IT'S STILL TODAY

TODAY WAS A BEAUTIFUL SPRING DAY.  I GOT UP EARLY, FOR ONCE, AND WALKED 1 MILE, AROUND THE CIRCLE I LIVE ON. THAT WAS 2 LAPS AROUND, AND FOR ME THAT WAS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. I WEAR MY WALKMAN A I WALK, AND SING. I PUSHED MY WHEELCHAIR, BUT NEVER SAT IN IT, AND BROUGHT MY CANE ALONG. I STILL WEAR VELCRO BOOTS ON BOTH FEET, AS I AM UNABLE TO WEAR SHOES, AND I AM TOO SCARED TO EVER EVEN TRY TO PUT SHOES ON MY FEET SINCE I HAD AN AMPUTATION. TO ME, SHOES ARE "LIKE THE ENEMY, " AND I DON'T CARE HOW UGLY MY FEET LOOK WITH THESE SURGICAL-SUPPLY STORE BOOTS. THEY ARE CALLED DARCO BOOTS.  SO, WEARING MY SUNGLASSES, I WALKED IN THE SUN AND FRESH AIR.  I GREETED ALL THE TREES, THAT I SO MISSED SINCE LAST FALL, WHEN I BECAME SICK.  I SAT ON THE PARK BENCHES.  I THEN, WENT HOME AND TOOK PRINCE , MY DOG , OUT FOR A WALK, AND WE SAT OUTSIDE FOR 1 HOUR.   THEN, I EXERCISED WITH A SHOW ON TV.  I COOKED MY VEGETABLES IN THE WOK, AND ATE A SALAD, AND AN APPLE.  I DID EVERYTHING PERFECTLY TODAY.  IT WAS A PERFECT DAY.  AND YET, HERE IT IS, THE EVENING, AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED.  I STILL SIT HERE, ALONE, WITHOUT A HUSBAND.  TODAY IS THE SAME AS EVERYDAY HAS BEEN FOR ME FOR 2 YEARS, NOW GOING ON 3.  NO MATTER HOW HAPPY I AM, OR MAY FEEL, I AM JUST NOT HAPPY ENOUGH.  SOMETIMES I FEEL I BELONG NO WHERE, TO NO ONE.  TODAY I WATCHED OPRAH (IT WAS A REPEAT, I HAD SEEN BEFORE).  IT WAS ABOUT WOMEN ACROSS OUR COUNTRY THAT ARE CHEATING, IN THEIR MARRIAGES.  IT HAS BECOME A NORMAL THING.  EVERYONE, JUST ABOUT DOES IT.  MY HUSBAND GAVE ME PERMISSION, DURING THIS TIME, TO FORM "MALE FRIENDSHIPS, ' IF I SO DESIRE.  HOWEVER, THAT MEANS , 'GOING OUT FOR COFFEE."  I HAVE YET TO FIND ANYONE THAT WANTS TO GO OUT FOR COFFEE.  I ONLY  FIND MEN THAT WANT TO COME HERE AND HAVE SEX. I FIND MEN THAT BEG TO COME TO MY HOUSE.  I FOUND SOMEONE THAT WILL EVEN TAKE ME TO A NUDE BEACH!  I FIND MEN ACROSS OUR COUNTRY WHO WANT TO COME AND MEET ME.  I FIND YOUNG GUYS, LIKE IN THEIR TWENTIES, WHO SAY THEY "LOVE OLDER WOMEN." AND SO, I DECIDED A MONTH OR SO AGO, TO TRY AN EXPERIMENT.  I FORMED A NEW SCREEN NAME,  "PRISON WIFE "  JUST TO SEE WHO WOULD RESPOND. BY THE WAY, MY HUSBAND APPROVED .   I FOUND IT INTERESTING TO SEE IF PEOPLE WOULD RESPOND.  RESPOND?  WELL, I GOT RESPONSES FROM ACROSS THE COUNTRY, AND LOCALLY.  EVERYONE WANTED TO MEET ME!   I WAS HAVING 10 TO 20 "IM's"  AT A TIME.  I COULD NOT HANDLE THEM ALL.  MEN WROTE ME E-MAILS. A LOT WERE MARRIED, LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH.  AND THAT SIMPLY PROVES THAT A WIFE WITH A HUSBAND IN PRISON IS A "SURE BET FOR ANYONE, AND EVERYONE."  "SHE' IS A "SAFE PERSON."  NO COMMITTMENT.  A TEMPORARY FIXTURE. AND SO, I STILL NEVER FOUND ANYONE TO HAVE COFFE WITH.  AND SO, I STILL SIT HERE, ALONE, PATIENTLY WAITING FOR JIMMY.  IN MY LIFE, I FOUND ONE MAN ON THE COMPUTER. HE WAS ONE IN MAYBE A BILLION, OR MORE.  THAT MAN  WAS JIMMY, MY HUSBAND. HE WAS TO ME, THE ONLY MAN WORTH MEETING ON THIS CRAZY OLD COMPUTER.  AND SO, ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER NITE. COMPLETED.  GOOD NITE.

FLOWING THOUGHTS

I JUST TURNED THE COMPUTER ON TO SEE THAT ATTORNEY JOHNNIE COCHRAN DIED TODAY..HE DIED OF AN INOPERABLE BRAIN TUMOR..HERE WAS A BRILLIANT MAN, AND MY HEART GOES OUT TO HIM AND HIS FAMILY. YOU SEE, I WORKED AS A NURSE FOR 10 YEARS WITH PEOPLE WITH BRAIN TUMORS.  I WAS ON A "NEURO" FLOOR IN LAS VEGAS.  MOST OF OUR PATIENTS HAD BRAIN SURGERY.THAT IS, CRANIOTOMIES, TO REMOVE BRAIN TUMORS. SO I TOOK CARE OF THEM , SOMETIMES BEFORE THE SURGERY, TO ADMIT THEM TO THE HOSPITAL, AND THEN AFTER THEIR SURGERY, POST-OPERATIVELY. YES, I SAW A LOT. THE AVERAGE PERSON CAN NOT IMAGINE WHAT I SAW. HOW THESE PEOPLE WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT PEOPLE, AND THEN REDUCED TO ALMOST NOTHING..CONFUSED STATES OF MIND..SOME BECAME LIKE LITTLE CHILDREN AGAIN. I REMEMBER ONE YOUNG WOMAN WAS PREGNANT WHEN THEY FOUND A BRAIN TUMOR, AND IT WAS REMOVED, SHE BEAT THE ODDS, AND DELIVERED A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BABY WHO WAS HEALTHY. SHE "MADE THE NEWS, " IN LAS VEGAS, AS THIS WAS A "MIRACLE" CASE. LIFE IS VERY SHORT.ALTHOUGH WE HATE TO DWELL ON THAT.FOR ME, AS A NURSE, I HAVE ALWAYS SEEN THAT.THERE IS SUCH A VERY FINE LINE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH.PEOPLE COME INTO THE HOSPITAL, AND MANY NEVER MAKE IT OUT.LIKE THE FAMOUS SCIAVO CASE   (feeding tube).THERE ARE MANY, MANY CASES LIKE THIS, THAT NEVER MAKE THE NEWS.I'VE SEEN PEOPLE KEPT ALIVE IN VEGATATIVE STATES FOR MANY, MANY YEARS.AND IT WAS NEVER AN ISSUE. YES, THE THINGS WE SEE, AS NURSES, BEHIND THE HOSPITAL WALLS.THAT THE PUBLIC NEVER SEES, NOR KNOWS ABOUT. AND THAT BRINGS ME TO THE SUBJECT, THAT IF LIFE IS SO SHORT, WHY HAVE I , AMONGST OTHERS, BEEN PUT THROUGH THIS? "THIS," MEANING HAVING YOUR HUSBAND IN PRISON.LIFE IS SO SHORT, AND JIMMY HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM ME, TO BELONG TO THE STATE. IS IT FAIR?  NOT TO ME, PERSONALLY, BUT IT IS FAIR ACCORDING TO  THE LEGAL SYSTEM IN OUR COUNTRY. WE ARE NOW INTO THE "THIRD YEAR" OF JIMMY BEING IN PRISON.  (THE THIRD YEAR BEGAN A FEW DAYS AGO , ON MARCH 28).  AND SO. IT IS NOW MORE A DREAM, THAN IT EVER WAS.  I AM, LIKE THE NEWSPAPER REPORTER SAID, LIKE "RAPUNZEL," IN HER CASTLE, WAITING FOR HER PRINCE TO RETURN, AND RELEASE HER FROM HER PRISON.  IN MY LIVING ROOM , SITS RAPUNZEL, A BARBIE DOLL, IN A PLASTIC PINK CASTLE.  HER LONG HAIR FLOWING.  SHE HAS STOOD THERE SINCE JIMMY BROUGHT HER FOR ME, 3 YEARS AGO.  THE TROUBLE IS, I NOW HAVE SHORTER HAIR, AND WOULD HAVE TO WAIT TOO MANY YEARS FOR IT TO GROW LONG, SO JIMMY COULD CLIMB UP IT. AND SO, I WAIT.  AND THE WAIT BECOMES SLOWER NOW, FOR SOME REASON.  I WONDER JUST WHO I AM?  "THE WAITING WIFE.".  I DON'T KNOW.  JIMMY SAYS I'M CONSTRUCTIVE, BUT AM I?  TOMORROW I WILL MAIL A 15- PAGE  3500 WORD STORY I WROTE FOR A MAGAZINE, THESE PAST FEW DAYS.  SO YES. I GUESS I'M CONSTRUCTIVE, IN SOME WAYS.  BUT TO ME, I JUST GET THROUGH THE ACTIVITIES OF DAILY LIVING.  I SLEEP. I EAT. I BATHE. I TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE. I PAY THE BILLS. I TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS.  IT IS ALL SO MUNDANE, AND RITUALISTIC.  IT IS LIKE LIFE, WITHOUT LIFE.  CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? AND JIMMY CONTINUES TO CALL, BUT LESS NOW, AS HE IS BUSY WORKING.  HE CALLS ME BEFORE HE LEAVES KINTOCK.  BUT THE CALLS ARE SHORTER.  HE IS A BUSY MAN , WORKING AT AN IMPORTANT JOB.  I AM SO PROUD OF HIM.  HE HAS A VERY RESPONSIBLE JOB, HANDLING A LARGE FOODSTORE.  MAKING SURE THE SHELVES ARE STOCKED, THE PLACE IS CLEAN AND ORDERLY, AND THE EMPLOYEES ARE DOING A GOOD JOB.  YES, THAT IS MY JIMMY FOR YOU! AND SO, I PROGRESS THROUGH LIFE.  WATCHING ONCE AGAIN., THE SEASONS TURN, THE TIME PASSING. I WAIT FOR THE WARM WEATHER. FOR THE TREES, AND FLOWERS, FOR THE GRASS, FOR THE BIRDS.  TO ONCE AGAIN GO OUTSIDE AND SIT ON THE PARK BENCHES, AND TALK TO THE TREES.  TO BE A PART OF NATURE, AND ASK GOD "WHY?" AND AS USUAL, I INVITE YOU INTO THE CORNERS OF MY MIND.  TO TAKE A "WALKING TOUR," OF THE CORNERS OF MY MIND. TO FIND OUT WHAT A WOMAN "IS THINKING," AS HER HUSBAND IS IN THE PRISON SYSTEM.  I AM LIKE A MUSEUM.  YOU CAN STROLL WITHIN MY MIND, AND JUST SEE WHAT IS THERE.  IT MAY BE INTERESTING TO YOU, AND IT MAY NOT BE.  I AM A DREAMER. THEY SAY THAT IS A SIGN OF A CREATIVE PERSON.  I DREAM, AND DREAM, AND DREAM.  I AM PART OF NO ONE AND NOTHING. MY HUSBAND IS A VOICE ON THE PHONE.  HE CONTINUES TO TELL ME I AM MARRIED.  BUT IT MAKES ME WONDER, BECAUSE I AM HEREALONE. AND SO, I CREATE MY OWN DIMENSION OF TIME AND PLACE.  MY OWN BUBBLE IS CREATED AROUND ME.  AND I WILL LET NO ONE IN, UNLESS THEY HAVE THE RIGHT WORDS, AND I KNOW THEY DON'T.  ONLY JIMMY CAN PENETRATE THAT BUBBLE, AND HE IS NOT HERE NOW. AND SO, I WILL SAY, GOOD-NIGHT, AND HOPE TOMOROW IS SUNNY AND BRIGHT, AND I CAN GO OUTSIDE, AND BASK IN THE SUN.  AND AT LEAST, IF NOTHING ELSE, BE A PART OF NATURE. PLEASE VISIT MY OTHER JOURNAL. IT IS CALLED  "WIVES OF PRISONERS..AND OTHER LOVED ONES" http://journals.aol.com/crystalmoon222/wivesofprisonersandotherlovedones/

READ MY NEW JOURNAL!

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! HOW ARE YOU ON THIS FOGGY, RAINY, GLOOMY SPRING MORNING?! I WANTED TO INVITE YOU TO READ MY NEW JOURNAL THAT I JUST STARYED TODAY...IT IS CALLED  "WIVES OF PRISONERS.... AND OTHER LOVED ONES." THE NEW JOURNAL WILL REALLY BE MORE INFORMATIONAL. IT WILL ALSO BE MORE OF A 'SUPPORT-TYPE'  JOURNAL FOR THOSE THAT HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO TURN.  WIVES OF PRISONERS, AND OTHER LOVED ONES ARE ENCOURAGED TO WRITE COMMENTS AND E-MAILS IN THAT JOURNALTHEY NEED TO HAVE SOME SAY IN THINGS. THEY NEED CONTINUAL  SUPPORT. I HAVE HEARD A LOT, THROUGH THIS JOURNAL. SO MANY TEARS, AND STORIES OF SORROW. I CAN ONLY DO SOMETHING MORE TO CONTINUE TO HELP OTHERS THAT ARE IN MY SAME SHOES. IF I CAN HELP BUT ONE OTHER PERSON ON THIS EARTH, THEN I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED A MISSION IN LIFE. HAVE A VERY NICE DAY! FRAN http:/JOURNALS.AOL.COM/CRYSTALMOON222/WIVESOFPRISONERSANDOTHERLOVEDONES

KINTOCK IS A GREAT PLACE!

 

IF YOUR HUSBAND IS GOING TO A WORKING HALF-WAY HOUSE,  YOU SHOULD HOPE HE GOES TO KINTOCK! IT HAS BEEN JIMMY'S HOME FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS, AND HE IS HAPPY TO BE THERE. HE IS TREATED VERY NICE THERE. EVERYONE IS VERY GOOD TO HIM. HE HAS  FOUND A GREAT JOB,  WITH HELP FROM THE EMPLOYMENT COUNSELOR,  AND BEFORE THAT, HE WORKED IN THE KITCHEN, COOKING, AND HE ENJOYED THAT, TOO. NOW, HE IS WORKING AS THE MANAGER OF A FOOD-STORE, AND HE REALLY LIKES THAT.  HE TRAVELS 5 HOURS/DAY, TO AND FROM THE JOB, AND HE WORKS 8 HOURS/DAY...6 DAYS A WEEK....BUT HE LOVES IT! WHEN I WENT TO VISIT JIMMY LAST CHRISTMAS, I FOUND A VERY PLEASANT ATMOSPHERE AT KINTOCK. HE IS IN A NEW BUILDING, SO EVERYTHING WAS NEW AND SPARKLING CLEAN! IT HAD A CALM , PEACEFUL ATMOSPHERE. EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY SEEMED IN ORDER. THERE WAS AN AIR OF "FRESHNESS" ABOUT THE PLACE. SO I AM HAPPY THAT JIMMY IS THERE! HE WAS EVEN GIVEN A NEW BED TO SLEEP IN, SEVERAL WEEKS AGO. JIMMY WAS OFF FROM WORK YESTERDAY, EASTER, SO WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE ALL DAY!  HE MADE HIS FIRST CALL AT 11AM, AND THEN HE CALLED ME AROUND EVERY 2 HOURS, THEREAFTER. THE CALLS WERE LONG ONES. AT LEAST 30 MINUTES EACH! HIS LAST CALL CAME IN THE EVENING.  YOU MAY WONDER EXACTLY WHAT WE TALK ABOUT SO MUCH! WELL, YESTERDAY, HE ANALYZED ME, AMONG OTHER THINGS! HE IS VERY GOOD AT THAT! WHAT OTHER PEOPLE GO TO THERAPISTS FOR, AND PAY BIG BUCKS, MY HUSBAND DOES IT FOR FREE TO ME! WE STARTED WAY BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF MY CHILDHOOD. JUST HOW I WAS TREATED, AND WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME ALL THE TIME. WE PROGRESSED THROUGH MY LIFE, THROUGH EACH PHONE CALL.  UNTIL FINALLY AT 5PM, I WAS SO RELIEVED, BECAUSE JIMMY HIT IT ON THE HEAD.IT WASN'T ME AT ALL, BUT THE FAMILY ENVIRONMENT THAT I GREW UP IN. HOW I WAS IGNORED, AND NEVER ALLOWED TO FLOURISH. I WAS ALWAYS SUPPRESSED. AND IT'S TOO COMPLICATED TO EXPLAIN, BUT IT LEAD UP TO EXACTLY WHY I FEEL SO DEPRESSED AROUND THE HOLIDAYS. NO MATTER HOW I TRY, EVERY HOLIDAY SEEMS DEPRESSING, AND IT ALL CAN BE TRACED TO MY CHILDHOOD. TO THE NEUROTIC FAMILY I GREW UP IN. IS IT ANY WONDER AT THE AGE OF 20, I LEFT MY HOUSEHOLD, WENT TO NEW YORK, LIVED ON MY OWN. AND PROGRESSED THROUGH A CAREER, EDUCATING MYSELF THROUGH GRADUATE SCJHOOL, AND TREAVELING AROUND THE WORLD, MANY, MANY TIMES.  I WAS MY OWN SUPPORT SYSTEM. TRUTHFULLY, THE WORLD BECAME MY FAMILY. I FOUND COMFORT IN "THE WORLD." SEEING THE WORLD, EXPERIENCING LIFE, AND DIFFERENT CULTURES.  I TOOK PRIDE IN MY WORK, AND WORKED VERY HARD, AND LOTS OF OVERTIME. AND NOW, 30 YEARS LATER, IT IS STILL THE SAME. NO SUPPORT SYSTEM.(except my husband), AND WITH A HUSBAND IN PRISON, I OFTEN FEEL VERY DESERTED. I FEEL ABANDONED.  I ALWAYS HAVE FELT THAT WAY. AND SO, JIMMY IS MY MAIN BASE. HE IS THE ONE THROUGH 2 YEARS IN PRISON, THAT HAS NEVER DESERTED ME. I HAVE A FAMILY THAT TRAVELS ALL OVER THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY, BUT CAN'T DRIVE ME TO SEE MY HUSBAND, AT LEAST ON A HOLIDAY. IT IS A SHAME, BUT WE ALL HAVE "FREE -WILL."  WE ALL MAKE THE CHOICE OF WHAT WE WANT TO DO IN THIS LIFE. AND SO, BY 5 PM, I FELT MUCH BETTER, AND WAS ONCE AGAIN LAUGHING WITH JIMMY. HE EXPLAINED TO ME THAT I TEND TO ALWAYS PUT A WALL UP AROUND ME.  JIMMY IS THE ONLY ONE I WILL LET THAT WALL DOWN WITH.  HE SAID, I LET IT DOWN HERE IN THIS JOURNAL, AND YOU CAN ALL GET TO KNOW ME THAT WAY. IF YOU MET ME IN PERSON, I'D BE THAT QUITE PERSON OFF IN THE DISTANT CORNER. YOU'D PROBABLY THINK I BELONGED IN THE LIBRARY. WELL, LIKE I SAID, I HAVE MY FAMILY TO THANK FOR THAT. SUPPRESSION, IS WHAT IT IS CALLED. AND NOW THAT JIMMY BROUGHT ME BACK HERE AFTER 30 YEARS , TO NEW JERSEY, THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. I AM A PERSON WHO LIVED ON MY OWN FOR 30 YEARS. WHO EDUCATED MYSELF, AND ALWAYS STRIVED TO ACHIEVE. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM, THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT HALF OF MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN LIFE. THINGS LIKE I WAS ALWAYS CLIMBING THE CAREER LADDER, THAT I HAVE A 3.8 AVERAGE IN COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY GRADUATE SCHOOL,(TEACHER'S COLLEGE)  THAT I RECEIVED THE "AMBASSADOR OF COURTESY AWARD" IN LAS VEGAS. THAT I AM LISTED  IN SEVERAL 'WHO'S WHO BOOKS IN AMERICA," THAT I WAS A MEMBER OF KAPPA DELTA PI, INTERNATIONAL HONOR SOCIETY IN EDUCATION. THAT I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED IN THE DOCTORAL PROGRAM AT TEACHER'S COLLEGE. THAT I HAVE CERTIFICATION IN NURSING. THAT I WORKED AS AN RN THROUGHOUT OUR COUNTRY, IN THE BEST HOSPITALS. CALIFORNIA, NEW YORK CITY, LAS VEGAS. THAT I HAVE NURSING LICENSES IN 5 STATES (WASHINGTON, CALIFORNIA, NEVEDA, NEW JERSEY, AND NEW YORK). AND THE LIST OF MY ACHIEVEMENTS IN LIFE GOES ON AND ON. I JUST DON'T GET IT, BECAUSE THEY JUST DON'T CARE. HOW THEY SEE ME NOW, IS A WOMAN WITH A HUSBAND THAT IS A CRIMINAL. AND SO THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME. THEY ENJOY PUSHING ME AWAY INTO THE CORNER. A BLIND WOMAN. ALONE. THEY SEE ME AS A BURDEN TO THEM AND THE WORLD. AND YET I AM MORE PRODUCTIVE NOW, THAN EVER. A SIMPLE GETTING TOGETHER ON A HOLIDAY, SUCH AS EASTER, IS TOO MUCH FOR THEM. THEY ALL GET TOGETHER, GO OUT TO DINNER, ETC.  BUT REFUSE TO INCLUDE ME. AND THEN, THEY CALL ME TO SAY WHERE THEY HAVE BEEN AND WHAT THEY DID. DON'T YOU, WHO ARE READING THIS JOURNAL, THINK THAT IS A FORM OF MENTAL TORTURE? YES, ABUSE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PHYSICAL. IN BEING STRONG, I HAVE ALWAYS SURVIVED THEIR STRANGE WAYS. IT IS A VERY BIG SHAME. AND YET, NOW, THEY STILL TRY TO SUPPRESS ME..TO CONTROL ME IN A NEGATIVE WAY. WELL, THAT IS ME. MY FAMILY. WHAT ABOUT YOURS?  I BET YOU , TOO, HAVE SOME PROBLEMS, SOMEWHERE. IT IS A KNOWN FACT THAT EVERYONE HAS SOME KIND OF PROBLEMS IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM. FOR A PRIME EXAMPLE, LET US LOOK AT THE CROWDED PRISONS. PROBLEMS IN THE FAMILY NETWORK WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE, PLEASE CLICK ON THE COMMENTS, AND READ SOME OF THEM. THEY ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL, AND SOUL-SEARCHING. I ALSO RECEIVE MANY E-MAILS, OF OTHER WOMAN LIKE ME, WITH HUSBANDS IN PRISON, WHO SILENTLY SUFFER. I HAVE BEEN DOING RESEARCH ON THE HELP AVAILABLE IN OUR COUNTRY FOR THE "LOVED ONES OF PRISONERS."  ALL THAT I COULD FIND WAS THAT IN GREAT BRITAIN , THERE IS A VERY LARGE NETWORK, TO HELP THE LOVED ONES OF PRISONERS. I AM LOOKING IN TO IT, AND WILL BE WRITING TO GREAT BRITAIN TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT IT. THIS IS MAINLY WHAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT. THE LOVED ONES OF PRISONERS SHOULD HAVE SOME RIGHTS, TOO. THEY SHOULD NOT BE TOSSED ASIDE. NOT NEGLECTED. I WILL BE DOING FURTHER WORK ON THIS, AND PLEASE NEED YOUR SUPPORT. WELL IT'S ANOTHER DAY! TODAY IS MARCH 28. THIS IS THE DAY, 2 YEARS AGO, THAT JIMMY WALKED OUT OUR FRONT DOOR, TO THE COURT, AND THEN TO JAIL. IT WAS A BRIGHT, WARM, SUNNY, FRIDAY. VERY BEAUTIFUL AND SPRING-LIKE.  JIMMY WANTED TO GO ALONE. HE COULD NOT BEAR ME TO BE IN COURT. TO SEE HIM HAND-CUFFED BEFORE ME, AND TAKEN AWAY BEFORE MY EYES. AND I DON'T THINK I COULD HAVE GONE THROUGH IT, MYSELF. AND SO, JIMMY'S FATHER AND FRIEND, CAME AND PICKED HIM UP, HERE AT HOME, AND THEY LEFT HIM IN FRONT OF THE COURTHOUSE. YES, MY JIMMY HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALL ALONE. I BEGGED HIS FATHER TO GO TO COURT WITH HISSON, BUT HE OUTWARDLY REFUSED ME. IT BREAKS MY HEART THAT JIMMY WAS IN THAT COURTROOM ALONE. THE NIGHT BEFORE, WE HARDLY SLEPT. WE WERE AWAKE, JIMMY TAKING CARE OF ALL LAST MINUTE BUSINESS, FOR THE HOUSEHOLD.  HE SAT ME DOWN, AND DICTATED, AS I WROTE INTO NOTEBOOKS, ALL THE IMPORTANT THINGS I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT THE HOUSEHOLD. PHONE NUMBERS, ETC.AND THEN, WE LAID DOWN AROUND 4 AM. HE HELD ME SO TIGHT, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING RIGHT THROUGH THE BONES IN HIS CHEST. IT WAS LIKE A "DEATH GRIP" ON ME. WE SOMEHOW FELL ASLEEP FOR A LITTLE WHILE, WITH HIM STILL HOLDING ME SO TIGHTLY. MY FACE AND BODY WAS "CRUSHED" INTO HIM.  I WISHED I COULD HAVE GONE INTO HIM. BECOME PART OF HIS BODY CELLS. AND THE MORNING CAME ALL TOO SOON. IN THE DAYS AND HOURS BEEFORE HIS INCARCERATION, IT WAS LIKE A BIG UGLY THING HANGING OVER OUR HEADS. THE NIGHT BEFORE, I SAID, 'JIMMY PEOPLE GO TO THOSE PLACES AND DON'T COME OUT." HE COMFORTED ME. "YOU BECOME PART OF THESYSTEM," I SAID,   "AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET YOU OUT!" YOU SEE, I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THE PRISON SYSTEM. AND SO, OUR LAST EMBRACE WAS AT THE FRONT DOOR. I LEANED FORWARD INTO HIS CHEST AND SAID,  "THIS IS ALL SO ESOTERIC. I FEEL LIKE I AM OUT OF MY BODY RIGHT NOW. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING." WE KISSED. HE LEFT. AFTER THAT, I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT HAPPENED. I CAN'T REMEMBER. ALL I KNOW IS I SAT, AND SAT.IN A QUITE HOUSE. NO TV, NO RADIO. I FED THE ANIMALS.  I WAITED FOR CALLS. I STOPPED EATING. AND DRINKING FLIUDS. I LOOKED AT A HALF EMPTY DIET COKE, ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE, AND REALIZED IT HAD BEEN SITTING THERE FOR DAYS, AND THAT I WOULD HAVE TO START DRINKING.AND THE NEXT DAY, A BIG STORM, LIKE A TORNADO, RUSHED THROUGH THE HOUSE. THE WIND HAD NEVER BLOWN SO STRONGLY THROUGH OUR HOUSE. IT WAS LIKE A DEMON. SHINGLES ON THE ROOF FLEW OFF. WIND CHIMES THAT JIMMY HAD PUT ON THE PATIO TORE OFF. I WAS FRIGHTENED AND SCARED. AND I COULD NOT THINK, EVEN AN HOUR, NO LESS A DAY IN ADVANCE. I SAT AND LOOKED AT THE 4 WALLS. I STOPPED THINKING. I STOPPED SLEEPING. I JUST SAT AND STARRED. I WAS NUMB ALL OVER. AND SO, I'M SO HAPPY IT IS NOW MARCH 28, 2005, AND NOT MARCH 28, 2003. I WOULD NOT, AND COULD NOT GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN.BYE, EVERYBODY. I'M THINKING OF YOU ALL!FRAN

.

THE PRISON WIFE AND HOLIDAYS

HOLIDAYS ARE ESPECIALLY HARD TIMES FOR THE "PRISON WIFE," AND LOVED ONES OF PRISONERS.  AS FOR MYSELF, THIS IS THE THIRD EASTER THAT JIMMY IS "AWAY."....AND BELIEVE ME, IT ONLY GETS WORSE FOR ME, NOT BETTER.

ONCE A PERSON WHO LIKED TO CELEBRATE HOLIDAYS, NOW IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.

NOW BEFORE YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, LET ME EXPLAIN.  THE "CELEBRATION' OF A HOLIDAY MEANS GAITY, FOOD, FUN, AND LAUGHTER, WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY GETTING TOGETHER.............AND SO, MY HUSBAND, WHO IS MY "FAMILY," IS AWAY....AND NO OTHER FAMILY MEMBER FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS HAS EVER EVEN ASKED ME WHAT I AM DOING FOR EASTER.....................NOT HIS FATHER, NOR ANYONE ELSE..........IF I KNEW A WOMAN WAS ALONE, WITH A HUSBAND IN PRISON, AND JIMMY AND I WERE COOKING HOLIDAY FOOD, ETC., IT WOULD BE IN OUR HEART AND SOUL TO INVITE THAT PERSON TO OUR HOUSE TO BE TOGETHER.  JIMMYMAND I DID THAT ON MANY HOLIDAYS..............WE COOKED SO MUCH FOOD, AND INVITED PEOPLE IN TO OUR HOUSE WHO HAD NO ONE...........AND ON HOLIDAYS LIKE THANKSGIVING, HE WOULD BRING TURKEY AND TRIMMINGS THAT HE HAD COOKED TO ALL THAT WE KNEW.

WHEN JIMMY WAS HOME, I LOVED TO BAKE, ....AND WE DID IT TOGETHER...........TREMNDOUS AMOUNTS OF COOKIES, CAKES, MUFFINS.  DURING EASTER SEASON, WE WOULD BAKE SPECIAL EASTER BREADS, AND SWEETS...........WE WOULD BRING THEM TO EVERYONE........WE EVEN SENT JIMMY'S FATHER A SPECIAL ITALIAN EASTER PASTRY WE HAD MADE WHILE IN LAS VEGAS.................WHILE HERE IN NEW JERSEY, WE WOULD BAKE ALL DAY.  THE FIRST PERSON WE WOULD CALL WAS HIS FATHER, WHO WOULD RUN TO OUR HOUSE AND WE WOULD GIVE HIM ALMOST EVERYTHING WE BAKED.......OUR DINING ROOM TABLE WOULD BE FULL OF THE BAKED GOODS WE BAKED............AND NOW, JIMMY'S FATHER HAS TREATED ME LIKE A PIECE OF S--- SINCE THE FIRST DAY OF HIS INCARCERATION.  OH YES!  JIMMY'S FATHER WAITED FOR HIM TO BE LOCKED UP, TO TURN AGAINST ME, AND TELL ME HOW HE HATED HIS SON, HIS WHOLE LIFE...........WELL, IT ALL GOT SO BAD, 7 MONTHS AGO, I LOOKED AT HIM IN THE EYES AND SAID, "WELL, YOU ARE THE "FATHER" OF A "CRIMINAL!"........."YOU ARE THE ONE WHO 'MADE" HIM......I AM HIS WIFE AND CHOSE TO MARRY HIM. I LOVE JIMMY...AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR, FROM YOU, MY FATHER-IN-LAW, HOW TERRIBLE JIMMY IS....BECAUSE HE IS TERRIBLE FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU HATE HIM.......BUT YOU SEE, I LOVE HIM, AND JIMMY IS A WONDERFUL MAN.".................WELL, I GOT TIRED OF HIS VERBAL ABUSE TO HIS SON, WHEN JIMMY IS IN A PLACE WHERE HE CANNOT DEFEND HIMSELF....AND SO HIS FATHER USED ME NOW, TO CONTINUE TO ABUSE HIS SON............AND SO, NEED I SAY, MR. FATHER-IN-LAW HASN'T SPOKEN TO ME SINCE..........AND IT IS FINE WITH ME, BECAUSE I'M MARRIED TO JIMMY, AND NOT TO HIM.....(THANK GOD)

SORRY I GOT OFF THE SUBJECT......

EASTER 2003 WAS A TOUCHING TIME.  EASTER THAT YEAR FELL IN APRIL, BUT WE KNEW JIMMY WAS TURNING HIMSELF IN MARCH 28, 2003.

AND SO, THE WEEK BEFOR E HE LEFT, WE BOUGHT EASTER CHOCOLATE BUNNYS, JELLY BEANS, ..STUFFED BUNNIES........I MADE A BEAUTIFUL EASTER BASKET FOR MY JIMMY....YES, JIMMY IS MY LITTLE BOY, TOO.........IT WAS FILLED WITH GREEN AND YELLOW AND PURPLE GRASS.............AND CHOCOLATE EGGS.........AND SO MANY PRETTY THINGS!.....................JIMMY BOUGHT ME A LIFE-SIZED STUFFED BUNNY, WHICH WHEN HE LEFT I PLACED ON HIS SIDE OF THE BED, AND IT IS STILL THERE.  JIMMY BOUGHT ME PINK BUNNY EARS, THAT I WORE FOR HIM  :)

AND WE TOOK SO MANY PIX.........WE WERE SO HAPPY, BUT IT WAS LIKE A KNIFE STICKING INTO MY STOMACH, BECAUSE I KNEW IN A FEW DAYS HE WOULD BE GONE, AND THE HOUSE WOULD BE EMPTY, AND I'D BE ALONE........WITH A FUTURE UNCERTAIN.........YES, THE FUTURE LOOMED BEFORE ME, IN AN ALSMOST UNBEARABLE WAY............I NEVER, EVER, WANT TO GO BACK TO  THAT TIME IN MY LIFE.......AND TRUTHFULLY AFTER GOING THROUGH THIS, I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE DEAD THEN TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN.........THE FIRST MONTHS, AND YEARS WERE THE WORST FOR ME........IT ONLY STARTED GETTING A LITTLE BETTER FOR ME LATELY, WHEN I CAN SEE SOME SORT OF LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL....................

AND SO, ANOTHER EASTER.........LIKE I SAID, IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS ENTRY, HOLIDAYS ARE TIMES OF CELEBRATIONS WITH FAMILY............THAT IS, "IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY!"...............SO FOR ME, I SPEND IT IN PEACE, HERE AT HOME WITH THE ANIMALS, DOING MY NORMAL ACTIVITIES OF DAILY LIVING....THE SAME THINGS I DO EACH DAY, TO KEEP OUR HOUSEHOLD TOGETHER..............AND YES, TALKING TO GOD...........THERE ARE 3 I TALK TO 24 HOURS /DAY, ANYHOW............I TALK TO MYSELF, TO JIMMY, AND TO GOD.......ALL DAY, AND EVERYDAY...........

'CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD"..........HAVE YOU READ THAT BOOK?  I DID A FEW YEARS AGO....IT'S A GREAT BOOK..............LATELY, I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR GOD....I ALWAYS ASK HIM  CERTAIN THINGS, THAT I CAN'T QUITE UNDERSTAND...........I GOT SOME ANSWERS THIS MORNING.

I ORDERED A BOOK ON AMAZON.COM, AND IT ARRIVED THIS MORNING.  IT'S CALLED , "THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE,"   BY RICK WARREN,  AND AS YOU ALL MAY KNOW HAS BECOME VERY POPULAR RECENTLY....IT IS THE BOOK THAT THE WOMAN READ TO THE CRIMINAL WHO SHOT THE JUDGE AND 3 OTHERS, WHILE HE WAS IN COURT............I FINALLY GOT THE BOOK.............IT'S BELIEF'S ARE THOSE WHICH I ALREADY HAVE, AND SO DOES MY HUSBAND.........IT'S WORDED AND PRESENTED VERY NICELY.........AND IT ANSWERS SOME QUESTIONS.......WE MAY ALL HAVE.

BEING A FAST READER, I ALREADY READ MOST OF THE BOOK...........(DON'T ASK ME HOW I DO IT, AS I'M BLIND....I EVEN HAVE THE DOCTORS PUZZLED!)

BASICALLY, WHY IS THERE EVIL IN THE WORLD?  WHY DOES GOD ALLOW CRIME, MURDERS, ETC.?

ANSWER:.....GOD DOES NOT WANT EVIL IN THE WORLD.  GOD CREATED MAN WITH A FREE-WILL......MAN CAN CHOOSE FOR HIMSELF TO DO EITHER GOOD OR BAD........WE ALL HAVE A "CHOICE'..........GOD WOULD LOVE THE WORLD TO BE A PEACEFUL, CRIME-FREE PLACE.........BUT MAN, THROUGH HIS CHOICE OF EVIL, HAS MADE OUR WORLD THE WAY IT IS.

LET US TRY TO MAKE THIS WORLD A MORE PEACEFUL, LOVING WORLD, AS GOD WATS IT TO BE.  IT MAY BE A BIG TASK TO DO, BUT IT STARTS WITH JUST ONE PERSON......IF EACH PERSON WOULD START IT WITH THEMSELVES, IT COULD SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE TO OTHERS.

SO, PLEASE WRITE TO ME, AND LET ME KNOW HOW YOU, AS A PRISON WIFE/LOVED ONE ARE DEALING WITH ,YES, ANOTHER EASTER.................PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL...WHAT IS IN YOUR HEARTS............

I FEEL BLESSED THROUGH JIMMY'S INCARCERATION TO HAVE BECOME EXPOSED TO THE PRISON SYSTEM IN OUR COUNTRY, AND TO HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THE LOVED ONES/ WIVES THAT ARE AT HOME, SUFFERING, DEVOTED.......WITH ACHING HEARTS..........AS THOSE THEY LOVE ARE IN AN INSTITUTION...........

PLEASE LET ME KNOW...........

HAPPY EASTER........HAPPY SPRING!...................FRAN

 

THE STORY CONTIMUES.....

ON TUESDAY NIGHT, JIMMY CALLED ME BEFORE BOARDING THE BUS BACK TO KINTOCK....IT WAS 11:30pm......HE SAID, "HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU WATCH A MOVIE ON HBO, SINCE YOU'RE NOT SLEEPY.

SO, THAT IS JUST WHAT I DID.....I PUT THE TV ON, AND WENT TO "ON-DEMAND, "  AND , LO AND BEHOLD, STARRING AT ME ON THE SCREEN WAS AN HBO SPECIAL TITLED, YES. OF ALL THINGS, "ATLANTIC CITY PROSTITUTES!"..........YES, LIKE I SAID, STRANGE THINGS DO HAPPEN!

SO I SAT THERE WATCHING THE SHOW...........I DIDN'T LEARN ANYTHING I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW.........MY OPINION IS, THAT IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A PROSTITUTE, THE BEST PLACE IS NEVADA....WHERE EVERYTHING IS CONTROLLED, AND TESTED........AND WOMEN IN THE SOUTHWEST DESERT ARE BLONDE AND BEAUTIFUL!

AFTERWARDS, I WATCHED A MOVIE THAT I REALLY LIKED, AND CAN'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD........."THE GIRL WITH THE PEARL EARRING"  (2003) .  IT STILL HAUNTS ME.....AND I WILL WATCH IT AGAIN, TODAY.........IT TAKES PLACE IN 16TH CENTURY , AND IS ABOUT THE FLEMISH ARTIST, VERMEER.  THE STORY IS BASICALLY ABOUT A 17 YEAR OLD SERVANT GIRL, WHO WORKS IN HIS HOUSE CLEANING HIS STUDIO, AND THEY FALL IN LOVE.  HE PAINTS HER PICTURES, AND SHE SPENDS TIME IN HIS STUDIO, LOOKING AT AND HELPING HIM TO MIX THE BEAUTIFUL DIFFERENT COLOR PAINTS.  THEY ARE NEVER SEEN KISSING...AND NEVER MAKE LOVE........HIS WIFE IS PREGNANT, AND JEALOUS OF THIS YOUNG GIRL.  AT THE END, AS PART OF A DEAL WITH A RICH MAN WHO WILL BUY HIS PAINTING, TO HANG IN HIS BEDROOM, HE PAINTS HER PORTRAIT, ...WHILE SHE WEARS HIS WIFE'S PEARL EARRING........VERMEER PENETRATES HER EARLOBE, AS SHE DOES NOT HAVE PIERCED EARS........AFTER THE PAINTING IS DONE, SHE RUNS TO HER BOYFRIEND , AND HE TAKES HER VIRGINITY..........WHEN VERMEER'S WIFE SEE THE PAINTING, SHE SHOUTS OUT "IT'S OBSCENE!".........I FEEL WHAT SHE SEES IN THE YOUNG GIRL, IS A LUST AND INNOCENCE...A YEARNING FOR THIS MAN.......SOMETHING AND SOMEONE, OUT OF HER SOCIAL STATUS...SOMEONE MARRIED....SOMEONE SHE CAN NEVER HAVE.........HER EYES AND EXPRESSION ON HER FACE ARE HAUNTING..................

IT IS REALLY A MOVIE TO SEE....I LIKE MOVIES THAT ARE SENSUAL, AND YET HAVE SOMETHING TO LEARN FROM THEM...SOMETHING HISTORICAL, OR LIKE THIS ONE, ABOUT AN ARTIST...........IT INSPIRED ME TO GO TO THE WEB-SITES ON VERMMER, AND READ UP ON HIM.........THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY BASED ON FICTION...THAT IS, HE PAINTED THE PAINTING, BUT THE STORY HAS BEEN FABRICATED..............HE HAS 30 SOMETHING PAINTINGS, WHICh ARE CALLED "VERMEER'S WOMEN."  ........................I FIND IT ALL VERY FASCINATING.......HOW LIFE WAS BACK IN THE 16TH CENTURY........HOW DID THESE PAINTINGS SURVIVE?...............WELL, THIS MOVIE GAVE ME "FOOD FOR THOUGHT, " AND I LIKE THAT.

...........AS FOR JIMMY, HE WAS OFF FROM WORK YESTERDAY, AND WE SPOKE ALL DAY ON THE PHONE........!  WE ARE HAPPY, AND HE ENJOYS HIS JOB SO MUCH!...................GODWILLING, WE WILL BE SEEING EACH OTHER VERY SOON, AND JUST CAN'T WAIT!

  IT'S FUNNY BUT PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME THINGS LIKE, "HASEN'T JIMMY STARTED HIS WEEK-ENDS HOME YET ?"......ETC., ETC., ETC.............THEY ALWAYS HAVE THIS ATTITUDE LIKE  "WHY DON'T I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT"........INSTAED OF BEING COMFORTED, I AM THE ONE TO COMFORT THEM.......AND YET, I AM THE ONE ALONE, AND MISSING JIMMY..........DON'T THEY THINK I WOULD DO SOMETHING, IF I COULD..........DO THEY REALLY REALIZE THE HOURS AND MONTHS OF TORTURE I HAVE GONE THROUGH, ALONE, AND MISSING JIMMY........DO THEY ALL REALLY UNDERSTAND?.........I DOUBT IT.

  PEOPLE ARE IMPATIENT, SO I TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT THE "PRISON PROCESS' IS A VERY SLOW ONE..........AND WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT.............WHEN IT ALL HAPPENS , IT HAPPENS.............WELL. I GUESS I HAVE LEARNED TO BE A MORE PATIENT PERSON, THROUGH THIS WHOLE ORDEAL............ONE THING YOU CAN NOT DO, IS PLAN YOUR LIFE AHEAD, WHILE YOUR HUSBAND IS IN PRISON....................ALL I SIMPLY KNOW, THAT THIS EASTER SUNDAY WILL BE THE 3RD EASTER WITHOUT JIMMY HOME............AND MARCH 28, WILL BEGIN THE 3RD YEAR HE IS IN PRISON................WELL, LIFE GOES ON, IN AN UNUSUAL WAY..............AND FOR ME, AND US, WELL "TIME" HAS ACTUALLY COMPRESSED.........THAT IS, I FEEL THAT JIMMY WALKED OUT THE FRONT DOOR YESTERDAY....IT NO LONGER FEELS SO LONG............EACH DAY , EACH MINUTE AND HOUR SEEMS LONG, AND THEN IT STARTS "COMPRESSING" IN YOUR MIND...........YOUR MIND ALMOST BEGINS TO PLAY TRICKS ON YOU.............JIMMY SAYS IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH "EINSTEIN'S THEORIES  OF TIME AND SPACE..........HE ALWAYS EXPLAINS IT TO ME........HOWEVER, MY OWN TTHOUGHTS ARE THAT TIME IS NOT LINEAR, AND TIME IS MAN-MADE..........IN "GOD'S WORLD", THERE IS NO TIME...THE CONCEPT OF TIME DOES NOT EXIST...IT IS REALLY AN ILLUSION............TIME IS NOT LINEAR, BUT BEGINS TO 'BEND,"......JUST LIKE RADIO WAVES THAT BEND............IT IS ALL VERY FACINATING, AND EVEN MORE SO TO ACTUALLY GO THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE "OF TIME."

WELL, IT'S SNOWING..........SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?..........AROUND 6 YEARS AGO I DROVE THROUGH A FREAK BLIZZARD..........IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SPRING DAY.......THE END OF MAY, AS I STARTED OUT IN LAS VEGAS...............BY THE TIME I WAS DRIVING IN THE MOUNTAINS, GOING TO THE GRAND CANYON, IN ARIZONA, IT WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST BLIZZRDS I HAVE EVER BEEN IN...................AND YES, IT WAS THE END OF MAY!................SO, HERE IN NEW JERSEY, WELL, WE REALLY DON'T HAVE IT THAT BAD!................AND ANYHOW, TALKING ABOUT THE SNOW, GETS BORING...........AFTER ALL, THE SNOW IS JUST A NATURAL ACT POF NATURE........AND THE POOR SNOW IS DOING JUSY WHAT IT'S SUPPOSSED TO DO....AND THAT IS , FALL FROM THE SKY!................BYE, AND HAVE A VERY NICE DAY!.........................FRAN

"SIN CITY 2"

"LAS VEGAS IS CALLED 'SIN CITY, " AND I'VE NOW TITLED ATLANTIC CITY AS "SIN CITY 2 !" YEP, and THAT IS WHAT IT IS. A CITY OF GAMBLING, SEX, ALCOHOL, CRIMES, CRIMINALS, PROSTITUTION, DRUGS. YOU NAME IT , THEY HAVE IT! ( BY THE WAY, PROSTITUTION IS LEGAL IN NEVADA (BUT NOT ON THE LAS VEGAS STRIP, AND NOT IN CLARK COUNTY, WHERE WE WERE LIVING). AND SO, A LITTLE WHILE AGO, AT 11:15 PM,  JIMMY JUST CALLED ME FROM, YES, THE STREETS OF ATLANTIC CITY.THERE HE WAS, STANDING ON THE STREET  CORNER, WAITING FOR HIS BUS BACK TO KINTOCK. AND THEN!  LO AND BEHOLD. WHAT PULLS UP IN FRONT OF HIM. THE BUS BACK TO HIS HOME, THE TOWN WHERE WE LIVE. LOL. HE SAID, "FRAN, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE, THE BUS BACK HOME TO YOU JUST PULLED UP!" IT WAS ALMOST INCREDIBLE. BUT FOR US , IT REALLY WASN'T, BECAUSE WE ARE USE TO SO MANY STRANGE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENING AROUND US!  AND THEN, HIS BUS PULLED UP, TO KINTOCK, AND HE BOARDED THAT BUS. OF COURSE!  JIMMY AND I LOOK AT THINGS VERY HUMOURESLY IN LIFE.  WHEN I FIRST MET HIM, I SAID, "JIMMY, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN A COMEDIAN."  AND THE FUNNY THING IS, PEOPLE TELL ME I'M "FUNNY." WELL, I DON'T TRY, AND JIMMY DOESN'T EITHER. IT JUST COMES NATURAL FOR US!  AND YOU CAN IMAGINE THE 2 OF US TOGETHER!  EVEN I HAVE TO SAY, SOME OF OUR DIALOGUE IS FUNNY..........HE CALLS ME "GRACIE,' FROM GRACIE ALLEN...AND HE IS LIKE GEORGE BURNS........HE ALWAYS PICKS ON THE FUNNY AND STUPID THINGS I SAY.......WELL. I CAN'T HELP IT...I'M JUST THE WAY I AM!

AND SO, RIGHT NOW I HAVE HIM LAUGHING BECAUSE OF THIS..................................HERE IS MY POOR HUSBAND, WHO HAS SPENT THE PAST 2 YEARS LOCKED UP IN PRISON.........NOT A WOMAN AROUND HIM...AND IF THERE ARE ANY, THEY ARE OLD AND UGLY ANYHOW, I SUPPOSE.  AND NOW, HERE, HE HAS BEEN LET OUT ONTO THE STREETS OF ATLANTIC CITY............SIN CITY 2...........I MUST SAY, IT IS A LITTLE FUNNY, IF YOU THINK OF IT.........HERE ARE ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WALKING AROUND...IN FRONT OF MY HUSBAND..........AND ALL HE CAN DO IS LOOK!...........MY POOR HUSBAND..........THANK GOODNESS HE HAS A VERY STRONG WILL AND CHARACTER.....LOL....HE IS NEVER TEMPTED................TO ME, THE WHOLE SITUATION IS VERY HUMOROUS...........I SIT HERE ALL DAY, LAUGHING TO MYSELF!...................WHY?.................BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS A LOVING WIFE TO COME HOME TO.......A NICE BIG KING SIZE BED, WITH LOTS OF PILLOWS AND COMFORTERS ON IT.............HE LIVES IN A VERY QUITE , CONSERVATIVE COMMUNITY........AN ADULT, GATED COMMUNITY..............THE BIGGEST ACTIVITY HERE ARE THE SQUIRRELS RUNNING BY......IT IS SO QUITE , YOU CAN ACTUALLY HEAR THE LEAVES FALL FROM THE TREES IN THE AUTUMN....................AND THERE IS JIMMY, LET OUT TO WORK........ON THE BUSY STREETS OF A.C..........WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF PROSTITUTES WALKING BY HIM!............LOL  :)

...........I TOLD YOU.......I JUST KEEP LAUGHING........BUT STILL IN ALL, WE ARE VERY HAPPY, ABOUT HIS JOB...............THAT IS ONE THING ABOUT US...WE ARE ALWAYS LAUGHING, AND MAKE JOKES TO ONE ANOTHER........IF OTHERS WOULD ONLY LISTEN........WE'D PUT LAUGHTER AND SUNSHINE IN THEIR DAY, TOO!

....................................FRAN,  A HALF-WAY HOUSE WIFE  :)

 

atlantic city

JIMMY HAS STARTED HIS NEW JOB, AND HE IS VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT.....HE IS NO LONGER AT THE TURKEY FACTORY....HIS NEW JOB IS A MANAGER AT A FOOD-STORE IN ATLANTIC CITY.  THIS IS SOMETHING HE REALLY ENJOYS DOING, KNOWS ABOUT IT FROM PAST EXPERIENCE, AND DOES A GOOD JOB AT IT.....

I AM SO HAPPY THINGS ARE MOVING ALONG........

IT TAKES HIM 2 1/2 HOURS TO GET TO HIS JOB, BY BUS....AND 2 1/2 HOURS TO GET BACK..........THEREFORE, HE HAS 5 HOURS OF TRAVEL TIME PER DAY........8 HOURS/DAY OF WORK TIME............THAT LEAVES HIM 11 HOURS /DAY AT KINTOCK TO SLEEP, EAT, WASH HIS CLOTHES, AND DO WHATEVER ELSE HE HAS TO DO..........HE WILL WORK AN EXTRA DAY EVERY OTHER WEEK.......THAT IS 6 DAYS A WEEK.............

YES, MY HUSBAND IS CERTAINLY A HARD WORKING MAN........AND, HE ENJOYS DOING IT FOR "US."

....waiting....

I SIT HERE WAITING...AS USUAL.........AND I JUST HATE WAITING........I LIKE TO GET THINGS DONE........TO PROGRESS AHEAD.......AND JIMMY IS THE SAME WAY..........HE IS EVEN WORSE THAN I AM...........WE BOTH SPENT OUR WHOLE LIVES MOVING AHEAD...GETTING THINGS DONE.......ONLY TO HAVE A STANDSTILL IN OUR LIFE FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS........BUT, EVEN NOW, THINGS ARE MOVING AHEAD.....

  JIMMY CALLED ME A LITTLE WHILE AGO......THINGS ARE MOVING AHEAD, NOW THAT HE IS WORKING.........THINGS ARE STARTING TO PROGRESS......CHANGES FOR THE GOOD, ARE STARTING TO TAKE PLACE.............THINGS LIKE "9-HOUR PACK-PASSES,' AND " WEEK-END FURLOUGHS HOME,"  ARE NOW IN OUR FUTURE........

  JIMMY IS LIKE A BOAT.......HE IS ALWAYS MOVING FULL-SPEED AHEAD..........AND I , IN MARRYING HIM, AM PART OF HIM....AND I ENJOY IT........HOWEVER, I AM LIKE AN ANCHOR......I AM HIS STABILITY.....HIS STRENGTH...........I AM HIS WIFE........I AM ALWAYS THERE.........AND I ALWAYS LISTEN TO MY HUSBAND............JIMMY AND I HAVE NEVER STOPPED TALKING, FOR 4 YEARS, SINCE THE FIRST DAY WE MET...........WE LOVE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER....

.......YES, IN A RELATIONSHIP, COMMUNICATION IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT..............JIMMY HAS TOLD ME EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS LIFE, FROM THE BEGINNING...AS FAR BACK AS HE CAN REMEMBER.  AND I , TOO, HAVE TOLD HIM EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, SINCE MY FIRST MEMORY.

...AND WE TALK, AND TALK.........AND JUST NEVER GET TIRED OF IT!........AND THEN, WE MAKE LOVE, AND MAKE LOVE , AND MAKE LOVE.......ALL DAY, AND ALL NIGHT....ROUND THE CLOCK.......AND NEVER GET TIRED OF IT!............IT'S OK, WE'RE MARRIED!   :)                MY HUSBAND IS THE MOST SENSUAL MAN ON THIS PLANET, AND I'M SURE OTHER PLANETS AND UNIVERSES, TOO!

  AND SO, HERE IT IS, ANOTHER NIGHT.....I AM HAPPY BECAUSE THINGS ARE MOVING AHEAD.........TIME IS MOVING ON............IT'S FUNNY, MOST PEOPLE WANT TIME TO STANDSTILL...THEY DON'T WANT "NEXT YEAR" TO GET HERE JUST YET.........THEY DON'T WANT TO GET OLDER..........................BUT, WHEN YOUR HUSBAND IS IN PRISON, YOU WANT THE TIME TO MOVE ALONG..............YOU SIT AND STARE AT THE CALENDER, AND BEG THE DAYS AWAY........FOR ME, I SIT AND DAYDREAM ALOT........BUT I AM A DREAMER, ANYHOW........I SIT AND MEDITATE, AND CONTEMPLATE THINGS......I LOOK DEEPLY WITHIN THINGS, AND PEOPLE.................I AM NOT ONLY A DREAMER, BUT I AM AN ANALYZER, TOO..................I AM VERY PERCEPTIVE OF PEOPLE................I LOOK VERY DEEP WITHIN THEIR HEARTS AND SOULS     AND MY HUSBAND DOES THE SAME...........HE SAYS HE IS "iNTUITIVE.".........HE CALLS ME "PSYCHIC.".......................

  AND NOW, AS IT HAPPENS SO MANY TIMES, THE PERFECT SONG IS PLAYING ON THE RADIO....BY THE RIGHTOUS BROTHERS......................

"UNCHAINED MELODY"................

  "LONELY RIVERS FLOW TO THE SEA...TO THE OPEN ARMS OF THE SEA....LONELY RIVERS SIGH WAIT FOR ME........WAIT FOR ME........I'LL BE COMING HOME WAIT FOR ME....OH MY LOVE, MY DARLING, I HUNGER, HUNGER FOR YOUR TOUCH....A LONG, LONELY TIME.....AND TIME GOES BY SO SLOWLY....AND TIME CAN DO SO MUCH......ARE YOU STILL MINE......................I NEED YOUR LOVE......I NEED YOUR LOVE.......GOD SPEED YOUR LOVE TO ME............(END OF SONG...I TYPED IT WHILE IT PLAYED, AT THE MOST APPROPRIATE TIME)

  GOOD-NITE.....I WILL NOW GO TO BED, AND LAY IN JIMMY'S ARMS AS I HAVE FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS.........I WISH ALL YOU PRISON WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS, CAN MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND AS WE HAVE...............JUST REMEMBER THAT NO ONE, YES NO ONE , CAN COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND'S LOVE............AND IF YOU MAINTAIN . AND LEARN TO USE YOUR MIND, NOT EVEN PRISON WALLS CAN SEPERATE THE 2 OF YOU.........NOT DISTANCE, NOT MILES, NOT MINUTES OR DAYS OR YEARS.........YOU ARE IN CONTROL, WHEN YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR MIND.............AND THE LOVE FOR YOUR HUSBAND WILL ALWAYS WIN............TRY IT, AND SEE...........AND DESPITE ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN OUR WORLD...AND IN OUR LIVES, WE WILL ENDURE, AND NOT BE OVERCOME BY TERRIBLE THINGS AND SITUATIONS............YOU WILL FIND THE STRENGTH AND POWER, THROUGH YOUR LOVE AND DEVOTION TO YOUR MAN..............................I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE STOOD BY ME, SINCE I HAVE BEEN WRITING THIS JOURNAL.........IT MUST GET BORING TO READ THE SAME THING EVERYDAY.............BUT NOW, BY READING MY WORDS, YOU, TOO KNOW WHT IT IS LIKE.............THEN, PART OF THE PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNAL WILL HAVE BEEN REACHED...............FOR YOU TO FEEL THE "EVERYDAYNESS, " THE "BOREDOM," THE "STANDING STILL OF TIME," ...THE SLOW PROGRESSION OF TIME, IN AN OTHERWISE ACTIVE AND PROGRESSIVE WOMAN.............HOW LIFE STOOD STILL FOR ME THE DAY JIMMY WALKED OUT OF THE DOOR, ON HIS WAY TO JAIL........................FRAN

 

KINTOCK EMPLOYMENT COUNSELOR DOES A GREAT JOB!

JIMMY HAS MET SO MANY WONDERUL PEOPLE DURING HIS TIME AWAY FROM HOME.......AS YOU ALREADY KNOW, MY HUSBAND ALWAYS MAKES THE BEST OF THINGS, AND IS ALWAYS CHEERFUL, NO MATTER WHAT.  HE KNOWS HE HAS COMMITTED A CRIME, AND ACCORDING TO THE RULES OF OUR STATE/COUNTRY HE HAS TO SERVE HIS TIME IN PRISON FOR IT....AND HE IS NOT ONE BIT WORRIED ABOUT THAT...BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT HE DESERVES.  THE ONLY ONE HE WORRIES ABOUT IS ME, AND HOW I HANDLE IT, BECAUSE WHEN HE COMMITTED THE CRIME, HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME....I WAS NOT IN THE PICTURE AT ALL....I LIVED 2500 MILES AWAY, AND WE WERE NOT IN ANY COMMUNICATION....AND THEN GOD PUT US TOGETHER.....

  SO JIMMY HAS MET SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE, LIKE I SAID, IN THESE 2 YEARS AWAY FROM HOME......

  ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IS THE "EMPLOYMENT COUNSELOR" AT KINTOCK..."MR. I."  JIMMY IS ACTUALLY IN THE PROCESS OF FINDING ANOTHER JOB, AS THE ONE HE HAS....WELL, THE JOB SENDS ALL THE WORKERS HOME AFTER 4 HOURS, IF THERE IS NOT ENOUGH OF WORK TO DO IN THE FACTORY.....AND JIMMY LIKES TO WORK, SO IT IS NOT ENOUGH OF WORKING TIME FOR HIM.  SO "MR. I "  IS SUCH A WONDERFUL MAN, THAT HE IS HELPING JIMMY TO FIND ANOTHER JOB, THAT HE WILL BE SUITED TO, AND THAT HE WILL FIND INTERESTING AND CHALLENGING....

  "MR. I" IS A TOUGH MAN.....AND HE SHOULD BE THAT WAY IN HIS WORK....THAT IS WHAT THE RESIDENTS NEED....SOMEONE A LITTLE HARD AND DISIPLINED ON THEM....SOMEONE TO GUIDE THEM....HELP THEM TO FIND THE RIGHT JOB....THAT IS WHAT THOSE GUYS NEED......SO MANY NEVER EVEN WORKED...UNEDUCATED...THEY NEVER EVEN FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL........THEY PROBABLY DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.......THEY HAVE NEVER FELT THE PLEASURE THAT GROWS WITHIN, OF HAVING A JOB AND WORKING..,,GETTING A PAYCHECK....HAVING RESPONSIBILTY ON THE JOB.......THEY ONLY KNOW A LIFE OF CRIME AND LIVING IN THE STREETS.  THEY HAVE LITTLE OR NO APPRECIATION OF A JOB............AND, I BELIEVE, "MR. I"  INSPIRES THEM, AND HELPS THEM ALONG THIS ROCKY ROAD..............EVERY HUMAN BEING IS "SUITED" TO A CERTAIN TYPE OF WORK...AND THAT IS WHAT "MR. I "  MUST FIND IN EACH PERSON HE COUNSELS...........AND SO "MR. I'S"   "GIFT" IN LIFE, IS THAT HE CAN 'SEE' WITHIN EACH PERSON, AND SEE JUST WHAT THEY ARE SUITE D FOR...........WHAT ARE THEY GOOD AT?.......SPEAKING, WRITING, TASK ORIENTED, CERTAIN SKILLS, LABOR, WORKING WITH THE PUBLIC, WORKING ALONE?  WHAT INSPIRES A PERSON?  WHAT MAKES HIM HAPPY?  CAN THAT PERSON FIND THE RIGHT JOB THAT WILL CHANGE HIS MIND FROM THE WORLD OF CRIMES, AND MAKE HIM INTERESTED IN BEING A PRODUCTIVE PERSON, THROUGH HIS JOB, BY CONTRIBUTING TO SOCIETY.

  YES, MR. I, IS A SPECIAL PERSON, WHO HAS A SPECIAL JOB TO DO............THOSE AT KINTOCK SHOULD CERTAINLY FEEL "BLESSED' TO HAVE SOMEONE THERE, LIKE MR. I TO HELP AND GUIDE THEM.  SOMEONE TO BE INTERESTED IN THEM, BECAUSE MOST LIKELY THAT IS WHERE THEIR PROBLEM OF INCARCERATION STARTED, FOR MOST...NEVER HAVING ANYONE TO GUIDE THEM, ....TO HAVE SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT THEM..........AND THAT IS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE THING...TO NOT BE CARED ABOUT AS A HUMAN BEING IN OUR WORLD.......SO, WE ARE THAKFUL, TO HAVE "MR.. I" TO CARE ABOUT AND HELP TO FIND JOBS FOR THOSE AT KINTOCK........I UNDERSTAND THAT A LOT OF THOSE MEN FEEL 'MR. I' IS A TOUGH INDIVIDUAL. BUT THEY SHOULD SEE HOW LUCKY THEY ARE TO HAVE A MAN LIKE HIM THERE.........THAT IS THE TYPE OF INDIVIDUAL THEY NEED.

  AND NOW, ON A LITTLE LIGHTER SIDE..............WELL, I'M NOT IN PRISON, BUT I NEED DISIPLINE TOO!...........LOL...I THINK THAT IS WHY JIMMY MARRIED ME!........HE IS A VERY DISIPLNED MAN, AND YET, HE IS THE ONE IN PRISON....I JUST CAN'T FIGURE IT ALL OUT!...LOL.....AND SO , AT THE AGE OF 51, MY HUSBAND DISCIPLINES ME...ALTHOUGH HE IS IN PRISON, AND 2 YEARS YOUNGER THEN ME................WELL, YES, I GUESS I NEED TO HAVE SOME RULES MADE AROUND ME.........HOWEVER, I'M VERY PRODUCTIVE, TOO!.........FOR EXAMPLE, I HAVE SITTING HERE ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE, 15 MANILLA ENVELELPOES TO MAIL TOMOROW...STORIES AND COVERING LETTERS I HAVE WRITTEN IN THE PAST FEW DAYS...AND I HAVE MORE TO WRITE!............SO, MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND HAS CALLED ME EVERYDAY FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS, AT 12 NOON, TO MAKE SURE I HAVE GOTTEN UP!............YES, LIKE I SAID, I NEED DISCILPLINE!!!!  I 'M JUST ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING UP!.......I JUST LOVE TO SLEEP!......LOL...AND JIMMY MAKES SURE I GET UP, TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE AND PETS..........AND GO OUTSIDE....AND DO CONSTRUCTIVE THINGS............YES, I LOVE HAVING A HUSBAND THAT KEEPS TRACK OF ME, DESPITE PRISON WALLS..........I KNOW I'M A BUNDLE FOR JIMMY TO HANDLE, AND HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN DO IT....BECAUSE HE IS MY HUSBAND, AND I AM HIS WIFE.......................WELL, MY ARGUEMENT TO HIM , IS THAT I WORKED SINCE THE AGE OF 20, AS A REISTERED NURSE, AND HAD TO MEET TIME SCHEDULES, ETC...AND NOW, AFTER 28 YEARS OF WORKING CONTINUOSLY, I'M ALLOWED TO SLEEP AS LONG AS I WANT....AS LONG AS I'M STILL A CONSTRUCTIVE PERSON!

GOOD-BYE, AND GOOD-NIGHT EVERYONE!........WRITE ME YOUR COMMENTS AND E-MAILS....I LOVE TO HEAR THEM!...................FRAN

 

RALPH WALDO EMERSON...QUOTE

"LIFE CONSISTS IN WHAT A MAN IS THINKING ALL DAY."

                                               RALPH WALDO EMERSON

ASSIST. ADM. AT KINTOCK, THREATENS TO SEND MY HUSBAND BACK TO PRISON....OVER A CUP OF TEA!

I HAVE SOME NEWS ABOUT KINTOCK, THAT TOOK PLACE THE OTHER DAY, AND I'M SURE YOU WILL FIND IT A LITTLE SHOCKING, BUT THE STORY DOES HAVE A GOOD OUTCOME.........AND I WRITE THIS, TO LET THE PUBLIC SEE THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF UNFAIR THINGS THAT GO ON WITHIN OUR PRISON SYSTEM, AND THAT IS WHY WE NEED PEOPLE LIKE MARTHA STEWART, WHO SAW FOR HERSELF WHAT IT WAS LIKE.....AND HOPEFULLY SHE WILL WORK ON THE ISSUES OF "PRISON REFORM."

WELL, ON FRIDAY, JIMMY'S ROOM, WHICH HE SHARES WITH AROUND 12 OTHER MEN ( THIS ITSELF IS UNBELIEVABLE, AND I FEEL UNSANITARY), WAS FOUND TO HAVE BECOME INFESTED WITH "BUGS," WHICH WERE BELIEVED TO BE "BED BUGS."........SO JIMMY AND THE OTHER MEN WERE NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO WORK THAT NIGHT..........THE MEN ARE ALL BITTEN UP BY THESE INSECTS, TOO.  THE MEN HAD TO TAKE ALL THEIR CLOTHES AND PUT THEM IN PLASTIC BAGS, GO AND WASH THEM , AND AS JIMMY HAS A LOT OF SUITS AND JACKETS, HE HAS TO GET THEM DRY-CLEANED...AND , AS YOU CAN WELL IMAGINE, AT HIS OWN EXPENSE!

SO, THE STORY CONTINUES, THAT THE MEN HAD TO 'EVACUATE" THEIR ROOM AT 3 AM, SO THE PLACE COULD BE EXTERMINATED....THEY WERE NOT ALLOWED BACK IN THEIR ROOM UNTIL 12 NOON......SO, OF  COURSE, THEY HAVE NO WHERE TO SIT, AND WAIT AROUND....NO WHERE TO SLEEP AND REST.............BUT, FOR JIMMY, IT WAS OK..........HE KEPT BUSY.

THE STORY CONTINUES....WE ARE NOT AT THE CLIMAX , YET!

JIMMY HAS BEEN AT KINTOCK FOR 5 MONTHS.  HE HAS DONE 1700 HOURS OF COMMUNITY WORK, COOKING IN THE KITCHEN........THAT IS HE COOKED IN THE KITCHEN FOR 1700 HOURS, WITHOUT PAY, SIMPLY BECAUSE HE LIKES TO WORK, AND HE IS A MAN WHO CANNOT SIT  IDLE....................ALSO, HE HAS NEVER GONE INTO THE "TV" ROOM, EXCEPT HE TOOK ME IN THER FOR A FEW MINUTES ON CHRISTMAS DAY.........THE TV IS UP HIGH, ON THE CEILING, AND HE DOES NOT ENJOY SITTING THERE WITH THE GUYS WATCHING IT.  PERIOD....

AND SO, AROUND 11 AM, JIMMY WENT INTO THE TV ROOM, ON FRIDAY, WITH NO OTHER PLACE TO GO, AS HIS ROOM WAS STILL OFF LIMITS........

HE BROUGHT A CUP OF TEA INTO THE TV ROOM, NOT KNOWING THAT 'NO FOOD, NO DRINKS,' IN THE TV ROOM, WAS THE RULE........HE INNOCENTLY BROUGHT THE CUP OF TEA IN THERE.

SUDDENLY, THE ASSISTANT ADMINISTRATOR RUNS OVER TO HIM, SAYING YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK TEA IN HERE.........JIMMY APOLOGIZED, AND TRIED TO EXPLAIN HE WAS NOT AWARE OF THAT RULE, AND THAT HE HAS BEEN SITTING UP SINCE 3 AM, WITH NO ROOM TO GO TO.

WELL, THE ASSISTANT ADMINISTRATOR DID NOT WANT TO HEAR IT!...........AT THAT POINT HE SAID, 'I CAN SEND YOU BACK TO PRISON, RIGHT NOW, IF I WANTED TO."......................YES, EVERYONE, FOR A SIMPLE CUP OF TEA, HE WANTED TO SEND HIM BACK TO PRISON!

NOW, BEING INTELLECTUAL PEOPLE, JIMMY AND I DECIDED HE WAS PROBABLY JUST "HAVING A BAD DAY.".......THIS IS THE CASE FOR PEOPLE ON THEIR JOBS....THEY CARRY THEIR PROBLEMS TO THE WORK-PLACE, AND THEN TAKE IT OUT ON THE FIRST PERSON THEY SEE!

AND THE STORY GETS EVEN BETTER!.............

HE THEN CAME BACK TO JIMMY AND SAID THAT JIMMY IS BANNED FROM WORKING IN THE KITCHN....HE IS NO LONGER TO WORK OR HELP OUT IN THE KITCHEN.

NOW, MY HUSBAND IS WELL- LIKED IN THE KITCHEN , AND IS A VERY HARD-WORKER THERE.  KINTOCK HAD TO GET 2 OR 3 MEN TO TAKE THE PLACE OF MY HUSBAND , TO DO THE WORK JIMMY WAS DOING THERE WHEN JIMMY GOT HIS OUTSIDE JOB.

JIMMY CALLED ME ON THE PHONE, AND TOLD ME ALL OF THIS, THAT WAS HAPPENING............I LISTENED TO HIM.......AND WE TALKED ABOUT IT,,,

WELL, AN ANGEL MUST HAVE BEEN LOOKING DOWN ON US THAT DAY..................JIMMY CALLED ME BACK SOON, WITH THE GOOD NEWS!................THE 'ANGEL" IS A KITCHEN MANAGER, MR. D   (i will not say his name)...........MR. D. WENT TO THIS ASSIST. ADM. AND SAID, YOU CANNOT DO THAT TO JIMMY...YOU CANNOT BAN HIM FROM THE KITCHEN, AS HE IS THE BEST AND HARDIEST WORKER HERE.............YES, MR. D HAD THE COURAGE AND UNDERSTANDING TO GO AND SPEAK TO THE ADMINISTRATOR, AND SPEAK UP FOR MY HUSBAND......................AND HE DEFENDED MY HUSBAND!.................WHAT A WONDERFUL AND MOST BLESSED MAN THIS IS!...........I KNOW THAT ONLY GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO HIM IN HIS LIFE, AND THAT OTHERS IN THIS WORLD ARE PROFOUNDLY AFFECTED BY HIS "GOODNESS."

AND SO, JIMMY IS ALLOWED TO COOK AGAIN IN THE KITCHEN.

AND IF MY HUSBAND WILL BE SENT BACK TO PRISONOVER A SILLY CUP OF TEA............I CAN'T THINK MUCH OF THIS WORLD...............BUT I DO BELIEVE, THAT "GOODNESS' ALWAYS WINS..................

LET US NOW SAY A PRAYER FOR ALL THOSE IN PRISON, THAT THEY WILL BE REFORMED AND CHANGED SOMEHOW, THROUGH THEIR INCARCERATION..............

ALSO, LET US SAY A SPECIAL PRAYER FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE 'WORKING"  WITHIN THE PRISON SYSTEM..........IT IS A HARD JOB TO DO, AND THEY ARE UNDER THE STRESSES OF LIFE.....MAY GOD BLESS THEM ALL, AND GUIDE THEM AT ALL TIMES TO DO THE RIGHT THING............WE ESPECIALLY NEED THEM TO HELP KEEP ORDER, AND PROPER CONTROL IN THIS WORLD OF OURS...............................................FRAN

 

Advice to MARTHA STEWART....ASBURY PARK PRESS

HI EVERYONE!....TRY TO GET A COPY OF TODAY'S NEWSPAPER...'"ASBURY PARK PRESS," ....THAT IS, SATURDAY, MARCH 5, 2005 EDITION.........OR YOU CAN READ IT ON-LINE  (WITHOUT THE PICTURES)................THE NEWSPAPER HAS PUBLISHED MY RESPONSE TO AN ARTICLE THEY HAVE WRITTEN , CALLED 'DEAR MARTHA,"............ADVICE TO MARTHA STEWART.

I KNEW MY LETTER WAS BEING PUBLISHED, AS THE REPORTER CALLED ME AT HOME THIS PAST WEEK........HOWEVER, WHEN I OPENED THE PAPER, I FOUND MY PIX, AND MY QUOTE WAS UNDER MY PIX!.........I WAS SHOCKED, BUT VERY HAPPY!.........SEE, THE NEWSPAPER HAS MY PIX ON FILE, AS THEY CAME TO MY HOUSE AND TOOK PIX OF ME FOR A STORY THEY WILL PUBLISH THIS SPRING, ABOUT MY JOURNAL AND MYSELF, AND JIMMY..........

IF YOU GO TO THE ARTICLE , YOU WILL FIND ME,  "FRANCES P." ........."MY ADVICE TO MARTHA IS TO NOW STICK BY THE RULES, LEAD A GOOD LIFE, AND KEEP PURSUING YOUR GOALS TO HELP OTHERS.  BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU ASSOCIATE WITH, AND LOOK TWICE BEFORE YOU TRUST ANYONE."

..............I AM SO HAPPY THAT MARTHA STEWART HOPEFULLY WILL BE WORKING FOR PRISON REFORM, AS WHAT SHE SAW IN THE PRISON, HAD A PROFOUND EFFECT ON HER, AS THE PRISON SYSTEM HAS HAD A PROFOUND EFFECT ON ME, SINCE MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN IN PRISON.................OF COURSE, I AM HOPEFUL SHE WILL STICK TO HER WORDS...................MARTHA WILL SPEAK UP FOR PRISON REFORM....WOMEN THAT WERE ABUSED AND SHOULD NOT EVEN BE IN THE PRISON SYSTEM.......AND I WILL CONTINUE MY MISSION FOR "THE RIGHTS OF THE LOVED ONES OF PRISONERS."............BECAUSE, YES, EVEN THE LOVED ONES WHO ARE OUTSIDE THE PRISON , HAVE RIGHTS, AND ARE PART OF THE REHABILATATION OF THE PRISONER...................................LOVE,     FRAN

 

"Thank You"

I'D LIKE TO TAKE A FEW MOMENTS TO THANK EVERYONE THAT READS MY JOURNAL....AND THOSE THAT SEND ME E-MAILS AND COMMENTS....THERE ARE THOSE OF YOU WHO READ MY JOURNAL ON A REGULAR BASIS......(like POOKIE, SUGAR, and BARB),  AND SOME WHO STOP BY OCCASIONALLY.  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUAL SUPPORT AND "GOOD THOUGHTS."  MANY HAVE ASKED ME FOR SOME ADVICE, ABOUT JUST HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION OF HAVING A LOVED ONE IN PRISON....I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT, BY FAR AND LARGE, BUT I HAVE TRIED TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS WITH YOU, TO HOPEFULLY MAKE THIS TRYING TIME IN YOUR LIFE A LITTLE BIT EASIER TO HANDLE....EASIER TO LIVE THROUGH......

I'D LIKE TO SAY   "THANK YOU," TO SHERMEEN, WHO WROTE A COMMENT TODAY....SHERMEEN LIVES IN LONDON, AND IS A COLLEGE STUDENT.  I ENJOYED HER JOURNAL CALLED , "PUBLIC THOUGHTS, " AND I HOPE YOU VISIT IT , TOO.  IT PUT A LITTLE SUNSHINE IN MY DAY, AND MADE LIFE SEEM BRIGHTER!  I ALSO FOUND IT INTERESTING TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE IN LONDON!......I HAVE VISITED ENGLAND 3 TIMES IN MY LIFE, AND I ALWAYS SIMPLY LOVE IT!

WELL, JIMMY IS NOW WORKING, AND WE ARE SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT!...HE ENJOYS HIS JOB, AND WORKS THE NIGHT SHIFT, WHICH IS FINE, AS I WORKED NIGHTS MOST OF MY LIFE, SO HE IS USED TO THE 'NIGHT ROUTINE," ALONG WITH ME!.............HE IS ALSO LEARNING SO MANY THINGS ON THIS JOB....AND THAT IS MY HUSBAND FOR YOU....A MAN WHO LOVES TO LEARN, AND KEEPS LEARNING.........

I'LL SAY "GOOD-NIGHT,' AS I HAVE WRITING TO DO....I HAVE SO MANY STORIES LINED UP IN MY HEAD, YOU JUST WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT!...........AND WHEN THEY ARE THERE, I MUST GET THEM OUT ON PAPER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE...OTHERWISE I CAN'T REST...........SUCH IS A WRITERS LIFE, I GUESS!!!!!!!!

LOVE, AND GOOD-NITE...............FRAN  , THE WIFE OF A CRIMINAL