Monday, August 7, 2006

our thoughts

I SPOKE WITH JIMMY A LITTLE WHILE AGO, AND DISCUSSED THIS JOURNAL WITH HIM.  SO, HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR THOUGHTS.

BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED, WHICH WAS 5 YEARS AGO, JIMMY AND I WERE  "KENNEDY LIBERALS."   BUT NOW, AFTER SPENDING ALMOST 4 YEARS IN PRISON, JIMMY AND I HAVE GONE FROM BEING "LIBERALS,"  TO "CONSERVATIVES. "

JIMMY FEELS NOW THAT AFTER THINKING ABOUT LIFE, AND ANALYZING THINGS, THE "WAY TO GO,".............ACTUALLY THE "CORRECT WAY TO GO,'".......IN THIS COUNTRY, AND GLOBALLY FOR THAT MATTER, IS TO BE A CONSERVATIVE.  HE FEELS THAT PEOPLE , SUCH AS POLICE OFFICERS, PRISON GUARDS, AND THOSE IN AUTHORITY ...............THEY ARE THE RIGHT WAY.

AS MANY OF YOU MAY KNOW, MY HUSBAND WAS ONCE AN ATTORNEY, SO AS YOU CAN SEE, HE ALWAYS ANALYZES THINGS VERY CAREFULLY.

LET ME EXPLAIN. 

HE FEELS THAT SOMETHING LIKE 99%  OF THE LIBERAL POPULATION IS REALLY NOT ACCEPTED BY OUR COUNTRY. 

JIMMY IS A MANAGER AT A FOODSTORE, HERE IN NEW JERSEY.  HE TELLS ME THAT MEN IN PRISON COME UP TO HIM AND ASK HIM TO TRY AND GET THEM A JOB ..................WELL, SURPRISINGLY, 99%  OF THOSE MEN, WHO ARE SEEKING WORK, NEVER EVEN FOLLOW THROUGH WITH AN APPLICATION.  THE OTHER 1% ARE ALWAYS ASKING HIM FOR MONEY.

JIMMY AND I HAVE NEVER WALKED PAST A HOMELESS MAN WITHOUT GIVING HIM MONEY, OR BUYING HIM A SANDWHICH............................

WHEN JIMMY TRAVELS BACK TO VOA FROM HIS JOB, HOMELESS MEN APPROACH HIM  AND ASK FOR MONEY.  HE ALWAYS GIVES TO THEM.  LATER, WHEMN HE TALKS TO ME ON THE PHONE HE SAYS,  "HONEY, THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE I SPEND TIME IN PRISON WITH.  AND HERE THEY ARE, RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY STARTED FROM."

WHEN I ASKED HIM, JIMMY SAID, "YES, MANY OF THE MEN IN PRISON ARE CRAZY."    HIS OWN BUNKIE , IN CRAF,  WAS ON HEAVY PSYCH MEDS, AND WAS A CHILD MOLESTER.  HE TALKED TO HIMSELF ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT, AND WAS RIGHT ABOVE JIMMY, IN A BUNK,  IN A 9FT. BY 8 FT. CELL.  THE OTHER GUYS WOULD ASK JIMMY HOW HE COULD STAND IT, BUT JIMMY IS ABLE TO GET THROUGH ANYTHING IN LIFE. 

MY ANSWER TO JIMMY WAS,  'THEY MAY BE CRAZY, BUT THEY ARE SMART ENOUGH TO DO CRIMES TO GET LOCKED UP AGAIN, AND NOT LIVE OUT ON THE STREETS, AND NOT CLEAN THEMSELVES UP, AND LIVE A DECENT LIFE."......................THOSE THAT ARE DIAGNOSED WITH PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS ARE PUT IN INSTITUTIONS FOR THE MENTALLY ILL.  ....................SO, WHEN THE COMMENTOR SAID, THE EXCUSE IS THAT THEY RETURN TO THE STREETS BECAUSE THEY ARE CRAZY,...WELL, THAT ANSWER IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME...................AND I WORKED WITH STREET PEOPLE FOR 16 YEARS IN NEW YORK.

ALSO, IN INDIA, PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN INTO POVERTY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LIVE ON THE STREET, FROM BIRTH..................BEGGARS....LIVING IN HUTS. ..............CHILDREN THAT BEG, EVERYDAY ON THE STREET.............. THERE IS NO SOCIAL SYSTEM TO HELP THEM OUT, AS WE HAVE HERE IN AMERICA..................NO SOUP KITCHENS, AND NO FOOD STAMPS........

JIMMY WOULD ALSO LIKE TO GIVE HIS POINT OF VIEW ON ANOTHER SUBJECT.  JIMMY HAS SEEN IN PRISON, FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHS, MEN WHO HAVE 4 OR 5 WOMEN VISITING THEM.  MOST OF THESE MEN ARE UNMARRIED, AND HAVE MANY CHILDREN WITH EACH WOMAN.  THESE MEN ARE PROUD TO BE DOING THIS.  THEY WANT THESE WOMEN, WHO ARE 'THE GIRLFRIEND,' TO BUY THEM THINGS, AND SEND THEM MONEY......MOST OF THESE LOCKED UP GUYS HAVE TV'S RADIOS, ETC.....YOU NAME IT, THEY HAVE IT..............LOTS OF MONEY SENT TO THEM BY THESE WOMEN.  THESE WOMEN, WHO CALL THEMSELVES THE MAN'S "WIFE,' BUT ARE ACTUALLY NOT MARRIED, AND UNAWRE THAT THE MAN HAS MANY OTHER GIRLFRIENDS. 

MY HUSBAND FEELS SAD THAT THESE WOMEN ARE BEING ABUSED AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY THESE MEN.  MANY OF THESE ARE HEAVY-SET WOMEN, WHO HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO CATER TO THESE PRISONERS, WHO LEAD THEM ON FOR YEARS.  ....

NOW, JIMMY IS NOT SAYING THIS IS THE CASE FOR EVERYONE, BUT IT IS FOR SOME.

I MET MY HUSBAND BEFORE HE WENT TO PRISON.  WE MET A LITTLE WHILE AFTER HE COMMITED HIS CRIME.  WE WE LIVING TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE FOR 2 YEARS, BEFORE HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO PRISON.........................

ALSO, I MADE A MISTAKE.....IT COSTS JIMMY  $11.00 per day, TO AND FROM WORK.  HIS JOB IS 3 HOURS , TO AND FROM WORK.  THE OTHER GUYS COULD GET A JOB CLOSE BY, IF THEY WANTED.  MEN IN THE OTHER HALF-WAY HOUSE THAT JIMMY WAS IN EARLIER, HAD JOBS IN FACTORIES, AND SOME DID THINGS LIKE "PICK FEATHERS OFF THE CHICKENS," FOR CHICKEN COMPANIES.................THOSE MEN ALSO HAD PROSTITUTES COMING TO THE FACTORY, AND HAVING SEX WITH THEM IN THE YARD BEHIND THE FACTORY................

ANOTHER COMMENT MENTIONED MEN ARE BEAT UP IF THEY ARE CAUGHT WITH DRUGS, ETC....YES, THEY ARE.  THE MEN GET ANGRY WHEN ONE PERSON IN THE GROUP DOES WRONG THINGS, AND THEN THEY 'TAKE CARE OF THAT GUY."

.....AND AS FAR AS ME BEING A "SELF-RIGHTOUS PERSON," WELL THAT IS, IN A WAY,IN A WAY  A GOOD THING TO BE.  IT IS BETTER THAN BEING IN A STATE OF DEPRESSION, AND HATING YOURSELF .................AND BEING IN A DEEP DEPRESSION FOR 3 YEARS....................A SHUNNED, STIGMATIZED WOMAN............STIGMATIZES BY HER OWN SOCIETY...............THAT IS A TERRIBLE THING..............AND MOSY WOMEN OUT THERE, ARE SCARED, PRISON WIVES.  THEY SHY AWAY FROM SOCIETY.  THEY ARE FRIGHTENED.  THEY ARE HIDING THEMSELVES IN THE HOUSE.....................YOU, OUT THERE...YOU KNOW IT, IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU!.............."THIS THING CALLED PRISON!"

DON'T BE AFRAID!.................COME OUT AND SPEAK YOUR MIND..................TALK ABOUT THE PRISON SYSTEM IN OUR COUNTRY!

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN OPTIMISTIC PERSON IN MY LIFE, AND NO ONE, NOT ANYONE, WILL EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME...........................EVEN THOUGH I MAY BE A PRISONER'S WIFE.

................"AND WE ALWAYS REACH FOR THE HIGHEST STAR!"

........................FRAN AND JIMMY

 

9 comments:

nolefan38 said...

It would seem you are pretty upset about Jimmy not being able to come home because of the other inmates bad behavior, you sound as if you are asking for negative feedback concerning our prison systems...... Here in Fl. our correctional officers are considered " OFFICERS" not guards, I would have thought with Jimmy being so smart and fair he would Know the difference, and taught you the difference also. It is not our fault as in free people that Jimmy is where he is right now, nor would we be having this conversation if he did not commit a crime. I hope all his problems get worked out soon because with the attitude you seem to have and I  think you take your cue from Jimmy, he will still have problems if and when he gets out. No one owes the other anything, and as far as my tax dollars being spent to support inmates that break the law and go to prison, I think the inmates should have to pay for, food, meds, shelter, and everything eles the tax dollars of ours do  that support your husband and many other inmates.

piperacharmed1 said...

I am not sure where you were going with the comment about heavy women...I am an overweight woman...and it seems as if you are implying that my only choice for a man would be a prisoner who I would "cater" to because I had to. Just for the record...my boyfriend of 15 years has never even been to jail. See...we fat women do have choices. I chose a man who doesn't commit illegal acts.  And the majority of homeless people in my area are suffering from mental illness. There have been many articles in our paper about the problem. As far as being stigmatized....I couldn't give a flying F*** if your husband is in prison. That has no bearing on who you are. I really doubt your attempts to get the American public to show concern for prisoners is going to get very far...the majority believe that they did the crime..they do the time. I won't comment again....you read into comments what you want to suit your purposes. I have seen you do it with several readers. Perhaps deep down you have a sense of shame over your circumstances and choose to lash out at others to feel better about yourself. I wish you both well.

cutebutpsycho028 said...

In your "crusade" to put out the word about prison systems, you seem to be making offensive, ignorant remarks about others in just about every entry recently. Even though people have spoken up about these comments you've made, you seem to ignore them and go on and on about "the state of the world". Your comment about  heavy set women is another one of your ignorant comments.
As far as everything else you're saying... 99% of the liberal population isn't accepted by whom?? And why is it that he thinks it's important to be accepted based upon political beliefs? Just wondering.
I don't think the person who commented said "crazy", I think she said that they may have a mental illness, which doesn't necessarily mean "crazy". And do you think that every person who goes through the prison system gets the help they need? The system is far from perfect and many slip through the cracks.
FYI, thinking you're better than others is in no way, shape or form a "good thing to be". If you think so then you're more out of touch with reality than I thought. And you made another ignorant comment: Being depressed is NOT a choice, but being an arrogant, self-righteous person IS. I don't know why you seem to think you're some kind of martyr, but there are many stigmatizms... including those that come with depression and other mental illnesses, and also with being "heavy set".
No one is trying to take away your optimism, but you need to be more careful with your words, they can be powerful things. I also think that you define yourself by the "prison wife" status... aren't you more than that?
As always, just my humble opinion.

sugar1337 said...

I won't comment on your entry expect on two points.   I know lots of heavy set women as you label them that would never date a criminal or a prisoner.  Not all heavy women are weak-willed and so desperate to get a guy as to lower themselves as to dating prisoners.  It is one thing for a woman to fall in love with a man that gets himself into trouble and ends up in prison and the like, but to think that the only reason that these women are staying is because they aren't what everyone would call pretty is quite another.  All these girlfriends might actually think that they love the guy that they are being duped by.    Also most people in the prison system suffer from some type of undiagnosed mental illness and don't get to go to institutions and get help for they didn't have good lawyers or all the institutions are already filled up...I have taken many a course that has addressed the subject and that is a major problem for society isn't aware that those being released needed treatment and probably will never have the opportunity to get it.  
http://blog.myspace.com/poptartcoco

pengboo said...

I have been a reader of your journal for quite a while.  I have never judged you for your decision to stand by your criminal husband.  But today you crossed the line.  I am a heavy set woman....but a woman that has been married for 16 years.  Is my husband a criminal...No......is my husband heavy set....No.....did my husband see my inner beauty and decide to spend the rest of his life with me...YES!  Don't put stereotypes on people by appearance.  If I remember correctly, isn't your Jimmy heavy set himself?  You truly surprised me with your words this time....and not in a good way either!!!

loverobin32 said...

It sounds like you got hit pretty hard with comments over this entry. I may not agree with everything you or anyone says, but you have every right to say it. Shoot after all that is why my hubby serves in the Military, to give you that right. Sure at times I would stop reading your journal for long periods of time because I felt you was being self rightous, but didnt mean I look at you in any other way than a fellow sister in this wonderful world of sisterhood. I am a liberal, and never felt that I wasnt excepted for that. As far as the other immates wanting jobs,,,you can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink. As far as women wanting men in prison, these women are not stupid, they have brains and know the relationship isnt one that they have control over actually. You know that all too well yourself. Doesnt matter what size they are. Not sure how being "self rightous" is connected to depression, but I guess you was trying to make a point somehow there. Robin

buffy591362 said...

i dont read your journal or any other journal for that matter but my mother does. and she told me a few things that were on here and i just had a few things to say about them:

1. just because a person is heavy or fat or big boned does NOT mean that he or she is a bad person so do not put some one down because of that.

2. your husband is in prison. congratulations for dealing with it as well as you have. but dont make hims out to be a god or a saint because he has seen the errors of his ways. hes there for a reason and deserves to do the time. most employers wont care that he is sorry he still wont get a job with them if they think he is a problem or are just "uncomfortable" with his past. not your fault thats his!!!

3. to be an "optimist" is not to be an excuse for your stupidity. just because he doesnt accept liberals doesnt mean that "99 %" of the country feels the same way. actually much of this country is liberal and you would know that if you read and paid attention to the polls! (which i do for my own personal enjoyment!!!) i feel it is better to be informed before you judge and i am when i say that you have a very TWISTED view on life and your husbands incarceration.

4. many homeless people have no other choice but to be put in prison to have 3 meals a day and a warm bed to sleep in. and many of them are clinically ill and have not been diagnosed


so thats just my opinion and i feel i have made the right choice in letting you know this
and if you plan on mentioning me in your next entry i dont care i think alot of people agree
remember


OPTIMISM IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR STUPIDITY!!!

lanurseprn said...

I've been reading your journal for awhile now. I don't comment much. But, I gotta say...I'm a heavy-set woman and there's no way I'd be involved with someone in prison because that's all I thought I could get.  Perhaps what you should have said is that these are women with very low self esteem issues that feel that all they can get are prisoners.  Being heavy does NOT mean a woman has a low self esteem.  Believe me!
I hope things go well for you and Jimmy once he gets out.  It'll be different once he's out.  
Pamela

mrsbright5905 said...

I have read a couple of comments and I do not agree with any of it. First of all I am marriage to my husband and he is in prison ,and I was with my husband before he went to prison and I am heavy set, and I do not have a low self esteem, and neither does the ladies I have met their . These are woman of god, and all are business women, so be careful with your comments. And another thing their  is lot of women supporting their husband or love one in prison, and that is a good thing. WE have started a support group for all the ladies every where, and if you want to be education on us and what we do, please email me mrsbright5905@aol.com. Because this is not a easy thing, and while you bragging about what you got, and put judge on these ladies. God do not  like people not being nice. You know I use to have the same frame mind as you, then my home with my husband owning his own business ,and me well off with me and my kids ;it all came rolling away . So be mind full that we are all god children, and no matter if your husband home or in prison, god still say love him for better of worse. So if you didn't understand you wows, i am very sorry for you. Love mrsblackett