Monday, August 15, 2005

third furlough home

I'M NOW WAITING FOR JIMMY'S THIRD FURLOUGH HOME....HE SHOULD BE HOME ON WEDNESDAY, FOR ANOTHER OVERNITE FURLOUGH, THEN NEXT WEEK HE WILL START HIS WEEKLY FURLOUGHS HOME.  LIFE SIMPLY CONSISTS OF STEPPING STONES, AT THIS POINT.  I AM REALLY EXCITED, AND CAN'T WAIT FOR WEDNESDAY, WHEN I WILL BE IN HIS LOVING ARMS....HOWEVER, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, IT IS LIKE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS...IF ANYTHING AT ALL GOES WRONG, JIMMY COULD BE SENT BACK TO PRISON, VERY EASILY...WE KNOW PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN SENT BACK...THE REASONS WERE THINGS LIKE NOT CALLING KINTOCK, FORGETTING TO CALL, OR WHATEVER THE SITUATION...AND SO, WE TRY TO BE VERY CAREFUL, THAT WE FOLLOW THE RULES VERY CAREFULLY...AND SO, OF COURSE , THE STRESS CONTINUES, OF HAVING A HUSBAND IN PRISON.....YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY PLANS....AND SO, SOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF LIVING IN MY OWN FANTASY WORLD....I PRETEND , NOW , THAT JIMMY IS A TRUCKER, AND ON THE ROAD FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS....AND THEN HE COMES BACK HOME, FOR AN OVERNITE STAY...IT IS ALMOST LIKE HAVING A BOYFRIEND, AND HAVING HIM STAY OVER-NITE....I LIKE TO PRETEND , A LOT...IT HELPS ME GET BY THIS THING CALLED LIFE..........I ALWAYS SAY, "LIFE'S A JOURNEY, " BUT LIFE AS A PRISON WIFE IS A "LIFE ON A ROLLER COASTER"...HOWEVER, I AM BEING PATIENT, AND KEEPING IT ALL TOGETHER...I FEEL MORE BALANCED AND IN HARMONY THAN BEFORE...I NOW HAVE SOME ONE TO SHOP FOR, CLEAN FOR, WASH CLOTHES FOR, ETC., EVEN THOUGH HE ISN'T HERE ALL THE TIME....SOMETIMES I FEEL HAVING AN ABSENTEE HUSBAND HAS ALMOST BECOME NORMAL FOR ME...I SAY, ALMOST...THAT'S BECAUSE WE STAY SO CONNECTED AT ALL TIMES...JIMMY KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON IN THIS HOUSEHOLD...WE HOLD NO SECRETS....IT IS AN ODD WAY OF LIFE, BUT ONE THAT I AM PROUD OF, THAT I GOT A HANDLE ON....I CREATED A LIFE HERE, WITHOUT JIMMY, BUT STAY SO CLOSE TO HIM, IT IS ALMOST INCREDIBLE...I AM HAPPY I DID IT...I WAS PATIENT...I RODE ALL THE ROUGH WAVES....AND I'M STILL STANDING, AND STILL ALIVE...AND I STILL HAVE ALL MY WITS ABOUT ME, AND HAVE GROWN STRONGER THROUGH THIS PRISON EXPERIENCE.....SOME WOMEN, DON'T HANG ON, AND DO FOOLISH THINGS....I ADVISE ALL WOMEN TO BE PATIENT, AND HANG ON...CONSTRUCT YOUR LIFE AROUND YOU, IN THAT YOU ARE MAINTAINING THE HOUSEHOLD WHILE HUBBY IS GONE...DON'T DO ANYTHING AS FOOLISH AS THE MODERN DAY BONNIE AND CLYDE DID LAST WEEK...IT WILL ONLY TAKE AWAY OTHER LIVES, AND YOUR OWN...FOR NO REASON...SO BE PATIENT, AND BE STRONG...KNOW THAT YOU ARE CONSTRUCTIVE IN KEEPING YOUR LIFE, YOUR HUSBAND'S LIFE, AND YOUR HOUSEHOLD AND KIDS TOGETHER...........IT MAY SEEM LONG...BUT TIME PASSES...AND TIME IS IRRELEVANT....TIME IS ACTUALLY MAN-MADE...TIME DOES NOT EXIST IN GOD'S WORLD...THE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE IS THAT IT IS NOT LINEAR, BUT MADE OF SPIRALS AND CURVES AND SPHERES.....LINES THAT BEND...LIKE RADIO FREQUENCIES THAT BEND.  THUS, THERE IS NO BEGINNING AND NO END TO TIME...TIME IS NOT LINEAR.....SO JUST WAIT FOR YOUR MAN....TIME WILL COMPRESS, AND YOU WILL NOT EVEN REALIZE THAT YEARS HAVE PASSED......WELL, I'LL JUST SAY GOOD-NITE FOR NOW!...HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU....HOPE YOUR LITTLE CORNER OF THE WORLD IS A COZY AND COMFORTABLE AND PEACEFUL PLACE TO BE!............FRAN

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope yall enjoy yalls time together.  

Anonymous said...

I hope you enjoy your time together and all goes wellso he doesnt have to go back early..............Kasey