Tuesday, May 17, 2005

JIMMY AND FRAN...HUSBAND AND WIFE...PARTNERS, FRIENDS, AND LOVERS...

YES, IT IS THE 2 OF US TOGETHER...ENMESHED AND ENGRAVED WITHIN EACH OTHERS SOULS AND BODY CELLS....YES, UP AGAINST 2 VERY STRANGE AND PREDICTABLY ODD FAMILIES.  YOU WOULD THINK ITALIAN FAMILIES ARE NICE FAMILIES...JIMMY AND I ARE ITALIAN, THROUGH AND THROUGH....THAT IS WHY WE FIND OUR FAMILIES ARE BOTH VERY STRANGE...THEY ARE NOT THE NORMAL LOVING ITALIAN FAMILIES...AND THAT IS WHY JIMMY AND I BELIEVE GOD PUT US TOGETHER (ONE OF THE REASONS, THAT IS). 

AS I  SAID, OUR FAMILIES ARE PREDICTABLE.  MY AUNT AND SSISTER GO TO ATLANTIC CITY EVERY WEK.  I HAVE ASKED THEM FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS TO TAKE ME ALONG IN THE CAR, AND DROP ME OFF, SO I CAN SEE MY HUSBAND.  WELL, TONITE MY AUNT CALLED, AFTER A VERY LONG TIME.  OF COURSE, SHE IS ONCE AGAIN BUSY NEXT WEEK , SO SHE CANNOT TAKE ME TO AC...SHE WILL BE GOING TO AC FOR 4 DAYS, AND WILL BE LEAVING 1 DAY EARLIER.  AND MY SISTER HAS A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT THAT DAY.  THIS WOULD NOT BE SO BAD, BUT THEIR BEHAVIOR IS PREDICTABLE, AND THEIR RESPONSES ARE ALWAYS THE SAME.  ONE WOULD GET SUSPICIOUS AFTER ALWAYS HEARING THEIR SAME ANSWER.  AND NOW, I SIMPLE KNOW WHAT THEIR ANSWER IS...ALL THE TIME....THEY SIMPLY REFUSE TO HELP ME....WHEN I TELL STARNGERS THIS, THEY ARE REALLY SHOCKED THAT A FAMILY ACTS LIKE THIS.  WELL, IT VERIFIES WHAT I TOLD JIMMY, 4 YEARS AGO, WHEN I FIRST MET HIM ON-LINE..."what about your family?" Jimmy asked me.  I replied, "I have no family."  "Fran," he said, "everyone has some family, somewhere."  I answered, "well, not me."  "my family deserted me 31 years ago, at the age of 20.  They threw me out of the house, and I had minimal contact with them through the years.  Only enough that they know I am alive." FUNNY THING IS, I WAS ALWAYS A "GOOD GIRL." I NEVER DRANK, I NEVER TOOK DRUGS, NEVER HAD SEX AS A TEEN-AGER, NEVER EVEN HAD A BOYFRIEND UNTIL I WAS 20.  I NEVER WENT TO A PROM, A DANCE....I NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE...I WAS THE QUIET ONE....COURTEOUS.....NEVER COMMITTED ANY SORT OF CRIME....I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN GOD...WENT TO CHURCH, AND WAS A GOOD CATHOLIC....I WAS THE QUIET ONE IN THE CORNER...IN THE LIBRARY.  AND WHEN I FINALLY FOUND A BOYFRIEND, 15 YEARS OLDER THAT ME, AT THE AGE OF 20, THEY DIDN'T LIKE IT, AND THREW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE.  AND THIS SISTER, AND AUNT WERE INSTRUMENTAL IN CONVINCING MY MOTHER TO THROW ME OUT.  AND SO, THAT IS MY LIFE....NEVER A TRAMP, NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE...ALWAYS SERIOUS...AN R.N, AT 20....EDUCATING MYSELF, THROUH GRAD. SCHOOL, AND TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD.  I MADE IT ALONE, IN NEW YORK CITY, AT THE AGE OF 20...A WOMAN ALONE, WITH A CAREER IN MANHATTAN.... AND I MANAGED TO GROW UP FAST...AND SO WHEN I MET JIMMY, HE TOOK ME BACK TO JERSEY...HE TOLD ME I WAS IMAGINING THINGS...HE SAID MY FAMILY WOULD LIKE ME, BECAUSE I WAS SUCH A NICE PERSON..THROUGH THE YEARS, I DEVELOPED MYSELF IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS....OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE THROWN OUT OF THEIR FAMILIES BECOME PROSTITUTES AND DRUG ADDICTS....BUT NOT ME...I AM A STRONG WOMAN, AND PEOPLE DON'T BREAK ME. 

LAST SATURDAY, I TOLD YOU I MET JIMMY'S FATHER IN THE FOODSTORE, ALONG WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND.  WE SPOKE AND HE SAID THEY WOULD TAKE ME TO ATLANTIVC CITY NEXT WEEK.  I CALLED HIM THE NEXT DAY.  SURE AS SURE CAN BE, HE ALSO BACKED OUT, ONCE AGAIN.  I'M NOT SURE IF JIMMY'S FATHER, OR MY FAMILY ARE WORSE.  AND SO, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN UNBELIEVABLE IF JIMMY'S FATHER WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME.....

AND SO, GODWILLING, I WILL STILL GET TO SEE JIMMY NEXT WEEK....FOR ME TO GET THERE, AND COME BACK, WILL COST US A MINIMUM OF $350.....BUT IT IS OK,,,WORTH IT, OF COURSE TO SEE EACH OTHER FOR A FEW HOURS.....AND SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, JIMMY AND I ARE UP AGAINST THE ODDS, BUT SOMEHOW, WE ALWAYS  ARE THE WINNERS.....I THINK IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE VERY STRONG PEOPLE, AND TOGETHER, WE ARE EVEN STRONGER............LOL..OH YEAH!....WATCH OUT!...HERE COMES JIMMY AND FRAN!!!

5 comments:

cudles23 said...

wow i am so sorry hope your trip goes well though

paintsaqha said...

GOOD MORNING FRAN,
I CAN'T BELIEVE BOTH OF YOUR FAMILIES.  WHAT CAN I SAY, I THOUGHT I HAD A BAD FAMILY, I THINK BOTH YOU AND JIMMY ARE RUNNING A CLOSE SECOND, YOU KNOW?  IF YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE JUST DROP ME AN E-MAIL, I GOT KICKED OUT AT 16... NICE HUNH?  I SAW HOW EXPENSIVE THE TRIP WILL BE,  HAVE  YOU CONSIDERED TAKING GREYHOUND UP THERE THE NIGHT BEFORE, STAYING IN A MOTEL, THEN HIRING A CAB TO TAKE YOU TO SEE HIM, THEN RETURN BACK HOME LATER THAT DAY ON THE BUS AGAIN?  JUST A THOUGHT. I JUST KNOW THAT THE COST IS PRETTY EXPENSIVE, AND IF YOU ARE LIKE ME, THERE ARE REALLY NOT THAT MUCH EXTRA MONEY LEFT EVERY MONTH...  I AM THINKING THIS MAY BE CHEAPER THAN WHAT YOU SAID... I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE COST OF ROOMS RUNS THERE IN AC IN ONE OF THE CASINO HOTELS, I JUST KNOW IN NEVADA YOU CAN OCCASIONALLY GET A NICE ROOM AT A DECENT PRICE BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE IF THEY GET YOU THRU THAT DOOR YOU WILL GAMBLE..  THEY ALWAYS LOSE THAT BET WITH ME BECAUSE WHEN I DO GAMBLE I GET A WHOLE WHOPPING $4.00 IN NICKELS AND WHEN I RUN OUT I AM DONE~!~  LOL   YOU SOUND MUCH MORE POSITIVE TODAY~!~  I AM GLAD TO HEAR IT ONCE AGAIN IN YOUR POSTS.  YOU HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A LITTLE BIT. PLEASE ENJOY YOUR VISIT WITH JIMMY AND RETURN SAFE.
SHERYL
PAINTSAQHA
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sugar1337 said...

I am sorry that yalls families are so hateful but they are the ultimate losers in the end for they are losing touch with members of people that could love them.  I hope you get to see Jimmy soon.  

adlessor said...

I guess the old saying is true, "you can't pick your relatives".
Thanks for not being like them.  Their actions are unforgivable.
God bless you and Jimmy.        Dawn

mandymeme4910 said...

Oh, this is wonderful i have read your journal in the past and have come back in need of some light. My fiance is in jail going on 8 1/2 months now with no court date in sight. We don't have a speedy trial system here in NC. I have had baby while he has been incarcerated. He has not been able to touch or hold his only baby boy. I completely feel you pain and desies and all the other feelings and numbness that comes from having the love of your life in prison. I don't know how much time he might have to pull either. Not knowing is the hardest thing anyone has to deal with. Then what if he does have to do some major time? How long can i hang on to him? I can't even begin to think about that , but in reality i need to keep those thoughts in the back of my mind. Because we never know what tomorrow will bring. We have to live one day at a time, and keep our heads held high. Just know that through this, we have become strong, empowering women.
Sunshine
(that's the name he gave me)