Sunday, March 19, 2006

CYNDY SUPPORTS MY ENTRY

CYNDI'S COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY SUPPORTS MY ENTRY, WHICH I HAVE BEEN FEELING GUILTY ABOUT, SINCE I WROTE IT....."ONCE AN ADDICT, ALWAYS AN ADDICT."

CYNDI EXPLAINS IT MUCH BETTER THAN I DID.  ONE MAY RECOVER AS AN ADDICT/ALCHOLIC, BUT THEY HAVE TO STAY WITHIN THE RIGHT FRAMEWORK OF FRIENDS, AND SUPPORT GROUPS, BASICALLY FOREVER.  ONCE THEY GO BACK, EVEN FOR A SECOND, THEY MAY MOST LIKELY REVERT TO THIER OLD WAYS OF LIFE........THE LITERATURE SAYS THAT ADDICTIONS ARE GENETIC...SO IT IS DIFFICULT , BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE.  MANY ADDICTIVE PEOPLE EXCHANGE ONE ADDICTION, FOR ANOTHER.......FOR INSTANCE, THEY MAY START DRINKING COFFEE, OR SMOKING CIGARETTES.........

IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, WE ARE ALL ADDICTED TO SOMETHING........IT MAY BE FOOD, OR WORK.........WELL, I'M ADDICTED TO MY HUSBAND!.........ALSO, JIMMY SAYS THAT I'VE BECOME VERY OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE SINCE HE IS IN PRISON.......HE SAYS I WAS THAT WAY SINCE HE FIRST MET ME, BUT I NEVER REALIZED IT............I'M VERY ORGANIZED...I HAVE TO GET THE JOB DONE........I KEEP LISTS AND RECORDS, AND NOTEBOOKS OF EVERYTHING........I WILL WORK ON SOMETHING, UNTIL IT IS DONE AND ACCOMPLISHED, EVEN THOUGH SWEAT MAY BE POURING OUT OF ME, AND I WILL LOSE SLEEP OVER IT.........IF I AM WRITING SOMETHING, I WILL STAY UP ALL NIGHT UNTIL IT IS DONE...............AND SO, THAT'S WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT..........I TRY TO BE A LITTLE MORE FLEXIBLE....WHEN I MET AND MARRIED JIMMY, I LET EVERYTHING GO.......HE IS "THE BRAINS " IN OUR MARRIAGE, SO I LET HIM DO ALL THE FINANCES, ETC..........AND I JUST RELAXED, PROBABLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, SINCE I HAVE BEEN ON MY OWN FOR 32 YEARS....DOING AND MANAGING EVERYTHING......

HOWEVER, I BECOME FEARFUL OF BEING TOO RELAXED AND FLEXIBLE...THAT I WILL LOSE CONTROL OVER EVERYTHING............SO NOW, JIMMY HAS PROMISED ME THAT I WILL BE THE "RECORD KEEPER," IN OUR MARRIAGE, AND CONTINUE TO KEEP TRACK OF THE FINANCES, WHEN HE COMES HOME.

 

THANK YOU, AGAIN, CYNDI, FOR SHARING YOUR STORY, AND GIVING US SOME INSIGHT ABOUT "ADDICTIONS."..........HOPE YOUR BACK IS FEELING BETTER, AND I ENJOY THE JOKES AND THINGS YOU SEND ME IN E-MAIL....SO MANY MAKE ME SMILE AND LAUGH, AND I SEND THEM TO THE GUYS IN THE PRISON TOO!

I AM CURRENTLY PACKING JIMMY'S THINGS FOR HIM, AND GETTING THEM READY....I JUST LOVE DOING IT........I HAVE ALL THE THINGS HE LIKES......NOTEBOOKS, AND PAPERS, PENS AND COLORED PENCILS AND MAGIC MARKERS........I BOUGHT HIM A WRISTWATCH TODAY, AND A WALKMAN........I BOUGHT HIM A LITTLE TOTE BAG, AND PACKED IT WITH HIS SHAVING GEAR, SOAP, AND ALL THE TOILITRIES.......EVRYTHING NEW, AND SPARKLING........OH, I JUST LOVE JIMMY SO MUCH!  I GOT HIS BELT AND TIES TOGETHER........I ONLY WISH WE WERE GOING OFF TO SOME EXOTIC ISLAND, OR MAYBE PARIS!

................FRAN

2 comments:

lv2trnscrb said...

I agree with what Cyndi said and what you said too, Fran, but I did also want to say that people could abstain from their addictions if they were part of groups that helped keep them sober

betty

mindercella33 said...

Well Fran, it sounds like everyday, you and Jimmy are getting closer to being together. I am so happy for you both. I am afraid that I still do not understand the halfway house though instead of coming home.How long does Jimmy have to stay there before he can come home? I was glad to read the "Jimmy and Fran" story, it was wonderful. Love is a strange and wonderful thing. One thing I would like to say to lv2trnscrb, support groups are what I meant when I said an addict needs a good 12 step program, but they also need a good sponser. I have unfortunately seen a few failures that could be directly blamed on mismatched sponsership. It is very important that time is taken to find the correct sponser that you click with, but won't take any nonsense from the addict either. Well you take care and god bless you and Jimmy, Fran. I am happy to report the procedure went well friday and the next one is in 2 weeks. I will keep you up to date. I am glad you and  all "the guys" like my e-mails. Laughter works wonders. Hugs, Cyndy