more thoughts

HI EVERYONE!.........................I'M SO HAPPY FOR ALL THE BEAUTIFUL COMMENTS YOU ARE WRITING!

MOST OF ALL, I AM HAPPY THAT THIS JOURNAL CONTINUES TO HELP THOSE WOMEN WITH A HUSBAND/MAN IN PRISON.............

PRISON WIVES ARE A UNIQUE PEOPLE..............SOME OF YOU HAVE WRITTEN AND EXPRESSED THE FEAR OF HAVING YOUR MAN RETURN HOME AFTER A FEW YEARS.............

YES, WE MUST ANALYZE IT, AND UNDERSTAND IT.IT IS A WONDERFUL THING TO HAVE YOUR MAN RETURN HOME, AND YET, IN SOME WAYS IT MAY BE A LITTLE SCARY, TOO.........AS WAS EXPRESSED IN THE COMMENTS.........

JIMMY ALWAYS TOLD ME, "FRAN, WHEN I COME BACK HOME, YOU MAY EXPERIENCE POST- TRAUMATIC SYNDROME"...............

AND SO I WOULD LIKE TO SAY, THAT WE AS WOMAN, ALTHOUGH MADLY IN LOVE WITH OUR MEN, MAY HAVE SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL ADJUSTING TO DO............

YOU MAY BE SAYING, 'WHAT IS FRAN TALKING ABOUT?".............SHE IS THE WOMAN WHO WAITED 3.6 YEARS FOR HER HUSBAND TO RETURN............THEY ARE BOTH MADLY IN LOVE...............THEY ARE BOTH HAPPY ..................

ALTHOUGH I AM NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST, I MUST TELL YOU THAT THERE ARE PSYCHOLOGIOCAL FACTORS INVOLVED...........JIMMY AND I ARE INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THIS................

AND SO, WE ARE HANDLING THINGS................I BELIEVE THAT TO HANDLE IT, IS JUST TO LET LIFE, AND YOUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS FLOW................

AS FOR ME, I'M A VERY PRIVATE PERSON...................AND SO, ALTHOUGH I THINK I HAVE BECOME PART OF THE WORLD, I REALIZE THAT IT IS A SLOW PROCESS, AND I WILL NOT PUSH IT........................AND JIMMY IS UNDERSTANBDING AND DOES NOT PUSH ME EITHER...........

AND AS FOR JIMMY, I LET HIM DO WHAT HE WANTS...THE THINGS HE ENJOYS DOING AROUND THE HOUSE................

I LOOK AT HIM WHILE HE SLEEPS, AND REALIZE HE IS A MAN WHO EXISTED IN A PRISON.....................

JIMMY IS AS NORMAL AS CAN BE..............HE IS ALWAYS A HAPPY MAN, AND NEVER LETS ANYTHING BOTHER HIM................HE LOVES BEING MY HUSBAND, AND LOVES HIS PETS AMD HOME

AS FOR ME, I STILL LOOK AT THE OUTSIDE WORLD AS A VERY STRANGE PLACE................I HAVE A LITTLE TROUBLE BECOMING VERY CONNECTED WITH PEOPLE, AND THE OUTSIDE WORLD.........................IT IS LIKE "BEING HAPPY," EVEN FOR A FEW SECONDS, SEEMS VERY ODD AND STRANGE TO ME.....................AND IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO ACCEPT THE PEOPLE IN OUR SOCIETY.................YES, I JUST FEEL I AM NOT REALLY PART OF THEM.................WHEN I SEE PEOPLE TALKING AND LAUGHING, I CAN UNDERSTAND IT, BUT I JUST CANNOT BE PART OF IT YET.................

TRUTHFULLY, IT IS LIKE I AM A LITTLE AFRAID OF LETTING MYSELF GO...OF LETTING ANYONE KNOW WHO I AM, AND WHAT MY THOUGHTS ARE.....................

I STILL DO NOT FEEL PART OF THE WORLD, ALTHOUGH MY HUSBAND TRIES EACH DAY TO HELP ME THROUGH IT...........

ALL PRISONERS MUST GO TO VISIT THE PSYCHOLOGIST AT LEAST ONCE WHEN HOME.................JIMMY HAS AN APPOINTMENT NEXT WEEK.  AND THEN, AFTER THAT, I MAY GO SEE THE PSYCHOLOGIST, TO TALK THINGS OUT.....OR WHATEVER...................THEN, IF WE WANT TO, WE CAN VISIT THE PSYCHOLOGIST AS A COUPLE................WE'LL TAKE IT A STEP AT A TIME.....................

IT IS NOT THAT WE HAVE ANY INTENSE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS, BUT YOU MUST REALIZE, THAT GOING THROUGH A PRISON PROCESS FOR YEARS, DOES HAVE A CERTAIN IMPACT ON ONE, AND IT IS GOOD TO GET INTO THE SWING OF THINGS, IN A NORMAL WAY..........

TRUTHFULLY, JIMMY AND I CONTINUE TO HAVE A GREAT TIME!.....................TODAY WE WENT TO THE BOARDWALK AT SEASIDE HEIGHTS, WITH A HUSBAND AND WIFE WHOM WE ARE FRIENDLY WITH.

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL WARM, SUNNY DAY, AND THE OCEAN WAS BEAUTIFUL!..................JIMMY WHEELED ME DOWN THE ENTIRE BOARDWALK, AND WE STAYED THERE FOR 2 HOURS.........TRUTHFULLY, I NEED THOSE QUIET TIMES WITH NATURE, TO MAKE ME FEEL AT EASE.....

THEN, WE ALL WENT OUT TO DINNER AT THE "OLIVE GARDEN."  WHAT A WONDERFUL MEAL IT WAS, AND EVERYONE WAS CHEERFULLY TALKING..................JIMMY JUST LOVES ITALIAN FOOD, SO HE HAD PASTA AND SALAD, AND BREAD STICKS........I HAD SHRIMP AND RISOTTA...

NEXT WEEKEND HE MAY TAKEME TO THE COLUMBUS DAY FAIR ON THE BOARDWALK AT SEASIDE.

YESTERDAY, ON SUNDAY, WE WENT TO 1PM MASS AT ST. MAXIMILLIAN CHURCH.  WE REALLY ENJOYED IT, AND EVEN IN CHURCH, AS WE PRAY, JIMMY LIKES TO HOLD MY HAND THROUGHOUT THE SERVICE................NEXT WEEKEND, I WILL BAKE FOR THE MONTHLY CAKE SALE IN THE CHURCH.  .......................SOME OF YOU MAY REMEMER THAT IN THE FIRST YEAR OF JIMMY'S INCARCERATION, I BAKED EVER MONTH FOR THE CHURCH BAKE SALE..............BUT AS THE YEARS WENT BY, I STOPPED DOING IT, BUT WILL NOW RESUME IT.............

YESTERDAY, WE WENT OUT TO DINNER IN A NEW MEXICAN RESTAURANT WHICH WE FOUND...............IT WAS SO GREAT AND THE FOOD DELICIOUS...................TAMALES AND ENCHILADAS!............

LAST NIGHT, JIMMY DID ALL THE THINGS HE LIKES TO DO TO ME...............GAVE ME A PEDICURE..............A MANICURE, AND PAINTED MY NAILS!...............HE EVEN COLORED MY HAIR, WHICH HE LOVES TO DO.........A PRETTY SHADE OF PLATINUM BLONDE!

WE ALSO WATCHED A GOOD ROMANTIC MOVIE ON "ON DEMAND!"  (ABOUT A BRITISH ACTRESS WHO FALLS IN LOVE WITH A YOUNGER MAN)

JIMMY SAYS THAT IN THE MORNING HE WILL TAKE ME TO BUY A NEW CAR....I BELIEVE IT IS AN SUV.  AND WE WILL STILL KEEP THE JAG.......................KNOWING MY HUSBAND, HE WILL BUY THIS NEW CAR IN AROUND 20 MINUTES, FLAT.  AS I ALWAYS SAY, JIMMY IS A VERY FAST AND QUICK MAN!

ON WEDNESDAY, HE WILL GO TO THE PAROLE OFFICE,  AS REQUIRED.

SO, EVERYTHING IS FALLING INTO PLACE.

THE BEST ADVICE, WHEN HUBBY RETURNS HOME, IS TO KEEP EVERYTHING ORGANIZED FOR HIM....................KEEP YOUR BOOKS AND CALENDERS IN ORDER............

JIMMY LOVES TO DO THINGS AND GO PLACES..............HE IS A VERY ACTIVE MAN.....HE WANTS ME WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES!................I LOVE GOING AROUND WITH HIM!...........BUT HE KNOWS NOT TO PUSH ME TOO MUCH AS I LIKE TO TAKE LIFE SLOWER...

I WILL  GO NOW, AND CLIMB BACK INTO BED, INTO JIMMY'S ARMS, WHICH ARE VERY MUSCULAR AND STRONG.............IT IS THE PLACE I FEEL SAFE AND PEACEFUL, AND CONTENT....................IT IS THE PLACE I LOVE TO BE!

.............................FRAN

(WE'RE HAVING COMPUTER PROBLEMS WITH COMCAST)