CRAF, WEST TRENTON, NJ

HI EVERYONE, AND THANKS FOR READING MY JOURNAL!...WELL, EXACTLY HOW IS NEW YEAR'S FOR A PRISONER AT CRAF?........VERY TERRIBLE, LET ME TELL YOU.........MOST OF THE MEN ARE DEPRESSED...........JIMMY SAYS IT IS LIKE A BIG, BARREN WAREHOUSE..........VERY LITTLE READING MATERIAL.....WINDOWS ARE COVERED IN PLASTIC, DUE TO THE COLD.........ONE SMALL WINDOW THAT JIMMY WALKS TO EACH DAY, TO LOOK OUTSIDE, FOR A FEW MINUTES............NO RADIOS...........NO NEWSPAPERS........THEY ARE LET OUT OF THEIR CELLS FOR A SHORT WHILE EACH DAY, AT WHICH TIME THEY SHAVE, SHOWER, AND MAKE PHONE CALLS.............TRUTHFULLY, THERE IS NOTHING TO DO THERE, AS IT IS AN EVALUATION AND HOLDING AREA...IT IS NOT LIKE A REGULAR PRISON, WHERE YOU ARE ALLOWED YOUR OWN RADIO AND TV, AND CAN GO TO THE PRISON LIBRARY, AND WILL HOLD A SMALL JOB IN THE PRISON...........NO, NOTHING..........BOREDOM, AND I SUPPOSE APATHY CAN SET IN FOR SOME.................I'M REALLY SURPRISED AT THE PENAL SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY.............ONE CAN GET SICK PHYSICALLY, AND MENTALLY, BEING LOCKED UP FOR DAYS ON END, IN A VERY SMALL PLACE, WITH LITTLE OR NO STIMULATION.......CRAF IS GOOD FOR WHAT IT IS, BUT YOU MUST REALIZE, MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES BY KINTOCK...HE IS INNOCENT, AND YET BECAUSE HE GOT CAUGHT IN THE HOLIDAY TIMES, HE HAS BEEN KEPT AT CRAF....IN AN 8'X9' CELL...TO ME THAT IS LIKE TREATING AN ANIMAL, ONLY WORSE..........JIMMY IS A BIG MAN, AS MANY ARE THERE........HE IS 3OO LBS, AND SHARES THAT CELL WITH A ROOMMATE, WHO IS BIPOLAR, AND TALKS ALL DAY AND NIGHT..............EVEN THE OTHER PRISONERS HEAR HIM ALL NIGHT, AND IN THE MORNING THEY ASK JIMMY HOW HE CAN STAND IT..........JIMMY JUST IGNORES IT, AND ON THE OTHER HAND, LISTENS TO THIS FELLOW ENDLESS STORIES.........JIMMY WRITES ME VERY LONG LETTERS, AND HE HAS TO LEAN ON THE TOILET THAT IS NEXT TO HIS BED, WHEN HE IS WRITING THEM......YUCK...HOW DISGUSTING.......I JUST DON'T GET IT........JIMMY SAID THERE IS A MAIN TV, THAT IS ON ALMOST ALL DAY...THE TV CAN BE SEEN FROM THE FIRST 6 CELLS....HE IS IN TH 7TH, SO HE CAN'T SEE IT, BUT HEARS IT......ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, THE INMATES PUT ON A MOVIE, THAT PLAYED OVER AND OVER...,.,JIMMY SAYS HE WISHED THEY HAD PUT ON THE NEW YEAR'S CELEBRATION WITH DICK CLARK...BUT NO. THAT IS HOW THE INMATES ARE...THEY WANT TO FORGET IT IS A HOLIDAY, I GUESS.......JIMMY CALLED ME AT 5PM TODAY....I HAD JUST GOTTEN UP, BECAUSE IT IS GETTING HARDER EVERYDAY TO GET UP  ( YOUWILL BE PROUD OF ME, HOWEVER, BECAUSE I HAD THE ENERGY TO CLEAN THE ENTIRE HOUSE, ON NEW YEAR'S EVE....MOPPING FLOORS, CLEANING STOVE...ETC., ETC).........WITH RADIO PLAYING IN THE KITCHEN, AND TV IN THE LIVING ROOM..............

SO WHEN JIMMY CALLED ME TODAY, HE SAID, "FRAN, THERE ARE AROUND 40 MEN OUT OF THEIR CELLS, AND WALKING AROUND, AND CAN YOU IMAGINE, I AM THE ONLY ONE TALKING ON THE PHONE"..............YES, THE POOR PRISONERS ARE SO DEPRESSED, THEY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THEIR FAMILIES TO EVEN CALL THEM ON A HOLIDAY...............AND SO, MY LOVING HUSBAND, MADE 2 , 15 MINUTE COLLECT CALLS TO ME.......THE FIRST CALL, I WASN'T IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD, BUT BY THE SECOND, I WAS BETTER.........AND JIMMY APOLOGIZED TO ME, ONCE AGAIN FOR PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS............WHAT CAN I SAY...I'M IN LOVE WITH THE MAN...............AND BY THE 2ND CALL, WE WERE ONCE AGAIN JOKING AND LAUGHING, AND WHISPERING SWEET NOTHINGS INTO EACH OTHERS EARS........

I AM SO GLAD IT IS NOW 2006.........THIS WEEK , JIMMY WILL BE MOVED OUT OF CRAF.....I KNOW HIS DESTINATION, BUT WILL STILL KEEP IT A SECRET.......

 

................................."JIMMY'S LOVE LETTER TO ME"

.....THIS WILL BE A HAPPY NEW YEAR...2006....FROM YOUR HUSBAND

DEAR MRS. WIFE,

I AM THINKING ABOUT THE SAYING, "IT IS BETTER TO GIVE, THAN RECEIVE."....................I THINK IT MAY HAVE MISSED THE POINT.

THE TWO ACTS ARE INSEPERABLE......GIVING IS RECEIVING.

THE ULTIMATE GIFT, UNQUALIFIED LOVE, IS THE ULTIMATE SELF-REALIZATION.

IN THAT, YOU ARE, FRAN, MY SELF-REALIZATION, OF LOVE AND TRUTH, AND BEAUTY.

NO OTHER THING MATTERS......NOT TIME......NOT DISTANCE, FOR AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU TO GIVE MY LOVE TO,........I AM FREE.......I AM COMPLETE........I AM REAL.....I KNOW I HAVE A VALUE.

THIS WILL BE OUR YEAR.......THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES......AND IT IS GOING TO BE WONDERFUL.

    LOVE,   YOUR JIMMY    (PLEASE READ THIS, FRAN , ON 12/31/05...AT 11:59 PM........JUST BEFORE THE NEW YEAR COMES IN)