IGA FOODSTORE....JIMMY GETS HIS JOB BACK

WELL, IT HAPPENED EVERYONE!....WITH YOUR STRONG PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS FOR US, JIMMY GOT HIS JOB BACK AT 4PM TODAY........UNBELIEVABLE!........JIMMY CALLED ME AT AROUND 4:15, AND TOLD ME MR. P CALLED HIM, AND KINTOCK, AND ASKED JIMMY TO COME BACK TO HIS JOB. THEY SPOKE ON THE PHONE, AND EVERYTHING IS OK.  THE CASE WILL NOT GO TO ARBITRATION..................

JIMMY WILL START BACK ON HIS JOB ON TUESDAY (I believe he said tuesday)....AND THE BEST PART IS THAT HE WILL NOT WORK IN THE ATLANTIC CITY STORE, WHICH IS A 5 HOUR BUS TRIP FOR HIM EVERYDAY, BUT HE WILL WORK NEAR TO KINTOCK, WHICH IS ONLY A FEW MINUTES AWAY...WHICH I FEEL IS MUCH BETTER, AT THIS TIME.

JIMMY CALLED ME AGAIN A FEW MINUTES AGO, AND HE IS FILLING OUT THE PAPER-WORK, AND WILL SUBMIT IT TOMORROW, SO HE CAN HAVE A FURLOUGH HOME THIS WEEK-END...........I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE IT, AS I THOUGHT IN MY HEART THAT I WOULD NOT SEE JIMMY FOR QUITE A LONG TIME......JUST TO BE IN HIS ARMS...THAT'S ALL I WANT.......

IT IS STRANGE, BECAUSE LAST NIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO BED, I WAS THINKING VERY INTENSELY ABOUT MR. P.   I WAS SENDING HIM GOOD THOUGHTS AND WISHES, AND HOPING HE LEADS A HEALTHY AND HAPPY LIFE.........I ALWAYS BELIEVE IN THINKING GOOD THOUGHTS ABOUT PEOPLE, AND NEVER BAD THOUGHTS...NEVER WISH PEOPLE HARM OR TROUBLE IN THEIR LIFE....DO NOT EVER DO THAT, BECAUSE IT WILL ALWAYS COME BACK TO YOU......AND SO, IN MY HEART I FORGAVE MR. P....AND THOUGHT ABOUT HIM FOR A LONG TIME...........I ALSO ASKED FOREGIVENESS FOR JIMMY AND I, FOR WHATEVER WE DID WRONG TO DESERVE ALL THIS DISRUPTION IN JIMMY'S JOB..........AND I REALIZE THAT PEOPLE IN TOP MANAGEMENT JOBS ARE VERY HIGHLY STRESSED.

I WAS REALLY PLANNING TODAY TO SHARE WITH YOU THE LOVE LETTER THAT JIMMY SENT ME YESTERDAY.  I ASKED JIMMY IF IT WAS OK FOR ME TO PRINT IT HERE....HE SAID IT'S OK TO WRITE IT IN YOUR JOURNAL...MAYBE SOME OTHER MEN WILL BE INSPIRED TO WRITE A LOVE LETTER TO THE WOMEN THEY LOVE.....SO, HERE GOES......

DEAR LOVELY WIFE,

IT HAS BEEN OVER 6 MONTHS SINCE I HAVE PUT PAPER TO PEN, TO WRITE YOU, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE CALLED YOU AT LEAST 6 TIMES A DAY...AND HAVE SLEPT WITH YOU ALMOST A HALF-DOZEN TIMES, DURING THESE 6 MONTHS......YOU DESERVESO MUCH, AND I NEED TO PROFESS MY LOVE FOR YOU....IF I COULD CARVE IT IN STONE....WRITE IT IN THE SKY....SHOUT IT FROM THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN, I WOULD IN TRUTH....I WILL DO SUCH THINGS BEFORE MY TIME ON EARTH IS OVER.

I LOVE YOU, FRANCES P. R----, WITH ALL MY HEART, MIND, SOUL, BODY.................

   YOUR JIMMY  XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

KEEPING BUSY

HI EVERYONE!...WELL I'M STILL HERE AT HOME, TRYING TO KEEP BUSY...DOING NOTHING, THAT IS.  I'M TRYING, ONCE AGAIN, TO STAY FOCUSED.  I'M TRYING NOT TO CONCETNTRATE ON THE CALENDER, OR THE CLOCK, FOR THAT MATTER.  I TRY MY BEST TO FOLLOW A ROUTINE IN LIFE, SO THAT NOT HAVING JIMMY AT HOME DOES NOT SEEM SO BAD.  IF I LIVE FOR MY HOUSEHOLD, MY HUSBAND AND MY PETS, I'M OK.  IF I KEEP EVERYTHING IN ORDER HERE, IT SEEMS OK TO BE GOING THROUGH THIS "PRISON THING."...IN THESE 2 1/2 YEARS OF JIMMY'S INCARCERATION, YOU CAN SAY I LIVE A VERY SIMPLISTIC LIFE....ONCE A PERSON WHO WENT OUT HERE AND THERE, I HAVE SIMPLE PLEASURES IN LIFE, LIKE SITTING OUTSIDE WITH PRINCE, AND GAZING AT THE SKY AND CLOUDS.......TODAY THE CLOUDS WERE BEAUTIFUL, AS DUSK APPROACHED......ORNGE COLORED CLOUDS....THAT IS WHAT I MISS MOST ABOUT LAS VEGAS......THE ORANGE SKIES, ESPECIALLY AT DAWN, AND DUSK.

JIMMY IS STILL AT KINTOCK.......HE NOW HELPS OUT IN THE KITCHEN, AND HE CAUGHT UP ON HIS READING, AND HIS WRITING LETTERS.........HE HAS STARTED WRITING ME LOVE LETTERS ONCE AGAIN........AND TODAY I RECEIVED 4 HALLOWEEN CARDS....................HE IS LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB, BUT THIS JOB WITH IGA, IS NOW IN ARBITRATION......THAT MEANS THAT HE WILL HAVE SOMETHING LIKE A TRIAL. IN A FEW WEEKS, WITH A UNION LAWYER PRESENT..........JIMMY IS VERY GOOD AT THAT SORT OF STUFF.......I MEAN, MY HUSBAND WILL ALWAYS DEFEND HIMSELF, ME, AND ANYBODY ELSE THAT HE BELIEVES HAS BEEN DONE WRONG......IT IS A NATURAL INSTINCT WITH JIMMY..  IRONICALLY, EVEN THOUGH JIMMY BROKE THE LAW, AND IS NOW IN PRISON, HE ACTUALLY BELIEVES IN MAINTAINING THE LAW, AND GOING STRICTLY BY THE RULES.......

ON SUNDAY, JIMMY CALLED ME 9 TIMES FROM KINTOCK....FINALLY I TOLD HIM I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING MORE TO SAY......SOMETIMES I GET LIKE THAT......I JUST CAN'T TALK OR THINK ANYMORE......JIMMY ALWAYS KEEPS GOING........JIMMY IS ALWAYS THINKING.......AND SO, I GUESS WE BALANCE EACH OTHER........

I USUALLY SEND JIMMY THE COMMENTS THAT ARE POSTED TO THIS JOURNAL.  WELL, HE RECEIVED THE COMMENT FROM "LILYF33," AND HE WAS NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT.........LILY LEFT HER COMMENT, ON 9/16/05.........BOTH IN THIS JOIRNAL, AND IN MY OTHER JOURNAL, " WIVES OF PRISONER'S , AND OTHER LOVED ONES."    JIMMY ASKED ME TO WRITE HIS RESPONSE TO LILY, AND I SURE HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS.  "I WAS NOT FRAMED, AND NEVER CLAIMED TO BE FRAMED. I COMMITTED A CRIME, AND I'M GUILTY OF THE CRIME, AND I ADMITTED WHAT I DID AND I AM NOW PAYING FOR IT, AS I HAVE BEEN WITHIN THE PENAL SYSTEM FOR THE PAST 2 1/2 YEARS.  I AM NOW IN A HALF-WAY HOUSE, AND PEOPLE IN HALF-WAY HOUSES ARE TARGETS FOR PEOPLE...YOU ARE BEING SCRUTINIZED AND WATCHED AT ALL TIMES..........YOU MUST BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DO AND SAY AT ALL TIMES, BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING JUDGED.  I DID SOMETHING WRONG TWICE SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE, IN THE PAST YEAR.  THAT IS MINIMAL, AS MOST RESIDENTS GET IN TROUBLE ALMOST EVERYDAY."

GOOD NITE, EVERYONE............IT WAS 1 YEAR AGO TODAY, THAT JIMMY LEFT TALBOT HALL, REHAB, AND WENT TO KINTOCK.......AT THE SAME TIME, OF HIS BEING TRANSPORTED IN A VAN, I WAS BROUGHT TO SURGERY FOR THE AMPUTATION OF MY TOE.........JIMMY REMINDED ME SEVERAL TIMES THIS PAST WEEK ABOUT HOW SICK I WAS LAST YEAR.  I FINALLY ASKED HIM NOT TO MENTION IT ANYMORE, SINCE THIS IS A NEW YEAR, AND TIME HAS PROGRESSED ON, AND I FEEL OK TODAY......FRAN

IGA FOODSTORE.ATLANTIC CITY

JIMMY WAS SUPPOSSED TO COME HOME TODAY...BUT NOW HIS FURLOUGHS HOME ARE SUSPENDED UNTIL HE GETS ANOTHER JOB, OR CLEARS THINGS UP AT THIS ONE.......ALL I CAN SAY, IN 3 SIMPLE WORDS, ABOUT THE   "GENERAL MANAGER," IS THIS........."HE IS MEAN."

YES, THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP...THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO SAY IT.

HE WAITED UNTIL MY HUSBAND WAS ON FURLOUGHS HOME, TO DO THIS TO HIM...........TRUTHFULLY, ALL ALONG, I WAS TELLING JIMMY THAT I THINK THIS "GENERAL MANAGER," WA ALMOST JEALOUS OF ME....YES, ME HIS WIFE.........THAT I SHOULD BE PREFERENCE TO JIMMY ABOVE HIS JOB..........THIS GENERAL MANAGER....I WILL CALL HIM "MISTER P,"  WOULD NOT ALLOW JIMMY 2 DAYS OFF IN A ROW, SO HE COULD COME HOME FOR 2 DAYS..........HE HARDLY EVER  GAVE JIMMY HIS ONE DAY OFF/WEEK...JIMMY'S DAY OFF WAS ALWAYS A BIG ISSUE FOR HIM........BEFORE HIS FURLUGHS STARTED, HE WOULD CALL JIMMY FROM KINTOCK, TO COME IN ON HIS DAY OFF............HE WOULD CRY ON THE PHONE TO HIM, THAT JIMMY WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD CLOSE THE STORE AT NIGHT........HE CONTINUALLY SAID THAT NO ONE ELSE CLOSES THE STORE LIKE YOU...........

THROUGHOUT JIMMY'S EMPLOYMENT, HE FOUND CUSTOMERS AND THOSE WORKING STEALING FROM THE STORE..........ONE EMPLOYEE WAS STEALING ROASTED CHICKENS FROM THE DELI, ONE DAY......I SAIS TO JIMMY, "CAN'T YOU JUST LET IT GO?  MAYBE HE'S HUNGRY, AND I CAN'T SEE A PERSON GOING HUNGRY.'.....JIMMY'S REPLY WAS, "NO FRAN, I CAN'T LET HIM GO. HE IS NOT STEALING ONE CHICKEN, BUT SOMETHING LIKE 10 OR SO CHICKENS.  IF I LET EVERYONE GO, WHO ARE STEALING, THE STORE WILL SUFFER A BIG LOSS, AND PLUS THE FACT THAT IT IS WRONG TO STEAL."

MY SISTER STOPPED IN TO IGA FOODSTORE, A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO, WHEN SHE WAS IN ATLANTIC CITY, AS SHE OFTEN GOES THERE..........SHE TOLD ME THE STORE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL.......IT WAS CLEAN AND HAD A SHINING GLOW TO IT......EVERYTHING WAS NEAT AND ORDERLY....SHE WAS REALLY IMPRESSED BY IT, AND WILL STOP BY THERE AGAIN, AS SHE LIKED THE PRODUCTS THEY SELL......JIMMY ALWAYS KEPT THAT STORE CLEAN AND ORDERLY SINCE HE GOT THERE, AND WAS PRAISED MANY TIMES BY "MR. P" ABOUT IT........THAT JIMMY CHANGED THAT STORE FOR THE BETTER SINCE HE WORKED THERE..............AND SO, I STILL HAVE ONE WORD FOR MR. P.........ONE WORD THAT IS SIMPLE..........."HE IS A MEAN INDIVIDUAL.".........THERE IS NO DEFENSE FOR A MAN WHO IS SIMPLY CALLED "MEAN.".........ANY PERSON HATES TO BE CALLED "MEAN."...............AND EVEN THE STRONGEST PERSON FEELS IT IN HIS GUT WHEN HE IS IN BED SLEEPING AT NIHJT, TO KNOW WITHIN HIS HEART THAT HE IS KNOWN AS A "MEAN" PERSON.............."MEAN" IS OK, IF IT IS FOR  A JUST CAUSE , LIKE DISCIPLING A PERSON WHO IS AT FAULT, BUT JIMMY DID NOTHING WRONG....MY HUSBAND HAS A STRONG PERSONALITY, AND THAT IS THE WAY IT IS.

AND SO, I AM HERE.......I GOT UP AT 4 PM....I MADE THE COFFE, FED THE ANIMALS, AND TOOK IN THE NEWSPAPER.....IN A LITTLE WHILE I'LL GO OUTSIDE WITH PRINCE..............I DID ALL THE USUAL MUNDANE THINGS, A PERSON DOES THAT LIVES ALONE...........JIMMY HAS BEEN CALLING ME EVERY 2 HOURS TODAY........I TALK TO HIM, FROM THE BED, ON MY SPEAKER PHONE.........

I KIND OF GOT USED TO JIMMY COMING HOME ON THE FURLOUGHS.........IT WAS ALMOST LIKE A DREAM.......LIKE A DATE.........AFTER 2 1/2 YEARS, IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE I HAD A HUSBAND , AGAIN..........

BEING A WOMAN WITH A MAN IN PRISON, IS A PLACE DIFFICULT FOR MOST PEOPLE IN OUR WORLD TO FULLY UNDERSTAND.......BECAUSE, YOU BELONG NO WHERE.........YOU LIVE WITHIN THE CRACKS OF SOCIETY...............BETTER TO BE SINGLE, OR A DIVORCEE.........THEN YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE TO START.........YOU CAN TALK TO PEOPLE, AND BECOME PART OF THEIR LIFE..............WITH YOUR HUSBAND IN PRISON, YOU BELONG NO WHERE, AND FEEL TERRIBLY LOST WITHIN YOURSELF, AT ALL TIMES........

AND SO, MR. P., I'M HAPPY YOU GOT JUST WHAT YOU WANTED.  MY QUESTION IS, "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"........I DOUBT IT, BECAUSE AS I UNDERSTAND IT, YOU ARE A VERY UNHAPPY PERSON, ANYHOW.

MY ANSWER TO 'MINDERCELLA33," WHO LEFT A BEAUTIFUL COMMENT IN THE LAST ENTRY.........THANK YOU O MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR STORY.  YOU UNDERSTAND, AS YOUR OWN HUSBAND WAS ONCE IN PRISON.........YOU SAID THE RIGHT WORDS OF UNDERSTANDING THE SITUATION OF A PRISONER'S WIFE.  THAT IS    "YOU ARE IN PRISON JUST AS MUCH AS HE IS."...........................YOU ARE RIGHT.  THAT IS JUST WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, AND FEW UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT, UNLESS THEY HAVE BEEN THERE THEMSELVES.......IT IS NOT ONLY YOUR HUSBAND'S PHYSICAL PRESENCE AT HOME....IT IS THAT LIFE ITSELF, TAKES ON ANOTHER DIMENSION......AND AT THIS TIME, AS THE SEASONS CHANGE, AND WE ARE INTO AUTUMN, AND THE HOLIDAYS ARE AT OUR HEELS.......I JUST DON'T THINK I CAN KEEP GOING ON FOR THE 3RD HOLIDAY SEASON.....AND THEN GO INTO THE 4TH YEAR.............WELL, YOU ASKED HOW MUCH LONGER DOES JIMMY HAVE...........HIS PAROLE IS DEPENDENT ON HIS JOB.........AND MR. P KNOWS THIS............IS IT ANY WONDER I CALL HIM  "MEAN?"

HALF-WAY HOUSES

SOMEHOW, I AM VERY MUCH ATTACHED TO THIS JOURNAL...IT IS PART OF ME........EVEN IF I SAY TO MYSELF,  "I WON'T WRITE ANYTHING,"  I STILL FIND MYSELF HERE, AT THE COMPUTER, EXPRESSING MYSELF........YOU SEE, IT MAKES ME HAPPY , THAT PERHAPS I AM HELPING OTHERS......OTHER WOMEN AND PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE SAME SITUATION AS I AM........WOMAN, AND OTHERS, WHO WAIT FOR THEIR MAN............WIVES WHO ARE STUCK IN A SITUATION IN WHICH THEY CAN NOT MOVE OUT OF.....OR, TO RE-PHRASE THAT, " THEY ARE PART OF THIS THING CALLED "PRISON."

AND SO IF YOU ARE OUT THERE READING THIS, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, BECAUSE I AM THERE , TOO.

PLEASE WRITE TO ME, AND LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL...I KNOW YOU FEEL HELPLESS, AS I DO.  I KNOW YOU PASS TIME, AS I DO...I KNOW YOU THINK HOW UNFAIR THIS ALL IS.........AND IT IS..BUT SEE, AGAIN, WE ARE HELPLESS, AND NEED ONLY TO DRAW ON THE STRENGTH OF EACH OTHER.......

THAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNAL....TO HELP OTHERS, WHO ARE DISTRESSED.

AS YOU CAN SEE, I WAS HAPPY A FEW WEEKS AGO, WHEN JIMMY WAS COMING HOME........BUT NOW, ALL THAT HAS CHANGED, AND I AM ONCE AGAIN IN THE SAME PLACE I WAS..........YES, I WENT UP THE SLOPE, BUT NOW I HAVE SLID DOWN THE SLOPE, ONLY TO HOPE I CAN CLIMB UP IT AGAIN...........AND I KNOW THAT IS HOW IT IS WITH SO MANY OF YOU...........PROBABLY MILLIONS OF WOMMEN AND FAMILY MEMBERS OUT THERE.........YES, IT IS VERY SAD.  AND I KNOW IN YOUR THOUGHTS IS THAT THE HOLIDAYS ARE RAPIDLY APPROACHING, AND YOUR LIFE IS IN A PLACE CALLED LIMBO........NO-WHERE, NOTHING..........YES, A THIRD YEAR ALONE....A THIRD FALL, LEADING INTO WINTER...........

SO MUCH SADNESS IN THE WORLD, AND WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS..........

DID YOU WATCH "CRIMINAL MINDS," ON TV LAST NIGHT.......I LIKED IT.........CRIMINALS ARE LIKE PUZZLES, AND EACH PIECE MUST BE EXAMINED AND FIT IN.

THE ASBURY PARK PRESS RAN A STORY TODAY, (by the associated press), TITLED, "MURDER SUSPECT ONE OF MANY HALF-WAY HOUSE FUGITIVES."  I'D LIKE TO QUOTE THE ARTICLE:  "MORE THAN 100 CRIMINALS HAVE WALKED AWAY FROM HALF-WAY HOUSES IN NEW JERSEY, INCLUDING 23 VIOLENT OFFENDERS."..........."THERE ARE 2,494 INMATES IN HALFWAY HOUSES,  110 ARE ON THE LAM,"  AUTHORITIES SAID.    (FOR THE ACTUAL ARTICLE, PLEASE LOG ON TO ASBURY PARK PRESS).

WELL, I'LL GO OUTSIDE NOW, AND CONNECT WITH NATURE......HOPE YOU ALL WRITE TO ME...........I NEED YOUR SUPPORT NOW.............JIMMY HAD HIS MEETING THIS MORNING, WITH THE UNION, AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS NOT GOING BACK TO HIS JOB............AND SO, NOW, WE ARE AT "SQUARE ONE AGAIN."...........HE CAN NO LONGER COME HOME, UNLESS HE IS WORKING...........AND THAT IS THE STORY, ON THIS FINE AUTUMN DAY. 

............FRAN...ALWAYS A PRISONER'S WIFE

RESTING AT KINTOCK

JIMMY IS RESTING UP AT KINTOCK, SINCE HE CAN'T WORK AT IGA, UNTIL THINGS ARE SETTLED WITH THE UNION.  SO, MY HUSBAND SAID HE SLEPT A TOTAL OF 10 HOURS YESTERDAY, CATCHING UP ON HIS SLEEP.  AFTER ALL, HE HAS BEEN WORKING AT IGA  FOR 6 R 7 MONTHS NOW, AND HE BARELY GETS A FEW HOURS OF SLEEP EACH DAY.  AFTER HIS 5 HOUR BUS TRIP TO AND FROM ATLANTIC CITY, EVERYDAY, AND WORKING 8-10 HOURS PER DAY, THAT LEAVES HIM AROUND 9 HOURS EACH DAY, IN WHICH HE MUST SLEEP, EAT, WASH HIS CLOTHES, BATHE, AND DO WHATEVER HE HAS TO...THAT IS NOT MUCH TIME.  SO, NOW, HE IS TAKING A LITTLE REST.  TODAY HE CAUGHT UP ON READING THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, WHICH HE HAS DELIVERED TO HIM AT KINTOCK, AND HE FINISHED READING HARRY POTTER'S LATEST BOOK...HE SAYS HE LIKES IT, AND THAT THE AUTHOR'S WRITING HAS IMPROVED. HE ALSO WROTE ME 4 LETTERS, AND IS SENDING ME CLIPPINGS FROM THE NEWSPAPER.  JIMMY ALSO IS HELPING OUT IN THE KITCHEN, FOR EACH MEAL, FOR ABOUT 1 HOUR.....YESTERDAY HE WAS CUTTING THE TOMATOES FOR LUNCH. 

...AND SO THAT'S IT....NOTHING MUCH HAPPENING.  AS FOR ME, I WENT OUTSIDE AND WALKED AROUND THE CIRCLE WE LIVE ON....I LOOKED AT THE BEAUTIFUL TREES...THE SQUIRRELS DASHING ABOUT....THE BIRDS...AND THE BEAUTIFUL WARM SUN, AND BLUE SKY.......THAT'S IT...JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PRISONER'S WIFE.

I SAT OUTSIDE WITH PRINCE, OUR DOG.  I WATERED THE PLANTS ...AND OF COURSE THOUGHT ABOUT JIMMY, THE MAN I LOVE SO MUCH.  I WOULD GIVE UP ALL THE WORLD, JUST TO BE IN HIS LOVING ARMS...........

I MISS HIS PRESENCE AGAIN NOW, AS I WAS GETTING USED TO HIM COMING HOME..........

AND SO, HE CALLED ME SO MANY TIMES TODAY....WE SPEAK ABOUT SO MANY THINGS..........

NOW, I HAVE A NEW IDEA FOR A STORY, THAT I WILL START WRITING TONIGHT..........JIMMY INSPIRED ME WHILE TALKING ON THE PHONE TODAY.

AND SO, LIFE GOES ON...THE WHEELS OF LIFE TURN....AUTOMATICALLY.....EVER SO SLOW FOR ME, AS I WAIT AT HOME FOR THE MAN I LOVE.............SUMMER NOW IS TURNING INTO AUTUMN............YES, A THIRD AUTUMN ALONE..............AND SO. THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE.

  ...FRAN

RESTING AT KINTOCK

JIMMY IS RESTING UP AT KINTOCK, SINCE HE CAN'T WORK AT IGA, UNTIL THINGS ARE SETTLED WITH THE UNION.  SO, MY HUSBAND SAID HE SLEPT A TOTAL OF 10 HOURS YESTERDAY, CATCHING UP ON HIS SLEEP.  AFTER ALL, HE HAS BEEN WORKING AT IGA  FOR 6 R 7 MONTHS NOW, AND HE BARELY GETS A FEW HOURS OF SLEEP EACH DAY.  AFTER HIS 5 HOUR BUS TRIP TO AND FROM ATLANTIC CITY, EVERYDAY, AND WORKING 8-10 HOURS PER DAY, THAT LEAVES HIM AROUND 9 HOURS EACH DAY, IN WHICH HE MUST SLEEP, EAT, WASH HIS CLOTHES, BATHE, AND DO WHATEVER HE HAS TO...THAT IS NOT MUCH TIME.  SO, NOW, HE IS TAKING A LITTLE REST.  TODAY HE CAUGHT UP ON READING THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, WHICH HE HAS DELIVERED TO HIM AT KINTOCK, AND HE FINISHED READING HARRY POTTER'S LATEST BOOK...HE SAYS HE LIKES IT, AND THAT THE AUTHOR'S WRITING HAS IMPROVED. HE ALSO WROTE ME 4 LETTERS, AND IS SENDING ME CLIPPINGS FROM THE NEWSPAPER.  JIMMY ALSO IS HELPING OUT IN THE KITCHEN, FOR EACH MEAL, FOR ABOUT 1 HOUR.....YESTERDAY HE WAS CUTTING THE TOMATOES FOR LUNCH. 

...AND SO THAT'S IT....NOTHING MUCH HAPPENING.  AS FOR ME, I WENT OUTSIDE AND WALKED AROUND THE CIRCLE WE LIVE ON....I LOOKED AT THE BEAUTIFUL TREES...THE SQUIRRELS DASHING ABOUT....THE BIRDS...AND THE BEAUTIFUL WARM SUN, AND BLUE SKY.......THAT'S IT...JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PRISONER'S WIFE.

I SAT OUTSIDE WITH PRINCE, OUR DOG.  I WATERED THE PLANTS ...AND OF COURSE THOUGHT ABOUT JIMMY, THE MAN I LOVE SO MUCH.  I WOULD GIVE UP ALL THE WORLD, JUST TO BE IN HIS LOVING ARMS...........

I MISS HIS PRESENCE AGAIN NOW, AS I WAS GETTING USED TO HIM COMING HOME..........

AND SO, HE CALLED ME SO MANY TIMES TODAY....WE SPEAK ABOUT SO MANY THINGS..........

NOW, I HAVE A NEW IDEA FOR A STORY, THAT I WILL START WRITING TONIGHT..........JIMMY INSPIRED ME WHILE TALKING ON THE PHONE TODAY.

AND SO, LIFE GOES ON...THE WHEELS OF LIFE TURN....AUTOMATICALLY.....EVER SO SLOW FOR ME, AS I WAIT AT HOME FOR THE MAN I LOVE.............SUMMER NOW IS TURNING INTO AUTUMN............YES, A THIRD AUTUMN ALONE..............AND SO. THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE.

  ...FRAN

hello

DEAR SUGAR......THANKS FOR ALWAYS READING MY JOURNAL, THROUGH THE MONTHS AND YEARS, AND BEING SO FAITHFUL TO ME, AND UPLIFTING...IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE , WITH YOUR POSITIVE THOUGHTS!...I OFTEN THINK ABOUT YOU, IN TEXAS, WITH YOUR HORSES, THAT YOU LOVE SO MUCH....WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, AND YOUR FAMILY...AND THE PRETTY PICTURES OF YOURSELF, AND YOUR LIFE.........YOUR COLLEGE DAYS, YOUR PRIVATE SCHOOLING, AND THE FACT THAT YOU ARE STUDYING TO BE A DOCTOR, AND MAJOR IN PSYCHOLOGY...........YOU ARE AN ASSET TO THIS JOURNAL, AND CERTAINLY HAVE HELPED ME ALONG THE WAY.....WHY?  BECAUSE YOU CARE, THAT'S WHY.DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE IS AT LEAST A 30 YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US, THERE IS NO GAP...AND THAT IS WHAT MAKES YOU A FINE PERSON, WHO HELPS THE WORLD.

TIANA...I HOPE YOU KEEP READING, AND GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THIS JOURNAL, WHERE IT ALL STARTED....THANX FOR YOUR COMMENT.

LILLYF33.............THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REading my jouirnal.  sorry your boyfrind is in prison for BEING A THIEF.  I AM GLAD I INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE THE COMMENTS YOU WROTE , ESPECIALLY IN MY OTHER JOURNAL  "WIVES OF PRISONERS AND OTHER LOVED ONES."..........YES, YOU SURE DID A GOOD JOB OF "TRYING" TO PUT ME DOWN.  I AM GLAD I GOT SOME OF THAT ANGER OUT OF YOU........AT LEAST I WAS HELPFUL IN THAT WAY.  MY QUESTION IS, WHY DO YOU STAY WITH A MAN WHO IS IN PRISON, THAT YOU SEEM TO BE SO ANGRY AT...WHY DO YOU STAY WITH A MAN WHO IS A THIEF, WHOM YOU FEEL WILL NOT RE-HABILITATE.........I AM JIMMY'S WIFE FOREVER, ...I LOVE HIM, AND TRUST IN HIM....DO YOU LOVE YOUR BOYFRIEND?  TRY TO MAKE THIS PRISON EXPERIENCE A POSITIVE ONE, DESPITE THE UGLINESS OF PRISON....I KNOW YOU NEED TO LASH OUT OUT ME...IT'S OK, DO IT......I'M LIKE A SPRING-BOARD, AND WILL NEVER ABSORB YOUR NEGATIVIRIES...BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD...GO AHEAD, SAY IT.

DEAR LOVEROBIN32..........I WAS SO VERY HAPPY ABOUT YOUR COMMENt!.............YES, YOU AGREED WITH ME THAT THERE ARE COMMONALITIES OF A MILITARY WIFE, AND A WIFE WHOSE HUSBAND IS IN PRISON....SEVERAL WEEKS AGO, I WAS PUT DOWN BY SOME READERS FOR SAYING THAT..........I AM GLAD YOU FOUND THE TRUTH IN THAT STATEMENT!.....THERE ARE NO 2 WAYS ABOUT IT, WE ARE ALONE WITHOUT THE HUSBAND WE LOVE WHEN HE IS GONE, DESPITE WAR OR PRISON...HE ISAWAY...IN A PLACE HE CANNOT LEAVE...THAT IS ALL I AM SAYING, AND I AM SO GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND............LOVEROBIN LEFT HER COMMENT IN A PREVIOUS ENTRY.

  WELL, JIMMY WILL NOT COME HOME UNTIL THIS ISSUE WITH THE UNION IS SETTLED...SO IT LOOKS LIKE IT WILL GO ON A FEW WEEKS, I GUESS...............

  I PREFER NOW, TO "GO WITHIN."  I watched a movie on "on-DEMAND,"...twice, AND WILL WATCH IT AGAIN AND AGAIN.  THAT CHARACTER IS ME...THE ME THAT NOBODY KNOWS  (EXCEPT MY HUSBAND)..........and JIMMY IS IN MANY WAYS THE MALE CHARACTER.........THE MOVIE IS "BEFORE SUNSET."..........JIMMY SAID HE READ THE WRITE-UP IN THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, AND IT WAS A VERY GOOD ONE.  THE MOVIE IS ALL DIALOGUE...YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LISTEN ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT...IT IS SORT OF A PHILISOPHICAL TYPE OF THOUGHT...THE MOVIE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.......BUT IT IS FOR ME...BECAUSE I AM THAT PERSON.......THE MOVIE IS THE SECOND, WITH "BEFORE SUNRISE," BEING THE FIRST........IT IS A REFRESHING TYPE OF MOVIE, WITH DEEP THOUGHT AND MEANING...TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED LIFE..........IT TAKES PLACE IN PARIS......THE COUPLE WALK THROUGH  PARIS, CONVERSING...THEY STOP IN AN OUTDOOR CAFE.....A PARK........THE BOAT THAT GOES AROUND PARIS  (I'VE BEEN ON THAT BOAT, BY THE WAY!).  THESE 2 MET 10 YEARS AGO, (THAT WAS THE FIRST MOVIE),  AND HAD A ROMANTIC 1 NIGHT INTERLUDE.  THEY PLANNED TO MEET IN 6 MONTHS IN VIENNA......HE WENT , SHE DIDIN'T,  DUE TO HER GRANDMA'S FUNERAL THAT EXACT  DAY.  THEY WERE IN LOVE, BUT NEVER EXCHANGED PHONE NUMBERS....HE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT THIS , AND WAS NOW AN INTERNATIONAL FAMOUS AUTHOR WITH THIS BOOK........SHE MET HIM AT HIS BOOK-SIGNING 10 YEARS LATER).......AND THAT IS HOW THE MOVIE STARTED...I JUST LOVE IT.....I THINK I'LL WATCH IT AGAIN.....THEN, I CAN UNDERSTAND THIS STRANGE WORLD WE LIVE IN.............AND I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE, THAT THERE ARE OTHERS THAT FEEL THE SAME WAY I DO......AND THAT IS WHAT MAKES JIMMY LOVE ME......MY THOUGHTS ABOUT LIFE....................SUGAR, I THINK YOU WILL LIKE THIS MOVIE..............

I JOTTED DOWN SOME DIALOGUE FROM THE MOVIE, AND WOULD LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU......

"Memory IS WONDERFUL, IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THE PAST.''

"PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS BASICALLY THE SAME, EVEN IF THEIR LIFE SITUATION CHANGES."  ...

'AS A CHILD, I WAS ALWAYS LATE FOR SCHOOL."  ONE DAY, MY MOTHER FOLLOWED ME TO SCHOOL.  SHE SAW ME LOOKING AT THE CHESTNUTS FALLING FROM THE TREES....OR EACH LEAF FALLING FROM THE TREES.  ......EACH PERSON HAS SPECIFIC QUALITIES....I SEE LITTLE DETAILS IN PEOPLE.......PEOPLE ARE IRREPLACABLE BECAUSE THEY ARE MADE UP OF SMALL DETAILS."

"IF YOU WERE TO DIE TONIGHT, WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?"..................." I WOULD CHECK INTO A HOTEL WITH YOU...I WOULD STILL TALK ABOUT THE UNIVERSE, AND MAGIC, IN BETWEEN SESSIONS OF F---ING,  UNTIL WE DIE."

" I LOVE YOU," HE SAYS LAUGHING, "EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE BECOME A MANIC-DEPRESSIVE ACTIVIST."

..."I KEEP EVERYTHING WRITTEN IN JOURNALS. FROM MANY YEARS AGO."  

.............I LOVE PARIS, AND HAVE BEEN THERE TWICE.....IT IS THE CITY OF LIGHTS...AND ROMANCE.............I KNOW IN MY HEART, I WILL RETURN THERE AGAIN, ONE DAY!..YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE WORLD!

THAT'S ABOUT IT!.........HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A NICE DAY, AND ENJOY LIFE, AND YOUR LOVED ONES............FRAN

 

the latest...

HERE I GO, KEEPING YOU ALL UP- TO- DATE ON WHAT'S GOING ON.

WELL, JIMMY IS NOT HOME TODAY, WEDNESDAY, AS HE USUALLY IS, BECAUSE HIS "BOSS' AT THE FOOD-STORE CHANGED HIS DAY OFF TO FRIDAY FOR THIS WEEK.  HE CHANGED THE DAY OFF, EARLIER THIS WEEK...HIS REASONING IS THAT JIMMY IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CLOSE THE STORE PROPERLY AT NITE...HE HAS TROUBLE REPLACING JIMMY ON HIS DAY OFF..........................WELL, THE STORY IS , THAT JIMMY IS NOT AT WORK TODAY  (UNLESS THINGS CHANGE AS I WRITE THIS).

WHAT HAPPENED IS THIS.......JIMMY WENT TO WORK YESTERDAY, AND WAS SENT HOME BY HIS "BOSS.'  WHEN HE GOT THERE, HE WAS TOLD TO LEAVE  ON THE GROUNDS OF 'INSUBORDINATION."  JIMMY LEFT THE STORE....JIMMY TOOK THE 2 1/2 HOUR BUS TRIP BACK TO KINTOCK, BUT NOT BEFORE CALLING HIS UNION REPRESENTATIVE.  FUNNY THING IS, THAT MANAGERS USUALLY DON'T JOIN UNIONS......USUALLY MANAGERS CAN TALK THINGS OUT, INTELLECTUALLY, ON AN ADULT LEVEL.  HOWEVER, THIS BOSS INSISTED THAT JIMMY JOIN THE UNION WHEN HE FIRST GOT HIS JOB........I THINK THAT, IN ITSELF, IS TELLING YOU SOMETHING....HE IS A BOSS WHO WANTS EVERYONE TO JOIN THE UNION, INCLUDING HIS OWN MANAGERS.....HE CAN'T HANDLE THINGS FROM AN UPPER MANAGEMENT PERSPECTIVE, IT SEEMS.

AND SO JIMMY WENT BACK TO KINTOCK....HE RODE THE BUS UNNECESSARILY FOR 5 HOURS YESTERDAY.......AND TODAY HE IS AT KINTOCK, GETTING THIS SITUATION STRAIGHTENED OUT.......

AND SO, JIMMY GOT TO GO BACK AND REST AT KINTOCK....HE EVEN GOT TO READ 200 PAGES OF THE LATEST HARRY POTTER BOOK I BOUGHT HIM..........HE WAS HAPPY ABOUT THAT!

THIS IS JUST ANOTHER EPISODE OF WHAT GOES ON IN THE WORKING WORLD............BEEN THERE, DONE THAT....SEEN IT ALL (JUST ABOUT)...........WORKED 28 YEARS IN HOSPITALS.............DEALT WITH PEOPLE, PERSONALITIES.......IT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS..........

FUNNY THING IS, THIS MAN SAYS HE CAN'T RUN THAT STORE WITHOUT JIMMY...........HE KEEPS SAYING JIMMY IS IRREPLACABLE............

I JUST DON'T GET IT.

OK....GOT TO GO , NOW...............FRAN

KINTOCK...WRITTEN UP FOR LAYING IN HIS OWN BED

GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE!

A VERY STRANGE THING HAPPENED TO MY HUSBAND AT KINTOCK TODAY.  HE GOT BACK FROM WORK AT AROUND 2 OR 3 AM....SLEPT, AND THEN GOT UP EARLY AND TOOK HIS SHOWER....HE LAID BACK DOWN ON HIS BED, WITH HIS CLOTHES ON, UNDER THE COVERS....AND TOOK A LITTLE NAP, BEFORE HE LEFT AT 11 AM FOR WORK.....WELL, HE FINDS A SLIP OF PAPER THAT HE WAS WRITTEN UP BECAUSE HE LEFT SOMETHING ON HIS BED.  NOW CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!....HE WAS ON HIS BED...NOTHING ELSE, AND WAS TAKING A NAP, BEFORE LEAVING FOR WORK.  NOW, THIS IS KIND OF SILLY.  JIMMY WAS TOLD TO "IGNORE IT, ".....TO FORGET ABOUT IT.".............BUT HE SAID TO THE PERSON WORKING THERE,  'I CAN'T JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.  IF I GET WRITTEN UP TWICE, I WILL LOSE MY FURLOUGH HOME FOR 1 WEEK."  THIS WILL ALSO GO ON HIS RECORD, AND I DON'T FEEL THAT IS A GOOD THING, ALSO.  NOW, THIS SAME INDIVIDUAL WHO WROTE JIMMY UP TODAY, WELL, LAST WEEK, JIMMY WAS LATE FOR WORK 40 MINUTES, AFTER HIS FURLOUGH HOME.....IN OTHER WORDS, WHEN JIMMY RETURNED FROM HIS FURLOUGH HOME, THIS INDIVIDUAL DRIVES THE VAN TO THE BUS STOP, AND WAS 40 MINUTES LATE IN DOING SO.  AND SO, JIMMY'S BOSS AT THE FOODSTORE WAS ANGRY BECAUSE HE WAS LATE FOR WORK, AND IT WAS NOT JIMMY'S FAULT.  JIMMY HAS A RESPONSIBLE JOB...IF HE IS LATE FOR WORK, THE OTHER PEOPLE WORKING CAN'T LEAVE THE STORE....EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING RELIES ON EACH OTHER.......JIMMY HAS TO BE IN THAT STORE TO COVER PEOPLE WHO DON'T SHOW UP FOR WORK, PEOPLE WHO CALL IN SICK, OR GET SICK ON THE JOB.......THOSE CASH REGISTERS HAVE TO BE COVERED....IF THEY ARE NOT, HE HIMSELF COVERS THE DIFFERENT DEPTS., FOR EXAMPLE, HE COVERS THE DELI COUNTER FOR BREAKS..........AND OF COURSE, THERE ARE A  MILLION OTHER THINGS THAT JIMMY HANDLES....CUSTOMERS...CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS....MAKING SURE THE SHELVES ARE STOCKED, ETC......I AM AMAZED AT HOW MY HUSBAND DOES IT ALL!.........HE IS A VERY CONSCIENCIOUS WORKER.....I KNOW HOW MY HUSBAND IS..........HE HAS  A VERY STRONG WORK ETHIC THAT IS BORN WITHIN HIM............IT WAS THE SAME WHEN I WORKED AS AN RN IN THE HOSPITAL....ONE HAD TO BE ON TIME, AND VERY CONSCIENSIOUS OF YOUR JOB...AFTER ALL, YOUR JOB AFFECTS EVERYONE WORKING....IT IS LIKE A CHAIN REACTION........OF COURSE, IT IS DIFFERENT IF THE BUS BREAKS DOWN, OR IF THERE IS EXTRA TRAFFIC...BUT JUST FOR NO REASON, THAT IS INEXCUSABLE. 

I WILL ALWAYS DEFEND MY HUSBAND, IF I KNOW HE IS RIGHT....................AND I KNOW ONE THING...THAT HE TELLS ME THE TRUTH.............JIMMY IS THE TYPE OF MAN WHO DEFENDS ME, HIS WIFE.  HE IS THE ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO HAS EVER STUCK UP FOR ME, HIS WIFE.......AND I DO THE SAME FOR HIM, AS LONG AS I KNOW HE IS DOING THE RIGHT THING.

LAST YEAR AT THIS TIME, IN SEPTEMBER, I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, AND ALMOST DIED.  I WAS WHEELED INTO THE OPERATING ROOM THE SAME MORNING THAT JIMMY LEFT TALBOT HALL, AND WAS BROUGHT BY BUS TO KINTOCK...AS HE RODE THE BUS, I WAS WHEELED ON A GURNEY FOR EMERGENCY SURGERY..........I WAS IN SEPTIC SHOCK, I WAS SEVERELY ANEMIC, AND HAD BEEN TRANSFUSED...MY BOTH LEGS WERE SWOLLEN 3 TIMES THEIR SIZE....MY TOE WAS BLACK, AND READY TO FALL OFF...MY LEGS WERE RED, WITH CELLULITIS.......BLISTERS ON MY LEGS AND FEET............AN ABCESS WAS REMOVED , 9.5 centimeters long, 2 1/2 cm deep, AND THE TOE REMOVED..........AND ALL I DID WAS TELL EVERYBODY HOW I MISSED MY HUSBAND........AS  WAITED ON THE GURNEY, I TOLD EVERYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN, THAT MY HUSBAND WAS IN PRISON, AND I WANTED HIM THERE WITH ME...THEY ALL LISTENED TO ME...AS I TALKED AND CRIED....JIMMY WAS IN A PLACE I COULD NOT REACH...I WISH THAT ON NO ONE...THAT NO ONE WILL EVER EXPERIENCE THAT......THAT YOU ARE NEAR TO DEATH, AND ARE ALL ALONE, AS I WAS.............YOU SEE, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, SEPSIS GOES THROUGH-OUT YOUR BODY, ..IT IS A SEVERE INFECTION THAT ANTIBIOTICS CAN'T GET RID OF....I WAS SHAKING ALL THE TIME...SO COLD, I WOULD WRAP MYSELF FROM HEAD TO TOE IN BLANKETS....SHIVERING A.I WAS ON MASSIVE DOSES OF ANTIBX TO KILL IT......I HAD "MRSA," AND WAS ON ISOLATION.............I HAD 9, YES 9 DOCTORS WORKING ON MY CASE...........THEY THOUGHT I HAD A BLOOD DISORDER, LIKE LEUKEMIA, BECAUSE MY HEMOGLOBIN KEPT FALLING, AND THEY WERE PERPLEXED BY THAT............I WAS ALONE, TRYING TO DEAL WITH IT BY MYSELF.....JIMMY WAS IN A PLACE WHERE HE COULD NOT HELP ME...HE WAS IN PRISON.............AND SO, WHEN THE ANESTHIASIOLOGIST WAS READY TO PUT ME UNDER, I RAISED MY HEAD FROM THE PILLOW, AND SAID TO THOSE IN TH OPERATING ROOM, "WELL, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT MY LIFE YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW?"....THEY LOOKED AT ME A LITTLE PECULIAR...........AND THEN I WAS OUT, FOR 2 HOURS.  AND WOKE UP MINUS A TOE, AND WITH A HUGH INCISION..............  I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 6 WEEKS....STILL BEING TRANSFUSED WITH BLOOD....DRESSING CHANGES TO A MASSIVE WOUND......I COULD BARELY SPEAK, BECAUSE I HAD SEVERE SHORTNESS OF BREATH, AS I HAD GAINED 45 LBS OF FLUID RETENTION, AND WAS ON OXYGEN, ETC....I STILL FELT LIKE I WAS DYING, BECAUSE I COULDN'T BREATH, OR TALK.............AND SO I JUST CRIED MOST OF THE TIME.....AND I WAS LUCKY THAT JIMMY CALLED ME CONSTANTLY...HE WAS , AND STILL IS, MY ONLY LIFE-LINE.....I MAINLY LISTENED TO HIM ON THE PHONE, BECAUSE I COULDN'T TALK......AND THE DAY I HAD MY FOOT DRESSING CHANGED FOR THE FIRST TIME BY THE SURGEON, I WANTED TO "BOLT" OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, LIKE A WILD STALLION....I CRIED TO JIMMY TO DRIVE UP TO THE FRONT DOOR OF THE HOSPITAL...I WANTED TO GET OUT OF THAT PLACE..."PLEASE TAKE ME HOME, " I SCREAMED        YOU SEE, I WAS SO SHORT OF BREATHE, I FELT LIKE I WAS DYING, AND COULD NOT HANDLE IT ALONE...........BUT, MY JIMMY ALWAYS HAD THE MAGICAL WORDS FOR ME..........HE CALMED ME DOWN, AND TOLD ME I MUST STAY IN THE HOSPITAL, AND HE WOULD BE THERE ON THE PHONE FOR ME.

AND SO, THERE IT IS...I'M GLAD I TOLD THE STORY , ONCE AGAIN, ABOUT LAST YEAR...I'M SORRY TO GO ON AND ON..........BUT IT'S BETTER I GOT IT OUT OF ME.

IN DECEMBER 2004, THE SURGEON TOLD ME "YOU HAVE  A MIRACULOUS HEALING POWER WITHIN YOU.  I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW YOUR FEET AND LEGS HEALED SO WELL...YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL CIRCULATION IN YOUR LEGS...I THOUGHT I HAD TO DO 2 MORE SURGERIES ON YOUR FOOT, BUT I DON'T NEED TO."   (well, wild horses couldn't get me back in a hospital, without my husband by my side).

AND SO, I LOOK AT THIS YEAR AS DIFFERENT.......THINGS ARE PROGRESSING............I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE TODAY ABOUT THE PEACE I FEEL...ABOUT BEING IN BALANCE AND HARMONY.................UNTIL JIMMY CALLED ME A LITTLE WHILE AGO, AND TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED TODAY......................

AND THIS YEAR, THE FURLOUGHS ARE IMPORTANT, BECAUSE JIMMY WILL BE TAKING ME TO 3 DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS IN THE COMING WEEKS........RETINA SPECIALIST....MEDICAL DOCTOR, AND KIDNEY DOCTOR.

 

AND SO, I LOVE MY HUSBAND, AND WILL DEFEND HIM, IF OTHERS DO HIM WRONG....I THINK IT IS A NATURAL INSTINCT IN A WOMAN WHO LOVES HER MAN.

AND NOW, I WILL GO OUT AND WALK AROUND THE CIRCLE WE LIVE ON.........I WILL MEDITATE ON NATURE....THE TREES, THE PLANTS, THE BIRDS..........AND SO, I WILL KEEP MYSELF IN HARMONY AND BALANCE, AS MUCH AS I CAN..............I WISH NO HARM ON ANYONE, OR ANYTHING.  AND MOST OF ALL, I WISH GOOD HEALTH TO ALL...........TO BE DYING, AND KNOW YOU ARE DYING, WITHOUT THE MAN YOU LOVE NEXT TO YOU IS A HORRIBLE THING......................PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL.............FRAN

KINTOCK ...5TH FURLOUGH HOME

JIMMY HAD HIS 5TH FURLOUGH HOME....HE LEFT THIS MORNING AT 7AM...I RESTED MOST OF THE DAY , AFTER HE LEFT.  THINGS ARE MORE BALANCED NOW...HE ARRIVED 1PM ON WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON, AND LEFT AT 7AM THE NEXT MORNING...THAT WAS 18 HOURS TOGETHER...WE HAVE SLOWED DOWN A LITLLE...I MEAN ABOUT HOUSEWORK, BUT SPEND MOST OF THE TIME IN EACH OTHERS ARMS.....THAT IS HOW IT WAS BEFORE JIMMY WENT TO PRISON ON MARCH 28, 2003....IT WAS LOVE-MAKING ALL THE TIME...LIKE 24/7...EVERY FEW HOURS....AND NOW, IT SEEMS LIKE WE HAVE SLIPPED BACK INTO OUR PREVIOUS MODE...IT'S VERY RELAXING TO LAY IN EACH OTHERS ARMS, AND GAZE INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES...AND KISS...AND KISS , ON END....  THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR THE 2 OF US RIGHT NOW...I TOLD HIM TODAY, WE ARE LIKE PRIMITIVE MAN, AND YET , ON THE OTHER HAND WE ARE OF AN ADVANCED NATURE...MAN IS A SEXUAL CREATURE, AND YOU CAN NOT DENY THAT...

AND SO, WE ALSO WATCHED A MOVIE..."PAY PER VIEW,"..(an adult movie).................TRUTHFULLY, WE DIDN'T REALLY WATCH IT, SINCE WE WERE BUSY DOING OUR OWN THING....THE AUDIO WAS PRETTY GOOD, THOUGH   :)  

AND THAT'S ABOUT IT...THAT'S LIFE FOR ME...FOR US...LAZY DAY, LAZY AFTERNOON....SLIPPING INTO THE SUNSET, AND THEN THE NIGHT....OVER TOO FAST.

WE HAD SOME NICE FOOD...I COOKED RIGATONI WITH MEAT SAUSE.....BROCOLLI....I MADE POTATO SALAD....SALAD...LOTS OF STUFF.

JIMMY GAVE ME THE BIGGEST COMPLIMENT.  HE SAID MY STYLE OF COOKING IS "GOURMET."  THAT IS BECAUSE I COOK FRESH, HEALTHY STUFF, VERY LIGHT...BUT USE A NICE COMBO OF HERBS AND SPICES...AND THINGS LIKE CRUSHED GINGER AND GARLIC..AND EXTRA- VIRGIN OLIVE OIL............PRESSED.  THINGS LIKE BALSAMIC VINEGAR...

THE ANIMALS WERE ALL OVER JIMMY...MISTY, THE CAT, DECIDES TO NOW SIT UP ON JIMMY'S TUMMY, SINCE SHE CAN'T LAY BETWEEN US, AS WE ARE ALWAYS IN EACH OTHERS ARMS.  SO, FROM UP ABOVE, ON DADDY'S TUMMY. MISTY G;ARES AT THE 2 OF US.  SHE IS A LITTLE JEALOUS OF ME, AND GIVES ME DIRTY LOOKS.  PRINCE GETS HIS WALKS BY JIMMY...HE GOT 3 WALKS, WHICH HE LOVES...HE GETS TO RUN WITH JIMMY, WHICH HE LOVES....AND JIMBO, WELL, HE IS HIS USUAL SELF..........

AND SO, TODAY THE DAY WAS QUIT.  PRINCE AND I WATCHED JIMMY'STAXI PULL AWAY AT 7AM...GOING TO THE BUS DEPOT.  THEN WE WATCHED SOME TV, AND SLIPPED BACK INTO BED.

JIMMY TOLD ME TODAY , THAT HE DIDN'T ACCOMPLISH EVERYTHING HE WANTED TO WITH ME....WELL, I MEAN, THERE JUST ISN'T ENOUGH TIME TO DO EVERYTHING...

AND SO, NOW I WAIT FOR NEXT WEDNESDAY, WHEN JIMMY WILL RETURN AGAIN.  I HAVE TO ENCOURAGE MYSELF TO RELAX, AND JUST KEEP FOCUSED, WHEN HIMMY ARRIVES HOME...AND I'VE DECIDED TO FOCUS ON THE PHYSICAL RIGHTNOW.....BECAUSE THAT WAS IMPORTANT FROM THE START OF OUR MARRIAGE....OF COURSE OUR MARRIAGE IS A CONGLOMERATION OF MANY THINGS...IT IS HARD TO EXPLAIN.

WE BOTH HAD A LITTLE SURPRISE, TOO!   I BOUGHT A SRATCH-OFF LOTTO TICKET, AND UNBELIEVABLY WON $500.00.....I HAD 3 FLOWERS ON A BIRTHDAY WISHES TICKET....I WASN'T SURE I WAS SEEING RIGHT!...FUNNY THING IS, I MISPLACED THE TIX UPON BUYING IT....AND AFTER SEARCHING THE GARBAGE ETC., I FOUND IT........LAST YEAR I WON $100, on another scratch off...so it is possible!

WELL, I'LL SAY GOOD-NITE...I ALWAYS THINK OF ALL THE PRISON WIVES, WHO ARE OUT THERE, REMAINING DEDICATED TO THEIR MAN....HOW THEY WISH TO HAVE EVEN A FEW HOURS WITH THEM...AND SO I AM GRATEFUL THAT I AM ABLE TO BE WITH JIMMY....THAT HE HAS WONDERFUL COUNSELORS...CASE-WORKERS, WHO HAVE MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME, TO BE WITH THE MAN I LOVE........I PRAY THAT ONE DAY, YOU TOO, WILL BE TOGETHER WITH YOUR MAN.........................FRAN

Katrina

THERE IS SADNESS IN OUR COUNTRY, IN THE AFTERMATH OF HURRICANE KATRINA...THE DESTRUCTION, THE FLOODS.....THE DEATHS AND LOSS OF LOVED ONES.  OUR COUNTRY IS NOW IN A STATE OF MOURNING...THE FLAG IS AT HALF-STAFF....ANOTHER VERY SAD ASPECT IS THAT AROUND THE WORLD, THE HEADLINES ON NEWSPAPERS HAVE READ THINGS LIKE , " AMERICA IS NOW LIKE  A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY."  HOW SAD FOR THOSE THAT LOVE THEIR COUNTRY...OUR GOVERMENT HAS ACTUALLY EMBARRESSED THE CITIZENS OF THIS COUNTRY.....

AND SO, I'VE SAT GLUED TO THE TV, LIKE OTHERS, I SUPPOSE....TEARFUL AND DISTRESSED BY SUCH DEVISTATION.

JIMMY AND I , ALTHOUGH SEPERATED THESE YEARS BY THE WALLS OF PRISON, ARE VERY THANK-FUL TO HAVE EACH OTHER.  OUR BEING APART IS A LONG, PROLONGED ONE....THOSE IN NEW ORLEANS...WELL, THEY ARE STILL IN THE BEGINNING STAGES OF SHOCK.....YES, ONCE AGAIN, I TALK ABOUT THE GRIEVING PROCESS.

AND SO, I SAID TO JIMMY, "ASK YOUR BOSS AT IGA FOODSTORE IF THE STORE CAN DONATE SOME BOTTLED WATER TO NEW ORLEANS."  JIMMY ASKED HIM, ON SATURDAY, AND THE BOSS'S RESPONSE WAS, "NO , THEY HAVE ENOUGH OF WATER."  I WAS REALLY SHOCKED, TO HEAR THOSE WORDS, FROM AN INTELLIGENT PERSON.  SO, I SAID TO JIMMY, "LET'S SEND THE WATER FROM US."  JIMMY REPLIED, "FRAN, I ALREADY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT."...YES, WE ARE ON THE SAME WAVE-LENGTH...THOUGHT PROCESS.  AND SO ON MONDAY, JIMMY WILL CALL THE IGA FOODSTORE IN LOUISIANA  (OR EVEN FLORIDA...IGA FOODSTORES ARE THROUGHOUT AMERICA, AND WORLD-WIDE), AND HE WILL SEND TO NEW ORLEANS SOMETHING LIKE ONE PALLETE OF BOTTLED WATER...THAT IS SOMETHING LIKE 300 GALLONS OF WATER....JIMMY WILL DONATE THAT OUT OF HIS OWN PAYCHECK, AND WILL COST SOMETHING LIKE $125  to $150.  IT IS ALL THAT WE CAN DO.....ON THE 3 HOUR SPECIAL ON LARRY KING ON SATURDAY NIGHT, THEY EVEN ASKED IF LARGE FOOD STORES CAN DONATE FOOD AND WATER..........THEY WILL NEED THE FOOD AND WATER FOR MANY MORE MONTHS.........I HOPE JIMMY'S BOSS DOES NOT EVER KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE DEHYDRATED, AND THIRSTY FOR EVEN 1 DROP OF WATER.....................THIS IS ALL THAT JIMMY AND I CAN DO.....IT IS SO SMALL, COMPARED TO WHAT IS NEEDED....BUT WE NEED TO DO THIS, ESPECIALLY SINCE JIMMY IS WORKING AS ASSISTANT MANAGER IS A FOOD-STORE....HE IS AROUND FOOD AND WATER ALL DAY....IT IS DISHEARTENING TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE DYING OF DEHYDRATION AND THIRST IN OUR OWN COUNTRY.

MY SISTER ASKED ME, HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF THEY REALLY GET THAT WATER?........I HOPE THEY GET IT...THAT'S ALL....NOTHING IS GUARENTEED IN LIFE, BUT AT LEAST WE CAN TRY.

JIMMY HAS BEEN IN THE PRISON SYSTEM FOR ALMOST 2 1/2 YEARS, AND WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 4 1/2 YEARS.  LET ME TELL YOU, THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ONE DAY, OR ONE PHONE CONVERSATION, THAT WE DON'T SAY TO EACH OTHER, "I LOVE YOU."............SAYING "I LOVE YOY. " IS VERY IMPORTANT.........DO NOT DELAY.....SAY IT TO THOSE YOU LOVE, TODAY....NOW.  DO NOT REGRET , LIKE THOSE IN THE SOUTH WHO HAVE LOVED ONES THEY LOST, THAT THEY NEVER TOLD THAT PERSON THEY LOVE THEM...FOR MANY IT IS TOO LATE...........LEARN TO SAY THOSE WORDS, IF YOU MUST.........AND NEVER, EVER GO TO BED ANGRY AT ONE ANOTHER...ALWAYS ,MAKE UP BEFORE YOU GO TO BED.

JIMMY AND I SAY THE WORDS, "I LOVE YOU, " HUNDREDS OF TIMES PER DAY....WE NEVER TIRE OF IT, AND WE FEEL TOTALLY CONNECTED WITH ONE ANOTHER.

JIMMY AND I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN PHYSICALLY CONNECTED THROUGH-OUT HIS YEARS OF INCARCERATION, BUT WE HAVE STAYED CONNECTED IN A MENTAL, AND SPIRITUAL WAY.....BEFORE HE WENT TO PRISON, WE MADE THAT VOW TO EACH OTHER....THAT MENTALLY WE WOULD ALWAYS REMAIN CONNECTED....THAT WE WOULD LEARN TO USE OUR MINDS TO STAY CONNECTED...AND YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO DO...WE DID IT, AND THUS ARE MORE CONNECTED IN OUR MARRIAGE THAN EVER............

I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE EVENING, DESPITE OUR COUNTRY'S CIRCUMSTANCES, AND DESPITE THOSE PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR LOVED ONES...WHETHER THEIR LOVED ONES ARE AFFECTED BY KATRINA, OR WHETHER YOUR LOVED ONE IS AWAY FROM YOU, IN PRISON.......

GOOD-NITE........................FRAN

4th furlough home

WELL, JIMMY CAME HOME YESTERDAY, AT 1PM...WEDNESDAY.  AND THEN, AGAIN, HE LEFT THIS MORNING, AT 8AM....IT IS WONDERFUL TO HAVE JIMMY HOME...IT IS COMPARABLE TO HAVING A WEEKL;Y DATE WITH YOUR HUSBAND....SO MUCH TO DO, AND SO LITTLE TIME TO DO IT....AROUND MIDNIGHT, I ALREADY START TO FEEL SAD, BECAUSE JIMMY WILL SOON BE LEAVING IN THE MORNING.....ANYHOW, JIMMY HAD A GOOD SLEEP, IN HIS OWN BED, LAST NITE...AND I'M GLAD HE DID....OF COURSE HE SLEEPS ON MY BACK-SIDE, AS HE ALWAYS DOES....AND HE HOLDS ME VERY TIGHTLY.....AT ONE POINT, I GOT UP TO GET A GLASS OF WATER, AND HE WOKE UP, AND STARTED SCREAMING MY NAME....HE DID THAT WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED, TOO....HE JUST HAS TO HOLD ME EVERY SECOND WHILE HE IS IN BED....HE WOKE UP ANOTHER TIME, AND TOLD ME HE WAS FREEZING, AND HE HAD ICE CYCLES GROWING ON PARTS OF HIS BODY  :)   WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK!....I HAD THE AIR-CONDITIONING ON FULL BLAST, AND THE TEMPERATURE IN THE HOUSE HAD DROPPED TO 59 DEGREES....YEP, THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A NICE BIG MAN WRAPPED AROUND YOU ALL NITE!

LAST EVENING, BETWEEN SESSIONS, (LOVE -MAKING SESSIONS, THAT IS), JIMMY AND I WATCHED A MOVIE ON "ON-DEMAND.".....IT IS CALLED "WHITE NOISE".     :)   I EVEN MADE POP-CORN, AND DIDN'T BURN ONE KERNAL...JIMMY IS ALWAYS AMAZED AT THAT, BECAUSE WHEN AT BAYSIDE PRISON, THE GUYS MADE POPCORN EVERY EVEING...AND THEY ALWAYS BURNT IT......

WHEN JIMMY ARRIVED HOME, I HAD COOKED HIM POT-ROAST...AND IT TURNED OUT THE BEST HE EVER TASTED......YOU SEE, BEFORE JIMMY LEFT FOR PRISON, I NEVER EVEN WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN...HE WASN'T SURE I KNEW WHERE THE KITCHEN WAS, AS HE ALWAYS COOKED, SERVED ME, AND CLEANED UP AFTERWARDS.......BUT NOW, BEING ALONE, I DO IT ALL...AND IT KIND OF AMAZES HIM.........THE TRUTH IS, I CAN COOK VERY WELL, AS I GREW UP IN AN ITALIAN HOUSEHOLD, AND WAS AROUND MY MOTHER, WHO WAS COOKING, AND I LEARNED AT AN EARLY AGE....AND TODAY MY COOKING TENDS TOWARD ASIAN COOKING...I USE A LOT OF INDIAN SPICES...AND GINGER.......IT'S PRETTY MUCH MY OWN INVENTION...........AND SO MY HUBAND IS PLEASED WITH ME AS HIS WIFE, AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN EVER.............MY ROLE IN LIFE , WHICH MAKES ME VERY HAPPY, IS TO BE JIMMY'S WIFE, AND TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSEHOLD, AND PETS WHILE HE IS AWAY, WORKING.....I ALWAYS TOLD JIMMY...MANY TIMES OVER, "I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR WIFE,  I WANT TO BE MRS. R."....WHAT I MEANT IS THAT IN LIFE I HAVE DONE THIS AND THAT...BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND...AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.....

JIMMY OF COURSE, ALSO DID WORK IN THE HOUSE , TOO...AS HE IS A MAN WHO ENJOYS TAKING CARE OF THE HOUSEHOLD.........HE MOVED THE LARGE COMPUTER DESK FROM THE LIVING ROOM, INTO THE EXTRA BEDROOM...I AM NOW BACK TO NORMAL WITH MY COMPUTER...AS I ORIGINALLY WAS, AND CAN SEE THE SCREEN CLEARLY.  JIMMY ALSO SET UP LAMPS FOR ME, NEAR THE COMPUTER.

JIMMY LEFT HOME AT 8 AM...TOOK THE 2 BUSES BACK TO KINTOCK...HE MUST HAVE ARRIVED AT KINTOCK AT AROUND 1PM...THEN HE RE-BOARDED THE BUS, AND RODE THE 2 1/2 HOUR TRIP TO HIS JOB AT ATLANTIC CITY....THAT IS 7 1/2 , OR MORE HOURS OF TRAVEL....IF HE COULD ONLY LEAVE THE HOUSE AND GO TO HIS JOB, THAT WOULD BE 2 HOURS OF TRAVEL, OPPOSED TO 7 1/2 HOURS......HE SAYS HE DOESN'T MIND IT...THAT HE WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET HOME TO HIS WIFE....HE HAS GOTTEN USED TO SLEEPING ON THE BUS....MY HUSBAND IS A STRONG-WILLED, AND DETERMINED INDIVIDUAL, WHO WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE HERE AT HOME WITH ME, EVEN FOR JUST A FEW HOURS.....THEY DON'T REALLY MAKE MEN LIKE THAT!....HE KEEPS SAYING THAT THE LONG HOURS OF TRAVEL DON'T BOTHER HIM, AND TRUTHFULLY JIMMY LOOKS BETTER THAN EVER...HE EVEN LOST MORE WEIGHT....AS HIS WIFE, I CAN ESPECIALLY FEEL IT, IN AREAS OF HIS BODY, THAT SEEM SLIMMER....HOWEVER, DON'T WORRY, THE IMPORTANT AREAS   :)  .....ARE THERE BIGGER THAN EVER!...........  :)

BYE EVERYONE...HOPE YOU HAVE A REAL NICE EVENING...GIVE A SPECIAL KISS AND HUG TO YOUR LOVED ONES....YOU ARE LUCKY TO HAVE THEM NEAR YOU.....AND LET US REMEMBER THOSE PEOPLE, IN OUR OWN COUNTRY, WHO ARE NOW SUFFERING , WITH THE HURRICANE AND FLOODS IN THE SOUTH.........FRAN.