LIFE GOES ON.

HERE IT IS, THE END OF JUBE, AMD I'M STILL SITTING HERE WAITING AROUND FOR JIMMY.  FRIDAY, JULY 1ST WILL BE MY THIRD BIRTHDAY, WITHOUT JIMMY.  THE FIRST 2 YEARS, MY AUNT AND SISTER CALLED ME WEEKS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY, AND TOOK ME OUT TO DINNER, ALONMG WITH BALLOONS, CAKE, CANDLES, AND PRESENTS...THIS YEAR, I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM THEM.  WHAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND, THAT A WIFE WHOSE HUSBANMD IS IN PRISON, IS VERY DEPRESSED THE FIRST YEAR, NO LESS THE SECOND.  BUT AS YOU MOVE INTO THE THIRD YEAR, YOU ARE TOTLLY ISOLATED, AND WOULD REALLY LIKE PEOPLE TO HELP YOU OUT OF THE DEPRESSED LIFE YOU HAVE EMERGED INTO.  WHEN YOUR HUSBAND GOES TO PRISON, YOU GO THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS.  THE GREIVING PROCESS IS NOT ONLY FOR THE DEATH, OR EVEN DIVORCE OF PEOPLE.  IT CAN PERTAIN TO ANY LOSS IN YOUR LIFE.  IT IS NORMAL TO GO THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS...WHAT I'VE READ, IS THAT IT MAY LAST 6 MONTHS, BUT MORE THAN THAT IT IS NOT GOOD...AND SO, YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW IT IS TO REMAIN 2 YEARS 3 MONTHS WITHIN THE GRIEVING PROCESS.  WHAT I'VE READ , IS THAT GRIEF LEADS TO DESPAIR, LEADS TO DEPRESSION, AND THEN UBFORTUNATELY CA LEAD TO SUICIDE, IF IT GOES ON TOO LONG.  AS FOR ME, I STILL GRIVE THAT MY HUSBAND IS NOT HERE WITH ME, BUT I'VE SOMEHOW BEEN ABLE TO PU;; MUSELF OUT OF THE SLUMP OF LIOFE, AND PROCEED ON...I BUSYMYSELF WITH THINGS, AND TRY AS BEST TO ORGANIZE MY LIFE...TALKING IN THIS JOUIRNAL HELPS ME.  ALSO, I AM HAPPY TO HELP OTHERS WHO READ THIS AND GO THREW THE SAME PROCESS I DO.  HOWEVER, THE WORDS 'HAVING A GOOD TIME," DO NOT EXIST IN MY VOCABULARY, RIGHT NOW.  I FELL THAT I WOULD DISRESPECT MY HUSBAND TO "HAVE A GOOD TIME,"  AND NO ONE PLEASES ME MORE THAN BEING WITH MY HUSBAND, ANYHOW.  SO, FOR ME, PLEASURE IS KEEPING THE HOUSEHOLD GOING, KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH MY HUBBY, AND RIGHT NOW WITING FOR THE PAROLE BOARD TO CALL ME, SO HE CAN START HIS FURLOUGHS HOME.  DAWN, IN RESPONSE TO YOUR COMMENT, JIMMY HAD TO SEND TO THE PAROLE BOARD, A SMALL FEE TO PROCESS HIS PAPERS FOR HIS FURLOUGHS HOME TO BEGIN....I BELIEVE IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE 14 DOLLARS.  NOW, HERE IS A BIT OF INFORMATION YOU MAY BE SURPRISED TO HEAR, AS TO EXACTLY WHAT GOES ON IN OUR PENAL SYSTEM....JIMMY HAS TO PAY KINTOCK, THE HALF-WAY HOUSE WHERE HE STAYS, A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF MONEY FROM HIS PAYCHECKS...I WILL NOT SAY EXACRLY HOW MUCH, BUT IT IS OVER 100 DOLLARS EACH PAYCHECK....I GUESS HE IS PAYING FOR HIS ROOM AND BOARD...OH WELL...LEFE GOES ON....I DON'T WRITE TOO MUCH ON THE COMPUTER ANYMORE BECAUSE IT IS STILL NOT SET UP FOR ME PROPERLY , YET...I WILL TRY TO FIX THINGS.....WITH LOVE, AND HOPE ALL IS WELL IN YORE LIVES...KEEP RADING MY THOUGHTS!..........fran

hello

HI EVERYONE!....SO, HOW IS LIFE FOR YOU?!....MOVING ALONG, I HOPE...AS FOR ME, IT MOVES ALONG, BUT EVER SO SLOWLY....IT'S LIKE I'M AN OUTSIDER LOOKING IN...I HOPE YOU ARE ALL ENJOYING THE SUMMER....I LISTEN TO THE RADIO AND HEAR ABOUT ALL THE WEEKEND ACTIVITIES AND EVENTS GOING ON 'DOWN THE SHORE."...THE JERSEY SHORE MEANS A LOT TO JIMMY AND I....IT WAS THE PLACE TO BE, WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP AS CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS....I STILL LOVE THE SHORE, AND IT BRINGS BACK MANY MEMORIES...THE SHORE WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC SPOT ON THIS EARTH...EVEN NOW, BEFORE JIMMY WENT TO PRISON, HE WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOARDWALK..WE HAD ALL OUR FAVORITE PLACES, AND FOOD....ITALIAN SAUSAGE AND PEPPERS...CLAMS ON THE HALF-SHELL...PIZZA....ZEPOLLI...CUSTARD ICE CREAM...AND OH YES, THE CANDY SHOP, WITH ALL SORTS OF GOODIES, INCLUDING SALT WATER TAFFY.......SEASIDE IS AROUND 15 MINUTES FROM OUR HOUSE...AND HE WOULD TAKE ME TO THE ABANDONED ASBURY PARK...WE WOULD SIT ON THE BOARDWALK AND LOOK AT ALL THE DELAPIDATED BOARDWALK...JIMMY WOULD TELL ME THIS WAS THIS, AND THAT WAS THAT...SO MANY YEARS AGO...AND WE WOULD REMEMBER GOING ON THE RIDES, AND INTO THE FUN HOUSE..............BUT NOW, I STILL SIT HERE ALONE.  THE NEXT STEP OF THIS PRISON PROCESS, IS THAT ALL THE FORMS AND MONEY HAS BEEN SENT TO THE PAROLE BOARD.  SO NOW, IT IS 2 WEEKS LATER, AND I WAIT FOR THE PHONE CALL.  THEY WILL VERIFY OUR HOME ADDRESS, AND CONE VISIT ME HERE, TO MAKE SURE THERE IS A HOME WAITING FOR JIMMY TO COME BACK TO...AFTER THAT, HE WILL START HIS FURLOUGHS HOME...SO, I GUESS IT'S NOT ALL SO BAD.  YOU MUST REALIZE, HOWEVER, THAT JIMMY AND I WERE TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE...WE HAVE BEEN APART FOR MORE THAT WE LIVED TOGETHER...WE ARE APART 2 YEARS, 3 MONTHS.  I GUESS YOU MAY SAY WE HAVE A VERY UNIQUE MARRIAGE....I DON'T THINK MANY PEOPLE COULD HAVE STAYED SO CONNECTED AS WE HAVE....JIMMY KNOWS AND ACCEPTS THAT I SLEEP MOST OF THE DAY AWAY...IT IS EASIER FOR ME THAT WAY....BUT, WHEN I DO GET UP AT 5 OR 7 PM, I AM VERY CONSTRUCTIVE.....I HAVE BEEN SHAMPOOING RUGS, AND DECLUTTERING...I HAVE THROWN AWAY HALF OF THE STUFF IN THIS HOUSEOLD....EVERYDAY I THROW STIFF AWAY...OR GIVE IT AWAY...I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE REMINDED OF THE PAST....THESE 2. 3 YEARS, ANYHOW....JIMMY CONTINUES TO CALL ME EVERYDAY AT 11:20 am FROM THE BUS STOP, ON HIS WAY TO ATLANTIC CITY, TO HIS JOB....I WAKE UP A LITTLE, AND TALK TO HIM..THEN HE TELLS ME TO GO BACK TO SLEEP...WE TALK SEVERAL TIMES, AND THEN HE CALLS ME AT 11 PM, AS HE IS CLOSING THE STORE...AND THEN AROUND 2 OR 3 AM, FROM KINTOCK, AS HE HAS ARRIVED BACK....MY HUSBAND IS A VERY ORGANIZED TYPE OF MAN...HE IS ALSO PERSISITENT.....TONITE, I CALLED THE LOCAL RADIO STATION AND DEDICATED A SONG TO JIMMY....IT IS WJRZ  100.1 FM...JUKE BOX RADIO WEEKEND....JIMMY'S FAVORITE SONG........"IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT."....I ACTUALLY SPOKE WITH THE RADIO BROADCASTER...AND I GOT MY ACTUAL VOICE ON THE RADIO, DEDICATING THE SONG.....I WAS SO SHOCKED TO EVEN GET THROUGH, AS LAST WEEK IT WAS BUSY....ANYHOW, I RECORDED IT, AND PLAYED IT N THE PHONE FOR JIMMY...DOESN'T SOUND TOO BAD.....I WILL BE DOING IT AGAIN NEXT WEEK, AND MAYBE EVERY WEEK, IF I CAN, UNTIL JIMMY COMES HOME..........ANSWERING A PREVIOUS COMMENT, MY HUSBAND IS NO LONGER IN PRISON, BUT NOW IN A WORKING HALF-WAY HOUSE....EVERYONE THERE MUST HAVE A JOB, SO HE WORKS IN ATLANTIC CITY, AS THE ASISSTANT MANAGER IN A LARGE FOOD-STORE CHAIN....HE RIDES THE BUS TO AND FROM KINTOCK, FOR A TOTAL OF 5 HOURS OF TRAVELING EVERYDAY....HE MUST CALL KINTOCK TO REPOR IN SEVERAL TIMES PER DAY.....PHONE CALLS ARE DIFFERENT IN THE HALF-WAY HOUSE....NO LONGER RSESTRICED TO 15 MINUTE  COLLECT CALLS, NOW HE USES A PHONE CARD, WHICH IS MUCH CHEAPER....THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RADING MY JOURNAL.  I WILL TRY TO KEEP UP WITH IT MORE.  LATELY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN MUCH, AS I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THINGS READY FOR JIMMY HERE, AND THE COMPUTERS AREN'T EXACTLY RIGHT FOR MY EYESIGHT YET....JIMMY HAS TOLD ME WHICH LAMP TO BUY THAT WILL HELP ME......GOOD NITE AND SWEET DREAMS.......FRAN

I'M SOOOO HAPPYYYY

I'M SOOO VERY HAPPYYYYY!!!  I FINALLY GOT MY COMPUTER BACK TOGETHER, WITH THE BIG SCREEN AND WHITE KEYBOARD....I'M THINKING OF NOW BECOMING A COMPUTER TECH, AS I TAUGHT MYSELF ABOUT THE WIRES AND CABLES, ALONG WITH MY HUSBAND'S HELP ON THE PHONE  (just kidding)....WITHOUT MY COMPUTER, I FELT LIKE I HAD LOST MY BEST FRIEND.  I CAN NOW BEGIN TO WRITE STORIES AGAIN FOR PUBLICATION, WHICH I JUST LOVE DOING...JIMMY JUST CALLED ME ON MY CELL , SO I HAVE TO GO....WILL TALK TO YOU LATER!......FRAN

I'M BACK!

HI EVERYONE!....I'M BACK ON LINE!....I FINALLY GOT OUR COMPUTERS WORKING ...HOWEVER, I'M USING THE DELL LAPTOP, AND NOT THE BIG SCREEN TABLETOP, SO IT IS A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT TO USE , FOR ME, AS THE LAPTOP HAS A BLACK KEYBOARD, WHICH I HAVE DIFFICULTY SEEING.....I WILL SOON  GET EVERYTHING SET UP IN MY SPARE BEDROOM, BUT IT WILL TAKE TIME, AND ALSO I HAVE MY GATEWAY DESKTOP BEING REPAIRED AT THIS TIME.  I MISSED BEING AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER, BUT IN A WAY IT WAS A GOOD REST, TOO.  MOST OF ALL, I MISSED ALL OF YOU, AND A SPECIAL "HI' TO MR. I  (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) .  I HAD 250 E-MAILS, MOSTLY SPAM, WHICH I'M NOW GOING THROUGH.  I GUESS YOU ALL SAW JIMMY'S ENTRY, AND WERE SURPRISED TO SEE HIM ON LINE.  HE HAD  GONE TO THE LIBRARY TO USE THE COMPUTER, AS HE IS LOOKING FOR A PLACE FOR US TO MOVE TO. NEAR ATLANTIC CITY, OR NEAR KINTOCK....SO HE MADE A SURPRISE VISIT HERE!......TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE COMPUTER, THE COMPUTER WAS OF, BUT PLUGGED IN...I WAS SITTING IN MY ROCKING CHAIR IN THE LIVING ROOM, WATCHING TV, AND SMELLED SOMETHING BURNING.  I THOUGHT IS WAS COMING IN FROM OUTSIDE, AS I HAD THE FRONT AND BACK DOORS OPEN, FOR SOME FRESH AIR...THE BURNING SMELL GOT STRONGER.  AS I GOT UP TO INVESTIGATE IT, A SMALL EXPLOSION SOUND CAME FROM THE COMPUTER,, SURGE PROTECTTOR...I QUICLY PULLED THE PLUGS OUT...BIT OF COURSE HAD TO MOVE A BOOKCASE  BEFORE I COULD DO THAT....I GUESS MY ADRENALNE SHOT UP, BECAUSE I WAS ABLE TO MOVE A VERY HEAVY BOOKCASE...LIKE REAL FAST. THE WIRES AND PRONGS OF THE COMPUTER AND SURGE PROTECTOR WERE BLACKENED AND A STRONG BURNING SMELL..EVERYTHING HAD TO BE DISCARDED....THE WALL OUTLETS WENT OUT, SO THE REFRIDGERTOR ALSO WENT OUT, AS IT IS ON THE WALL BEHIND THE COMPUTER...I WAITED TILL THE NEXT MORNING TO RESET THE FUSES...JUST IN CASE THERE WAS A PROBLEM WITH THE HOUSE ELECTRICAL OUTLETS....WHEN IT HAPPENED. I WAS FURTUNATELY ABLE TO CALL JIMMY AT HIS STORE, IN A PANIC...HE CALMED ME DOWN, AND TOLD ME WHAT TO DO....I AM ALWAYS SCARED OF AN EMERGENCY...I CAN GET MYSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE, BUT I HAVE 3 ANIMALS TO GET OUT...AND THAT IS WHAT I ALWAYS WORRY ABOUT.  ...AND SO,THE LAPTOP WAS NOT DAMAGED, AND WITH THE HELP OF MY HUSBAND, DIRECTING ME ON THE PHONE, AND I WENT TO RADIO SHACK TO GET THE CORDS AND ADAPTORS, I WAS ABLE TO SET IT UP AGAIN....I WILL KEEP MY COMPUTER UNPLUGGED, JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE...WE THINK IT WAS EITHER POWER SURGE THAT CAUSED THIS, AS THERE WRE SEVERAL POWER SURGES IN OUR  TOWN THAT WEEK....OR MISTY, OUR CAT PEED ON THE POWER SURGE BREAKER BOX.....WELL, THAKFULLY, IT'S ALL SETTLED NOW!..........AND NOW FOR THE BEST PART OF MY ENTRY.....JIMMY WILL BE COMING HOME , FOR HIS FIRST WEEKEND FURLOUGH HOME, VERY SOON....HOPEFULLY IN A FEW WEEKS, AS THE PAPERWORK HAS GONE THROUGH, BY THE GRACE OF GOD.....YES, I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.....AND SO I BEGIN TO PREPARE THE HOUSEHOLD FOR HIM...AND I DAYDREAM WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE WHEN HE WALKS THROUGH THAT DOOR, FOR THE FIRST TIME.  BEFORE HE WENT TO PRISON, I BOUGHT A SIGN THAT SAYS, "WELCOME HOME"....I REMEMBER THE DAY WE SAW IT AND BOUGHT IT, TOGETHER...IT WAS ALSMOST LIKE A "SIGN" FROM ABOVE , TO SEE SUCH AN UNUSUAL SIGN IN A STORE....AND NOW, FINALLY, I BAN USE IT, AND HANG IT ON THE FRONT DOOR...A DAY I HAVE ONLY DREAMT ABOUT, AND FANTASIZED ABOUT FOR 25 MONTHS.......WITH LOVE, FRAN

Hey ..it me JIMMY

My wife Fran, had a computer problem....it caught Fire.....she will be back on line in a few days...........she misses you all......