happy new year's kintock , and craf!

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S.........KINTOCK, CRAF........AND CORY   :)

(I ALMOST FORGOT...MR. I)           :)

.............................................LOVE, FRAN

NEW YEAR'S EVE...2ND ANNIVERSARY OF THIS JOURNAL

HI EVERYONE!

MAY YOU ALL HAVE A VERY "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

THIS IS THE 2ND ANNIVERSARY OF THIS JOURNAL, AS I BEGAN WRITING IT ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, 2003.  TRUTHFULLY, I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF MUCH HAS EVEN CHANGED IN THOSE 2 YEARS OF LIFE........I STILL SIT HERE, PATIENT, AND AWAIT THE RETURN OF MY HUSBAND.  JIMMY ALWAYS SAYS TO ME, "YOU LIKE TO BE A MARTYR, FRAN, DON'T YOU?".........AND I ALWAYS ANSWER, "YES."..........NOT EXACTLY, A MARTYR FOR MYSELF, BUT i LIKE TO DO IT FOR OTHERS...FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD........FOR THOSE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO ARE JUST TOO BUSY TO EVEN STOP AND THINK, WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.

AND SO, I SIT HERE, ONCE AGAIN ALONE, ON THIS 3RD NEW YEAR'S EVE....WITH MY 3 ANIMALS.............I RECEIVED SOME PHONE CALLS TODAY, FROM SOME FRIENDS, HERE IN JERSEY, AD IN LAS VEGAS............EVERYONE IS ALWAYS NICE TO ME, AND A PHONE CALL AWAY......

IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE PEOPLE OUT THERE, CELEBRATING TONIGHT, PLEASE ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF IT!

ALSO, I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL THOSE WHO READ THIS JOURNAL...SOME ARE FACELESS...AND SOME HAVE BECOME MY FRIENDS!..........YOU ALWAYS ALL SUPPORT ME SO VERY WELL..........YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB!

..........AND ALL YOU PRISONER'S WIVES.........YET, ANOTHER YEAR.........I KNOW YOU ARE ALL SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR MAN

WELL, TO SPEAK UP FOR YOU ALL........I KNOW FOR MYSELF, I MET AND MARRIED A WONDERFUL MAN!.........HE IS A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL.........CHEERFUL, FUNNY, INTELLIGENT, HANDSOME.....DASHING AND DEBONAIR, AND YET TOUGH AND STRONG, WHEN HE WANTS TO BE.................BEFORE HE WENT TO PRISON, HE GAVE ME EVERYTHING ANY WOMAN COULD EVER WANT...............AND EVEN IN PRISON, HE PROVIDES FOR ME......HE KEEPS TRACK OF ME, AND THE HOUSEHOLD..............AND NOT A DAY GOES BY, THAT HE TELLS ME THINGS WILL SOON BE DIFFERENT, AND HE IS SORRY FOR DOING THIS TO ME.............

AND SO, HERE WE ARE.........6PM.........NEW YEAR'S EVE........SOON TO BE ANOTHER YEAR.....IT IS NOW AN EXCITING MOMENT IN TIME, AS THE OLD YEAR DISAPPEARS, AND THE NEW YEAR MERGES...........WE ALL START AFRESH, AT THE SAME TIME...

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE, AND MAY YOU ALL HAVE A 'HAPPY NEW YEAR."......................FRAN

LIFE MOVES ON

HI EVERYONE!.......ONCE AGAIN, LIFE MOVES ON!....I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET AWAY WITH IT!.........TOMORROW, NEW YEAR'S EVE, IS THE SECOND ANNIVERSARY OF THIS JOURNAL.  YES, IT WAS IN THE EVENING, BEFORE MIDNIGHT, THAT I SAT HERE , ALONE, DEPRESSED, IN A COLD , LONELY HOUSE, WITH MY 3 ANIMALS SURROUNDING ME.......JIMMY HAD MADE HIS USUAL 15 MINUTE COLLECT CALL FROM BAYSIDE STATE PRISON, AND HE HAD SUGGESTED I START A JOURNAL ON AOL..........AND SO I DID.........THAT WAS MY FIRST ENTRY , ON 12/31/03......IT WAS ONLY A FEW LINES.  AND THEN I BEGAN TO WRITE AND WRITE, AND REALIZED THAT THIS JOURNAL WAS HELPING THOUSANDS OF WOMEN ACROSS AMERICA, MANY IN MY SAME SHOES, SOME JUST INTERESTED IN MY UNUSUAL LIFE....AND THEN, LAST WINTER, A NEWSPAPER REPORTER FOR "THE PRESS OF ATLANTIC CITY," FOUND MY JOURNAL WHILE DOING RESEARCH FOR PRISONS, ON "GOOGLE, " AND HE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THIS JOURNAL, THAT HE WROTE A STORY ABOUT ME, THAT APPEARED IN THE FEB. 20, 2005 EDITION OF THE PAPER........HE CAME HERE, TO MY HOUSE TO INTERVIEW ME FOR 2 HOURS, AND SENT A PHOTOGRAHER TO TAKE PIX.......HE EVEN GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION TO GO TO KINTOCK TO INTERVIEW JIMMY FOR 2 HOURS...........AND I WAS HAPPY ABOUT ALL THAT.........I WAS PORTRAYED AS A WOMAN THAT IS HELPING OTHER PRISONER'S WIVES , DURING THEIR DIFFICULT TIME........PEOPLE FIND STRENGTH IN ME..........AND YET, ALTHOUGH THEY SAY I AM STRONG, I AM ALSO VERY WEAK.......IT'S A STRANGE LIFE...IT IS LIKE YOU EXIST, BUT YOU ARE NO WHERE.................AND SO, I CONTINUE TO WRITE, HOPEFULLY NOT BORING YOU.......AND HOPEFULLY NOT DEPRESSING YOU!

WELL, JIMMY WENT TO CLASSIFICATION YESTERDAY.  I KNOW WHERE HE WILL BE SENT TO NEXT WEEK.  HOWEVER, I WILL KEEP YOU IN SUSPENCE FOR A WHILE LONGER.

AT THIS POINT, WE CAN ONLY LOOK TO THE SPRING, AND THE NEW YEAR................IT IS SO STRANGE.......I NEVER LIVED LIKE THIS BEFORE...........WAITING, AND WAITING........FOR THE MONTHS AND SEASONS TO PASS........AND THAT IS WHAT "TIME, "  IS ALL ABOUT...........WAITING FOR TIME TO PASS........."DOING TIME."......WE MUST REMEMBER, "TIME" IS A MAN-MADE CONCEPT.........IN THE WORLD OF GOD, TIME DOES NOT EXIST........TIME IS INFINITY..NO BEGINNING, AND NO END........AND SO BE IT.....................................FRAN

another holiday is on it's way

WELL, NEW YEAR'S EVE, IS NOW ON IT'S WAY!......OH HOW WONDERFUL!...LOL.......ONCE A PERSON THAT LOVED HOLIDAYS, AND LIFE IN GENERAL, I NOW HIDE UNDER THE BED COVERS, TILL ALL THE "HOLIDAY PEOPLE, " ARE DONE CELEBRATING................JIMMY GETS SO MAD AT ME, BECAUSE HE LOVES HOLIDAYS, AND IS SUCH A HAPPY PERSON....ALL THE TIME.......HE CALS ME ONCE OR TWICE A DAY...HE BEGS ME TO GET UP , AND "GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, FRAN.".....IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME TO DO, BUT ALAS!....TODAY I WAS ACTUALLY ABLE TO GET UP, AND GO TO FOOD SHOP....WELL, AFTER ALL, PRINCE, THE DOG, HAD NO FOOD LEFT.........AND I LOVE MY DOGGIE!

AS A MATTER OF FACT,  I'LL BE GOING OUT AGAIN TOMORROW, AS I HAVE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.......SO I HAVE NO CHOICE..........

LIFE GOES ON, MOVES SLOWLY, AND DRIVES ME INSANE........ONE READER OF THIS JOURNAL SAID I AM DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY.  YES, YOU ARE RIGHT....BUT THAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS JPOURNAL, TO SEE EXACTLY HOW THE LIFE OF THE WIFE OF A PRISONER LIVES..........LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, GREAT BRITAIN HAS EXTENSIVE PROGRAMS IN THEIR COUNTRY, TO FOLLOW THE PRISONER'S WIFE, AND SEE IF SHE, OR HER CHILDREN ARE OK........BUT, AS FAR AS I CAN SEE , AMERICA HAS NOTHING..........AND SO, WE ARE OUT IN SOCIETY, ALONE..............BUT WE ARE HERE IN MANY NUMBERS, AS THERE ARE 2 MILLION, OR MORE PEOPLE INCARCERATED IN THIS COUNTRY.............IMAGINE HOW MANY LOVED ONES, AND CHILDREN ARE OUT THERE.

AND SO, I'LL SAY GOOD NIGHT......ANOTHER DAY OVER........TOMORROW, THURSDAY, JIMMY IS SUPPOSSED TO GO TO "CLASSIFICATION, " SO WE WILL FIND OUT WHERE HE IS GOING NEXT.....................FRAN

stolen and cashed money order

JIMMY'S MONEY ORDER, THAT HE HAD WITH HIM AT KINTOCK THE NIGHT HE WAS TAKEN BACK TO PRISON, WAS STOLEN AND CASHED.  I HAVE THIS UNDER INVESTIGATION AT THIS TIME....THIS IS A FEDERAL CRIME, FOR FRAUD.  WE WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.....THE MONEY ORDER WAS FOR OVER $200.00...........ISN'T THE PERSON WHO DID THIS AWARE THAT RECORDS ARE KEPT, BY WESTERN UNION, AND IT WILL BE TRACED, WHOEVER TOOK IT, AND CASHED IT.......I JUST SPOKE WITH WESTERN UNION, AND YES, THEY SAID THAT THIS IS A MAJOR CRIME......,.AND I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT THAT PERSON WILL PROBABLY GO TO PRISON, HIMSELF.............FRAN

SOME GOOD NEWS!

I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ALL, SOME GREAT NEWS!  JIMMY AND I HAD SPONSERED A DOG, THROUGH OUR LOCAL NEWSPAPER....WITH A DONATION, THE DOG'S PICTURE, AND OUR NAME APPEARED IN THE PAPER LAST WEEK...WELL, WHEN I OPENED THE PAPER TODAY, I WAS TAKEN ABACK!......MOCHA'S (THE DOG'S NAME) PICTURE WAS THERE, AND HAD BEEN ADOPTED BY A FAMILY.........I WAS SO OVERCOME BY JOY, AND STARTED TO CRY!...........I WAS SO HAPPY, AND SO WAS JIMMY!  MOCHA WAS A 7 YR. OLD LAB/SHEPARD..BEAUTIFUL, LIGHT BROWN, WITH LOVING EYES....A VERY CALM FEMALE, WHO WAS GOOD WITH CHILDREN AND OTHER PETS.  I MYSELF WANTED TO GO ADOPT HER, WHEN I SAW HER PIX IN THE PAPER..I ALMOST DID, SEVERAL TIMES, CALL UP TO ADOPT HER.....ALL LAST WEEK I WAS TALKING TO JIMMY ABOUT MOCHA.  JIMMY SAID, "NO FRAN, YOU CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER DOG RIGHT NOW, ALTHOUGH MOCHA WOULD MAKE A GOOD COMPANION FOR PRINCE.  WHEN I COME HOME, WE WILL GET ANOTHER DOG.".................AND SO, I AM SO HAPPY THAT MOCHA WAS ADOPTED, AND NOW , WITHIN MY HEART, I KNOW SHE IS WITH A LOVING FAMILY!....AND JIMMY AND I MADE THIS POSSIBLE, THROUGH OUR SPONSERING HER!.................FRAN

DOING THE BID

JIMMY CALLED ME AGAIN TODAY...,AT 7PM, FOR TWO 15 MINUTE CALLS...NOT MUCH FOR TWO VERY-CONNECTED PEOPLE....HE WRITES ME VERY LONG LETTERS...

WE WAIT FOR THURSDAY, WHEN HE WILL GO TO CLASSIFICATION, AND BE PLACED SOMEWHERE...BUT , OH YES, I ALMOST FORGOT!  WE ARE NOW GETTING INTO NEW YEAR'S EVE...AND "THE SYSTEM" IS TOO BUSY "PARTYING," AND "HOLIDAYING," WHILE MY HUSBAND SITS IN A CELL THAT IS 8X9FT, BECAUSE KINTOCK DECIDED TO DO THIS TO HIM FOR THE HOLIDAYS....WHY DON'T YOU ALL TAKE A MEASURING TAPE, AND MEASURE THAT.,.AND MY HUSBAND IS SOMEWHERE AROUND 300 LBS...........I BET NICE , BIG MEN WOULD FEEL CLAUSTROPHOBIC TO BE IN SUCH A TINY SPACE, EVERYDAY, ALL DAY...LET OUT FOR ONLY A FEW MINUTES..,.AND, AS YOU MAY HAVE READ HERE, JIMMY IS INNOCENT OF HIS CHARGES.  BUT BECAUSE THIS HAPPENED AT HOLIDAY TIME, HE IS TRAPPED WITHIN THE SYSTEM, AND HASN'T BEEN PLACED ANYWHERE..........WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, JIMMY'S MIND IS JUST FINE...ALL HE DOES IS "THINK" FOR 24 HOURS/DAY.......I AM VERY LUCKY TO HAVE MARRIED SUCH AN INTELLIGENT MAN........A MAN VERY, VERY WELL-VERSED IN THE LAW..............AS MY HUSBAND WAS AN ATTORNEY, WHO GRADUATED FROM ONE OF THE BEST LAW SCHOOLS IN NEW YORK.........AND HE KNOWS HOW TO GO ABOUT THINGS....................AS FOR ME, I STAY IN BED 24 HOURS/DAY....I SLEEP 2 HOURS, AND THEN GET UP FOR ONE OR TWO, TO DO A FEW HOUSEHOLD THINGS........JIMMY IS WORRIED ABOUT ME, AND BEGS ME TO GET UP...HE MAKES SURE I TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS.  I TAKE THINGS SLOWLY...VERY SLOWLY.  MY STOMACH HAS BEEN HURTING ME SO BAD, THAT I CAN BARELY EAT ANYTHING, OTHERWISE I GET STOMACH PAINS, LIKE SOMEONE HAS PUNCHED ME IN THE STOMACH.....TODAY I ONLY HAD A CUP OF TEA, AND 2 PIECES OF TOAST.....I AM TAKING TAGAMET, AND IT HAS STARTED HELPING A LITTLE....JIMMY THINKS I MAY HAVE DEVELOPED A STOMACH ULCER...AND MAYBE HE IS RIGHT.........................I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE WHY THEY WOULD SINGLE OUT MY HUSBAND, WHEN HUNDREDS OF MEN AT KINTOCK HAVE CELL PHONES........I, MYSELF, CAN EVEN GIVE YOU NAMES OF PEOPLE THAT HAVE CELL PHONES...........HOWEVER, I WOULD NEVER STOOP THAT LOW....I KNOW THAT THERE ARE A FEW PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT ARE SCARED I WILL "TATTLE-TALE" ON THEM...I GUESS THEY ARE SHAKING IN THEIR BOOTS....DON'T WORRY, I WON'T DO IT....I'M NOT A "SNITCH, " EVEN THOUGH OTHERS HAVE DONE MY HUSBAND WRONG........MY HUSBAND SAYS HE FELL IN LOVE WITH ME FOR "MY INTELLIGENCE," AMONGST OTHER THINGS........I AM A VERY DEDICATED WOMAN, TO MY MAN.