Saturday, November 20, 2004

THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS

Happy Thanksgiving!.......

Another Thanksgiving  rolls along...another holiday season begins!.....The stores are filled with the hustle and bustle!.......Joy and happiness fills the air!........Another year alone, for me....the second Thanksgiving alone.......I just don't know how wives of prisoners do it year after year, when their husband is incarcerated for many years......

I asked Jimmy once, "Would you have married me if you had a long prison term, let's say 10 years?"........His answer was, "No, simply because I wouldn't have put you through that....to live alone , with your husband in prison."......Married or not, I know I would have been here for him.....simply because I love him, and there is no one else like him on this planet!"

I forgot to ask Jimmy today on the phone if he is cooking turkey and stuffing and sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie for the residents on Thanksgiving..............I doubt they will have Thanksgiving dinner!.................Today for dinner they had hot dogs!

Yesterday, Jimmy was allowed to go out to a store , supervised with around 14 other guys.  They rode a bus there, and Jimmy bought his soap and toothpaste there....He was happy to get out for awhile....

Today was Family Orientation, and visitation for 2 hours.   I feel sad because I couldn't make it....I have a special note from the doctor that I'm unable to travel, with my foot surgery, and the fact that I'm legally blind.  The half-way house is around 2 hours away, and it is just too much for me....The summer of 2003, I would drive to Bayside Prison alone, and when I got there, my eyes were swollen, and I could barely see anymore.....Jimmy would make me close my eyes and try to rest them....my eyes and the muscles around them get very strained and tired.

And so, I didn't get to see Jimmy today..........But we are so excited, because his appearing before the parole board is coming up!.............All we talked about today, was how it will be to be together again, in each others arms.  He says he will keep me with him at all times....I am never to leave his side again!

During the visits today, a couple were caught having sex in the bathroom......Need I say more?............I don't think it was worth risking getting caught, because now the fellow has been sent back to prison, and he was going home on parole soon....A few moments of erotic physical pleasure is just not worth going back to prison for.  People just don't seem to use their heads.....

Well, I'm going to bed now,to think of my Jimmy.....that is how we have gotten through these 18 months, by just thinking about each other, and imagining we are with each other................................Love,  Fran

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Fran, Just keeping tell your self that this will be the last holiday without him.  Keep busy planning Jimmy's return and starting over.
Dawn          

Anonymous said...

Happy Thanksgiving to YOU, Fran!  Holidays are not great times for me.  People have many expectations and people try to "live up" to the vision that is sometimes created by the media.  So all in all, I'm one of the BAH HUMBUG people, sorry to say.  But when Thanksgiving and Christmas, both, roll around, I do think about the reason for the holiday and thank God for all that I have been given.  And I do thank God for YOU, Fran!!!  And I pray that you won't feel lonely and just like another reader said, THIS WILL BE THE LAST THANKSGIVING WITHOUT YOUR JIMMY!!!!!  It won't be long until you won't even have TO THINK ABOUT IT....you will just BE THERE in each others arms!!!!!  Sighhhh.  Nice thought, huh?

Love you, Fran!  Take care of yourself...won't be long!!!!!!!

Gretchen xo

Anonymous said...

I AGREE WITH YOU GRETCHEN, ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS.....FOR ME IT IS ALWAYS A VERY PERPLEXING TIME......PICTURE PERFECT HOLIDAYS JUST DON'T EXIST FOR ALL PEOPLE...........HOWEVER, WITH JIMMY, WE ALWAYS TRIED TO SPREAD JOY.....COOKING THE TURKEY, INVITING FRIENDS OVER.........DECORATING THE HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS.....BUT HERE ALONE, IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME................WELL. YES, I CAN' T WAIT TO BE WITH JIMMY IN HIS ARMS......ACTUALLY, IT IS ALMOST GETTING HARDER FOR US BOTH, AS THE TIME DRAGS OUT, AS THE TIME GETS CLOSER!.............love, Fran

Anonymous said...

I am glad that he is coming home soon.  Maybe you can find some friends to spend the holidays with?

Anonymous said...

I'LL BE SPENDING THANKSGIVING AT MY SISTER'S HOUSE...AFTER 3 YEARS, SHE FINALLY INVITED ME FOR THANKSGIVING.....HER DAUGHTER, SON , HIS WIFE AND CHILD, HER EX-HUSBAND, AND AUNT WILL BE THERE.......I GUESS SHE FINALLY REALIZED SHE ALMOST LOST HER SISTER THIS YEAR!!!!