TO ME, TO PROTECT ME.....AND I FEEL IT EVERYNIGHT..........JIMMY SAID, AROUND 2 AM, LAST NIGHT, "I FELT YOU ALL AROUND ME."   AND WHEN I SPOKE TO ROBERT'S MOM, THE INMATE WHOSE MOTHER CALLS ME , WITH A 2 PHONE CALL......I ASKED HER TO PLEASE TELL JIMMY THOSE EXACT WORDS....SHE LAUGHED.  I SAID, "PLEASE, SAY THOSE EXACT WORDS TO JIMMY....'I FELT YOU ALL AROUND ME LAST NIGHT, JIMMY.".............AND SHE SAID THOSE WORDS....THEN , TODAY, I GET THE LETTER FROM JIMMY WITH THE SAME WORDS, WRITTEN AT THE SAME TIME I FELT HIM WITH ME................INCREDIBLE.

AND SO, TRUTHFULLY, I SPEND A VERY GOOD LIFE.........QUIET, PEACEFUL....REALLY NO STRESS.  YES, AFTER 3 YEARS, I HAVE BEGUN TO ACTUALLY EXPECT STRESS FROM THE PRISON SYSTEM.  AND NOW, I AM EQUIPPED WITH SOMETHING EVEN STRONGER THAN THE PRISON SYSTEM....AND THAT IS GOD........JESUS.

SO WHEN ALL THAT "PRISON STUFF" GETS TO BE TOO MUCH, I JUST HAND IT OVER TO JESUS, AND LET HIM DEAL WITH IT ALL..........

IN THAT WAY, I LEAD A VERY GOOD LIFE, IN EVERY WHICH WAY........I HAVE A STRONG MARRIAGE, A VERY LOVING AND DEDICATED MAN........I AM FINANCIALLY SET, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, AND DON'T HAVE TO WORK, EVER AGAIN, EXCEPT IN DOING THINGS THAT I ENJOY, LIKE WRITING.  I PHYSICALLY FEEL BETTER THAN EVER..........I AM VERY CALM ALL THE TIME, AND LEAD A PEACEFUL LIFE, DOING THE NORMAL DAILY THINGS AT HOME, THAT MOST WOMEN DO.  WE HAVE A LOVING FAMILY OF 2 CATS AND 1 DOG........AND YES, WE DO PLAN TO START A FAMILY......YES START ONE, WHEN JIMMY IS OUT, AND THINGS ARE MORE SETTLED........YES!  YOU HEARD IT HERE, FOR THE FIRST TIME!........YES, WE WILL START A FAMILY, AND WE ARE BOTH IN OUR 50'S..........AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING NEGATIVE, JIMMY AND I HAVE MORE NOW, THAN EVER BEFORE, TO OFFER A CHILD.......OR CHILDREN.  WE HAVE THE TIME, PATIENCE, KNOWLEDGE, AND LOVE TO GIVE A CHILD..........I NEVER REALLY DID BELIEVE IN HAVING A CHILD AT A YOUNG AGE........NOT ENOUGH OF LIFE EXPERIENCE........AND TIME, AND PATIENCE..........

GOOD NIGHT, FOR NOW.............FRAN

INSEPERABLE.......

"INSEPERABLE"......THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE TO ME.....AND IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME............"INCREDIBLE," THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE TO ME..........

YES, JIMMY.  THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE TO ME..........

STILL NO PHONE COMMUNICATION...IT HAS NOW BEEN 23 DAYS WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN.

LETTERS ARRIVE EVERYDAY FROM JIMMY, AND I SEND HIM LETTERS EVERYDAY..........HE JOKES IN ONE LETTER, THAT THE OFFICERS WANT TO KNOW JUST WHO IS THIS MAN, AND WOMAN, WHO SENDS HIM SO MUCH MAIL..........SOMETIMES I SEND HIM 8 OR 10 THINGS AT ONE TIME............AND THEY LOVE MY CARDS, WITH ANIMALS, BECAUSE EVEN THE ENVELOPES HAVE BEAUTIFUL COLORFUL ENVELOPES , OF SCENES WITH ANIMALS........JIMMY TELLS ME THE OTHER INMATES BORROW THOSE CARDS, AND TRACE THE PICTURES OF THE ANIMALS, AS THEY LOVE THOSE CARDS!  TOMORROW, I WILL GO BUY SOME MORE...THIS TIME I'LL GET DOLPHINS, AND WHALES, AND COLORFUL PARROTS AND BIRDS.......I'VE SENT JIMMY AT LEAST 30 CARDS, SO FAR....ONE EACH DAY.

PLEASE, IF ANYONE CAN SPEND A FEW MINUTES WRITING TO AN INMATE, LET ME KNOW.  HE STILL DOESN'T GET MAIL, AND I SENT HIM A CARD, WHICH HE WAS VERY APPRECIATIVE OF.  HE HAS GOTTEN NO MAIL, SO I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE LET ME KNOW........

WELL, IT'S ONLY 25 MORE DAYS TILL JIMMY'S PAROLE..

HIS PAROLE DATE WAS CHANGED FROM MARCH 6TH, TO MARCH 21ST.....THAT IS ONLY 15 DAYS LONGER.  HOWEVER, JIMMY WON'T BE COMING HOME.....HE WILL BE TRANSPORTED TO THE HALF-WAY- BACK HOUSE, AND HAS TO BE THERE FOR 180 DAYS, NOT THE 90 DAYS THAT WERE FIRST PROMISED.  SO, THAT MEANS, HE WON'T BE ABLE TO COME HOME UNTIL SOMETIME IN THE FALL.  SO, IF ANYONE MAY HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED THAT THINGS IN MY LIFE WERE GOING TOO WELL, AND I MIGHT END THIS JOURNAL...WELL, BE ASSURED...THE LIFE OF A PRISONER'S WIFE KEEPS GOING ON AND ON......I DON'T KNOW...MAYBE INTO ETERNITY..........

IN RESPONDING TO "TASTYOFXTASY,"  WHO COMMENTED IN THE LAST ENTRY..............MARRIAGE IS A VERY SACRED THING, AS IT IS A COVENANT BETWEEN GOD, AND THE 2 MARRIAGE PARTNERS..........NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU..........NOT PEOPLE, NOT GOVERNMENT, AND NOT EVEN PRISON WALLS, ALTHOUGH IT MAY SEEM SO DIFFICULT, MOST OF THE TIME.  IN MARRIAGE, PEOPLE TAKE VOWS, AND FORM A COVENANT, OR PACT, BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND GOD.....YOU ARE A PART OF YOUR HUSBAND...THAT IS WHAT MAKES MARRIAGE SO GREAT........YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE.ONE NEEDS A RIGHT AND A LEFT HAND TO CLAP, AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS IN MARRIAGE...YOU NEED A HUSBAND AND WIFE.  YOU ARE PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY PART OF EACH OTHER.  DIVORCE IS A  MAN MADE LAW, BUT IN GOD'S LAW, DIVORCE DOES NOT EVEN EXIST....ONCE MARRIED, YOU FOREVER BELONG TO EACH OTHER. 

AND IT IS IMPORTANT TO ALWAYS REMEMBER, THAT A WIFE, ( OR HUSBAND) , CANNOT BE FORCED TO TESTIFY AGAINST HER SPOUSE, IN A COURTROOM....THAT IS THE LAW.

YES, MARRIAGE IS THE MOST BINDING FORCE IN OUR WORLD.......

YOU SEE, I LIVED WITH A MAN FOR 28 YEARS, AND I WILL ALWAYS SAY IT IS MUCH BETTER TO BE MARRIED....THERE IS NO COMPARISON.......WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME, IT IS THE MOST WONDERFUL FEELING...UNIMAGINABLE.......................YOU SEE, WHEN I STARTED TO LIVE WITH THE OTHER MAN, IN THE EARLY 70'S, IT WAS FASHIONABLE TO DO IT, AT THAT TIME....AND NOW, IN THE 2000'S, IT IS ONCE AGAIN FASHIONABLE, AS SO MANY PEOPLE LIVE TOGETHER..........HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF, IN CYCLES...........WELL, I WILL SPEAK FOR MYSELF.  IT IS BETTER TO BE BOUND IN MARRIAGE...TO FEEL THAT DEEP LOVE AND COMMITTMENT.....AND YES, TO ACTUALLY FEEL AND KNOW, THAT YOU BOTH BELONG TO EACH OTHER...........

ALSO, WHAT YOU MENTIONED IN THE COMMENT, THAT YOU EXPERIENCE AS A PRISONER'S WIFE...IT IS JUST WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING THROUGH, SO DON'T FEEL YOU ARE ALONE.........WE ARE ALL TOGETHER IN THIS!

                                                     FRAN

PS....WHEN THE PHONE CALLS ARE VERY LOW, TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO KEEP TRYING DIFFERENT PHONES IN THE PRISON...HE MAY FIND A LOUDER ONE, AS WAS THE CASE WITH JIMMY AND I..............WHAT I ALWAYS DO, IS KEEP A NOTEBOOK BY THE PHONE.  THEN WHEN JIMMY CALLS, I GO DOWN THE LIST OF THINGS ABOUT THE HOUSEHOLD, THAT I NEED TO DISCUSS WITH HIM, THAT HAPPENED THROUGHOUT THE DAY........JIMMY TELLS ME "OK, FRAN, GO DOWN THE LIST.".....WE DO THAT FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES OR SO...IF I NEED AN ANSWER FOR SOMETHING, HE WILL GIVE ME THE ANSWER IN HIS NEXT CALL, OR WRITE ME A LETTER........THEN, FOR THE REST OF THE CALL, WE DEVOTE IT TO SAYING LOVING THINGS.  ALSO, FOR THE LAST CALL OF THE DAY, AT NIGHT, WE TRY TO ONLY DEVOTE IT TO LOVE THOUGHTS...SINCE IT IS BEFORE BEDTIME, AND THEN WE CAN LAY IN EACH OTHER'S LOVING ARMS WHEN WE GO TO BED.........THE WHOLE KEY TO PRISON PHONE CALLS IS, BEING ORGANIZED, AND NOT LOSING ONE SECOND OF THE CALL!

 

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PRISONER'S WIFE

DO YOU WANT TO STEP INTO MY WORLD, FOR JUST ONE MOMENT, AND SEE HOW MIXED UP OUR PRISON SYSTEM IS IN THIS COUNTRY.  TRUTHFULLY WHAT IT TRIES TO DO , IS DRIVE THE WIFE AT HOME ........INSANE.  AND IT DOES A VERY GOOD JOB TRYING TO DO IT.

I BELIEVE THAT THE PRISONS  SHOULD BE RUN BY PRIVATE SECTORS.  IT IS APPARENT, THAT THE STATE, CANNOT HANDLE THE OVERLOAD OF WORK, AND ARE DOING A MISERABLE JOB, BECAUSE THEY ARE CONFUSED, AND DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING, TO PUT IT PLAINLY. I KNOW THAT IN SOME STATES , SOME PRISONS ARE BEING RUN BY PRIVATE SECTORS.........

OK, HERE WE GO.  AT 11 AM, I STARTED MAKING PHONE CALLS.  

1...I CALLED BAYSIDE STATE PRISON....THE AUTOMATED SYSTEM , IS WHAT YOU GET.  I HAD TO FIND OUT THE VISITING HOURS.  THE AUTOMATED VOICE TELLS ME ABOUT THE VISITING HOURS ON DEC. 24, 2005.........IT IS NOW FEB. 21, 2006........A NEW YEAR, A DIFFERENT MONTH........DOES IT MAKE SENSE?  IS THAT THE EFFICIENT RUNNING OF AN INSTITUTION, I MUST ASK?

2.  SO, NOW I CALL SOCIAL SERVICES.  THEY GIVE ME THE PROPER VISITING HOURS.........OR, I SHOULD SAY, 'I HOPE THEY ARE CORRECT."

3. A FEW MINUTES LATER, I RECEIVE A PHONE CALL FROM BAYSIDE, THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF THE PHONES.  SHE SAYS SHE RECEIVED A COMPLAINT THAT I AM UNABLE TO RECEIVE PHONE CALLS  (I KNOW THAT IS THE COMPLAINT JIMMY FILED AROUND 2 WEEKS AGO).

I GAVE HER JIMMY'S SBI NUMBER, AND SHE LOOKED HIM UP.  NOW, SHE TELLS ME THAT JIMMY HAS NOT FILED THE PAPERWOEK, FOR THE PHONES TO BE STARTED.  I SAID THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE, AS JIMMY IS FAMILIAR WITH THE SYSTEM, AND IT MUST BE THAT THE PAPERWORK GOT LOST, SOMEHOW.  I SAID, 'CAN YOU PLEASE NOTIFY HIM, SO THAT HE CAN RE-SUBMIT THE PAPERWORK."  SHE SAYS NO...SHE HAS NO CONTACT WITH THE INMATES.  I ASK , HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE , ONCE YOU GET THE PAPERWORK....SHE SAYS 5 BUSINESS DAYS.  I SAID, CAN'T YOU PLEASE RUSH IT THROUGH, AS IT HAS BEEN 21 DAYS I HAVE NOT SPOKEN TO MY HUSBAND.  SHE SAID, NO.

3...I CALL THE SOCIAL WORKER.......I EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON.......SHE ANSWERS ME BY SAYING, "CAN'T YOU COMMUNICATE THIS TO YOUR HUSBAND?"  "HOW?," I ANSWER.  "WELL, DOESN'T HE CALL YOU?"..........OK, SO NOW YOU SEE WHAT GOES ON HERE..........NO COMMUNICATION, AND TOTAL INEFFICIENCY IN THE PRISON SYSTEM..........THEN, SHE SAYS, " I WILL TELL HIS SOCIAL WORKER."   ...OK, SO SHE WASN'T EVEN HIS SOCIAL WORKER.  "WHAT IS THE NAME OF HIS SOCIAL WORKER?", I ASK.............YES, NO ONE EVEN HAS THE COMMON COURTESY TO TELL YOU ANYTHING, AS THEY SHOULD LET YOU KNOW WHO HIS SOCIAL WORKER IS, UPON ARRIVAL TO THE PRISON..........I'M NOT SURE IF IT IS INEFFECIENCY, OR IGNORANCE, OR MAYBE A LITTLE OF BOTH.........TRUTHFULLY, I HAVE NOT YET FOUND MANY PEOPLE WHO WORK IN THE PRISON SYSTEM TO BE OF A HUMANE NATURE....IT IS NOT THAT THEY DON'T EXIST...SOME ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE..........IT'S JUST THAT THE WHOLE SITUATION ABOUT PRISONS, IS A VERY MIXED UP ONE, FROM THE FAMILY'S POINT OF VIEW.,

ALTHOUGH I MAY HAVE A HUSBAND IN PRISON, I STILL WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED WITH SOME RESPECT.  I AM NOT FROM THE STREET...I AM NOT A DRUG-ADDICT, OR PROSTITUTE.  I AM AN EDUCATED, PROFESSIONAL PERSON, AND I WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED AS ONE.  FOR THAT MATTER, EVERYONE, DESPITE THEIR SITUATION SHOULD BE TREATED WITH RESPECT, AS THEY BELONG TO THE HUMAN RACE.  AS A NURSE, I WORKED MAINLY WITH DRUG ADDICTS, HOMELESS, AND STREET PEOPLE.  I TREATED THEM WITH RESPECT, AND THEY ALWAYS SEEMED TO APPRECIATE THAT. 

AND AS FAR AS THESE PRISONS ARE CONCERNED, IT IS THE WORST I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE....I ONLY WISH THAT OTHERS IN OUR COUNTRY UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENS WITHINN THESE PRISONS....IT IS A TOP SECRET, BUT WHEN YOU ARE PART OF IT, YOU REALIZE THE TERRIBLENESS OF IT ALL, AND MAY I EVEN USE THE WORD, "CORRUPTION."

SO, THIS IS WHAT TAKES PLACE, ON A DAILY BASIS....PLENTY OF PHONE CALLS, BUT YOU NEVER GET ANYWHERE..............SO, I HOPE THE SOCIAL WORKER TELLS HIM.  I AM ALSO SENDING HIM A NOTE ABOUT IT, AND I'VE CONTACTED THE MOTHER OF AN INMATE, WHO MAY BE ABLE TO GET THE MESSAGE TO JIMMY. WHEN HER SON CALLS HER...I AM CURRENTLY WAITING FOR HER CALL BACK TO ME. 

AND SO, THAT IS IT........THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO TELL YOU ABOUT JIMMY'S PAROLE...........IT IS TOO UPSETING FOR ME TO EVEN WRITE IT RIGHT NOW.........YOU WILL ALL BE SHOCKED, WHEN I TELL YOU WHAT IS HAPPENING..........LIKE I SAID, THE PRISON SYSTEM NEEDS RE-FORMATION......

THANK GOD FOR THIS JOURNAL, WHERE I CAN COME AND LET MY THOUGHTS OUT...

ALL THE GUYS AT BAYSIDE HAVE BEEN READING THIS JOURNAL, AS I MAIL IT TO JIMMY..........THEY JUST LOVE IT........THE SAYING AROUND BAYSIDE IS , "FRAN ROCKS!"........THEY ARE IN FAVOUR OF THIS JOURNAL, THAT THE PUBLIC IS BEING MADE AWARE OF WHAT GOES ON BEHIND BARBED WIRE!..................FRAN

BAYSIDE STATE PRISON

NO PHONE CALLS FROM JIMMY, YET.  IT IS NOW 16 DAYS.  ANOTHER READER OF THIS JOURNAL, WHOSE HUSBAND IS AT BAYSIDE, HAS ALSO NOT RECEIVED ANY PHONE CALLS...I'M WONDERING IF BAYSIDE STILL EXISTS, OR WHAT!  DID IT SUDDENLY DISAPPEAR INTO THIN AIR?....IT ALWAYS HAD A VERY CREEPY FEELING TO IT, WHEN I WOULD VISIT JIMMY THE FIRST YEAR...THE SUMMER OF 2003.

IT WAS LIKE , I WOULD DRIVE THERE, THROUGH THICK FORESTS, WINDING ROADS....IN THE MIST OF THE MORNING.......I WOULD PASS THE CORNFIELDS, AND BARNS AND SILOS, FINALLY ARRIVING AT 7AM....TO ME, IT WAS KIND OF SPOOKY!....BUT THEN AGAIN, I'VE NEVER BEEN IN PRISON, MYSELF!

TO GET THERE AT 7 AM, I WOULD LEAVE MY HOUSE AT 5:30 AM, THE LATEST....WHICH MEANT I HAD TO GET UP AT LEAST AT 4:30 AM....I WAS LIKE THE ONLY CAR DRIVING DOWN THE GARDEN STATE PARKWAY AT THAT TIME OF DAY, ON A SATURDAY, OR SUNDAY MORNING........WHAT WE WILL DO FOR LOVE, I JUST DON'T KNOW!

 I RECEIVE A LETTER FROM JIMMY EVERYDAY, AND I SEND HIM SEVERAL LETTERS, CARDS AND ENVELOPES EVERYDAY, FILLED WITH NEWSPAPER ARTICLES  OF THINGS THAT WILL INTEREST HIM, AND SOME COMPUTER PRINT-OUTS.........I RE-STARTED HIS SUBSCRIPTION TO THE "WALL STREET JOURNAL.".......HE JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT READING THAT PAPER.......NOT ONLY FOR THE STOCK-MARKET AND BUSINESS, BUT FOR INTERESTING ARTICLES, MANY OF WHICH HE SENDS ME.

HE ASKED ME TO ONCE AGAIN ORDER HIM 2 BOOKS ON-LINE, WHICH I JUST DID THROUGH BARNES AND NOBLE.  THEY ARE 2 PAPERBACK BOOKS BY CLIVE CUSSLER, FICTION ADVENTURE, CALLED "VIXEN 05," AND "TIDEWATER."  JIMMY SAID THESE ARE THE ONLY TWO, OF THAT AUTHOR HE HASN'T READ.

SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, WE ARE KEEPING BUSY, AND THE TIME IS MOVING ALONG................

I HAVE NOW GOTTEN INTO PLAYING "BOOKWORM, " ON THE COMPUTER...IT IS FUN, AND CAN KEEP YOU GOING FOR HOURS!......

ANYONE INTERESTED IN WRITING TO AN INMATE,  AKA, PEN-PAL, JUST LET ME KNOW, AND I WILL GIVE YOU ALL THE FACTS.........HE IS A 41/M, SINGLE, WHO HAS NOT RECEIVED ANY MAIL IN 2 1/2 YEARS.  HE IS AT BAYSIDE STATE PRISON..  HE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO WRITE TO, AND HE ONLY HAS AROUND 5 MORE MONTHS LEFT TIL PAROLE...............SO, JUST LET ME KNOW!

MAY YOU ALL HAVE A NICE DAY!................FRAN