SOME THOUGHTS

WE ARE BOTH VERY HAPPY, BECAUSE THE CELL PHONE THAT WAS CONFISCATED BY KINTOCK, ON THE DECEMBER 2005 NIGHT, THAT UNRIGHTOUSLY SENT JIMMY BACK TO PRISON., IS NOW AT 'SOUTHWOODS STATE PRISON," IN THE MAILROOM.  THAT CELL PHONE WAS NOT AN ORDINARY PHONE....IT WAS AN $850.00 CELL PHONE, THAT BELONGED TO THE IGA FOODSTORE IN ATLANTIC CITY, WHERE JIMMY WAS WORKING AS STORE MANAGER....SO, WE ARE HAPPY THAT KINTOCK ONCE AGAIN DID THE RIGHT THING!....(i was originally told by Kintock, that the cell phone was donated to the abused women's shelter).  SO I CALLED SOUTHWOODS TODAY AND SPOKE WITH INVESTIGATOR....AND NOW WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF OBTAINING THE PHONE.

WELL, LIFE GOES On!....WE ARE STILL COUNTING THE DAYS...KEEPING BUSY....HOPING THIS WHOLE ORDEAL WILL SOON BE OVER, SO LIFE CAN GO ON FOR US........IT IS TERRIBLE LIVING A LIFE THAT ISS ACTUALLY, "ON-HOLD," WHILE THE REST OF THE WORLD PROGRESSES AHEAD......ONE YEAR GOING THROUGH THIS IS BAD, TWO IS TERRIBLE, AND BY 3 YEARS IT IS A NIGHT-MARE.......I DON'T KNOW HOW WOMEN MAKE IT THROUGH 10 OR MORE YEARS........i believe AT SOME POINT, A WOMAN WILL SUBSTITUTE SOMETHING ELSE IN HER LIFE, FOR HER LIFE  TO BE NORMAL.....AS FOR ME, AT MY AGE, I WAIT FOR MY HUSBAND...AND I KEEP BUSY WHILE I DO IT...

WELL, HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD NITE............FRAN

35 MORE DAYS, TIL PAROLE...

IT'S NOW 35 DAYS UNTIL JIMMY COMES HOME ON PAROLE.  AS OF TOMORROW, MONDAY, IT WILL BE 5 WEEKS....YES, 5 SIMPLE WEEKS.....JIMMY IS AS HAPPY AS CAN BE WHEN I TALK TO HIM....AS FOR MYSELF, I'M VERY HAPPY, TOO, BUT I HAVE LEARNED FOR THE THREE YEARS THAT MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN IN THE PRISON SYSTEM, TO NEVER BE THAT HAPPY THAT YOU LET GO OF YOUR EMOTIONS...WHAT I'M SAYING IS, THAT THIS EXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT ME TO BE "GUARDED,"....MORE THAN EVER I "GUARD" MY FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS....I NEVER WANT TO LET GO OF MYSELF TOO MUCH, BECAUSE IF I AM DISAPPOINTED, ONCE AGAIN, I DON'T WANT TO LET IT AFFECT ME IN A BAD WAY............

AND SO., I AM QUIET THESE DAYS, JUST LETTING LIFE "UNFOLD."  I DO THE NORMAL THINGS IN LIFE, ACTUALLY LEADING A VERY BORING, MUNDANE EXISTENCE........I EVEN "BORE " MYSELF, IF THAT IS POSSIBLE!.......ONLY MY HUSBAND KEEPS TELLING ME, I AM THE MOST EXCITING AND INTERESTING WOMAN HE EVER MET.................I DO THE HOUSEWORK, TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS, COOK, WASH THE DISHES, WASH THE CLOTHES.....EVERYTHING DONE SIMPLY....NO FUSS, NO MUSS.........WONDERING, BUT TRYING NOT TO THINK OF WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS......

OF COURSE, AS YOU ALL KNOW, I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY HUSBAND TO COME HOME,AND HOLD AND TOUCH ME.......BUT SOMETIMES I JUST HAVE TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT IT, AND TRY TO GET THROUGH EACH BORING DAY. ALONE.........SOMETIMES IT IS SIMPLY 'EXHAUSTING, ' TO KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE WONDERFUL MAN I MARRIED, AND HOW MUCH I CRAVE HIM, AND AM IN LOVE WITH HIM..........SO SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES, LIKE TODAY, I STOP 'THINKING, " AND JUST  "EXIST."...........IT IS MUCH EASIER THAT WAY, AND LESS PAINFUL............

TO BE A PRISONER'S WIFE IS A VERY STRANGE EXISTENCE....WE LIVE IN OUR OWN PLACE OF TIME AND SPACE.............AS FOR MYSELF, YOU COULD ALMOST SAY THAT WITHIN THESE 3 YEARS , I HAVE PRETTY MUCH BECOME A RECLUSE.........THE ONLY THING I LIKE TO DO , IS WRITE.........I DON'T LIKE GOING OUT ANYMORE, AS I ONCE WAS VERY ACTIVE.....I ENJOY DOING WHAT I DO EVERYDAY..AND THAT IS, ALMOST NOTHING...I EXIST IN MY OWN LITTLE BUBBLE........TAKING CARE OF MYSELF, THE PETS, THE HOUSE......DOING THINGS LIKE WATCHING TV, READING, SINGING, AND WRITING...........JIMMY SAYS I AM THE ONE PERSON HE EVER MET WHO IS METICULOUS ABOUT KEEPING RECORDS, AND GETTING THINGS DONE ON TIME....SO, HE'S RIGHT.......I HAVE MANY, MANY NOTEBOOKS THAT I WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN IN...FINANCES, DATES...WHATEVER, YOU NAME IT!  I KEEP TRACK OF IT, WRITTEN DOWN..I MUST HAVE AROUND 20 MOTEBOOKS I HAVE WRITTEN THINGS DOWN IN DURING THESE 3 YEARS OF JIMMY BEING AWAY.......I AM A PERSON WHO MAKES LISTS AND LISTS....JIMMY SAYS THAT TURNS HIM ON!......WHEN I FIRST MET JIMMY I STOPPED WRITING LISTS, AND I THINK IT'S BECAUSE HE HANDLED EVERYTHING, AND I WAS VERY RELAXED.......

WELL, I THINK I'LL GO CHECK OUT WHAT MOVIES ARE ON  "ON -DEMAND," THEN GO TO SLEEP....TOMORROW I HAVE TO VENTURE OUT TO THE FOODSTORE, NOT EXACTLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO!...........FRAN

JIMMY JUST CALLED

JIMMY JUST CALLED...JUST ONE MORE TIME TODAY.  I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED, AS HE NEVER CALLS THIS LATE (8:10). ....HOWEVER, HE SAID HE HAD TO CALL ME, BECAUSE HE FELT MY PRESENCE ALL OVER HIM...HE SAID HE JUST YEARNED SO MUCH TO HOLD ME AND KISS ME....WHEN HE CALLED ME, I MYSELF, WAS SITTING HERE, YEARNING FOR HIM....I WAS SAYING OUT LOUD TO MYSELF, "I WISH JIMMY WERE HERE.  ALL I WANT TO DO IS KISS HIM, AND BE IN HIS LOVING ARMS."...........AND THEN, AMAZINGLY, HE CALLED, WITH THE SAME FEELINGS......

IT IS SO HARD TO EXPLAIN TO ANYONE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS.........TO BE SEPERATED FROM THE ONE PERSON YOU LOVE.........YOU CRAVE THAT PERSON...AND NO OTHER PERSON CAN FULFILL YOU...BECAUSE NO OTHER PERSON EXISTS ON OUR PLANET, LIKE THE ONE YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH..........

IN THE 2 YEARS WE WERE TOGETHER, AS HUSBAND AND WIFE, BEFORE JIMMY WAS INCARCERATED, WE WERE NEVER SEPERATED....WE WERE TOGETHER 24/7........DURING THE FIRST YEAR OF OUR MARRIAGE, I WORKED AS AN RN IN A HOSPITAL, AND LEAVING TO GO TO WORK, BECAME MORE  AND MORE DIFFICULT....JIMMY WOKE ME UP IN THE EVENING TO GO TO WORK, HE MADE ME LUNCH, HE WALKED ME TO THE CAR....I CALLED HIM ON MY CELL WHEN I GOT TO WORK...WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE THROUGHOUT MY SHIFT........AND MANY TIMES, I WOULD LOOK UP, AND THERE WAS JIMMY WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY, COMING TO VISIT ME, CARRYING PIZZAS, AND ALL SORTS OF FOOD FOR THE STAFF!....AND IN THE MORNING WHEN I ARRIVED HOME, IT CONTINUED....HE HAD BREAKFAST MADE FOR ME...HE SAT ME DOWN, AND SERVED ME, AND WE TALKED...THEN WE WENT UPSTAIRS TOGETHER, TO BED.........AND HE SLEPT WITH ME, OR SAT WITH ME THROUGHOUT THE DAY, AS I HAD TO RETURN TO WORK THAT NIGHT, AGAIN....HE COOKED FOR ME, HE SHOPPED.....HE TOOK CARE OF THE HOUSEHOLD, THE PETS......AND HE LOVED TO TAKE CARE OF ME....HE GAVE ME MANICURES, AND PEDICURES....HE BROUGHT ME TO THE BEAUTY PARLOR....HE BROUGHT ME SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES, AND JEWELRY.....HE EVEN HELPED ME GET DRESSED FOR WORK.......

......WE GOT TO THE POINT THAT NEITHER OF US COULD STAND BEING APART......AFTER 1 YEAR OF MARRIAGE, I RETIRED FROM NURSING, AND WAS ABLE TO STAY HOME FULL TIME, WITH JIMMY........WELL, GUESS WHAT!....WE STILL NEVER GOT TIRED OF EACH OTHER!........TALKING, LIVING, LAUGHING, AND YES, MAKING LOVE, AND MORE LOVE....(smile).......SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW HARD IT IS NOW, BEING APART FOR 3 YEARS...........I DON'T WISH THIS ON ANYONE..........FOR ME, IT IS THE MOST CRUEL THING TO BE SEPERATED FROM THE MAN I LOVE, AND AM PART OF.............

WELL. I COULD GO ON AND ON............

EARLIER TODAY, DURING OUR 5:30 pm CALL, JIMMY TOLD ME THAT THE PRISON WHERE HE IS STAYING, WILL NOT ACCEPT THE NEWSPAPER ARTICLES I HAVE BEEN SENDING HIM, NOR THE CROSS-WORD PUZZLES I HAD  CUT OUT OF A MAGAZINE.......THAT HAPPENS TO BE THE RULE THERE....I DIDN'T KNOW IT, BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW, THE PRISONS DO NOT INFORM THE WIFE/FAMILY OF THE RULES THAT NEED TO BE FOLLOWED.......IT WOULD BE MUCH EASIER, AND MORE ORGANIZED IF THEY MAILED OUT A LIST OF  RULES TO THE WIVES.....BUT WHO AM I TO SAY?.........ANYHOW, I AM NOW WAITING TO SEE IF THE 3 BOOKS I SENT HIM, WILL GO THROUGH......JIMMY AND I LAUGHED ON THE PHONE....I SAID, "IT DOESN'T MATTER FOR MOST, SINCE 99.9%  OF THOSE MEN YOU ARE WITH DON'T CARE ABOUT READING ANYTHING ANYHOW, NO LESS ARTICLES FROM THE NEWSPAPER.".......AND SO IT IS TRUE....MY MATH MIGHT BE A LITTLE OFF-BALANCE, BUT MY HUSBAND FALLS IN THE 1% THAT READS LOCAL, NATIONAL, AND GLOBAL NEWS, ON A ROUTINE BASIS.......YES, IT IS TORTURE FOR A MAN TO BE COMPLETELY CUT OFF FROM RHE OUTSIDE WORLD.....AND SO, I AM SO USED TO TELLING JIMMY EVERYTHING I CAN IN HOSE 15 MINUTE CALLS.......BESIDES PROFESSING OUR LOVE, I TRY TO KEEP HIM SOMEWHAT ABREAST OF NEWS IN OUR WORLD.........CURRENT EVENTS........

I WILL GO LAY IN BED NOW......THAT IS ALWAYS WHAT I DO WHEN I MISS JIMMY.......THAT IS THE ONE PLACE I FEEL HIS PRESENCE MOST.......YES, HE STILL HOLDS ME IN HIS ARMS, AS I LAY IN OUR BED....

NITE!.......FRAN

SOME GOOD NEWS!

HI EVERYONE!....I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS!.....JIMMY CALLED ME AT 11:30 am, AS HE USUALLY DOES EACH DAY, AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE CAN NOW BE OUT OF HIS CELL FOR 17 HOURS PER DAY.......NOW THAT HE HAS A JOB AS A "RUNNER, " HE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE LOCKED UP IN THAT SMALL CELL, 8X9 FT, ALL DAY, EVERYDAY.  HOWEVER, HE WAS MOVED INTO ANOTHER CELL, WHICH IS UPSTAIRS, WHERE THOSE THAT ARE LET OUT OF THEIR CELLS ARE LOCATED.  HE IS STILL IN THE SAME SIZE CELL, AND NOW HAS A NEW BUNK MATE.  THERE ARE 3 OTHER FELLOWS THAT ARE RUNNERS, ONE OF THEM BEING MIKE, HIS FORMER BUNK MATE....MY HUSBAND IS A VERY ACTIVE MAN, AND SO THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR HIM...TRUTHFULLY, I CAN'T IMAGINE MY HUSBAND BEING LOCKED UP IN A SMALL PLACE FOR TOO LONG,AS HE LOVES TO MOVE AROUND, WALK, AND DO THINGS....SO, NOW AS A RUNNER, HE PASSES FOOD TRAYS, MOPS THE FLOOE, AND GIVES OUT SUPPLIES TO THE OTHER INMATES. 

WHEN JIMMY CALLED ME, HE WAS WRITING A LETTER TO A FRIEND.  JIMMY SOUNDS VERY HAPPY, AS IS ALWAYS HIS NORMAL SELF......HE ALWAYS MAKES THE BEST OF EVERY SITUATION......HE IS ALWAYS JOKING, AND HE MAKES OTHERS SMILE AND LAUGH........

WE ARE STILL COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS TILL PAROLE.....I HAVE THE CALENDER HE MADE FOR ME HANGING UP IN THE BEDROOM......IT IS 38 DAYS TILL PAROLE...............I STILL SEND JIMMY  A CARD EVERYDAY...I FOUND SOME UNIQUE CARDS IN A STORE, WITH BEAUTIFUL PIX OF ANIMALS, AND NATURE.  I HAVE SENT HIM SO FAR, A CARD OF A TIGER'S FACE, A JAGUAR WALKUNG IN FRONT OF A BIG MOON, AND TODAY, A BEAUTIFUL CAMP-SITE AT NIGHT..........I ALSO CONTINUE TO SEND HIM LARGE MANILLA ENVELOPES FILLED WITH NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS OF THINGS THAT INTEREST HIM, AND COMPUTER PRINT-OUTS............WE BOTH ARE DOING AS MUCH POSSIBLE TO SIMPLY PASS THE TIME, AND NOT THINK ABOUT IT.

I ALSO SENT HIM 3 PAPERBACK BOOKS , THAT I ORDERED ON-LINE THROUGH, THROUGH BARNES AND NOBLE, SO HE SHOULD GET THEM IN A FEW DAYS....I'M SENDING HIM A LATIN GRAMMER BOOK, (WHICH HE REQUESTED), THE DAVINCI CODE DE-CODED, AND "MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA."........JIMMY JUST LOVES TO READ.......HE'S ABOUT THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW WHO HAS READ ALL OF JAMES MICHENER'S NOVELS......(THOSE BOOKS ARE OVER A 1000 PAGES LONG)........HE READ A FEW WHILE AT BAYSIDE PRISON....HE LIKES A STORY THAT IS FICTIONAL, AND YET HISTORICAL TOO...SO HE CAN LEARN FROM IT.

WELL, I'LL TAKE PRINCE FOR A WALK NOW, AS IT IS A BRIGHT SUNNY DAY!.................FRAN

KINTOCK DOES THE RIGHT THING

HI EVERYONE!   I MUST TELL YOU WHAT JIMMY TOLD ME ON THE PHONE TODAY.....HE SAYS THAT IT APPEARS THAT KINTOCK, THE HALF-WAY HOUSE WHERE HE WAS STAYING, SEEMS TO HAVE DEPOSITED AROUND $200.00 INTO HIS BANK ACCOUNT, ACCORDING TO THE BANK STATEMENT HE RECEIVED, TODAY........WE THINK THAT IS THE $210.00  MONEY ORDER THAT WAS MISSING, ON THE NIGHT HE WAS SENT TO BACK TO PRISON.  JIMMY AND I ARE VERY THANKFUL FOR THIS.  HOWEVER, MONEY IS STILL MISSING, THAT HASN'T BEEN ACCOUNTED FOR....I AM IN THE PROCESS OF TRACING THAT CHECK , WHICH IS STILL MISSING  (HIS LAST PAYCHECK FROM THE STORE HE WAS WORKING IN)....I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT ANYONE WOULD ILLEGALLY CASH THAT CHECK...AFTER ALL, THAT IS FRAUD...A FEDERAL CRIME TO SIGN SOMEONE ELSE'S CHECK....SO, WE ARE HOPING EVERYTHING WILL SOON BE CLEARED UP......

YES, THE DAYS ARE GOING BY NOW......THEY ARE ACTUALLY GOING BY FAST NOW, AS I AM KEEPING BUSY DOING A LOT OF THINGS...JIMMY IS , TOO.

"SUGAR"  (in a comment)  SUGGESTED I SEND JIMMY A CROSSWORD PUZZLE BOOK.  I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT IN THE PRISON HE IS IN, WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEND ANY TYPE OF BOOK, OR MAGAZINE.  SO, WHAT I DID IS, I  BOUGHT A CROSSWORD BOOK, AND RIPPED THE PAGES OUT, AND I AM MAILING THEM TO HIM SEPERATELY EVERYDAY....JIMMY ENJOYS CROSSWORD PUZZLES, AND IT WILL KEEP HIS MIND OCCUPIED  (NOT THAT I'M AFRAID HE NEEDS THAT, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND'S MIND IS ALWAYS 'THINKING.")

THE ONLY BOOKS THAT CAN BE SENT TO THIS PRISON, ARE ONLY PAPERBACK, AND THEY MUST BE ORDERED AND SENT DIRECTLY FROM THE BOOKSTORE....SO, I SENT HIM A BOOK ON "LATIN GRAMMER," WHICH HE REQUESTED....SO HE CAN "BRUSH UP ON LATIN," WHILE IN PRISON   :)

ALSO, AFTER I FINISH HERE, I WILL GO TO AMAZON.COM, AND ORDER HIM ANOTHER PAPERBACK BOOK...HE IS REQUESTING I FIND HIM A HISTORICAL NON-FICTION BOOK...OK, I GUESS I HAVE MY WORK CUT OUT FOR ME!....MY HUSBAND IS IN MANY WAYS A 'COMPLEX PERSON,' AND WHY CAN'T HE THINK OF A BOOK THAT IS EASY FOR ME TO PICK OUT!

(jimmy would like "THE DAVINCI CODE," but the paperback is not due out til March)

SO THAT'S ABOUT IT!..........JIMMY AND I HOPE THAT EVERYONE OUT THERE FINDS THE PERSON IN THEIR LIFE, WHOMTHEY TRULY LOVE AND ARE CONNECTED WITH.......IT MAKES OUR JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE , SO MUCH MORE MEANINGFUL , AND ENJOYABLE!.............

GOOD-NIGHT!...............FRAN

41 DAYS TILL PAROLE

HI EVERYONE!..........YES, IT'S ONLY 41 DAYS TILL PAROLE!...TIME IS IN ONE WAY MOVING FAST, BECAUSE JIMMY AND I HAVE INVOLVED OURSELVES, FOR THIS PERIOD OF TIME , IN TASKS THAT WILL MOVE THE TIME QUICKLY AHEAD.....I HAVE BEEN SENDING JIMMY LOADS AND LOADS OF MAIL, GOING TO THE POST OFFICE, ALMOST EVERYDAY.........I SEND HIM PRINT-OUTS OF ARTICLES ON THE COMPUTER, AND CLIPPINGS FROM MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS, SO HE CAN KEEP ABREAST OF THE CURRENT NEWS............I SEND HIM THE DAILY CROSS-WORD PUZZLES, FROM THE NEWSPAPER.  ALSO, TODAY, I BOUGHT HIM A DIFFERENT CARD FOR THE NEXT 5 DAYS......EVERYDAY I WILL SEND HIM A CARD....CARDS THAT ARE VERY PRETTY, WITH ANIMALS AND NATURE...........WE CONTINUE TO TALK, 2 OR 3 TIMES PER DAY, EVEN THOUGH MY PHONE BILLS ARE LIKE $700..(AND MUCH MORE RIGHT NOW)......NO ONE, I REPEAT, NO ONE CAN KEEP US SEPERATED..........

IN THE MEANTIME, JIMMY IS BUSY AT "CRAF."  HE IS MOPPING FLOORS, PASSING OUT FOOD TRAYS, AND GIVING SUPPLIES TO INMATES..........MY HUSBAND IS A JOY TO HAVE AROUND, IN ANY SITUATION!........WHY?  BECAUSE HE LOVES TO WORK, AND GET OTHERS TO WORK, AND PRODUCE..........YES, JIMMY IS MOST CERTAINLY A BORN "LEADER," AND IT IS NOT ONLY I THAT SAYS THAT............YESTERDAY, SOMEONE IN MANAGEMENT FROM IGA FOODSTORE CALLED ME, AND SAID JIMMY IS NEEDED IN THAT STORE, WHEN HE GETS OUT ON PAROLE, ESPECIALLY FOR HIS LEADERSHIP SKILLS....WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR FOODSTORE, THAT COULD POSSIBLY CLOSE, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN SENT BACK TO PRISON, BY KINTOCK, UNNECESSARILY.........IF THE STORE CLOSES, THAT MEANS A LOT OF PEOPLE, I SUPPOSE THOUSANDS, WILL LOSE THEIR JOBS....THIS IS A SHAME........

IN RESPONSE TO A COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY.......JIMMY NEVER VIOLATED HIS PAROLE......YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, SO I WISH YOU WOULD STOP SAYING FALSE THINGS HERE...........YOU ARE JUST A JEALOUS INDIVIDUAL, WHO HAS NEVER FOUND  TRUE LOVE............YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS........IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD START PRAYING THAT GOD SENT ME SOMEONE IN MY LIFE, THAT I  COULD KNOW WHAT "ABSOLUTE" LOVE IS......

the countdown.....

JIMMY CALLED ME THIS MORNING TO WAKE ME UP...."THE COUNTDOWN HAS STARTED, HONEY,"  HE SAID HAPPILY INTO THE PHONE.  "ONLY 45 MORE DAYS TO GO.  AS OF THIS MONDAY, IT WILL BE 6 MORE WEEKS."

AND SO, THAT'S HOW IT GOES......I TOLD HIM HOW GOOD I FEEL, AND ALL MY "ACHES AND PAINS" HAVE GONE AWAY!  IT GOES TO SHOW YOU, JUST HOW THE MIND AFFECTS THE BODY...HOWEVER WHEN IT IS HAPPENING TO YOU, IT IS VERY HARD TO CONVERT YOUR THOUGHTS...........WHATEVER POISEN WAS IN ME...WELL, IT IS GONE NOW.   WHAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IS HOW CRIMINALS KEEP COMMITTING CRIMES, AND GOING THROUGH THIS PROCESS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.........AS FOR MYSELF, I THRIVE WHEN ALL IS AT PEACE AND LIFE IS IN BALANCE......I NEED TO BE SURROUNDED BY LOVE, HAPPINESS, AND SUNSHINE..........I NEED TO KEEP MY HOUSEHOLD AS BALANCED AND AS PEACEFUL AS I CAN.......AND SO, NOW WE STRIVE TOWARDS THAT.......

JIMMY SENT ME A HOME-MADE CALENDER, OF THE DAYS TILL HE COMES HOME.......I HAVE IT HANGING ON MY BEDROOM WALL...I CROSS OFF EACH DAY....45 DAYS ARE LEFT.....SOMEONE HERE, SUGGESTED I MAKE A CHAIN OF THE NUMBER OF DAYS LEFT, AND THEN TAKE A CHAIN OFF EACH DAY TILL PAROLE.  THAT IS A GOOD IDEA, TOO.

JIMMY IS STILL WORKING AS A RUNNER.  THAT IS, GIVING OUT TRAYS, MOPPING THE FLOOR....HE ENJOYS HELPING OUT, AND THAT CAN GET RID OF SOME OF HIS ENERGY, AS HE HAS A LOT OF THAT.........HE CAN NOW SIT OUTSIDE HIS CELL TO EAT HIS MEALS, WHERE THERE IS A SMALL TABLE.  FOR BREAKFAST TODAY THEY HAD WHAT IS SUPPOSSED TO BE "CHIPPED BEEF."  BUT WHAT IT REALLY WAS, IS GROUND TURKEY IN SOME SORT OF CREAMED SAUCE..........YUK!

MY HUSBAND HAS ALREADY REQUESTED WHAT HE'D LIKE TO EAT WHEN HE COMES HOME........IT IS A COICE BETWEEN TURKEY (he loves how i make turkey), MEATLOAF, OR POT ROAST.....HE WANTS ONE OF THESE ON HIS FIRST DAY HOME.  I THINK I'LL MAKE THE POT ROAST, BECAUSE I MADE IT ON HIS FURLOUGH, AND HE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT  (I HAVE A SPECIAL WAY OF MAKING IT IN THE WOK, SO IT STAYS JUICY, AND USING FRESH GINGER).

WELL, I'M GOING OUTSIDE NOW.  MY TIRE IS FLAT , SO I WILL CALL TRIPLE A.  IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING.  AND I'M ONE OF THOSE WOMEN WHO HATE TO DO THOSE "MAN THINGS."...BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE.

AND SO, ONCE AGAIN, MY FAVORITE SAYING HAS ALWAYS BEEN,   "IF WINTER COMES, CAN SPRING BE FAR BEHIND?"

                                     FRAN

...SO IN LOVE.......

I JUST SPOKE WITH JIMMY A LITTLE WHILE AGO......WE ARE SO CONNECTED AND IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, IT IS HARD TO PUT IT IN PRINT.   HE MUST HAVE TOLD ME HOW  MUCH HE IS IN LOVE WITH ME AROUND A MILLION TIMES, DURING THIS PHONE CALL........I ASKED HIM, FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, WHEN DID YOU ACTUALLY KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH ME?  (i really already knew the answer, but wanted to hear it one more time.)...HE SAID, " IT WAS AFTER I MET YOU, FOR THE FIRST TIME, IN INDIAN SPRINGS, NEVADA, UPON GOING BACK TO NEW JERSEY, AFTER OUR WEEKEND TOGETHER  (IT WAS OUR ONE AND ONLY MEETING, BEFORE MARRIAGE).  THE EXACT MOMENT WAS WHEN THE AIRPLANE LEFT THE TARMAC....I KNEW I HAD TO COME BACK AND MARRY YOU.".............AND SO HE DID...JIMMY FLEW BACK 6 WEEKS LATER, AND WE GOT ,MARRIED THE NEXT DAY............YES, OURS HAS BEEN A VERY GREAT LOVE STORY!.....JIMMY TOOK ME UNDER HIS WING, AND JUST DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO..........AND I NEVER WANTED HIM TO LET GO..............OUR BIGGEST WORRY WAS THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE ME AND GO TO PRISON.............TRUTHFULLY, IN THE FIRST 2 YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE, JIMMY KEPT ME SHELTERED FROM THAT FACT........WE MAINTAINED A HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE HOME LIFE...........IT WAS A WHIRLWIND OF LOVE, LOVE, AND MORE LOVE...........JIMMY RARELY TALKED TO ME ABOUT PRISONS, AND I WAS HAPPY ABOUT THAT.  BUT AT TIMES HE WOULD SIT ME DOWN, AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.........HIS PAST CRIMES, AND HIS CURRENT CRIME.....WHAT HAPPENS IN THE PRISON SYSTEM...JIMMY PREPARED ME, AS A FATHER WOULD PREPARE A CHILD FOR SOMETHING.......HE FED IT TO ME VERY SLOWLY, SO I COULD ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THINGS...........

THE ONE THING I DID KNOW WAS THAT JIMMY WAS SIMPLY A WONDERFUL MAN, AND I SAW THE BEST IN HIM, AT ALL TIMES.........YES, I ONLY SAW THE BEST IN HIM........NOT THAT HE WAS A CRIMINAL..........AND WHAT JIMMY TOLD ME RECENTLY IS THAT IN ANALYZING HIMSELF, HE BELIEVES PART OF THE REASON HE LOVES ME, IS BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY WOMAN HE WAS ABLE TO BE HIMSELF WITH.......WITH HIS PAST GIRLFRIENDS, HE COULD NEVER REALLY BE HIMSELF.........HE COULD NEVER PUT HIS GUARD DOWN WITH ANYONE BEFORE...I WAS THE FIRST ONE......THAT IS KIND OF SCARY...AND SO, I'M SO HAPPY WE MET ...LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, OUR MEETING WAS NOT COINCIDENCE, BUT GOD PUT US TOGETHER, AND WE ALWAYS BELIEVE FOR A PURPOSE.

NOT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT, BUT I GOT MY AT&T PHONE BILL TODAY...I GUESS YOU ARE ALL ANXIOUS TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT IS, SINCE WE TALK SO MUCH...WELL, SINCE HE HAS BEEN IN CRAF, IT IS 700 DOLLARS....YES, YOU GOT IT!.........BUT MORE THAN WORTH IT'S WEIGHT IN GOLD!  AND YOU MUST REMEMBER, THAT TO START TALKING TO HIM IN CRAF, I PAID $1100.00, TO CLEAR THE PHONE, AND REMOVE ANY BLOCKS.  THE REASON I TELL YOU ALL THIS, IS THAT THIS IS A COMMON THING THAT PRISONER'S WIVES GO THROUGH....A LOT OF THE PUBLIC IS NOT AWARE OF JUST HOW EPENSIVE IT IS...........AND YOU MUST REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF THOSE CALLS..........IT LITERALLY KEEPS THE SANITY OF THE INMATE.........JIMMY TRUTHFULLY LIVES FOR HIS CALLS TO ME.........REPEATEDLY, HE TELLS ME, HE HAS TO SIMPLY HEAR MY VOICE ON THE PHONE...EVEN FOR A FEW MINUTES.......AND THAT IS HOW IT IS FOR ME, TOO.........FOR 3 YEARS, THIS COMING MARCH.

AND NOW, FOR SOME MORE GOOD NEWS!  WHEN JIMMY WENT TO THE MEDICAL CLINIC EARLIER , THE NURSE TOLD HIM HE IS SCHEDULED IN A FEW DAYS FOR HIS "EXIT INTERVIEW,,,PHYSICAL"............WELL, JIMMY IS GETTING CLOSER NOW, MORE THAN EVER TO COME HOME........WE  CAN ONCE AGAIN START TO LIVE A SOMEWHAT "NORMAL LIFE-STYLE.".......AND TO BE IN EACH OTHERS ARMS, AND NOT WATCH THE CLOCK.

WITH LOVE,   FRAN

parole board

THE PAROLE OFFICER CALLED ME YESTERDAY AFTERNOON, AND SAID SHE WOULD COME TO VISIT ME ON FRIDAY.  ANS SO, TODAY, THURSDAY, AT 9 AM, SHE CALLED, AS I WAS IN A DEEP SLEEP, AND HAD JUST GONE TO BED AT 6AM, BECAUSE I WAS WATCHING MOVIES DURING THE NIGHT. SHE SAID SHE WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND WOULD STOP BY....SO, WITHIN 2 MINUTES SHE WAS RINGING MY DOORBELL...OUR HOUSE WAS APPROVED FOR JIMMY TO COME HOME TO, .AND THAT IS GOOD NEWS, AND ONE STEP FURTHER ALONG ON THIS JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE, AND THE PRISON SYSTEM.......FRAN

ANOTHER DAY....

WELL, HERE IT IS ANOTHER DAY...JIMMY MADE HIS USUAL 2, 15 MINUTE COLLECT CALLS FROM PRISON.  PAROLE BROUGHT HIM SOME PAPERS TODAY, THAT HE HAD TO SIGN...ALL THE RULES AND REGULATIONS.  JIMMY IS ALWAYS HAPPY AND UPBEAT ABOUT EVERYTHING, BUT AS FOR ME, I'M NOT EXACTLY THRILLED WHAT HE TOLD ME WHAT WILL TAKE PLACE WHEN HE IS PAROLLED.  PAROLE WANTS HIM TO STAY IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE A FEW DAYS A WEEK, WHICH IS SOMEWHERE AROUND CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY.  THE REST OF THE TIME, HE WILL COME HOME.  HOWEVER, IT SEEMS LIKE AN AWFUL LOT OF TRAVELING AROUND THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY, FOR MY HUSBAND.  MOST TIMES HE WILL BE TRAVELING ON BUSES, TRAINS, AND TAXIS............I JUST DON'T GET IT.  JIMMY HAS A NICE HOME TO COME BACK TO, IN A QUITE RESIDENTIAL TOWN, AND YET HE WILL BE TRAVELING HERE AND THERE...ALL OVER..........ATLANTIC CITY WHERE HE WILL WORK, IS 1 HOUR FROM HERE, HIS HOME....TO GET THERE, HE WILL HAVE TO TAKE A TAXI AND BUS...SOMETIMES IT TAKES 2 HOURS BY BUS.  AND FROM HIS JOB, CAMDEN MUST BE AT LEAST 1 1/2 HOURS AWAY.........WHAT I'M SAYING, IT IS NOT IN A STRAIGHT LINE, BUT KIND OF LIKE A TRIANGLE, ON THE MAP.  I'M KIND OF UPSET ABOUT THIS, SO I DON'T KNOW IF I'M MAKING SENSE.  I MEAN, I DON'T WANT MY HUSBAND TO OVERDO IT...I KNOW HOW TIRING TRAVELLING AROUND ALL DAY, AND THEN GOING TO A STRESSFUL JOB CAN BE......I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE........JIMMY WAS HAPPY TELLING ME ABOUT THIS ON THE PHONE.........AND WHEN I EXPRESSED MY CONCERNS, WELL WE HAD A LITTLE DISAGREEMENT, AND WE HUNG UP............THEN HE CALLED BACK, BECAUSE HE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT NOT BEING MAD WITH ME...........AND SO I SAID, "YOU ARE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT BEING IN PRISON UPON YOURSELF, SO NOW YOU JUST HANDLE IT."  HE SAYS IT IS OK...HE DOESN'T MIND TRAVELING AROUND NEW JERSEY ALL DAY..........I SAID, FINE, BUT I'M 3 YEARS OLDER SINCE YOU LEFT FOR PRISON, AND I JUST LIKE TO BE HOME , HERE, IN MY COMFORTABLE HOUSE...I DON'T LIKE RIDING, TRAVELING, OR ANY SUCH THING....I JUST WANT TO BE HOME....PERIOD.  HE SAID, FINE.......ANYHOW IT'S ONLY FOR 90 DAYS  (IN THE NEW HALF-WAY HOUSE).........ALSO, WHAT I TOLD JIMMY IS THAT WHAT I NEED, AT THIS TIME ON MY LIFE, AND AT MY AGE, (WHICH IS INCREASING WITH EVERY MINUTE, AS EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET), IS STABILITY.......YES, VERY INPORTANT......"STABILITY.".......AND SO I WILL NOT THINK ABOUT THIS ISSUE ANYMORE....I REFUSE TO BE AGGRAVATED ANY FURTHER, BY "THE SYSTEM."  I WILL PLACE ALL THINGS IN THE HANDS OF CHRIST, AND IN THAT WAY, HAVE ANY STRESS RELIEVED  FROM MYSELF........AND SO, WE WILL PROCEED WITH A PEACEFUL, HARMONIOUS LIFE.........................TRUTHFULLY, IF I WERE TO PUT MY FAITH IN "THE SYSTEM,"  IN THIS COUNTRY, INSTEAD OF  OUR LORD, I WOULD LITERALLY BE DRIVEN "INSANE." AND I REFUSE TO LET IT DO THAT TO ME............

ASLO, JIMMY TOLD ME THAT PAROLE WILL CALL ME IN A FEW DAYS, TO ASK ME IF I WANT MY HUSBAND TO RETURN HOME............WELL, WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?

JIMMY'S ROOM MATE WAS MOVED OUT OF THE CELL TODAY, SO AS OF NOW, JIMMY IS ALONE.  HIS ROOM MATE WAS MOVED TO A LARGER CELL, AND IS NOW WORKING AS A 'RUNNER."  HE IS DOING THE SWEEPING AND MOPPING OF FLOORS RIGHT NOW.  JIMMY THINKS THEY WILL ALSO MOVE HIM TO A LARGER CELL SOON...MAYBE TOMORROW.

GOOD-NIGHT AND SWEET DREAMS!................FRAN

MISSING MY HUSBAND

I MISS JIMMY SO MUCH...I WISH HE WERE HERE WITH ME, RIGHT NOW, MORE THAN ANYTHING.  THE WORST THING IS THAT WE CAN ONLY TALK FOR A LIMITED TIME ON THE PHONE...TODAY WE SPOKE FOR 2. 15 MINUTE COLLECT CALLS, AT 7:30 PM...JIMMY HAD CALLED ME AT 12:30 PM,. BUT THE CALLS WOULDN'T GO THROUGH, AS SOMETIMES HAPPENS WITH PHONE CALLS FROM PRISON...SO, HE TRIED CALLING ME 8 TIMES, BUT THE CALLS KEPT DISCONNECTING.  SO WHEN HE GOT THROUGH AT 7:30 PM, HE WAS FRANTIC...ALL THE OTHER INMATES WERE AROUND HIM, AND HE TOLD THEM HE FINALLY GOT THROUGH.........JIMMY GETS CRAZY WHEN HE CAN'T TALK TO ME.  WHAT I MEAN IS, HE "PANICS."  AS LONG AS HE CAN "HEAR MY VOICE," HE IS OK.......AND I AM THE SAME WAY WITH HIM.  TRUTHFULLY, JIMMY AND I STARTED TALKING TO EACH OTHER SINCE WE MET, ON MARCH 1, 2001, AND TO THIS DAY, WE HAVE NOT STOPPED!.....YES, WE NEVER RUN OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT.  AND I MEAN, A LOT OF OUR TALK GOES WAY BACK TO WHEN WE WERE BABIES AND CHILDREN...IT IS LIKE WE COMPARE NOTES ABOUT OUR WHOLE LIFE, GOING BACK TO CHILDHOOD, AND WE DON'T MISS ANYTHING...........I LOVE JIMMY SO....I AM ONE OF THOSE WOMEN WHO TELLS HER HUSBAND EVERYTHING.....AND HE DOES THE SAME WITH ME........NO STONE IS LEFT UNTURNED........ BEING CONNECTED BY PHONE IS CRUCIAL TO OUR MARRIAGE...AND SO, I BLESS "ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL," EVERYDAY, FOR INVENTING THE PHONE!       :)

I ASKED JIMMY TO WRITE DOWN HIS VIEWS ON PRISON...THIS IS WHAT HE WROTE.....

 

DEAR FRAN.....MY DARLING LITTLE WIFE,

WOULD YOU LIKE MY THOUGHTS ON JAIL?  WELL, HERE GOES.....

I AM NO VIRGIN TO JAIL.  BEFORE THIS BID, I DID 8 MONTHS, THEN 18 MONTHS.  I MUST BE TRUTHFUL. IT WAS VERY EASY FOR ME. 

I AM A SMART, QUIET, WHITE GUY.  I KEPT BUSY READING. WRITING, HELPING OTHER INMATES, AND YES, ALSO OFFICERS AND STAFF WITH THEIR PERSONAL LEGAL WOES.

ONE DAY, TWO BIDS AGO, IT WAS LOUD, NOISY, ...PEPPERED WITH A LOT OF TENSION.  MY BUNKIE SAID TO ME, "THIS IS HORRIBLE."  I SAID TO HIM, "IT COULD NE WORSE.  I COULD BE HOME."  HE LOOKED AT ME AS IF I WERE NUTS.  YOU SEE, I HAD NO ONE ON THE OUTSIDE WHO LOVED OR CARED ABOUT ME.  THE FUNNY THING IS, I ALWAYS WENT TO JAIL TO KEEP SOMEONE ELSE OUT.  SO THE DEAL WAS, I WOULD TAKE THE FALL.  I HAD MONEY AND A HOME, BUT NOBODY LOVED ME.  USED ME. YES.  LOVED ME, NO.

NOW, THIS BID HAS BEEN A REAL M----R F----R,  FROM THE FIRST DAY.  THIS CHARGE HAPPENED A YEAR BEFORE I MARRIED  FRAN.  ALL I DO IS CRAVE HER.  AND THE LIFE WE HAD.

I FEEL EMPTY, SICK...NOT AWAKE.....CAUGHT IN A BAD DREAM.

THERE'S NOT A MOMENT, OR SECOND, WHERE I DO NOT HURT FROM MISSING HER.  AND I THINK, 'WHY GOD, COULD I HAVE NOT MET HER 30 YEARS AGO?"

................WRITTEN BY JIMMY JAN. 9, 2006

(THIS IS AN ESSAY WRITTEN BY A MAN, MY HUSBAND, WHO HAS BEEN LOCKED UP IN AN 8X9 FT. CELL, SINCE THE FIRST WEEK IN DECEMBER, NOW 6 WEEKS LATER, LET OUT FOR ONLY AN HOUR OR SO EACH DAY.  WITHIN THAT CELL, HE HAS A ROOM MATE AND A TOILET THEY SHARE.  I THOUGHT YOU MAY FIND IT INTERESTING JUST WHAT GOES ON IN THE MIND OF A MAN WHO IS LOCKED UP IN SUCH TIGHT QUARTERS....WITH NOTHING TO DO...BARELY ANY READING MATERIAL...NO RADIO ...NOTHING BUT THEIR THOUGHTS.........FRAN)

JIMMY'S PAROLE DATE

HI EVERYBODY!.....I CAN'T KEEP IT A SECRET ANY LONGER!....JIMMY'S PAROLE DATE IS MARCH 6, 2006...YES. HE WILL BE COMING HOME ON THAT DAY, AND WE ARE VERY EXCITED.  AS OF TOMORROW, THAT IS 7 WEEKS AWAY.  WE SPOKE 2 TIMES ON THE PHONE TODAY, AND JIMMY IS VERY EXCITED, AND SAYS IT WILL BE A LONG 7 WEEKS.  HE BELIEVES THAT HE WILL BE STAYING AT "CRAF."  HE SAID HE WILL APPLY TO BE TRANSFERRED UPSTAIRS, WHERE THE CELLS ARE LARGER, AND HE WILL HAVE ACCESS TO THE LAW LIBRARY.  ALSO I CAN SEND HIM PAPERBACK BOOKS THERE (WHERE HE IS NOW, IN THE 8X9FT CELL, THERE IS A VERY LIMITED AMOUNT OF READING MATERIAL...LIKE YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOU CAN GET A NOVEL TO READ)..............ON TUESDAY, I WILL GO TO THE POST OFFICE, TO MAIL SEVERAL MANILLA ENVELOPES FULL OF NEWSPAPER ARTICLES OPF INTEREST TO JIMMY THAT I CUT OUT, AND COMPUTER PRINT-OUTS OF THINGS HE WILL LIKE TO READ....I ALSO HAVE ALWAYS PRINTED OUT THIS JOURNAL, AND SEND IT TO HIM.  HE THEN SHARES IT WITH THE OTHER INMATES...........I MUST HAVE AROUND 8 THINGS TO MAIL HIM.

WE NOW DECDED TO MAKE THIS TIME PASS AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, AND SO WE WILL DO LITTLE PROJECTS TO MAKE IT GO QUICKER....THE "KEY" IS TO "DIVERT" YOUR MIND.  AND SO, JIMMY ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR 2 PAPERBACK BOOKS ON AMAZON, THAT I CAN SEND HIM....ONE IS A BOOK ON LATIN, SO HE CAN SPEND HIS TIME REVIEWING LATIN.  JIMMY AND I BOTH KNOW LATIN, AND WE WERE "A" STUDENTS IN IT, IN HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE.  I KNOW IT SOUNDS A LITTLE "DRY" TO MOST, BUT WE BOTH LIKE IT........HE ALSO ASKED ME TO PICK  A NOVEL HE MIGHT LIKE....THEN WE CAME UP WITH "THE DAVINCI CODE."..........JIMMY 'THINKS" A LOT.  SO HE HAS TOLD ME ALL THE THINGS WE WILL DO WHEN HE GETS BACK.  FOR EXAMPLE, HE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE ME TO CENTRAL PARK , AND TAKE A ROMANTIC HORSE-DRIVEN CARRIAGE RIDE THROUGH CENTRAL PARK. (I DID THIS IN SEVILLE, SPAIN),  THEN STOP FOR LUNCH AT "TAVERN ON THE GREEN."  AND THEN DO A LITTLE SHOPPING IN NEW YORK...MACY'S , BLOOMINGDALES, ETC........JIMMY IS A VERY ROMANTIC MAN.........AND IF YOU SAW HIM OUT OF HIS PRISON GARB, YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND JUST WHAT I AM SAYING........JIMMY NOT ONLY "CONTROLS THE ROOM", THROUGH HIS PRESENCE, AS WE WALK INTO A RESTAURANT, BUT HE TREATS ME LIKE A PRINCESS..........OF COURSE, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, JIMMY MUST GET APPROVAL FROM PAROLE BEFORE HE GOES ANYWHERE ......HE ALSO SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO TAKEME SOMEWHERE TO THE BEACH, FOR A FEW DAYS  (ALTHOUGH WE LIVE AT THE BEACH!)........IT WILL BE A ROMANTIC RENDEVOUZ!......WE WILL WATCH THE SUN RISE, AND THE MOONLIT SKY AT NIGHT...WE WILL WATCH THE WAVES AND OCEAN, AND JUST BE ONE WITH NATURE AND GOD.......AND EACH OTHER.

AND SO, I LISTEN TO ALL THE THINGS MY HUSBAND DAY-DREAMS ABOUT 24 HOURS/DAY IN THAT TINY CELL...AND I KNOW THAT ONCE HOME, HE WILL MAKE IT A REALITY....BECAUSE THAT IS JUST HOW JIMMY IS........A WONDERFULLY ROMANTIC MAN!

AS FOR MYSELF, DURING THIS 7 WEEK PERIOD, I HAVE DECIDED TO ONCE AGAIN RESUME WATCHING TV, AND MOVIES ON CABLE, AND ON-DEMAND.  SO, LAST NIGHT I WATCHED "DRACULA, " AND "OCEANS 12."  I KEEP A WRITTEN LIST OF ALL THE MOVIES I SEE, AND THEN I DISCUSS THEM WITH JIMMY FOR A FEW MINUTES ON THE PHONE.........I WAS UP TO 75 MOVIES, IN A FEW MONTHS, BUT STOPPED WHEN ALL THIS STARTED IN DEC. AS I FELT SO ILL THE ENTIRE MONTH OF DECEMBER........BUT, NOW, I CAN ONCE AGAIN START LIVING AGAIN, AND IT FEELS NICE.....

"JIMMY'S LOVE LETTER TO ME"

FRANCES,  I KISS YOUR EYES, YOUR EARS, YOUR NOSE, YOUR HANDS, YOUR LIPS.  THERE IS NO OTHER WOMAN IN THIS WORLD, OR UNIVERSE, THAT CAN COMPARE TO YOU.  THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME LOVE YOU......"YOUR JIMMY"

"ANOTHER LOVE LETTER"

FRANCES, MY DARLING WIFE......THE DAY WE FIRST TALKED WAS MARCH 1, 2001.  I WAS 59 DAYS OLDER THE DAY WE WED, APRIL 29, 2001.  WE SPENT 709 WONDERFUL DAYS TOGETHER,  BEFORE I CAME TO JAIL.  TODAY (1/2/06), WE HAVE BEEN APART 1000 NIGHTS.   I PROMISE I WILL NEVER SPEND ANOTHER NIGHT OUT OF YOUR EMBRASS.  LOVE, YOUR HUSBAND FOREVER........   (jimmy wrote this letter after someone...maybe an angel, told him in his sleep, that he had been away from me for 1000 nights).

.....SO HAPPY!

WE ARE SO HAPPY! JIMMY CALLED ME 3 TIMES TODAY....HE SOUNDS SO GOOD, LAUGHING AND JOKING WITH ME!........HE IS COUNTING THE DAYS UNTIL HE COMES HOME IN MARCH, ON PAROLE.......HE ALREADY IS MAKING LISTS, AND TELLING ME EXACTLY WHAT HE WILL DO WHEN HE GETS HERE, AROUND THE HOUSEHOLD....AND DON'T WORRY, I'M INCLUDED IN THAT!.....HE  SAYS HE'LL PUT ME BACK IN TRAINING AGAIN, SINCE IT HAS BEEN 3 YEARS THAT HE HAS BEEN HOME, EXCEPT FOR THE 8 FURLOUGHS.......NOW, WHEN I SAY 'TRAINING, " I DON'T MEAN CLEANING THE HOUSE AND COOKING.  NO, I MEAN 'LOVE-MAKING!"..........SO, I GUESS I'D BETTER REST UP, BETWEEN NOW AND MARCH, AS I'LL HAVE A LOT OF WORK, (or play), WHEN HE GETS HERE.....MY HUSBAND IS A MAN WHO IS ALWAYS FULL OF ENERGY...HE IS VERY ENERGETIC......A MAN LET OUT OF PRISON, WHO WAS THERE FOR 3 YEARS.....I BETTER WATCH OUT!

I'VE BEGUN TO FEEL SO GOOD, I EVEN GOT UP AT 11 AM TODAY.....I DID THINGS IN THE HOUSEHOLD, AND MADE A BIG POT OF VEGTABLE SOUP FOR MYSELF, WITH FRESH VEGETABLES, AND INDIAN SPICES.  IT HAS BEEN RAINING HEAVILY ALL DAY AND LAST NIGHT, HERE IN JERSEY...THERE EVEN WERE THUNDERSTORMS ALL LAST NIGHT, WHICH IS UNUSUAL,,,,THEY ARE SAYING IT WILL TURN TO SNOW TONIGHT........SO THINGS ARE STRANGE RIGHT NOW!

WELL, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.....COULD I SAY MORE?.....JIMMY AND I ARE VERY MUCH IN LOVE!.......DESPITE THE FACT THAT THIS COMING APRIL IS OUR 5TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, OURS IS STILL A "NEW" LOVE, AND WR BELIEVE IT ALWAYS WILL BE THAT WAY........JIMMY STILL TELLS ME ON THE PHONE THAT "I STILL GIVE HIM CHILLS."..........AND IT IS THE SAME FOR ME...JIMMY STILL GIVES ME CHILLS...........

IT IS MORE THAN CHILLS.........FOR 3 YEARS , DESPITE BEING PHYSICALLY SEPERATED, WE HAVE LAID IN EACH OTHERS ARMS, EVERYNIGHT IN BED......WE HAVE FELT EACH OTHERS PRESENCE AROUND US AT ALL TIMES....I WALK AROUND THE HOUSEHOLD, TALKING TO JIMMY...TELLING HIM THINGS........WHAT I HAVE LEARNED IN THIS EXPERIENCE, IS THAT PRISONER'S AND THEIR WIVES DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP FAR SUPERIOR THAN MOST OTHERS,,,,THEIR 6TH SENSE DEVELOPS, EVEN MORE THAN EVER....THERE IS A VERY CEMENTED BOND, BETWEEN THE TWO.....AND DESPITE ALL THE "HORRIFYING " PARTS OF HAVING YOUR HUSBAND IN PRISON, IT IS REALLY THE ULTIMATE STRENGTHENING EXPEIENCE, IN THE LONG RUN........."OUR LOVE CAN SURVIVE PRISON WALLS.".........ANDI HOPE ALL THE PRISONER'S WIVES READING THIS JOURNAL, WILL EXPERIENCE WHAT JIMMY AND I HAVE, IN OUR LOVE.......

GOOD-NIGHT, EVERYONE!                  FRAN

JIMMY AND FRAN

HI EVERYONE!

I FEEL SO GOOD TODAY, AS IF A VERY LARGE WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS.  I FEEL LIKE I CAN START TO LIVE LIFE AGAIN....AS IF THERE IS A PURPOSE TO LIFE....A PURPOSE TO ACTUALLY GET OUT OF BED, AND BE PRODUCTIVE (ALTHOUGH JIMMY ALWAYS TELLS ME I DO MY BEST WORK IN BED!)......OH YES, HERE IT IS...I FEEL MY HUMOR RETURNING TO ME, ONCE AGAIN!......HEAVEN FORBID, DON'T BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH JIMMY AND I, AS WE WILL BOTH HAVE YOU LAUGHING VERY HARD.....JIMMY AND I ARE OUR BEST WHEN WE ARE "COMBINED.".........WE HAVE A NATURAL ABILITY TO BE COMICAL WHEN TOGETHER....SOMETHING LIKE "BURNS AND ALLEN."......AND YES, HE DOES LIKE TO CALL ME "GRACIE."

YES, ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE, I GUESS THE BURDEN OF DEPRESSION IS BEGINNING TO LIFT FROM ME........AS JIMMY WILL BE COMING HOME ON PAROLE IN SOMETHING LIKE 6 WEEKS.................

.........AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

SO FOR ME.......US.........LIFE NOW BECOMES MORE "BALANCED."........MORE "HARMONIOUS."...........MORE PURPOSE TO LIFE..............TO CONTINUE ONWARDS, ON AN "EVEN KEEL."............TO MAINTIAN  "OUR HOUSEHOLD."

DOING ONE SINGLE THING IN THIS HOUSEHOLD, IS IMPORTANT, BECAUSE I AM DOING IT FOR THE 2 OF US........

.JIMMY AND I ARE ONE, AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN , NOT ONLY IN THIS LIFE, BUT IN MANY OTHERS............

WHEN I SAY "FRAN,"  I REALLY MEAN "FRAN AND JIMMY," AS WE ARE ONE AND THE SAME....THAT IS HOW CONNECTED WE ARE TO EACH OTHER.

JIMMY TOLD ME ON THE PHONE, " I LOVE TO LOOK INTO YOUR EYES....THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL........YOUR EYES CHANGE COLOR FROM BLUE TO GREEN, TO HAZEL TO GREY."............UNUSUAL, ISN'T IT, TO HAVE EYES THAT ARE NEVER THE SAME COLOR!"...........AND WHEN I LOOK INTO HIS INTENSE DEEP BROWN EYES, I SEE THINGS THAT ARE DEEP, LIKE THE UNIVERSE..........I ALWAYS HAVE LOVED TO GAZE INTO JIMMY'S EYES..........

OH GOD!.......LIFE MOVES SO SLOW FOR ME.........SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T STAND IT...........

WHEN JIMMY WALKED OUT THE FRONT DOOR, ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO, ON HIS WAY TO JAIL, WE WERE A MARRIED COUPLE, IN A VERY YOUNG MARRIAGE....WE HAD ONLY BEEN MARRIED FOR 2 YEARS AT THE TIME.......OUR LOVE WAS "A YOUNG LOVE," BUT HAS ONLY GROWN AND RIPPENED AND MATURED, WITH THE PASSING OF TIME.........

...SUCH IS LIFE!.......................FRAN

SMILE

I MUST NOW, ONCE AGAIN, START PRACTICING TO SMILE.......YOU SEE, LAST SPRING, WHEN THINGS STARTED LOOKING UP, I STARTED SMILING, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 3/03, WHEN JIMMY WENT TO PRISON.......ALL THROUGHOUT THE SUMMER 2005, I WAS SMILING.........BUT I STOPPED IN DECEMBER 2005,  WHEN THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED.........I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR, TODAY, AND SAW MY FACE WAS DROOPING DOWNWARDS........I BET A LOT OF PRISONER'S WIVES GO THROUGH THIS.............I ALWAYS TELL JIMMY, I CAN TELL IF A WOMAN IS A PRISONER'S WIFE, BY THE INTENSE, SAD LOOK IN HER EYES, AND THE EXPRESSION ON HER FACE.........YES, DURING MY ORDEAL THESE YEARS, I HAVE BECOME VERY PERCEPTIVE ABOUT THE PRISONER'S WIFE.......IT IS A CERTAIN LOOK SHE CARRIES ON HER FACE..........IT IS AS IF "SHE IS BRANDED."  IT IS A SADNESS SHE CARRIES WITHIN HER SOUL.

I MUST TELL YOU, I WILL CONTINUE TO WRIIE THIS JOURNAL, EVEN WHEN JIMMY COMES HOME.......I BELIEVE THROUGH THE COMMENTS YOU WRITE, THAT THIS JOURNAL HELPS THOSE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD, AWAITING THEIR LOVED ONES IN PRISON.........

I'LL TELL YOU A LITTLE SECRET THAT HELPED ME LAST SPRING....TO START SMILING.............I WAS READING A SPIRITUAL BOOK THAT SAID "GOD WANTS YOU TO SMILE AND BE HAPPY."  IT INSTRUCTED YOU TO SMILE IN THE MORNING , AS YOU SHOWERED....EVEN IF IT HURT THE MUSCLES IN YOUR FACE.......AND SO, I STARTED DOING JUST THAT........AND IT WAS VERY HARD AT FIRST....AND YES, THE MUSCLES IN MY FACE HURT........AND SUDDENLY MY SAD EYES STARTED TO GLOW AND RADIATE HAPPINESS.

AND SO, I WILL START ALL OVER AGAIN....TO SMILE....AND I WILL BELIEVE IN ALL THOSE THINGS IN LIFE, S.UCH AS MIRACLES............I WILL START AGAIN, FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, TO START AFRESH IN LIFE....TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF...CALL IT WHAT YOU MAY.........WE ALL DO IT TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD............

AND I WILL START SMILING AGAIN....AND THE MORE I DO IT, THE EASIER IT WILL BECOME............AND I WILL BE A BETTER PERSON, TO HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE OF LIFE...........

I WILL HAVE FAITH, NOT ONLY IN GOD AND THE UNIVERSE, BUT IN MAN, HIMSELF..........

                                                                             FRAN

 

THE BEST NEWS EVER!

I GOT THE BEST NEWS EVER, A LITTLE WHILE AGO, FROM JIMMY........PAROLE SPOKE WITH HIM TODAY, AND GAVE HIM HIS ACTUAL PAROLE DATE, WHICH IS THE FIRST WEEK OF MARCH, 2006........YES, JIMMY WILL ACTUALLY BE COMING HOME IN MARCH  ( i know the actual date)......IT IS INCREDIBLE ALL THIS IS HAPPENING....SORT OF LIKE A DREAM..........AND IT HAPPENS AT A TIME I FELT I WOULD LITERALLY CRUMBLE UP, AND DISAPPEAR...INTO THIN AIR, THAT IS.......IT HAPPENED AT A TIME I FELT I HAD LOST ALL FAITH IN THE HUMAN RACE........BUT NOW ONCE AGAIN, YES, I HAVE SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR........WHEN I SPOKE TO JIMMY, HE WAS SIMPLY ON TOP OF THE WORLD!  JIMMY, WITH HIS "COMPUTER BRAIN, " IS CALCULATING EXACTLY HOW MANY DAYS TILL HIS RELEASE.  I DON'T KNOW!  I MUST BE DREAMING!....PLEASE PINCH ME!

ON A SADDER NOTE, I MUST MENTION THAT RAMONA BELL DIED LAST WEEK AT THE AGE OF 47, FROM A SEVERE ASTHMA ATTACK.................RAMONA WAS THE BELOVED WIFE OF ART BELL, COAST TO COAST RADIO HOST.  JIMMY AND I ARE BIG FANS OF ART BELL.  ART AND RAMONA LIVE IN PAHRUMP, NEVADA...AROUND 30 MILES FROM LAS VEGAS, WHERE HE BROADCASTED HIS SHOWS FROM HIS HOME......WHEN I MET JIMMY FOR THE FIRST TIME, IN INDIAN SPRINGS, NEVADA, JIMMY ASKED ME TO DRIVE HIM TO PAHRUMP, SO HE COULD SEE THE LITTLE SLEEPY TOWN WHERE ART BELL LIVED  (AT THAT TIME THERE WERE NO TRAFFIC LIGHTS)....AND SO I DID!.....AND THEN WE WENT TO "TERRIBLE'S CASINO," WHILE THERE.........

AND SO, WE ARE VERY SADDENED BY THIS SHOCKING, AND UNEXPECTED NEWS.......RAMONA AND ART WERE SOMEWHAT LIKE JIMMY AND MYSELF....IN THEIR 15 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, THEY HAD NOT BEEN SEPERATED ONE DAY.......JIMMY AND I ARE LIKE THAT, EXCEPT UNFORTUNATELY PRISON WALLS SEPERATED US, FOR 3 YEARS, PHYSICALLY, BUT NOT MENTALLY .

COAST TO COAST AM WITH GEORGE NOORY

THIS IS THE WEB-SITE, THAT YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING.......THE RADIO SHOW WAS TAKEN OVER BY GEORGE NOORY A FEW YEARS AGO.  I HAVE TROUBLE FINDING IT ON THE RADIO WHERE I LIVE HERE, BUT IN LAS VEGAS, I LISTENED TO IT EVERYNIGHT......JIMMY WAS ABLE TO GET THE STATION WHILE IN PRISON.......THEY TALK ABOUT DIFFERENT, AND UNUSUAL THINGS ON THE SHOW.....

AND SO, I WILL SAY GOOD-NIGHT NOW, WITH WONDERFUL NEWS FROM JIMMY ABOUT HIS PAROLE...BUT I MUST ALSO ASK THAT ART BELL BE GIVEN THE STRENGTH FROM ABOVE, THAT HE NEEDS AT THIS TIME, TO CARRY ON IN LIFE, WITHOUT HIS WIFE BY HIS SIDE...................FRAN

craf...west trenton,nj

JIMMY IS STILL AT "CRAF."  EVERYTHING IS STILL THE SAME.  HE HOPES THEY WILL MOVE HIM TONIGHT....HE CALLED ME AT 5:30 PM, AS HE ALWAYS DOES.......2, 15 MINUTE CALLS. WE PROFESSED OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER, AS ALWAYS!

HE TOLD ME THAT HIS ROOM MATE, WAS IN A FORMER PRISON WITH A FELLOW HERE, IN OCEAN COUNTY,  WHO WAS CONVICTED AND LOCKED UP FOR HAVING SEX WITH A DOG, SEVERAL MONTHS AGO.  I HAD SEEN IT IN THE NEWSPAPER, AND HAD SENT THE CLIPPING TO JIMMY....WELL, HIS ROOM MATE SAID THAT WHENEVER THIS INMATE WALKED INTO THE "TIER, " ALL THE OTHER INMATES WOULD START BARKING!......YES, LOTS OF FUNNY THINGS GOING ON IN PRISON!

JIMMY AND I SPOKE MOSTLY ABOUT WHAT I WENT THROUGH  YESTERDAY....I HAD TO GO BEFORE A JUDGE, IN A COURTROOM, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE...AND LET ME TELL YOU , IT WAS VERY SCARY....IT WAS NOTHING TO DO WITH JIMMY, BUT WAS SOME PERSONAL BUSINESS........IT IS STRANGE, BECAUSE JIMMY IS A CRIMINAL, AND YET, I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN IN A COURTROOM....THANK GOD MY ATTORNEY SPOKE FOR ME, BUT LET ME TELL YOU, THE JUDGE QUESTIONED ME FOR A GOOD HOUR.......MY ATTORNEY IS CERTAIN WE WON THE CASE.............HOWEVER, I'M STILL SHAKING TODAY, AND SO, I SLEPT THE WHOLE DAY AWAY...........WHEN JIMMY CALLED ME , HE BEGGED ME TO GET UP......AND SO, I DID, AND TOOK PRINCE OUT, FED THE ANIMALS, MADE THE COFFEE, AND TOOK THE NEWSPAPER IN.....I MADE MYSELF A SALAD, AND BROWN RICE...AND AS FOR PRINCE, HE GOT A LONDON BROIL, I HAD IN THE FREEZER.....AND YES, NOW, LIFE GOES ON...........TOMORROW I'LL TRY TO GET OUT AND GO SHOPPING TO BUY SOME MORE FOOD FOR PRINCE........

GOOD-NIGHT!............FRAN

JIMMY IS STILL AT "CRAF," AWAITING TRANSFER TO THE NEXT PLACE.  WE SPOKE TWICE TODAY.  AND HE WAS HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO BE IN COMMUNICATION WiTH ME, THROUGH THIS VERY STRESSFUL AND EVENTFUL DAY (FOR ME).  HOWEVER, WE ARE BOTH GLAD TODAY IS OVER, AND WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO TOMORROW.

                                                                   ...FRAN...

SPECIAL PRAYERS

LET US SAY SOME SPECIAL PRAYERS, FOR ALL THOSE WHO WANDER BY HERE, AND STOP BY, TO EXPRESS THEIR OPINIONS .  LET US NOT JUDGE OUR FELLOW MAN.  LET US ESPECIALLY PRAY FOR ALL THOSE WHO WORK WITHIN THE PRISON SYSTEM.  LET US NOT CARRY ANY ANGER OR JUDGEMENT.  THEY HAVE A VERY DIFFICULT JOB, DEALING WITH THE CRIMINALS OF THE WORLD.  ...LET THERE BE PEACE, BALANCE, AND HARMONY, IN HOPES OF MAKING THIS A BETTER WORLD TO LIVE IN..........FRAN

GO TO "PRISON TALK"

HI EVERYONE!

WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE , GO TO THE FOLLOWING WEB-SITE...IT IS REALLY GREAT, AND YOU WILL LEARN ALOT ABOUT THE PRISON SYSTEM IN OUR COUNTRY, AND EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON.  THERE ARE 2 WEB-SITES, AS IT IS CURRENTLY BEING SWITCHED OVER TO BLOGSPOT.  WHAT I READ ON HER MSN, LITERALLY GAVE ME NIGHTMARES, TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE PRISON SYSTEM, IN OUR COUNTRY.

http://prisontalk.blogspot.com

http://spaces.msn.com/members/prisontalk

STEFFI, THE EDITOR, IS LOOKING FOR MALE INMATES TO WRITE THEIR "VIEW" OF PRISON.  SO, YES, YOU GOT IT!  I TOLD JIMMY ABOUT IT EARLIER TODAY, AND HE IS NOW WRITING SOMETHING, WHICH HE WILL SEND ME....ALSO, HE IS TELLING OTHER INMATES, AND I'M SURE THEY ARE ALL BUSY WRITING ESSAYS.....JIMMY WILL CALL ME IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES, SO I'LL FIND OUT THEN.

A LOT OF YOU ARE WORRIED JUST WHY JIMMY HAS NOT BEEN MOVED OUT OF "CRAF," AND INTO THE NEW FACILITY YET....WE ARE ACTUALLY HOPING THAT IT IS WEDNESDAY OF THIS WEEK. YOU SEE, I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT ON TUESDAY, AND I NEED MY HUSBAND'S SUPPORT ON THE PHONE....ONCE HE MOVES TO THE NEW FACILITY, WE WILL LOSE CONTACT FOR AT LEAST A FEW DAYS, UNTIL HIS PIN NUMBER CAN GO THROUGH.....AND SO, ONCE AGAIN, MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND IS ACTUALLY SACRIFICING HIMSELF, IN THE 9X8 FT. CELL, JUST SO HE CAN STAY IN COMMUNICATION WITH ME.....SO, ACTUALLY, WE ARE PRAYING HE STAYS RIGHT WHERE HE IS UNTIL AT LEAST WEDNESDAY.

THIS PAST WEEK THERE WAS A NEW SHOW ON TV, CALLED "IN JUSTICE."  I THINK IT WILL BE A BIG HIT, SINCE THE TREND IN OUR COUNTRY SEEMS TO BE TV SHOWS ABOUT CRIMINALS, THE JUSTICE SYSTEM, AND PRISONS, ETC....AROUND 10 MINUTES INTO WATCHING THE SHOW, I KNEW I LIKED IT.  WHY?  THE WIFE OF THE PRISONER, WHO IS WRONGFULLY LOCKED UP, FOR KILLING SOMEONE, IS TRYING TO PROVE HE IS INNOCENT.  SHE STANDS IN FRONT OF THE LAWYER AND SAYS, "HOW FAR ARE YOU STANDING IN FRONT OF ME?"     "AROUND 8 FEET," HE REPLIES.  "THAT IS EXACTLY THE SIZE OF MY HUSBAND'S PRISON CELL. FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.  THAT IS THE EXTENT OF HIS WORLD, FOR 24 HOURS/ DAY,...EVERYDAY." SHE ANSWERS.  WELL, I IMMEDIATELY LIKED HER.  THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU HERE, THAT JIMMY HAS BEEN IN A CELL THAT SIZE, SINCE THE FIRST WEEK OF DECEMBER.  AND AS YOU KNOW, JIMMY WAS CLEARED OF THE CELL PHONE CHARGES.  IT WILL BE COMPLETELY REMOVED FROM HIS RECORDS.  BUT BECAUSE OF THE SLOWNESS AND OVER-CROWDEDNESS OF THE PRISONS, JIMMY IS STILL IN THAT SMALL CELL, AND I FEEL IT IS INHUMANE, AND VERY UNHEALTHY, PHYSICALLY, AND MENTALLY, TO PUT PEOPLE IN SUCH TINY AREAS......WHO AM I TO SAY?  I'M NO ONE. BUT NOW, EVEN A POPULAR TV SHOW, IS SHOWING THE PUBLIC WHAT GOES ON, BEHIND CLOSED DOORS...................AND SO, "IN JUSTICE, " THAT WOMAN'S HUSBAND, STARING BLANKLY, SITTING ON HIS BED, WITH BARS BEFORE HIM..................AND OF COURSE, YOU GUESSED IT...HE WAS INNOCENT AT THE END, AND SET FREE.........

NITE...JIMMY WILL CALL ME SOON.............FRAN

 

 

PLEASE READ THE COMMENTS LEFT IN THE LAST POSTING ON JANUARY 7, 2006, "CLEARING THINGS UP."....THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS.....FRAN

CLEARING "THINGS" UP

WHEN I STARTED THIS JOURNAL, 2 YEARS AGO, IT WAS ABOUT ME, A WOMAN, WHO WAS IN A STATE OF DESPAIR...A WOMAN WHO WAS SUDDENLY ALONE, WITHOUT HER HUSBAND, WHOM SHE LOVES DEARLY...IT WAS MOSTLY ABOUT MY THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS.  AND THEN, THROUGH THE YEARS, I FOUND MYSELF TALKING ABOUT JIMMY, AND THE PRISON SYSTEM.  WHY?   BECAUSE I BECAME MORE AWARE OF THINGS, THAT I NEVER KNEW ABOUT....I WAS A REGISTERED NURSE MY WHOLE LIFE, AND HAD NEVER, EVER BEEN EXPOSED TO THE PENAL SYSTEM.....IT WAS ALL VERY AMAZING AND SHOKING TO ME, AT THE AGE OF 49, TO SUDDENLY SEE WHAT GOES ON IN PRISONS, ETC.......IT HAS I MUST SAY, BEEN A LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR ME........

IF YOU ALL HAVEN'T DONE IT ALREADY, PLEASE READ THE COMMENTS IN THE PAST FEW PREVIOUS ENTRIES.  THERE IS ONE VERY ANGRY MAN, WHO SAYS HE WORKS FOR THE DOC, WHO IS WRITING NASTY THINGS...HE IS ANGRY, AND I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM..............HOWEVER, I AM HAPPY THAT THIS JOURNAL HAS CAUSED PEOPLE THROUGHOUT AMERICA TO "THINK."......AND THAT MAKES ME EXTREMLY HAPPY.......NOT ONLY FOR MYSELF, BUT FOR THE PUBLIC TO "OPEN THEIR MINDS," TO WHAT GOES ON IN OUR SOCIETY.......TO DISCUSS THINGS OUT....TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON...THE FEELINGS OF PRISONERS, THEIR LOVED ONES, AND YES, EVEN THOSE WORKING IN THE PRISON SYSTEM..........THAT IS WHAT LIFE AND OUR WORLD IS ALL ABOUT..........SO, I THANK YOU FOR EXPRESSING YOUR OPINIONS..........AND MAYBE , TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP TO MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE IN.

CTbadCOP197, SEEMS TO THINK HE IS HERE , ON THIS JOURNAL, TO "EXPOSE,' MY HUSBAND.  THERE ARE NO SECRETS, AND I'VE BEEN HONEST ALL ALONG.  I WILL TRY TO MAKE THINGS CLEAR, AS I THINK 'CT COP," HAS THINGS A LITTLE MIXED UP.  AND I WOULD SUGGEST YOU CHECK OUT HIS PROFILE....GO THERE, AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN.....ALSO, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK  "LOVR ROBIN," WHO WRITES A LONG COMMENT, AND SAYS IT WAY BETTER THAN ME....YOU REALLY TOLD HIM OFF, ROBIN!.. THANK YOU SO MUCH....

CT COP, SAYS TO E-MAIL HIM, AND HE WILL GIVE YOU JIMMY'S SBI NUMBER, ETC......IT IS NO SECRET.  IF YOU WANT HIS NUMBER, JUST E-MAIL ME.  YES, JIMMY WAS IN PRISON BEFORE, MANY YEARS AGO, FOR "BOOTLEGGING MUSIC"  (MAKING COPIES OF CD'S).......HE SPENT 18 MONTHS ON "JONE FARM."  THIS IS NO SECRET, BELIEVE ME!...I THINK I EVEN WRITE ABOUT IT IN THIS JPURNAL, AROUND A YEAR OR SO AGO.............JONES FARM IS TOGETHER WITH "CRAF, " WHERE HE IS RIGHT NOW.....MANY OF THE PEOPLE WORKING IN THE PRISON RECOGNIZE HIM.....ALSO, JIMMY WENT INTO PRISONS, AS A BAIL BONDSMNAN (HE WAS ONE FOR 12 YEARS), AND MANY PEOPLE KNOW HIM.  WHEN JIMMY WAS AT JONES FARM  (I THINK IT WAS IN THE 80'S), HE HAD A VERY GOOD JOB, THERE.  HE PLACED THE CRIMINALS IN JOBS IN THE PRIISON....SO, HE WORKED IN THE EMPLOYMENT CENRER, AND WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR PLACING HUNDREDS OF CRIMINALS IN PRISON JOBS.

JIMMY HAS ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT MOST PEOPLE WORKING IN THE PRISON SYSTEM ARE NICE TO HIM.  HE HAS NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH ANYONE...HE IS NICE TO THEM, AND THEY ARE NICE TO HIM...PERIOD.

JIMMY HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MODEL PRISONER, WHILE IN PRISON...HE FOLLOWS ALL RULES, AND IS A NON-VIOLENT PERSON.  HE REPEATEDLY SAYS HE IS SORRY FOR HIS CRIMES, AND HE WOULD NEVER DONE ANY CRIMINAL ACTIVITY, IF HE HAD MET ME EARLIER IN LIFE...

SORRY TO CAUSE SUCH A "STIR,' IN YOUR LIFE, CT COP....CT COP, HAS "IM'D " ME, AND I TRIED TO EXPAIN THINGS FOR HIM, AND CLEAR THINGS UP....AS WE WERE ON THE COMPUTER, HE PULLED UP JIMMY'S PRISON RECORDS...HE THOUGHT I WOULD BE SHOCKED, AS HE TOLD ME JIMMY'S SBI NUMBER, AND OTHER INFO ABOUT HIM....YESM IT IS ALL PUBLIC RECORD....MY HUSBAND HAD TO CHECK FILES OF CRIMINALS IN HIS OWN JOB AS A ONDSMAN, SO I KNOW IT IS THERE..........I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO PROVE, BUT IN MY BOOK, YOU ARE PROVING NOTHING...........YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY MY HUSBAND WAS NEVER HONEST WITH ME, AS SO MANY CRIMINALS ARE TOWARDS THEIR WIVES..........WELL, OUR LOVE AND MARRIAGE IS STRONGER THEN YOUR WORDS, BECAUSE WE WERE JOINED TOGETHER BEFORE GOD, HIMSELF, IN THIS LIFETIME.

GOOD NIGHT............FRAN

OUR MARRIAGE IS BLESSED BY GOD

HI EVERYONE!.....JIMMY IS STILL IN THE SAME PLACE...THEY HAVE NOT MOVED HIM YET...HE JUST CALLED ME A FEW MINUTES AGO...ALL IS "STATUS QUO."............WE DISCUSSED OUR LOVE AND DEVOTION TO EACH OTHER........A LOT OF PEOPLE TRY TO HURT ME, BY SAYING I MARRIED A MAN WHO IS A CRIMINAL, AND THAT IS A TERRIBLE THING.....JIMMY EXPLAINED ON THE PHONE TO ME, THAT THESE PEOPLE, WHO ARE ANGRY WITH ME, HAVE NEVER FOUND LOVE IN THEIR LIFE...THEY HAVE NEVER FOUND THE LOVE JIMMY AND I HAVE WITH EACH OTHER....AND , AS I SIT HERE , ALONE, AT HOME, WITH MY HUSBAND IN A PRISON CELL, THOSE PEOPLE THAT ARE ANGRY, AND LEAVE ANGRY COMMENTS HERE TO ME, AS YOU CAN READ IN THE PREVIOUS COMMENTS, ARE ANGRY, BECAUSE IN REALITY, THEY HAVE NEVER FOUND LOVE IN THEIR LIVES.............SOME OF THE PEOPLE WORKING IN THE DOC, ARE ANGRY, BVECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER FOUND THE "ONE" PERSON IN THEIR LIVES WHO IS THE ULTIMATE PARTNER........AND THEY ARE ANGRY BECAUSE WOMEN, WHO ARE PRISONER'S WIVES, ARE SO DEDICATED..........ONE PERSON, WHO WORKS FOR THE DOC, (DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS)   COMMENTED SEVERAL TIMES HERE...HE WAS A VERY ANGRY PERSON....AND THEN, I SPOKE WITH HIM...HERE ON THE COMPUTER, BECAUSE HE IM'D ME...AND I TRIED TO EXPLAIN MY DEVOTION TO MY HUSBAND, ALTHOUGH I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN THAT TO ANYONE...BUT, I WOULD LIKE TO "TEACH" HIM EXACTLY WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT.........THIS PERSON, WAS ABLE TO PULL MY HUSBANDS PRISON RECORDS UP, ON THE COMPUTER, EVEN GIVING ME HIS SBI NUMBER....HE TOLD ME EVERYTHING HE SAW ON MY HUSBANDS CRIMINAL RECORD.......YOU SEE, HE WAS TRYING TO SCARE ME BUT HE DID NOT SUCEED..HE DID NOT TELL ME ANYTHING I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW........HE DID NOT SCARE ME.  HOWEVER, I FEEL SORRY FOR PEOPLE LIKE THIS, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER FOUND TRUE LOVE IN A RELATIONSHIP.........HE TRIED TO TELL ME THINGS THAT I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT MY HUSNBAND...HE WAS INSINUATING THAT CRIMINALS LIE TO THEIR WIVES, AND HOLD BACK THEIR PASTS...WELL, THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT MY HUSBAND THAT I DON'T KNOW, OR THAT HE WOULD NOT TELL ME ABOUT.................AND . SO, WE FEEL SO VERY BLESSED, FROM GOD HIMSELF, THAT WE MET, FELL IN LOVE, AND HAVE A STRONGER LOVE AND MARRIAGE THAN MOST PEOPLE IN OUR SOCIETY HAVE........JIMMY AND I ARE OLD-FASHIONED IN MANY WAYS, WHEN IT COMES TO OUR MARRIAGE......AND EVEN SEPERATED BY PRISON WALLS, I AM THE MOST LOVED WOMAN IN THE WORLD, ATTHIS TIME....MY HUSBAND IS TOTALLY CONNECTED WITH ME...HE KNOWS ALL THINGS GOING ON IN HISHOUSEHOLD........AND WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER IN MANY LIEFTIMES BEFORE...AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE CONNECTED THROUGH ETERNITY...........AND THAT IS MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE IN OUR COUNTRY CAN SAY, SINCE WE HAVE A DIVORCE RATE OF OVER 50 PER CENT, IN AMERICA..........SO, IF ANYMORE OF YOU DOC GUYS ARE OUT THERE READING MY JOURNAL, INSTEAD OF PUTTING ME DOWN, PRAY THAT YOU MEET A WONDERFUL WOMAN/MAN, AND HAVE A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP, AS JIMMY AND I DO.........JIMMY AND I HAVE A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS BOUND WITH ELEMENTS STRONGER THAN STEEL, AND PLEASE DON'T FORGET THAT....OUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO SET AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHERS, THAT THEY CAN KNOW WHAT LOVE AND MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT, AND FIND THAT ONE PERSON THEY ARE MEANT TO BE WITH.........FRAN

Pray for....Barb's sister

TONIGHT I WOULD LIKE TO ASK ALL THOSE READING THIS JOURNAL, TO PLEASE SAY A SPECIAL PRAYER FOR BARB, WHO IS A READER OF THIS JOURNAL, AND WRITES HER OWN JOURNAL, AND HER SISTER, WHO IS  VERY SICK AT THIS TIME...........I KNOW THIS JOURNAL REACHES MANY PEOPLE, SO WE NEED A "COMBINED EFFORT...THAT IS PRAYER, AT THIS TIME........IF PRISONERS ARE READING THIS, PLEASE SAY YOUR PRAYERS FOR BARB'S SISTER.......I KNOW FOR MYSELF, WHEN I WAS VERY SICK, IN 2004, MY HUSBAND HAD THE INMATES PRAYING, AND MAKING PRAYER CHAINS, AND MIRACLOUSLY, I SURVIVED IT, WHEN EVEN THE DOCTORS SAID THERE WAS NO HOPE FOR ME, AND I WOULD DIE...........SO PLEASE, INMATES AND WIVES, PRAY FOR BARB'S SISTER...........I HAVE A VERY ACTIVE IMAGINATION, AND TONIGHT I CAN SEE A VISON OF ALL THE MEN , IN THE PRISONS, ACROSS AMERICA........PRAYING FOR THIS WOMAN........ISN'T THIS A WONDERFUL THING!....THAT YOU CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE TO SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD...EVEN FROM A PRISON................I BELIEVE THE PRAYERS OF PRISONERS ARE SOME OF THE MOST POWERFUL!

AS I UNDERSTAND IT, SHE HAS SEVERE DIABETES, AS I MYSELF HAVE.........SHE NOW NEEDS TRIPLE BYPASS SURGERY, BUT HAS A SEVERE INFECTION, AS I , TOO HAD IN 2004.................WE ARE PRAYING THAT SHE WILL GET BETTER...................I BELIEVE IN GOD, AND THE POWER WITHIN YOURSELF, THROUGH GOD.......IN SEPT. 2004, I , TOO HAD A MASSIVE INFECTION, MRSA, UNRESPONSIVE TO ANTIBIOTICS...THE 9 DOCTORS WORKING ON ME HAD LOST HOPE, AND SAID I WOULD DIE.  THEY ASKED MY SISTER IF "MY THINGS WERE IN ORDER," AS THEY FELT I WAS DYING..........BUT I SURVIVED.......THE IMFECTION WAS SO SEVERE, IT HAD SPREAD THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE BODY, AND BRAIN....THEY INFUSED ME WITH MASSIVE DOSES OF VANCOMYCIN, AND ANOTHER ANTIBX......MY HEMOGLOBIN KEPT FALLING AND I WAS TRANSFUSED WITH 4 UNITS OF PACKED CELLS........I WAS DEHYDRATED AND ALL ELECTROLYTES WERE OFF BALANCE.....MY BONE MARROW STOPPED PRODUCING RED CELLS, AND MY ENTIRE IMMUNE SYSTEM COLLAPSED.....INJECTIONS TO REBUILD THE BONE MARROW WERE GIVEN TO ME............IN REALITY I SHOULD HAVE DIED, BUT DIDN'T........TODAY, PEOPLE CALL ME A "WALKING MIRACLE."........I HAD A TOE AMPUTATED, AND HALF MY FOOT SPLIT OPEN TO REMOVE AN ABCESS, WITH THE WOUND 9 1/2 CM X2 CM(DEEP).........I CAME HOME, ALONE, AFTER SPENDING 6 WEEKS IN THE HOSPITAL, AND NURSED MYSELF BACK TO HEALTH, BARELY ABLE TO WALK...NEARLY FAINTING ALL THE TIME, AND SHORT OF BREATH...TAKING CARE OF 3 ANIMALS...NO ONE WOULD HELP ME OUT.....MY HUSBAND WAS AT KINTOCK.............AND THEN, I WAS SEEING THE SURGEON EVERY WEEK...HE TOLD ME HE WOULD HAVE TO DO 2 MORE SURGERIES ON MY FOOT............WELL, IN MY HEAD "WILD HORSES COULD NOT GET ME BACK IN THAT HOSPITAL!.........SO, I BELIEVED THAT MY FOOT WOULD HEAL..........AND I BELIEVED, AND BELIEVED, AND BELIEVED, EVER SO STRONGLY, BECAUSE I KNEW I WOULD NOT LAY IN THAT HOSPITAL AGAIN............AND SO, THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2004, I WENT TO THE DOCTOR, AND HIS EXACT WORDS WERE........"THIS IS AMAZING...YOU HAVE  A MIRACULOUS HEALING QUALITY WITHIN YOUR BODY (HE WAS LOOKING AT THE FOOT, AND MY LEGS, WHICH HAD LYMPHEDEMA, AND HAD 3 INCHES OF WATER IN EACH LEG)...........YOUR WOUND IS HEALING, AND THE EDEMA IS GOING DOWN....I DO NOT NEED TO DO ANY FURTHER SURGERIES...............

WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS STORY, ONCE AGAIN...I HAVE TOLD IT MANY TIMES.........."BECAUSE ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, THROUGH GOD."........BECAUSE WITH FAITH, AND A STRONG POWER FROM WITHIN, THRUOUGH GOD, MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.................A DOCTOR MAY TELL YOU , YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE, LIKE THEY DID WITH ME, BUT I BEAT THE ODDS OF 9, YES 9 DOCTORS!....AND THEN, 2 MONTHS LATER, MY FOOT AND AMPUITATION HEALED...AND EVEN THE SURGEON HIMSELF, SAID IT WAS A MIRACLE...........ONE MUST BELIEVE, AND HAVE A STRONG FORCE FROM WITHIN........AND, BY THE WAY, I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN MIRACLES.........I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT ALWAYS HAVE STRANGE THINGS HAPPENING TO HER......I'M NOT A STATISTIC...AND, OH BY THE WAY, I BELIEVE IN ANGELS, TOO!

AND SO, FOR BARB'S SISTER WE WILL PRAY....AND HELP HER THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME.................LOVE, FRAN

CRAF, WEST TRENTON, NJ

HI EVERYONE, AND THANKS FOR READING MY JOURNAL!...WELL, EXACTLY HOW IS NEW YEAR'S FOR A PRISONER AT CRAF?........VERY TERRIBLE, LET ME TELL YOU.........MOST OF THE MEN ARE DEPRESSED...........JIMMY SAYS IT IS LIKE A BIG, BARREN WAREHOUSE..........VERY LITTLE READING MATERIAL.....WINDOWS ARE COVERED IN PLASTIC, DUE TO THE COLD.........ONE SMALL WINDOW THAT JIMMY WALKS TO EACH DAY, TO LOOK OUTSIDE, FOR A FEW MINUTES............NO RADIOS...........NO NEWSPAPERS........THEY ARE LET OUT OF THEIR CELLS FOR A SHORT WHILE EACH DAY, AT WHICH TIME THEY SHAVE, SHOWER, AND MAKE PHONE CALLS.............TRUTHFULLY, THERE IS NOTHING TO DO THERE, AS IT IS AN EVALUATION AND HOLDING AREA...IT IS NOT LIKE A REGULAR PRISON, WHERE YOU ARE ALLOWED YOUR OWN RADIO AND TV, AND CAN GO TO THE PRISON LIBRARY, AND WILL HOLD A SMALL JOB IN THE PRISON...........NO, NOTHING..........BOREDOM, AND I SUPPOSE APATHY CAN SET IN FOR SOME.................I'M REALLY SURPRISED AT THE PENAL SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY.............ONE CAN GET SICK PHYSICALLY, AND MENTALLY, BEING LOCKED UP FOR DAYS ON END, IN A VERY SMALL PLACE, WITH LITTLE OR NO STIMULATION.......CRAF IS GOOD FOR WHAT IT IS, BUT YOU MUST REALIZE, MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES BY KINTOCK...HE IS INNOCENT, AND YET BECAUSE HE GOT CAUGHT IN THE HOLIDAY TIMES, HE HAS BEEN KEPT AT CRAF....IN AN 8'X9' CELL...TO ME THAT IS LIKE TREATING AN ANIMAL, ONLY WORSE..........JIMMY IS A BIG MAN, AS MANY ARE THERE........HE IS 3OO LBS, AND SHARES THAT CELL WITH A ROOMMATE, WHO IS BIPOLAR, AND TALKS ALL DAY AND NIGHT..............EVEN THE OTHER PRISONERS HEAR HIM ALL NIGHT, AND IN THE MORNING THEY ASK JIMMY HOW HE CAN STAND IT..........JIMMY JUST IGNORES IT, AND ON THE OTHER HAND, LISTENS TO THIS FELLOW ENDLESS STORIES.........JIMMY WRITES ME VERY LONG LETTERS, AND HE HAS TO LEAN ON THE TOILET THAT IS NEXT TO HIS BED, WHEN HE IS WRITING THEM......YUCK...HOW DISGUSTING.......I JUST DON'T GET IT........JIMMY SAID THERE IS A MAIN TV, THAT IS ON ALMOST ALL DAY...THE TV CAN BE SEEN FROM THE FIRST 6 CELLS....HE IS IN TH 7TH, SO HE CAN'T SEE IT, BUT HEARS IT......ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, THE INMATES PUT ON A MOVIE, THAT PLAYED OVER AND OVER...,.,JIMMY SAYS HE WISHED THEY HAD PUT ON THE NEW YEAR'S CELEBRATION WITH DICK CLARK...BUT NO. THAT IS HOW THE INMATES ARE...THEY WANT TO FORGET IT IS A HOLIDAY, I GUESS.......JIMMY CALLED ME AT 5PM TODAY....I HAD JUST GOTTEN UP, BECAUSE IT IS GETTING HARDER EVERYDAY TO GET UP  ( YOUWILL BE PROUD OF ME, HOWEVER, BECAUSE I HAD THE ENERGY TO CLEAN THE ENTIRE HOUSE, ON NEW YEAR'S EVE....MOPPING FLOORS, CLEANING STOVE...ETC., ETC).........WITH RADIO PLAYING IN THE KITCHEN, AND TV IN THE LIVING ROOM..............

SO WHEN JIMMY CALLED ME TODAY, HE SAID, "FRAN, THERE ARE AROUND 40 MEN OUT OF THEIR CELLS, AND WALKING AROUND, AND CAN YOU IMAGINE, I AM THE ONLY ONE TALKING ON THE PHONE"..............YES, THE POOR PRISONERS ARE SO DEPRESSED, THEY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THEIR FAMILIES TO EVEN CALL THEM ON A HOLIDAY...............AND SO, MY LOVING HUSBAND, MADE 2 , 15 MINUTE COLLECT CALLS TO ME.......THE FIRST CALL, I WASN'T IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD, BUT BY THE SECOND, I WAS BETTER.........AND JIMMY APOLOGIZED TO ME, ONCE AGAIN FOR PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS............WHAT CAN I SAY...I'M IN LOVE WITH THE MAN...............AND BY THE 2ND CALL, WE WERE ONCE AGAIN JOKING AND LAUGHING, AND WHISPERING SWEET NOTHINGS INTO EACH OTHERS EARS........

I AM SO GLAD IT IS NOW 2006.........THIS WEEK , JIMMY WILL BE MOVED OUT OF CRAF.....I KNOW HIS DESTINATION, BUT WILL STILL KEEP IT A SECRET.......

 

................................."JIMMY'S LOVE LETTER TO ME"

.....THIS WILL BE A HAPPY NEW YEAR...2006....FROM YOUR HUSBAND

DEAR MRS. WIFE,

I AM THINKING ABOUT THE SAYING, "IT IS BETTER TO GIVE, THAN RECEIVE."....................I THINK IT MAY HAVE MISSED THE POINT.

THE TWO ACTS ARE INSEPERABLE......GIVING IS RECEIVING.

THE ULTIMATE GIFT, UNQUALIFIED LOVE, IS THE ULTIMATE SELF-REALIZATION.

IN THAT, YOU ARE, FRAN, MY SELF-REALIZATION, OF LOVE AND TRUTH, AND BEAUTY.

NO OTHER THING MATTERS......NOT TIME......NOT DISTANCE, FOR AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU TO GIVE MY LOVE TO,........I AM FREE.......I AM COMPLETE........I AM REAL.....I KNOW I HAVE A VALUE.

THIS WILL BE OUR YEAR.......THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES......AND IT IS GOING TO BE WONDERFUL.

    LOVE,   YOUR JIMMY    (PLEASE READ THIS, FRAN , ON 12/31/05...AT 11:59 PM........JUST BEFORE THE NEW YEAR COMES IN)