JIMMY'S PAROLE DATE

HI EVERYBODY!.....I CAN'T KEEP IT A SECRET ANY LONGER!....JIMMY'S PAROLE DATE IS MARCH 6, 2006...YES. HE WILL BE COMING HOME ON THAT DAY, AND WE ARE VERY EXCITED.  AS OF TOMORROW, THAT IS 7 WEEKS AWAY.  WE SPOKE 2 TIMES ON THE PHONE TODAY, AND JIMMY IS VERY EXCITED, AND SAYS IT WILL BE A LONG 7 WEEKS.  HE BELIEVES THAT HE WILL BE STAYING AT "CRAF."  HE SAID HE WILL APPLY TO BE TRANSFERRED UPSTAIRS, WHERE THE CELLS ARE LARGER, AND HE WILL HAVE ACCESS TO THE LAW LIBRARY.  ALSO I CAN SEND HIM PAPERBACK BOOKS THERE (WHERE HE IS NOW, IN THE 8X9FT CELL, THERE IS A VERY LIMITED AMOUNT OF READING MATERIAL...LIKE YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOU CAN GET A NOVEL TO READ)..............ON TUESDAY, I WILL GO TO THE POST OFFICE, TO MAIL SEVERAL MANILLA ENVELOPES FULL OF NEWSPAPER ARTICLES OPF INTEREST TO JIMMY THAT I CUT OUT, AND COMPUTER PRINT-OUTS OF THINGS HE WILL LIKE TO READ....I ALSO HAVE ALWAYS PRINTED OUT THIS JOURNAL, AND SEND IT TO HIM.  HE THEN SHARES IT WITH THE OTHER INMATES...........I MUST HAVE AROUND 8 THINGS TO MAIL HIM.

WE NOW DECDED TO MAKE THIS TIME PASS AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, AND SO WE WILL DO LITTLE PROJECTS TO MAKE IT GO QUICKER....THE "KEY" IS TO "DIVERT" YOUR MIND.  AND SO, JIMMY ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR 2 PAPERBACK BOOKS ON AMAZON, THAT I CAN SEND HIM....ONE IS A BOOK ON LATIN, SO HE CAN SPEND HIS TIME REVIEWING LATIN.  JIMMY AND I BOTH KNOW LATIN, AND WE WERE "A" STUDENTS IN IT, IN HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE.  I KNOW IT SOUNDS A LITTLE "DRY" TO MOST, BUT WE BOTH LIKE IT........HE ALSO ASKED ME TO PICK  A NOVEL HE MIGHT LIKE....THEN WE CAME UP WITH "THE DAVINCI CODE."..........JIMMY 'THINKS" A LOT.  SO HE HAS TOLD ME ALL THE THINGS WE WILL DO WHEN HE GETS BACK.  FOR EXAMPLE, HE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE ME TO CENTRAL PARK , AND TAKE A ROMANTIC HORSE-DRIVEN CARRIAGE RIDE THROUGH CENTRAL PARK. (I DID THIS IN SEVILLE, SPAIN),  THEN STOP FOR LUNCH AT "TAVERN ON THE GREEN."  AND THEN DO A LITTLE SHOPPING IN NEW YORK...MACY'S , BLOOMINGDALES, ETC........JIMMY IS A VERY ROMANTIC MAN.........AND IF YOU SAW HIM OUT OF HIS PRISON GARB, YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND JUST WHAT I AM SAYING........JIMMY NOT ONLY "CONTROLS THE ROOM", THROUGH HIS PRESENCE, AS WE WALK INTO A RESTAURANT, BUT HE TREATS ME LIKE A PRINCESS..........OF COURSE, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, JIMMY MUST GET APPROVAL FROM PAROLE BEFORE HE GOES ANYWHERE ......HE ALSO SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO TAKEME SOMEWHERE TO THE BEACH, FOR A FEW DAYS  (ALTHOUGH WE LIVE AT THE BEACH!)........IT WILL BE A ROMANTIC RENDEVOUZ!......WE WILL WATCH THE SUN RISE, AND THE MOONLIT SKY AT NIGHT...WE WILL WATCH THE WAVES AND OCEAN, AND JUST BE ONE WITH NATURE AND GOD.......AND EACH OTHER.

AND SO, I LISTEN TO ALL THE THINGS MY HUSBAND DAY-DREAMS ABOUT 24 HOURS/DAY IN THAT TINY CELL...AND I KNOW THAT ONCE HOME, HE WILL MAKE IT A REALITY....BECAUSE THAT IS JUST HOW JIMMY IS........A WONDERFULLY ROMANTIC MAN!

AS FOR MYSELF, DURING THIS 7 WEEK PERIOD, I HAVE DECIDED TO ONCE AGAIN RESUME WATCHING TV, AND MOVIES ON CABLE, AND ON-DEMAND.  SO, LAST NIGHT I WATCHED "DRACULA, " AND "OCEANS 12."  I KEEP A WRITTEN LIST OF ALL THE MOVIES I SEE, AND THEN I DISCUSS THEM WITH JIMMY FOR A FEW MINUTES ON THE PHONE.........I WAS UP TO 75 MOVIES, IN A FEW MONTHS, BUT STOPPED WHEN ALL THIS STARTED IN DEC. AS I FELT SO ILL THE ENTIRE MONTH OF DECEMBER........BUT, NOW, I CAN ONCE AGAIN START LIVING AGAIN, AND IT FEELS NICE.....

"JIMMY'S LOVE LETTER TO ME"

FRANCES,  I KISS YOUR EYES, YOUR EARS, YOUR NOSE, YOUR HANDS, YOUR LIPS.  THERE IS NO OTHER WOMAN IN THIS WORLD, OR UNIVERSE, THAT CAN COMPARE TO YOU.  THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME LOVE YOU......"YOUR JIMMY"

"ANOTHER LOVE LETTER"

FRANCES, MY DARLING WIFE......THE DAY WE FIRST TALKED WAS MARCH 1, 2001.  I WAS 59 DAYS OLDER THE DAY WE WED, APRIL 29, 2001.  WE SPENT 709 WONDERFUL DAYS TOGETHER,  BEFORE I CAME TO JAIL.  TODAY (1/2/06), WE HAVE BEEN APART 1000 NIGHTS.   I PROMISE I WILL NEVER SPEND ANOTHER NIGHT OUT OF YOUR EMBRASS.  LOVE, YOUR HUSBAND FOREVER........   (jimmy wrote this letter after someone...maybe an angel, told him in his sleep, that he had been away from me for 1000 nights).

.....SO HAPPY!

WE ARE SO HAPPY! JIMMY CALLED ME 3 TIMES TODAY....HE SOUNDS SO GOOD, LAUGHING AND JOKING WITH ME!........HE IS COUNTING THE DAYS UNTIL HE COMES HOME IN MARCH, ON PAROLE.......HE ALREADY IS MAKING LISTS, AND TELLING ME EXACTLY WHAT HE WILL DO WHEN HE GETS HERE, AROUND THE HOUSEHOLD....AND DON'T WORRY, I'M INCLUDED IN THAT!.....HE  SAYS HE'LL PUT ME BACK IN TRAINING AGAIN, SINCE IT HAS BEEN 3 YEARS THAT HE HAS BEEN HOME, EXCEPT FOR THE 8 FURLOUGHS.......NOW, WHEN I SAY 'TRAINING, " I DON'T MEAN CLEANING THE HOUSE AND COOKING.  NO, I MEAN 'LOVE-MAKING!"..........SO, I GUESS I'D BETTER REST UP, BETWEEN NOW AND MARCH, AS I'LL HAVE A LOT OF WORK, (or play), WHEN HE GETS HERE.....MY HUSBAND IS A MAN WHO IS ALWAYS FULL OF ENERGY...HE IS VERY ENERGETIC......A MAN LET OUT OF PRISON, WHO WAS THERE FOR 3 YEARS.....I BETTER WATCH OUT!

I'VE BEGUN TO FEEL SO GOOD, I EVEN GOT UP AT 11 AM TODAY.....I DID THINGS IN THE HOUSEHOLD, AND MADE A BIG POT OF VEGTABLE SOUP FOR MYSELF, WITH FRESH VEGETABLES, AND INDIAN SPICES.  IT HAS BEEN RAINING HEAVILY ALL DAY AND LAST NIGHT, HERE IN JERSEY...THERE EVEN WERE THUNDERSTORMS ALL LAST NIGHT, WHICH IS UNUSUAL,,,,THEY ARE SAYING IT WILL TURN TO SNOW TONIGHT........SO THINGS ARE STRANGE RIGHT NOW!

WELL, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.....COULD I SAY MORE?.....JIMMY AND I ARE VERY MUCH IN LOVE!.......DESPITE THE FACT THAT THIS COMING APRIL IS OUR 5TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, OURS IS STILL A "NEW" LOVE, AND WR BELIEVE IT ALWAYS WILL BE THAT WAY........JIMMY STILL TELLS ME ON THE PHONE THAT "I STILL GIVE HIM CHILLS."..........AND IT IS THE SAME FOR ME...JIMMY STILL GIVES ME CHILLS...........

IT IS MORE THAN CHILLS.........FOR 3 YEARS , DESPITE BEING PHYSICALLY SEPERATED, WE HAVE LAID IN EACH OTHERS ARMS, EVERYNIGHT IN BED......WE HAVE FELT EACH OTHERS PRESENCE AROUND US AT ALL TIMES....I WALK AROUND THE HOUSEHOLD, TALKING TO JIMMY...TELLING HIM THINGS........WHAT I HAVE LEARNED IN THIS EXPERIENCE, IS THAT PRISONER'S AND THEIR WIVES DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP FAR SUPERIOR THAN MOST OTHERS,,,,THEIR 6TH SENSE DEVELOPS, EVEN MORE THAN EVER....THERE IS A VERY CEMENTED BOND, BETWEEN THE TWO.....AND DESPITE ALL THE "HORRIFYING " PARTS OF HAVING YOUR HUSBAND IN PRISON, IT IS REALLY THE ULTIMATE STRENGTHENING EXPEIENCE, IN THE LONG RUN........."OUR LOVE CAN SURVIVE PRISON WALLS.".........ANDI HOPE ALL THE PRISONER'S WIVES READING THIS JOURNAL, WILL EXPERIENCE WHAT JIMMY AND I HAVE, IN OUR LOVE.......

GOOD-NIGHT, EVERYONE!                  FRAN

JIMMY AND FRAN

HI EVERYONE!

I FEEL SO GOOD TODAY, AS IF A VERY LARGE WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS.  I FEEL LIKE I CAN START TO LIVE LIFE AGAIN....AS IF THERE IS A PURPOSE TO LIFE....A PURPOSE TO ACTUALLY GET OUT OF BED, AND BE PRODUCTIVE (ALTHOUGH JIMMY ALWAYS TELLS ME I DO MY BEST WORK IN BED!)......OH YES, HERE IT IS...I FEEL MY HUMOR RETURNING TO ME, ONCE AGAIN!......HEAVEN FORBID, DON'T BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH JIMMY AND I, AS WE WILL BOTH HAVE YOU LAUGHING VERY HARD.....JIMMY AND I ARE OUR BEST WHEN WE ARE "COMBINED.".........WE HAVE A NATURAL ABILITY TO BE COMICAL WHEN TOGETHER....SOMETHING LIKE "BURNS AND ALLEN."......AND YES, HE DOES LIKE TO CALL ME "GRACIE."

YES, ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE, I GUESS THE BURDEN OF DEPRESSION IS BEGINNING TO LIFT FROM ME........AS JIMMY WILL BE COMING HOME ON PAROLE IN SOMETHING LIKE 6 WEEKS.................

.........AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

SO FOR ME.......US.........LIFE NOW BECOMES MORE "BALANCED."........MORE "HARMONIOUS."...........MORE PURPOSE TO LIFE..............TO CONTINUE ONWARDS, ON AN "EVEN KEEL."............TO MAINTIAN  "OUR HOUSEHOLD."

DOING ONE SINGLE THING IN THIS HOUSEHOLD, IS IMPORTANT, BECAUSE I AM DOING IT FOR THE 2 OF US........

.JIMMY AND I ARE ONE, AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN , NOT ONLY IN THIS LIFE, BUT IN MANY OTHERS............

WHEN I SAY "FRAN,"  I REALLY MEAN "FRAN AND JIMMY," AS WE ARE ONE AND THE SAME....THAT IS HOW CONNECTED WE ARE TO EACH OTHER.

JIMMY TOLD ME ON THE PHONE, " I LOVE TO LOOK INTO YOUR EYES....THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL........YOUR EYES CHANGE COLOR FROM BLUE TO GREEN, TO HAZEL TO GREY."............UNUSUAL, ISN'T IT, TO HAVE EYES THAT ARE NEVER THE SAME COLOR!"...........AND WHEN I LOOK INTO HIS INTENSE DEEP BROWN EYES, I SEE THINGS THAT ARE DEEP, LIKE THE UNIVERSE..........I ALWAYS HAVE LOVED TO GAZE INTO JIMMY'S EYES..........

OH GOD!.......LIFE MOVES SO SLOW FOR ME.........SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T STAND IT...........

WHEN JIMMY WALKED OUT THE FRONT DOOR, ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO, ON HIS WAY TO JAIL, WE WERE A MARRIED COUPLE, IN A VERY YOUNG MARRIAGE....WE HAD ONLY BEEN MARRIED FOR 2 YEARS AT THE TIME.......OUR LOVE WAS "A YOUNG LOVE," BUT HAS ONLY GROWN AND RIPPENED AND MATURED, WITH THE PASSING OF TIME.........

...SUCH IS LIFE!.......................FRAN

SMILE

I MUST NOW, ONCE AGAIN, START PRACTICING TO SMILE.......YOU SEE, LAST SPRING, WHEN THINGS STARTED LOOKING UP, I STARTED SMILING, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 3/03, WHEN JIMMY WENT TO PRISON.......ALL THROUGHOUT THE SUMMER 2005, I WAS SMILING.........BUT I STOPPED IN DECEMBER 2005,  WHEN THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED.........I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR, TODAY, AND SAW MY FACE WAS DROOPING DOWNWARDS........I BET A LOT OF PRISONER'S WIVES GO THROUGH THIS.............I ALWAYS TELL JIMMY, I CAN TELL IF A WOMAN IS A PRISONER'S WIFE, BY THE INTENSE, SAD LOOK IN HER EYES, AND THE EXPRESSION ON HER FACE.........YES, DURING MY ORDEAL THESE YEARS, I HAVE BECOME VERY PERCEPTIVE ABOUT THE PRISONER'S WIFE.......IT IS A CERTAIN LOOK SHE CARRIES ON HER FACE..........IT IS AS IF "SHE IS BRANDED."  IT IS A SADNESS SHE CARRIES WITHIN HER SOUL.

I MUST TELL YOU, I WILL CONTINUE TO WRIIE THIS JOURNAL, EVEN WHEN JIMMY COMES HOME.......I BELIEVE THROUGH THE COMMENTS YOU WRITE, THAT THIS JOURNAL HELPS THOSE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD, AWAITING THEIR LOVED ONES IN PRISON.........

I'LL TELL YOU A LITTLE SECRET THAT HELPED ME LAST SPRING....TO START SMILING.............I WAS READING A SPIRITUAL BOOK THAT SAID "GOD WANTS YOU TO SMILE AND BE HAPPY."  IT INSTRUCTED YOU TO SMILE IN THE MORNING , AS YOU SHOWERED....EVEN IF IT HURT THE MUSCLES IN YOUR FACE.......AND SO, I STARTED DOING JUST THAT........AND IT WAS VERY HARD AT FIRST....AND YES, THE MUSCLES IN MY FACE HURT........AND SUDDENLY MY SAD EYES STARTED TO GLOW AND RADIATE HAPPINESS.

AND SO, I WILL START ALL OVER AGAIN....TO SMILE....AND I WILL BELIEVE IN ALL THOSE THINGS IN LIFE, S.UCH AS MIRACLES............I WILL START AGAIN, FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, TO START AFRESH IN LIFE....TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF...CALL IT WHAT YOU MAY.........WE ALL DO IT TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD............

AND I WILL START SMILING AGAIN....AND THE MORE I DO IT, THE EASIER IT WILL BECOME............AND I WILL BE A BETTER PERSON, TO HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE OF LIFE...........

I WILL HAVE FAITH, NOT ONLY IN GOD AND THE UNIVERSE, BUT IN MAN, HIMSELF..........

                                                                             FRAN

 

THE BEST NEWS EVER!

I GOT THE BEST NEWS EVER, A LITTLE WHILE AGO, FROM JIMMY........PAROLE SPOKE WITH HIM TODAY, AND GAVE HIM HIS ACTUAL PAROLE DATE, WHICH IS THE FIRST WEEK OF MARCH, 2006........YES, JIMMY WILL ACTUALLY BE COMING HOME IN MARCH  ( i know the actual date)......IT IS INCREDIBLE ALL THIS IS HAPPENING....SORT OF LIKE A DREAM..........AND IT HAPPENS AT A TIME I FELT I WOULD LITERALLY CRUMBLE UP, AND DISAPPEAR...INTO THIN AIR, THAT IS.......IT HAPPENED AT A TIME I FELT I HAD LOST ALL FAITH IN THE HUMAN RACE........BUT NOW ONCE AGAIN, YES, I HAVE SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR........WHEN I SPOKE TO JIMMY, HE WAS SIMPLY ON TOP OF THE WORLD!  JIMMY, WITH HIS "COMPUTER BRAIN, " IS CALCULATING EXACTLY HOW MANY DAYS TILL HIS RELEASE.  I DON'T KNOW!  I MUST BE DREAMING!....PLEASE PINCH ME!

ON A SADDER NOTE, I MUST MENTION THAT RAMONA BELL DIED LAST WEEK AT THE AGE OF 47, FROM A SEVERE ASTHMA ATTACK.................RAMONA WAS THE BELOVED WIFE OF ART BELL, COAST TO COAST RADIO HOST.  JIMMY AND I ARE BIG FANS OF ART BELL.  ART AND RAMONA LIVE IN PAHRUMP, NEVADA...AROUND 30 MILES FROM LAS VEGAS, WHERE HE BROADCASTED HIS SHOWS FROM HIS HOME......WHEN I MET JIMMY FOR THE FIRST TIME, IN INDIAN SPRINGS, NEVADA, JIMMY ASKED ME TO DRIVE HIM TO PAHRUMP, SO HE COULD SEE THE LITTLE SLEEPY TOWN WHERE ART BELL LIVED  (AT THAT TIME THERE WERE NO TRAFFIC LIGHTS)....AND SO I DID!.....AND THEN WE WENT TO "TERRIBLE'S CASINO," WHILE THERE.........

AND SO, WE ARE VERY SADDENED BY THIS SHOCKING, AND UNEXPECTED NEWS.......RAMONA AND ART WERE SOMEWHAT LIKE JIMMY AND MYSELF....IN THEIR 15 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, THEY HAD NOT BEEN SEPERATED ONE DAY.......JIMMY AND I ARE LIKE THAT, EXCEPT UNFORTUNATELY PRISON WALLS SEPERATED US, FOR 3 YEARS, PHYSICALLY, BUT NOT MENTALLY .

COAST TO COAST AM WITH GEORGE NOORY

THIS IS THE WEB-SITE, THAT YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING.......THE RADIO SHOW WAS TAKEN OVER BY GEORGE NOORY A FEW YEARS AGO.  I HAVE TROUBLE FINDING IT ON THE RADIO WHERE I LIVE HERE, BUT IN LAS VEGAS, I LISTENED TO IT EVERYNIGHT......JIMMY WAS ABLE TO GET THE STATION WHILE IN PRISON.......THEY TALK ABOUT DIFFERENT, AND UNUSUAL THINGS ON THE SHOW.....

AND SO, I WILL SAY GOOD-NIGHT NOW, WITH WONDERFUL NEWS FROM JIMMY ABOUT HIS PAROLE...BUT I MUST ALSO ASK THAT ART BELL BE GIVEN THE STRENGTH FROM ABOVE, THAT HE NEEDS AT THIS TIME, TO CARRY ON IN LIFE, WITHOUT HIS WIFE BY HIS SIDE...................FRAN

craf...west trenton,nj

JIMMY IS STILL AT "CRAF."  EVERYTHING IS STILL THE SAME.  HE HOPES THEY WILL MOVE HIM TONIGHT....HE CALLED ME AT 5:30 PM, AS HE ALWAYS DOES.......2, 15 MINUTE CALLS. WE PROFESSED OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER, AS ALWAYS!

HE TOLD ME THAT HIS ROOM MATE, WAS IN A FORMER PRISON WITH A FELLOW HERE, IN OCEAN COUNTY,  WHO WAS CONVICTED AND LOCKED UP FOR HAVING SEX WITH A DOG, SEVERAL MONTHS AGO.  I HAD SEEN IT IN THE NEWSPAPER, AND HAD SENT THE CLIPPING TO JIMMY....WELL, HIS ROOM MATE SAID THAT WHENEVER THIS INMATE WALKED INTO THE "TIER, " ALL THE OTHER INMATES WOULD START BARKING!......YES, LOTS OF FUNNY THINGS GOING ON IN PRISON!

JIMMY AND I SPOKE MOSTLY ABOUT WHAT I WENT THROUGH  YESTERDAY....I HAD TO GO BEFORE A JUDGE, IN A COURTROOM, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE...AND LET ME TELL YOU , IT WAS VERY SCARY....IT WAS NOTHING TO DO WITH JIMMY, BUT WAS SOME PERSONAL BUSINESS........IT IS STRANGE, BECAUSE JIMMY IS A CRIMINAL, AND YET, I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN IN A COURTROOM....THANK GOD MY ATTORNEY SPOKE FOR ME, BUT LET ME TELL YOU, THE JUDGE QUESTIONED ME FOR A GOOD HOUR.......MY ATTORNEY IS CERTAIN WE WON THE CASE.............HOWEVER, I'M STILL SHAKING TODAY, AND SO, I SLEPT THE WHOLE DAY AWAY...........WHEN JIMMY CALLED ME , HE BEGGED ME TO GET UP......AND SO, I DID, AND TOOK PRINCE OUT, FED THE ANIMALS, MADE THE COFFEE, AND TOOK THE NEWSPAPER IN.....I MADE MYSELF A SALAD, AND BROWN RICE...AND AS FOR PRINCE, HE GOT A LONDON BROIL, I HAD IN THE FREEZER.....AND YES, NOW, LIFE GOES ON...........TOMORROW I'LL TRY TO GET OUT AND GO SHOPPING TO BUY SOME MORE FOOD FOR PRINCE........

GOOD-NIGHT!............FRAN

JIMMY IS STILL AT "CRAF," AWAITING TRANSFER TO THE NEXT PLACE.  WE SPOKE TWICE TODAY.  AND HE WAS HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO BE IN COMMUNICATION WiTH ME, THROUGH THIS VERY STRESSFUL AND EVENTFUL DAY (FOR ME).  HOWEVER, WE ARE BOTH GLAD TODAY IS OVER, AND WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO TOMORROW.

                                                                   ...FRAN...