Thursday, March 27, 2008

5 years to the day........March 28, 2003

5 YEARS AGO..................MARCH 28, 2003, JIMMY WENT TO JAIL.....THEN PRISON.

YOU SEE, JIMMY ALWAYS SAID IT WOULD ONLY BE AROUND 6  MONTHS, AND HE WOULD GET HOUSE ARREST.............HE TOLD ME THAT OVER AND OVER, SINCE WE GOT MARRIED IN 2001.

THOSE SIX MONTHS TURNED INTO 3 1/2 YEARS.

JIMMY WANTED ME HERE IN JERSEY WITH HIM...........SO, I LEFT ALL MY FRIENDS AND THE PEOPLE I KNEW BACK IN VEGAS............OVER HERE, I BARELY KNEW ANYONE,  AND THOSE I KNEW, REALLY DID NOT CARE ABOUT ME............

SO, I WAS HAPPY TO BE NEAR MY HUSBAND.

BUT THOSE 3 1/2 YEARS WERE TOUGH FOR ME.

JIMMY SAYS PRISON IS REALLY NO STRUGGLE FOR HIM.  AFTER ALL, HE'D BEEN THERE BEFORE.

HE SIMPLY OBEYED THE RULES AND FOLLOWED HIS ORDERS..........HE WOKED IN THE PRISON AND SAW PEOPLE..............AS FOR ME, I SAW NO ONE AND NEVER TALKED..................YOU SEE, I BECAME A RECLUSE FOR 3 1/2 YEARS.

RECENTLY MY SISTER WHO LIVES 5 MINUTES FROM HERE TOLD MY HUSBAND, "I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE IN PRISON. I KNEW THE ACTUAL DAY YOU WENT IN."...........................NOW, I ASK ALL OF YOU OUT THERE," ISN'T THIS JUST SHOCKING TO KNOW.................

SHE NOW SAYS SHE FELT IT WAS A PERSONAL MATTER, AND SHE DIDN'T WANT TO INTERFERE

ISN'T SHE SO VERY NICE, I ASK YOU??????????????????

SO.I WAS ALONE FOR 3 1/2 YEARS.

SPOKE LITTLE AND ACTUALLY HATED EVERYONE.......ACTUALLY I HATED THE WHOLE WORLD.

NOW AFTER 5 YEARS, JIMMY AND I REMINESSED ABOYT IT A LITTLE WHILE AGO.

THAT NIGHT, JIMMY SAT ON THE CHAIR NEAR THE BED, AND I WENT TO HIM AND SAID,  "LET'S GO RIGHT NOW. LET'S RUN AWAY.  PUT THE ANIMALS IN THE CAR, AND WE HAVE PLENTY OF MONEY."

JIMMY SAID "NO."

HE COULD NOT DO IT TO HIMSELF, OR ME.  HE HAD TO DO IT AND GET I DONE AND OVER WITH.  HE SAID, " ONCE WE RUN, WE WILL HAVE TO RUN FOREVER, AND THEN I MIGHT GET CAUGHT AND WILL HAVE EVEN A LONGER TERM.'  "NO....I  LOVE YOU AND CANNOT DO IT TO YOU."

AND SO THAT FATEFULL NIGHT, WE GOT INTO BED, AND JIMMY HELD ME ALL NITE.............SO TIGHT,I THOUGHT MY BONES WOULD BREAK.

TRUTHFULLY, THAT WAS ONE NIGHT I COULD NOT EVEN MAKE LOVE TO JIMMY..............."I JUST WAS NOT N THE MOOD.".................I WAS TOO DEPRESSED...........TO O UPSET..........TOO SCARED...................TOO UNHAPPY........................................................YOU NAME IT, AND I WAS IT!

AT 4 AM, WE GOT UP.  JIMMY TOOK ME AND SAT ME DOWN IN THE CHAIR. HE WENT OVER EVERYTHING I WAS TO KNOW.  I HAD A LITTLE NOTEBBOK, AND JIMMY TOLD ME ALL THE THINGS TO DO IN THE HOUSEHOLD.

THEN WE WENT BACK TO BED.

JIMMY'S FATHER AND HIS FRIEND CARMEN CAME TO PICK HIM UP TO TAKE HIM TO COURT...........AND YES, THOSE BASTARDS CAME AN HOUR EARLY, ON PURPOSE.............WE WANTED OUR PRIVATE TIME TOGETHER, SO JIMMY MADE THEM WAIT.......................

AS JIMMY WALKED OUT THE FRONT DOOR, I STOOD IN FRONT OF HIM..............I LEANED OVER, ONTO HIS CHEST AND SAID, "THIS IS SURREAL. I CAN'T BELIEVE THS IS HAPPENING."

AND THEN, IN A FLASH HE WAS GONE........

THE HOUSE WAS SO SILENT.

I BEGGED TO GO TO COURT WITH HIM, BUT HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE THEM PUTTING HANDCUFFS ON HIM, AND TAKING HIM TO THE JAIL.................HIS FATHER DROPPED HIM OFF IN FRONT OF THE COURTHOUSE...........ISN'T THAT NICE!................JUST AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED.  JIMMY HAD ASKD HIS FATHER TO BUY ME A JAR OF MAYO..............THAT FATBER IN LAW IS SO NICE, THAT HE LEFT THE JAR ON THE FRONT PORCH, AS I STAYED IN THE HOUSE IN A TOTAL DAZE.

I WAITED FOR JIMMY'S CALL/

NO FOOD. NO DRINK................NO TV...........NO RADIO...........................I SAT AND SIMPLY STARRED AT THE WALL.

I LOST 75 LBS. IN 7 MONTHS...............I COULD COT EAT ANYMORE.

AFTER A FEW DAYS, I LOOKED AT BEDSIDE.  SITTING THERE WAS A CAN OF DIET COFE I HAD OPENED A FEW DAYS AGO.  THEN I REALIZES I JUST HAD TO FORCE MYSELF TO GO TO THE KITCHEN FOR SOME FOOD AND DRINK.

BOW, AFTER 5 YEARS, THINGS ARE GOING VERY WELL.............IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE SAILING AHEAD.

THE OTHER DAY I TOLD JIMMY THAT I FEEL LIKE I NEVER HAD THE STROKE 1 1/2 YEARS AGO.   MY SPEECH IS SUDSENLY PERFECT, AND MY COGNITVE  ABILITY IS BETTER THAN EVER.....................DON'T FORGET, THOUGH, THAT I AM BLIND.............LIKE THE NEW GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK!

SEE YOU ALL LATER!

FRAN AND JIMMY

 

2 comments:

am4039 said...

I'm happy your feeling good and that Jimmy is home with you now. I know that was so hard on you.

mandymeme4910 said...

So good to hear from you....i moved to mexico with my honey because he was deported..i was there for about 3 months and had to come back...i'm not sure i can handle it there as life is so very different. I miss him so much and i'm not sure what we are going to do. It's hard because he cant be here in the states..so i just take it one day at a time. I almost feal like he is in prison again as he is not here with me and i'm not sure he will ever be able to be here. Well i dont want to vent to much..but it was awesome hearing from you all. God Bless