SMILE

I MUST NOW, ONCE AGAIN, START PRACTICING TO SMILE.......YOU SEE, LAST SPRING, WHEN THINGS STARTED LOOKING UP, I STARTED SMILING, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 3/03, WHEN JIMMY WENT TO PRISON.......ALL THROUGHOUT THE SUMMER 2005, I WAS SMILING.........BUT I STOPPED IN DECEMBER 2005,  WHEN THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED.........I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR, TODAY, AND SAW MY FACE WAS DROOPING DOWNWARDS........I BET A LOT OF PRISONER'S WIVES GO THROUGH THIS.............I ALWAYS TELL JIMMY, I CAN TELL IF A WOMAN IS A PRISONER'S WIFE, BY THE INTENSE, SAD LOOK IN HER EYES, AND THE EXPRESSION ON HER FACE.........YES, DURING MY ORDEAL THESE YEARS, I HAVE BECOME VERY PERCEPTIVE ABOUT THE PRISONER'S WIFE.......IT IS A CERTAIN LOOK SHE CARRIES ON HER FACE..........IT IS AS IF "SHE IS BRANDED."  IT IS A SADNESS SHE CARRIES WITHIN HER SOUL.

I MUST TELL YOU, I WILL CONTINUE TO WRIIE THIS JOURNAL, EVEN WHEN JIMMY COMES HOME.......I BELIEVE THROUGH THE COMMENTS YOU WRITE, THAT THIS JOURNAL HELPS THOSE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD, AWAITING THEIR LOVED ONES IN PRISON.........

I'LL TELL YOU A LITTLE SECRET THAT HELPED ME LAST SPRING....TO START SMILING.............I WAS READING A SPIRITUAL BOOK THAT SAID "GOD WANTS YOU TO SMILE AND BE HAPPY."  IT INSTRUCTED YOU TO SMILE IN THE MORNING , AS YOU SHOWERED....EVEN IF IT HURT THE MUSCLES IN YOUR FACE.......AND SO, I STARTED DOING JUST THAT........AND IT WAS VERY HARD AT FIRST....AND YES, THE MUSCLES IN MY FACE HURT........AND SUDDENLY MY SAD EYES STARTED TO GLOW AND RADIATE HAPPINESS.

AND SO, I WILL START ALL OVER AGAIN....TO SMILE....AND I WILL BELIEVE IN ALL THOSE THINGS IN LIFE, S.UCH AS MIRACLES............I WILL START AGAIN, FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, TO START AFRESH IN LIFE....TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF...CALL IT WHAT YOU MAY.........WE ALL DO IT TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD............

AND I WILL START SMILING AGAIN....AND THE MORE I DO IT, THE EASIER IT WILL BECOME............AND I WILL BE A BETTER PERSON, TO HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE OF LIFE...........

I WILL HAVE FAITH, NOT ONLY IN GOD AND THE UNIVERSE, BUT IN MAN, HIMSELF..........

                                                                             FRAN