the turning of time

WHEN JIMMY WAS HOME LAST WEEK-END, HE WAS WORKING ON THE COMPUTER, CLEANING UP THE FILES, AS I COOKED IN THE KITCHEN.  SUDDENLY, HE CALLED ME INTO THE COMPUTER ROOM, WHICH IS OFF THE KITCHEN....I WENT IN THERE, AND HE WAS STARING WITH DISBELIEF, AT A PICTURE OF MINE.  HE SAID, "FRAN, IS THIS YOU?  IT LOOKS LIKE YOU, BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT IS YOU....IT IS YOU, WITH THE FACE OF A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN "BEATEN UP."  I SAID "YES JIMMY, THAT IS ME, AND I WASN'T BEATEN UP.  THAT IS THE FACE OF  A WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND HAS RECENTLY BEEN LOCKED UP IN PRISON."......JIMMY JUST KEPT STARING AT IT...I THOUGHT HE MAY CRY........MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE DELETED IT, BUT ON SECOND THOUGHT I THINK IT IS A GOOD IDEA FOR JIMMY TO SEE HOW I LOOKED..........MY FACE WAS SWOLLEN...MY EYES WERE SWOLLEN FROM THE CONTINUOS CRYING.......I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I WAS A MESS.  DURING THOSE FIRST DAYS, AND MONTHS,  AND EVEN YEARS.  I ACTUALLY LIVED IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION OF TIME AND SPACE...............I KEPT THE HOUSE QUIET. NO RADIO, NO TV.  I WAS UNABLE TO FOLLOW ANYONE'S CONVERSTAION FOR TOO LONG A PERIOD. I COULD NOT LISTEN TO PEOPLE, OR EVEN BE AROUND THEM FOR TOO LONG A PERIOD OF TIME.....MY DAYS CONSISTED OF GETTING THROUGH ONE HOUR, AND THEN THE NEXT.........MY WORDS TO JIMMY THE NIGHT BEFORE HE LEFT FOR JAIL ON MARCH 28, 2003, WERE, "JIMMY, YOU ARE GOING TO A PLACE THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET YOU OUT OF...I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACH YOU."  (i was holding his head in my hands at that moment in time)..........JIMMY'S ANSWER TO ME WAS, "WE HAVE A GOOD ATTORNEY, FRAN".................(i felt lost and powerless, maybe for the first time in my life....i didn't know where to turn to, or who to go, to that could help jmmy get out of prison .  i was his wife, and i could not help him, and that distressed me the most.  but once someone becomes part of the prison system, you have no power........it is a terrible thing, and i don't wish it on anyone)...................MAYBE IT IS GOOD FOR PEOPLE TO GO THROUGH THIS BIZARRE EXPERIENCE AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIFE................

AS SO MANY OF YOU PRISON WIVES CAN UNDERSTAND, I WAS ALONE, LONELY AND VERY SCARED.  I HUNG ON WITH ONE FINE THREAD TO LIFE.  I LIVED FOR JIMMY'S 15 MINUTE COLLECT CALLS.  I WAS LEFT WITH SO MANY PROBLEMS TO TAKE CARE OF IN THE HOUSEHOLD....I ORGANIZED EVERYTHING...AND I MOVED WITH ONE TINY STEP AT A TIME......JIMMY WOULD INSTRUCT ME OVER AND OVER ABOUT WHAT I SHOULD DO ABOUT SO MANY HOUSEHOLD THINGS....BEFORE JIMMY LEFT, HE WAS DOING ALL THE FINANCES, ETC....AND I WAS AT A LOSS WHEN HE LEFT..............BUT I HUNG ON, BY DOING IT STEP BY STEP, MINUTE BY MINUTE, AS SO MANY OF YOU OUT THERE ARE DOING IT..

AND THE DAYS TURNED INTO WEEKS...THE WEEKS TURNED INTO MONTHS.....AND THE SEASONS CAME AND WENT..........THE WHEELS OF TIME TURNED.........AND AS THE WHEELS TURNED, LIFE BECAME MORE BEARABLE..........UNTIL FINALLY, LAST SPRING, AFTER 2 YEARS OF JIMMY BEING WITHIN THE PRISON SYSTEM, I WAS ABLE TO SMILE..............

"TO SMILE," BECAME A "CONSCIOUS DECISION "  FOR ME.........THEN IT BECAME EASIER, WITH TIME...........I READ IT IN A BOOK.........WHEN YOU ARE TAKING YOUR MORNING SHOWER, SMILE...EVEN IF IT HURTS, FORCE THE MUSCLES IN YOUR FACE TO SMILE............AND THAT IS WHAT I DID EACH DAY, UNTIL NOW, I CAN SMILE EASILY.........AND ACTUALLY FEEL HAPPINESS.

LAST WEEK, I READ SOMEWHERE , THAT THERE IS THE HIGHEST RATE OF DEPRESSION IN OUR COUNTRY, DURING 3 MONTHS.........THOSE MONTHS ARE DECEMBER, JANUARY, AND FEBRUARY.  IT IS BECAUSE OF PAST HOLIDAY MEMORIES, THAT NO LONGER ARE, FINANCIAL WORRIES WITH THE HOLIDAY SEASON, AND THE COLD, SNOWY WEATHER.  IT WAS SURPRISING, HOWEVER, TO READ THAT THE SUICIDE RATE DURING THOSE 3 MONTHS IS AT IT'S LOWEST RATE........WELL, THAT IS A GOOD THING.

WELL, GOING BACK TO THAT PIX JIMMY FOUND OF ME........I'D LIKE TO SAY, I WAS BEATEN UP, AND FELT THAT WAY, WHEN JIMMY WAS GONE.......MENTALLY, NOT PHYSICALLY.  THERE ARE SO MANY OF YOU WOMAN OUT THERE, ESPECIALLY DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON, WHO ARE WITHOUT THEIR LOVED ONES, AND MAY BE FEELING THIS WAY..........PLEASE REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE...............I UNDERSTAND THE DIMENSION OF TIME YOU MAY BE LIVING IN..........AND HAVE FAITH THAT THE WHEELS OF TIME WILL TURN, AND THINGS WILL CHANGE................................WITH LOVE,  FRAN

 

not coming home tomorrow

JIMMY IS NOT COMING HOME TOMORROW, TUESDAY, AS IT WASN'T APPROVED.....I TOLD HIM IT'S OK, BECAUSE HE SHOULD REST, ANYHOW, SINCE HIS TRIP BACK AND FORTH HOME, TAKES SO LONG....HE SAID. I WANT TO BE HOME WITH MY WIFE....

EVERYONE HERE IS EXHAUSTED AFTER JIMMY BEING HOME.....PRINCE SLEPT ALL DAY, AND IS REAL QUIET.....AFTER ALL, JIMMY TOOK HIM FOR SO MANY WALKS, AND PRINCE ATE A LOT OF TURKEY, FOR 2 DAYS.,...WELL, NOW IN A LITTLE WHILE, I HAVE TO TELL HIM DADDY IS NOT COMING HOIME TOMORROW.......HE WILL BE SAD....HE KNOWS THE WORDS "JIMMY,' AND "PAPA"..........I GUESS JIMMY WILL COME HOME NEXT SUNDAY.....ALSO, JIMMY IS BUSY AT THE STORE, AND HAS A VERY RESPONSIBLE POSITION, SO I UNDERSTAND....

WELL, I RESTED ALL DAY TODAY, AND NOW AM WATCHING TV.....WIFE SWAP....I ONLY WATCH IT TO SEE HOW STRANGE IT IS.....THEY LIKE TO SWAP FAMILIES WHO AR COMPLETELY OPPOSITE OF EACH OTHER........TONIGHT, HOWEVER, I THINK THEY WENT A STEP OVERBOARD.....ONE FAMILY IS "VERY CHRISTIAN," WITH THE FATHER A MINISTER....THE OTHER FAMILY IS AGNOSTIC..........I DON'T THINK YOU CAN EVER TELL A PERSON NOT TO PRAY TO GOD....WHAT IS IN YOUR BRAIN, IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU...NO ONE CAN CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS...OR YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM.......I THINK THE SHOW IS WRONG IN THIS ASPECT, AND IT IS WRONG TO EXPOSE THE CHILDREN TO THIS......THE SHOW IS VERY ODD!

JIMMY SAYS HE WOULD NEVER SWAP ME WITH ANOTHER Family.....NOT FOR 1 WEEK, OR 2 WEEKS, NOT 1 DAY, OR EVEN A FEW HOURS........FOR THAT MATTER , HE LIKES TO KEEP TRACK OF ME AT ALL TIMES, AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY......HE IS EVEN THINKING OF PUTTING A COMPUTER MICRO CHIP IMPLANTED IN ME, SO HE WILL ALWAYS KNOW WHERE I AM  (JUST KIDDING!)

WELL, GOOD-NITE EVERYONE!.......................FRAN

JIMMY LEFT FOR KINTOCK

HI EVERYBODY!

JIMMY LEFT FOR KINTOCK A LITTLE WHILE AGO...HE TOOK THE 6PM BUS BACK TO KINTOCK....HE WAS NOT APPROVED FOR A 2-NIGHT LEAVE, PROBABLY DUE TO THE HOLIDAY FACTOR, I'M SURE KINTOCK WANTS ALL THEIR RESIDENTS BACK ON SUNDAY NIGHT.........WELL, IT'S OK, AS WE HAD A REALLY GREAT TIME!

JIMMY'S NEXT DAY OFF IS THIS TUESDAY  (DAY AFTER TOMORROW).  HE IS HOPING TO GET HIS FURLOUGH HOME APPROVED FOR TUESDAY.......OTHERWISE, HIS NEXT DAY OFF WON'T BE FOR 10 OR MORE DAYS.  SO, HE WILL PAY HIS RESIDENT FEES TOMORROW, WITH A MONEY ORDER, AND HOPE HE COMES HOME AGAIN ON TUESDAY.   ONE IMPORTANT REASON HE WANTS TO COME HOME TUESDAY, IS SO HE CAN TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL, TO HAVE A MEDICAL PROBLEM OF MINE LOOKED INTO....IT IS NOT A REAL BIG THING, BUT MY HUSBAND WANTS IT LOOKED AT, AND TAKEN CARE OF BEFORE THINGS GET WORSE.(it is related to last year's septic shock).   HE WANTED TO TAKE ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TODAY, BUT THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH TIME TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL TODAY, SINCE HE HAD TO GET BACK EARLY.

AND SO, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YESTERDAY...........WE MADE LOTS OF FOOD.......A 14 LB. TURKEY WITH STUFFING, FRESH CRANBERRY SAUCE, SAUTEED MUSHROOMS, SALAD AND OLIVES, SWEET POTATOES WITH MARSHMALLOWS, CHEDDAR CHEESE ROLLS, MASHED POTATOES....later , i made the coffee......THE PUMPKIN PIE IS STILL IN THE FRIDGE.  IT NEVER MADE IT'S WAY OUT!

JIMMY LOVED THE TURKEY, AND SAID IT WAS VERY BEAUTIFUL...I WAS LIKE MARTHA STEWART....IT WAS GOLDEN IN COLOR, AND VERY MOIST.........AND, HE ALWAYS COMPLIMENTS ME ON MY COFFEE!...............WELL. I HAVE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND, AS HE SERVED EVERYTHING, AND AFTERWARDS CLEARED THE TABLE, AND EVEN WASHED THE DISHES.   WHEN JIMMY LEAVES HERE, ON HIS WAY BACK TO KINTOCK, HE LEAVES THE WHOLE HOUSE SPOTLESS, WITH GARBAGE TAKEN OUT, ETC...........WE GOT UP AT 10 AM, AND SAT AND TALKED AND TOOK CARE OF SO MANY IMPORTANT THINGS THAT KEEP A HOUSEHOLD RUNNING PROPERLY.....JIMMY TOOK PRINCE FOR 7 OR 8 WALKS, AND HE WAS SO EXCITED, BUT NIOW HE IS SOUND ASLEEP.

I'M A LITTLE TIRED NOW, AND WILL REST FOR A WHILE....HOWEVER, I DON'T HAVE THAT "DRAINED FEELING, " THAT I DID IN THE BEGINNING.  I FEEL HAPPY, AND CONTENT TO HAVE A WONDERFUL MARRIAGE ANDHUSBAND..A MARRIAGE THAT HAS ONLY GOTTEN BETTER SINCE WE GOT MARRIED 5 YEARS AGO............I THINK THAT IS WHAT MAKES US "TICK."  THAT IS, WE HAVE AN UNUSUAL MARRIAGE THAT NOT ONLY SURVIVED PRISON WALLS, BUT ONLY MATURED........JIMMY BEING IN KINTOCK, A HALF-WAY HOUSE HAS HELPED HIM BECOME EVEN A MORE WONDERFUL MAN.....................................FRAN

jimmy

HI EVERYBODY JIMMY IS HERE.....I'M COOKING THE TURKEY AND TRIMMINGS, AND JIMMY JUST SET UP THE DSL LINE WITH COMCAST...IT IS GREAT, BUT JIMMY IS GREATER!...........WE ARE HAVING LOTS OF FUN, AND THE ANIMALS ARE HAPPY, TOO...........WHAT A WONDERFUL HUSBAND I HAVE!.........THE HOUSE COMES "ALIVE,' WHEN HE IS HERE.......................FRAN AND JIMMY

ANOTHER FURLOUGH HOME , TOMORROW

WELL, JIMMY WILL BE COMING HOME TOMORROW, SATURDAY, AT 1PM, FOR ANOTHER FURLOUGH ....THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT HE WILL BE HOME FOR 2, YES TWO, NIGHTS!...SO, HE WILL BE HERE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, AND LEAVE EARLY MONDAY MORNING, BECAUSE HE HAS TO GO TO WORK THAT DAY...I'M VERY EXCITED....IT SEEMS STRANGE FOR HIM TO SLEEP HERE, AT HOME, WITH ME, FOR 2 CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS...............I CAN'T WAIT...............DESPITE, THE ANIMALS, THE HOUSE IS ALWAYS COLD AND EMPTY WITHOUT JIMMY...........HE BRIGHTENS EVERYTHING UP WHEN HE IS HERE..........

SO, I HAVE THE HOUSEHOLD READY AND IN ORDER FOR HIM.......HE ALWAYS TELLS ME NOT TO DO ANYTHING , BUT I FEEL BETTER TO MOP THE FLOORS, VACUUM AND DUST THE PLACE, AND PUT CLEAN BED SHEETS ON THE BED...AS MOST WOMEN WOULD.

AND WE DECIDED TO COOK THE TURKEY AND TRIMMINGS, AND HAVE A DELAYED THANKSGIVING..........WE'LL COOK TOGETHER....JIMMY WILL MAKE THE MASHED POTATOES............I'LL DO THE SAUTEED MUSHROOMS, SALAD, SWEET POTATOES WITH MARSHMALLOWS.  I ASKED JIMMY IF HE WANTED TO COOK THE TURKEY HIMSELF....HE SAID, 'NO, FRAN.  I LIKE TO WATCH YOU DO IT.  I'LL HELP YOU LIFT IT INTO THE OVEN,,,I'LL DO THE HEAVY WORK."............AND SO, I'LL  COOK THE TURKEY, STUFFING AND GRAVY...........AND THE PUMPKIN PIE............IT IS EASY FOR ME, AND A JOY TO DO IT ..........JIMMY AND I AGREE, THAT THE EASIEST THING TO COOK IS A TURKEY.....AND OURS ALWAYS COMES OUT MOIST AND TASTY..........

WHEN MY HUSBAND IS COMING HOME, I ALWAYS DO SOME SILLY THINGS.............LIKE I MAKE SURE I DO nOT PUT ANY GARLIC POWDER ON MY SALAD FOR 2 DAYS BEFORE HE ARRIVES.......ONE DAY, I FORGOT, AND APOLIGIZED...........HE SAID, "YES, YOU SMELL STRONGLY OF GARLIC, BUT I LOVE IT.  ACTUALLY, IT TURNS ME ON."....WELL, I NEARLY FELL OFF THE SEAT.......IMAGINE HAVING A MAN WHO LIKES HIS WOMAN TO SMELL OF GARLIC.............WELL, RACHEL REY. WHO HAS BECOME VERY POPULAR, ON THE FOOD CHANNEL, SAYS THE SAME THING...SHE ALWAYS SMELLS OF GARLIC AND ONION, AND HER HUSBAND LIKES IT........................YES, YOU MUST AGREE I HAVE A VERY WONDERFUL HUSBAND!...................AND SO, I ESPECIALLY MAKE SURE I STOP EATING ALL FISH, A FEW DAYS BEFORE HE COMES HOME  , BECAUSE I JUST DON'T WANT TO SMELL LIKE A FISH.......SO I STOP EATING MY FAVORITES, LIKE SALMON, TUNA, AND SARDINES............ONE THING JIMMY HATES TO EAT IS FISH......AND I LOVE IT!..........HOWEVER, HE SAYS IT'S OK FOR ME TO KEEP EATING IT...HE OBVIOSLY LIKES THE SMELL OF FISH ON ME........WELLLLLLLLL, AFTER ALL, WE'RE ITALIAN!    :)

HEY, STOP!...........BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER I SMELL VERY NICE....SWEET...........AND JIMMY LOVES THE WAY MY HAIR SMELLS........LIKE STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM  (he is always playing with my hair, and smelling it!).

WELL, I'D BETTER GO NOW, AND GET SOME REST.........YES, JIMMY ALWAYS TELLS ME TO REST UP BEFORE HE GETS HOME........HE WANTS ME FULL OF ENERGY!.............SO I'LL DO THAT NOW.................HAVE A NICE EVENING, EVERYONE....AND THANKS FOR READING MY JOURNAL!.................................

THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE HEART-WARMING COMMENTS WRITTEN IN THE LAST ENTRY.........THANK YOU FOR YOUR "CYBER HUGS, " AND SUCH BEAUTIFUL PRAYERS.......I FEEL THOROUGHLY LOVED AND CARED FOR BY THOSE OUT THERE IN CYBER-SPACE.................AND OF COURSE, LOVED BY JIMMY, MY HUSBAND.

JIMMY CALLED ME THIS MORNING, BEFORE HE WENT TO WORK, AND WE HAD A LONG TALK........I WAS WATCHING THE MACY'S DAY PARADE ON TV, AND HE WAS LAUGHING AS I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE FLOATS AND BALLOONS, AS THEY APPEARED ON THE TV SCREEN.

JIMMY WILL HOPEFULLY COME HOME ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, AND WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT....

HOPING THAT YOU ARE ALL ENJOYING YOUR THANKSGIVING.....I CAN JUST SMELL THE TURKEY COOKING, ALONG WITH THE TRIMMINGS, AND OH, YES, THE PUMPKIN AND APPLE PIE!

WELL, I'LL BE TAKING PRINCE OUT FOR A WALK SOON....BOTH OF US WATCHED THE "DOG SHOW" ON TV, AFTER THE THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE.............PRINCE WAS VERY HAPPY.......BUT TO TO ME, PRINCE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAT THOSE DOGS ON TV  (LOL)..........HOWEVER, PRINCE DID SEE A FEW FEMALE DOGS HE WOULD LIKE TO GET FRIENDLY WITH.....

WELL, HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

................................FRAN AND JIMMY

PS...i just knew i couldn't stay away fom this journal for too long....it is very much a part of me................

the newS is here

HI EVERYONE....JIMMY SAW PAROLE TODAY....THE NEWS REALLY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME........HIS PAROLE DATE IS IN THE SPRING.........SO, THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING, PAROLE GAVE ME A NICE GIFT.......NOW, AT LEAST  I KNOW MY HUSBAND WOULDN'T BE HERE FOR THANKSGIVING, CHRISTMAS, NEW YEAR'S, VALENTINE'S DAY, AND ANY OTHER HOLIDAY THAT FALLS IN THOSE MONTHS..........HE MAY MAKE IT HERE BY ST. PATRICK'S DAY.........JIMMY IS HAPPY, AND SAID WE MUST BE THANKFUL AND HAPPY.........I SAID, YEA, AND NOW I HAVE TO GET THROUGH THE BIG FREEZE OF THE WINTER..........I'M NOT HAPPY AND I'M NOT THANKFUL.........SO THERE.................I SAID I MAY FIND A FRIEND TO KEEP ME COMPANY DURING THE WINTER MONTHS...HE LAUGHED.

EVERY RADIO STATION, AND TV STATION ONLY HAS SHOWS AND PROGRAMS ABOUT THANKSGIVING AND XMAS.........YOU JUST CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM IT..........I HAVEN'T GONE OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR 2 WEEKS , NOW, BECAUSE I DON'T FIT INTO THAT HUSTLE AND BUSTLE OF THE SEASON.................EVERYONE IS PREPARING TO STUFF THEMSELVES TOMORROW, BUT I BARELY HAVE ANY FOOD HERE IN MY HOUSE......TONITE I WILL GIVE PRINCE THE LAST 2 HAMBURGERS...AFTER ALL, HE IS A DOG, AND NEEDS TO EAT NOURISHING FOOD...AS FOR ME, I ATE A PIECE OF  BREAD AND CUP OF COFFEE, AND I'LL HAVE A SALAD TONITE....TOMORROW, I JUST DON'T KNOW.....FUNNY THING, MY HUSBAND IS IN A FOODSTORE, SURROUNDED BY HOLIDAY FOODS AND HOLIDAY PEOPLE................MY FATHER IN LAW.....WELL HE NEVER TALKS TO ME ANY MORE, AND IF HE DOES, HE LIES TO ME...HE IS THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE IN PRISON, HE IS THE ACTUAL CRIMINAL...ONE THAT NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT...,HE JUST SLID THROUGH THE SYSTEM HIS WHOLE LIFE.............AS FOR MY SISTER, WHO LIVES 10 MINUYTES FROM ME, WELL, SHE SENT ME AN E-MAIL THE OTHER DAY, WITH HER FAMOUS WORDS THAT SHE LOVES TO TELL ME....."I CAN'T HELP YOU OUT FOR THANKSGIVING.".......(WELL, EXCUSE ME, BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THANKSGIVING WAS ALL ABOUT FAMILY, AND INCLUDING THOSE WHO ARE ALONE ON THE HOLIDAY)......AND SO, TERRI, MY SISTER HAS EXCLUDED ME EVERY YEAR SINCE I AHVE LIVED HERE IN NEW JERSEY, AT THE HOLIDAY TIME.  SHE WILL GET TOGETHER AT HER SON'S HOUSE, AND SHE CAN NEVER, EVER THINK OF INCLUDING ME........AS IF 1 MORE PERSON, WHO IS ALONE, ON THANKSGIVING WILL MATTER.  SHE ACTS AS IF SHE BELONGS TO A SECRET SOCIETY, OF WHICH I AM EXCLUDED...THEY ARE ALL FAMILY MEMBERS, AND I EVEN MENTIONED TO HER THAT I HAVE NEVER METHER DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.....BUT THAT IS HOW IT IS, AND SOME PEOPLE, WELL, THEY JUST WILL NEVER CHANGE......BEFORE JIMMY WENT TO PRISON, WE WOULD TAKE TERRI OUT TO DINNER, MOVIES...LOTS OF PLACES, AND WE WOULD GATHERINGS FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.......ON THANKSGIVING, SHE IS ALWAYS TOO BUSY, SO JIMMY AND I WOULD INVITE SOME OF HIS FRIENDS TO OUR HOUSE AND WE COOK LOTS AND LOTS OF TURKEY AND TRIMMINGS...EVERYONE HAS A GOOD TIME, AND BRINGS FOOD HOME.....THEN, AFTER DINNER WE GO FOR A RIDE IN THE CAR, AND BRING FAMILY AND FRIENDS PLATES OF TURKEY AND STUFFING AND PIE, ETC.......WE GO TO THEIR HOMES, INCLUDING HIS FATHER, FATHER'S FRIENDS, MY SISITER AND AUNT.........IT IS COURTESY, WE FEEL TO INCLUDE THEM ON THE HOLIDAY, WITH SOME TURKEY, ALTHOUGH THEY COULD NOT MAKE IT TO OUR HOUSE.

SORRY TO GO ON AND ON............

I HAVE ANOTHE OLDER SISTER IN NORTH JERSY........SHE HAS BEEN LIVING IN HER HOUSE FOR OVER 30 YEARS...I HAVE NEVER BEEN INVITED THERE......SHE HAS 3 GROWN SONS....1 IS MY GOD CHILD, AND THE OTHER 2, WELL I HAVE NEVER MET THEM, EXCEPT SEEN THEM IN PHOTOS....EVERY YEAR OR SO, GLORIA, MY SISTER, SENDS ME A BIRTHDAY CARD, AND XMAS CARD.........SHE HAS NEVER INVITED ME TO HER HOUSE.........SHE NEVER RETURNS MY PHONE CALLS....FUNNY THING IS THAT LAST YEAR WHEN I WAS DYING, SHE SHOWED UP AT THE HOSPITAL ROOM DOOR....WHAT IS THE SENSE OF IT?........I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY SHE WANTED TO SEE HER SISTER FOR THE LAST TIME, WHEN SHE NEVER CARES ABOUT ME WHEN I'M ALIVE.......ON THANKSGIVING, GLORIA COOKS HUGH MEALS, INVITES FAMILY AND FRIENDS.........WHEN I LIVED 2,500 MIES AWAY FROM THEM, IN CALIFORNIA AND LAS VEGAS, I MADE IT A ROUTINE TO CALL THEM ON THE PHONE EVERY HOLIDAY........THE WAY I LOOK AT IT, GOD GAVE THEM AND MYSELF A CHANCE TO BE CLOSE TO EACH OTHER, BECAUSE JIMMY BROUGHT ME BACK TO THE EAST COAST....AND THEY ARE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT.,,,,,,SHAME ON THEM, WHEN YOU ARE 60 AND 62 YEARS OLD, YOU SHOULD WAKE UP, AND REALIZE WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT AT THAT TIME.................I TOLD JIMMY THE TRUTH, WHEN I FIRST MET HIM, "I HAVE NO FAMILY, JIMMY.".........."EVERYONE HAS SOME FAMILY, FRAN."..........."WELL, I DON'T."...........IT TOOK 4 YEARS OF ME BEING BACK HERE IN JERSEY FOR JIMMY TO SEE HOW THEY TREAT ME, FOR HIM NOW TO APOLOGIZE...."I'M SORRY I DOUBTED YOU, FRAN...YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE A FAMILY....YOU WERE RIGHT IN WHAT YOU TOLD ME."

TRUTHFULLY, I ENJOY STRANGERS...THEY ARE MORE OF A FAMILY TO ME...................WHEN WE ARE YOUNG, SOMETIMES FAMILY DOESN'T SEEM THAT IMPORTANT, BUT AS WE GET OLDER, WE REALLY NEED FAMILY.....(that's my piece of advice to you!)

AND SO, JIMMY AND I ARE OUR OWN FAMILY.........BUT, HERE WE ARE, STILL SEPERATED THROUGH TIME AND SPACE.........

AND SO, I WILL SAY GOOD-NITE.......MAY YOU ALL HAVE A PLEASANT AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING......I WILL BE THINKING OF ALL OF YOU WHO READ THIS JOURNAL......

I WILL ESPECIALLY BE THINKING ABOUT THOSE WOMEN WHO HAVE HUSBANDS AND LOVED ONES IN PRISON, AND WHO SPEND, YES, ONE MORE THANKSGIVING WITHOUT THE ONE YOU LOVE AT YOUR THANKSGIVING TABLE.....NO ON EKNOWS JUST HOW HARD IT IS...........MAYBE THERE IS A PURPOSE FOR ALL OF THIS...OF OUR SUFFERING........IN A WORLD FULL OF GAITY AND HAPPINESS AND HOLIDAYS.....

I THINK I MAY BE TAKING A LITTLE BREAK FROM WRITING THIS JOURNAL....I'M NOT SURE....MAYBE I WOULDN'T, BUT RIGHT NOW, THIS MINUTE, I FEEL I WILL, BECAUSE MY THOUGHTS ARE JUST NOT HAPPY ONES RIGHT NOW, AND IT IS BETTER FOR ME TO BE ALONE...............FRAN

some very, very, very good news!

JIMMY CALLED ME A LITTLE WHILE AGO WITH SOME VERY GOOD NEWS...ACTUALLY, IT IS THE NEWS WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR......

KINTOCK CALLED HIM AT WORK, AND SAID THAT THE PAROLE BOARD WILL COME TO SEE HIM TOMORROW.......I THINK, JUST MAYBE, WHAT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR, FOR 3 YEARS WILL COME TRUE....I HATE TO SAY THINGS BEFORE THEY HAPPEN, BUT, I WANT TO BE OPTIMISTIC........ON THE PHONE JIMMY COULD BARELY GET THE WORDS OUT, HE WAS SO EXCITED............I AM VERY EXCITED....FUNNY THING IS, I HAVE BEEN ASKING GOD THESE PAST 2 DAYS TO PLEASE LET PAROLE CALL.....IN ONE WAY, I WAS KIND OF EXPECTING THAT CALL TO COME IN.

AND SO, I IMAGINE EVERYONE IS AT HOME BAKING THOSE HOLIDAY PIES, AND FOODS....SHOPPING, COOKING, AND PREPARATIONS ARE UNDER WAY.......PEOPLE ARE TRAVELING TO BE WITH THEIR FAMILIES..........I'M THINKING OF YOU ALL..........

IT'S COLD AND WINDY AND RAINY HERE IN JERSEY, AND THEY EVEN PREDICT SOME SNOW FLURRIES ON THANKSGIVING...............WELL, I'M HERE, IN THE HOUSE, WARM AS CAN BE, WITH THE ANIMALS............

I'LL LET YOU KNOW TOMORROW, WHAT HAPPENS WITH PAROLE...........IT IS THE 3RD HOLIDAY SEASON THAT JIMMY HAS BEEN AWAY IN PRISON, AND NOW IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE................FOR ME, EVERY HOLIDAY SEASON JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE, BECAUSE I KEEP LOSING INTEREST IN IT ALL....HOWEVER, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF ME, CAUSE I HAVE THE RADIO STATION ON THAT PLAYS CONTINUAL CHRISTMAS MUSIC..........ALMOST EVERY SONG, SAYS THINGS LIKE , "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU, " AND IF YOU CAN ONLY BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS."...........YES, IT IS SO TRUE..................

MAY EVERYONE HAVE A VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING!.....WHEREVER YOU MAY BE, OR WHOEVER YOU ARE, TRY TO ENJOY THANKSGIVING FOR WHAT IT IS...........FRIENDS AND FAMILY, LOVE AND MEMORIES, THANKFUL FOR ALL THAT WE HAVE IN THIS LIFE, EVEN IF IT MAY NOT BE MUCH...THANKFUL TO BE ABLE TO LOVE AND BE LOVED...............AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON....AND, DON'T EAT TOO MUCH TURKEY!.........WITH LOVE,  FRAN

JIMMY AND FRAN

I'M SO HAPPY THAT I'M GETTING THROUGH, AND ABLE TO SAVE MY ENTRIES....I WAS TRYING ALL WEEK, AND FINALLY TONIGHT, THINGS ARE OK........I HOPE IT WILL STAY THAT WAY.

ONE THING JIMMY TOLD ME 5 YEARS AGO, WHEN WE FIRST MET AND GOT MARRIED , WAS "FRAN, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A DULL MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE, " AND "YOU WILL HAVE A VERY FULFILLING SEX LIFE.".......WELL, BOTH THINGS HAVE PROVED TO BE TRUE!

THERE IS NEVER A DULL MOMENT WITH JIMMY, AND THINGS ARE FOREVER IN PROGRESS.  I AM HIS "CONSTANT," IN LIFE, AND THAT IS A GOOD THING........THAT IS, I AM LIKE HIS ANCHOR..........

THINGS HAVE CHANGED SINCE I WROTE HERE LAST...............FIRST, KINTOCK WILL NOT ALLOW RESIDENTS TO GO HOME FOR THANKSGIVING........SO THAT IS THAT.........SECONDLY, JIMMY GOT HIS MANAGER JOB BACK IN IGA FOODSTORE IN ATLANTIC CITY, AND STARTED WORKING THERE AGAIN THIS WEEK....AND SO, OF COURSE, HE HAS TO WORK ON THANKSGIVING........

JIMMY IS HAPPY TO BE BACK IN AC, AND I AM TOO........AFTER JIMMY WAS SO ABRUPTLY FIRED FROM HIS JOB AT IGA, A FEW MONTHS AGO, HE WAS REALLY NOT HAPPY WORKING IN THE DELI, IN THE STORE NEAR KINTOCK......I'M HIS WIFE, AND I KNOW MY HUSBAND VERY WELL.........JIMMY NEEDS A CHALLENGING JOB......HE IS A PEOPLE PERSON, AND LIKES MANAGERIAL WORK...FOR HIM, IT IS AN ENJOYMENT TO DO THAT SORT OF WORK, AND HE IS GOOD AT IT.........DELI WORK IS SIMPLY TOO BORING FOR HIM.............

WHEN JIMMY LEFT THE ATLANTIC CITY STORE, THE STORE WAS CLOSED BY THE BOARD OF HEALTH....IT BECAME DIRTY, ETC. AFTER JIMMY LEFT........JIMMY KEEPS THAT STORE IMMACULATE AND VERY ORGANIZED...........SO, WHEN THE OWNERS REALIZED THIS, THEY BEGGED JIMMY TO COME BACK..............JIMMY HAD TOLD ME, "FRAN IT WAS LIKE A CRAZY PERSON WAS RUNNING THIS STORE WHILE I WAS GONE.".................AND SO, JIMMY IS CLEANING UP THE MESS HE FOUND THERE..............HE ALSO WAS GIVEN A BIG PAY RAISE, AND WILL HAVE THE DAYS OFF HE NEEDS.......AND SO, THINGS ARE RUNNING SMOOTHLY NOW, ALTHOUGH HE COULDN'T COME HOME THIS WEEK-END.....JIMMY TALKS TO ME ON THE PHONE, WHEN HE GETS BACK TO KINTOCK AT NIGHT, AND TELLS ME ALL ABOUT HIS WORK............AND SO, I LISTEN, LIKE ANY GOOD WIFE SHOULD, ABOUT HIS WORK, AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY AND PROUD TO BE MARRIED TO SUCH A WONDERFUL MAN!....I ALSO GET TO LEARN JUST WHAT GOES ON IN FOOD STORES, BEHIND THE SCENES..........IT IS AMAZING!  WE NEVER THINK, THAT EVERYTIME WE GO FOOD SHOPPING, JUST WHAT A BIG ORGANIZED PRODUCTION A FOOD STORE IS!..........IT TAKES LOTS OF PEOPLE TO KEEP IT FUNCTIONING PROPERLY.............JIMMY TOLD ME THEY HAVE 3000 TURKEYS IN THE BACK, FOR SALE THIS WEEK.......ONE CUSTOMER ASKED HIM, "WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THIS COCONUT?"  HE ANSWERED, "$1.29."  SHE SAID, "FOR THE WHOLE THING?".....HE LAUGHED, "OF COURSE FOR THE WHOLE THING.....DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CUT IT IN HALF FOR YOU?"............JIMMY ALWAYS TELLS ME THESE LITTLE FUNNY STORIES THAT TAKE PLACE ON HIS JOB...........

WELL, I'LL GO NOW.....I THINK ABOUT JIMMY ALL DAY, EVERY MINUTE, AND I GET CHILLS THROUGH ME, JUST THINKING OF HIM............DESPITE THAT HE IS AT KINTOCK, THE HALF-WAY HOUSE, WE HAVE THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP, AND LOVE , AND MARRIAGE..........AND WE HOPE ALL OTHERS IN OUR WORLD CAN BE AS BLESSED AS WE ARE......................FRAN

BACK, ONCE AGAIN

HELLO!  AS MANY OF YOU MAY, OR MAY NOT KNOW, THERE HAS BEEN A MAJOR PROBLEM WITH AOL, IN J-LAND (AKA JOURNAL LAND), THIS PAST WEEK.  MANY OF US CAN NOT PUT AN ENTRY INTO OUR JOURNALS, AND SO, I'M TRYING AGAIN......BY READING OTHER PEOPLES JOURNALS, WHAT I CAN UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS PROBLEM IS THAT THERE IS A BIG DISRUPTION IN THE J-LAND COMMUNITY, AND A BIG PROTESTING GOING ON, BECAUSE AOL HAS PUT BANNERS ON THE TOP OF THE JOURNALS.......I DISCUSSED IT WITH MY HUSBAND, JIMMY, AND HE DEFINETLY AGREES THAT ADVERTISING ABOVE OUR JOURNALS, IN THINGS WE MAY NOT EVEN BELIEVE IN, IS AN INFRINGEMENT OF OUR RIGHTS.........AND SO, WE ARE BOTH SUPPORTIVE ABOUT WHAT IS NOW GOING ON IN J-LAND, AND WE HOPE THE PROBLEM WITH AOL WILL GET STRAIGHTENED OUT......MANY ARE CALLING AOL, TO PROTEST, AND WE WILL DO SO ON MONDAY...........AOL IS MOST LIKELY MONITORING OUR JOURNALS, AND KNOW WHAT WE ARE SAYING HERE, SO, IF YOU ARE LISTENING, PLEASE UNDERSTAND, THAT TREATING YOUR AOL MEMBERS IN AN UNFAIR AND UNJUST WAY, WILL CAUSE PEOPLE TO LEAVE AOL, AND GO ELSEWHERE, WHICH HAS ALREADY HAPPENED WITHIN THE PAST WEEK.................I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTINUE WRITING IN THIS JOURNAL, BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS IT A PART OF MY LIFE, IT IS HELPING PEOPLE NATION-WIDE, AND I EVEN HAVE READERS IN OTHER COUNTRIES..........MY MAIL-BOX IS FILLED EVERYDAY, AND COMMENTS ARE LEFT WHICH TESTIFY THAT THIS JOURNAL IS IMPORTANT TO OTHERS IN OUR SOCIETY....MANY PEOPLE ARE RELYING ON THIS JOURNAL TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER DAY...................I WILL TRY TO SUBMIT THIS ENTRY, AND HOPEFULLY, IF IT GOES THROUGH, I'LL KEEP YOU UP-TO - DATE ON JIMMY AND MYSELF, IN THE NEXT ENTRY........FRAN

LOST MY ENTRY

HI!...I JUST WROTE A LONG ENTRY ABOUT JIMMY'S FURLOUGH HOME, AND IT DID NOT GO THROUGH, AND I LOST IT.............SO, I'LL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW TO WRITE ANOTHER ENTRY........

I WAS DISCUSSING WITH  JIMMY ABOUT THE DEFINITION OF LOVE....I TOLD HIM ONE READER DEFINES LOVE  AS AN EMOTION.......I SAID  I HAD READ THAT LOVE IS A "NEED."  AND AT THAT MOMENT, JIMMY DEFINED LOVE AS "ACTION."....WITHOUT THE ACTS OF LOVE, AND ONLY WORDS OF LOVE, THERE IS NO LOVE.........THEREFORE, LET US THINK ABOUT IT........LOVE IS ACTION..............

GOOD-NITE.............FRAN

SOME THOUGHTS

MY SISTER CALLED ME TODAY, AND WE HAD A LONG CHAT, FOR AN HOUR.  SHE TOLD ME SOMETHING QUITE DISTRESSING, SO I MAY AS WELL SAY IT HERE, NOW, AND GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM.

I KNEW I WAS VERY SICK LAST YEAR, WITH SEPTIC SHOCK, BUT TODAY MY SISTER, TERRI, TOLD ME THAT THE DOCTOR'S ACTUALLY TOLD HER THAT I WAS "DYING, " AND THEY HAD LITTLE HOPE THAT I WOULD RECOVER.  THEY ASKED HER IF I HAD ALL MY LIFE 'IN ORDER," BECAUSE THEY DID NOT THINK I WOULD MAKE IT  (WHO really CARES ANYHOW, ONCE YOU'RE GOING AND GONE, IF THINGS ARE IN ORDER)...............

I ASKED HER IF THE DOCTOR'S ACTUALLY USED THE EXACT WORDS, "SEPTIC SHOCK," AND SHE SAID "YES."

I SAID, "WELL, WHY DIDN'T I GO TO ICU."  SHE ANSWERED, "BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO SICK...THE INFECTION HAD SPREAD SO SEVERLY THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE BODY, THAT THERE WAS NO HOPE FOR YOU....YOU WERE HIGHLY TOXIC, AND WERE NOT RESPONDING TO THE ANTIBIOTICS."

WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE, BECAUSE THERE WERE 8 OR 9 DOCTORS WALKING IN AND OUT OF MY ROOM, 24 HOURS A DAY...........NO ONE EVER LEFT ME ALONE...PEOPLE WERE CONSTANTLY WORKING ON ME.

SO TERRI SAID, "I TOLD THEM UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WERE THEY TO TELL YOU THAT YOU WERE DYING.  AND I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF TO NEVER TELL YOU, EXACTLY WHAT THE DOCRORS WERE SAYING."  ..........BUT TODAY, TERRI FELT I WAS WELL ENOUGH NOW, THAT I COULD MENTALLY HANDLE IT.  TERRI, ONCE AGAIN SAID TO ME, "YOU ARE A WALKING MIRACLE.".........NOT ONLY IS IT A MIRACLE THAT YOU SURVIVRD, BUT EVEN AFTERWARDS, IN YOUR RECOVERY PHASE, YOUR FOOT HAD A MIRACULOUS HEALING....EVEN THE SURGEON SAID THAT, AND USE DTHOSE WORDS.

SO, TODAY, ALL THIS CAME ABOUT, BECAUSE TERRI WAS ASKING ME TO PRAY FOR HER, FOR SOME SPECIAL INTENTION IN HER LIFE.  SHE SAID, YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW, IN THE WHOLE WORLD, WHOM GOD WILL LISTEN TO.......THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME SHE HAS TOLD ME THAT IN MY LIFE.............SHE ALWAYS JKES THAT I HAVE A "SPECIAL CONNECTION."..........WELL, TERRI WAS CRYING ON THE PHONE, AND TRYING TO HOLD BACK HER TEARS...AND IT WAS ALL VERY TOUCHING...........

WHEN I WAS THERE, IN THE HOSPITAL, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU EXACTLY WHAT I FELT...........I FELT LIKE I WAS CAUGHT BETWEEN THE DIMENSIONS OF TIME......LIKE I EXISTED SOMEWHERE ELSE...NOT HERE...........IT WAS TOO DIFFICULT TO TALK OR EVEN THINK.  I DID NOT AT THAT POINT EVEN HAVE THE STRENGTH TO SAY THE NAME "GOD."....I KNEW I WAS DYING, AND THOUGHT TO MYSELF, HOW STRANGE THIS SITUATION IS............I WAS AFRAID TO SAY, "PLEASE, GOD, LET ME SEE MY HUSBAND ONE MORE TIME," BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GIVE ME WHAT I SAID, AND I WANT TO BE WITH JIMMY FOR AN ETERNITY, NOT ONE MORE TIME..............IT WAS LIKE A BLACK, EVIL VEIL WAS TRYING TO TAKE OVER MY BODY. AND I KNEW I WOULDN'T GO...SO, I JUST LAY IN BED AND WAITED...I WAITED FOR THAT EVIL THING TO GO AWAY..............AND I KEPT THE PHONE NEXT TO ME, SO I COULD RECEIVE JIMMY'S CALLS EVERY HOUR, AS HE WOULD WHISPER TO ME, THAT I WAS TO KEEP HANGING ON............AND THEN, THE MEN IN THE PRISON WERE PRAYING FOR ME, ALONG WITH JIMMY, FORMING PRAYER CHAINS..........I FELT THE PRAYERS ALL THE TIME..............MY SISTER AND AUNT HAD MY NAME MENTIONED AT MASS, AND HAD SPECIAL MASSES AND NOVENAS MADE...............

AND STILL WITH ALL THAT, I REFUSED TO STAY IN BED.......I DRAGGED MYSELF AND THE IV POLE TO THE BATHROOM...I SAT IN THE CHAIR...EVEN AT NIGHT THE NURSES WOULD COME AND ASK ME WHY I WAS SITTING UP ALL NIGHT...........BECAUSE, I KNEW I HAD TO KEEP MOVING, AND I WAS NOT GOING TO DIE IN THAT BED.........SO EVERYONE WATCHED ME, AND LOOKED AT ME, AS I SAT UP, COVERING MY BODY AND HEAD WITH A BLANKET....AND I ALWAYS WISHED JIMMY WERE THERE...HE WAS THE ONLY STRONG MAN THAT COULD POSITION ME, AND MAKE ME COMFORTABLE...I KNEW HE WOULD LIFT ME, AND MAKE ME COMFORTABLE..........

AND THEN, 1 NIGHT, AROUND 2 WEEKS LATER, I FINALLY BROKE INTO A SWEAT AROUND 3 AM...YES, I WAS SO HAPPY, BECAUSE I KEW THE FEVER HAD FINALLY BROKE...I STARTED RESPONDING TO THE INTENSE ANTIBIOTIC THERAPY, AND NOW, I KNEW I HAD A CHANCE.........

30% OF PEOPLE IN SEPTIC SHOCK SURVIVE...........THE POPE DIED FROM THIS, AND IRONICALLY SUPERMAN, CHRIS REEVES DIED FROM IT THE SAME TIME I WAS HOSPITALIZED...........

WHEN I GOT HOME HERE, I WAS NEVER SO HAPPY....I KNEW I WOULD BE HEALED IN MY OWN BED, AT HOME, WITH MY ANIMALS AT MY SIDE...........AND YES, IT IS TRUE, I FELT LIKE I HAD WALKED IN THE VALLEY OD DEATH....THAT IS HOW I PERCEIVED THAT HOSPITAL BED.....FOR ME, IT WAS THE VALLEY OF DEATH........................

AND SO, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING, ONCE AGAIN, TO MY BAD EXPERIENCE LAST YEAR..........I'M SORRY IF I REPEAT MYSELF.......................BUT BY TELLING YOU AGAIN, AS IT IS ON MY MIND TODAY, I CAN NOW RELEASE IT, AND BLOW IT TO THE WIND...............THAT IS WHERE IT BELONGS.............

JIMMY IS COMING HOME IN 12 HOURS....YES, JUST CAN'T WAIT....I FEEL SO EXCITED WHEN HE IS ABOUT TO COME HOME.............I EVEN MADE SOME CHICKEN AND CHOCOLATE PUDDING FOR HIM  (WE HAVE THE READY-WHIP, TOO)...............

PLEASE READ THE COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY........THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS WITH US....(azil2cute4u)..............HOWEVER, I MUST DISAGREE THAT LOVE IS NOT AN EMOTION.....................IT IS A KNOWN , DOCUMENTED FACT, THAT LOVE IS A "NEED," JUST LIKE AIR, FOOD, AND WATER.  WITHOUT LOVE WE WOULD DIE..WE ALL NEED TO BE LOVED, YES, EVEN THE PRISONER...LOVE, TOUCH...THOSE ARE NEEDED TO SURVIVE THIS LIFE.

HI

HI!....STOPPING BY AGAIN!!!!!!!!

JERSEY IS COLD..................BRRRRRRRR...

WELL, I GUESS THE TOMATO PLANTS ON THE BACK PORCH FINALLY DIED.........PRETTY GOOD.  THEY ALMOST MADE IT TILL THANKSGIVING!

IT'S NICE AND WARM IN THE HOUSE, THOUGH.  JIMBO AND MISTY ARE SLEEPING ON THE COMFORTER ON THE BED, AND PRINCE SLEEPS UNDER THE BED, WHERE HIS DADDY USUALLY SLEEPS....ALL IS CALM AND WELL.

THE NEWS IS THAT JIMMY WILL HOPEFULLY BE ABLE TO COME HOME ON THANKSGIVING!.........WELL, I ALWAYS SAY "HOPEFULLY," CAUSE I'M NEVER SURE!...THIS WILL BE HIS FIRST THANKSGIVING AT HOME SINCE 2002.  LAST YEAR A FRIEND DROVE ME THERE, TO KINTOCK, SO WE DID SPEND IT TOGETHER......THAT TRIP IS 2 HOURS GOING, AND 2 COMING BACK, AND THE FRIEND ALWAYS GETS LOST AND GOES AROUND IN CIRCLES, AND IT MAKES ME SO NERVOUS....KINTOCK IS IN A PLACE IN JERSEY THAT IS ALL WOODS, AND TREES, AND I HAVEN'T THE CLUE WHERE I AM WHEN I'M THERE...........THE WORST IS THAT THE FRIEND REFUSES TO PUT ON THE RADIO...SO FOR 2 HOURS, I SIT AND LISTEN TO ALL HIS PROBLEMS, AND IT MAKES ME NERVOUS...IT'S HARD FOR ME TO RIDE IN A CAR WITH NO MUSIC........SO I TOOK MY WALKMAN ONCE, AND HE DIDN'T SEEM HAPPY ABOUT THAT....SO I LISTEN TO HIM TALK...LIKE A THERAPIST!

AND SO THIS YEAR I WILL NOT GO THROUGH THAT........LAST YEAR, I WAS THERE FOR THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS, AND GOT PHYSICALLY SICK WHEN I GOT HOME.........OH YEA!...SICK TO MY STOMACH.........HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH KINTOCK....KINTOCK IS A NICE ,M NEW, CLEAN PLACE, AND EVERYONE IS VERY CURTEOUS THERE..........I DON'T KNOW...JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN IT..........I GUESS I COULD NOT TAKE SEEING MY HUSBAND IN AN INSTITUTION.....

SO, THINGS ARE HAPPIER NOW!

DAY AFTER TOMORROW JIMMY WILL BE HOME!

TOMORROW WILL BE BUSY , AS I CLEAN THE HOUSE...

I DID A LOT OF CONSTRUCTIVE WORK ON THE COMPUTER YESTERDAY AND TODAY..............I WAS WRITING SOMETHING....IT IS AROUND 20 PAGES..........IT TOOK ME 4 HOURS YESTERDAY, AND 2 HOURS TODAY......I FEEL GREAT ONCE I ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING..........IT MAKES ME FEEL I STILL HAVE SOME BRAINS LEFT!

WELL, HAVE A REAL GOOD NITE!.............FRAN

HELLO!

JUST STOPPING BY, TO SAY A QUICK "HELLO!"......

...WAITING FOR JIMMY TO COME HOME ON SUNDAY!

...WE'RE GETTING BACK INTO A 'ROUTINE," NOW, WITH HIM COMING HOME EVERY SUNDAY AND MONDAY....IT'S BETTER THAT WAY...LIFE FEELS MORE ORGANIZED...MORE "REAL.".....IT'S JUST LIKE HAVING A HUSBAND WHO WORKS AWAY FROM HOME, AND THEN COMES HOME ON THE WEEK-END.....

JIMMY AND I GREW UP IN A TIME WHEN IT WAS QUITE POPULAR TO HAVE  A LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE, AKA "A BI=COASTAL MARRIAGE," WHEN THEY LIVED ON BOTH SIDES OF THE CONTINENT, AND THEN CAME TOGETHER ON THE WEEKENDS....WELL, WE DECIDED WE DIDN'T LIKE THAT WAY OF LIFE, WHEN JIMMY CAME TO VEGAS WITH A RETURN PLANE TIX TO JERSEY, BUT HE JUST COULD NOT LEAVE ME, SO HE STAYED IN VEGAS........

ANSWERING 'DIZARRA'S" COMMENT...THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU SAID....JIMMY IS NOW IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE, SO HE IIS ALLOWED TO COME HOME....HOWEVER, GO TO THE BEGINNING OF THIS JOURNAL TO SEE JUST HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME WHEN HE WAS IN BAYSIDE STATE PRISON....I WISH THERE WAS A BIG BUS TO TAKE ME THERE, AT THE TIME....NO ONE WOULD TAKE ME...SO I DROVE, WITHOUT BARELY EYESIGHT, FOR THE 1 1'2 HOUR TRIP, AT THE BREAK OF DAWN........IF I WAS YOUNGER, AND PHYSICALLY ABLE, I WOULD TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, OR WHATEVER IT TOOK TO SEE JIMMY...I WOULD TAKE BUSES, TAXI'S, AIR PLANES...WHATEVER...JUST TO BE WITH JIMMY...BUT WITH MY EYESIGHT, I JUST COULDN'T DO IT...SO WE STAYED CONNECTED BY PHONE, AND I PAID THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS /MONTH, TO KEEP CONNECTED WITH MY HUSBAND.................HOWEVER, I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN STANDING ON THAT LINE  , GETTING INTO THE PRISON, WITH MASSIVES LINES OF WOMEN AND FAMILY , WHO TRAVELED MANY HOURS, AT UNGODLY TIMES OF THE DAY............

YES, CAN'T FORGET IT, ALTHOUGH I AM CHEERFUL NOW.....

BEEN THERE....DONE THAT....

WILL NEVER FORGET THAT EXPERIENCE...

WILL NEVER FORGET THE STORIES I HEARD FROM THE WOMAN ON THAT PRISON LINE....

THE STORIES I HEARD FROM THOSE WHO LOVED THEIR MAN........

IT WAS, AND STILL IS INCREDIBLE, BECAUSE I T GOES ON, IN EVERY STATE IN OUR COUNTRY...........

I WILL NEVER FORGET THE MANY PRISON WIVES AND FAMILIES OUT THERE, WHO ARE TRUELY DEDICATED TO THEIR MAN.........THE FACES ARE A BLUR...THE STORIES ARE THE SAME...........

WITH LOVE...........I CARE FOR YOU, MY "PRISON WIVES"

.........................................FRAN

JIMMY CAME HOME

JIMMY CAME HOME FOR ANOTHER FURLOUGH ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON, AND LEFT MONDAY AT 5:00 pm....IT WAS JUST GREAT!

ACTUALLY, IT WAS THE MOST "PERFECT DAY!"....SUN SHINING, COOL AND CRISP, THE LEAVES TURNING ORANGE AND GOLD...THE WORLD COULD NOT BE A MORE PERFECT PLACE FOR ME!...IT WAS SUNDAY, A QUIET DAY, ALL WAS AT PEACE WITH THE WORLD..........ONCE AGAIN, WE WENT TO ST. MAXIMILLIAN KOLBE CHURCH, AND WE STOPPED IN THE OUTSIDE GROTTO OF THE "BLESSED VIRGIN," TO SAY A PRAYER ...THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SPOTS!...........THERE IS A CHRISTMAS DINNER/DANCE IN DECEMBER, WHICH WE HOPE TO GO TO, IF IT IS APPROVED.

IT IS LIKE A BURDEN OF WEIGHT REMOVED FROM MY SHOULDERS, THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 32 MONTHS, WE CAN MAKE SOME SORT OF PLANS TO GO OUT SOMEWHERE, AND TO GO INTO SOCIETY........BELIEVE ME, I HAVE BEEN WORSE AT HOME, MORE LOCKED UP, THAN ANY CRIMINAL....SUDDENLY, I HAVE STARTED FEELING "RELEASED," FROM STAYING WITHIN MY OWN WORLD HERE AT HOME....YOU MUST REALIZE THAT MY EYESIGHT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT....I CAN'T SEE WELL ENOUGH TO REALLY GO ANYWHERE, AND IF BY CHANCE, I WAS ABLE TO GET THERE, I WOULDN'T REALLY BE HAPPY, BECAUSE I COULDN'T SEE MUCH AROUND ME ANYHOW....AND SO, I'VE LIVED WITHIN MY OWN LITTLE PRISON, THESE YEARS.............NOW, WITH MY HUSBAND BACK HOME WITH ME, I FEEL SAFE, AND I SEE THROUGH HIS EYES.....

JIMMY COOKED THE DINNER ON SUNDAY....ANGEL HAIR PASTA WITH MEAT SAUCE...EVERYTHING WAS SO DELICIOUS....LATER WE HAD COLD CUTS, AND PRINCE ATE LIVERWURST....

ON MONDAY, JIMMY TOOK ME TO THE RETINA SPECIALIST...THE EYE DOCTOR........IT SEEMED ALL SO NORMAL....WE SAT IN THE WAITING ROOM, AND WE WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO DIDN'T MIND SITTING THERE, WAITING FOR THE DOCTOR....JIMMY HELD MY HAND,   AND WRAPPED HIS ARM AROUND ME....EXACTLY WHERE I LIKE TO SIT...UNDER HIS ARM!...WE TALKED AND LAUGHED A LITTLE WITH EACH OTHER..

JIMMY ASKED THE DOCTOR IF I NEEDED SURGERY, BECAUSE I NOT ONLY HAVE DIABETIC RETINOPATHY, BUT ALSO GLAUCOMA, AND CATARACTS, AND THE MACULA WAS AFFECTED IN THE RIGHT EYE....THE DOCTOR SAID "NO."...THE ONLY SURGERY WOULD BE MORE LASER SURGERY, WHICH WOULD BE ON AN EMERGENCY BASIS IF MY EYES START HEMORRHAGING AGAIN....EVEN MORE LASER SURGERY WILL NOT MAKE THE EYES BETTER, BUT WILLHOPEFULLY PREVENT FURTHER DAMAGE....

IT'S KIND OF EMBARESSING, BECAUSE I CANNOT SEE THE BIG "E" ON THE CHART , WITH MY RIGHT EYE....AND I FEEL JIMMY FIDGET, AS HE SITS NEAR ME, WHEN I SAY THAT....

BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS..........AND IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE GREATNESS OF THE MAN I MARRIED, FOR HIM HAVING A WIFE THAT SEES VERY LITTLE...WELL, IT IS ALMOST A CHALLENGE TO HIM..........AND HE STILL ENCOURAGES ME TO DO SO MANY THINGS....

 ON A HAPPIER NOTE, MY LEFT EYE IS MIRACOUSLY A LITTLE BETTER....EVEN THE DOCTOR IS PERPLEXED, AS TO WHY THAT EYE GETS BETTER...HE THINKS IT IS BECAUSE I READ SO MUCH...AND I JUST REFUSE TO STOP READING....SO, THEREFORE, READING AND USING THE BETTER EYE, IS STRENGTHONG IT, NOT MAKING IT WORSE, AS SOME MAY THINK...WELL, MAYBE, THEN THERE IS SOME GOODNESS WITH JIMMY IN PRISON...THAT I AM FORCED TO BE INDEPENDENT, EVEN BEING LEGALLY BLIND........EVEN THE BLIND SOCIETY, WHOM I SPEAK WITH ON THE PHONE, JUST DOESN'T KNOW HOW I DO IT ALONE....

AND SO, THINGS ARE SLOWY FALLING INTO PLACE........JIMMY AND I WILL BE MARRIED FOR 5 YEARS THIS COMING APRIL, TWO OF WHICH WE LIVED TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE......THE REST , SEPERATED BY PRISON.........

NOW, WE ARE WAITING FOR NEXT SUNDAY, WHEN HE WILL RETURN HOME ONCE AGAIN........

WE LIVE FOR THE MOMENT..........

WE HAVE BOTH BEEN BLESSED TO GO THROUGH THIS UNUSUAL TIME IN OUR LIFE.......

WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT SOMETHING THAT MOST PEOPLE NEVER EXPERIENCE........

LIFE IS VERY STRANGE...........

I HOPE YOU CAN LEARN FROM MY JOURNAL...........

......................FRAN

 

 

ALL IS WELL!

HI EVERYONE!

WELL ALL IS WELL, AND THERE HAVE BEEN NO FURTHER INCIDENTS...PRINCE HAS BEEN A GOOD WATCH DOG, AND CONTINUES TO PROTECT ME.  THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR WORRY AND CONCERN....IN ANSWER TO A QUESTION, THE SECURITY WAS HERE IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES, AND THE POLICE ARRIVED SOON AFTER........

JIMMY IS COMING HOME TOMORROW, AND I'M SO EXCITED....HE WILL ARRIVE AT 1PM, AND STAY UNTIL MONDAY, 5 PM.....I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE WITH HIM....GREAT NEWS IS THAT IN 1 OR 2 WEEKS, HIS FURLOUGH TIME HOME WILL BE INCREASED...HE WILL BE ALLOWED TO STAY HOME FOR 2 NIGHTS!....WE JUST CAN'T WAIT!

AND NOW, I HAVE EVEN GREATER NEWS TO TELL EVERYONE!...............YESTERDAY, ON FRIDAY, THE PAROLE PSYCHOLIGIST WENT TO KINTOCK, AND MET WITH JIMMY FOR AN INTERVIEW.........THIS IS STANDARD PROCEDURE, AND HE WILL SUBMIT THE FORMS TO "PAROLE," ON MONDAY............SO, IF I AM CORRECT, IT SEEMS LIKE JIMMY IS WELL ON HIS WAY HOME..........I GUESS IT WILL BE SOON, BUT I NEVER COUNT ON ANYTHING, UNTIL IT HAPPENS.............THE PAROLE PSYCHOLOGIST MEETS WITH THE KINTOCK RESIDENT, AND THEN SOON AFTER, A PAROLE  DATE WILL BE GIVEN.   THIS IS ALL KIND OF "DREAM-LIKE, " AND I WILL NOT BELIEVE IT UNTIL I ACTUALLY SEE IT!  THE PSYCHOLOGIST FELT THAT JIMMY SHOULD HAVE BEEN RELEASED A LONG TIME AGO, AS JIMMY HAS BEEN AT KINTOCK FOR 1 YEAR, 1 MONTH...BUT I GUESS THEY WANTED TO MAKE SURE JIMMY HAD HIS JOB, AND WAS DOING GOOD WITH HIS WEEKEND FURLOUGHS HOME........WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, WE hAVE A WONDERFUL MARRIAGE, AND LOVE EACH OTHER GREATLY, AND ARE VERY DEVOTED NOT ONLY TO EACH OTHER, BUT TO OUR MARRIAGE AND "FAMILY UNIT."

LISTEN TO WHAT HAPPENED TODAY, AT KINTOCK!  THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING HAPPENING!....THERE WAS AN "AMMONIA LEAK," IN A NEAR -BY FACILITY IN THE AREA ...ALL ROADS WERE CLOSED OFF, AND EVERYONE HAD TO STAY INSIDE..........IT TOOK PLACE THE WHOLE DAY, AND THERE WERE AMBULANCES AND FIRE TRUCKS OUTSIDE.....THAT MEANT JIMMY COULD NOT GO TO WORK....ALSO, THE TERRIBLE THING WAS, THERE WERE RESIDENTS WHO COULD NOT GO OUT ON THEIR PASSES TO SEE THEIR WIVES...........NOW, IF THIS HAPPENED TOMORROW, ON SUNDAY, JIMMY ONCE AGIAN WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO COME HOME.........

WELL, HOPE ALL GOES WELL, AND HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!..............................fran

Today's Update

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK-YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS, THAT WERE ENCOURAGING TO ME.......

WELL, SURE ENOUGH, SOMETHING HAPPENED AGAIN TODAY, AND BY NOW I AM QUITE PARANOID........I HAVE EVERY LIGHT ON IN AND OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, AND I WALK AROUND WITH MY PHONE AND CELL PHONE IN MY HANDS.................I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY HUSBAND TO COME HOME, AS I DON'T LIKE LIVING ALONE, AND I AM DOCUMENTING IT HERE.....

WELL, TONIGHT, AT 6;30 PM, SOMEONE CAME TO THE BACK OF THE HOUSE, AND KNOCKED TWICE ON THE WINDOW.....THE DOORBELL IS THERE, SO I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYONE WOULD KNOCK ON THE WINDOW.....AND TO REACH THE WINDOW, THEY WOULD HAVE TO LEAN OVER A TABLE I HAVE THERE.....AFTER THE FIRST TIME, I PUT THE PORCH LIGHT ON..........AFTER THE SECOND KNOCK, WHICH CAME AFTER ABOUT 1 MINUTE, PRINCE HEARD IT, IN THE BEDROOM, AND RAN TO THE FRONT DOOR...VISCIOSLY BARKING, SO I KNOW SOMEONE WAS OUT THERE...........I GRABBED THE PHONE AND CALLED SECURITY...THEY WERE HERE IN MINUTES........THEY HAD GOTTEN OTHER CALLS FOR THE SAME THING.......SECURITY CALLED THE POLICE.........AND THE POLICEMAN CAME TO THE DOOR TO TALK TO ME......I HAD TO LOCK PRINCE IN THE BATHROOM.......I ALSO TOLD THEM ABOUT THE PHONE WIRES BEING CUT............

I JUST DON'T KNOW........MAYBE SOMEONE IS PLAYING TRICKS ON ME............

I LIVE IN AN ADULT COMMUNITY, SO I CAN'T PUT UP SPECIAL SENSORS OR LIGHTS...BUT THAT IS WHY I CALL THE SECURITY, SO THEY CAN KEEP RCORDED EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS........MAYBE THEY WILL EVENTUALLY PUT UP CAMERAS, IF THE WIRES AND CABLES ARE CUT TOO MANY TIMES......

WELL, JIMMY WILL CALL SOON, SO GOOD-NITE...........FRAN

HELLO, IT'S ME!

HELLO. I'M BACK AGAIN!

I'M ALWAYS HAVING SOME SORT OF COMPUTER PROBLEMS, SO THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T SEE ME SOMETIMES.....JIMMY IS THE EXPERT ABOUT COMPUTERS...I JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE 2 COMPUTERS WE HAVE HERE....

THE STRANGEST THING HAPPENED THIS PAST SUNDAY....JIMMY CAME HOME FOR ABOUT 4 HOURS, BUT HAD TO GO RIGHT BACK TO KINTOCK.  ODDLY ENOUGH, WHEN JIMMY ARRIVED HERE, ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON, AND HE WENT STRAIGHT TO THE PHONE TO CALL KINTOCK, TO NOTIFY THEM, AS PROCEDURE, THAT HE ARRIVED HOME, THE PHONES WERE ALL DEAD, INCLUDING THE COMPUTER.  SOMEONE CUT THE PHONE LINES TO OUR HOUSE....JIMMY WENT TO THE NEIGHBORS, AND EVERYONE STILL HAD THEIR SERVICE ON....JIMMY HAD CALLED ME AT 11:30 AM THAT DAY, TO MAKE SURE I WAS UP AND GETTING READY FOR HIM TO ARRIVE.  HE CALLED AGAIN AT 12:15 PM, AND WAS UNABLE TO GET THROUGH TO ME....SO, THEREFORE, SOMEONE CUT THOSE PHONE LINES BETWEEN 11:30 am, and 12:15 pm SUNDAY.  IT WAS QUIET OUTSIDE THAT DAY...I DIDN'T SEE ANYONE....THERE WAS A LANDSCAPING TRUCK, BUT I THINK HE ARRIVED AFTER JIMMY GOT HOME............

JIMMY TRID TO COMFORT ME BY SAYING MAYBE IT WAS A RABBIT THAT PULLED THE WIRE OUT...OR MAYBE THE LANDSCAPER ACCIDENTALLY CUT THE WIRE..........BUT TODAY, I WENT OUTSIDE MYSELF, TO LOOK AT THAT CABLE, AND IT IS A VERY LATGE CABLE, THAT CANNOT ACCIDENTally be pulled out...some one had to cut it, and they had to have the right instrument to do it...A SCISSORS WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THE TRICK..........I AM SO UPSET ABOUT THIS...........WE LIVE IN A GATED COMMUNITY, AND ACROSS FROM MY HOUSE IS A CONSTRUCTION SITE, FOR NEW HOMES....THE PLACE IS FILLED WITH TRUCKS OF ALL SIZES, AND MEN COMING AND GOING, AND WITH MY EYESIGHT IT IS DIFFICU;T FOR ME TO SEE ANYTHING.......

JIMMY TOLD ME TODAY IT IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE FOR SOMEONE TO CUT THE PHONE LINES...I HOPE WHO CUT IT KNOWS IT, BECAUSE I THINK THE PHONE COMPANY IS KEEPING AN EYE ON IT....THEY HAVE CALLED ME SEVERAL TIMES TO MAKE SURE THE PHONE LINES ARE OK.....THE PHONE MAN WHO CAME HERE ON MONDAY TOLD ME SOMEONE CUT THE WIRE, OR PULLED IT OUT O F THE WALL

AND SO, OF COURSE, THE MOST UPSETTING PART IS ALL THIS HAPPENED THE MINUTE JIMMY CAME HOME.  HE USED MY CELL PHONE TO CALL KINTOCK, BUT THEY WANT THE HOUSE PHONE...YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND, WITHOUT THE HOUSEPHONE ON, THEY CANNOT KEEP TRACK OF THE CRIMINAL...CELL PHONES ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH...AND SO, JIMMY HAD TO CALL KINTOCK EVERY 15 MINUTES, AND BY 5 PM, THEY SAID TO COME BACK...SO JIMMY MADE THE 5 HOUR TRIP BACK....I HAVE BEEN SO PHYSICALLY UPSET BY THESE OCCURANCES, THAT IT IS ONLY TODAY, WEDNESDAY, THAT I HAVE BEGUN TO FEEL A LITTLE OK...NOT ONLY AM I UPSET THAT JIMMY WENT BACK, BUT I HAVE BECOME PARANOID THAT SOMEONE IS OUT THERE, AFTER ME, CUTTING THE PHONE LINES........AROUND 2 MONTHS AGO, THE TV CABLE LINES TO MY HOUSE WERE CUT...YES CUT....WHEN THE CABLE MEN CAME HERE, THEY WERE FURIOUS THAT NEW CABLE LINES HAD TO BE PUT IN..AGAIN NO ONE NEW WHO CUT THEM...........

WELL, I AM A WOMAN ALONE, AND I HATE, JUST HATE LIVING ALONE.........AT NIGHT, I KEEP ALL THE LIGHTS ON IN THE HOUSE........BEDROOM, LIVING ROOM, FRONT AND BACK PORCH............I AM ONLY LIVING ALONE, BEAUSE I LOVE MY HUSBAND..............AND HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH HIM........

WELL, I'M LUCKY I HAVE A BIG DOG THAT GUARDS ME.......ONE CONSTRUCTION WORKER TODAY, SAW ME SITTING OUTSIDE WITH PRINCE...HE SAID, " CUTE DOG."   I SAID, "BETTER NOT TALK TO HIM."  HE SAID "WHY?"  AT THAT POINT, PRINCE STARTED BARKING FEROUSIOSLY...HE WILL EVEN START SALIVATING IF HE REALLY DOESN'T LIKE THE PERSON...AND HE LOOKS AT ME FOR INSTRUCTIONS...........AND SO, THE CONSTRUCTION WORKER, SAID IT WAS GOOD I HAD A DOG LIKE THAT...............

I WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW HORRIBLE SUNDAY WAS FOR US.............WE GOBBLED SOME FOOD...JIMMY WAS ON THE CELL PHONE WITH THE PHONE COMPANY ALL THE TIME, AND WITH KINTOCK, TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE SITUATION..............JIMMY HAD ALL THE FURNITURE AND FRIDGE MOVED, AS THE PHONE COMPANY SAID TO DISCONNECT THE PHONES, MAYBE IT WOULD RE SET ITSELF.....EVERYTHING WAS TENSE...........THE PHONE COMPANY HAD NO EMERGENCY TRUCKS TO SEND............SO, AT 6PM, OR SO, JIMMY TOOK THE TAXI, TO THE BUS DEPOT...HE WENT AWAY IN THE NIGHT, AND I HAD PUT HIS HALLOWEEN MASK, THAT GLOWS, IN HIS BAG............

PRINCE NEVER GOT HIS WALKS.......MISTY AND JIMBO WERE NOT HELD AND PLAYED WITH.  AND ON A LIGHTER NOTE, THE NATIONAL AVERAGE FOR A MAN TO BE FULFILLED IS 7 MINUTES...WELL, THAT IS CUTTING IT CLOSE, BECAUSE HE WAS MAKING 15 MINUTE CALLS...NO TIME FOR ENJOYMENT AND RELAXATION.

THE TRUTH IS, I'M A VERY DISCIPLINED PERSON...AND SO IS JIMMY.  IN THIS SITUATION WE HAD NO CONTROL....AS IT IS, WE HAVE NO CONTROL OF OUR LIVES SINCE HE HAS BEEN IN PRISON...IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING FOR ME.......I TRIED VERY HARD TO HAVE EVERYTHING VERY PERFECT FOR HIM HERE, ........AND THEN THE PHONE LINE WAS CUT BY SOMEONE...THE UNIMAGINABLE HAPPENED......

AFTER JIMMY LEFT I KEPT STUFFING MY FACE WITH FOOD....I ATE MYSELF THROUGHT THIS WHOLE HOUSE, AND THEN GOT SICK FROM IT...............FINALLY, TODAY, I STARTED TO GET BACK ON MY NORMAL ROUTINE AND SCHEDULE...............IS IT ANY WONDER WHEN I WRITE HERE, THAT I DON'T LIKE HOLIDAYS.........

WELL, JIMMY IS HIS ORGANIZED SELF....BETWEEN THE TEARS, ALL I SAID TO HIM IS, "THIS IS NOT THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN."

AND SO, WE HOPE HE WILL COME HOME NEXT SUNDAY AND MONDAY.............TIME MOVES ON............I FEEL STUCK IN A VERY PECULIAR PLACE IN LIFE...........BUT I WOULDN'T GIVE IN, OR GIVE UP.................FRAN