Tuesday, November 8, 2005

JIMMY CAME HOME

JIMMY CAME HOME FOR ANOTHER FURLOUGH ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON, AND LEFT MONDAY AT 5:00 pm....IT WAS JUST GREAT!

ACTUALLY, IT WAS THE MOST "PERFECT DAY!"....SUN SHINING, COOL AND CRISP, THE LEAVES TURNING ORANGE AND GOLD...THE WORLD COULD NOT BE A MORE PERFECT PLACE FOR ME!...IT WAS SUNDAY, A QUIET DAY, ALL WAS AT PEACE WITH THE WORLD..........ONCE AGAIN, WE WENT TO ST. MAXIMILLIAN KOLBE CHURCH, AND WE STOPPED IN THE OUTSIDE GROTTO OF THE "BLESSED VIRGIN," TO SAY A PRAYER ...THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SPOTS!...........THERE IS A CHRISTMAS DINNER/DANCE IN DECEMBER, WHICH WE HOPE TO GO TO, IF IT IS APPROVED.

IT IS LIKE A BURDEN OF WEIGHT REMOVED FROM MY SHOULDERS, THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 32 MONTHS, WE CAN MAKE SOME SORT OF PLANS TO GO OUT SOMEWHERE, AND TO GO INTO SOCIETY........BELIEVE ME, I HAVE BEEN WORSE AT HOME, MORE LOCKED UP, THAN ANY CRIMINAL....SUDDENLY, I HAVE STARTED FEELING "RELEASED," FROM STAYING WITHIN MY OWN WORLD HERE AT HOME....YOU MUST REALIZE THAT MY EYESIGHT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT....I CAN'T SEE WELL ENOUGH TO REALLY GO ANYWHERE, AND IF BY CHANCE, I WAS ABLE TO GET THERE, I WOULDN'T REALLY BE HAPPY, BECAUSE I COULDN'T SEE MUCH AROUND ME ANYHOW....AND SO, I'VE LIVED WITHIN MY OWN LITTLE PRISON, THESE YEARS.............NOW, WITH MY HUSBAND BACK HOME WITH ME, I FEEL SAFE, AND I SEE THROUGH HIS EYES.....

JIMMY COOKED THE DINNER ON SUNDAY....ANGEL HAIR PASTA WITH MEAT SAUCE...EVERYTHING WAS SO DELICIOUS....LATER WE HAD COLD CUTS, AND PRINCE ATE LIVERWURST....

ON MONDAY, JIMMY TOOK ME TO THE RETINA SPECIALIST...THE EYE DOCTOR........IT SEEMED ALL SO NORMAL....WE SAT IN THE WAITING ROOM, AND WE WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO DIDN'T MIND SITTING THERE, WAITING FOR THE DOCTOR....JIMMY HELD MY HAND,   AND WRAPPED HIS ARM AROUND ME....EXACTLY WHERE I LIKE TO SIT...UNDER HIS ARM!...WE TALKED AND LAUGHED A LITTLE WITH EACH OTHER..

JIMMY ASKED THE DOCTOR IF I NEEDED SURGERY, BECAUSE I NOT ONLY HAVE DIABETIC RETINOPATHY, BUT ALSO GLAUCOMA, AND CATARACTS, AND THE MACULA WAS AFFECTED IN THE RIGHT EYE....THE DOCTOR SAID "NO."...THE ONLY SURGERY WOULD BE MORE LASER SURGERY, WHICH WOULD BE ON AN EMERGENCY BASIS IF MY EYES START HEMORRHAGING AGAIN....EVEN MORE LASER SURGERY WILL NOT MAKE THE EYES BETTER, BUT WILLHOPEFULLY PREVENT FURTHER DAMAGE....

IT'S KIND OF EMBARESSING, BECAUSE I CANNOT SEE THE BIG "E" ON THE CHART , WITH MY RIGHT EYE....AND I FEEL JIMMY FIDGET, AS HE SITS NEAR ME, WHEN I SAY THAT....

BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS..........AND IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE GREATNESS OF THE MAN I MARRIED, FOR HIM HAVING A WIFE THAT SEES VERY LITTLE...WELL, IT IS ALMOST A CHALLENGE TO HIM..........AND HE STILL ENCOURAGES ME TO DO SO MANY THINGS....

 ON A HAPPIER NOTE, MY LEFT EYE IS MIRACOUSLY A LITTLE BETTER....EVEN THE DOCTOR IS PERPLEXED, AS TO WHY THAT EYE GETS BETTER...HE THINKS IT IS BECAUSE I READ SO MUCH...AND I JUST REFUSE TO STOP READING....SO, THEREFORE, READING AND USING THE BETTER EYE, IS STRENGTHONG IT, NOT MAKING IT WORSE, AS SOME MAY THINK...WELL, MAYBE, THEN THERE IS SOME GOODNESS WITH JIMMY IN PRISON...THAT I AM FORCED TO BE INDEPENDENT, EVEN BEING LEGALLY BLIND........EVEN THE BLIND SOCIETY, WHOM I SPEAK WITH ON THE PHONE, JUST DOESN'T KNOW HOW I DO IT ALONE....

AND SO, THINGS ARE SLOWY FALLING INTO PLACE........JIMMY AND I WILL BE MARRIED FOR 5 YEARS THIS COMING APRIL, TWO OF WHICH WE LIVED TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE......THE REST , SEPERATED BY PRISON.........

NOW, WE ARE WAITING FOR NEXT SUNDAY, WHEN HE WILL RETURN HOME ONCE AGAIN........

WE LIVE FOR THE MOMENT..........

WE HAVE BOTH BEEN BLESSED TO GO THROUGH THIS UNUSUAL TIME IN OUR LIFE.......

WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT SOMETHING THAT MOST PEOPLE NEVER EXPERIENCE........

LIFE IS VERY STRANGE...........

I HOPE YOU CAN LEARN FROM MY JOURNAL...........

......................FRAN

 

 

4 comments:

sugar1337 said...

I am glad your time was well spent...I hope over the holidays you get to spend more time together.  I had a bad eye too, and the more I used it, the better it got...it is like a muscle, I guess, it only gets better with practice.  

lv2trnscrb said...

I do hope they approve your request to go to the Christmas dance. One day you will look back at this time he was in prison and wonder how you made it through, but it was one day at a time with the help of the Lord.

Seems like you had a good visit; I like to read your journal; it opens up my eyes to what families go through when a loved one is away from them like this.

betty

judithheartsong said...

it seems to me that love that can survive this can survive anything. I wish you both happiness. judi

dizarra said...

Fran, your a strong women, and I feel inspired just reading your journal. it's so hard when they are away, am I right? And in your case, Jimmy was coming home some weekends for few hours, but sometimes family and love one's have to travel by a big bus, just to get to the prison, at the correct time. And there's usually 'the' phone call, every day at the same time. but I bet you miss him like mad, and he you. have a good Thursday.~Diane~
http://journals.aol.com/dizarra/StorysFromtheCityTalesFromtheSea/