Thursday, May 12, 2005

I'M HERE

HI EVERYBODY!  I'M STILL HERE, JUST HANGING AROUND, RELAXING...SPENDING TIME OUTSIDE IN THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND BLUE SKIES..PLANTING MY HERBAL GARDEN ON THE BACK PORCH, AND MY GRAPE TOMATOE PLANTS , WHICH I LOVE TO EAT GRAPE TOMATOES!  I EVEN BOUGHT ZUCHINNI AND CUCMBER PLANTS THIS YEAR!  I'VE BEEN DOING A LITTLE SHOPPING, AND JUST HANGING AROUND...I GUESS YOU COULD SAY "CHILLIN." BEEN DOING A LITTLE SPRING CLEANING, TOO.  AS MUCH AS I LOVE THE COMPUTER, SOMETIMES I JUST HAVE TO STEP BACK FROM IT FOR AWHILE.  ONE NEEDS TO GET OUT IN THE FRESH AIR, ETC.  WELL, I GUESS I'M OUT OF THE BAD MOOD I WAS IN...THE ONE THING I DO HAVE IS A VERY SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND...HE REALIZES THAT SOMETIMES I GO THROUGH PHASES OF ANGER, AND THAT IT IS ONLY NATURAL.  WHAT IT REALLY IS, IS THAT I NEED TO BE HUGGED AND TOUCHED, AND KISSED BY SOMEONE...BY MY HUSBAND.  AND SO, I BELIEVE THAT JIMMY IS IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING PLANS FOR ME TO SEE HIM NEXT WEEK...I'LL LET YOU KNOW ALL THE PARTICULARS , WHEN I FIND OUT WHAT'S HAPPENING.  I WAS SHOCKED TO RECEIVE SO MANY E-MAILS, AND BEAUTIFUL COMMENTS, FROM PEOPLE THAT READ THIS JOURNAL, THAT ASKED ME TO KEEP WRITING IT. THEY ASKED ME NOT TO BE UPSET, THAT THEY UNDERSTOOD ME, THAT WE ARE A SELECT GROUP OF WOMEN...WE THAT HAVE OUR MEN IN PRISONS...THEY ENCOURAGE ME TO WRITE...YES, YOUR COMMENTS WERE SO IMPORTANT TO ME, THAT YES, I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE.  PLEASE, EVERYONE, CLICK ON THE COMMENTS FROM THE LAST FEW ENTRIES, AND SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!  YOU WILL BE AMAZED, THAT PEOPLE I DIDN'T KNOW WERE READING THIS JOURNAL, LEFT COMMENTS THAT SAID "it is great that you are sharing this journal with wives of those in the prison system."  "it is educational to those planning a visit for the first time."  (ACTUALLY THAT COMMENT WAS POSTED IN MY OTHER JOURNAL..."WIVES OF PRISONERS....AND OTHER LOVED ONES." )  ANOTHER WRITES,"I DON'T FIND YOUR JOURNAL SAD.  YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING ME COPE...I DON'T GET MUCH UNDERSTANDING FROM ANYONE.  PEOPLE ARE JUDGEMENTAL AND CRITICAL.  ..YOU HAVE HELPED ME TO FEEL LESS  ALONE IN THIS STRUGGLE THAT OTHERS WHO HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED IT JUST CANNOT FIND IT IN THEIR HEARTS TO EMPATHASIZE WITH." 

WELL, I MUST SAY THANK YOU, ALL, FROM THE DEEPEST, BOTTOM OF MY HEART.  YOU HAVE BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES.  YOU HAVE RENEWED THE FACT FOR ME, THATTHIS JOURNAL IS HELPING OTHERS.  I KNOW SOMETIMES I SOUND LIKE A BROKEN RECORD, TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER, BUT THAT IS JUST HOW IT IS, IN REALITY , FOR THE WOMEN, AND LOVED ONES IN REAL LIFE.  YOU MAY SEE THEM IN A STORE, GOING ABOUT THEIR DAILY LIVES, BUT THEY HOLD WITHIN THEM, THE DARK DEEP SECRET, THAT THE PERSON THEY LOVE IS LOCKED UP.  YES, WE ARE A UNIQUE BUNCH OF PEOPLE, AND I GUESS WE ARE STRONGER, AND ALL THE MORE BETTER FOR IT, IN THE LONG RUN...I THINK THERE IS A POET WHO SAID..."IT IS BETTER TO LOVE AND BE LOVED, RATHER THAN NEVER TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL."

HAVE A GOOD DAY, AND GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU WHO ARE OUT THERE STRUGGLING...............FRAN

6 comments:

sugar1337 said...

I hope you get to see him soon.  :)

kcsbaby2121 said...

i am so glad u did not stop writing i had no idea i have been so busy i have not been reading as much i am sorry i was not there in your time of need but i am glad u are better now

seagem73 said...

Yes, I've been reading quietly for a couple of weeks... :)  It is just so difficult being alone, but "not alone."  I am committed to the relationship, so I can't go out hitting the town looking for a date... lol.  I am a nurse also.  I am in the pediatric homecare field, working nights, so I don't get very much interaction with people through work, so the internet is honestly what keeps me "reasonably" sane. lol  So let's just keep our chins up Fran... it's not forever... even though some days it may feel like it is.  

memedecarlis said...

Fran,
Thank You for visiting my Journal also for inviting  me to your,s I enjoy most Journals that are real people telling themselves the truth and sharing there experinces. Although I haven't had a man incarcerated between My Brother and my Son I have , My Brother is know longer with us he passed away with Cancer two yrs ago He was in Prison when he was diagnosed with 3 to 6 mons to live We wrote letters to the Senator and had him released a month after his Diagnoses, He lasted 9 months, I miss Michael so much yet I never have to worry about where he is anymore I know he is with the Lord. My Son is in County Jail now after completing Shock Camp He has only been back for 3 months, and has violated his parole, I'am praying for a miricle.
 

nana121203 said...

I JUST WANTED YO KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE HALFWAY HOUSE, MY FI8ANCE IS GOING THERE THIS TUESDAY ETC....

hlamz56 said...

WANTED TO WRITE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A WOMEN OF GREAT COURAGE.  YOU SEE MORE WITH YOUR HEART THAN OTHER'S COULD EVER WITH THEIR EYES.

GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU SAFE
LINDA