Sunday, April 2, 2006

LOGAN HALL...COUNTRY CLUB SETTING, IN THE HOOD

LOGAN HALL, HALF-WAY  BACK HOUSE, IN NEWARK , NJ, HOUSES 400 MEN WHO ARE ON PAROLE.  IT COSTS THE TAX-PAYER $40,000/YEAR TO HOUSE ONE MAN....THAT IS $16 MILLION PER YEAR.............I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WHERE YOUR TAX DOLLARS ARE GOING.

IT IS CALLED AN EDUCATIONAL CENTER.  HOWEVER, MEN ARE WALKING AROUND THERE WITH T-SHIRTS WITH PICTURES OF GUNS ON THEM.

EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMS ARE FAR AND FEW BETWEEN...WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE GIVING A CLASS, THEY GIVE IT............OTHERWISE, THE MEN ARE LEFT ON THEIR OWN.......SITTING AROUND, GETTING BORED.

THERE ARE 6 OR 7 HDT TV'S, WITH 50 INCH SCREENS , AND 6 REGULAR TV'S, WITH 36 INCH SCREENS, THAT ARE ONLY SPANISH SPEAKING.......

THERE IS WORK-OUT EQUIPMENT THROUGHOUT THE PLACE.........

SO THE GUYS ARE WORKING OUT, WATCHING TV, OR GOING OUTSIDE TO SMOKE.........NOT VERY EDUCATIONAL, IT SEEMS TO ME.

ALL MY HUSBAND WANTS IS, TO GET BACK TO HIS MANAGERIAL JOB IN IGA FOODSTORE, IN ATLANTIC CITY, WHICH HAS BEEN HELD FOR HIM SINCE DEC. 2005....HE IS TOLD, "WE ARE WORKING ON IT," BY THOSE AT LOGAN HALL.

VISITING HOURS ARE ON SAT. AND SUNDAY.  NOW, WE ARE SHOCKED, BECAUSE THE VISITING LIST WILL ONLY ALLOW 1 WOMAN ON THE LIST.  THE OWNER OF IGA, WHO IS A WOMAN, WOULD LIKE TO PICK ME UP, AND VISIT WITH JIMMY TOGETHER.........BUT ODDLY ENOUGH, SUCH A THING IS NOT ALLOWED......THE OWNER IS WILLING TO BRING HER PRIVATE NANNY ALONG, TO HELP ME OUT, AS I AM DISABLED, AND NEED HELP IN WALKING, AND USING MY WHEELCAHIR.

FAMILY NIGHT IS ON TUESDAYS.  IT IS THE RULE THAT THE WIFE MUST VISIT HER HUSBAND TWICE, NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE, ON FAMILY NIGHT BEFORE HE CAN COME HOME ON FURLOUGHS.........

LET ME PRESENT MY CASE......WE LIVE 1 HOUR AND 15 MINUTES AWAY FROM NEWARK.  I AM LEGALLY BLIND, AND NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE, AS PER MY EYE DOCTOR.  I HAVE VARIOUS DISABILITIES, WHICH DOES NOT ALLOW ME TO SIT IN A CAR FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME...I ALSO HAVE DIFFICULTY WALKING, SITTING, AND AM OFF BALANCE.......I AM IN PAIN 24 HOURS/DAY, WITH NO RELIEF.....I HAVE ALMOST TOTAL NUMBNESS IN MY FEET, LEGS, AND HANDS.....I HAD A TOE AND PART OF MY FOOT AMPUTATED 1 1/2 YEARS AGO, AND STILL CANNOT PUT SHOES ON MY FEET, DUE TO THE NUMBNESS.........I WAS PROCLAIMED DISABLED IN A COURT OF LAW, UNDER OATH, BY A JUDGE, IN A HEARING, AND........I'M STILL EXPECTED TO GO VISIT MY HUSBAND ON TUESDAY NIGHTS..........I DON'T GET IT....I REALLY DON'T.........ALSO, IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO BE OUTSIDE AT NIGHT, BECAUSE DUE TO MY VISION, I'M TOTALLY OFF-BALANCE, AND TEND TO FALL DOWN.

WHEN I'M IN MY OWN HOUSE, I'M OK........I DON'T ASK HELP FROM ANYONE....I MANAGE BY MYSELF..........MY HUSBAND HAS SET UP OUR HOUSE SO THAT I CAN GET AROUND, BY MYSELF.  WE EVEN LIVE IN A HOME THAT IS SPECIALLY CONSTRUCTED, WITH WIDE DOORS, WIDE BATHROOM SHOWER, ETC.......AND, WE LIVE IN A GATED COMMUNITY, WITH A GUARDS THAT CARS MUST PASS THROUGH........

SO , I'M JUST WONDERING IF I CAN GO THIS TUSDAY NIGHT, WITH LARRY............I KNOW HOW THOSE FAMILY VISITS ARE, BECAUSE I DID THEM IN TALBOT HALL.........LOTS OF PEOPLE, MAYBE 100 OR SO...CHILDREN RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE.......MASS CHAOS, AND NOISE......AND ME, DISABLED AND BLIND, BEING PUSHED AROUND, SEEING ONLY SHADOWS.......FRIGHTENED, AS I FEEL OUT IN PUBLIC........PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES........SEE IF YOU WOULD LIKE IT..........TAKE YOUR EYEGLASSES OFF FOR A FEW MINUTES, AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL.........VULNERABLE AND CONFUSED WITHOUT EYESIGHT.........JIMMY DID THAT ONE NIGHT , WHILE WALKING THE DOG...HE TOOK HIS EYEGLASSES OFF, AND WALKED HOME....."NOW I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,  FRAN," HE SAID.  IT IS SCARY AND CONFUSING TO WALK OUTSIDE WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO SEE."

.....SO, THAT'S THE STORY..................FRAN

I WILL NOT KNOW, IF I CAN GO UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE....DEPENDING ON HOW I PHYSICALLY FEEL........I WILL NOT KNOW TILL THE LAST MOMENT......

AND LARRY, WHO CAN TAKE ME, WILL CLOSE THE FURNITURE STORE HE OWNS EARLY, DRIVE 1 HOUR TO MY HOUSE , FROM PA., AND THEN DRIVE 1 HR., 15 MINUTES TO LOGAN HALL, AND THEN WAIT OUTSIDE FOR ME, AND THEN DRIVE ME BACK, AND THEN DRIVE ANOTHER HOUR TO GO BACK HOME.......

5 comments:

mandymeme4910 said...

Fran i normally agree with you on your journals but this one time i think that maybe you are getting down and maybe you should try to point out the positives here. Do you know how excited i would be to see my husband in person. My hubby has been in county jail for 21 months-no contact visit. I had a baby 18 months ago -whom he has never held. Where he is now they only let him shave every 2-3 weeks. He has not had a hair cut in four months. I know all the horrible things that you have been through, because you have posted them here. But try to look ahead and see how wonderful it will be to hold Jimmy's hand and actaully smell your husband. Please dont take this the worng way. But really i would love to be in your shoes right now. I would be so very happy to have the chance to touch my husband. I hope that your visit goes well.

derasta said...

I'm sorry to hear all the ailments you have Fran, I didn't know and I've been reading you for so long....was your partial foot amputation due to diabetes?

crystalmoon222 said...

debbie...yes, amputation due to diabetes...i was walking outside a lot, 1 or 2 miles /day when the toe turned gangrene...that is why it is so important for me to have someone at home to check my feet everyday, which i don't have, since i can't see my foot...they removed the toe, and an abcess the size of a baseball, making an incision down the middle of my foot that was 9 1/2 cm long, and 2.5 cm deep....i was also in septic shock, and the doctor's thought i would die.......i still cannot wear shoes, so i wear cast boots.....fran

lv2trnscrb said...

that would be very hard to do, Fran. I can't imagine the pain you deal with on a daily basis and then to have to do this additional thing on top of that which is going to cause a great deal of stress. I would imagine that the people at Logan Hall feel that they need to see if a husband and wife are going to be able to get along or support each other before he comes home, but it would be nice if they could make some exceptions to rules for disabled people like you are. It is kind of your friend, Larry, to be willing to take you.

hang in there; look at it as another milestone you have to go through to be one step closer to Jimmy being home with you forever

betty

sugar1337 said...

Maybe you could get a taxi cab sometimes to take you and hire someone to help you get there and back safely?  I think the reason they don't offer education programs there is because it is more expensive in the long run to hire teachers than a tv.