Sunday, January 30, 2005

"IF WINTER COMES, CAN SPRING BE FAR BEHIND?"

I'VE BEEN FEELING KIND OF QUIET THESE PAST FEW DAYS....I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW A FEW MINUTES AGO, AND IT IS SNOWING AGAIN...IT'S 3AM.  JUST WHEN THE SNOW WAS CLEARING UP, AND I THOUGHT I MAYBE COULD VENTURE OUT OF THE HOUSE, HERE IT IS AGAIN.  I JUST  CAN'T GO OUT IN THE COLD AND SNOW...WITH A FOOT THAT JUST 4 MONTHS AGO HAD MAJOR SURGERY, AN AMPUTATION, WITH STILL A WOUND THE IS HEALING...NO BOOT OR SHOE WILL FIT....AND WITH THE NUMBNESS AND POOR CIRCULATION, THERE IS A POSSIBILITY OF FROSTBITE.....SO, I SIT HERE AND WAIT......FOR THE WARM WEATHER, AND FOR MY JIMMY TO RETURN HOME..........IT HAS BEEN ALMOST 3 WEEKS SINCE I LAST WENT OUT OF THE HOUSE, AND I'M JUST NOT USED TO IT.  I MISS LAS VEGAS MORE THAN ANYTHING, WHEN AT THIS TIME OF YEAR IT IS REALLY QUITE WARM...IN VEGAS, WHEN YOU STAND OUTSIDE IN THE RAYS OF THE SUN, YOU ARE WARMED IMMEDIATELY, BECAUSE THE RAYS OF THE SUN ARE SO MUCH STRONGER IN THE DESERT....HERE IN NEW JERSEY, EVEN IF IT IS SUNNY OUT THIS TIME OF YEAR, THE RAYS OF THE SUN ARE NOT STRONG ...........I LOVE THE SOUTHWEST DESERT.........I FEEL I AM PART OF IT.....MY SPIRIT LONGS FOR THE DESERT.........THE DRYNESS, THE WARMTH, THE PEACE, THE TRANQUILITY.........GETTING IN THE CAR AND DRIVING THROUGH THE DESERT......THE BARRENESS, THE CACTUS.......MILES AND MILES OF "NOTHINGNESS.".........NO PERSON, NO ANIMAL IN SIGHT...........DESERT MOUNTAINS IN THE DISTANCE...........EVERYONE SHOULD EXPERIENCE LIVING IN THE DESERT AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIVES..................

WELL, LIFE GOES ON FOR JIMMY AND I.........HE CALLED ME AROUND 5 TIMES TODAY.........EVERYTIME HE CALLED, I WAS STILL IN BED SLEEPING......THAT'S ALL I REALLY COULD DO TODAY......ROLL OVER AND SLEEP..........HE TOLD ME I MUST GET UP TOMORROW AND START DOING A FEW THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE............SOMETIMES IT'S VERY HARD.  AND SO, WE LAUGHED AND TALKED AND JOKED ON THE PHONE........JIMMY WAS IN A GOOD MOOD.....THAT'S HOW OUR LIFE IS. TALKING ON THE PHONE....AND FOR 23 MONTHS, HE KEEPS ME GOING IN LIFE, SURVIVING FROM PHONE CALL TO PHONE CALL..............

TODAY I DID RE-READ PART OF A BOOK I HAVE HAD FOR SVERAL YEARS, WHICH I BOUGHT WHEN IN LAS VEGAS...........IT IS CALLED 'THE MEDICINE WHEEL."................YOU SEE I LOVE BOOKS LIKE THAT........I HAVE HUNDREDS OF BOOKS THAT ARE VERY UNUSUAL, SPIRITUAL BOOKS.......THROUGH THE YEARS OF LIVING IN THE SOUTHWEST DESERT, I BUILT UP MY LIBRARY OF BOOKS.  IN THE HOT, DRY DESERT EVENING, I'D ALWAYS DRIVE OUT TO THE BOOKSTORE, AND BUY MYSELF SOME BOOKS TO ADD TO MY LIBRARY......THEY WERE ALWAYS SPECIAL BOOKS.......I LOVE BOOKS.  THEY ARE MY FRIENDS.  AND THOSE BOOKS ARE HERE WITH ME NOW......YES, MOST WERE SHIPPED 2500 MILES ACROSS THE COUNTRY, FROM VEGAS TO JERSEY......BECAUSE JIMMY KNEW I COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT THEM.

WHAT IS THE 'MEDICINE WHEEL"   ABOUT?............IT IS A BOOK WRITTEN BY SUN BEAR, A CHIPPEWA MEDICINE MAN, LOCATED IN SPOKANE, WASHINGTON.  THE BOOK WAS WRITTEN AS FROM A VISION HE HAD MANY YEARS AGO.  THE BOOK HELPS TO GUIDE PEOPLE NOT ONLY IN THEIR DAILY LIVING, BUT IN THEIR LIFE PATH AS WELL.

I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE SOME THOUGHTS OF SUN BEAR WITH YOU.  I BELIEVE IT PERTAINS TO ALL HUMAN BEINGS, AND TO OUR EARTH.

"MY MESSAGE CAN BE SUMMED UP IN THE PHASE 'WALK IN BALANCE UPON THE MOTHER EARTH.'  I FEEL WE HAVE COME TO THE POINT WHERE WE TRULY FEEL THE ONENESS, THE UNITY, THAT CONNECTS US TO ALL ASPECTS OF OUR LIVES."........."WE ALL SHARE THE SAME MOTHER EARTH, REGARDLESS OF RACE OR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN, SO LET US LEARN THE WAYS OF LOVE, PEACE AND HARMONY, AND SEEK THE GOOD PATHS IN LIFE."

AND NOW, I WILL SAY GOOD-NITE, AND THANK YOU FOR READING MY JOURNAL.  I APPRECIATE ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND THE WONDERFUL E-MAILS I HAVE RECEIVED....THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.....YOU ARE ALL IN MY HEART, AND I THINK ABOUT THE VARIOUS PEOPLE WHO MAY STOP BY THIS JOURNAL, TO READ A FEW LINES, IN THEIR BUSY SCHEDULE...WHO CARE ENOUGH TO READ SOMEONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS..........

LOVE,

FRAN........"tTHE WIFE OF A PRISONER"

 

8 comments:

derasta said...

I live in Las Vegas, I'm orginally from NJ the northern part. The weather here has been great...although last month we actually had snow and it stuck to the ground for a few hours...I made sure I took a few pictures...the kids loved it, it reminded them of NJ :)

http://journals.aol.com/derasta/ADayInTheLife/

barbpinion said...

Hi Hon,

Sorry you're missing Vegas so much. I lived in the desert for quite a long time so know how warm it gets. Have driven through New Jersey several times. I love books too. I spend a lot of time reading. Take care of yourself and try not to get too lonely. We are never really alone, you know. When we are alone, we are alone with GOD. There is not a safer, or more wonderful place to be. Hugs. *Barb*
http://journals.aol.com/barbpinionHEYLETSTALK
http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/THERESTOFTHESTORY

cherokeedream40 said...

Osiyo, I was looking at journals and came upon this one. I see you are reading Sun Bears' Medicine Wheel. Actually Sun Bear was of Ojibwa decent from the white earth rez. I have also read his books Buffalo Hearts and Black Dawn/Bright Day. He believed in the wisdom of Native American indians he also believed that our wisdom which is still now neglected was medicine that was needed to be taught to moderen Civilization. I myself being Cherokee/Lakota have felt that my peoples beliefs and the beliefs of other nations should be know to others who do not understand. But also to be respected. I do not agree with this new age of teachings with some who claim to be Native American and not doing what is right. We Native American Indians hold many things sacred that to many might not seem like anything that is because they do not understand. To walk your chosen path in life is hard. To walk the red road is to walk in balance. To know is a gift of understanding. hope your path in life is a good one and I wish you many blessings dohiya
.· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:-Tanena-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

p00kie2323 said...

i used to love reading and now i only like it if i can stay interested in what i am reading well i hat ethis cold weather too maybe it will be gone soon lol well will check later for more entries---p00kie

sugar1337 said...

I hope you can manage to get out of the house soon....

crystalmoon222 said...

dear pookie ..thanx for your great comments and continual support...i love reading your comments!
DEAR BARB.....last year i spoke with a prisoner's mother on the phone...she was 75 years old, and her son was youngest of 9 children.  i notified her that her son was in prison and was doing ok.  she was so happy and sent me her blessings...i had told her, 'i'm so alone and so lonely.'  she said, "my child, never say those words.  when you do, it gives the devil the oppurtunity to step in.  always say "God is with you"...never admit to being alone........And so, your comment remided me of that....thank you so much.........Fran

crystalmoon222 said...

dear tanena...thank you so much for reading my journal and commenting...i was so surprised to hear from you!.....I LIVED IN THE SOUTHWEST DESERT FOR 11 YEARS AND GREW TO LOVE THE AMERICAN INDIAN CULTURE...there is nothing like the peace and traditions of the american indians.....The Piute Indian Reservation was north of Las Vegas, and a lot of my patients were American Indian....kEEP IN TOUCH...Fran

pickupholt said...

I, too, am a wife of a prisoner.  For the last 26 months, I've been scared of , it doesn't matter.  We have two beautiful children. They are now 13 and 11.  Boy and girl, respectively.  I'm luckier than most mothers, I think, our children are good students and on the whole fairly well behaved,( in public anyway),  For everyone out there I found an organization called Friends and Family of Incarcerated Persons.  I'm lucky, they have a support meeting every Friday night her in Las Vegas, just down the street.  If you can find a chapter, please try to go.  You don't have to say a word if you don't want to.  Just being in the same room with people in the same or similar situation is very calming and helpful.