JUST STOPPING BY

JUST STOPPING BY, TO SAY HELLO!...JIMMY WILL BE HERE TOMORROW AFTERNOON, AND WE ARE SO EXCITED!...I HAVE THE HOUSE  IN ORDER FOR HIM, AND COOKED A SURPRISE "POT-ROAST" TODAY (ALONG WITH STRING BEANS...HE HATES VEGTABLES...TYPICAL MAN).  I EVEN MADE ORANGE SUGAR FREE JELLO FOR HIM, TO BE IN THE SPIRIT OF HALLOWEEN............THE JACK-O-LANTREN IS LITE ON THE FRONT PORCH, AND THE SCARECROW SITS IN THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE....OTHER DECORATIONS ARE ON THE FRONT DOOR........JIMMY BOUGHT ME A HANGING WITCH, LIKE A PUPPET, AND I HAVE THAT HANGING UP IN THE LIVING ROOM.....CHILDREN NEVER COME HERE FOR HALLOWEEN, TRICK OR TREATING, AS THIS IS AN ADULT COMMUNITY, BUT IN CASE THEY DO, (GRANDCHILDREN), THERE IS A BOWL OF CANDY AND LOLLIPOPS ON THE FRONT PORCH....ACTUALLY, JIMMY AND I ALWAYS KEEP A BOWL OF CANDY AS YOU WALK IN THE FRONT DOOR, FOR VISITORS...............THEN , WE ALWAYS KEEP A SMALL POTTERY BOWL, FILLED WITH COINS..........I DON'T GET INTO THE CANDY STUFF, AT ALL...I HAVE BRAIN-WASHED MYSELF THAT CANDY IS POISEN TO ME, SO I DON'T EVEN CRAVE IT ANY MORE..........HOWEVER, I DO CRAVE APPLES........YES, LOTS AND LOTS OF APPLES....I EAT 3 OR MORE A DAY.....LOTS OF BEAUTIFUL BOWLS FILLED WITH RED AND GREEN AND YELLOW APPLES, FILL MY KITCHEN!....CRAZY, ISN'T IT!..........AND JIMMY PROMISES TO WEAR HIS HALLOWEEN MASK ALL DAY AND NITE FOR ME!......IT'S WHITE, AND ILLUMINATED IN THE DARK, LIKE THAT WORN IN "HALLOWEEN."   IN THE MEANTIME , I HAVE BEEN WATCHING DIFFERENT SHOWS ON TV, FOR HALLOWEEN, THAT ARE EDUCATIONAL.........I SAW AN HOUR SPECIAL ON STEPHAN KING LAST NIGHT.......AND ANOTHER SPECIAL ON VAMPIRES.......I'M ALSO WATCHING ABOUT THE HISTORY OF HALLOWEEN, DATING BACK TO THE CELTICS....I'M FASCINATED ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT....PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE OF JUST WHAT HALLOWEEN IS ABOUT, HISTORICALLY.

WELL, I'LL GO NOW, AS JIMMY WILL CALL ME SOON.......GOOD-NITE TO ALL............FRAN

some thoughts...

WELL, JIMMY JUST CALLED, AND HE WAS AS 'PERKY" AS EVER!.......THINGS SEEM TO BE "GOOD" TODAY, AND MOVING ALONG.....FRIDAY I HAVE AN EYE DOCTOR APPOINTMENT, AND JIMMY ARRANGED FOR THE TAXI DRIVER TO PICK ME UP ON FRIDAY, AND TAKE ME  ( as my eyes are always dilated). 

I TOOK PRINCE OUT EARLIER, AND IT WAS COLD AND WINDY, BUT SUNNY....TONIGHT, NEW JERSEY IS SUPPOSSED TO GET IT'S FIRST FROST....WELL, I GUESS THAT IS THE END OF MY TOMATO PLANTS...YES, UP UNTIL NOW, I HAVE BEEN PICKING 2-3 TOMATOES PER DAY, AND EATING THEM............

TONITE I'LL WATCH MARTHA STEWART, THE APPRENTICE, AND LAST NIGHT I ENJOYED WATCHING "THE BIG LOSER."...

THANK YOU "TLANELL," FOR SHARING YOUR STORY WITH US, IN THE COMMENT OF THE LAST ENTRY.........CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR UPCOMING MARRIAGE....MAYBE YOU CAN STOP BY HERE OFTEN, AND LET US KNOW HOW YOUR WEDDING AND MARRIAGE IS, TO A MAN IN PRISON.........DID YOU MEET HIM WHILE HE WAS IN PRISON, OR DID YOU KNOW HIM BEFORE?....YOU SOUND SO VERY MUCH IN LOVE.........YOU SOUND LIKE A HAPPY AND POSITIVE PERSON...YOU CHEERED ME UP , TONITE, THROUGH YOUR WRITTEN WORDS..........

JIMMY TRIED TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME..........WE ARE VERY MUCH CONNECTED, AND HE GIVES ME "ENERGY."  SO, WHEN HE LEAVES THIS HOUSEHOLD, I BECOME VERY MUCH "DRAINED, " AND GO INTO A 'SLUMP."....ALL THE ENERGY LEAVES ME, AND I FEEL VERY SICK, FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.  SOMEWHERE I HEARD THAT THE HUMAN BODY IS LIKE A COMPUTER, AND NEEDS TO BE TURNED OF, OR RE-BOOTED  TO WORK PROPERLY AGAIN...I THINK THAT IS ME...THE TURNING OFF, IS "GOING TO SLEEP," FOR AWHILE, THEN THINGS ARE OK ONCE AGAIN...........................FRAN

 

HELLO EVERYONE

HELLO EVERYONE!...

WELL JIMMY CAME HOME, THEN JIMMY LEFT...AS QUICK AS HE WAS HERE, HE WAS GONE....

HE CAME HOME MONDAY AT 1PM, AND LEFT TUESDAY MPORNING, TODAY, AT 8 AM....THEN, HE WENT TO THE STORE TO WORK, AND SHOULD BE DONE WORKING SOON, AND ON HIS WAY BACK TO KINTOCK....

WE ATE PIZZA, MUSSELS, AND EGG PLANT PARMIGANE...FROM AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT....IT WAS GREAT!...IT WAS THE FIRST PIZZA AND ITALIAN FOOD I HAD EATEN IN THE PAST 31 MONTHS....WELL, I WAS GOING FOR A RECORD!...

THEN IN THE EVENING, WE LAID ON THE BED, WITH PRINCE AND THE 2 CATS, AND WATCHED "SHREK 2," ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES, ON HBO..........JIMMY JUST LOVED IT, AND WAS IMPRESSED WITH THE ANIMATION.......AS WE LAY ACROSS THE BED, PRINCE WAS HUGGING MISTY WITH HIS PAWS, AND THEN, MISTY WAS LICKING PRINCE.....WE HAVE A VERY LOVING HOUSEHOLD!

AROUND MIDNIGHT, JIMMY MADE FRIED EGGS, AND CROISSANTS WITH MELTED CHEESE....DELICIOUS!....HE EVEN SERVED ME IN BED.....ALLWAS WONDERFUL...HOWEVER, AROUNF THAT TIME HE SAID HE WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE AT 8AM IN THE MORNING....I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE STAYING HERE UNTIL 5PM...BUT I GUESS NOT........

SO, HE TOOK THE TAXI AT 8AM...AND PRINCE AND I WATCHED OUT THE WINDOW.....THEN WE LAID BACK DOWN, AND AS USUAL, I JUST SLEPT....

WHEN THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO IN YOUR HEART AND SOUL, WELL, THE BEST PLACE TO GO, IS TO SLEEP...........AND SO, JIMMY CALLED ME SEVERAL TIMES THROUGH-OUT THE DAY, AND I WAS ALWAYS SLEEPING...HE WENT TO WORK...AND ONE TIME HE CALLED ME AND SAID, "I FEEL LIKE AN EMPTY EGG, WITH THE YOLK DRAINED OUT."   (that is, he felt like an empty shell).

AND SO, WE PROCEED INTO THE  COLD, AND SNOW, AND ICY RAIN, AND COLD WINDS, AND DARK DAYS, AND SHORT DAYS, AND DARKNESS AND GLOOM.....THE LONLINESS OF THIS HOUSE IS BECOMING OVERWHELMIN TO ME...JIMMY'S PRESENCE FOR 20 HOURS FILLS IT UP, BUT THEN AGAIN, IT IS LONLIER AND COLDER THAN EVER.............OH WHEN WILL THIS TORTURE END, I ASK MYSELF...............

I AM IN A STRANGE PLACE, HARD TO UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN HERE............

I DON'T KNOW WHY I HAVEBECOME THIS WAY LATELY..........IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE TAKEN PART OF ME, THAT LIVES DEEP DOWN INSIDE OF ME, AND LOCKED HER AWAY.............I LOCKED HER DEEP DOWN INSIDE OF ME.........MAYBE SHE WILL IMMERGE ONE DAY, STRONGER AND BETTER, BUT AS FOR NOE, I JUST CAN'T HELP IT..........JIMMY TRIES TO TALK TO ME, AND UNDERSTAND ME...........IT IS MAYBE THE FIRST TIME, I JUST CAN'T LET HIM UNDERSTAND ME.....AND HE SEARCHES FOR THE RIGHT WORDS...HE USUALLY HAS THEM....BUT I'VE BECOME LOST IN MYSELF...IN NOTHINGNESS...I'M NOT SURE IF HE CAN HELP ME THIS TIME AROUND............"THE ME THAT NOBODY KNOWS."...IT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO FEEL...IT IS A BLAND, NOTHINGNESS FEELING...UNREACHABLE BY OTHERS............NOT UNDERSTOOD BY ANYONE...............A PLACE I LIKE TO GO, INSIDE OF ME, AND I LOCK MYSELF AWAY...FROM EVERYONE....NO EMOTIONS, NO FEELINGS.....JUST TO BE LEFT ALONE...........BECAUSE MY HEART BEATS, AND MY BRAIN FUNCTIONS.........AND SO I AM STILL ALIVE...........BUT, I WANT TO BE WHERE NO ONE CAN REACH ME...AND I FEEL SAD TO DO THIS TO A HUSBAND WHO IS SO WONDERFUL...WHO WORKS SO HARD...WHO WORKS TO ERRADICATE THE CRIME HE COMMITTED...IT MAKES ME FEEL SO SAD...THAT I LOCK MYSELF WITHIN MYSELF.........................I LIKE IT THAT WAY...NO ONE CAN REACH ME....KNOW ONE CAN KNOW ME..............AND THAT IS THE ONE THING I HAVE UP ON EVERYONE...THEY JUST DON'T KNOW ME, AND NEVER WILL............JIMMY IS THE ONLY ONE WHO I HAVE ALLOWED TO KNOW ME...AND IT IS AT TIMES LIKE THIS, THAT EVEN HE HAS A HARD TIME.......

AND SO, LET US NOW READ THE BEAUTIFUL COMMENTS FROM THE LAST ENTRY.......THANK YOU SO MUCH, FOR CARING AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SUCH WELL-THOUGHT COMMENTS.....

SUGAR SAYS, AMONST OTHER THINGS, " THE JUSTICE SYSTEM NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED...."

BETTY  (lv2rnscrb)...."THERE SHOULD BE A PROGRAM OR MINISTRY AVAILABLE FOR THE FAMILY MEMBERS OF THE INCARCERATED, TO GO TO SCHOOLS TO TALK TO KIDS AND TEENS, TO TELL THEM HOW TERRIBLE IT IS TO HAVE SOMEONE IN PRISON.  IT MAY HELP THEM AVOID LEADING A LIFE OF CRIME...."................YES BETTY, THABK YOU SO MUCH...THAT WOULD BE A WONDERFUL IDEA, AND WOULD HELP OTHERS.

THE GREATEST COMMENT WAS BY DEBBIE (DERASTA)....(ONE OF THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOUR JOURNAL IS THAT I GET TO REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE LOVED ONES WHO ARE LEFT BEHIND GO THROUGH....."................THANK YOU, DEBBIE, YOU SAID IT ALL.......

ONCE A SANE AND HAPPY PERSON, I'M NOW TRYING FOR THIS WHOLE PROCESS NOT TO EAT THROUGH ME, LIKE A POISON........IT IS NOW 31 MONTHS THAT JIMMY HAS BEEN WITHIN THE PRISON SYSTEM....WHEN I MARRIED HIM, HE THOUGHT IT WOULD ONLY BE 5 MONTHS, THEN HOUSE ARREST............WELL, HERE WE GO, ANOTHER WINTER AND HOLIDAY SEASON APPROACHING........I WISH THERE WAS A BUTTON TO SHUT THE HUMAN BODY OFF....I WOULD DO THAT, AND WAKE UP WHEN IT IS ALL OVER........

GOOD-NIGHT TO ALL....................FRAN

CRIMINALS TRAVELING AT NIGHT

JIMMY WON'T BE COMING HOME TODAY.  THE REASON IS, THAT AFTER HE FINISHES WORKING AT THE FOODSTORE, IT WILL BE AROUND 2 OR 3 PM, AND IT WILL TAKE HIM AT LEAST 5 OR MORE HOURS TO GET HERE BY BUS...THE POLICY OF KINTOCK IS THAT THE PERSON SHOULD ARRIVE HOME BEFORE IT GETS DARK...AND IT GETS DARK EARLY NOW....WELL, THAT IS A VERY GOOD POLICY, BECAUSE IT PROTECTS THE PUBLIC FROM CRIMINALS WHO WOULD OTHERWISE BE TRAVELING AROUND AT NIGHT............WOULD YOU WANT TO SIT NEXT TO A CRIMINAL ON A BUS AT NIGHT?.......I DON'T THINK MOST PEOPLE WOULD.  WELL, NEXT TIME YOU RIDE A BUS, JUST THINK WHO MAY BE A CRIMINAL THAT IS RIDING WITH YOU ON THAT BUS, OR EVEN NEXT TO YOU....I BET YOU NEVER , EVER, EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT.........

SO, I GOT UP EARLY TODAY, MOPPED ALL THE FLOORS, AND VACUUMED THE HOUSE.  I MADE SURE EVERYTHING WAS READY FOR JIMMY, BUT HE CALLED ME AROUND 11 AM AND SAID HE COULDN'T MAKE IT HERE ON TIME, BEFORE NIGHT-FALL, THAT IS.....SO HE SAYS, HE'LL COME HOME TOMORROW....BUT I'M NOT HOLDING MY BREATH............

IT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNAL NOT ONLY TO  BE INTERESTING AND ENTERTAINING, AND A PURGING OF MY SOUL AND THOUGHTS , BUT TO BE EDUCATIONAL TO THE PUBLIC , AS WELL......MANY OF MY FRIENDS I MADE THROUGH THIS JOURNAL ARE MARRIED WOMAN, WHO I SUPPOSE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES ON "BEHIND THE SCENES," OF SOMEONE WHOSE HUSBAND IS IN PRISON.  MANY ARE WOMAN WHO IDENTIFY WITH ME, AS THEY HAVE HUSBANDS, AND MEN IN PRISON....SOME ARE MOTHERS, OR SISTERS OF PRISONERS.  MANY WRITE AND TELL ME THEY READ THIS JOURNAL ON A RGEGULAR BASIS....MANY ARE THE "QUIET" WOMEN, WITH MEN IN PRISON, WHO ARE AFRAID TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT IN PUBLIC.  SO, I THANK YOU FOR STOPPING HERE TO READ WHAT I HAVE TO SAY....

AND NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS ANY PRISONER READING THIS, OR ANY MAN OR WOMAN WHO IS CONTEMPLATING COMMITTING A CRIME IN THE FUTURE.

IF YOU THINK LIFE IS A "BOWL OF CHERRIES,' AFTER YOU COMMIT A CRIME AND GO TO PRISON, YOU HAD BETTER THINK TWICE....JUST READ MY JOURNAL AND SEE WHAT IT IS LIKE....WHEN YOU DRAG YOURSELF, AND LOVED ONES THROUGH THE GRUELING PROCESS OF BEING IN PRISON....READ MY JOURNAL AND SEE WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE TWISTED AND TURNED, AND BROUGHT THROUGH THE 'PRISON JOURNEY."....NICE, ISN'T IT?..........IT IS ALMOST LIKE BEING A VEGETABLE....YES, A VEGTABLE WITH A BRAIN...BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES ARE HELPLESS, AND ONLY MADE TO SUFFER.....SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE...GROW UP.......YOU MAY BE ONLY 19 OR 20 COMMITTING THESE CRIMES, BUT SOON YOU WILL BE 50, OR 60...LIFE GOES FASTER , THE OLDER YOU GET...AND SOON YOU WILL LOOK BACK AND REGRET WHAT YOU'VE DONE...NOT ONLY TO YOURSELF, BUT TO OTHERS THAT LOVE YOU, AND OF COURSE TO THE PUBLIC......

......YOU WILL REGRET COMMITTING THAT CRIME, SOONER OR LATER..............THAT IS ONE REASON I WRITE THIS JOURNAL...SO YOU CAN SEE JUST WHAT IT IS LIKE FOR THE PERSON AT HOME THAT WAITS...............

IF I HAVE HELPED AND PREVENTED JUST ONE PERSON FROM COMMITTING A CRIME, THEN IT IS WELL WORTH MY TIME AND EFFORT WRITING THIS JOURNAL.............

"BREAKING NEWS"

JIMMY JUST CALLED, AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO COME HOME AT THE TIME HE EXPECTED , TOMORROW....AN ACCIDENT HAPPENED IN THE STORE, AT THE DELI COUNTER....ONE OF THE GIRLS WORKING THERE, ACCIDENTALLY SLICED HER FINGER, ON THE MEAT SLICER....SO, NOW THEY WANT JIMMY TO COME IN TOMORROW MORNING AND WORK PART OF THE DAY SHIFT  (MAYBE UNTIL AROUND 1 OR 2 PM)...........

JIMMY HOPES HE CAN GET AHOLD OF HIS COUNSELOR, SO IT CAN BE APPROVED....THAT HE WILL WORK THE DAY SHIFT, AND THEN COME HOME....PROBABLY ARRIVING HERE AT AROUND 6 OR 7 PM.

JIMMY HAS TO PUT IN THE PAPERWORK AT KINTOCK, AND HAVE IT APPROVED.....THIS HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT AWAY, TOMORROW MORNING....

WELL, THAT'S ANOTHER THING TO WORRY ABOUT....USING THE MEAT SLICER...HE WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO ME THAT THEY WEAR HEAVY GLOVES, AND IT IS EASY TO ACCIDENTALLY CUT YOURSELF....I ALWAYS TELL HIM TO BE VERY CAREFUL.

WELL....GUESS WE WON'T MAKE IT TO CHURCH TOMORROW.....I GUESS HE'LL BE IN TIME FOR "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES1"......ALSO. I WANT TO LET HIM WATCH THE "SEX EDUCATORS," A BRITISH SHOW ON HBO, WHICH IS EDUCATIONAL AND AMUSING TO WATCH, WHICH HAS NOW BEEN MOVED TO "HBO ON-DEMAND."

ON A FUNNIER NOTE....ANY

PLACE MY HUSBAND GOES ON HIS FURLOUGH, MUST BE APPROVED.  SO, PHONE NUMBERS, AMND ADDRESSES,  MUST BE PROVIDED ON THE PAPER HE FILLS OUT FOR APPROVAL.  THE COUNSELOR CALLS THOSE PLACES TO VERIFY THAT THEY REALLY EXIST, ETC........  SO JIMMY WENT TO HIS ROOM, TO GET HIS ADDRESS BOOK.  HIS ROOM WAS DARK AS USUAL, BECAUSE THE GUYS ARE ALWAYS SLEEPING....HE TOOK OUT THE WRONG NUMBER, ACCIDENTALLY, AND GAVE IT TO HIS COUNSELOR, WHO CALLED THE NUMBER.....THE PERSON WHO ANSWERED, WAS ROSIE...A WOMAN WHO IS ONE OF HIS FATHER'S GIRLFRIENDS.........POOR ROSIE!....SHE IS AROUND 85 YEARS OLD, (OR OLDER), AND PARTIALLY CONFUSED, BUT STILL VERY ACTIVE......AND THAT CALL REALLY MADE HER EVEN MORE CONFUSED!............SO, IT WAS ALL STRAIGHTENED OUT, AND JIMMY PROVIDED THE CORRECT PHONE NUMBER OF THE CHURCH..............

THE OTHER DAY, I WAS TALKING WITH JIMMY ABOUT ST. MAXIMILLIAN KOLBE.....JIMMY TOLD ME ABOUT HIS WHOLE LIFE....I WAS IMPRESSED, THAT HE RMEMBERED EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM........ST. MAXIMILLIAN IS ACTUALLY THE PATRON SAINT OF "PRISONERS.".........HE HIMSELF WAS IN PRISON............I GUESS MAYBE THAT IS WHY I WAS DRAWN TO HIM DURING THE FIRST YEARS OF JIMMY'S INCARCERATION..........AND I EVEN KEEP HIS PICTURE HANGING IN THE KITCHEN...........

...........BYE, AND HAVE A NICE DAY...........FRAN

...THE SAD, AND THE GLAD

HELLO EVERYONE!

ALONG WITH HAPPINESS IN LIFE, WE WILL FIND SADNESS, TOO...

TODAY, THE OWNER OF THE FOODSTORE CHAIN IN WHICH MY HUSBAND IS EMPLOYED, PASSED AWAY.  HE WAS ONLY 42 YEARS OLD, AND HAD CANCER....HE LEAVES A WIDOW..............EVERYONE IN JIMMY'S STORE IS KIND OF IN SHOCK, THAT THIS YOUNG MAN DIED...JUST LIKE THAT......HE OWNS SEVERAL OF THE IGA FOODSTORES.  JIMMY SPOKE TO ME A LITTLE WHILE AGO, AND SAID MR. P PUT UP SIGNS IN ALL THE STORES TO ANNOUNCE THIS MAN'S PASSING AWAY........MY HUSBAND WAS QUITE UPSET ABOUT THIS MAN'S DEATH.....(HE TOLD ME HOW THE YOUNGER EMPLOYEES ARE JOKING AND CARRYING ON, AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED, AND HE FEELS THEY SHOULD BE MORE RESPECTFUL ON THIS DAY).......THE SIGN READ SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT THAT THE STORE WILL CONTINUE RUNNING AND FUNCTIONING, DESPITE THE OWNERS DEATH....

ALSO, I MAY AS WELL TELL YOU ALL, AT THIS TIME, THAT MR. P, WAS SUDDENLY DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER, THIS PAST WEEK OR SO, AND WILL HAVE TO UNDERGO TESTS AND SURGRY IN THE COMING WEEKS...........WELL, JUST WHAT CAN I SAY...........I'M VERY SORRY TO HEAR ALL THIS NEWS..............

AND SO, I ASK ALL THOSE READING THIS JOURNAL TO SAY A SPECIAL PRAYER FOR MR. P, AND FOR THE OWNER OF THE STORE, TONIGHT BEFORE YOU FALL ASLEEP.  ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER THEIR WIVES AND LOVED ONES.....THANK YOU VERY MUCH.......

AND SO, ON ANOTHER NOTE..........JIMMY AND I ARE SO EXCITED BECAUSE HIS FURLOUGH HOME IS COMING UP.  HE TOLD ME THAT BY TOMORROW MORNING, IT WILL BE 48 HRS. TILL HE COMES HOME!...IS THAT ALL!...I'D BETTER HURRY AND GET THE HOUSE READY FOR HIM!

WE TALKED ABOUT THAT WE WILL GO TO THE CHURCH WE ARE MEMBERS OF....ST. MAXIMILLIAN KOLBE CHURCH.  I WANT TO BRING HIM TO A NEW GROTTO THAT OPENED AFTER HE WENT TO PRISON....IT IS FILLED WITH SHRINES OF SAINTS, AND HAS A LIFE SIZE STATUE OF ST. MAXIMILLAN (WHICH ODDLY ENOUGH IS BEHIND BARS).  THE FIRST YEAR THAT MY HUSBAND WAS IN PRISON, I WOULD GO THERE ALOT...I FOUND IT VERY SOOTHING.  I WOULD READ THE RED BRICKS ON THE FLOOR, WHICH WERE DEDICATED TO THE DECEASED...ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE, WE WOULD LIKE TO DEDICATE A STONE TO HIS MOTHER, AND MY MOTHER, WHO ARE DECEASED.......

SO, THAT'S ABOUT IT....MAINTAINING PEACE, BALANCE, AND HARMONY IN THE HOME.......LOVE FOR YOUR SPOUSE........AND CONTINUING ON IN LIFE...............LOVE, FRAN

furlough's home began once again,after 5 weeks

I'M BACK AGAIN WRITING IN THIS JOURNAL!  JIMMY CAME HOME, AND FIXED THIS SILLY COMPUTER...HE KEEPS CLEANING UP THE FILES, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, SINCE HE HAS BEEN GONE FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS, AND 7 MONTHS, AND NO ONE HAS 'CLEANED' THE COMPUTER.......!

SO, JIMMY ARRIVED HOME LAST SUNDAY, AT AROUND 1PM, AND WAS ABLE TO STAY UNTIL 5PM THE NEXT DAY!  THAT WAS MUCH MORE TIME THAN THE PREVIOUS FURLOUGHS.........WERE TOGETHER FOR 28 HOURS.

I JUST STARTED GETTING MYSELF TOGETHER TODAY, TUESDAY, AND WAS FEELING A LITTLE WEAK ALL DAY, SO I WAS RESTING IN BED MOST OF THE DAY..........MY HUSBAND IS LIKE A SHOT OF ENERGY WHEN HE COMES HERE...I'VE ALWAYS FELT HIS BURST OF ENERGY AROUND ME, SINCE I'VE KNOWN HIM...........HE GIVES ME STRENGTH, BUT LIKE TODAY, MY EQUILIBRIUM WAS OFF BALANCE!..............FUNNY THING IS, WE REALLY DIDN'T DO MUCH ON THIS FURLOUGH!........WE HAD PLANNED TO GO OUT TO A FEW PLACES, BUT NEVER MADE IT!.........WE JUST FELT LIKE STAYING SNUGGLED UP AT HOME, IN BED, MOST OF THE TIME.....SIMPLY PUT, WE ATE AND MADE LOVE, JUST ABOUT THE WHOLE TIME!.....OH YES, NOTHING LIKE A MAN WHO "WHISPERS SWEET NOTHINGS" IN A WOMAN'S EARS....FOREVER ON END....OVER AND OVER..............AND GIVES HER WONDERFUL MASSAGES, TO RELAX HER.  I'M TELLING YOU, IF THERE IS A MAN OUT THERE IN COMPUTER-LAND READING THIS, YOU CAN CERTAINLY TAKE LESSONS FROM JIMMY.  HE IS THE BEST!....AND HE NEVER GETS TIRED OF IT!  HE KNOWS HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN.  AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT A WOMAN WANTS AND NEEDS, TO MAKE HER FEEL HAPPY AND LOVED. 

AND YES, I HAD COOKED SOME FOOD AHEAD OF TIME, SO WE WOULDN'T WASTE TIME COOKING!...........I MADE CURRIED CHICKEN, ROASTED CHICKEN THIGHS (IN CASE HE DIDN'YT LIKE THE CURRY), FRIED POTATOES, BROCOLLI, SALAD, SHELLS WITH BUTTER AND CHEESE...LATER , THERE WAS RIGATONI WITH MEAT SAUCE, CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA SUGAR FREE PUDDING, LEMON JELLO.........IN THE MORNING , JIMMY MADE FRIED EGGS, AND I MADE THE COFFEE.......FOR LUNCH WE HAD STEAK AND SALAD..............LOTS OF ICED TEA!.........AND APPLES, OF COURSE!

WE WATCHED TV TOGETHER, AND HE CAUGHT UP ON LARRY DAVID'S SHOWS, WHICH WE BOTH LOVE, AND HE GOT TO SEE "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES," FOR THE FIRST TIME.

WE BOTH GOT A GOOD-NIGHTS SLEEP, BUT WHEN JIMMY WOKE UP AT 6 AM, HE FOUND THE HOUSE BITTERLY COLD, AS I HAD THE AIR-CONDITIONER ON, AND THE HOUSE TEMPERATURE WAS 61.6 DEGREES, AND I HAD THE BIG FAN IN THE BEDROOM BLOWING ON US..........WE HAD A VERY BIG LAUGH!......BUT I JUST CAN'T HELP IT!....I GET THOSE HOT FLASHES, AND NIGHT SWEATS, THAT YOU ALWAYS READ ABOUT!  WELL, IT'S TRUE!  IT REALLY HAPPENS TO WOMEN.....AND ALL OF THIS STARTED WHEN JIMMY HAS BEEN AWAWY FROM HOME!

THE ANIMALS ARE SO DIFFERENT WHEN JIMMY IS HOME...THEY ARE SO VERY HAPPY AND EXCITED...RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE, AFTER JIMMY!......EVERYTIME JIMMY MOVES, PRINCE RUNS AFTER HIM, THINKING IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER WALK.  HE GETS LOTS OF WALKS WHEN JIMMY IS HOME, WHICH HE DOESN'T GET WITH ME, BECAUSE HE IS TOO STRONG FOR ME, AND PULLS ME AROUND...AND AS FOR MISTY, THE CAT, SHE SAT ON TOP OF JIMMY'S CHEST ALL NIGHT.......WE HAD TO PUSH HER AWAY, SO JIMMY COULD HOLD ME IN HIS ARMS ALL NIGHT, BUT SOMEHOW, MISTY WOULD STICK HERSELF IN BETWEEN US.....MISTY ALWAYS NEEDS A LOT OF LOVE AND ATTENTION........SHE IS VERY JEALOUS OF ME, THAT I LAY IN JIMMY'S ARMS.  THEN, THERE WAS A NOISE IN THE HOUSE, AND MISTY GOT SCARED AND RAN OFF HIS CHEST....JIMMY HAS A SCRATCH AROUND 2- 3 INCHES LONG ON HIS CHEST.  WHEN HE GOT BACK TO KINTOCK, SOME OF THE GUYS SAW IT, AS HE WAS TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT.  THEY JOKED WITH HIM, THAT I SCRATCHED HIM!....TRUTHFULLY, I DIDN'T!....IT WAS MISTY THE CAT!.......ACTUALLY, JIMMY CUT MY FINGERNAILS, AND TOENAILS, SO I WOULDN'T SCRATCH HIM!

I MUST NOT LEAVE OUT JIMBO, JIMMY'S FAVORITE LITTLE CAT WITH THE CUTE FACE.  JIMBO IS THE ONE WHO SITS ALOOF, UNTIL HE IS READY FOR LOVE....THEN HE WILL APPROACH YOU....AND JIMMY IS FOREVER HOLDING JIMBO, HIS NAMESAKE, AND GIVING HIM LOTS OF LOVE.......

SO THAT'S ABOUT IT!  JIMMY WAS IMPRESSED WITH THE HOUSEHOLD...THAT ALL WAS SPOTLESS, AND IN ORDER.  WELL, I SAID, "I'M HERE ALL DAY, EVERYDAY, TO KEEP OUR HOUSEHOLD IN ORDER."  I TOLD HIM HOW I WASH THE KITCHEN FLOOR, AND 2 BATHROOM FLOORS EVERYDAY WITH LYSOL ...HOW I SWEEP, AND VACUUM ALMOST EVERYDAY.......THAT IS MY JOB AT THIS TIME IN LIFE...AND WITH 3 ANIMALS, ONE MUST FOREVER KEEP AFTER THEM..........JIMMY WAS ALSO HAPPY I HAD PUT UP SOME HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS, AND HE WORE THE WHITE MASK FOR ME (HE SAID IT IS THE MASK WORN IN THE MOVIE "HALLOWEEN")...............AS FOR JIMMY, HE CLEANED AND WASHED THE CEMENT ON THE PATIO, AS THERE WAS MOLD GROWING WITH THE RECENT RAIN STORMS AND FLOODING.  HE ALSO FIXED THE FRONT SCREEN DOOR, WHICH WAS HALF BROKEN AND STUCK.  HE CLEANED THE INSIDE OF THE CAR, AND OF COURSE, WORKED ON THIS COMPUTER TO CLEAN IT UP....

WE ARE HAPPY NOW, AS EVERYTHING SEEMS MORE BALANCED IN OUR LIVES AT THIS POINT.  HIS JOB AT THE DELI IS GOING VERY WELL...HE NOW SEEMS TO HAVE REGULAR DAYS OFF...EVERY SUNDAY AND MONDAY OFF...SO HE WORKS 5 DAYS STRAIGHT, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, AND COMES HOME ON SUNDAY AND MONDAY, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, AND A NORMAL LIFE......

WE ARE HAPPY BECAUSE HIS JOB IS A FEW MINUTES FROM KINTOCK, AND HE DOESN'T SPEND ALL DAY TRAVELING ON A BUS..........AT LEAST I AM HAPPY, AS HIS WIFE.......AND HE SAYS THIS IS MUCH BETTER NOW, BECAUSE THAT 5 HOUR BUS TRIP WAS GETTING TO BE TOO MUCH.......AND THE PEOPLE HE WORKS WITH ARE ALL VERY NICE AND HE ENJOYS THE CUSTOMERS, TOO.  SO EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW SEEMS ORDERLY, CALM, AND IN IT'S PLACE...........NEXT SUNDAY, WHEN HE GETS HOME, WE ARE HOPING TO GO TO CHURCH.  WE WERE ALWAYS USED TO ATTENDING CHURCH TOGETHER, AND IT IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF OUR LIVES....IT ALSO MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE PART OF A COMMUNITY.

JIMMY SAYS AS THE TIME GOES ON, HE WILL TAKE ME OUT OF THE HOUSE, AND GO A FEW PLACES.  I TOLD HIM, I REALLY DON'T LIKE GOING OUT ANYMORE...I FEEL SAFE AND SECURE WITHIN MY HOUSE, AND WITH MY PETS...HE SAID, HE UNDERSTANDS, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN CONFINED WITHIN THE HOUSE FOR OVER 2 1/2 YEARS NOW...HE SAID, I'LL START TO CHANGE BACK TO MY OLD SELF AGAIN...BUT , I JUST DON'T KNOW.......IT SEEMS VERY SCARY TO GO OUT AND BE WITH PEOPLE, IN PUBLIC........I DO MAKE MY TRIPS TO THE LOCAL FOODSTORE, BUT THAT IS ABOUT IT....I'M OK IN A KNOWN ENVIRONMENT.........BUT I GET A PANICKY FEELING TO EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING OUT ANYWHERE.....I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO.  MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I'LL BE OK, WITH HIM BY MY SIDE.  I GUESS I HAVE BECOME A BITE OF AN AGORAPHOBIC...WELL, WE'LL SEE..........

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!............Fran

ps.......jimmy has already started counting how many hours till  he comes home next sunday.......last nite, on the phone, he told me it was something like 99 hours untilwe meet again........for me, it's too much calculation!.......all you need to do, is ask jimmy at any given time, "how many more hours until you are home with fran?", and he will have the answer in the top of his head.....my husband is really too much!