HOME TODAY

JIMMY CAME HOME TODAY, THURSDAY, AND HE ALSO CAME HOME LAST TUESDAY.  TODAY WAS HIS 22ND TIME HOME, FOR HIS 12 HOUR VISIT............

JIMMY WILL COME HOME FOR GOOD IN 17 MORE DAYS......IT IS QUICKLY WITTLING DOWN, AT THIS TIME.  WE ARE BOTH EXCITED RIGHT NOW.....

JIMMY KEEPS VERY BUSY WHEN HE COMES HOME...I THINK IT HELPS TO PASS THE TIME EVEN QUICKER FOR THE 2 OF US.............

TODAY, AND EVERY VISIT HOME, HE CLEANED THE HOUSE FOR SEVERAL HOURS AND COOKED....

TODAY HE CLEANED AND CLEANED, AND CLEANED..........EVERYTIME HE COMES HOME, HE CLEANS THE FLOORS, AND CARPETS.....HE WASHES THE CLOTHES AND BEDSHEETS AND COMFORTERS......

THE 12 HOUR VISIT REALLY GOES WAY TOO FAST. IN ONE WAY, IT IS BETTER FOR IT TO PASS QUICKLY, SO HE WILL RETURN HOME SOON.

W GO OUT IN THE MORNING, AND DO SOME SHOPPING.  THEN WE ARE HOME AROUND 12 NOON, AND DO THINGS IN THE HOUSE...................WE LAY DOWN AROUND 2 OR 3 PM.....WATCH A LITTLE TV.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR JIMMY TO COME HOME FOR GOOD.  JIMMY IS A VERY ACTIVE MAN.  YOU MAY SAY, I AM THE ONE PERSON TO CALM HIM DOWN A LITTLE....THAT IS, WITH ME, HE IS MORE SETTLED DOWN, AS A HUSBAND......WE WILL THEN ENJOY GOING OUT TO A MOVIE, OR SOMEWHERE ELSE.............WE WILL FEEL CALM BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT AT NIGHT, AT THE END OF EACH DAY, WE WILL GO TO BED TOGETHER.  THEN, WE WILL RISE AGAIN IN THE MORNING, AND START A NEW DAY.

I CAN'T KID YOU......I AM A LITTLE ANXIOUS FOR HIM TO BE HOME FOR GOOD......BUT WE ARE STRONG PEOPLE, AND ARE HANDLING IT WELL,,,,,,,,,,,,WE SET OUR MINDS TO IT..............THAT IS, WE THINK IT IN OUR MINDS THAT WE MUST DO EACH 12 HOUR FURLOUGH, AND WE DO IT USUALLY TWICE A WEEK.

ON THE FURLOUGH, JIMMY CALLS VOA AT THE DESIGNATED TIMES THAT HE MUST CALL.................AFTER DOING IT 22 TIMES, WE HAVE GOTTEN USED TO IT................

YES, 17 MORE DAYS.............WE WILL NOW BE IN SEPTEMBER.............

LABOR DAY IS HERE, AND THE END OF SUMMER..............THE SEASONS START TO CHANGE.............PEOPLE CHANGE.............WEATHER CHANGES.............IT GETS DARK EARLIER....................EVERYTHING CHANGES, NATURALLY.  AND NOW, JIMMY WILL SOON BE HOME, FOR GOOD, AFTER 3. 6 YEARS.

THE GUYS AT VOA TELL JIMMY, "GEE, YOU HAVE BEEN IN PRISON A PRETTY LONG TIME."  MOST HAVE BEEN IN PRISON FOR SHORT PERIODS OF TIME.  IT IS HARD FOR THEM TO IMAGINE 3.6 YEARS.

AND THEY CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THAT ME, HIS WIFE, STAYED DEVOTED AND DEDICATED TO MY HUSBAND FOR ALL THOSE YEARS......

MAY I SAY, TO ALL THOSE PRISONER'S WIVES STARTING OUT , PLEASE KNOW, THAT "YOU TOO CAN DO IT1"......JUST AS I DID.................

MOSTLY, YOU MUST NOT THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT, MINUTE BY MINUTE.............JUST LET THE TIME PASS.......

FOR ME, I LET THE TIME PASS, BY BECOMING VERY IN-TUNED WITH NATURE...............I WATCHED AS NATURE CHANGED....THE SKY, THE LEAVES, ETC........AND THEN I KNEW THAT TIME WAS PASSING ON.

TIME AUTOMATICALLY PASSES IN LIFE...........

FOR MYSELF, AFTER 1 YEAR OF JIMMY'S INCARCERATION, I STARTED WRITING A LOT............AND THAT WRITING BECAME OART OF ME, AND VERY IMPORTANT..............MY THOUGHTS BECAME MY WORDS.......................MY WORDS WERE PUT ON PAPER.................AND SO, I SOMEHOW KEPT MYSELF BUSY.

AND NOW, WE ARE IN THE FINAL STAGES OF JIMMY'S JOURNEY THROUGH PRISON AND HALF-WAY HOUSES.......

17 MORE DAYS TO GO..........

I WILL ALWAYS KEEP WRITING THIS JOURNAL, AS IT HAS BECOME SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF ME................YES, I WILL PROBABLY WRITE ABOUT, "LIFE AFTER PRISON.".............WE WILL SEE.

AND SO, I'LL SAY GOOD-NITE, FOR NOW...................FRAN

 

FRIDAY THOUGHTS

JIMMY CAME HOME, ONCE AGAIN, YESTERDAY , AND IT WAS GREAT, AS ALWAYS!  IT WAS AROUND HIS 20TH TIME HOME.

I FIGURE OUT HE SHOULD COME HOME AROUND 7 MORE TIMES, AND THEN COME HOME FOR GOOD, SEPT. 19, 2006

LIFE IS ABOUT COUNTING THINGS, AND LOOKING FORWARD TO THINGS.

PEOPLE TELL ME THAT  "TIME MUST BE MOVING SLOWLY RIGHT NOW, FOR YOU."    BUT IT REALLY ISN'T.  JIMMY AND I ARE ALWAYS BUSY DOING THINGS, AND KEEPING THINGS PLANNED, AND ORGANIZED.

SEEING EACH OTHER TWICE A WEEK REALLY HELPS.  WE LOVE BEING WITH EACH OTHER, AND DOING SO MANY THINGS...................AND TALKING ALL THE TIME.

I TOLD HIM TODAY, "YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I CAN CONFIDE IN."  

AND THAT IS REALLY HOW IT IS.  I MAY TALK TO MANY PEOPLE, BUT JIMMY IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT "KNOWS THE TRUE FRAN."

JIMMY ANSWERED ME, BY SAYING,  "THAT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE BETWEEN A MARRIED COUPLE."  HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD BE EACH OTHER'S CONFIDANTS.

I KNOW HIM, AND HE KNOWS ME, AND THAT IS HOW IT IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE..............AND IT SHOULD BE THAT WAY BETWEEN 2 PEOPLE WHO ARE MARRIED.

PEOPLE MAY SEE YOUR PUBLIC FACE, WHEN YOU ARE OUT IN THE OPEN, BUT IT IS YOUR SPOUSE THAT KNOWS AND UNDERSTANDS THE TRUE YOU.

JIMMY KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT ME.................EVEN THE INNER ME.  HE STUDIED ME ALL THESE 5. 4 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

HE EVEN TELLS ME, THAT HE STUDIES EVERYTHING ABOUT ME.  IN SOME WAYS, JIMMY IS LIKE A PSYCHOLOGIST TO ME.....................AND, I STUDY HIM SO THEREFORE I AM HIS PSYCHOLOGIST!

I HAVE A LOT OF VERY DEEP PARTS WITHIN ME.............SO IT IS JIMMY'S PLEASURE TO STUDY ME!

AND HE KNOWS IT ALL..HE KNOWS ME, BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF.

YESTERDAY, JIMMY COOKED TORTOLINI WITH MEAT SAUCE, AND I HAD A ROASTED CHICKEN WITH SALAD.....HE BROUGHT ME LOTS OF FRESH FRUIT, WHICH I LOVE THIS SUMMER................PEACHES, MELON, STRAWBERRIES, GRAPES,APLLES........

HE BROUGHT ME FOR A ROUTINE DOCTOR VISIT............SHE ONCE AGAIN FOUND LOTS OF PROBLEMS WITHIN MY BLOODWORK.  BUT I CHEERFULLY LOOKED AT THE DOCTOE, AND SAID THE LABS MAY SHOW PROBLEMS, BUT I FEEL BETTER THAN EVER................I WAS THERE, SMILING............JIMMY AT MY SIDE, HOLDING MY HAND..........JIMMY SAYS MY COMPLEXION IS ROSY AND HEALTHY LOOKING...MY EYES ARE BRIGHT...........WE ARE ALWAYS TALKING AND LAUGHING.

SO NOW, BESIDES THE DIABETES WHICH I HAVE FOR 21 YEARS, ANYHOW..............AND IT DOESN'T REALLY BOTHER ME, BECAUSE I'M SO USED TO DEALING WITH IT...............I TEST MY BLOOD SO MANY TIMES A DAY................AND INJECT MYSELF WITH INSULIN TWICE A DAY...AND EVEN COVER MYSELF WITH INSULIN, FOR HIGH SUGARS.............MAYBE INJECTING MYSELF ANOTHER  3 OR 4 TIMES A DAY...DEPENDING........SO IT TOTALS 2 TO 6 TIMES A DAY, OF INJECTING MYSELF...........THEN, STICKING MY FINGER FOR TESTING 4 OR 6 OR MORE, TIMES PER DAY.................IT JUST DOESN'T BOTHER ME ANYMORE!

AND NOT HAVING PROPER EYESIGHT, BEING LEGALLY BLIND, DOESN'T REALLY BOTHER ME ANYMORE...............I GUESS, I JUST LEARN TO ACCEPT THINGS ALONG THE WAY OF LIFE............

YESTERDAY, I FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE HYPOTHYROIDISM.................SO, NOW I'M ON SYNTHROID, AND IT WILL BE ADJUSTED IN MY BODY....................TRUTHFULLY, I'M GLAD THEY FOUND THAT, AS I HAVE MOST OF THE SYMPTOMS, ANYWAY..............AND THAT SIMPLY EXPLAINS MY LOW METABOLISM, AND THE DIFFICULTY OF LOSING WIEGHT.............AS I ALWAYS SAY, IN THE 3.5 YEARS JIMMY HAS BEEN AWAY I SHOULD WEIGH AROUND 90 LBS., SINCE I HARDLY EVER ATE...............SO, THIS THYROID PROBLEM NOW EXPLAINS IT, AND THINGS WILL GET ADJUSTED....................I MEAN, IMAGINE GOING 3.5 YEARS WITH NEVER EATING OUT IN RESTAURANTS, NEVER EATING FAST FOOD...............HARDLY EATING AT HOME....NO SNACK FOOD.........NO SODA............WELL, IN THE FIRST 7 MONTHS OF JIMMY'S INCARCERATION , I DID LOSE 75 LBS................BUT AFTERWARDS, MY BODY CHANGED, AND I GUESS THE METABOLISM GOT LOWER, WITH THE LOW THYROID.

THEN THE DOCTOR ALSO FOUND OUT THAT I AM ONCE AGAIN  ANEMIC...............SHE IS RUNNING FURTHER TESTS ON ME.  2 YEARS AGO, WHEN I HAD THE TOE AMPUTATED, I HAD A HGB, OF 8.2  I WAS TRANSFUSED WITH 2 UNITS, AND IT REMAINED AT 8.  SO I WAS TRANSFUSED WITH ANOTHER 2 UNITS.  THEY SAID MY IMMUNE SYSTEM WAS STRIPPED FROM THE INTENSIVE ANTIBIOTICS I RECEIVED TO FIGHT THE BODY INFECTION.  THEN I WAS TOLD THAT MY BONE MARROW WAS NOT PRODUCING ENOUGH RED BLOOD CELLS.  SO I WAS GIVEN 3 INJECTIONS TO REBUILD MY BONE MARROW.

WELL NOW, WE WILL SEE WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT, AND WHY I AM ANEMIC ONCE AGAIN.....................I GOT NEWS FOR EVERYONE.  I'M NOT ABOUT TO BE SICK AT THIS TIME, AS MY HUSBAND IS ON HIS WAY HOME, AND THINGS ARE GOING WELL.

ALTHOUGH I AM A NURSE, I DO BELIEVE IN THE ABILITY OF THE PERSON TO CONTROL THEIR OWN LEVEL OF WELLNESS..............THE MIND HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT..............I ALSO BELIEVE A LOT IN HOLISTIC MEDICINE, COMBINED WITH TRADITIONAL MEDICINE.

JIMMY WILL COME HOME AGAIN ON MONDAY..............I'LL TAKE PRINCE OUTSIDE FOR A LITTLE WHILE RIGHT NOW.................FRAN

HAPPINESS.......

JIMMY WILL BE HOME FOR GOOD, ON PAROLE , IN EXACTLY 1 MONTH....................YES, EXACTLY 4 WEEKS FROM TODAY, ON A TUESDAY, JIMMY WILL LEAVE THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, COME HOME, AND NOT HAVE TO RETURN TO THE HALF-WAY HOUSE.................WE ARE BOTH VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT!.....................

HOWEVER, WE ARE BOTH REMAINING FOCUSED AND CENTERED................WE ARE KEEPING OUR LIVES AS ORDERLY AND ORGANIZED AS WE CAN................WE DISCUSS MANY THINGS...............AND ALL IS GOING VERY WELL PRESENTLY.

JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, ONCE AGAIN, ON MONDAY, FOR HIS HOME 12-HOUR VISIT.........

IT WAS A GREAT VISIT, AS ALWAYS!.....................

IT WAS, I BELIEVE, HIS 19TH VISIT HOME.

IT IS ALWAYS A GREAT VISIT, AS WE ARE 2 PEOPLE THAT ARE HAPPY TO ALWAYS BE TOGETHER!.................WE ALWAYS TALK, AND ONE MAY SAY WE HAVE GREAT COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE 2 OF US!

WE LOVE TO BE WITH EACH OTHER, AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS!

EVEN IF WE ARE IN 2 SEPERATE ROOMS, DOING SOMETHING, JIMMY WILL COME IN THE ROOM VERY OFTEN, TO KISS ME, AND SEE WHAT I'M DOING, AND MAKE SURE I'M OK.

JIMMY BOUGHT A COPY OF "THE REPUBLIC OF PLATO."  HE'LL START READING THAT SOON.........AGAIN, THAT IS! I'LL READ A LITTLE OF IT, ALSO.

JIMMY BOUGHT A COMPUTER COURSE ABOUT "COGNITIVE THINKING."  HE JUST LOVES IT!...........MY HUSBAND IS JUST TOO MUCH!...............AND HE JUST LOVES TO LEARN, AND LEARN, AND KEEP LEARNING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!             :)

I PROMISED HIM, I WILL ALSO LISTAN TO THE "COGNITIVE COURSE,"  BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M DOING A COUPLE OF COMPUTER COURSES TO UPGRADE MY NURSING LICENSE............LIKE, "BIO-TERRORISM IN THE WORK-PLACE," WHICH IS MANDATORY FOR NURSING LICENSES THESE DAYS.

I ALSO ALWAYS BUY BOOKS AND BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS!..........I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TO BE SURROUNDED BY READING MATERIAL!................I BOUGHT ANOTHER BOOK BY SYLVIA BROWN, ( I HAVE ALMOST HER WHOLE COLLECTION OF BOOKS)..............ANOTHER BOOK WHICH EXPLAINS THINGS IN THE BIBLE..AND ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT "ABUNDANCE," AND IT IS A VERY CHEERFUL AND PRETTY BOOK TO LOOK AT, AND READ, WITH SMALL VERSES IN IT, THAT ARE VERY OPTOMISTIC.........

AND SO YESTERDAY, JIMMY COOKED DELICIOUS SPARE RIBS!.............SO YUMMY..I JUST LOVED THEM...............I MADE THE SALAD.  HE ALSO MADE ME BREAKFAST WHEN HE ARRIVED HOME............HE MADE THE COFFEE, AND DELICIOUS SCRAMBLED EGGS!

MY HUSBAND JUST LOVES TO COOK!  SO I ENJOY WATCHING HIM COOK!.............AND HE CLEANS UP TOO!

THE DOG AND CATS ARE SO HAPPY THAT PAPA IS HOME NOW, TWICE A WEEK.  PRINCE GETS WALKED SO MANY TIMES BY DADDY THAT HE IS JUST VERY, VERY HAPPY!...............HE IS A BIG DOG, AND LOVES TO WALK, AND I BECAME UNABLE TO WALK HIM, BECAUSE HE PULLED ME OVER A FEW TIMES, AND FELL TWICE WITH HIM, AS HE IS A VERY STRONG DOG..................PRINCE IS NOW 61 LBS.  THAT IS AN 11 LB. GAIN SINCE DADDY HAS BEEN IN PRISON.

JIMMY SAYS I'M DOING SO MUCH BETTER, MYSELF, THAT I AM REALLY BACK TO THE SAME PERSON I ALWAYS WAS.  HE SAYS I AM REALLY NO LONGER AGORAPHOBIC, AS I BECAME VERY FEARFUL OF GOING OUT, AND HAD PANIC ATTACKS, AND EPISODES OF BEING SCARED, AND WANTING TO STAY ALONE, DURING THE MONTHS OF MY HUSBAND'S IMPRISONMENT.  WE BOTH AGREE, THAT THIS KIND OF REACTION FROM A WOMAN WHO IS IN LOVE WITH HER HUSBAND, IS ACTUALLY A NORMAL REACTION. JIMMY SAYS THAT I MOST LIKELY WOULD HAVE FALLEN DEEPER INTO BECOMING A FULL FLEDGED AGORAPHOBIC IF HE WAS NOT IN THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, AND NOT ABLE TO COME HOME.  YES, DURING THOSE DAYS, I WAS A RECLUSE, AND WOULD SLEEP ALL DAY.  IT WAS REALLY ODD.  HE WOULD CALL ME FROM PRISON, AND TELL ME TO GET UP...BUT I COULDN.T.  I WOULD SLEEP ALL DAY, UNTIL AROUND 7 PM, AND THEN GET UP, FOR A SHORT WHILE AND TAKE A SHOWER, TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS, AND TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE............IT WAS AS IF GOING TO SLEEP WAS THE ONLY PLACE I WANTED TO BE............I WOULD BE AWAKE ENOUGH TO ANSWER JIMMNY'S PHONE CALLS FROM PRISON...............I MADE UP THE WORD AND THOUGHT THAT I WAS ACTUALLY  "HIBERNATING" MYSELF, AS AN ANMIMAL, LIKE A BEAR, HIBERNATES ONESELF, IN ORDER TO PHYSICALLY SURVIVE....................AND THAT IS WHAT I THINK IT REALLY WAS.......................BUT NOW, IT HAS ALL CHANGED.

I AM BACK TO NORMAL

I GET UP EARLY, AND MAINTAIN A ROUTINE SCHEDUlE AND LIFE..............I AM NO LONGER SCARED TO GO OUT, AND REALLY ENJOY IT!  JIMMY AND I TALKED ABOUT ANOTHER ASPECT.  I SAID TO HIM, "WHEN A WOMAN'S HUSBAND IS IN PRISONM SHE HAS NOTHING AT ALL TO LOOK FORWARD TO.  THAT WOMAN CANNOT PLAN A DAY, A WEEK AHEAD, AND OF COURSE NEVER A HOLIDAY.  SO THAT IS THE PROBLEM.  THE MAN IS DOING TIME, AND ACTUALLY THE TIME HAS BECOME NON-EXISTANT IN THE WOMAN'S LIFE."

JIMMY AGREED WITH ME, AND WE ANALYZED THE WHOLE THING...................IT IS SIMPLY VERY DIFFICULT FOR ANY WOMAN, OR WIFE, TO DEAL WITH THE PASSAGFE OF TIME, AS THE HUSBAND IS IN PRISON..............

IT IS A HORRIBLE THING.

NOT REALLY UNDERSTOOD, BY ANYONE, UNLESS THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH IT.

IT IS TRUELY A "PSYCHOLOGICAL MESS,"............AND I BELIEVE IT HAS NEVER BEEN REALLY INTENSELY STUDIED, BY PSYCHOLOGISTS.

I AM HAPPY TO BE IN A DIFFERENT STAGE RIGHT NOW!.............I AM HAPPY, AND SMILING, AND THAT IS ALL I RELALLY CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW...........I LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT DAY, WHICH IS THURSDAY, WHEN JIMMY WILL RETURN HOME AGFAIN.............

ALTHOUGH I AM HAPOPY, RIGHT NOW, I DO CARE ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO ARE CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH THE ENTIRE PRISON PROCESS.............

THANK YOU BILL, CINDY, DAWN..............SOME OF THE MATURE PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ MY JOURNAL FROM THE START..............THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SUPPORTING ME, AND TELLING ME, THAT LIFE WILL CHANGE AND BE MORE PLEASANT, WHEN JIMMY COMES HOME FOR GOOD................IT HAS BEEN 3  1/2 YEARS............

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, FOR LISTENING TO MY THOUGHTS............................FRAN

wednesday's visit home

JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, ON WEDNESDAY, FOR HIS VISIT.  I AM STILL IN A STATE OF SHOCK, AS I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM, THAT I STILL FEEL HIM ALL OVER ME!

TONIGHT, WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE...........9PM TO 10PM, HIS ASSIGNED TIME, AND WE HAD SUCH GREAT CONVERSTAION, TOO!...WE ARE ALWAYS HAPPY AND JOKING WITH EACH OTHER!.................BUT THERE IS A VERY SERIOUS SIDE TO US IN WHICH WE DISCUSS MANY, MANY IMPORTANT THINGS..................THINGS ABOUT OUR LIFE, OURSELVES, AND THINGS HAPPENING INT THE WORLD AND NATION..................WE JUST LOVE TO KEEP "ABREAST" OF EVERYTHING HAPPENING IN OUR WORLD, AND IN LIFE , ITSELF..............WE TALK ABOUT CURRENT THINGS HAPPENING, AND DIFFERENT NEWS ITEMS........

TONIGHT JIMM WAS TALKING ABOUT THAT HE CAN'T WAIT TO BUY ME AN X-BOX..............HE WAS EXPLAINING IT TO ME............I KNOW I'LL LOVE IT, AS YEARS AGO I HAD SEGA, WHICH WAS NOT THAT GREAT, BUT I LOVED PLAYING ALL THOSE GAMES!.............IT KEEPS YOUR MIND ACTIVE!

WHEN JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, WE HAD ANOTHER GREAT DAY TOGETHER!

HE TOOK ME OUT TO THE APPROVED PLACES ON HIS PAPER.  THEN WE ARE BACK HOME BY AROUND 12 NOON.  THEN JIMMY LOVES TO DO SOME CLEANING IN THE HOUSE..............................HE TELLS ME, 'I LOVE TAKING CARE OF OUR HOUSE, FRAN.".................SO, I EITHER REST OR WATCH TV, AS HE DOES CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE...........HE DOES TELL ME THAT THE HOUSE IS ACTUALLY VERY CLEAN, BUT HE STILL DOES THINGS WHILE HOME.  IT MAKES HIM HAPPY, AND I AM HAPPY TO SEE HIM DO THINGS. 

HE IS BUSY IN THE KITCHEN.......HE MADE DELICIOUS HAM, AND THEN LATER SPLIT PEA SOUP WITH THE HAM BONE.  HE WANTED TO KEEP THE PEA SOUP FOR ME IN THE FRIDGE.....................I ALWAYS MAKE THE DECAF COFFEE, AS HE LOVES HOW I MAKE IT!

AND SO, WE ARE RELAXED AND IN BED BY 2PM, OR SO..........WE LAY IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS..........WE WATCH SOME TV...................JIMMY LOVES TO HOLD ME AGAINST HIS CHEST, AND WE BOTH DRIFT OFF TO SLEEP THAT WAY..................THROUGHOUT THE DAY, WE PICK ON FOOD AND SNACKS.................AND HE ENJOYS DOING THINGS ON THE COMPUTER.................I USUALLY SIT BY HIM, AND PLAY WITH HIS HAIR, AS HE DOES COMPUTER WORK................

WE ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE....................WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

MY MOTTO IN LIFE IS, "NO FUSS, NO MUSS.".............

FOR ME, I LOVE SIMPLICITY.

I HAVE TOLD JIMMY SO MANY TIMES, "IF IT IS NOT SIMPLE, PLEASE, I DO NOT WANT IT THEN."

AND SO, HE NOW JOKES WITH ME.........."OK, FRAN.  NO FUSS , NO MUSS.  IT MUST BE SIMPLE, FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY."......................AND SO WE LAUGH AT THAT.  BUT WE BOTH KNOW IT IS THE TRUTH.

...............AND, I HAVE TRUTHFULLY ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY, IN MY ENTIRE LIFE."...............AND SOMEHOW, THINGS BECOME EASIER IN LIFE, WITH THAT BELIEF.

................MY OTHER BELIEF SYSTEM, WHICH I ALWAYS WRITE HERE, IS "PEACE, BALANCE AND HARMONY."......................AND THAT IS TRUE.

HOWEVER, I AM AN OPINIONATED WOMAN, ABOUT MANY THINGS IN LIFE................................JIMMY IS A VERY KNOWLEDGABLE MAN, AND OPINIONATED TOO.  I THINK THAT'S WHY I LOVE TALKING TO HIM ABOUT SO MANY THINGS...................HE IS ONE PERSON IN THIS WORLD, WHO LOVES TO LISTEN TO MY OPINIONS.................AND, I LEARN SO VERY MUCH FROM JIMMY.

WELL..............HERE WE GO WITH SOME CURRENT THOUGHTS.....................

MY VERIZON PHONE BILLS ARE OUTSTANDING, ONCE AGAIN.  JIMMY CALLS ME FROM PAY PHONES, AND USES A VERIZON PHONE CARD...............IT IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE...............

I PAID MY BILL TODAY, ON THE PHONE..........$1100.00 FOR 1 MONTH...................THE FELLOW IN VERIZON I WAS TALKING TO, SAID, "OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOUR BILLS SO HIGH!".................YES, HE WORKS THERE AND CAN;T BELIEVE IT..................BUSINESSES ONLY PAY AROUND $600.00 or $700.00/MONTH FOR PHONE BILLS.

I TOLD THE FELLOW, MY HUSBAND IS IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE NOW, BUT HE HAS BEEN AWAY, TO PRISON, ETC., FOR 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHS, AND THAT IS PRETTY MUCH WHAT I HAVE BEEN PAYING EACH MONTH...............I LAUGHED AND JOKED WITH HIM...............I SAID, THE COST DIDN'T MATTER, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, AND JUST HAVE TO KEEP TALKING EACH DAY..................

I HAVE TO LAUGH AND JOKE THE ISSUE AWAY...............CAN I HAVE A HEART ATTACK ABOUT IT?....................NO.  I WON'T LET IT AFFECT ME.

HOWEVER, I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR THOSE WIVES OUT THERE, WHO CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY SUCH HIGH PHONE BILLS.

AND WHEN I SAY "PRISON REFORM," THIS IS ONE SUBJECT THAT IS A BIG ISSUE IN OUR COUNTRY...............THE COST OF PRISON CALLS IS OUTRAGEOUSLY EXPENSIVE.  THERE ARE ISSUES AND LAWSUITS GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY, ABOUT THE COST OF PRISON CALLS.......I HAVE READ MANY ARTICLES ON THE COMPUTER ABOUT THE ISSUES OF HIGH PRISON PHONE CALLS..............I AM SURE ONE DAY IT WILL BE SETTLED.......

HOWEVER, I BLESS ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL EVERYDAY, THAT WE HAVE TELEPHONES TO SPEAK ON.

SOMETIMES JIMMY HAS CALLED ME, AND SAID, "FRAN, I JUST HAVE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS.............THAT'S ALL."

ANOTHER WONDERFUL THING, IS THAT WE HAVE NEVER BEEN FAR FROM EACH OTHER.............BECAUSE WE ALWAYS STAY CONNECTED BY PHONE, WE ARE WITH EACH OTHER AT ALL TIMES..........................EVEN BEING IN PRISON FOR 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHS, WE ARE SO VERY CONNECTED.............JIMMY KNOWS EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSEHOLD, AND WHAT I DO EACH MOMENT.............AND WE BOTH LIKE IT THAT WAY!

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT, SINCE SO MANY NEGATIVE COMMENTS HAVE BEEN ROLLING IN LATELY.

HOWEVER, I WILL THANK "DAWN," WHO WROTE A WONDERFUL COMMENT TODAY.  DAWN BECAME MY JOURNAL FRIEND, AS SHE HAS BEEN READING MY JOURNAL FROM THE BEGINNING, AND HAS ALWAYS STOOD BY MY SIDE...................THANK YOU DAWN..........THANK YOU.

DAWN, (ADLESSOR), HAS WORKED IN LAW ENFORCEMENT , BEFORE RETIREMENT.  SHE UNDERSTANDS THE ISSUES.  SHE UNDERSTANDS THE DIFFICULTY OF BEING A PRISONER'S WIFE, AND HANGING IN THERE.  MANY TIMES, YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS VERY DESPERATE, DAWN WOULD SAY ENCOURAGING WORDS, AND WOULD HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY..........PLEASE READ HER COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY. 

I WILL TRY TO ANSWER SOME OF YOUR QUESTIONS, NOW.

MY JOURNAL BECAME FAMOUS, YOU MAY SAY, BECAUSE A LOT OF PRISONER'S WIVES ACTUALLY SENT COPIES TO THEIR HUSBANDS WHO WERE IN PRISON.  THE PRISONERS BECAME VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS JOURNAL, AND I IMAGINE THEY ARE STILL READING IT.  ALSO, WHEN SENT TO A HLF-WAY HOUSE, IN THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY, I BELIEVE THE MEN HAVE SOME ACCESS TO COMPUTERS, AT TIMES.

OVER 20,000 PEOPLE HAVE READ THIS JOURNAL.  AOL MESSED UP MY COUNTER, THAT IS WHY THE COUNT IS INACCURATE, BUT I HAVE KEPT TRACK MYSELF.

AN ARTICLE ABOUT THIS JOURNAL, ALONG WITH PIX OF JIMMY AND MYSELF, WAS WRITTEN IN "THE PRESS OF ATLANTIC CITY," ON FEBRUARY 10, 2005.........SUNDAYS PAPER...............THE REPORTER FOUND MY JOURNAL, WHIKE DOING RSEARCH ON GOOGLE, ABOUT kINTOCK.  HE WAS SO IMPRESSED WITH THIS JOURNAL, THAT HE CONTACTED ME, AND WROTE THE STORY.  HE VISITED ME AT HOME FOR A 2 HOUR INTERVIEW, AND SENBT A NEWSPAPER PHOTOGRAPHER HERE, TO TAKE PIX.  HE HAD SPECIAL PERMISSION TO INTERVIEW MY HUSBAND FOR 2 HOURS, UPON WHICH THEY TALKED ABOUT THIS JOURNAL......THERE WERE PRISON TOP OFFICIALS THAT WERE QUOTED IN THE ARTICLE, THAT COMPLIMENTED MY JOURNAL, AS IT IS A PLACE FOR PRISONER'S WIVES TO COME TO, TO READ AND NOT FEEL ALONE.  THOSE PRISON OFFICIALS AGREED THAT OUR COUNTRY OFFERS LITTLE OR NO HELP FOR THE PRISONER'S FAMILIES AND CHILDREN.

SO, ALL YOU COMMENTERS THAT SAY HATEFUL THINGS IN THIS JOURNAL, WELL, YOU ARE NOT INFLUENCING ME AT ALL.  I LISTEN, BUT I KIND OF FEEL SORRY FOR YOU ALL, BECAUSE YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE AT ALL.........

MAYBE IT IS GOOD, FOR EVERYONE TO EXPRESS THEIR OPINIONS, AS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING.

MY HUSBAND JIMMY, WENT TO JAIL, OM MARCH 28, 2003, AND THEN STAYED IN BAYSIDE STATE PRISON.  HE WAS AT KINTOCK, A HALF-WAY HOUSE.  HOWEVER, HE IS NO LONGER UNDER THE DOC (dept of corrections), BECAUSE HE WAS PAROLLED MARCH 21, 2006.  SO, NOW HE HAS BEEN AT A HALF-WAY BACK HOUSE, IN CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY.......HE IS PAROLLED, BUT STAYS THERE WITH 2 -12 HOUR VISITS HOME EACH WEEK.  HE ALSO TRAVELS TO HIS JOB EACH DAY, BY PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.

WELL, IT'S GETTING LATE, AND I'M A LITTLE TIRED, SO I'LL SAY GOOD-NIGHT.

I HOPE ALL OF YOU HAVE A BLESSED ANDWONDERFUL LIFE!..................................................FRAN

 

 

HOME AGAJN

JIMMY WAS HOME AGAIN, YESTERDAY, ON SUNDAY , FOR ANOTHER 12 HOUR VISIT..................8 AM TO 8 PM.  IT WAS ANOTHER LOVELY DAY, AS EACH OF HIS VISITS HOME ARE.

WE WENT FOOD SHOPPING TO BUY A FEW THINGS...HE BOUGHT ME 24 BEAUTIFUL DIFFERENT COLOR ROSES, WHICH I REALLY LOVE.  HE ALSO BOUGHT ME 24 CLAMS ON THE HALF-SHELL................WE BOUGHT THEM HOME, AND JIMMY ACTUALLY WAS ABLE TO OPEN THEM WITH A KNIFE...............HE LOVES TO WATCH ME EAT CLAMS ON THE HALF SHELL!  HE SATS IT IS A VERY SEXY THING TO WATCH ME EAT THEM!

WE DID EVERYTHING PLANNED. THEN WE WERE IN BED BY 1PM.  YES, IT WAS GREAT..........WE MAKE SURE WE DO OUR HUSBAND AND WIFE DUTIES, AS THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT, I GUESS...........

I GOT MANY WONDERFUL BODY MASSAGES, ETC.

WE BOTH HAVE OUR SEX, FOR 2 DAYS A WEEK.  THAT IS GIVEN TO US.....................THAT IS WHAT WE ARE ALLOWED, AND WE FOLLOW THE RULES VERT RIDGEDLY.

JIMMY COOKED ROAST BEEF, WHICH WAS DELICIOUS.

I ALSO HAVE FOUND OUT THAT MANY MEN WHO ARE IN PRISONS ARE READING THIS JOURNAL.  MOST OF THEM LOVE THIS JOURNAL, AND THE THINGS I TALK ABOUT.  MOST ARE NOT COMMENTERS.

I AM HAPPY BECAUSE I KNOW THEY ARE ON MY SIDE.  THEY ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE THE SILENT ONES, BUT WHO KNOW THE TRUTH THAT IS HAPPENING WITHIN THE PRISONS IN OUR COUNTRY.

I RECEIVED A SPECIAL MESSAGE, FROM A FORMER PRISONER THE OTHER DAY, AND HE HIMSELF IS A WRITER, AND HE READ THIS JOURNAL AND IS HAPPY WITH IT.

I FEEL STRONGER, AND BETTER NOW................THOSE THAT COMMENT AND SAY THINGS LIKE THEY ARE NOT IN FAVOR OF PRISON REFORM, THEY ARE THE STUPID ONES IN OUR COUNTRY..THEY ARE THE NON-INFORMED PEOPLE, COMMNENTING ON THAT WHICH THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF...........

I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE, BECAUSE I THINK THIS JOURNAL IS A CONTROVERSIAL ONE, AND IT IS HELPING PEOPLE.  MANY WIVES, FAMILIES, CHILDREN, AND YES EVEN PRISONERS THEMSELVES WHO ARE AWARE OF THE TRUE SITUATIONS.

I STARTED THIS JOURNAL, AS A SAD, DISTRAUGHT WOMAN.  AND NOW AFTER 3 1/2 YEARS OF A MAN IN PRISON.............I MYSELF KNOW WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT...................................FRAN

a great visit

WE HAD A GREAT 12 HOUR VISIT, YESTERDAY!.............IT WAS JIMMY'S 15TH VISIT HOME.

HE MADE TORTOLLENI WITH MEAT SAUCE....MEATBALLS AND SAUSAGE................IT WAS VERY YUMMY. 

WE WENT TO BJ'S AN SYOCKED UP THE HOUSE WITH FOOD, SINCE I AM MEDICALLY NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE ANYMORE..............HE PUTS ME IM MY WHEELCHAIR, AND WE GO AND LOOK AT EVERYTHING IN BJ'S!

WE BOUGHT BEAUTIFUL FRESH FRUITS................PEACHES, NECTARINES, AND STRAWBERRIES, WHICH I LOVE...............AND FRESH BROCOLLI AND SPINACH, AS I LOVE VEGTABLES!

YES, FOR ALL OF YOU WORRIED OUT THERE, JIMMY AND I ARE BIG PEOPLE!....AND I NEVER PUT BIG PEOPLE DOWN, AND NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ACCUSE THEM.....I LOVE FAT PEOPLE, AND I'M FAT MYSELF.  HOWEVER, BECAUSE I SAY THE TRUTH, YOU ALL GET ANGRY!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, JIMMY WILL COME HOME AGAIN IN 3 MORE DAYS, WHICH IS SUNDAY.  .WE ARE JUST COUNTIMNG THE DAYS DOWN. NOW.  TIME SEEMS TO BE MOVING SLOW RIGHT NOW.

WE ALSO WENT TO ST.NAXIMILLIAN KOLBE, ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH TO BUY  AN ENGRAVED STONE, IN THE ROOM OF SHRINES, FOR HIS MOTHER, WHO IS DECEASED..............SHE DIED AROUND 13 YEARS AGO.

...................FRAN

 

OPTIMISM

JIMMY IS COMIMG HOME TOMORROW, OMCE AGAIN, FOR HIS 12 HOUR VISIT, AND I AM SO HAPPY AND THRILLED!................I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM, AND BE IN HIS LOVING ARMS!

I AM SO POSITIVE AND OPTIMISTIC!!!!!!!!!!!

.....................FRAN

our thoughts

I SPOKE WITH JIMMY A LITTLE WHILE AGO, AND DISCUSSED THIS JOURNAL WITH HIM.  SO, HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR THOUGHTS.

BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED, WHICH WAS 5 YEARS AGO, JIMMY AND I WERE  "KENNEDY LIBERALS."   BUT NOW, AFTER SPENDING ALMOST 4 YEARS IN PRISON, JIMMY AND I HAVE GONE FROM BEING "LIBERALS,"  TO "CONSERVATIVES. "

JIMMY FEELS NOW THAT AFTER THINKING ABOUT LIFE, AND ANALYZING THINGS, THE "WAY TO GO,".............ACTUALLY THE "CORRECT WAY TO GO,'".......IN THIS COUNTRY, AND GLOBALLY FOR THAT MATTER, IS TO BE A CONSERVATIVE.  HE FEELS THAT PEOPLE , SUCH AS POLICE OFFICERS, PRISON GUARDS, AND THOSE IN AUTHORITY ...............THEY ARE THE RIGHT WAY.

AS MANY OF YOU MAY KNOW, MY HUSBAND WAS ONCE AN ATTORNEY, SO AS YOU CAN SEE, HE ALWAYS ANALYZES THINGS VERY CAREFULLY.

LET ME EXPLAIN. 

HE FEELS THAT SOMETHING LIKE 99%  OF THE LIBERAL POPULATION IS REALLY NOT ACCEPTED BY OUR COUNTRY. 

JIMMY IS A MANAGER AT A FOODSTORE, HERE IN NEW JERSEY.  HE TELLS ME THAT MEN IN PRISON COME UP TO HIM AND ASK HIM TO TRY AND GET THEM A JOB ..................WELL, SURPRISINGLY, 99%  OF THOSE MEN, WHO ARE SEEKING WORK, NEVER EVEN FOLLOW THROUGH WITH AN APPLICATION.  THE OTHER 1% ARE ALWAYS ASKING HIM FOR MONEY.

JIMMY AND I HAVE NEVER WALKED PAST A HOMELESS MAN WITHOUT GIVING HIM MONEY, OR BUYING HIM A SANDWHICH............................

WHEN JIMMY TRAVELS BACK TO VOA FROM HIS JOB, HOMELESS MEN APPROACH HIM  AND ASK FOR MONEY.  HE ALWAYS GIVES TO THEM.  LATER, WHEMN HE TALKS TO ME ON THE PHONE HE SAYS,  "HONEY, THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE I SPEND TIME IN PRISON WITH.  AND HERE THEY ARE, RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY STARTED FROM."

WHEN I ASKED HIM, JIMMY SAID, "YES, MANY OF THE MEN IN PRISON ARE CRAZY."    HIS OWN BUNKIE , IN CRAF,  WAS ON HEAVY PSYCH MEDS, AND WAS A CHILD MOLESTER.  HE TALKED TO HIMSELF ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT, AND WAS RIGHT ABOVE JIMMY, IN A BUNK,  IN A 9FT. BY 8 FT. CELL.  THE OTHER GUYS WOULD ASK JIMMY HOW HE COULD STAND IT, BUT JIMMY IS ABLE TO GET THROUGH ANYTHING IN LIFE. 

MY ANSWER TO JIMMY WAS,  'THEY MAY BE CRAZY, BUT THEY ARE SMART ENOUGH TO DO CRIMES TO GET LOCKED UP AGAIN, AND NOT LIVE OUT ON THE STREETS, AND NOT CLEAN THEMSELVES UP, AND LIVE A DECENT LIFE."......................THOSE THAT ARE DIAGNOSED WITH PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS ARE PUT IN INSTITUTIONS FOR THE MENTALLY ILL.  ....................SO, WHEN THE COMMENTOR SAID, THE EXCUSE IS THAT THEY RETURN TO THE STREETS BECAUSE THEY ARE CRAZY,...WELL, THAT ANSWER IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME...................AND I WORKED WITH STREET PEOPLE FOR 16 YEARS IN NEW YORK.

ALSO, IN INDIA, PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN INTO POVERTY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LIVE ON THE STREET, FROM BIRTH..................BEGGARS....LIVING IN HUTS. ..............CHILDREN THAT BEG, EVERYDAY ON THE STREET.............. THERE IS NO SOCIAL SYSTEM TO HELP THEM OUT, AS WE HAVE HERE IN AMERICA..................NO SOUP KITCHENS, AND NO FOOD STAMPS........

JIMMY WOULD ALSO LIKE TO GIVE HIS POINT OF VIEW ON ANOTHER SUBJECT.  JIMMY HAS SEEN IN PRISON, FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHS, MEN WHO HAVE 4 OR 5 WOMEN VISITING THEM.  MOST OF THESE MEN ARE UNMARRIED, AND HAVE MANY CHILDREN WITH EACH WOMAN.  THESE MEN ARE PROUD TO BE DOING THIS.  THEY WANT THESE WOMEN, WHO ARE 'THE GIRLFRIEND,' TO BUY THEM THINGS, AND SEND THEM MONEY......MOST OF THESE LOCKED UP GUYS HAVE TV'S RADIOS, ETC.....YOU NAME IT, THEY HAVE IT..............LOTS OF MONEY SENT TO THEM BY THESE WOMEN.  THESE WOMEN, WHO CALL THEMSELVES THE MAN'S "WIFE,' BUT ARE ACTUALLY NOT MARRIED, AND UNAWRE THAT THE MAN HAS MANY OTHER GIRLFRIENDS. 

MY HUSBAND FEELS SAD THAT THESE WOMEN ARE BEING ABUSED AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY THESE MEN.  MANY OF THESE ARE HEAVY-SET WOMEN, WHO HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO CATER TO THESE PRISONERS, WHO LEAD THEM ON FOR YEARS.  ....

NOW, JIMMY IS NOT SAYING THIS IS THE CASE FOR EVERYONE, BUT IT IS FOR SOME.

I MET MY HUSBAND BEFORE HE WENT TO PRISON.  WE MET A LITTLE WHILE AFTER HE COMMITED HIS CRIME.  WE WE LIVING TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE FOR 2 YEARS, BEFORE HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO PRISON.........................

ALSO, I MADE A MISTAKE.....IT COSTS JIMMY  $11.00 per day, TO AND FROM WORK.  HIS JOB IS 3 HOURS , TO AND FROM WORK.  THE OTHER GUYS COULD GET A JOB CLOSE BY, IF THEY WANTED.  MEN IN THE OTHER HALF-WAY HOUSE THAT JIMMY WAS IN EARLIER, HAD JOBS IN FACTORIES, AND SOME DID THINGS LIKE "PICK FEATHERS OFF THE CHICKENS," FOR CHICKEN COMPANIES.................THOSE MEN ALSO HAD PROSTITUTES COMING TO THE FACTORY, AND HAVING SEX WITH THEM IN THE YARD BEHIND THE FACTORY................

ANOTHER COMMENT MENTIONED MEN ARE BEAT UP IF THEY ARE CAUGHT WITH DRUGS, ETC....YES, THEY ARE.  THE MEN GET ANGRY WHEN ONE PERSON IN THE GROUP DOES WRONG THINGS, AND THEN THEY 'TAKE CARE OF THAT GUY."

.....AND AS FAR AS ME BEING A "SELF-RIGHTOUS PERSON," WELL THAT IS, IN A WAY,IN A WAY  A GOOD THING TO BE.  IT IS BETTER THAN BEING IN A STATE OF DEPRESSION, AND HATING YOURSELF .................AND BEING IN A DEEP DEPRESSION FOR 3 YEARS....................A SHUNNED, STIGMATIZED WOMAN............STIGMATIZES BY HER OWN SOCIETY...............THAT IS A TERRIBLE THING..............AND MOSY WOMEN OUT THERE, ARE SCARED, PRISON WIVES.  THEY SHY AWAY FROM SOCIETY.  THEY ARE FRIGHTENED.  THEY ARE HIDING THEMSELVES IN THE HOUSE.....................YOU, OUT THERE...YOU KNOW IT, IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU!.............."THIS THING CALLED PRISON!"

DON'T BE AFRAID!.................COME OUT AND SPEAK YOUR MIND..................TALK ABOUT THE PRISON SYSTEM IN OUR COUNTRY!

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN OPTIMISTIC PERSON IN MY LIFE, AND NO ONE, NOT ANYONE, WILL EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME...........................EVEN THOUGH I MAY BE A PRISONER'S WIFE.

................"AND WE ALWAYS REACH FOR THE HIGHEST STAR!"

........................FRAN AND JIMMY

 

monday thoughts

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS!..................THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS JOURNAL IS ABOUT!.....................TO  "STIR UP YOUR THOUGHTS,"  AND GET YOU THINKING ABOUT ISSUES IN OUR LIFE, COUNTRY, AND WORLD........

YES, I SUCCEEDED IN GETTING YOU ALL TO THINK ABOUT THINGS YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT1...............THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR OPINIONS!

AND TO A CERTAIN FEW, WHOM I WILL NOT MENTION NAMES, "STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME!"

YOU ALL FELL INTO MY TRAP!............

I TESTED THE READERS OF THIS JOURNAL, AND FOUND OUT MY ANSWER.

THE ANSWER I FOUND OUT, IS THAT THE AMERICAN POPULATION STILL STIGMATIZES THE PRISONER'S WIFE, AND THE PRISONER HIMSELF.......................THAT IS THE TRUTH, AND THE MINDS OF OUR PEOPLE JUST WILL NEVER CHANGE, UNFORTUNATELY...............................FRAN

 

SUNDAY THOUGHTS

"BE NOT DECEIVED, BAD COMPANY CORRUPTS GOOD CHARACTER."  ........................This is a quote from ST. PAUL, in the Bible.

JIMMY CALLED A LITTLE WHILE AGO, FROM VOA, AND WE DISCUSSED WHAT I WROTE YESTEDRDAY IN MY ENTRY.

HE QUOTED THE ABOVE FROM THE BIBLE, AS JIMMY IS VERY WELL-VERSED IN THE BIBLE.

HE POINTED OUT TO ME THAT A PERSON MAY GO INTO PRISON AS A "PICKPOCKET," AND LEAVE AS A 'SAFE-CRACKER."

WHAT HE IS SAYING, FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE IS THAT MEN LEARN  FROM EACH OTHER WHILE IN PRISON.  PRISONERS ARE SOME OF THE SMARTEST STREET-SMART PEOPLE, AND THE SLICKEST.............AND BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL TOGETHER, THEY OFTEN TEACH EACH OTHER ALL THE TRICKS OF THE TRADE................THEY SIT AROUND , SHARING SECRETS OF HOW TO DO CRIMES, ETC.

JIMMY SAYS HE HAS MET MEN WITH 5 TO 7 STATE PRISON BIDS................THAT IS, THEY KEEP GOING BACK IN.

WE HAVE ACTUALLY MET MANY VERY NICE PEOPLE WHILE IN PRISON.  I HAVE SPOKEN TO MOTHERS, GIRLFRIENDS, AND WIVES, OF PRISONERS.  SOME PRISONERS EVEN SEND ME MAIL, AND I WRITE TO THEM.....THERE ARE A LOT OF "NICE" PEOPLE IN PRISON, WHO ARE SORRY FOR EVER HAVING COMMITTED A CRIME.

BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU DO MEET SOME THAT ARE SIMPLY 'THE SCUM OF THE EARTH,' AND THERE IS NO OTHER WORD TO USE.  SOME OF YOU OPPOSED MY USE OF THE WORD "SCUM,' BUT I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW, UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN THIS YOURSELF.

A LOT OF THESE MEN ARE HOMELESS, AND ONCE RELEASED, ALTHOUGH GIVEN HELP THROUGH SOCIAL SERVICES, GO RIGHT BACK TO THE STREETS.  THEY GO RIGHT BACK TO LIVING IN THE ALLEY-WAYS, BITEN UP BY MOSQUITOS AND SPIDERS..................BEGGING PEOPLE FOR MONEY...................DIRTY AND DISHEVELED...............JUST WANTING MORE AND MORE STREET DRUGS.....................THEY ARE GIVEN SOME HELP BY THE PRISON SYSTEM, AND YET REFUSE IT, AND WIND UP ON THE STREETS .........................ROBBING, YES, YOU, OF YOUR PURSES AND GOLD JEWELRY, AND BREAKING INTO YOUR HOMES, ETC.....................

AND YESTERDAY, WHEM I OPENED THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER, 'THE ASBURY PARK PRESS,"  TO THE EDITORIAL PAGE, LO AND BEHOLD!.......................RIGHT THERE IN BOLD PRINT, I SEE ANOTHER ARTICLE, WRITTEN BY THE EDITOR, IN THE CENTER OF THE PAGE........IT WAS TITLED, "PRISON PROGRAM NEEDS CORRECTION."

WELL, THANK THE LORD ABOVE THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WORRIED ABOUT WRONG-DOINGS WITHIN THE PRISON SYSTEM.  THE ARTICLE AGAIN MENTIONS THE 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS ALOTED FOR THE EDUCATION IN THE PRISON, WHICH IS NOT BEING USED PROPERLY BY THE PRISONS..............................SO THERE YOU GO!...................AGAIN THE WRONG USE OF THE TAX-PAYERS MONEY IS MENTIONED.

I'M SO HAPPY THAT SOME MEDIA COVERAGE IS BEGINNING TO TAKE PLACE.

DON'T GET ME WRONG....................PRISONS ARE WONDERFUL PLACES, AND THEY SERVE THEIR PURPOSE IN HOUSING THE CRIMINALS....MANY CRIMIANLS SHOULD BE IN THERE FOR LIFE, AND SHOULD NEVER EVEN SEE THE OUTSIDE WORLD.................YES, I AGREE WITH THAT.  ONLY SOME REFORMATION IS NEEDED, AMD IT IS HARD TO GET THE PUBLIC TAX=PAYING CITIZEN TO AGREE WITH THAT, SIMPLY BECAUSE HE IS UNAWARE.

JIMMY ONCE AGAIN SAYS HE KNOWS HE WAS WRONG IN COMMITTING THE CRIME HE DID.  HE IS SORRY HE COMMITTED THE CRIME.  HE ALWAYS SAYS HE IS GUILTY, AND DESERVES TO BE IN PRISON.  LET US GET THAT STRAIGHT.  WE NEVER, EVER SAID HE SHOULD NOT BE WHERE HE IS TODAY.  BUT TOGETHER AS A COULPLE, WE HAVE WORKED THROUGH ALL THIS, AND JIMMY WENT THROUGH A REFOMATION.  HE IS A MAN WHO IS HAPPILY MARRIED, WHO LOVES HIS WIFE AND ANIMALS, AND SO BE IT...............................JIMMY HAS NOW BEEN AWAY FROM HOME FOR 3YEARS 5 MONTHS.  THAT IS QUITE A LONG TIME..................IT GIVES  APERSON PLENTY OF TIME TO THINK THINGS OVER, AND CHANGE ONES WAYS AND THOUGHTS.............

AND SO, NOW I WILL SAY GOOD BYE FOR NOW!...............................fran

ps....................A COMMENT WAS ALSO MADE IN REGARDS TO TAX-PAYERS MONEY GOING TO THE WAR.  WELL, THAT IS A SEPERATE ISSUE.  AS FOR ME, I NEVER, EVER BELIEVE IN WARS, BECAUSE I DON;T BELIEVE IN TAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES.  I AM A PEACEFUL PERSON, AND BELIEVE OUR PLANET WAS MEANT TO BE A PEACEFUL, LOVING PLACE TO LIVE..............MAY YOU ALL HAVE "PEACE , BALANCE AND HARMONY,' WITHIN YOUR LIVES.......

SATURDAY UPDATE

HI EVERYONE!

JIMMY CAN'T COME HOME THIS WEEKEND.  HIS BUNKIE WAS CAUGHT TAKING DRUGS, SO THE WHOLE ROOM, OF 12 HALF-WAY BACK MEN, ARE BEING PUNISHED FOR 1 WEEK.  THAT MEANS THE 12 MEN CANNOT GO HOME ON THEIR PASSES.

WELL, YES, IT DOES SEEM UNFAIR, DOESM'T IT?

IF SOME OF YOU REMMEBER, SOMEWHERE BACK IN THE 1970'S , I BELIEVE, YOU ALWAYS HEARD THE EXPRESSION 'PRISON REFORM."  NOW-A -DAYS, YOU REALLY NEVER HEAR THAT TERM OR EXPRESSION ANYMORE.  I GUESS NO ONE REALLY CARES ANYMORE...................IF YOU OUT THERE CARED, YOU WOULD BE WRITING LETTERS TO YOUR GOVERNMENT MEN, WHO MAKE THE RULES AND REGULATIONS. 

FOR ANY OF YOU ARE INTERESTED, MAY I REMIND YOU, IT IS YOUR TAX-DOLLARS THAT ARE GOING INTO A "PRISON SYSTEM" THAT IS,  IN MANY WAYS, MAY I USE THE TERM, "CORRUPT."

SO LAST THURSDAY, WHEN JIMMY CAME HOME, HE BROKE THE NEWS TO ME VERY CALMLY THAT HE COULD NOT COME HOME FOR 1 WEEK, BECAUSE HIS ROOM WAS 'BEING PUNISHED.".....................WELL, I AM NOT A HAPPY PERSON, WHEN IT COMES TO "INJUSTICE."

SURE ENOUGH, I OPENED THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER A FEW MINUTES LATER, AND THERE WAS A BIG ARTICLE THAT THE PRISONS ARE USING 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS OF THE TAX-PAYERS MONEY IN NEW JERSEY, FOR A WRONG-DOING WITHIN THE PRISONS OF NEW JERSEY.

.....................SO, THERE YOU ARE!

...........YES, YOU, AND ME, TOO..............THE TAX-PAYERS MONEY IS BEING USED UNLAWFULLY WITHIN THE PRISON SYSTEM.....................THE ISSUE IS CONCERNING EDUCATION OF THE MEN.

...........BUT I SUPPOSE MOST PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO BUSY, OR JUST DON'T CARE, WHERE THEIR TAX MONEY IS GOING......................NOT EVEN 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS OF IT...................AND YOU, ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS, EXPECT TO BE PROSPEROUS IN LIFE, WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY, OR TAX DOLLARS?

ANOTHER POINT I WOULD LIKE TO BRING UP, IS THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND IS THE ONLY MAN, AMONGST THE 12 MEN IN HIS ROOM, WHO GOES OUT TO WORK EACH DAY.  YES, 5 DAYS A WEEK, JIMMY TRAVELS FOR A TOTAL OF AT LEAST 3 HOURS EACH DAY TO GET TO HIS JOB. HE TAKES 2 TRAINS, AND A BUS TO GO ONE WAY, AND THEN DOES IT AGAIN TO RETURN TO HOPE HALL IN THE EVENING.  HE HAS AN 8 HOUR WORK-DAY.  HE SPENDS $22.00 PER DAY TO TRAVEL BACK AND FORTH................YES, I SAID PER DAY!...........................AND HE DOES THIS BECAUSE HE LOVES WORKING, AND HAS ALWAYS HAD A HIGH WORK ETHIC WITHIN HIM.  THE OTHER 11 GUYS IN HIS ROOM, SIT AROUND ALL DAY, EVERYDAY, LIKE LUMPS ON LOGS, WATCHING TV, OR JUST STARING INTO SPACE.

NOW, WHEN I SAY "PRISON REFORM,"  DON'T YOU THINK THE SYSTEM COULD BE CHANGED IN THAT THEY WOULD CATEGORIZE PEOPLE WITHIN HALF-WAY HOUSES, AND MAYBE PRISONS......................FOR INSTANCE, PUT ALL THE EDUCATED PEOPLE TOGETHER..............THOSE THAT ARE COLLEGE EDUCATED, AND PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE....................JIMMY HAS MET A LOT OF PROFESSIONALS IN PRISON...........LAWYERS, DOCTORS, BUISNESSMEN.......................WHY KEEP THESE PEOPLE ALONG WITH THE SCUM OF THE EARTH?   I DON'T GET IT..................A LOT OF THESE MEN ARE GETTING DRUGS FROM THEIR WIVES THAT SMUGGLE THEM IN.................A LOT ARE RIDDLED WITH DISEASE...................ALMOST ALL NEVER WORKED, AND CAN'T EVEN FILL OUT A JOB APPLICATION.  MOST DON'T WANT TO CHANGE...THEY ARE MOSTLY DRUG ADDICTS, AND ALCOHOLICS, ETC..........................WHY LUMP THEM ALL TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE.......AND WHY PUNISH THEM ALL TOGETHER, WHEN THEY ARE NOT IN THE SAME CATEGORY, IN LIFE...........................I JUST DON'T GET IT.....

UNLESS THE PUBLIC IS AWARE OF ACTUALLY WHAT IS GOING ON WITHIN OUR PRISONS, THE "SYSTEM,  IN OUR COUNTRY WILL NEVER CHANGE.......

IT IS UP TO YOU, AMERICA, TO TRY AND DO SOMETHING TO FIX THIS CORRUPT SYSTEM....................

WRITE TO YOUR CONGRESSMEN.....

BUT I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE, AND I HONESTLY HOPE THAT ONE DAY, YOUR LOVED ONE IS NEVER CAUGHT AND LOCKED UP, IN A PRISON...........................THEN, AND ONLY THEM, WILL YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT........................FRAN

 

answer to comment

answer to "bvanepps" comment in the previous entry......

"I DO NOTHING BUT WAIT FOR MY HUSBAND...........I RELAX, AND AM A LADY OF LEISURE!...................I DAYDREAM OF JIMMY ALL DAY, EVERY DAY!"................................

ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH THAT ANSWER, OR DO YOU WANT SOMETHING ELSE?!

I'VE DONE IT ALL IN MY LIFE!........."BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!".............THAT'S MY MIDDLE NAME!

.................................FRAN........(JUST A WOMAN IN LOVE!..............oddly enough, in love with her husband!.............(AS MOST OF AMERICA ISN'T, WITH A 50 PER CENT DIVORCE RATE IN OUR COUNTRY)

..............WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?........I'M ON WELFARE, WITH 10 OUT OF WEDLOCK KIDS..........USE FOOD STAMPS............SIT AROUND ALL DAY SMOKING AND WATCHING SOAP OPERAS............????????????????/

NOPE, THAT'S NOT ME...............I DON'T FIT INTO THE PUBLIC'S VIEW OF A "PRISONER'S WIFE."............I don't fit into the mold, that society casts upon prisoner's wives.......................

I AM JUST ME.........................FRAN....................THE WIFE OF JIMMY.......................TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!

I DO EVERYTHING THAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO, ON A DAILY BASIS..............I RUN THE HOUSEHOLD, WITH 3 PETS, AND A SMALL GARDEN ON MY PATIO..........I READ, ALTHOUGH I'M PARTIALLY BLIND, I WATCH TV, MOVIES, SING, LISTEN TO MUSIC, AND DANCE AROUND THE HOUSE.............I WRITE, AND HAVE GOTTEN AROUND 15 ARTICLES AND POEMS AND HAIKUS PUBLISHED IN THE PAST 3 .5 YEARS, SINCE JIMMY HAS BEEN IN PRISON.................YES, I WASH CLOTHES IN MY HOUSEHOLD, ON A DAILY BASIS..............I MOP THE KITCHEN AND BATHROOM FLOORS ON A DAILY BASIS....AND VACUUM THE CARPETS EVERY DAY, TOO..............................

I AM A WELL ORGANIZED PERSON.............I MAINTAIN A CERTAIN SCHEDULE FOR MYSELF, ON A DAILY BASIS...................I KEEP RECORDS OF THINGS, THAT YOU COULD NEVER IMAGINE!.......................if something or someone upsets me, i am right there writing a letter, or whatever to ever whom it may concern......i believe in my rights as a human being and citizen of Amerca...............I AM WELL KNOWN FOR WRITING "LETTERS TO THE EDITOR,' FOR MY FEELINGS ON DIFFERENT SUBJECTS...............

GOD HAS BLESSED ME VERY MUCH, THROUGHOUT MY LIFETIME...EVEN NOW, WITH A HUSBAND IN PRISON, I FIND WE ARE BEING BLESSED.............

YOU  CAN GO BACK TO THE BEGINNINGS OF THIS JOURNAL, WHERE I TALKED ABOUT MYSELF A LOT..........................

I WAS AN R. N. FOR 28 YEARS.............LOVED IT WHEN I DID IT, BUT HAPPY TO HAVE RETIRED AT THE AGE OF 48, FROM A VERY TAXING JOB............AM A FREE-LANCE WRITER, NOW....HAVE A BSN, FROM FAIRLEIGH DICKINSON UNIVERSITY, AND A MASTER'S IN EXECUTIVE NURSING FROM COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY, TEACHER'S COLLEGE.............HAVE BEEN LISTED IN EDITIONS OF "WHO'S WHO IN YOUNG AMERICAN PROFESSIONALS," AND IN "WHO'S WHO IN YOUNG AMERICAN EXECUTIVES."..BELONGED TO THE INTERNATIONAL HONOR SOCIETY IN EDUCATION, "KAPPA DELTA PI," (which DR. RUTH WESTHIEMER belonged to), HAD MED-SURG. CERTIFICATION, WAS CHOSEN WHILE WORKING IN LAS VEGAS, AS 'AMBASSADOR OF COURTESY IN LAS VEGAS,' NOMINATED BY ONE OF MY PATIENTS..................GRADUATED WITH A 3.8 CUM. AVERAGE FROM COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY, AND I AM CURRENTLY A DOCTORAL STUDENT THERE..............TRAVELLED TO 28 COUNTRIES..........SOME I WENT BACK TO 2 OR 3 TIMES, SUCH AS ENGLAND, ITALY, AND PARIS...........HAVE LIVED IN SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA, PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA, NEW YORK CITY FOR 16 YEARS, AND LAS VEGAS,FOR 10 YEARS,  AND NOW NEW JERSEY...............AM LICENSED AS AN RN IN 5 STATES....NEW JERSEY, NEW YORK, CALIFORNIA, NEVADA, AND WASHINGTON...............................SO, THAT'S ME!.................LOTS OF STUFF!...........FULL OF SURPRISES!.....................PEOPLE TELL ME I AM A FUN PERSON.................ALSO, THAT I AM A KNOWLEDGEABLE PERSON .........PEOPLE SAY I'M VERY FUNNY AND COMICAL, AS MY HUSBAND IS TOO, AND WE MAKE A GOOD TEAM............

IN MY JOURNAL, YOU HAVE SEEN ME GROW FROM A VERY DEPRESSED WOMAN, WHO COULD NOT EVEN GET OUT OF BED, THROUGHOUT THE YEARS OF WAITING.....................AND NOW, I AM UPLIFTED, AS JIMMY IS GETTING READY TO COME HOME FOR GOOD.......................HOWEVER, I WOULD DO IT AGAIN, AS I LOVE JIMMY.

I AM A WOMAN OF PROGRESS AND MOVING AHEAD..................I COULD NEVER BE STUCK IN A RUT, AS MANY PEOPLE ARE!

I FEEL EVERYONE SHOULD REACH FOR THEIR HIGHEST STAR IN LIFE!.................BE THE BEST THAT YOU CAN, AND DO THE BEST!

AND THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT FOR JIMMY AND MYSELF!................ACHIEVEMENT AND HELPING OTHERS.................TRYING TO MAKE THE WORLD A HAPPIER AND MORE PEACEFUL PLACE, AND A BETTER WORLD TO LIVE IN!

...............AND SO BE IT!...................THAT IS ME!..........sorry if i got side-tracked a little....THERE ARE SO MANY ASPECTS TO ME, THAT IT IS HARD TO WRITE THEM ALL DOWN.  THAT IS WHY JIMMY FELL IN LOVE WITH ME.....................I AM A MULTI-FACETED PERSON....AS HE IS, TOO.  THAT IS WHY WE ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE...............WE ARE ONE AND THE SAME, THAT'S WHY.

NOW, MAY I ASK, WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY, AND EVERYDAY?...............do you wash your clothes, and iron them, may i ask?................IF YOU ARE UP TO IT, PLEASE GIVE ME A "BLOW BY BLOW " DESCRIPTION OF YOUR DAY!

MY MOTTO IN LIFE CONSISTS OF 3 WORDS........."PEACE, BALANCE AND HARMONY."

IF HUMAN BEINGS ON OUR PLANET WOULD FOLLOW THIS, THERE WOULD BE NO MORE WARS, NO MORE SICKNESS, NO MORE TRAGEDY................THE WORLD WOULD BE A WONDERFUL PLACE TO LIVE IN, AS GOD INTENDED......................

NO HATRED, AND NO CRIMINALS, AND NO MORE PRISONS....................WELL, WE CAN ALL TRY TO MAKE THIS A BETTER WORLD, AS IT STARTS WITH ONE.

...........................fran