KINTOCK CUTS PACK PASS FROM 3 HRS. TO 2 HRS,.DONE A FEW HRS. BEFORE I ARRIVED. NO EXPLANATION WHY

HI EVERYONE!

I SAW JIMMY ON WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 2005, ON HIS 50TH BIRTHDAY.  IT WAS WONDERFUL TO SEE HIM....LAST TIME WE SAW EACH OTHER WAS AT KINTOCK , ON CHRISTMAS DAY...THAT IS 5 MONTHS AGO.....AND SO, WE FOLLOWED THE RULES AND DID NOT DEVIATE.  WE DID EXACTLY AS INSTRUCTED.  WE MET AT A CLOTHING WAREHOUSE STORE IN VINELAND, THAT IS APPROVED BY KINTOCK.  JIMMY, ACCORDING TO THE RULES IS NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO SIT IN THE CAR...AND HE DIDN'T.  WE MET FOR 1 HOUR, 15 MINUTES....BECAUSE HE HAD TO START WALKING TO THE BUS STOP AND FIRST CALL KINTOCK, THAT HE IS ON HIS WAY BACK.  HE SHOWED ME THE PAPER GIVEN TO HIM, WITH INSTRUCTIONS FOR EACH MINUTE AND HOUR....WHAT HE IS TO DO.  TRUTHFULLY, I NEVER MET MY HUSBAND , OR ANY MAN FOR THAT MATTER , IN A WAREHOUSE STORE....BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL I DON'T EVEN SHOP IN THOSE KIND OF PLACES.....AND WHEN JIMMY AND I ARE INTIMATE WITH EACH OTHER, WE LIKE TO DO IT IN PRIVATE...NOT PUBLIC PLACES.  BUT ANYHOW, WE KISSED, HUGGED, AND HE RUBBED MY BACK, AND TOUCHED ME IN PUBLIC..ALL EYES WATCHING...BUT WHO CARES, I GUESS........I WAS DRIVEN THERE BY A FRIEND.  THE TRIP GOING TOOK 2 HOURS, AS WE GOT LOST...SO WE ARRIVED 1/2 HOUR LATE....SO OUR 2 HOUR VISIT WAS CUT INTO...IT EVEN TOOK US 2 1/2 HOURS TO DRIVE BACK.  THAT MEANS, WE DROVE FOR 5 1/2 HOURS, FOR A MEETING THAT LASTED 1 HOUR 15 MINUTES....BUT JIMMY AND I ARE SO MUCH IN LOVE, THAT NOTHING ELSE REALLY MATTERED.  MY HUSBAND LOOKED SO GOOD...DRESSED IN A SUIT AND TIE....HE LOST WEIGHT, I COULD TELL, AND HIS MUSCLES HAVE GOTTEN STRONGER....I WORE MY T-SHIRT, AND  CASUAL ATTIRE, AS I'M ALWAYS A CASUAL PERSON.....JIMMY KEPT TELLING ME HOW BEAUTIFUL I LOOK....HOW I LOST WEIGHT.......AND I KEPT LAUGHING, AND TELLING HIM HE NEEDS STONGER GLASSES....AND WE WERE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, AS USUAL....JIMMY IS ALWAYS FUSSING OVER ME...TREATING ME LIKE A QUEEN...SO PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS INTERESTED IN US...WHAT EXACTLY MAKES THIS COUPLE TICK?.....LOVE....A STRONG MUTUAL ATTRACTION...AND TIME AND DISTANCE DOES NOT AFFECT IT....IT ALWAYS GETS STRONGER........AND JIMMY JOKES A LOT...AND I FEED INTO IT...AND I JOKE BACK....AND THEN HE PULLS ME HARD , CLOSE TO HIM...AND THEN HE PULLS MY FACE TO HIM FOR A FRENCH KISS...AND THEN HE SQUEEZES ME HERE AND THERE...AND THEN HE INSPECTS MY HANDS....MY FEET......HE MASSAGES MY HANDS....HE LOOKS AT ME VERY CLOSELY...NOTHING,NOT ONETHING, EVER GETS PAST MY JIMMY....HE IS ALL-KNOWING, AND WISE!.........AND SO, PEOPLE WATCHED, AND IT APPEAARED THEY ENJOYED SEEING 2 PEOPLE IN LOVE!........AND THEN, THE VISIT WAS OVER, ALMOST BEFORE IT STARTED......BUT WE PLAY BY THE RULES....IT FEELS SO GOOD TO FOLLOW RULES AND REGULATIONS....ALTHOUGH MOST OF THE MEN AT KINTOCK DEVIATE, AND MEET THEIR WIVES IN MOTELS TO HAVE SEX.  AND SO I GOT HOME, TO MY EMPTY HOUSE, WITH THE DOG AND 2 CATS WAITING....AND THEN I REALIZED WHAT A LONELY PERSON I AM...SO MUCH TIME HAS PASSED....THERE IS NOTHING HERE IN THIS LONELY HOUSE FOR ME, EXCEPT THE ANIMALS...AND I LOOK AT MYSELF FROM A DISTANCE, AND SEE A LONELY CREATURE...HAPPY, BUT MY HAPPINESS CAN ONLY EXTEND SO FAR.......I SORT OF LIVE IN A STRANGE BUBBLE...UNKNOWN BY MOST. AND SO, I NOW WAIT....I WAIT FOR THE NEXT STEP, IN THIS TORTOUS PROCESS.......YES, I AM TORTURED BY IT ALL, AND NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT AT THIS POINT........MY LAUGHTER AND HAPPINESS LAST FOR SHORT SPURTS.....TEARS FLOW AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN THE DAY........I DECIDED A FEW DAYS AGO, TO TURN MY LIFE OVER TO THE LORD...TO GOD.  THAT IS THE BEST THING TO DO.  WHAT I LEARNED IS THAT GOD TAKES CARE OF THOSE WHO ARE DIFFERENT THAN OTHERS...THOSE LIKE ME, WHO ARE TORTURED IN LIFE.  IT IS ONLY GOD THAT WE CAN DEPEND ON...HE WILL NEVER FAIL YOU...HUMAN  BEINGS CAN NOT HELP ACT THE WAY THEY DO, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST THAT....HUMAN.

TODAY, I WENT OUT TO THE STORE TO DEVERT MY MIND...JIMMY WAS WORKING AS USUAL....I AM BACK TO THE TORTURE OF A MUNDANE EXISTANCE.......SEPERATED FROM MY LOVE...JIMMY.  I ASK GOD EVERY DAY...IS IT FAIR?.....I WILL BE 52  JULY 1ST.........THIS IS THE TIME IN MY LIFE THAT I'M GROWING OLDER........AND ALL THIS IS TAKING PLACE.........I JUST DON'T REALLY UNDERSTNAD IT.....SO, I WILL GIVE MYSELF OVER TO THE LORD, AND BE LED ONLY BY THE HOLY SPIRIT.......................

ONE TERRIBLE THING THAT TOOK PLACE WHEN I MET JIMMY, AND I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.  JIMMY HAD BEEN APPROVED FOR A 3 HOUR VISIT WITH ME ON WEDNESDAY...IT WAS WRITTEN ON HIS PAPER.  WELL, THE MORNING OF OUR VISIT, AT 9AM, HE WAS GIVEN THE PAPER, AND THE TIME WAS CROSSED OUT...IT WAS MADE INTO A 2 HOUR VISIT, DONE BY THE ASSISTANT ADMINISTRATOR....WHO KNOWS WHY HE DID THIS...I HAVE NOT SEEN MY HUSBAND FOR 5 MONTHS, AND HAVE NEVER GONE ON A PASS WITH HIM.....I AM BLIND, AND CANNOT DRIVE IN THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY...GETTING SOME ONE TO DRIVE ME, WAS LIKE WORSE THAN PULLING TEETH.........IT'S OK.........AND THAT'S WHY I PUT MY FAITH AND TRUST IN GOD........THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.....

HELLO

HELLO...JUST TO KEEP YOU UP TO DATE ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING...I WILL BE GOING TO SEE JIMMY ON WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 2005, AS IT IS HIS BIRTHDAY.  HOWEVER, ALL PREVIOUS PLANS HAVE CHANGED.  WE WILL BE MEETING IN A PARKING LOT, IN A STORE , IN VINELAND NEW JERSEY...1.5 JHOURS , ONE WAY, FROM HERE.  OH YES!.....IT WILL BE A JOYOUS DAY....I AM THINKING TO BRING JIMMY A BIRTHDAY CAKE, AND WE CAN SIT IN FRONT OF THE STORE, AND CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHJDAY....I WILL SEE HIM FOR AN HOUR OR TWO...I WILL BE DRIVEN THERE BY HIS FRIEND....HIS FRIEND WHO REFUSES TO PLAY THE RADIO IN THE CAR, AND PREACJHES TO ME ABOUT SEVERAL SUBJECTS, AND TELLS ME ALL HIS PROBLEMS...AMD IS ONE OF THE MOST NEGATIVE PEOPLE I KNOW......SO THAT IS HOW IT IS.  I ASK GOD EVERYDAY, JUST WHAT I EVER DID TO DESERVE ALL OF THIS.....I HAVE YET TO GET AN ANSWER......ON TOP OF IT ALL, IT IS SUPPOSED TO RAIN, BE WINDY, AND VERY COLD............HOW NICE......

JIMMY AND FRAN...HUSBAND AND WIFE...PARTNERS, FRIENDS, AND LOVERS...

YES, IT IS THE 2 OF US TOGETHER...ENMESHED AND ENGRAVED WITHIN EACH OTHERS SOULS AND BODY CELLS....YES, UP AGAINST 2 VERY STRANGE AND PREDICTABLY ODD FAMILIES.  YOU WOULD THINK ITALIAN FAMILIES ARE NICE FAMILIES...JIMMY AND I ARE ITALIAN, THROUGH AND THROUGH....THAT IS WHY WE FIND OUR FAMILIES ARE BOTH VERY STRANGE...THEY ARE NOT THE NORMAL LOVING ITALIAN FAMILIES...AND THAT IS WHY JIMMY AND I BELIEVE GOD PUT US TOGETHER (ONE OF THE REASONS, THAT IS). 

AS I  SAID, OUR FAMILIES ARE PREDICTABLE.  MY AUNT AND SSISTER GO TO ATLANTIC CITY EVERY WEK.  I HAVE ASKED THEM FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS TO TAKE ME ALONG IN THE CAR, AND DROP ME OFF, SO I CAN SEE MY HUSBAND.  WELL, TONITE MY AUNT CALLED, AFTER A VERY LONG TIME.  OF COURSE, SHE IS ONCE AGAIN BUSY NEXT WEEK , SO SHE CANNOT TAKE ME TO AC...SHE WILL BE GOING TO AC FOR 4 DAYS, AND WILL BE LEAVING 1 DAY EARLIER.  AND MY SISTER HAS A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT THAT DAY.  THIS WOULD NOT BE SO BAD, BUT THEIR BEHAVIOR IS PREDICTABLE, AND THEIR RESPONSES ARE ALWAYS THE SAME.  ONE WOULD GET SUSPICIOUS AFTER ALWAYS HEARING THEIR SAME ANSWER.  AND NOW, I SIMPLE KNOW WHAT THEIR ANSWER IS...ALL THE TIME....THEY SIMPLY REFUSE TO HELP ME....WHEN I TELL STARNGERS THIS, THEY ARE REALLY SHOCKED THAT A FAMILY ACTS LIKE THIS.  WELL, IT VERIFIES WHAT I TOLD JIMMY, 4 YEARS AGO, WHEN I FIRST MET HIM ON-LINE..."what about your family?" Jimmy asked me.  I replied, "I have no family."  "Fran," he said, "everyone has some family, somewhere."  I answered, "well, not me."  "my family deserted me 31 years ago, at the age of 20.  They threw me out of the house, and I had minimal contact with them through the years.  Only enough that they know I am alive." FUNNY THING IS, I WAS ALWAYS A "GOOD GIRL." I NEVER DRANK, I NEVER TOOK DRUGS, NEVER HAD SEX AS A TEEN-AGER, NEVER EVEN HAD A BOYFRIEND UNTIL I WAS 20.  I NEVER WENT TO A PROM, A DANCE....I NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE...I WAS THE QUIET ONE....COURTEOUS.....NEVER COMMITTED ANY SORT OF CRIME....I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN GOD...WENT TO CHURCH, AND WAS A GOOD CATHOLIC....I WAS THE QUIET ONE IN THE CORNER...IN THE LIBRARY.  AND WHEN I FINALLY FOUND A BOYFRIEND, 15 YEARS OLDER THAT ME, AT THE AGE OF 20, THEY DIDN'T LIKE IT, AND THREW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE.  AND THIS SISTER, AND AUNT WERE INSTRUMENTAL IN CONVINCING MY MOTHER TO THROW ME OUT.  AND SO, THAT IS MY LIFE....NEVER A TRAMP, NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE...ALWAYS SERIOUS...AN R.N, AT 20....EDUCATING MYSELF, THROUH GRAD. SCHOOL, AND TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD.  I MADE IT ALONE, IN NEW YORK CITY, AT THE AGE OF 20...A WOMAN ALONE, WITH A CAREER IN MANHATTAN.... AND I MANAGED TO GROW UP FAST...AND SO WHEN I MET JIMMY, HE TOOK ME BACK TO JERSEY...HE TOLD ME I WAS IMAGINING THINGS...HE SAID MY FAMILY WOULD LIKE ME, BECAUSE I WAS SUCH A NICE PERSON..THROUGH THE YEARS, I DEVELOPED MYSELF IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS....OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE THROWN OUT OF THEIR FAMILIES BECOME PROSTITUTES AND DRUG ADDICTS....BUT NOT ME...I AM A STRONG WOMAN, AND PEOPLE DON'T BREAK ME. 

LAST SATURDAY, I TOLD YOU I MET JIMMY'S FATHER IN THE FOODSTORE, ALONG WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND.  WE SPOKE AND HE SAID THEY WOULD TAKE ME TO ATLANTIVC CITY NEXT WEEK.  I CALLED HIM THE NEXT DAY.  SURE AS SURE CAN BE, HE ALSO BACKED OUT, ONCE AGAIN.  I'M NOT SURE IF JIMMY'S FATHER, OR MY FAMILY ARE WORSE.  AND SO, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN UNBELIEVABLE IF JIMMY'S FATHER WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME.....

AND SO, GODWILLING, I WILL STILL GET TO SEE JIMMY NEXT WEEK....FOR ME TO GET THERE, AND COME BACK, WILL COST US A MINIMUM OF $350.....BUT IT IS OK,,,WORTH IT, OF COURSE TO SEE EACH OTHER FOR A FEW HOURS.....AND SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, JIMMY AND I ARE UP AGAINST THE ODDS, BUT SOMEHOW, WE ALWAYS  ARE THE WINNERS.....I THINK IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE VERY STRONG PEOPLE, AND TOGETHER, WE ARE EVEN STRONGER............LOL..OH YEAH!....WATCH OUT!...HERE COMES JIMMY AND FRAN!!!

KINTOCK

DEAR NANA

IN RESPONSE TO YOUR COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY...IS YOUR FIANCE GOING TO KINTOCK IN BRIDGETON?  HE WILL LIKE KINTOCK.  IT IS A VERY NICE PLACE.  CLEAN, NEAT, ORDERLY.  NEW BUILDING.  HE WILL GET A JOB, OUTSIDE OF KINTOCK, SINCE IT IS A WORKING HALF-WAY HOUSE.  HE WILL GET A 9 HOUR PACK PASS, AT WHICH TIME YOU WILL SEE HIM OUTSIDE OF KINTOCK, FOR 9 HOURS./...AND THEN, HE WILL START WEEK-END FURLOUGHS HOME.  KINTOCK IS A WONDERFUL PLACE.  HOWEVER, HE MUST FOLLOW THE RULES. HE MUST NOT "DEVIATE."  WELL, THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT IN LIFE...FOLLOW THE RULES, AND DO NOT DEVIATE....THAT'S NOT ASKING TOO MUCH...IS IT?

GOOD-NITE ALL.  ......FRAN

I'M HERE

HI EVERYBODY!  I'M STILL HERE, JUST HANGING AROUND, RELAXING...SPENDING TIME OUTSIDE IN THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND BLUE SKIES..PLANTING MY HERBAL GARDEN ON THE BACK PORCH, AND MY GRAPE TOMATOE PLANTS , WHICH I LOVE TO EAT GRAPE TOMATOES!  I EVEN BOUGHT ZUCHINNI AND CUCMBER PLANTS THIS YEAR!  I'VE BEEN DOING A LITTLE SHOPPING, AND JUST HANGING AROUND...I GUESS YOU COULD SAY "CHILLIN." BEEN DOING A LITTLE SPRING CLEANING, TOO.  AS MUCH AS I LOVE THE COMPUTER, SOMETIMES I JUST HAVE TO STEP BACK FROM IT FOR AWHILE.  ONE NEEDS TO GET OUT IN THE FRESH AIR, ETC.  WELL, I GUESS I'M OUT OF THE BAD MOOD I WAS IN...THE ONE THING I DO HAVE IS A VERY SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND...HE REALIZES THAT SOMETIMES I GO THROUGH PHASES OF ANGER, AND THAT IT IS ONLY NATURAL.  WHAT IT REALLY IS, IS THAT I NEED TO BE HUGGED AND TOUCHED, AND KISSED BY SOMEONE...BY MY HUSBAND.  AND SO, I BELIEVE THAT JIMMY IS IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING PLANS FOR ME TO SEE HIM NEXT WEEK...I'LL LET YOU KNOW ALL THE PARTICULARS , WHEN I FIND OUT WHAT'S HAPPENING.  I WAS SHOCKED TO RECEIVE SO MANY E-MAILS, AND BEAUTIFUL COMMENTS, FROM PEOPLE THAT READ THIS JOURNAL, THAT ASKED ME TO KEEP WRITING IT. THEY ASKED ME NOT TO BE UPSET, THAT THEY UNDERSTOOD ME, THAT WE ARE A SELECT GROUP OF WOMEN...WE THAT HAVE OUR MEN IN PRISONS...THEY ENCOURAGE ME TO WRITE...YES, YOUR COMMENTS WERE SO IMPORTANT TO ME, THAT YES, I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE.  PLEASE, EVERYONE, CLICK ON THE COMMENTS FROM THE LAST FEW ENTRIES, AND SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!  YOU WILL BE AMAZED, THAT PEOPLE I DIDN'T KNOW WERE READING THIS JOURNAL, LEFT COMMENTS THAT SAID "it is great that you are sharing this journal with wives of those in the prison system."  "it is educational to those planning a visit for the first time."  (ACTUALLY THAT COMMENT WAS POSTED IN MY OTHER JOURNAL..."WIVES OF PRISONERS....AND OTHER LOVED ONES." )  ANOTHER WRITES,"I DON'T FIND YOUR JOURNAL SAD.  YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING ME COPE...I DON'T GET MUCH UNDERSTANDING FROM ANYONE.  PEOPLE ARE JUDGEMENTAL AND CRITICAL.  ..YOU HAVE HELPED ME TO FEEL LESS  ALONE IN THIS STRUGGLE THAT OTHERS WHO HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED IT JUST CANNOT FIND IT IN THEIR HEARTS TO EMPATHASIZE WITH." 

WELL, I MUST SAY THANK YOU, ALL, FROM THE DEEPEST, BOTTOM OF MY HEART.  YOU HAVE BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES.  YOU HAVE RENEWED THE FACT FOR ME, THATTHIS JOURNAL IS HELPING OTHERS.  I KNOW SOMETIMES I SOUND LIKE A BROKEN RECORD, TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER, BUT THAT IS JUST HOW IT IS, IN REALITY , FOR THE WOMEN, AND LOVED ONES IN REAL LIFE.  YOU MAY SEE THEM IN A STORE, GOING ABOUT THEIR DAILY LIVES, BUT THEY HOLD WITHIN THEM, THE DARK DEEP SECRET, THAT THE PERSON THEY LOVE IS LOCKED UP.  YES, WE ARE A UNIQUE BUNCH OF PEOPLE, AND I GUESS WE ARE STRONGER, AND ALL THE MORE BETTER FOR IT, IN THE LONG RUN...I THINK THERE IS A POET WHO SAID..."IT IS BETTER TO LOVE AND BE LOVED, RATHER THAN NEVER TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL."

HAVE A GOOD DAY, AND GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU WHO ARE OUT THERE STRUGGLING...............FRAN

taking a break

i'll be taking a break from writing this journal.  i'll return if and when i have something more to say.  someone wrote to me and said this journal makes them feel sad....that i am like a woman exiled.  that i am an innocent women who fell in love with a man with problems.

well, it's really not the purpose to make one feel sad.  life goes on, and the world goes on, but those with loved ones in prison, well, their life is very different from the norm.  they live in a different world.  in a bubble. 

all the aol journals that i have read, are based on a "happy life," an unrealistic world.  a world of happy homes, happy marriages, children, holidays, flowers that grow in their garden, cookies that bake in their ovens...but this journal is based on the realities of life.  this journal is really not for everyone.  yes, it can be depressing, to see what goes on behind the scenes in the life of a criminal's wife. 

and those "happy journals,' are unrealistic...they are living lies.  no one's life is so perfect as they portray.  to prove it, we have a 50 per cent divorce rate in our country, we have how many babies being born out of wed lock today, we have how many couples living together, we have close to 2 million people in prisons in our country....and the list goes on and on.  and so, i am sorry if you find my journal sad, because it is only reality.

jimmy told me today, that i remind him of KRISTIE ALLIE.  my humor, my attitude, and the way about me.  so, if you can imagine how she is, then you will know me, and understand just who i am.  that has always been my problem in life...for people to understand me.  and if i portrayed myself as a depressive person, well, i am sorry to have depressed you.  see, i'm really not like that, and i guess i had you all fooled..because as you all go about in your happy little homes, that are made out of perfetion, my life continues to be one big whirlwind of excitement and pleasure.  talk to you later...you will see, as life unfolds for me, just what i am talking about!  i am not a depressive criminal's wife, by far and large!

TIME MOVES ON

THIS IS A REALITY JOURNAL.  AND SO, THE REALITY OF IT IS THAT JIMMY PROMISED ME 8 MONTHS AGO, THAT ONCE HE WENT TO A HALF-WAY HOUSE, HE WOULD START WEEK-END FURLOUGHS HOME.  AND SO, I'M STILL WAITING.  AND NOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED IS, I AM TIRED OF WAITING, AND HAVE STARTED TO MEET SOME NEW FRIENDS, VIA THE COMPUTER AND PHONE.  SOMETIMES I FEEL THESE NEW FRIENDS CARE ABOUT ME MORE THAN MY OWN HUSBAND.  THEY HAVE TIME FOR ME, WHEREAS JIMMY DOESN'T.  THEY CALL ME ALL DAY, EVERYDAY, AND TALK TO ME, AND CARE IF I AM NOT FEELING WELL, OR WHATEVER.  AND SO, EVEN A PSYCHIATRIST OR PSYCHOLOGIST WOULD TELL ME THAT IT IS ABNORMAL TO REMAIN COMPLETLY ALONE FOR 26 MONTHS.  ALL OTHERS HAVE ABANDONED ME, SO NOW , I WILL CONTINUE WITH MY NEW FRIENDS.  I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE.  I HAVE TRIED TO REMAIN THE DEVOTED WIFE, BUT IF YOU LOOK AT IT FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.  I ASKED MY SISTER AND AUNT, WHO LIVE 10 MINUTES AWAY, TO AT LEAST DRIVE ME TO ATLANTIC CITY, WHICH IS ONE HOUR AWAY FROM HERE.  JIMMY COULD SET UP A 9 HOUE PACK PASS, TO SEE ME...WELL THE PROBLEM IS  THAT JIMMY IS JUST TOO BUSY WITH HIS JOB, TO SEE HIS WIFE.  AND THE SISIER AND AUNT HAVE STOPPED CALLING ME FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS, BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, THEY DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH DRIVING ME TO ATLANTIC CITY, OR EVEN KINTOCK.  NOW, MIND YOU, THE AUNT AND SISTER DRIVE TO ATLANTIC CITY EVERY WEEK, PASS HIS STORE, ETC.  AND LAST WEEK-END I SAW JIMMY'S FATHER IN SHOP-RITE..HE TURNED HIS HEAD AND LOOKED THE OTER WAY...AND SO, THIS IS A REALITY JOURNAL.  YOU CAN READ HOW LIFE IS FOR A PRISONER'S WIFE.  YOU CAN SEE HOW THE PENAL SYSTEM IS INSTRUMENTAL IN DESTROYING A MARRIAGE...THEY SHOUD BE INSISTING THAT HE HAS WEEK-END FURLOUGHS HOME, TO SEE HIS WIFE.  IT SHOULD BE UP TO THOSE IN KINTOCK, THE HALF-WAY HOUSE WHERE HE LIVES...AND SO, NOW, IT JUST MAY BE TOO LATE.  I HAVE FINALLY FOUND FRIENDS THAT CARE ABOUT ME, AND MAKE MY LIFE HAPPY........AND SO THAT IS THE SAD STORY ABOUT LIFE, BUT FOR ME, I REFUSE TO BE SAD.....

PRISON WIFE JOURNAL...LOOKING FOR A PUBLISHER OR AGENT

IF YOU ARE A PUBLISHER OR AGENT READING THIS, PLEASE CONTACT ME BY E-MAIL, IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PUBLISHING A BOOK ABOUT MY JOURNAL..."REFLECTIONS OF A PRISON WIFE." MY JOURNAL IS NOT ABOUT THE COOKIES I BAKE, OR THE FLOWERS THAT GROW IN MY GARDEN, AS MOST JOURNALS TALK ABOUT.  MY JOURNAL IS ABOUT "REAL STUFF."  THE REAL EXPERIENCE OF WHAT I GO THROUGH.  MY JOURNAL IS LIKE A "REALITY JOURNAL"...JUST LIKE A "REALITY TV SHOW."  SO, COME ON..STEP INTO MY WORLD...STEP INTO MY THOUGHTS. I HOLD BACK NOTHING.   MY JOURNAL IS THE DAY TO DAY DIARY OF A WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND IS IN PRISON...NOW IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE.  YOU WILL SEE THE JOYS, THE UPS, THE DOWNS, THE EMOTIONAL TURMOIL I EXPERIENCE, ON A DAILY BASIS.  WE GOT MARRIED 4 YEARS AGO, AFTER MEETING IN A CHAT ROOM.  I LIVED IN LAS VEGAS AT THE TIME, HE LIVED IN NEW JERSEY , WHNERE HE HAD COMMITTED THE CRIME.  FROM BAYSIDE STATE PRISON, TO TALBOT HALL(REHAB), AND NOW KINTOCK, A HALF-WAY HOUSE.  WE MARRIED AT THE AGES OF 47 AND 45.  IT WAS A WILD, ROMANTIC, WHIRLWIND OF LOVE.  PART OF MY JOURNAL IS ABOUT THAT ROMANCE WE HAD BEFORE HE WAS IMPRISONED.  WE HAVE A STORY THAT PEOPLE ARE WILD ABOUT...PEOPLE LOVE OUR "LOVE STORY."  OVER 7400 HAVE READ THIS JOURNAL SINCE IT'S START ON 12/31/2003.  IN THE SUMMER OF 2004, IT WAS FEATURED ON AN AOL COMMUNITY PAGE FOR ONE WEEK.  IN JAN. 2005, A REPORTER FOR THE "PRESS OF ATLANTIC CITY," FOUND MY JOURNAL ON GOOGLE.  HE WROTE A STORY ABOUT ME, AND THIS JOURNAL, WHICH WAS PUBLISHED IN THE FEB. 20, 2005 SUNDAY NEWSPAPER, OF "THE PRESS OF ATALANTIC CITY."  THIS JOURNAL CN BE FOUND THROUGHOUT THE INTERNET, BY GOOGLING, "REFLECTIONS OF  A PRISON WIFE,"  "PRISON WIFE," "KINTOCK," BAYSIDE STATE PRISON," AMONGST OTHERS.  I AM ALSO ALL OVER MAMA. COM (SEARCH ENGINE).  SO, COME ON..NOW IS YOUR CHANCE.  CONTACT ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO PUBLISH MY BOOK.......FRAN

CRYSTAL MOON 222 @aol.com