I AM HERE, BETTY...JUST CLEANING UP THE KITCHEN, AND THINKING HOW UNFAIR, AND HOW UNJUST LIFE IS.  IT IS SAD, BUT I GUESS THAT IS HOW IT IS FOR SOME OF US. 

I HAD EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE, EARLIER.  THINGS CAME EASY TO ME.....PROFESSION, CAREER, EDUCATION, TRAVEL.  BUT NOW, WHAT I WANTED MOST, IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO HAPPEN....THAT IS, A MARRIAGE , AND A FAMILY.  ALTHOUGH I AM 52 YEARS OLD, JIMMY STILL WANTS TO HAVE CHILDREN.  IT MAY BE THROUGH ADOPTION, OR SURROGATE MOTHER.....AND BELIEVE ME, JIMMY IS SUCH A WONDERFUL MAN...AND A FAMILY MAN AT THAT......HE WILL MAKE A VERY GOOD FATHER.......

AS A WOMAN, I FEEL IT IS THE RIGHT OF A MAN, WHO WOULD BE A WONDERFUL FATHER AND PROVIDER FOR HIS FAMILY, TO HAVE A CHILD.............JIMMY IS THE TYPE OF MAN THAT WOULD ACTUALLY TAKE GOOD CARE OF A CHILD, AND HE WOULD TEACH HIM GOOD WAYS

WHEN WE GOT MARRIED 5 YEARS AGO, JIMMY TOLD ME HE WANTED A CHILD..............THAT WAS THE SADNESS OF HIM GOING TO PRISON AT THAT POINT IN OUR LIFE............THE CLOCK IS TICKING, BUT EVEN THOUGH MANY PEOPLE OPPOSE ME HAVING A CHILD AT MY AGE........I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IN WHAT THEY SAY...........

SO, EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS, EVERY STEP BACKWARDS, BOTHERS ME MORE THAN IF I WERE 20 YEARS OLD, AND THIS WERE HAPPENING.

THERE ARE SO MANY WOMEN OUT THERE WO HAVE BABIES...LIKE IT IS NOTHING........

BUT FOR ME, GOD NEVER BLESSED ME WITH A CHILD.......IT IS NOW, AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE, THAT I MARRIED A WONDERFUL MAN, THAT I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A FAMILY....IT WOULD MAKE LIFE COMPLETE..........AND WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO GIVE AT OUR AGE........

BUT THE ODDS SEEM AGAINST US.........

I THINK GOD IS PUNISHING ME FOR SOMETHING....BUT I KNOW NOT WHAT.....

CINDY...IT'S GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU...I MISSED YOUR E-MAILS........HOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER, NOW.

.............FRAN