SUNDAY NITE

JIMMY WAS HOME TODAY, AND LEFT AT THE USUAL 8PM.  HE BOUGHT ME ONE DOZEN BEAUTIFUL LONG-STEMMED RED ROSES.  THEY ARE ON MY DINING ROOM TABLE, AND OH SO GORGEOUS!

THIS IS THE 3RD TIME IN JULY THAT HE HAS BOUGHT ME BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS ON HIS VISIT HOME.

TODAY WAS A VERY HOT AND HUMID DAY HERE IN NEW JERSEY. ....................HOWEVER, WE WERE AS COOL AS CAN BE IN OUR HOME!............ SO WE DID A LITTLE SHOPPING, WENT TO CHURCH, AND SIMPLY RELAXED AT HOME.  WE DID NOT COOK, BUT INSTEAD ORDERED IN...CHINESE FOOD, WHICH WAS DELICIOUS!

WE SMOOCHED AWAY, AND WERE IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS ALL DAY.  THE DOG AND 2 CATS ARE SO HAPPY WHEN DADDY IS HOME!

SO THAT'S ABOUT IT!.....................ALL PETS ARE TUCKED IN, AND SLEEPING NOW................THEY ARE LIKE LITTLE CHILDREN...................EXHAUSTED AND HAPPY AFTER DADDY'S VISIT HOME..................HAPPY AND PRANCING AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY, AND NOW ASLEEP WHEN DADDY IS GONE, AFTER ALL THE FUN ABD EXCITEMENT!

JIMMY CALLED ME WHEN HE GOT BACK, FOR A QUICK GOOD-NIGHT CALL.

AND NOW WE LOOK FORWARD TO THIS COMING WEDNESDAY, WHEN HE WILL RETURN HOME, AND THAT WILL BE HIS 14TH VISIT HOME............................

14TH AND STILL COUNTING................................

AND NOW, I WILL SAY GOOD-NIGHT TO YOU ALL, AND GO TO BED MYSELF!    ...............................FRAN

12 th visit home

JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, ON WEDNESDAY, ONCE AGAIN.  IOT WAS HIS 12TH  12 HOUR VISIT HOME.  HE WILL COME HOME AGAIN THIS COMING SUNDAY.

IT WAS A GREAT DAY, AS IT ALWAYS IS, WHEN JIMMY COMES HOME!................THE HOUSE IS ALL HAPPY AND AGLOW!....THE DOG IS VERY HAPPY, AND PRANCING AROUND THE HOUSE.....THE 2 CATS HAPPY AND CLIMBING ALL OVER JIMMY!..........JIMMY WALKS PRINCE SEVERAL TIMES ON EACH VISIT, AND PRINCE LOOKS BETTER THAN EVER WITH HISS ROUTINE WALKS............

JIMMY AND I KIND OF HAVE IT ALL WORKED OUT IN A SCHEDULE, TO MAKE THE MOST AND BEST OF OUR TIME TOGETHER...................

FIRST, WHEN HE ARRIVES HOME IN THE MORNING, WE GO OUT SHOPPING, TO THE STORES, TO PICK UP FOOD AND HOUSEHOLD THINGS THAT WE NEED.  WE MAY GO TO THE PHARMACY, BANK, AND TO THE CHURCH WE BELONG TO.  ALL THE PLACES HE IS ALLOWED TO GO TO, ARE PRE-APPROVED BY THE HALF-WAY HOUSE.. 

THEN, WE TRY TO BE BACK HOME BY 12 NOON, OR EARLIER....DEPENDING, AND JIMMY MAKES HIS CALLS TO THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, EACH STEP OF THE WAY.

ONCE HOME, JIMMY ENJOYS COOKING, AND DOING HOUSEHOLD THINGS................HE ALSO LIKES DOING THINGS ON THE COMPUTER, LIKE DOWNLOADING SONGS AND SHOWS ON THE IPOD HE BOUGHT ME.  I USUALLY SIT BY HIS SIDE , AS HE DOES THINGS.

THEN WE ENJOY DELICIOUS FOOD TOGETHER, AND WATCH TV.

WE TRY TO GET IN BED BY 2 OR 3 PM.  THEN WE HAVE A SOLID 5 OR 6 HOURS IN BED TOGETHER, AS WE ARE NOT TOGETHER AT NIGHT.  SO, ONCE IN BED, WE HAVE FUN, AS YOU CAN WELL IMAGINE!  WE ALSO WATCH TV...........DIFFERENT SHOWS ON HBO AND ON-DEMAND............WE WATCH A LOT OF FUNNY SHOWS,THAT KEEP US LAUGHING AND HAPOPY, SUCH AS "LUCKY LOUIE", NAD ALL THE BACK SHOWS OF LARRY DAVIS, WHICH I HAVE PREVIOUSLY SEEN, BUT BOTH OF US JUST LOVE THAT SHOW, AND LAUGH HYSTERICALLY................LAUGHTER IS VERY GOOD, FOR ALL OF US ................WE SPEND THIS TIME SIMPLY RELAXING, ANF JIMMY HOLDS ME IN HIS ARMS THE WHOLE TIME.  SOMETIMES WE FALL ASLEEP FOR A FEW MINUTES, WE ME STILL IN HIS ARMS.

AROUND 7:30 PM, JIMMY GETS UP, AND STARTS TO GET READY TO GO BACK.  HE THEN LIKES TO SIT NEXT TO ME , AND HOLD ME IN HIS ARMS, KISSING ME, ETC............SO, WE STAY LIKE THAT, FOR AT LEAST 1/2 HOUR.............JUST UNTITED WITH EACH OTHER, YOU MAY SAY.

SO, THAT IS PRETTY MUCH OUR "SCHEDULE!"            :)

HIS RELEASE DATE FROM THE HALF-WAY HOUSE IS AROUND 7 1/2 MORE WEEKS....................SO, THAT WILL BE AROUND 15 MORE VISITS HOME............

WHEN HE GETS BACK TO HOPE HALL, THE HALFWAY HOUSE, HE USUALL IS ABLE TO CALL ME, BEFORE THE 10 PM COUNT.  THEN, HE CALLS ME AROUND 6 AM, BEFORE HE GOES TO WORK.

SO, YOU SEE, WE HAVE A VERY STRONG UNION WITH EACH OTHER, AND FAMILY LIFE TOGETHER.

AND WHAT DID HE COOK YESTREDAY!    DELICIOUS RAVIOLIS WITH MEAT SAUCE.............THEY WERE VERY BIG AND OH SO JUICY!  ALSO, HE MADE CORNED BEEF.  HE MAKES SURE THAT I HAVE ENOUGH FOOD IN THE HOUSE TO EAT, UNTIL HIS NEXT VISIT HOME...................SO. I STILL HAVE CORNED BEEF, AND HE BOUGHT ME A ROASTED CHICJEN, COLE SLAW....THINGS LIKE THAT....................ALSO, I AM VERT MUCH INBTO FRUIT THIS YEAR!.............SO, EACH WEEK HE BUYS ME BIG, DELICIOUS STRAWBERRIES, AND YESTERDAY GIGANTIC, JUICY APRICOTS...........NEVER TASTED ANYTHING LIKE IT!

JIMMY HAS BEEN STOCKING UP OUR HOUSE WITH SO MUCH FOOD THAT I JOKE WITH HIM, THAT I NEED A BIGGER HOUSE FOR THE FOOD, AND ANOTHER REFRIDGERATOR!..................................THAT IS HOW JIMMY IS..................HE LOVES TO SEE HIS HOME FILLED WITH FOOD AND SUPPLIES.

WELL, YOU ALL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL, PEACEFUL DAY!..........................FRAN

THANK YOU

THANK YOU ALL, FOR YOUR COMMENTS, AND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND KINDNESS. 

PLEASE GO BACK TO THE PREVIOUS ENTRY, AND READ THE KIND AND SINCERE WORDS OF   "MANDY MEME,"   "CCOMECULO," AND  "BOBAND KATE."

IT IS PEOPLE LIKE THIS WHO ARE FULL OF LOVE, AND ARE AN ASSET TO OUR WORLD...........

I WAS TALKING TO MY FRIEND "JOE, " IN LAS VEGAS, WHO IS AN R.N., THAT I WORKED WITH FOR 10 YEARS.  ...........................AS JOE SAYS, "PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND UNLESS THEY THEMSELVES HAVE BEEN THERE."........................IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE....

AND, THIS DOES NOT ONLY PERTAIN TO THE "BAD" EXPERIENCES IN LIFE.

IT COULD BE A 'SPITITUAL RE-AWAKENING " OF SOME SORT...................OR AN "OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE, "OR A "NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE.".......................

WE JUST DON'T KNOW................UNLESS WE HAVE BEEN THERE.  AND EVEN THEN, EACH PERSON MAY EXPERIENCE IT IN A DIFFERENT WAY, ANYHOW.

WHAT IF YOU SUDDENLY, THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD, WON THE LOTTERY, TOMORROW, AND BECAME A MILLIONAIRE, OVER-NITE................................WOULD ANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE?  I DOUBT IT.  UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN THERE, YOU WOULD NOT, AND COULD NOT UNDERSTAND.

AND SO, MY FELLOW PRISON WIVES, WE ARE IN A UNIQUE POSITION IN LIFE.  WE ARE WHERE WE ARE, AND SO BE IT.  I DOUBT THAT ANY OF US HAVE EVER SAID HOW WE DON'T THINK OUR HUSBAND COMMITTED A CRIME, AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE IN PRISON. 

I KNOW THAT JIMMY AND I ALWAYS ADMIT AND AM SORRY FOR THE CRIME HE COMMITTED.  HOWEVER, THE PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNAL WAS TO SHARE MY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS WITH YOU..........................TO BRING YOU ALONG ON A VERY LONG AND DIFFICULT JOURNEY.

I , MYSELF, HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS JOURNEY BEFORE, IN LIFE.  SO IT PLEASES ME TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.

AND NOW, ON ANOTHER NOTE, JIMMY WILL ONCE AGIAN COME HOME TOMOPRROW, WEDNESDAY, FOR HIS 12 HOUR VISIT.

WE ARE ALWAYS SO EXCITED, AND HAVE THINGS PLANEED.

HOWEVER, IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER WHEN HE HAS TO GO BACK AT 8 PM.

WHY? .....................BECAUSE A HUSBAND'S PLACE IS AT HIS WIFE'S SIDE.........................TO SLEEP IN THE BED WITH HIS WIFE, NOT IN A ROOM WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF MEN!

A HUSBAND'S PLACE IS TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, NEXT TO HIS WIFE, AND FOR THEM TO JOYFULLY GO ABOUT THE DAY, DOING CONSTRUCTIVE THINGS, AND LEADING A HAPPY, PEACEFUL LIFE.

WELL, I AM NOW GETTING THE HOUSE READY FOR JIMMY NOW.  I AM WASHING THE BED SHEETS, MOPPING AND VACUUMING FLOORS, AND WILL SOON MAKE HIS PITCHER OF ICE TEA, WHICH I ALWAYS MAKE, AS HE LOVES IT!

BYE FOR NOW, AND PLEASE EVERYONE, HAVE A NICE DAY!

...................................FRAN

YOUR COMMENTS ARE REQUESTED.....

I POSTED THIS E-MAIL SENT TO ME, IN THE PREVIOUS ENTRY.  I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS.

THIS INDIVIDUAL SAID SOME NICE THINGS ABOUT THIS JOURNAL.  HOWEVER, TO ME, HE SAYS I HAVE TO CHANGE MY ATTITUDE.  I THINK HE IS WRONG, AND HAVE BEEN VERY SUPPORTIVE TO JIMMY FOR THE PAST 3.4 YEARS.  FOR ALL OF YOU WHO REALLY DON'T KNOW ME, I HAVE BEEN A RECLUSE FOR THE PAST 3.4 YEARS, WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND. I DEDICATED EVERY MOMENT TO JIMMY, AND HE DEDICATED EVERY MOMENT TO ME....... NOW, I AM VERY HAPPY, AND LIFE IS PROCEEDING ALONG.................WELL, EVERYBODY IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN OPINION IN LIFE................I HOPE AFTER THIS INDIVIDUAL SPENT TIME IN PRISON, THAT HE IS NOW A PRODUCTIVE INDIVIDUAL................FRAN

PS....IN ANSWER TO A COMMENT, JIMMY CAME HOME LAST MONDAY, ON 7/17.  AND HE IS COMING HOME TOMORROW , ON SATURDAY....WE ARE HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME TOGETHER...........

E mail fromareader

I would first like to compliment your writing in the journal. Your feelings come across exquisitely. And unfortunately I have to tell you that I feel your pain. I did over a year in prison in 1998 and I turned my life around and hopefully one day your husband will as well but before he does I think you need to change one perspective. The idea that the prison system sets out to destroy lives. I was in the prison system and I know it's rough but when you shift blame away from the perpetrator of the crime and blame other people for the consequences you fall right back into that criminal mentality and that leads to recidivism. Bottom line, I broke the law, I deserved my punishment, it was difficult at times but that's what happens when you break the law. Same thing with your husband, whatever happened to him in his journeys was as a result of his actions. He wasn't tortured in prison and jail isn't there to pamper you. They don't care if you have your underwear or not. So as intrigueing as your writing was, please, please, change that mentality or you'll find yourself writing to your husband maybe from Southwoods in the near future.

 

Good Luck

can't wait

JIMMY'S COMING HOME AGAIN, TOMORROW, AND I JUST CAN'T WAITTTTTTTTTTT  !

I FEEL SO JOYFUL, I AM IN ANOTHER REALM!

GOD IS GREAT, AND I REPEAT THAT OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

JIMMY CALLED ME SEVERAL TIMES TODAY, AND KEPT TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO BE HOME WITH ME TOMORROW!!!!!!

GOD BLESS EVERYONE WHO IS HERE , RIGHT NOW, READING THIS JOURNAL!.......................FRAN

jimmy's 9th pass home

IN ANSWER TO SOME OF THE COMMENTS........."YES, I'M VERY HAPPY."...................IT IS ALMOST COMPARABLE TO BEING IN HEAVEN!........YES, JUST TO SPEND 12 HOURS WITH YOUR HUSBAND, IN HIS ARMS...........

IT WAS A BRIGHT, SUNNY DAY, AND AS USUAL WE HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME.  JIMMY LOVES TO COOK, AND HE MADE POT ROAST IN THE CROCK POT, AND RIGATONI WITH MEAT SAUSE.  ONCE AGAIN, I MADE THE SALAD, AND FOR DESERT WE HAD CANTELOPE.

IN ONE WAY THE TIME SEEMS LIKE A LONG TIME, BECAUSE WE ACCOMPLISH SO MUCH....BUT ON THE OTHER HAND IT GOES BY SO QUICKLY, AND WE HATE TO KISS GOOD BYE AT 8PM..................IT SIMPLY SEEMS TO GET HARDER AND HARDER, BUT WE MUST GO ON AND FOLLOW THE RULES...................IT IS LIKE "NIGHT IS HERE....HEY, LET'S GO TO BED AND SLEEP IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS."...BUT HE MUST SAY GOOD BYE AND LEAVE.

WHEN HE ARRIVED BACK AT HOPE HALL TONITE, HE CALLED ME, AND THANKED ME FOR SUCH A NICE DAY......"ESPECIALLY THE LAST 2 HOURS,"  HE SAID WITH A SMILE...........................I LOVE LAYING IN MY HUSBAND'S ARMS, AND I COULD STAY THERE FOREVER.............WITH HIM PETTING MY HEAD, FONDLING MY HAIR, AND RUBBING MY HANDS AND ARMS...............

AND SO, THAT'S ABOUT IT FOR TONIGHT.  IN A LITTLE WHILE I'LL GO TO BED, ALONG WITH THE 2 CATS, AND PRINCE THE DOG.  EVERYONE HAD A BUSY DAY.  JIMMY WALKED PRINCE AT LEAST 4 OR MORE TIMES, AND SO HE IS A LITTLE TIRED.

AND OH YES.....JIMMY REMINDED ME ONCE, AGAIN  "YOU WAITED FOR ME , YOUR HUSBAND, FOR OVER 3 YEARS, FRAN, AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT."  THOSE WORDS TOUCHED MY HEART....

I ASK MYSELF NOW, AFTER ALMOST 3  1/2 YEARS OF WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND TO RETURN HOME FROM PRISON,   "WAS IT REALLY 3.4 YEARS?"................GEE, IN ONE WAY , I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WAS ACTUALLY YEARS..YES YEARS,  WHEN I REALLY ONLY FELT IT TO BE A FEW FLEETING MOMENTS.  WHY?  BECAUSE I LOVE MY HUSBAND, AND I'M  MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM, AND THAT'S WHY....................SO FOR US, WE CONQUERED THE PASSAGE OF TIME, AND IN REALITY, 'TIME,' IN MINUTES , DAYS AND YEARS NO LONGER EXISTS................OUR LOVE RISES ABOVE THAT!

         FRAN

THURSDAY THOUGHTS

HI EVERYONE!

JUST STOPPING BY TO SAY 'HI!" AND LET YOU KNOW THAT THINGS ARE GOING VERY WELL!

JIMMY WILL ONCE AGAIN COME HOME TOMORROW,...ARRIVING AT 8 AM, AND LEAVING AT 8 PM.  AT 10 AM HE WILL TAKE ME TO A ROUTINE DOCTOR'S VISIT...THEN WE WILL REST, AND LOVE, AND DO ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS TOGETHER.  WE REALLY JUST WANT TO BE IN EACJ OTHER'S ARMS..........ALONE AND AWAY FROM THE WORLD, FOR THOSE FEW HOURS!

I HAVE TO TELL YOU,  I AM A VERY HAPPY PERSON!  I AM NO LONGER THAT WOMAN YOU MET AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS JOURNAL..THAT WOMAN, WHO WAS ME AT THE TIME, WAS A VERY DEPRESSED PERSON.............A WOMAN WHO WAS DRAGGED THROUGH THE PRISON SYSTEM ALONG WITH HER HUSBAND.

HOWEVER, HAVING A STRONG FAITH, I DO SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.  I HAVE SINCE COME OUT OF THAT INTENSE BLACKNESS.  I HAVE ONCE AGAIN EMERGED INTO THE PERSON I ALWAYS WAS........CHEERFUL....OPTIMISTIC................A LOVING AND LAUGHING PERSON.

WHEN I STARTED THIS JOURNAL, I CHOSE TO SHARE WITH YOU, THE READER, A VERY TERRIBLE PART OF MYSELF, FROM A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE I WAS GOING THROUGH........

YOU ARE STILL IN MY HEARTS......ALL YOU WOMEN THAT ARE GOING THROUGH THE BLEAK AREAS OF HAVING YOUR HUSBAND LOCKED AWAY IN A PRISON...IT IS TERRIBLE.  A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE...THERE ARE SIMPLY NO OTHER WORDS TO EXPLAIN IT..............AND BELIEVE ME, ALTHOUGH THINGS HAVE TAKEN ON A MORE CHEERFUL NOTE IN MY LIFE, I WILL NEVER, NEVER....I PROMISE YOU, FORGET YOU.

STAY STRONG......HAVE FAITH.  ........KEEP DOING THOSE LITTLE THINGS EACH DAY, THAT KEEP YOU GOING, YOUR LOVE ALIVE, AND YOUR HOUSEHOLD TOGETHER.

I LOVE YOU.....I LOVE YOU ALL, DESPITE ALL THE OBSTACLES...WE MUST BE STRONG IN LIFE, AND FORGE AHEAD...............................FRAN

IPOD MADNESS!

WELL JIMMY CAME HOME AGAIN, YESTERDAY, SUNDAY, JULY 9, 2006.  IT WAS HIS 8TH VISIT HOME.  NEXT FRUDAY, HE WILL RETURN AGAIN TO ME.....

JIMMY IS SHOWERING ME NOT ONLY WITH LOVE, BUT WITH GIFTS TOO.  THIS WEEK, HE GAVE ME A BEAUTIFUL IPOD.THE TOP OF THE LINE, THE STATE OF ART.................I'M STILL LEARNING TO USE IT,  AND HAVING FUN DOING IT!  THIS APPLE IPOD HAS A 2 INCH SCREEN, AND CAN DOWNLOAD 7, 500 SONGS, ALONG WITH RADIO STAIONS, AND TV SHOWS, AND MOVIES................WOW!

AND SO, ONCE AGAIN WE HAD A GREAT TIME...LOVING, LAUGHING, JOKING, TALKING, HUGGING, KISSING, MAKING LOVE, COOKING, EATING, PLAYING.....WALKING PRINCE, AND PLAYING WITH THE CATS.....EVERYONE SO HAPPY!...............WHHHH1...........A LOT, BUT WE DO IT ALL IN THE 12 HOUR VISIT!..............THE MORE I SEE HIM, THE MORE I WANT HIM, AND CRAVE HIM.  AND IT IS THE SAME FOR HIM!

JIMMY COOKED DELICIOUS ROAST BEEF, ALONG WITH MASHED POTATOES, AND PEAS AND MUSHROOMS, AND ONIONS.....I MADE THE SALAD....

AND THAT'S OUR STORY............ONE OF LOVE AND DEDICATION..................

...............FRAN

JULY 1ST, MY BIRTHDAY

YESTERDAY, JULY 1ST, MY BIRTHDAY, WAS A GREAT DAY!.......JIMMY CAME HOME, AND WE HAD A WONDERFUL TIME!.................IT WAS OUR FIRST BIRTHDAY TOGETHER SINCE 2003, AND SO, IT WAS VERY SPECIAL!

WE WERE TOGETHER EVERY MOMENT, HOLDING AND KISSING EACH OTHER............

WE WENT OUT TO THE CHINESE RETAURANT, FOR A BITHDAY LUNCHEON.  THEN LATER THAT NIGHT, HE COOKED DELICIOUS STEAKS, WITH MUSHROOMS AND ONIONS AND SALAD...WE ATE PLEANTY, AND REALLY ENJOYED IT!

HE BROUGHT ME 3 BIRTHDAY CARDS, WHICH ARE GREAT!.  HE GAVE ME A BEAUTIFUL "IPOD," AND SOME JEWELRY......A CRYSTAL BRACELET AND 2 BEAUTIFUL NECKLACES.  HE ALSO HAD PRESENTED ME WITH A BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY BARBIE DOLL. 

IT WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY, AND I FEEL SO UPLIFTED TODAY.....................

NOW THAT JIMMY COMES HOME REGULARLY, I HAVE ONCE AGAIN BEGUN TO FEEL LIKE MY OLD SELF..............THE CALM, PEACEFUL WOMAN I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN.  I HAVE STOPPED LIVING AS A FEARFUL WOMAN, AS I WAS THESE PAST 3.3. YEARS.................

AND SO, LIFE GOES ON!......................PEACE AND JOY TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE!....................AND MY WISH IS THAT YOU ALL EXPERIENCE HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE!

....................FRAN

ps.....................I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL YOUR BIRTJHDAY WISHES AND E-CARDS!