KINTOCK DOES THE RIGHT THING

HI EVERYONE!   I MUST TELL YOU WHAT JIMMY TOLD ME ON THE PHONE TODAY.....HE SAYS THAT IT APPEARS THAT KINTOCK, THE HALF-WAY HOUSE WHERE HE WAS STAYING, SEEMS TO HAVE DEPOSITED AROUND $200.00 INTO HIS BANK ACCOUNT, ACCORDING TO THE BANK STATEMENT HE RECEIVED, TODAY........WE THINK THAT IS THE $210.00  MONEY ORDER THAT WAS MISSING, ON THE NIGHT HE WAS SENT TO BACK TO PRISON.  JIMMY AND I ARE VERY THANKFUL FOR THIS.  HOWEVER, MONEY IS STILL MISSING, THAT HASN'T BEEN ACCOUNTED FOR....I AM IN THE PROCESS OF TRACING THAT CHECK , WHICH IS STILL MISSING  (HIS LAST PAYCHECK FROM THE STORE HE WAS WORKING IN)....I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT ANYONE WOULD ILLEGALLY CASH THAT CHECK...AFTER ALL, THAT IS FRAUD...A FEDERAL CRIME TO SIGN SOMEONE ELSE'S CHECK....SO, WE ARE HOPING EVERYTHING WILL SOON BE CLEARED UP......

YES, THE DAYS ARE GOING BY NOW......THEY ARE ACTUALLY GOING BY FAST NOW, AS I AM KEEPING BUSY DOING A LOT OF THINGS...JIMMY IS , TOO.

"SUGAR"  (in a comment)  SUGGESTED I SEND JIMMY A CROSSWORD PUZZLE BOOK.  I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT IN THE PRISON HE IS IN, WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEND ANY TYPE OF BOOK, OR MAGAZINE.  SO, WHAT I DID IS, I  BOUGHT A CROSSWORD BOOK, AND RIPPED THE PAGES OUT, AND I AM MAILING THEM TO HIM SEPERATELY EVERYDAY....JIMMY ENJOYS CROSSWORD PUZZLES, AND IT WILL KEEP HIS MIND OCCUPIED  (NOT THAT I'M AFRAID HE NEEDS THAT, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND'S MIND IS ALWAYS 'THINKING.")

THE ONLY BOOKS THAT CAN BE SENT TO THIS PRISON, ARE ONLY PAPERBACK, AND THEY MUST BE ORDERED AND SENT DIRECTLY FROM THE BOOKSTORE....SO, I SENT HIM A BOOK ON "LATIN GRAMMER," WHICH HE REQUESTED....SO HE CAN "BRUSH UP ON LATIN," WHILE IN PRISON   :)

ALSO, AFTER I FINISH HERE, I WILL GO TO AMAZON.COM, AND ORDER HIM ANOTHER PAPERBACK BOOK...HE IS REQUESTING I FIND HIM A HISTORICAL NON-FICTION BOOK...OK, I GUESS I HAVE MY WORK CUT OUT FOR ME!....MY HUSBAND IS IN MANY WAYS A 'COMPLEX PERSON,' AND WHY CAN'T HE THINK OF A BOOK THAT IS EASY FOR ME TO PICK OUT!

(jimmy would like "THE DAVINCI CODE," but the paperback is not due out til March)

SO THAT'S ABOUT IT!..........JIMMY AND I HOPE THAT EVERYONE OUT THERE FINDS THE PERSON IN THEIR LIFE, WHOMTHEY TRULY LOVE AND ARE CONNECTED WITH.......IT MAKES OUR JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE , SO MUCH MORE MEANINGFUL , AND ENJOYABLE!.............

GOOD-NIGHT!...............FRAN

41 DAYS TILL PAROLE

HI EVERYONE!..........YES, IT'S ONLY 41 DAYS TILL PAROLE!...TIME IS IN ONE WAY MOVING FAST, BECAUSE JIMMY AND I HAVE INVOLVED OURSELVES, FOR THIS PERIOD OF TIME , IN TASKS THAT WILL MOVE THE TIME QUICKLY AHEAD.....I HAVE BEEN SENDING JIMMY LOADS AND LOADS OF MAIL, GOING TO THE POST OFFICE, ALMOST EVERYDAY.........I SEND HIM PRINT-OUTS OF ARTICLES ON THE COMPUTER, AND CLIPPINGS FROM MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS, SO HE CAN KEEP ABREAST OF THE CURRENT NEWS............I SEND HIM THE DAILY CROSS-WORD PUZZLES, FROM THE NEWSPAPER.  ALSO, TODAY, I BOUGHT HIM A DIFFERENT CARD FOR THE NEXT 5 DAYS......EVERYDAY I WILL SEND HIM A CARD....CARDS THAT ARE VERY PRETTY, WITH ANIMALS AND NATURE...........WE CONTINUE TO TALK, 2 OR 3 TIMES PER DAY, EVEN THOUGH MY PHONE BILLS ARE LIKE $700..(AND MUCH MORE RIGHT NOW)......NO ONE, I REPEAT, NO ONE CAN KEEP US SEPERATED..........

IN THE MEANTIME, JIMMY IS BUSY AT "CRAF."  HE IS MOPPING FLOORS, PASSING OUT FOOD TRAYS, AND GIVING SUPPLIES TO INMATES..........MY HUSBAND IS A JOY TO HAVE AROUND, IN ANY SITUATION!........WHY?  BECAUSE HE LOVES TO WORK, AND GET OTHERS TO WORK, AND PRODUCE..........YES, JIMMY IS MOST CERTAINLY A BORN "LEADER," AND IT IS NOT ONLY I THAT SAYS THAT............YESTERDAY, SOMEONE IN MANAGEMENT FROM IGA FOODSTORE CALLED ME, AND SAID JIMMY IS NEEDED IN THAT STORE, WHEN HE GETS OUT ON PAROLE, ESPECIALLY FOR HIS LEADERSHIP SKILLS....WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR FOODSTORE, THAT COULD POSSIBLY CLOSE, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN SENT BACK TO PRISON, BY KINTOCK, UNNECESSARILY.........IF THE STORE CLOSES, THAT MEANS A LOT OF PEOPLE, I SUPPOSE THOUSANDS, WILL LOSE THEIR JOBS....THIS IS A SHAME........

IN RESPONSE TO A COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY.......JIMMY NEVER VIOLATED HIS PAROLE......YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, SO I WISH YOU WOULD STOP SAYING FALSE THINGS HERE...........YOU ARE JUST A JEALOUS INDIVIDUAL, WHO HAS NEVER FOUND  TRUE LOVE............YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS........IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD START PRAYING THAT GOD SENT ME SOMEONE IN MY LIFE, THAT I  COULD KNOW WHAT "ABSOLUTE" LOVE IS......

the countdown.....

JIMMY CALLED ME THIS MORNING TO WAKE ME UP...."THE COUNTDOWN HAS STARTED, HONEY,"  HE SAID HAPPILY INTO THE PHONE.  "ONLY 45 MORE DAYS TO GO.  AS OF THIS MONDAY, IT WILL BE 6 MORE WEEKS."

AND SO, THAT'S HOW IT GOES......I TOLD HIM HOW GOOD I FEEL, AND ALL MY "ACHES AND PAINS" HAVE GONE AWAY!  IT GOES TO SHOW YOU, JUST HOW THE MIND AFFECTS THE BODY...HOWEVER WHEN IT IS HAPPENING TO YOU, IT IS VERY HARD TO CONVERT YOUR THOUGHTS...........WHATEVER POISEN WAS IN ME...WELL, IT IS GONE NOW.   WHAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IS HOW CRIMINALS KEEP COMMITTING CRIMES, AND GOING THROUGH THIS PROCESS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.........AS FOR MYSELF, I THRIVE WHEN ALL IS AT PEACE AND LIFE IS IN BALANCE......I NEED TO BE SURROUNDED BY LOVE, HAPPINESS, AND SUNSHINE..........I NEED TO KEEP MY HOUSEHOLD AS BALANCED AND AS PEACEFUL AS I CAN.......AND SO, NOW WE STRIVE TOWARDS THAT.......

JIMMY SENT ME A HOME-MADE CALENDER, OF THE DAYS TILL HE COMES HOME.......I HAVE IT HANGING ON MY BEDROOM WALL...I CROSS OFF EACH DAY....45 DAYS ARE LEFT.....SOMEONE HERE, SUGGESTED I MAKE A CHAIN OF THE NUMBER OF DAYS LEFT, AND THEN TAKE A CHAIN OFF EACH DAY TILL PAROLE.  THAT IS A GOOD IDEA, TOO.

JIMMY IS STILL WORKING AS A RUNNER.  THAT IS, GIVING OUT TRAYS, MOPPING THE FLOOR....HE ENJOYS HELPING OUT, AND THAT CAN GET RID OF SOME OF HIS ENERGY, AS HE HAS A LOT OF THAT.........HE CAN NOW SIT OUTSIDE HIS CELL TO EAT HIS MEALS, WHERE THERE IS A SMALL TABLE.  FOR BREAKFAST TODAY THEY HAD WHAT IS SUPPOSSED TO BE "CHIPPED BEEF."  BUT WHAT IT REALLY WAS, IS GROUND TURKEY IN SOME SORT OF CREAMED SAUCE..........YUK!

MY HUSBAND HAS ALREADY REQUESTED WHAT HE'D LIKE TO EAT WHEN HE COMES HOME........IT IS A COICE BETWEEN TURKEY (he loves how i make turkey), MEATLOAF, OR POT ROAST.....HE WANTS ONE OF THESE ON HIS FIRST DAY HOME.  I THINK I'LL MAKE THE POT ROAST, BECAUSE I MADE IT ON HIS FURLOUGH, AND HE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT  (I HAVE A SPECIAL WAY OF MAKING IT IN THE WOK, SO IT STAYS JUICY, AND USING FRESH GINGER).

WELL, I'M GOING OUTSIDE NOW.  MY TIRE IS FLAT , SO I WILL CALL TRIPLE A.  IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING.  AND I'M ONE OF THOSE WOMEN WHO HATE TO DO THOSE "MAN THINGS."...BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE.

AND SO, ONCE AGAIN, MY FAVORITE SAYING HAS ALWAYS BEEN,   "IF WINTER COMES, CAN SPRING BE FAR BEHIND?"

                                     FRAN

...SO IN LOVE.......

I JUST SPOKE WITH JIMMY A LITTLE WHILE AGO......WE ARE SO CONNECTED AND IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, IT IS HARD TO PUT IT IN PRINT.   HE MUST HAVE TOLD ME HOW  MUCH HE IS IN LOVE WITH ME AROUND A MILLION TIMES, DURING THIS PHONE CALL........I ASKED HIM, FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, WHEN DID YOU ACTUALLY KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH ME?  (i really already knew the answer, but wanted to hear it one more time.)...HE SAID, " IT WAS AFTER I MET YOU, FOR THE FIRST TIME, IN INDIAN SPRINGS, NEVADA, UPON GOING BACK TO NEW JERSEY, AFTER OUR WEEKEND TOGETHER  (IT WAS OUR ONE AND ONLY MEETING, BEFORE MARRIAGE).  THE EXACT MOMENT WAS WHEN THE AIRPLANE LEFT THE TARMAC....I KNEW I HAD TO COME BACK AND MARRY YOU.".............AND SO HE DID...JIMMY FLEW BACK 6 WEEKS LATER, AND WE GOT ,MARRIED THE NEXT DAY............YES, OURS HAS BEEN A VERY GREAT LOVE STORY!.....JIMMY TOOK ME UNDER HIS WING, AND JUST DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO..........AND I NEVER WANTED HIM TO LET GO..............OUR BIGGEST WORRY WAS THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE ME AND GO TO PRISON.............TRUTHFULLY, IN THE FIRST 2 YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE, JIMMY KEPT ME SHELTERED FROM THAT FACT........WE MAINTAINED A HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE HOME LIFE...........IT WAS A WHIRLWIND OF LOVE, LOVE, AND MORE LOVE...........JIMMY RARELY TALKED TO ME ABOUT PRISONS, AND I WAS HAPPY ABOUT THAT.  BUT AT TIMES HE WOULD SIT ME DOWN, AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.........HIS PAST CRIMES, AND HIS CURRENT CRIME.....WHAT HAPPENS IN THE PRISON SYSTEM...JIMMY PREPARED ME, AS A FATHER WOULD PREPARE A CHILD FOR SOMETHING.......HE FED IT TO ME VERY SLOWLY, SO I COULD ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THINGS...........

THE ONE THING I DID KNOW WAS THAT JIMMY WAS SIMPLY A WONDERFUL MAN, AND I SAW THE BEST IN HIM, AT ALL TIMES.........YES, I ONLY SAW THE BEST IN HIM........NOT THAT HE WAS A CRIMINAL..........AND WHAT JIMMY TOLD ME RECENTLY IS THAT IN ANALYZING HIMSELF, HE BELIEVES PART OF THE REASON HE LOVES ME, IS BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY WOMAN HE WAS ABLE TO BE HIMSELF WITH.......WITH HIS PAST GIRLFRIENDS, HE COULD NEVER REALLY BE HIMSELF.........HE COULD NEVER PUT HIS GUARD DOWN WITH ANYONE BEFORE...I WAS THE FIRST ONE......THAT IS KIND OF SCARY...AND SO, I'M SO HAPPY WE MET ...LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, OUR MEETING WAS NOT COINCIDENCE, BUT GOD PUT US TOGETHER, AND WE ALWAYS BELIEVE FOR A PURPOSE.

NOT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT, BUT I GOT MY AT&T PHONE BILL TODAY...I GUESS YOU ARE ALL ANXIOUS TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT IS, SINCE WE TALK SO MUCH...WELL, SINCE HE HAS BEEN IN CRAF, IT IS 700 DOLLARS....YES, YOU GOT IT!.........BUT MORE THAN WORTH IT'S WEIGHT IN GOLD!  AND YOU MUST REMEMBER, THAT TO START TALKING TO HIM IN CRAF, I PAID $1100.00, TO CLEAR THE PHONE, AND REMOVE ANY BLOCKS.  THE REASON I TELL YOU ALL THIS, IS THAT THIS IS A COMMON THING THAT PRISONER'S WIVES GO THROUGH....A LOT OF THE PUBLIC IS NOT AWARE OF JUST HOW EPENSIVE IT IS...........AND YOU MUST REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF THOSE CALLS..........IT LITERALLY KEEPS THE SANITY OF THE INMATE.........JIMMY TRUTHFULLY LIVES FOR HIS CALLS TO ME.........REPEATEDLY, HE TELLS ME, HE HAS TO SIMPLY HEAR MY VOICE ON THE PHONE...EVEN FOR A FEW MINUTES.......AND THAT IS HOW IT IS FOR ME, TOO.........FOR 3 YEARS, THIS COMING MARCH.

AND NOW, FOR SOME MORE GOOD NEWS!  WHEN JIMMY WENT TO THE MEDICAL CLINIC EARLIER , THE NURSE TOLD HIM HE IS SCHEDULED IN A FEW DAYS FOR HIS "EXIT INTERVIEW,,,PHYSICAL"............WELL, JIMMY IS GETTING CLOSER NOW, MORE THAN EVER TO COME HOME........WE  CAN ONCE AGAIN START TO LIVE A SOMEWHAT "NORMAL LIFE-STYLE.".......AND TO BE IN EACH OTHERS ARMS, AND NOT WATCH THE CLOCK.

WITH LOVE,   FRAN

parole board

THE PAROLE OFFICER CALLED ME YESTERDAY AFTERNOON, AND SAID SHE WOULD COME TO VISIT ME ON FRIDAY.  ANS SO, TODAY, THURSDAY, AT 9 AM, SHE CALLED, AS I WAS IN A DEEP SLEEP, AND HAD JUST GONE TO BED AT 6AM, BECAUSE I WAS WATCHING MOVIES DURING THE NIGHT. SHE SAID SHE WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND WOULD STOP BY....SO, WITHIN 2 MINUTES SHE WAS RINGING MY DOORBELL...OUR HOUSE WAS APPROVED FOR JIMMY TO COME HOME TO, .AND THAT IS GOOD NEWS, AND ONE STEP FURTHER ALONG ON THIS JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE, AND THE PRISON SYSTEM.......FRAN

ANOTHER DAY....

WELL, HERE IT IS ANOTHER DAY...JIMMY MADE HIS USUAL 2, 15 MINUTE COLLECT CALLS FROM PRISON.  PAROLE BROUGHT HIM SOME PAPERS TODAY, THAT HE HAD TO SIGN...ALL THE RULES AND REGULATIONS.  JIMMY IS ALWAYS HAPPY AND UPBEAT ABOUT EVERYTHING, BUT AS FOR ME, I'M NOT EXACTLY THRILLED WHAT HE TOLD ME WHAT WILL TAKE PLACE WHEN HE IS PAROLLED.  PAROLE WANTS HIM TO STAY IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE A FEW DAYS A WEEK, WHICH IS SOMEWHERE AROUND CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY.  THE REST OF THE TIME, HE WILL COME HOME.  HOWEVER, IT SEEMS LIKE AN AWFUL LOT OF TRAVELING AROUND THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY, FOR MY HUSBAND.  MOST TIMES HE WILL BE TRAVELING ON BUSES, TRAINS, AND TAXIS............I JUST DON'T GET IT.  JIMMY HAS A NICE HOME TO COME BACK TO, IN A QUITE RESIDENTIAL TOWN, AND YET HE WILL BE TRAVELING HERE AND THERE...ALL OVER..........ATLANTIC CITY WHERE HE WILL WORK, IS 1 HOUR FROM HERE, HIS HOME....TO GET THERE, HE WILL HAVE TO TAKE A TAXI AND BUS...SOMETIMES IT TAKES 2 HOURS BY BUS.  AND FROM HIS JOB, CAMDEN MUST BE AT LEAST 1 1/2 HOURS AWAY.........WHAT I'M SAYING, IT IS NOT IN A STRAIGHT LINE, BUT KIND OF LIKE A TRIANGLE, ON THE MAP.  I'M KIND OF UPSET ABOUT THIS, SO I DON'T KNOW IF I'M MAKING SENSE.  I MEAN, I DON'T WANT MY HUSBAND TO OVERDO IT...I KNOW HOW TIRING TRAVELLING AROUND ALL DAY, AND THEN GOING TO A STRESSFUL JOB CAN BE......I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE........JIMMY WAS HAPPY TELLING ME ABOUT THIS ON THE PHONE.........AND WHEN I EXPRESSED MY CONCERNS, WELL WE HAD A LITTLE DISAGREEMENT, AND WE HUNG UP............THEN HE CALLED BACK, BECAUSE HE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT NOT BEING MAD WITH ME...........AND SO I SAID, "YOU ARE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT BEING IN PRISON UPON YOURSELF, SO NOW YOU JUST HANDLE IT."  HE SAYS IT IS OK...HE DOESN'T MIND TRAVELING AROUND NEW JERSEY ALL DAY..........I SAID, FINE, BUT I'M 3 YEARS OLDER SINCE YOU LEFT FOR PRISON, AND I JUST LIKE TO BE HOME , HERE, IN MY COMFORTABLE HOUSE...I DON'T LIKE RIDING, TRAVELING, OR ANY SUCH THING....I JUST WANT TO BE HOME....PERIOD.  HE SAID, FINE.......ANYHOW IT'S ONLY FOR 90 DAYS  (IN THE NEW HALF-WAY HOUSE).........ALSO, WHAT I TOLD JIMMY IS THAT WHAT I NEED, AT THIS TIME ON MY LIFE, AND AT MY AGE, (WHICH IS INCREASING WITH EVERY MINUTE, AS EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET), IS STABILITY.......YES, VERY INPORTANT......"STABILITY.".......AND SO I WILL NOT THINK ABOUT THIS ISSUE ANYMORE....I REFUSE TO BE AGGRAVATED ANY FURTHER, BY "THE SYSTEM."  I WILL PLACE ALL THINGS IN THE HANDS OF CHRIST, AND IN THAT WAY, HAVE ANY STRESS RELIEVED  FROM MYSELF........AND SO, WE WILL PROCEED WITH A PEACEFUL, HARMONIOUS LIFE.........................TRUTHFULLY, IF I WERE TO PUT MY FAITH IN "THE SYSTEM,"  IN THIS COUNTRY, INSTEAD OF  OUR LORD, I WOULD LITERALLY BE DRIVEN "INSANE." AND I REFUSE TO LET IT DO THAT TO ME............

ASLO, JIMMY TOLD ME THAT PAROLE WILL CALL ME IN A FEW DAYS, TO ASK ME IF I WANT MY HUSBAND TO RETURN HOME............WELL, WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?

JIMMY'S ROOM MATE WAS MOVED OUT OF THE CELL TODAY, SO AS OF NOW, JIMMY IS ALONE.  HIS ROOM MATE WAS MOVED TO A LARGER CELL, AND IS NOW WORKING AS A 'RUNNER."  HE IS DOING THE SWEEPING AND MOPPING OF FLOORS RIGHT NOW.  JIMMY THINKS THEY WILL ALSO MOVE HIM TO A LARGER CELL SOON...MAYBE TOMORROW.

GOOD-NIGHT AND SWEET DREAMS!................FRAN

MISSING MY HUSBAND

I MISS JIMMY SO MUCH...I WISH HE WERE HERE WITH ME, RIGHT NOW, MORE THAN ANYTHING.  THE WORST THING IS THAT WE CAN ONLY TALK FOR A LIMITED TIME ON THE PHONE...TODAY WE SPOKE FOR 2. 15 MINUTE COLLECT CALLS, AT 7:30 PM...JIMMY HAD CALLED ME AT 12:30 PM,. BUT THE CALLS WOULDN'T GO THROUGH, AS SOMETIMES HAPPENS WITH PHONE CALLS FROM PRISON...SO, HE TRIED CALLING ME 8 TIMES, BUT THE CALLS KEPT DISCONNECTING.  SO WHEN HE GOT THROUGH AT 7:30 PM, HE WAS FRANTIC...ALL THE OTHER INMATES WERE AROUND HIM, AND HE TOLD THEM HE FINALLY GOT THROUGH.........JIMMY GETS CRAZY WHEN HE CAN'T TALK TO ME.  WHAT I MEAN IS, HE "PANICS."  AS LONG AS HE CAN "HEAR MY VOICE," HE IS OK.......AND I AM THE SAME WAY WITH HIM.  TRUTHFULLY, JIMMY AND I STARTED TALKING TO EACH OTHER SINCE WE MET, ON MARCH 1, 2001, AND TO THIS DAY, WE HAVE NOT STOPPED!.....YES, WE NEVER RUN OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT.  AND I MEAN, A LOT OF OUR TALK GOES WAY BACK TO WHEN WE WERE BABIES AND CHILDREN...IT IS LIKE WE COMPARE NOTES ABOUT OUR WHOLE LIFE, GOING BACK TO CHILDHOOD, AND WE DON'T MISS ANYTHING...........I LOVE JIMMY SO....I AM ONE OF THOSE WOMEN WHO TELLS HER HUSBAND EVERYTHING.....AND HE DOES THE SAME WITH ME........NO STONE IS LEFT UNTURNED........ BEING CONNECTED BY PHONE IS CRUCIAL TO OUR MARRIAGE...AND SO, I BLESS "ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL," EVERYDAY, FOR INVENTING THE PHONE!       :)

I ASKED JIMMY TO WRITE DOWN HIS VIEWS ON PRISON...THIS IS WHAT HE WROTE.....

 

DEAR FRAN.....MY DARLING LITTLE WIFE,

WOULD YOU LIKE MY THOUGHTS ON JAIL?  WELL, HERE GOES.....

I AM NO VIRGIN TO JAIL.  BEFORE THIS BID, I DID 8 MONTHS, THEN 18 MONTHS.  I MUST BE TRUTHFUL. IT WAS VERY EASY FOR ME. 

I AM A SMART, QUIET, WHITE GUY.  I KEPT BUSY READING. WRITING, HELPING OTHER INMATES, AND YES, ALSO OFFICERS AND STAFF WITH THEIR PERSONAL LEGAL WOES.

ONE DAY, TWO BIDS AGO, IT WAS LOUD, NOISY, ...PEPPERED WITH A LOT OF TENSION.  MY BUNKIE SAID TO ME, "THIS IS HORRIBLE."  I SAID TO HIM, "IT COULD NE WORSE.  I COULD BE HOME."  HE LOOKED AT ME AS IF I WERE NUTS.  YOU SEE, I HAD NO ONE ON THE OUTSIDE WHO LOVED OR CARED ABOUT ME.  THE FUNNY THING IS, I ALWAYS WENT TO JAIL TO KEEP SOMEONE ELSE OUT.  SO THE DEAL WAS, I WOULD TAKE THE FALL.  I HAD MONEY AND A HOME, BUT NOBODY LOVED ME.  USED ME. YES.  LOVED ME, NO.

NOW, THIS BID HAS BEEN A REAL M----R F----R,  FROM THE FIRST DAY.  THIS CHARGE HAPPENED A YEAR BEFORE I MARRIED  FRAN.  ALL I DO IS CRAVE HER.  AND THE LIFE WE HAD.

I FEEL EMPTY, SICK...NOT AWAKE.....CAUGHT IN A BAD DREAM.

THERE'S NOT A MOMENT, OR SECOND, WHERE I DO NOT HURT FROM MISSING HER.  AND I THINK, 'WHY GOD, COULD I HAVE NOT MET HER 30 YEARS AGO?"

................WRITTEN BY JIMMY JAN. 9, 2006

(THIS IS AN ESSAY WRITTEN BY A MAN, MY HUSBAND, WHO HAS BEEN LOCKED UP IN AN 8X9 FT. CELL, SINCE THE FIRST WEEK IN DECEMBER, NOW 6 WEEKS LATER, LET OUT FOR ONLY AN HOUR OR SO EACH DAY.  WITHIN THAT CELL, HE HAS A ROOM MATE AND A TOILET THEY SHARE.  I THOUGHT YOU MAY FIND IT INTERESTING JUST WHAT GOES ON IN THE MIND OF A MAN WHO IS LOCKED UP IN SUCH TIGHT QUARTERS....WITH NOTHING TO DO...BARELY ANY READING MATERIAL...NO RADIO ...NOTHING BUT THEIR THOUGHTS.........FRAN)