Sunday, March 12, 2006

SOME THOUGHTS FOR A SUNDAY

HI EVERYONE!

JIMMY CALLED ME TWICE TODAY, AND I'M WAITING FOR HIS THIRD CALL, IN A LITTLE WHILE.  WE ARE BOTH REAL EXCITED ABOUT HIS PAROLE ON 3/21, WHICH IS NOT THIS TUESDAY, BUT THE NEXT....HE SENT ME A LIST OF HIS CLOTHES, AND I WILL CALL HIS FRIEND, WHO WILL TAKE THEM TO THE HALF-WAY BACK HOUSE, WHEN HE GETS THERE.

WE HAVE SO MUCH TO  BE THANK-FULL FOR.........NOT ONLY EACH OTHER, BUT SO MANY THINGS IN LIFE...........I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN ACHIEVER IN LIFE, AND CONTINUE TO DO SO, AS WELL AS JIMMY....WHO DESPITE HIS CRIME, HAS ALWAYS ACIEVED AND STILL ACHIEVES GREAT THINGS......I AM BLESSED TO BE HIS WIFE.

AS FOR ME, I WILL CONTINUE WITH MY PURSUIT OF A DOCTORAL DEGREE AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY, TEACHER'S COLLEGE, NEW YORK.  I HAVE ALREADY BEEN ACCEPTED, AND NEED TO START DOING MY  COURSE WORK. MY DOCTORATE RIGHT NOW, IS IN "NURSING EDUCATION AND RESEARCH," BUT AFTER GOING THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE, I MAY CHANGE IT TO A SOCIAL STUDIES DEGREE, AND DO RESEARCH IN THE FIELD OF "THE WIVES AND CHILDREN OF PRISONERS."  MUCH RESEARCH AND STUDY IS NEEDED IN THIS AREA OF LIFE, AS I HAVE LEARNED THROUGH THESE 3 YEARS OF BEING A PRISONER'S WIFE.  ANOTHER POSSIBILTY, COULD BE "INTERNATIONAL HEALTH, AND DO STUDIES IN HEALTH CARE, ON A WORLD-WIDE BASIS (OR WORLD HUNGER, OVER-POPULATION, AND DISEASES LIKE AIDS).  THERE IS A LOT OUT THERE....SO MUCH TO DO RESEARCH ON...SO MANY PEOPLE TO HELP ON A NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL LEVEL.......

ONE READER OF THIS JOURNAL ASKED ME, HOW DO I DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO TELL ME NOT TO WAIT FOR MY HUSBAND JIMMY, WHILE HE IS IN PRISON?  WELL, I TRUTHFULLY NEVER CAME ACROSS A PERSON LIKE THAT, BECAUSE JIMMY IS A WONDERFUL MAN, WHO SIMPLY COMMITTED A CRIME.  EVERYONE LOVES MY HUSBAND.  NO ONE EVER TOLD ME TO LEAVE HIM.  JIMMY IS NOT A JUNKIE, AN ALCOHOLIC, ...HE IS NOT A THIEF, A ROBBER, OR ANY TERRIBLE THING......HE IS A REFINED, INTELLIGENT MAN.  AS FOR ME, YOU SEE, I WORKED WITH DRUG ADDICTS AND ALCOHOLICS, AND AIDS PATIENTS FROM THE STREET....JUNKIES, THAT IS.......THE WORST, FROM THE STREETS OF HARLEM, AND NEW YORK CITY.  AND ON TOP OF IT ALL, THE MAN I LIVED WITH, BEFORE JIMMY, WAS A PROFESSOR, BUT HE TOO WAS AN ALCOHOLIC AND LATER DRUG ADDICT....CRACK ADDICT, AND I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE OTHER THINGS , TOO.  AND THAT MAN WAS A PhD GRADUATE OF COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY...YES, HE HAD A DOCTORATE.  AND HE TAUGHT IN SOME OF THE BEST UNIVERSITIES IN OUR COUNTRY....FAIRLIEGH DICKINSON, MONTCLAIR, PRINCETON, UNLV, KEAN, RUTGERS...AND OTHERS.  AND I WAS WITH HIM, THROUGH REHAB THE FIRST TIME AROUND.......HE DID HIS DETOX JUST FINE.......OH YES, HE WAS JUST FINE........HE WAS OUTSTANDING IN HIS PROGRAM...........HE COULD NOT STAND THE SMELL OF LIQUOR...NO MORE DRUGS......AND YES, HE TURNED TO GOD.  DID HIS 12 STEP PROGRM. HE CAME TO CHURCH WITH ME ALL THE TIME...THE PRIEST S JUST LOVED HIM.  AND YES, MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS, IT LASTED A NICE 8 YEARS. 

AND THEN SUDDENLY, AFTER WE WERE LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, I SMELLED ALCOHOL ON HIS BREATH.  AND THEN THE LIES STARTED.......HE WAS A SNEAKY, AT HOME DRINKER.........AND ABOUT THE CRACK, HE SAID IT WAS ONLY RECREATIONAL..........UNTIL HE BECAME VIOLENT, TOWARDS ME, AND MY LIFE WAS IN DANGER.........AS HE THREW THINGS AT ME....TARGETED MY HEAD, WITH HEAVY OBJECTS.....KNOCKED OUT SOME TEETH, AND WAS SETTING FIRES EVERY MINUTE.  AND I WAS FRIGHTENED BECAUSE I HAD AN RN LICENSE , AND A MORTGAGE TO PAY, AND BILLS...AND I WAS SCARED THAT ONE DAY THE COPS WOULD COME IN THE HOUSE AND SEE ALL HIS CRACKED GLASS PIPES THROWN AROUND......AND I WOULD BE THE ONE LOCKED UP, EVEN THOUGH I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.........AND I CAN STILL SMELL THAT SWEET SMOKE OF CRACK, WHICH PERMEATED THE ENTIRE HOUSE........I FEEL TO VOMIT EVEN TO THINK ABOUT IT NOW,,,,,, AND NO MATTER HOW I BEGGED, HE WOULDN'T STOP. AND THINGS GOT WORSE, UNTIL HE WENT TO CALIFORNIA, TO THE BETTY FORD CLINIC, AND I MET AND MARRIED JIMMY IN THAT PERIOD OF TIME.

SO, I KNOW YOU READERS DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY NOW....YOU CAN ARGUE BACK WITH ME, BUT I'LL SAY IT ANYHOW........."ONCE AN ADDICT, WHETHER IT BE DRUGS, OR ALCOHOL, ALWAYS AN ADDICT."

SO WHEN YOUR MAN IS IN PRISON, AND YOU THINK HE IS REFORMED, AND WILL NEVER DO DRUGS AGAIN, YOU'D BETTER THINK ABOUT IT, BECAUSE MOST STATISTICS SAY HE WILL START AGAIN, EVEN IF IT TAKES YEARS........

THINK ABOUT IF YOU WANT TO WAIT FOR YOUR DRUG ADDICT, AND IF IT'S WORTH RUINING YOUR WHOLE LIFE........

OK, YA ALL.....I'M WAITING FOR YOU HEAD ON!   LOL.........COME ON AND GIVE IT TO ME....I KNOW YOU HATE ME FOR SAYING THIS............BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.  ......................IF YOU THINK YOUR DRUG ADDICT, OR ALCHOLIC WILL REFORM, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME...............FRAN

6 comments:

redpoppy007 said...

What you say is true from what I have heard and seen.

reshplatz04 said...

Fran,
I asked you about how do you respond when people tell you to leave someone who is in jail.  I asked it because people respond terribly to me, simply because he IS in jail, regardless of what he did.  [violating probation] They just hear the word JAIL and immediately freak out.  
However, I cannot agree with your remarks about addicts.  They are always 'in recovery' but without a strong support system, like a loving family, they are bound to relapse.    Check out www.teenchallenge.com for some inspiring testimonies of people who have been clean and are serving the Lord now, with families.  My husband is wonderful too, and people love him.  But he needs strong support as do all recovering folks.  Perhaps your sour relationship with this former person has colored your views?  The same base of thinking for supporting someone is prison can be said for supporting a recovering addict. Support greatly reduces recidivism.
Thanks,
brenda resh

reshplatz04 said...

I would also like to add that God can deliver from drugs and alcohol just like He can deliver us from any sins.  Porn, gluttony, gossip, you name it.  I refuse to throw away a human being because of an addiction when I could have been thrown away as well because of my sins. If a person has a true saving knowledge of Christ and the will to change, and a strong support system, it is possible. Be positive!
brenda

sugar1337 said...

I don't agree once an addict always an addict....I have too many people in my life that are living proof of that...however it does take strong will power and determination to have the power to keep clean.  And the people I know that are no longer addicts have no desire to go back to that lifestyle.  People can change, but very few are willing to put the effort forward to do so, because let's face it, it isn't easy.

lv2trnscrb said...

Fran, I think the work you want to do for research and your schooling sounds very interesting and will meet a great need. I wish you much success with it.

I think a drug addict/alcoholic can change/reform, but I think they can't do it on their own. We have a group at church called Celebrate Recovery; they do the 12step program of Alcoholic's Anonymous but they have Jesus as their "higher power". People have remained "sober" from alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc. for years with that program. So I think it is possible; but very hard and people definitely need to realize they can't do it on their own

betty

mindercella33 said...

Hi Fran, I  am trying to catch up on your journal as I have been ill and unable to get up stairs to the computer. You are right once an addict or alcoholic always remains one. The only way to stay clean is with a good 12 step program and a good sponser. My husband is an addict and an alcoholic. He has been clean and sober for 19 years. You have to stay with the program though. The first time you say you don't need it anymore , it is the first step on the way back down hill. I pray for people who have addictions that they will get help. Take care, Cyndy